Original subtitles

Wow, I can't believe a skate company would just give you a car. And the name

that company is Riot Skates Incorporated.

Sponsored skaters.

It's nice.

Yep.

Even nicer when you sit in it.

Seats four.

One, two, three.

What a quinkity.

Carpooling is so good for the environment.

And, as Junior Miss Gilroy, it's a cause I feel strongly about.

Yeah, yeah, me too.

Super strongly.

So why don't we hop in the car and we can go kick it at Linsicum Beach?

Okay, as you can see, Luther and I are, uh, how should I say, hitting on those

girls. Guilty.

Z's got a thing for, uh, Monica, Junior Miss Gilroy.

I'm a sash man.

See, I like the other one, Bridget. That little birdie just told me that she

dumped her boyfriend, Mike Hicks. Guess I gotta introduce her to the wonderful

world of waffles.

I just broke up with my boyfriend yesterday.

You broke up with Mike?

Yeah.

I had no idea.

Come on, let's hug it out.

You know, I'm not sure I'm ready to start dating again.

Yeah, and I have a pageant next week, so no dating until I win.

Oh, um, dating?

Guys, who said anything about a date?

What? What, a date? Who said date?

Wow, you jerk.

Um, just a couple of nice guys taking a couple of nice girls to the beach.

Okay, let's do it. As long as we carpool.

Luce, to the beach!

Freeze, dirtbags!

Oh, I knew these shorts were against the law.

Wait, don't tell me. Dude, you won't believe what happened. Yes, no, maybe.

Don't forget that I'm a genius. Are you crazy? Someone could be listening to us.

Wait, don't tell me. Not again.

Would you just calm down? Is there a problem?

Let's get a pizza.

We'll act like nothing ever happened. Calm down. It's only Thursday.

We'll get a pizza and hope that no one overhears us talking. Calm down. Because

I'm a genius.

It's only Thursday.

Just as I thought.

Code violation.

His paint job is three shades too glossy.

Dingo, why are you hassling us?

Well, we've gotten a lot of complaints lately about you two and your sweet

little ride.

Could you hurry it up? Because we have ladies waiting.

Oh, I know what you're saying.

If I keep my ma waiting, she paddles my buns.

Don't worry.

You meant ladies for romancing. Yeah.

I totally knew that.

So you're going to give us a ticket or not?

Not. This time I'm throwing the book at you, but I'm going to make it stick,

literally.

How's my driving? Now every concerned citizen has a hotline to police

headquarters.

Jump suit put you up to this?

No. I'm sorry, I can't divulge that information.

You see, when I joined the force, I took an oath. Jerky.

Yeah, yeah.

Jumpsuit put me up to it. Don't say anything.

We've never seen eye to eye with my neighbor Jumpsuit. He's just a mean old

waxer. He's been getting even more bus waxery ever since we got the riot rig.

Jumpsuit thinks putting a stupid bumper sticker on our car is going to spoil our

fun, well... This is my phone number.

Okay, guys. Okay, that'll be Bob. What's up? Who's

the

analyst?

Hello, Department of Driving Safety. This is Officer Phipps. Phipps!

I want to make a complaint about those kids driving that riot skates car.

Oh, absolutely, sir. Where are those two boys also? Oh, I'm sure you are.

Now, is the problem that they're too good looking or just too awesome?

What are you talking about, Phipps?

Phipps!

Phipps!

Ladies, we're going to treat you to whichever donuts you like. Put it on our

tab. Yep.

Gentlemen, you're early.

Eddie, early, early for what?

Our meeting.

It's not for another hour. You totally forgot about the meeting, didn't you?

Come on, Eddie. We didn't forget about the meeting.

Hey, bro, did we forget about the meeting? I told you guys to start

stuff down. I did write it down. Look.

Start writing stuff down.

Guys, Jackson Kuplik, the CEO of Riot Skates, is flying here from Texas to

you.

A meeting?

We had plans.

Yeah, two plans.

So what are we going to do?

Bro, I say we do both.

Really? Both?

Yeah. Eddie, we'll be there. Yeah. Good. And don't be late, because in case you

hadn't noticed, I just had surgery to seal up my sweat glands.

Wow. It strives the bone. Yeah. And my doc says to avoid any and all stress.

Hey, we'll be there. All right? We're not going to let you down.

Good.

Wow, the beach.

Mike never wanted to go to the beach.

Such a Mike move.

Eddie, what's up?

Guess who just walked into Don's?

