All language subtitles for benson_s01e19_cold_storage

What do you mean you can't find him?
Eight bowls can't just disappear.

Benson, hang up the phone. I am going to
kill you.

Kill me in a minute. I'm on the phone.

Benson.

Well, keep looking.

It's got to turn up somewhere.

I am not going to stand for this.

You keep talking like that, Krause, and
you won't be standing at all.

We have 200 people coming to dinner
tonight.

How can you change the menu?

By drawing a line through the word
chicken.

But the work is all done. I have 200
tiny chickens all ready to go.

Why don't you go with them?

Krause, we can't serve chicken to the
Croatian people. It's their sacred bird.

Then they should love it. They pray to
it. They don't eat it.

It says so in this book on Croatian
customs. Well, why didn't you tell me

yesterday? Because Taylor didn't bother
to give it to me until ten minutes ago.

We'd better serve veal.

Fine. I will smash the chickens flat and
tell them it is veal.

Fine, I'll smash you flat and say it was
an accident.

Get your people started on real veal.

I have 200 chickens. What will I do with
them?

Freeze them.

Oh, yes, and Kraus, the Croatians sent
some wooden bowls over here they use for

some kind of ceremony. Have you seen
them?

Yeah. I put them away with all the other
ugly stuff we get.

Well, where?

You want to know? You've got to ask me
nicely.

Gretchen, sweetheart.

Would you please tell me where those
bowls are while you're still able to

That's more like it.

They are in the cold storage room.

You're in the basement, right?

Yeah. The old part.

Under the east wing.

past the left corridor leading to the
main cellars, down the main steps, right

where it's always been.

It'd be faster if I flew to Croatia and
bought new bowls.

I'll get them myself.

All this work to do and he sends me off
on a fool's errand.

Don't say it!

Vincent, do you have some string I can
tie this up with?

Here, there should be some in that
drawer right there.

emperor's daughter.

What'd you get her?

Well, I don't get that much allowance.

So instead of buying something new, you
thought you'd give her a hand -me -down?

It's practically new. Only one owner.

I found it in the den. Nobody ever uses
it.

Oh, an ashtray.

How'd you know the princess smokes
cigars?

She does?

No. Besides, somebody gave this to your
father.

Oh, well.

It's hard to know what to get a
princess.

I'll try to find something else.

Okay, but stay out of my...

If you won't take this as criticism, it
just seems that this welcoming speech is

a little dry.

Well, what do you mean, sir?

He hates it.

It's just that I usually open my remarks
with a few jokes.

Sir, this is an official ceremony for
the Emperor of Croatia, not a roast for

Don Rickles.

I know that, but I'm sure the Emperor
would enjoy a good story.

Well, I wouldn't count on it, sir. The
Croatians are very formal and solemn.

All right.

I'll watch my step.

Good. I know these people. I've been to
Croatia.

Oh, yeah? What's it like?

It's very green and lush, and everywhere
you look, chickens.

You talk about watching your step.

I'll see you later, sir. Where are you
going, bud?

After a fool I sent on a fool's errand.
Better.

Make sure there are no slip -ups
tonight. The Empress tour has been

Washington. and they are very anxious to
develop strong ties with Croatia.

It's a beautiful country. They have a
lot to offer. Like 4 % of the world's

reserves? Sure. Why else would we suck
up to these barbarians?

Hello, Grenade.

Come up with a way to get out of here.

Just calm down.

Calm down, he says.

First you change the menu, then you send
me up to some ugly bulls. And thanks to

your stupidity, I am stuck down here. I
have 200 guests coming and a million

things to do. So don't tell me to calm
down, you clown.

I have to get out of here.

You keep on babbling, woman. I'm going
to get you out of here in a hurry, right

through the keyhole.

There is no keyhole.

Then it'll take a little longer.

the guard gate, but if you could just
look up from your guns and ammo magazine

and just take a look and see if Benson's
car is in the parking lot, thank you.

Marcy, run down, make me three copies of
this right away. Excuse me, Taylor. I'm

on the phone.

Yeah.

Okay, thanks.

Benson's car is still here.

Fine. Kraus and Benson take a walk one
hour before a major diplomatic function.

Would you stop?

Well, that's the only excuse I'll
accept.

Three copies.

Marcy? Uh -huh? I have a problem.

You do?

If you were a princess, what would you
want?

Oh? The wisdom to rule wisely, the love
of my people, and enough money to pay

off all my charge cards.

Oh. Well, if you can think of something
I can fit in this shoebox, just let me

know. Okay.

Marcy. Is there any word on Benson and
Miss Krause?

No, sir.

