All language subtitles for benson_s01e16_bugging_the_governor

I wonder what is wrong with the dog's
appetite. They hardly touch their lunch.

Maybe the mailman was enough.

Benson, did Marcy leave a number where
she can be reached?

No, what's the problem?

I would prefer talking to Marcy.

Well, so would I, but she's on vacation.

What do you need?

I need help.

You've needed help for a long time.

Oh, I had Benson dump on me. That's what
she did.

Who? Betty Green.

Betty Green.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Real pretty.

Not so high.

Red hair, blue eyes, a lot of lip gloss.

Unforgettable, wasn't she? Especially
with you flopping around after like a

in mating season.

Well, that's my style.

I gotta be me.

Somebody has to.

Thanks a lot, Benson.

Oh, come on, Taylor. I've taken my
lumps. It happens.

But we were developing such a beautiful
relationship, and now all of a sudden

she won't return my calls. I can't eat,
I can't sleep, I can't concentrate.

You sure can talk.

And the worst thing is that I've been
neglecting my duties.

You certainly aren't making my duties
any easier.

What's this?

Did you find your gum?

Well, what is it?

A bug?

A bug!

Did you say a bug?

It's all right, Kraus. I got it.

Oh, my God.

You're right.

Now, how did that get in here?

Maybe Kraus left the screen door open. I
did not!

Let the robber tell you. No telling how
many got in.

Pence, do you realize what this could
mean?

Why, there must be mics all over the
house.

No, mics not all over the house.

Mics probably outside in the garden.

Let's go see.

Ah, good idea.

But, uh, first, let me clarify that
joking reference I made to neglecting my

duties.

Actually, I'm turning out more work than
ever.

And that girl means nothing to me.

What is he doing?

Tell her, Benson.

He'd bet me $10 that he could lift this
chair by one leg.

Good.

I'm in for $10, too, Taylor.

She's in for $10, too, Taylor. This
could be big.

Yes!

Nice try. Come on, let's go outside.

I'll catch you PD.

really done something wrong this time.

Oh, no, Katie, you didn't do anything
wrong.

Just that Lieutenant Gordon here has
found listening devices in every room in

the mansion except your room and the
little bathroom downstairs.

Folks, we've got a real problem here. I
suggest we all sit down.

That's it. Might as well be comfortable.

That's why I'm standing, sir.

we begin? Well, where's Miss Cross?

Well, she went to the market. I'll fill
her in later.

First of all, let me say this is a real
professional job. It's the best work

I've seen in years. These guys are real
pros the best.

Nice to know that some people still take
pride in their work.

Governor, these people aren't writing
Bibles on the head of a pit. They're

trying to find something to use against
you.

Benson, who are you, Columbo?

why these people are recording us.
Gentlemen, I think you're getting into

area. I think I can clear this up now.
First of all, we don't know who did it,

we don't know how they did it, and we
don't know why they did it.

Well, that certainly clears that up.

Do you have any clues?

None whatsoever.

Any questions?

Yeah. How'd you ever make lieutenant?

Sir, why don't we work at your office
down at the Capitol until this matter is

straightened out? I'm afraid that's
bugged, too. Oh, I don't believe this.

in my room. Please, don't abuse my toys.

You brute.

Please, we have a real problem here and
we're trying to find a solution.

There is a very simple solution, sir.
Just yank all the bugs out of here. We

could do that. Well, then let's do it.
Whatever you say, sir. But if we tear

them out, how are we going to trace it
back to the guys that did it? We can't.

Then we shouldn't tear them out. We
shouldn't. Whatever you say, sir.

Lieutenant, do you have an opinion?

Several.

Could you pick one?

What do you want to know?

Anything. Well, judging by the quality
of the work and the cost of the

we're dealing with a big -time operation
here. You're talking your omni

-directionals. You're talking your wood
panel implants.

You're talking crystal -controlled.

You're talking gibberish.

Lieutenant, I think what Benson means
is, uh, what should we do?

You want the bottom line.

Are you getting paid by the hour?

If you want to catch them, leave them
in. If you don't want to be bothered,

them out. Sir, we have a state to run
here. We discuss some very sensitive

issues. There is no choice, just pull
them out. Governor, if you don't go

these guys, who will?

There may be risks involved, but you
can't let them get away with this. I say

leave them in and nail these guys.

Right, Lieutenant. I think it's worth a
try. The bugs stay.

Governor, I think you made a big
mistake.

Oh, yes.

I think next time I'll stand.

Just bear one thing in mind, sir. I
understand you have to watch what you

but if we're going to catch the guys,
you've got to speak as you normally do.

I love you.

You know, that's funny, because I was
getting the feeling you just didn't like

me.

