All language subtitles for benson_s01e03_the_presidents_double

Well, Miss Krause, did you remember to
get that... Of course I did.

Did what?

Remember anything you could possibly
mention.

I've arranged hundreds of these
receptions. I think of everything.

Can you guess what I'm thinking now?

Same to you, Benson.

Benson, how can you so uptight?

Well, I just want this to go well,
Katie. I've never met a president

I've met two.

It's no big deal.

Well, I happen to think a lot of
President Okazi.

How come?

Well, because in two years, he's managed
to pull his people together and bring

them free elections, and he's done an
incredible amount for his country.

Then how come I never heard of it? Well,
because it's a new African country.

They just got their independence.

A third world country.

What do we need a third world for
anyway?

We had enough trouble with two.

Miss Krause, have you finished the hors
d 'oeuvres?

Of course I did. What kind of fool do
you think I am?

I don't know. Is there more than one
kind?

The governor would like to see you. Tell
him to come on in.

Benson in his office now.

I'm busy right now.

Benson, obviously it's important or he
wouldn't have sent me to get you.

Obviously. What's it about?

Well, for the moment, all I can say is
that tonight's reception has to go

smoothly and with absolute dignity.

Well, I guess I'll have to cancel the
naked lady popping out of the cake.

Benson. Okay, I'll cancel the cake.

Don't worry.

Everything's going to turn out fine.

Oh, Marcy, I think you better tell
everyone on the staff that they're not

know what happened.

But, sir, if I tell them, then they'll
know.

Oh, but they won't know what it is they
don't know, will they?

I don't know.

Governor? Oh, come in, come in.

Gentlemen, this is Benson.

So what do you think?

About what?

Interesting. He might work.

Under the circumstances, he's ideal.

Thank you. You're not so bad yourself.

Who's the Shriner?

This is Mr.

Roromo, the Foreign Minister of the
Republic of Zadmundi.

Oh,

it's an honor to meet you, sir.

Yes, and it pleases us greatly to make
your acquaintance as well. Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Well, I'd love to stay and chat some
more, but I've got to get back to work.

Again, it was a pleasure meeting you.
Excuse me. No, um, Benson, the reason we

asked you in is that President Ducati
won't be able to attend the reception.

What happened? I'm afraid he's
indisposed.

Who? He's a little under the weather.

Oh, he was poisoned.

Well, don't look at me.

We have the suspects in custody.

Is the president all right? Oh, he'll be
fine.

Seems three members of a radical fringe
group managed to slip a potentially

lethal substance into his orange juice
at the hotel this morning.

Wasn't there security with him?

Yes, I was with him.

What'd you do, squeeze your own?

Caldwell Secret Service. Could I see
that again?

Benson, he's the real thing.

He may be the real thing, but he ain't
very good at it.

Governor, what has this got to do with
me?

You'll see.

Once the radical faction of my country
learns that the president is temporarily

vulnerable, they will immediately
attempt to overthrow him. Now, they must

convinced that their plot has failed.

Then they won't take your word for it,
huh? No, Benson. You see, President

Rukazi's in the hospital, and our guests
are expecting to meet him tonight.

Well, what time are visiting hours? I
can take four in my car.

reception. The whole world would know
something's wrong.

Well, make up a story. Say he's got the
flu or something. But how's that going

to fool anyone, Benson? They sent people
here to poison him. They'll think

they've succeeded.

Yes, and new fighting will break out
before the president can return home. So

what are you going to do? Well,
fortunately, Taylor has a plan.

Really? Taylor?

That's only been good.

What is it?

We simply have someone impersonate the
president.

That's who.

You want me to pretend I'm President
Okazi?

Will you do it?

No.

What do you mean, no?

No. N -O. No. I can't put it plainer
than that.

Vincent, they already caught the people
who tried to poison him, so it's not as

if there's any danger.

I can't do it. Get somebody else.
There's no time to get anyone else. The

will be here soon.

Besides, if we went looking for someone,
word would get out.

Well, what about Mr. Leromo or Caldwell
here? Caldwell volunteered, but I'm

afraid he's too tall.

Well, if he were to scrunch down like
that, he'd stick an image.

Benson. No good?

The worst. Well, suppose he stood in a
hole.

This is the president's first visit to
this country. This is all anyone's ever

seen of President Ukazi.

Put you in a beard and the right
clothes, I'm sure you could impersonate

Well, I sing a little bit, but I don't
do no impressions.

Well, Benson, when their country's
embroiled in civil war, I hope you can

with your conscience.

If he doesn't want to, I can understand.

No, no, let's face it. What's at stake
here is either your vanity or

carnage. Now, wait.

I'm not afraid of embarrassing myself.

I just don't want to embarrass you and
the state and President Ocasio. It'd

never work. There is a chance that it
might.

Mm -hmm, about one in a million.

But you are the only chance that we
have.

Come on, nobody will believe I'm
president.

Benson, I didn't think anybody would
believe me as governor, but here I am.