It's a public.

What? I thought we had an hour. Yeah, I did too, but we don't. He's here now.

Go, lady.

You got a problem rustling up my skaters? No, sir.

You better get over here now.

Don't sweat it.

Quack, quack.

A couple of chairs.

Wait, what?

We have to get back.

Wow, the beach is so beautiful today.

You know, California has 612 miles of pristine beach coastline.

California, my home state.

Wow, I had no idea.

You know, Monica, you won't find this in one of your fact books, but no day at

the beach is complete without lemonade. Right, Luz?

Right, right.

We should go get some. Really, I don't need any lemonade. Look,

I suck a lot of money into this company, cold lady. I'm just not sure I feel so

warm and fuzzy about working with these young fellas.

Oh, no, sir. Zeke and Luther are great. They're very professional young men.

Janine, two lemonades to go, please. Thank you.

So, you must be Mr. Kupflick. It is an honor to meet you, sir.

So, uh, guess we'll be doing some business -y stuff together?

Uh, yeah.

A co -lady and I were just discussing that. Wow.

Luke, you know when you're at one of those really important meetings and

everything is going so great that time just flies?

I sure do, Z. I can't even believe the meeting's already over.

Much love, Mr. C.

You're hilarious.

Ho, you horses, fellas!

Don't scurry off like a couple of spooked armadillos. I thought I would

know you a little better.

In fact, let's do lunch.

Lunch. That sounds great.

We just have to go put more quarters in the parking meter.

Yeah. All right, but hurry back. I got some big news for you fellas.

Just in case I get thirsty on the way to the car.

Sorry about the delay.

Gilroy's all out of lemonade, so we had to drive to Milpitas.

Milpitas, the jewel of the Central Coast.

Did not know that. Here you go.

And mine's empty.

Oh, yeah.

I got a little thirsty on the way.

But I left you a sip.

So, what do you girls want to do?

We could play beach volleyball or build a sandcastle.

Or, you know what is a really cool beach activity?

Getting buried in the sand.

And now what do we do?

Just sit back and enjoy it, honey bun. I think we should take some pictures of

the girls enjoying themselves, but I left the darn camera in the car. I will

BRB. I bet Mike never buried you, right?

Wait!

I'm getting sand in my sack.

Guys, have a seat and enjoy some of these Asian pea poppers with me.

Get her done.

Hold on now.

We're going to do this Asian style with genuine Asian chopper sticks.

So that we can enjoy each and every individual pea, no matter how long it

Okay, so here's the big news. You boys like baseball, right?

Not really.

Yeah. Okay, so tonight, during the seventh inning stretch of the Crappers

you two are going to take a victory lap around the outfield in the Riot Skates

car.

It's Bridget. Go on, you can get that.

No, no, that's probably the wrong number. No, I insist.

I got a rule. We don't hide anything in this company. So, if you get a phone

call, you take it in front of everybody.

Go on, speakerphone it.

Yeah. Hello?

What the heck is going on?

We... What's going on is that we have to go get the ridescape car. Watch for

sidescape!

And you're going to do just fine. You two are the most inconsiderate guys I've

ever met.

Way worse than Mike Hicks? Way worse.

That is low.

Hold on. No, no, hold on. Listen, we're sorry we've been such jerks. You got to

let us make it up to you. We'll take you to the crabbers game tonight.

Yeah, it'll be awesome.

Four of us.

Driving up to the Crabbers game in this door.

Bro.

Somebody stole our car.

We walked nine miles from Lensica Beach. And why?

Because our car was stolen.

I left my shoes in the car, and my feet are sensitive.

The riot rig's been stolen, and we have to make an appearance at the... crabbers

game in three hours oh i got an idea stall stall yeah i like it buy

more time not like hide out in a bathroom stall until this whole thing

over stolen cars don't just blow over you have to tell it

my guys i got your text i don't know why

but mr cuplick loves you which means he loves me which means i love you that's

great eddie yeah Life is great for Eddie Colletti right now, and I don't want to

jinx it, but it looks like my sweat seals are holding up. I haven't sweat a

in 12 hours.

Eddie, we got to tell you something, and you're not going to like it. What? Why?

Please don't stress me. He's going to stress me, isn't he?

The thing is... There's Team Couplet.

Get your pigs in a poke, boys, because we're going to town.

You're not going to believe this, but we're expecting like five zillion people

at the Crabbers game tonight.

And before it skips my mind, be sure and park the ride -skates car out front

where everybody can see it. It's a real eye -catcher.

