Original subtitles

Dude, have you seen that building?

Okay, jumping off of it onto a skateboard is like a death wish.

You think I don't know that?

I've been up all night pounding toast. I even ate Fishbelly's Toast House.

Wow. What can I do?

I told Vin and the director that I'd do it. As your best bro.

Okay, I'm telling you, bail!

Okay? Ugh, I gotta go to the studio. 3J's introduced me to my new rap

Supposed to be a big time hot shot.

Body spray.

Gotta make a good first impression.

What am I gonna do?

What would Tony Hawk do?

Tony, I need your help. Vin Jackman wants me to do this impossible skate

for his movie.

My skating comrade, nothing is impossible.

The jump is almost 100 feet.

Dude, that's impossible. Don't be a bus waxer. Bail. Really?

Listen to Luther.

He is a wise man.

Luke, you're right.

I gotta talk to Ben.

Yeah?

Gotta work the piss.

All right, bro. See you later.

Wait, don't tell me. Dude, you won't believe what happened. Yes, no, maybe.

Don't forget that I'm a genius. Are you crazy? Someone could be listening to us.

Wait, don't tell me. Not again.

Would you just calm down? Is there a problem?

Let's get a pizza.

And then we'll act like nothing ever happened. Calm down. It's only Tuesday.

We'll get a pizza.

And hope that no one overheard us talking. Calm down. Because I'm a

It's only Thursday.

And by tomorrow, we'll have everything just fine.

I'm about to snap that $1 ,000 photo of their chick.

Then I can buy back Vic and Luther's car.

Thanks to my meatloaf camera.

Deliciously clever.

I don't want to disturb you two.

Lovebirds just want to help set the mood with this romantic meatloaf.

Meatloaf? Bro, I'm a vegan.

No meat.

All right, sweetie, I am off to set. Oh, and don't forget about our date

tonight. And it's at Club Tesoro.

And it's at 6.

And nothing.

Wouldn't miss it for the world, babe.

Club de Soro. Six.

Noted.

Hey, Oz. Your car's at the wash! Quit hounding me! Nick!

Hey.

Ben, I need to talk.

Yeah, you got it.

But, hey, I need a favor first.

Take Courtney out on a date for me. Sure, I... Wait, really?

Yeah. I just got the new Possum Zombies game, and you know how it is.

I got to get my possum on.

Just, uh, tell him at a meeting or something.

Sure. I guess.

But, Vin, we gotta talk about this stud.

I'm starting to think it's just... Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I don't like your tone.

And I pick up on that stuff.

I can talk to squirrels.

All I'm saying is the building is really high. Hey, you know what? Yesterday you

were all, go big or go home, bro.

I can't believe this.

I'm starting to think that you're...

As you all know, there's only one way to cross the line with me, and that is to

call me a certain word. And Vin Jackman, famous action superstar, was about to

do just that.

Poser?

Poser? Me?

I am not a poser, Vin Jackman.

And you know what?

You are going to get your stunt, and it's going to be the greatest stunt in

history.

Cool.

Bring it in.

No.

What up, baby?

Can't wait to meet my awesome new rap partner.

Mm -hmm.

Where is he at?

Right here.

What the beans is that? That?

I got a name, chump. It's Chill E. Dog.

3J, this is some kind of joke.

No. Come on, now. He's serious about his music.

That's right. Number one in Sweden, sucker. Where you at? I don't know, bro.

come on, Luther.

Come on, man. He's a pro.

A street street poet.

Now let's get you two in the booth.

Woo!

Better crack a window in that booth. With all that body spray, Red here

like he fell in a bucket of stink.

I tell you, this whole King of Ramps business, not so easy. But at

least it can't get any worse.

What the?

Zeke never forgets to feed the cow -trat. My buns aren't a hunk of cheese.

And Zeke never forgets to close the gate like you did. Now the bikers got in.

Oh,

come on.

Hey,

get out of here. This place is for skaters, not one -willing freaks.

Get out.

What?

Hey, Kojo, I need you to send over the captain. I got to test out a big stunt.

All right, whatever.

Hey, here's a what if for you.

What if a bunch of unicyclists got into ramps? You left the gate open.