Frankly, I'm getting very worried about
them. Oh, Marcy, I'm sure they have some

perfectly logical reason for not being
here and for turning the banquet into a

disaster.

You have those copies yet? No, not yet.

Marcy, could you come in and take some
dictation? I'd like to add a little

to the speech that Taylor wrote for me.

Yes, sir, I'll be right in. I just have
these three copies to run off.

Oh, Taylor would be happy to do that for
you. Wouldn't she, Taylor?

Why are you doing that?

Are you talking to me?

No, I'm talking to Howard Coselly,
ringside.

Why are you doing that? There might be a
secret passageway.

There might be a picture window, too,
but I wouldn't count on it.

Well, at least I am doing something to
try and get us out of here.

What are you doing?

Well, I was trying to find something to
keep us warm.

I am going, Benson.

Cross, you've been gone for a long time.

No, I mean it, Benson.

I am getting out of here. Now.

Ouch.

Cross, not even the Incredible Hulk
could knock that door down.

Come on, come on.

They've got to know we're missing by
now. It's just a matter of time before

find us.

Oh, what's left of us?

Bad enough I have to die, but to die
here with you, of all people.

Come on, come on, come on. Come on.
Let's go for a walk.

Why? Why not? You got something better
to do?

Supposing they do not find us?

We have no food.

I'm not hungry.

Besides, we can go a long time without
food.

Sure.

We can go without food until we starve
to death.

We're not going to starve to death.

You're right.

Long before we starve to death, we will
die of thirst.

What am I, a yo -yo?

Without question. Now walk.

No more talk of dying of thirst.

It'll never happen.

How can you be so sure?

Because we're going to freeze to death.

You're just saying that to try and cheer
me up.

It's cold in here, but it is not that
cold.

Well, I hope you're right.

What are you talking about?

Nothing. Forget it.

Benson, if there's something I should
know, give it to me straight. I can take

it.

Well, I don't know what you call it, but
I saw it in Korea.

It's got something to do with your body
temperature dropping, even though it

isn't all that cold.

First you get weak, then delirious, and
then it's over.

The way I figure it, we got two, three
hours.

So...

You seen any good movies lately?

Come

on,

Kraus, keep walking.

How can I keep walking? I cannot feel my
feet.

I can feel them. They keep stepping on
mine.

Have some matches. Why don't we start a
fire?

I told you before, we start a fire in
here, the smoke will back up and kill

Mrs. Benson.

No, really, really. George Washington
wept here.

No, it's an actual fact.

And after spending two days and two
nights in this room, in this very room,

Alexander Graham Bell decided to invent
the telephone.

I know what you're trying to do, Benson,
but please, just let me sit

down. No, Cross, come on, you've got to
keep moving. No, I can't, Benson.

Please, just let me rest.

You gonna get back up?

Yeah, I promise.

You know, Benson, somehow I never
thought it would be like this.

All my life I have worked hard and saved
every penny so that one day I could

start to live.

Funny, isn't it?

If you say so.

What do you think, Benson?

About what?

About dying.

I'm a Ginnett.

Come on, Krause, let's walk.

I can't.

Come on, you promised.

I lied.

So what are you going to do, kill me?

Come on, Gretchen.

It's the only way we can stay warm.

No, there is another way.

What's that?

It's...

thrill me either, Benson.

But it beats dying.

Just barely.

Yes, Sergeant, our security people told
me that I should call you to report that

two people are missing.

Well, it's been about four hours now and
I'm... What do you mean they haven't

been missing long enough to be missing?

24 hours?

They could be back by then.

Thank you very much for all your help.

Still no word on Benson and Miss Cross?
No, sir.

I thought it might give us a clue if we
checked Benson's appointment book.

Oh, good. What does he have in there for
the day?

6 o 'clock, brief staff on protocol. 6
.30, check parking arrangement. 6 .45,

general inspection.

7 o 'clock, prepare buffet table. 7 .30,
check security and guest list. 7 .45,

on corporate wines.

8 o 'clock, guests arrive.

When Benson shows up, remind me to give
him a raise.

Sir, the guests are starting to arrive.

Oh, Taylor, there's no need to get
excited.

Governor, you don't realize what is
going on out there.

Nobody knows where to hang their coats.
They're parking their cars on the front

lawn. And they refuse to admit the
Parisian prime minister because he isn't

wearing shoes.

Evidently, Benson didn't get a chance to
brief the staff on protocol.

Well, I'll just have to do it myself.

Okay, he underlined all the important
parts.

I don't need that.

I've been there. I'm practically a
native.

I wish you'd fill me in.