Oh, gee, you have an admirer?

Just some guy at school.

Nothing serious.

Well, it must be serious. He wrote it in
orange crayon.

Betty Green used to send notes on
scented stationery.

Then one day, they just stopped coming.

I want to thank you, sir, for giving me
this opportunity to catch these guys. I

can't wait to meet the person who's
responsible for this really splendid

of work.

Whose side is this guy on?

onto the rear gate.

Yeah, but it'll take you 20 minutes to
carry me back up.

You go ahead without me this time.

Okay. But first, I'm gonna kneel here
for a while and count my blessings.

Count your what?

My blessings.

Benson, do you know how lucky I am to be
loved and cherished?

Sounds like Crayon Man struck again.

Yes, we've met.

Doesn't he remind you of another famous
man who was tall and thin? One of the

great presidents?

Yeah, Millard Fillmore.

Come on, Abraham Lincoln.

My father's just like Honest Abe.

Come on, Katie. I've got work to do,
sweetheart.

My father's the most honest man in the
world. Right. He's kind of good, too.

Right. He's the best father I've ever
met. Come on, Katie. It's time to go

outside and jog around.

successful. All done.

All done without you lifting a finger,
Krauss.

Oh, Benson, you have such a wonderful
sense of humor.

You're pretty funny yourself, too,
Krauss.

what you just said. Oh, no, you want me
to say it again?

Senator Rhinegrove does not represent
the bad people of the state.

Only the rich ones.

Taylor, that song is getting on my
nerves. You've got to stop it.

Or learn the words.

Sir, let's go up to Katie's room.

What for?

Maybe he wants to play with her toys.

that we should discuss upstairs.

Discuss what?

Discuss... I'm tired of worrying about
what I say. Governor,

sir. We all know what's going on here.

Governor. So let's lay the cards on the
table. You're right, sir. You're

absolutely right. Benson.

Oh, don't worry about it, Taylor.
There's nobody here. Let's talk

What are you talking about? Just like
you said, Governor. The money was

in the alley behind the garbage cans.
There it is. A hundred grand, all in new

bills. idea worked perfectly, sir.

Pinson, that's an outrageous lie. The
governor said no such thing.

in the kitchen just now. Are you out of
your mind?

No, but the governor's on my foot.

What you said out there just wasn't

true. I know that, sir, but you were
about to let the buggers know what the

buggies knew, so I had to say something.

Well, couldn't you have said something
nice? These people want a scandal. They

just got it. And we just got five years
for life. They'll think I'm corrupt.

I certainly hope so, sir. That way we
can smoke them out.

That's brilliant. Just brilliant,
Benson.

There's no need to yell, Taylor. The
acoustics in here are really quite good.

If we're going to get these guys, we've
got to give them something they can't

ignore. Well, they can't ignore what you
just said in the kitchen just now.

Oh, that's nothing. We've got to do
better than that.

Don't you have an idea?

Yeah.

He has an idea.

I've got an idea. Let him go out there
and tell him that it was all his idea.

Can I use Marcy's typewriter?

Oh, she took it with her. Can you call a
staff meeting in two hours?

I didn't know you could type, Benson.
Make that three hours.

Benson, do you know where we'll be if
your plan doesn't work? Right where we

are.

Is that it?

Oh, that's it. All right. The meeting is
adjourned. Let's get the hell out of

here.

What can I do for you, Katie?

Have you seen my green pen?

What color is it?

It's... Oh, Benson.

No, I haven't seen it. You doing your
homework?

I did your homework.

Mr. Orange Crayon, be gentle.

It's not him, it's me.

I'm just not ready to make that kind of
commitment.

Besides, he's shorter than I am.

Well, then he's got nowhere to go but
up.

I know, Liebchen.

Benson. Benson, what's all this about a
meeting? What do you want?

I want you to speak up.

Yeah? But the rest of us have something
to say, too, so only speak when it's

called for.

Understand?

Yeah, I think so. Benson.

Taylor, quiet. The governor has
something to say.

I do? Yes, sir, and we can't wait to
hear it. Benson. Taylor, you get your

chance to speak?

Oh, this is ridiculous.

You ready, sir?

Oh, I believe so.

wondering why i have called you all
together right boss we sure are right

kraus

saying, sir? We picked up the hundred
grand today.

I can't wait until we get our share of
the money, Gretchen, my darling.

Yeah, Taylor, my sweet.

Soon we will be dancing the samba in
Rio.

It is like a dream come true, my little
knockwurst.

You are already my dream come true, my
furry little bunny.

Not to mention yourselves.

Let's get on with this. Pause.

Taylor has come up with a great idea.