No, no, everything's cool.

All right, here's what you did.

Get the gate's phone!

Kojo?

Shoot all the moose coming straight out the pound.

He's a runner, ain't he? I tell him to heal.

I really enjoyed laying

down a record. I mean, we totally had a groove going.

Chili dog's kind of nasty. I mean, I don't pitch my... What?

I had an itch.

Yeah, I should be preparing for the biggest jump of my life, but for some

I'm picking out Ben's fancy -pants girlfriend. What am I going to say to

She's a big celebrity.

I have to admit, though, this one was pretty cool.

Huh. I don't know what this does.

Okay,

okay, okay. Okay.

Who knew you could play dodgeball on a limo?

You're not Ben.

No, I'm not.

I'm sort of filling in for him. He had a meeting.

That's weird.

Right?

Yeah, yeah, that's weird.

Don't worry. The evening is going to be great. We're going to have a lot of fun.

That's the smooch you're really looking for.

Hey, back off, you blood -sucking stab!

Great.

All the annoying photographers are out.

And the award for worst night ever goes to... Tonight!

Yay!

You know what? I have an idea. This night's about to get a whole lot better.

Driver!

now.

Sir?

I will get you at the next stoplight.

This is the best bacon wrap hot dog I've ever had.

Must get picture.

Let me ask you, did Vin really have a meeting or is he at home playing pop and

pop?

Well, in his defense, If we don't kill those possums, we'll all be zombies

I thought so.

Well, hey, I appreciate you taking me out tonight. It's been totally random.

In a good way.

Oh, and hey, good luck on your big stunt tomorrow.

Oh, thanks.

I'll need it.

Oh, you have a little mustard. Yeah.

Oh, bodacious.

Everything's coming up, Ozzie.

Now I can buy back the guy's car.

Squirrels. Oh,

you hung out with Courtney Mills.

It was like a once -in -a -lifetime opportunity.

Well, me? What about you? You just played down tracks with a rapping

Well, things really do happen fast in Hollywood, huh? Totally.

All right, looks like the captain's ready for his test run. Let's do this

the crew shows up.

No! Whoa, no!

Okay, it's like a million feet up. Let's stop.

Don't try to talk me out of this. I already told Vin that I'd do it.

Good luck, Captain.

Three, two, one.

Oh, that was bad.

Oh, that's worse.

You can tell them you're bailing. No. I'm going to tell them to move the ramp

four feet to the left.

Action!

I know what you're thinking.

You have me cornered. But nobody corners.

The Masked Avenger.

And... Cut!

Nailed it.

Hey, can I get a juice box?

Zeke, baby, you're up.

All right, bro, you got this.

Okay.

All right.

Make me look good.

Action! You know, I've gotten myself into a lot of crazy situations.

But this is going to be one I'll never forget.

If I survive.

was sweet, and here are the keys to your car, which was never missing.

Zeke's kissing my girl.

When a guy pulls off a massive skate stunt, he deserves a little treat.

This is what you get for making moves on my girl.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Ben, what's going on?

Oh, no, no, no. It's not what you think. We were not kissing. She was just

wiping some stuff off my chest.

Okay, I swear to you, dang something off of my face. Honey mustard.

Oh, is that your little nickname for her? I'm going to destroy you.

Ben, relax.

Ben,

you all right?

A beautiful movie face.

50 million hits?

Yeah, baby.

You and Chili Doll's rap song is going viral, baby.

Yeah, we going to be bigger than your giant clown feet. At least my ears

made out of carpet.

Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. I got to give you all some good

Jay -Z's opening act just dropped out. And you guys are replacing him on his

world tour.

What? Yes. Hot Chili Ball.

Yes, and we meet tomorrow, baby.

Wow.

Tomorrow, tomorrow?

Yeah. Get ready for your life on the road. I'm telling you, you red hot.

We got to jump on this right away.

Yeah, just like Ugly jumped on your face.

What?

Got your text. What's up?

Zeke, big news.

Sit. Okay.

Actually, too low. Stand.

Better.

Zeke, I want you to star as the masked Avenger.

Me? Wait, Vin is already shooting the movie. Yeah, Vin's injured. You're not.

And we have to finish.