Uh -huh.

Benson, this is very important.

All right, Benson, when were you elected
president?

Uh, 1977.

Ouch, ouch!

Watch those scissors.

Benson, please pay attention. We only
have a couple of minutes. I know that.

You have a degree from Oxford. You speak
seven languages.

Is one of them English?

Good, because that's all they get in
a...

Try not to sweat too much. It'll loosen
the glue. No, you try not to sweat when

you're nervous.

Benson, tale with me.

What's the average annual rainfall in
Zodmundi?

Rainfall? Taylor, these people are not
going to come up to me and ask me how's

the weather.

It happens to be 37 inches.

Thank you.

Here's your speech. What speech?

President Nukazi's. Presidents always
make speeches on these occasions.

But I don't. Let that Loromo do it. He
can't. He's gone back to the hospital to

be with the president.

Benson, I realize that I put you in a
terrible position, but we need their

mineral products, and they need our
equipment to help build their country.

now we need you to help make that all
happen. Okay?

Buzz off, Taylor. Okay.

May I come in? It's your office.

Well, yeah, but I don't want to disturb
you.

It's too late for that. I'm plenty
disturbed already.

Come on, you're going to do just fine.

Oh, yes, the way they've got you fixed
up, you could have even fooled me.

That good, huh?

I must say, the resemblance is
remarkable.

Oh, yeah? You really look like him.

Well, there's the handsome devil.

Oh, believe me, Benson, no one will ever
know that they aren't meeting the real

President Ukazi.

Something like that.

Um, it's a special occasion, honey.

Really? What is it? How'd you like to go
to a movie?

Why? What's going on?

Nothing. If you want to get rid of me,
you always send me to a movie. That's

true. Then why can't I stay?

Let her stay here. I'll go to the movie.

I'm not going to any movie.

Okay, then go visit your grandmother.

What movie did you have in mind?

You'll find something.

I'll see you later. Benson,

did you ever think of growing a beard?

No, really?

Good.

Governor, I can't do this.

Oh, come on, come on. Now, what's the
net increase of the gross national

product? Who cares?

It's 7%. You know, Benson, something in
all this reminds me of when I was a kid

and Eleanor Roosevelt came to visit.

She was the president's wife, of course.

Do I have a wife? I'll check.

Oh, but maybe I've told you this
already.

No. Oh, good.

Well, you see, my mother was very active
in the war effort, sewing bed sheets

and one thing or another. So one day
toward the end of 42, well, now, this

have been 43.

Well, it was the same year that Count
Fleet won the derby. Well, that makes

sense. Sir, I think some of the guests
have already arrived.

What guests?

For the reception.

Oh, yeah. Oh, thank you. That's right.

Well, I'm sorry, Benson. I'll just have
to finish this story later. I'll be

looking forward to it.

Benson, this really is a wonderful thing
you're doing. How can I ever thank you?

There'll be a list on your desk in a
moment.

Now, what else do I have to know? You
don't have time for that. We have to get

you out there.

Benson, I know you're not crazy about
doing this, but it is for a good cause.

just relax and don't worry about
anything. I know you're going to do just

I hope.

And just remember, the fate of an entire
nation is riding on your shoulders.

Thanks. That takes the pressure off.

So the two of us boys never did get rich
by going down into that wishing well

and scooping up all the pennies.

See, the problem was it was not only
dark down there. Excuse me, Governor.

Hello, how are you? Nice to see you.

Excuse us.

Go ahead.

What? Introduce the president.

Oh, well, I will. I was just waiting for
somebody to give me the go -ahead. Go

ahead. Oh, fine.

Then I'll go ahead.

Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have
your attention, please, thank you.

As you know, we are honored to have as a
guest a man with whom we've just

completed an extraordinary trade
agreement. A man who has done so much to

stability to a troubled part of the
world, which reminds me of several

but the best of which concerns the time
Eleanor Roosevelt came to visit my

family. Go ahead!

So, without any further ado... It gives
me great pleasure to introduce the

president of Zagmundi, His Excellency,
Haram Utadze.

Wonderful to see you. So glad you came.

Thank you.

Thank you so much. Thank you. As they
say in my country, hello.

President, you look different than you
do on television.

I do?

Yes, you look much younger.

You must have been watching old news.

You know, Governor, this is a splendid
affair.

Whoever runs this house should get a big
raise.

You sure of that?

There's something wrong, isn't there? Uh
-huh. Is that my uh -huh or his uh

-huh? You should see Benson.

Oh, then he's doing all right. All
right. He's got everybody completely

Since they are bigger fools than he is.

Sir, there's a bit of a problem. I knew
it. I could tell from the uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Evidently, there's a fourth assassin and
he's in the area.

What area?

The area of the living room.

How? A guard saw someone running across
the lawn. He went to check and found an

open window. A window? Well, I certainly
hope somebody's looking into it.

When I say I hope somebody's looking
into it, I... We know, Governor, we

What you're saying is somebody out there
is going to try to kill him?