We can use some of the money to buy
certain members of the state senate.

And those we can't buy, we'll race.

Then the senators will get the state to
purchase that swamp we own in Midville

County. For three million dollars.

Taylor, where are you going?

To put the hundred grand into brown
paper bags.

That is my plan, isn't it?

make a wonderful couple. The question
is, a wonderful couple of what?

Come in.

Are you sure?

Come in.

Oh. Fancy that it was you who sent them
out.

What did you think of us?

John.

John? Yeah.

It's, uh...

Meet me downstairs something John.

In the... In the?

In the John.

Oh, whoa.

Good, because I was about to give up
looking for him.

Looking for who?

John. But there is no John.

Whatever you say, Benson.

I've got this.

I think the guy who's been bugging us is
in the waiting room.

What makes you think so? Well, I was
standing talking to Taylor, and this

whom I've never seen before, comes up to
me and says, Hi, Benson.

Oh, that is your name.

Of course, that's my name. I know that.

The question is, how did he know that?

He must have recognized my voice.

Uh -huh.

Oh, well, we better get ready for him.
Yeah, that's right.

Excuse me.

Are you coming?

Yeah, I'll be along in a minute.

Okay,

come in now.

Governor, this is Mr. Walter Harwell.
Mr. Harwell? Well, I feel as though I

you already, sir. Oh? Well, it's just
that I've heard so much about you.

All good, I hope.

Benson,

Mr. Hallwell would like to talk to the
governor, so if you don't mind.

No, I don't mind.

Benson. No, no, no, no, that's all
right. I think you will all be amused by

I have in here.

What is it, a puppet?

Hardly.

Mr. Hallwell, what... What can I do for
you? Well, for starters, my clients want

you to call off that loan sharking
investigation, appoint a judge or two,

grant certain contracts to a
construction firm that they own.

When I say what can I do for you, I
don't mean what can I do for you

Ah, but I do.

And I'm going to get a lot more.

Are you ever.

Carlo, what are you talking about? I'm
talking about what you've been talking

about for the past few weeks.

This place is wired for sound. I've
heard every word you said.

Oh!

And I have it all here on tape.

In other words, you're trying to
blackmail us. Well, I would prefer to

it as giving you an incentive to
cooperate with me.

Oh, well, I think I've heard enough.

I think I've heard enough.

Have you heard enough? Got it all.

What is this?

It ain't the St. Patrick's Day parade.

to finally meet you in person. You know,
I'm one of your biggest fans. I just

love your work.

Maybe he'll autograph his mug shots for
you.

I thought you were still in jail. Yes,
well, if I go back, you're coming with

me. This paper has everything you've
said, word for word.

Oh, don't bother. We've got plenty of
copies. And we sent one to the attorney

general. Wait a minute.

That meeting yesterday, you made that
all up?

Everything, except the stuff about
Taylor and Krause.

Lieutenant.

I want you to find out how that man got
past our security to install those bugs.

Well, I don't think it was him, sir. You
see, he's got a partner whose specialty

is getting inside.

Well, I hope you catch him. Don't worry,
sir. We'll get her. Oh, you mean, sir,

her? Yes, sir. And real pretty, too.
See, she usually manages to make friends

with some flunky on the inside.

Ends up getting the run of the place.

Yeah? She's about so high?

Yeah. Red hair, blue eyes, a lot of lip
gloss?

Yeah. Have you seen her?

No.

Taylor, have you seen her? Anybody like
that around here lately?

Uh, Lieutenant, I don't want to take up
any more of your time.

I'll be in touch with you later.

I want a thorough investigation,
Lieutenant. I want this woman found.

Well, well, well.

What do you know about that?

Nothing that I care to discuss.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

She used you and then she disappeared.

Well, I guess you'll be going to jail.

Well, I wouldn't worry about it.

Now that you and Kraus got something
going, who knows? Couple of years, you

ought to be married.

Hey, guess what I have behind my back?

Give me your hand.

It's something you write with.

Typewriter.

It's your pen.

Thanks for letting me borrow it.

Ah, you're welcome.

Did you get that Dear John letter off to
Crayon Man?

Yeah. It was the toughest letter I ever
had to write.

How'd he take it?

He could have taken it harder.

He lived, huh?

I found out he sent love notes to all
the girls.

He wasn't taking any chances.

That's what he thinks.

Don't bother to look under there, Katie.
They took out all the bugs.

Well, you never know if you found so
many. In the lamps, under tables, hidden

walls. I know somebody they could have
hired and saved themselves a lot of

money. I hear you.

I'd like to hide her in a wall.

I heard that, too.

How does she do that?

Brunson is videotaped before a studio
audience.