Luckily, until now, he's been wearing the mask in every shot. But tomorrow,

week, we unveil the Avenger's face.

So, you want me to be an actor?

Late decision. I know.

Maybe you need time to think about it. Back at your mansion.

I don't have a mansion.

Yeah, you do. Vince Place.

Studio owns it.

It's yours now.

If you say yes.

I'm just a skater from Gilroy. This is ridiculous.

Ridiculous. The director's lost his mind.

I'll do it. Sweet.

Um, excuse me, Mr.

Director. If you have any parts for a hokey sidekick, I am your man.

All real, all tasty, all yeah.

Zeke never forgets to lock the gate. You need to do something, King Kojo.

All right.

For the last time, I said shoo!

I can take these unidocs!

So you're really leaving.

You're going to go off on a world tour, and I'm going to be making movies.

Well,

it's easier if you take the air out first.

Hey, bro, we gotta make plans to hang out. Skate.

Wow,

big time calendar you got there.

You free the 19th?

Oh, no.

What about next month?

Got me totally bugged.

Thanksgiving.

I can't make that either.

I guess it's gonna be a while.

Until we hang out.

Yeah.

Let me get you. Yeah, cool.

Wait,

I got you something.

Bacon bits.

Your favorite.

Extra chunky.

Thanks, bro.

Quinn, I'm digging this new robo -skater crap.

Do you wood, Kimo Sabe? I've been jotting down a bunch of notes of all the

stunts I want to do on it.

You mean that your stunt guy will do?

Why would I need a stunt guy? I just jumped off of a building.

Yeah, but now you're our big star.

Can't get hurt.

No way. In fact... What are you doing? That's my board. I have nationals

Skating is my life.

Your skating days?

Over.

All the single doggies say, yeah!

And all the single doggies say, yeah.

All the single doggies say, yeah.

Has anyone seen my bacon bits?

Yeah, I saw them.

When I ate them. Those were a gift from my best bro. What kind of gift is bacon

bits anyway?

Your bro sounds like a real pile of stupid.

You don't talk about my best bro like that, okay? Guys, guys, settle down.

You're partners now.

Zip it.

I'm going to zip it. Zip, zip, zip, zip. Knock it off. Zip, zip, zip.

Action.

Masked Avenger, this is so strange.

I feel like I've known you my entire life.

You have, Maria. It's me.

It's me.

This is good. Real good.

This was it.

I took off that mask. From this day forward, I would be known as Zeke

rich and famous hotshot actor.

Was I crazy?

It's not me.

I'm Zeke Falcone, and I'm not an actor.

I'm a skater.

Always will be.

Not good. Not the word. Not the word!

When this town is full of actors, you'll find somebody else.

And, uh, Courtney, if you're ever in Gilroy...

We'll get a bacon, Doc.

I didn't think it was going to end up like this.

Me backing Gilroy without Lou.

But then, maybe that's what growing up is.

Hey, Zeke's here!

What's up?

Good to be back, everyone!

Oh, Zeke! You're back!

Here, take it. Take the crown. I don't want to be king, all right? I got stuck

in the toilet. The bikers came and took my phone, and I got bit by the couch

rat. Relax, Kojo. Everything's going to go back to the way it was.

Except for that, Luther won't be around.

What are you talking about, foolio?

Luther's here.

What?

You're supposed to be on tour.

Yeah, I mean, Chili Dog kind of had some creative differences.

Zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip.

We're back.

You know it, man.

National's coming up. I do believe we have some training to do.

Butter me.

All right, all right. When are you going to realize I'm going to win that?

We'll see about that, Kojo.

Good luck.

So Luther and I have been training nonstop for Nash.

Yeah, so we took a break tonight because we have the preview copy of The Masked

Avenger. All right, fire it up, boys. I got popcorn.

For me, foolio. I can't wait to see who they got to play the lead.

Masked Avenger, this is so strange.

I feel like I've known you my entire life.

You have, Maria. It's me.

It's Dr.

Frank Carter.

Ozzie?

Your dentist.

Oh.

Yeah, I don't know about you guys, but I'm going for a skate. Yeah.

Oh, Kojo, hands off my jerky, man.