Mr. Governor?

No, Benson.

Oh, that's a relief.

have concluded an excellent trade
agreement with your country. But do you

to apply a tariff?

I don't tell if I do and I don't tell if
I don't.

Mr.

President, how do you find America?

I fly to Mexico and turn right.

I'd like to know, do you like it here?

Oh, yes, I love it here. Yes, it reminds
me of home.

What do you miss most about your
country?

The gross national product, which is 7%,
and the rainfall, which is 37 inches.

Mr. President?

Hello, Governor.

I must say, Mr.

President, you speak English very well.

Oh, thank you so much, and so do you.

Say what?

I thought that meant thank you very much
in your language.

Well, it can mean that, but the way you
have just phrased it, it was an insult

to my mother.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's okay.

I let it go this time.

Mr. Percy?

Hello, Governor.

Excuse me.

Linson, I don't know how to say this,
but there's a man in here who's going to

try to kill you.

I hate to eat and run.

No, no, no.

Wait. I hate myself in the morning. No,
you can't go.

You want to bet?

How? I said that the moment you try to
leave this room, you're a dead man.

Well, in that case, I could stay a
little longer.

Besides, we can't let the others know
there's anything wrong.

You don't think they'll suspect
something when they see me face down in

punch bowl?

Who's the killer? They're trying to find
out.

Tell them to look for the one standing
over my dead body.

Be careful.

There's the thought.

I'd like you to meet Mr.

Stevens. Oh, Mr.

Stevens, so glad you could come.

Mr. Stevens is director of marketing
for...

So

sorry, I dropped my napkin.

Again, uh -huh.

Well? Who?

Oh, no.

What? What?

We know who it is. Well, then go get
him. It's not that easy, sir.

It's Philip Yates.

Oh.

You've heard of him, then?

No.

Real slick operator.

Tough to catch.

He's in the living room. How tough could
it be?

It's difficult to say.

Could you try?

Well, he uses a lot of disguises. Fact
is, in crime circles, he's known as the

man of a thousand faces.

Wonderful. We have a killer with a cute
name.

We have reason to believe Yates has done
jobs as a rabbi, a midget, and once as

a Shetland pony.

I didn't see any of those out there.

Of course, I wasn't looking for the
pony.

saying is that it could be anybody.

Of course, sooner or later he'll tip his
hand. Good. How?

He'll try to kill Benson, and then we've
got him.

I'm not sure Benson's gonna like that
plan.

No, thank you very much.

Ladies and gentlemen, if we could have a
little quiet.

At this time, I would like to ask our
esteemed guest, President Dukasi, to

deliver to us any remarks he feels are
appropriate on this auspicious occasion.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you
President Dukasi.

Excuse me.

Make the speech.

I forgot the speech.

Well, read it from the cards.

That's what I mean. I forgot the cards.

Then make it up. Come on. I'll help you
if you need it.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you
President Dukakis.

Governor Gatling and distinguished
guests.

Governor Gatling and distinguished
guests.

In the short time that I've been here.

In the short... time that I have been
here.

We have discussed many topics of mutual
interest. We have discussed many topics

of mutual interest.

Our most important achievement has been
the agreement for economic cooperation

between your country and my country.

What?

Our most important achievement has been
the agreement for economic cooperation

between your country and my country.

Our most important achievement has been
the agreement for economic cooperation

between your country and my country.

Benson, what's going on? You don't know?

Know what?

There's a hitman in here trying to kill
me.

What? We've got to get you out of here.
No, no, no. We'd better get to the door.

If you'd prefer I didn't smoke, just
ask.

Sorry. We are so pleased with the spirit
of progress that has marked these

proceedings and has resulted in this
agreement.

As my countrymen would say, when the
leopard makes a home in the tall grass,

cancel the picnic.

All you have to do is sign the documents
and you're finished.

If I'm not finished before that.

Mr. President. Yes, yes.

Would you care to sit down? Yes.

It wouldn't sit too close to me.

Let's see. I sign here and you sign
here. Is that right?

That's correct. One copy each and then
you exchange them.

traditional cane dance of my country
here.

And they did it so well, didn't they?

And that concludes our seminar.

Good job, Nasty. Just care to slip out?
After what I've been through, I deserve

a party.

Be a dear boy and fetch me a tumbler of
scotch, will you?

Oh, have we had the pleasure of meeting.

We have, or you'll have to forgive me.
I'm not myself today.

All right, Yates, let's go.

And listen, thanks for your cooperation
on this.

It was not cooperation. You were no help
at all.

You sure it's safe to open this thing?
Of course it is. It's from President

himself.

Solid ivory.

Oh, yes.

Gretchen, I want you to have this.

Oh, Benson, no. It is lovely, but I
cannot.

Yes, you can.

I want you to.

Please.

Well, thank you, Benson.

Thank you.

You saved my life.

Yeah, but this is worth so much more.

Brunson is videotaped for a studio
audience.