No problem, sir. Just a few things to
keep in mind. Such as what?

Such as, when you're introduced to the
emperor, give him a low bow from the

waist.

Got it.

It says here a bow like that means I
surrender.

Now, when did they start that?

Three thousand years ago.

I don't think I can legally surrender
one of the United States to a foreign

country. All right, forget about it.

Taylor, just how long were you in
Croatia?

A weekend.

Pardon me?

Well, it was a three -day weekend.

Now, when you're at the table, if you
are sitting to the left of the emperor's

number two wife, avoid eye contact with
all wives of a lower rank.

Or? Or be prepared to accept them as
gifts.

You know, I... I had a similar offer
once at a lumberman's convention.

But I don't think they were gifts.

Well, we better get out there before we
really offend the emperor.

Oh, now, Taylor, don't panic.

We'll sit down out there, we'll have a
little conversation, eat a little

chicken, everything will be fine.

Gretchen. Don't go, Hans.

Come on, Gretchen. Wake up. You're
delirious.

Deliriously happy, you wonderful man.

Come on, Gretchen. We've got to get
moving.

There is no hurry, Hans. Mama and Papa
won't be home from the beer garden for

another hour.

Come on, Krause. Let's walk.

Jack Frost is nipping at your brain.

Trying to check out this vent. I can't
tell if it's blocked or not.

My whole life flashing before my eyes.

You're so amusing.

Play something for me on the tuba.

Now we can start this fire.

If the smoke goes up the vent, it's got
to come out somewhere and maybe somebody

will see it.

On the other hand, if the vent's blocked
off...

Smoke will back up in here and kill us.

Kraus, we don't have much time.

What do you say?

I do.

You're right. We'll take a chance on the
smoke.

Wait a minute, Hans.

Did you hear that?

You'd better hide. That may be my
parrot.

Oh, God, I hope this vent works.

I don't know, but you ain't getting it
from me.

Come on, let's get out of here. The
place is filling up with smoke.

200 guests and the emperor of Croatia,
and we have to evacuate them to the

lawn? I tell you, Marcy, we're being
sabotaged.

Marcy, even paranoids have real enemies.

Since the mansion's on fire, don't you
think it would be a good idea for us to

leave? In a minute. I'm just going to
draft my resignation.

Your resignation? What are you talking
about?

Marcy, this was a major diplomatic
event, and we blew it. Forget the oil.

Forget international cooperation.

Forget the emperor throwing his chicken
at the waiter.

Resigning is the only honorable thing
left to do. It is the only way that

into my face. Taylor, would you come on?
I'm interested in saving more than my

face. Oh, here you are. Listen, you
better come on outside.

Everybody's milling around out there
enjoying the party.

This fire might be the best thing that's
happened all evening.

But the emperor just loves fire engines.

He's up on the top of the hook and
ladder with a fireman's helmet and

ringing the bell.

Come on. It's my turn next.

Yeah, fine.

Don't worry about your friend. She's
going to be all right.

She never was before.

Oh, there they are.

What's wrong?

What happened?

It's a long story, sir.

Oh, see, I've discovered our little
hideaway, darling.

And not a very pretty one.

We were really worried about you two
just disappearing like that. Yeah, you

could have ruined the whole banquet.

We were concerned for your personal
safety as well.

Since you were gone, Benson, we had a
lot of excitement around here.

We even had a fire.

No kidding.

It made me an honorary fireman.

It's okay, Ben. I can take it from here.

Benson! What are you doing trying to
slip your shoulder under my hands at me?

She lives.

Spice, are you all right?

We are.

One day you'll look back on this and
laugh.

I doubt it.

It was a miserable experience.

The worst of my entire life.

When you thought I was Hans, you were
crazy about me.

Who's Hans?

I don't know any Hans.

And I don't know sugar from shellac.

There was nothing at all between Hans
and me.

On more than one occasion.

Oh, Benson, what are you still doing up?

I got a lot to think about, sir.

I understand.

You had a real close call.

Yeah, let's put it this way.

You don't know how glad I was to see you
come through that door.

You want to see me do it again?

No.

Katie figure out something to give to
Princess?

Uh, yeah, a T -shirt that says, Keep on
truckin'. Princess gave Katie a dozen

eggs. That sounds fair.

Benson, did you think you were gonna
make it?

Uh, Governor, I wasn't sure.

What went through your mind?

Well, I thought about my family, my
friends, things I've done, things I

done.

Governor, do you realize how many things
I have left to do?

Well, I'll let you get started.

No, no, no, no, no.

Not this minute.

Here's to you.

To life, Governor.

Johnson is videotaped before a studio
audience.