Oh, sir, the thing about the car is... The car?

No, not the car.

Oh, no. I think I'm springing a leak.

Oh, whoa! Oh!

Doggone it, Coletta! Get control of yourself!

You're sweating at me.

Now, what's this about the car?

It's been stolen, sir.

Stolen? Uh, the car is insured, sir, and I can file a police report, but you

have every right to be upset.

Upset? You're darn tootin' I'm upset. I'm real upset.

No, uh, listen.

That's cold, laddie.

I am madder than a toad in a hot skillet. And when I get mad, I fire

Mr. Complex, sir, we're really sorry.

Yeah, please don't fire us. Oh, I'm not gonna fire you boys. I'm gonna fire him.

He fired Eddie.

Was he Eddie Coletti?

Our first gay rep?

I'm never going to forget him.

Me neither.

So we put together a mushy tribute.

Would you roll the mushy tribute, please?

I can't believe I'm never going to see that sweaty lug again.

Luke, it can't end like this.

Eddie's more than our manager.

He's our friend.

We have to find a way to convince Mr. Kublik to give Eddie his job back.

Okay, how about this?

We find the riot rig, we steal it back, we get to the Crabbers game, and Mr.

Kublik gets so happy that he hires Eddie back.

I like it.

But we don't know who the bus waxer is that stole our car.

Luke, think.

Who is the biggest bus waxer?

We know.

My kicks.

I'm talking about a certain astronaut who hates us.

And it's time for Crabbers Baseball.

I'm Trevor Flapp, and today's game is brought to you by Riot Skates.

I know we're all looking forward to that cool Riot Skates car taking a lap

during the seventh inning stretch.

That's a nice -looking porterhouse steak you got there, Luce.

Thanks, bro.

Think I should turn the porterhouse steak over?

Yeah, why don't you cook the other side for a while?

I think an astronaut just entered our orbit.

Why don't you let that porterhouse steak stay on the coals for a little while

longer? You know how I like them burnt.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You don't treat a porterhouse like that.

Take this pig off the grill.

As soon as you tell us where our car is.

I don't know where your dang car is.

Mr. Johnson, you've wanted it gone since we got it. Now tell us where it is or

the state gets it.

Okay, okay, okay, I'll tell you everything. Just please stop burning

beautiful piece of beef.

Hey, look, I admit, I had your car towed. What?

It was parked in a red zone.

No, it wasn't.

Your car wasn't stolen. It's sitting down at the city tow yard right now.

He's giving me a mistake.

Let's roll.

Come to papa.

There it is. Dinkle,

that's him.

Sorry, boys. I'm off the clock.

And this time you're not going to be able to buy me off with a piece of

Toofy. That'll work.

All right. I'm looking the other way.

This didn't happen. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, tickle the queen.

Wait, huh?

I think it means we can go in.

Uh,

Dingle, what is that?

Oh, that's Molly, the guard ostrich.

Be careful. She's a feisty one.

Lock up when you're done.

Bro, I don't know about this.

I got it covered. Hey, you go fire up the rig.

Ostriches dig me.

Eric Royster stepping to the plate.

You know, the crowd seems a little down because that darn Riot skate car has yet

to make an appearance.

Peanuts. Get your peanuts. Who wants peanuts? All right.

Now batting, number 10, Eric Royster.

Royster steps to the plate.

First pitch, he sends to a straightaway center.

The Mennies should have this for out number three.

Oh, wait.

It's the Riot skate car.

This is trouble for the Crabbers.

Two runs are going to score.

Wubbles makes the catch.

Holy Toledo, the Crabbers win.

Now that's what I call baseball.

Riot Gates made the appearance of a lifetime.

And we hung around after the game and passed out some gear.

Mr. Kupflick was glad to see us.

But nobody was happier than Eddie.

Because Mr. Kupflick gave him his job back.

Don't you love it when stuff gets wrapped up like that?

So, the moral of the story is, don't date girls that are attractive.

Okay? Because attractive girls will... No, no, no, no, no, Luke. The moral of

the story is, do your job and then do other fun stuff or your manager could

fired. That's good, bro. I gotta write that down in my journal.

Oh, from now on, I'm writing down everything.

Fun facts, tidbits, messages, recipes, baseball statistics, galaxies, sock

sizes, monkeys per capita, how long I can hold my breath, Zodiac Signs,

underwear.

Bridget, Monica, we know we messed up bad. You gotta let us make it up to you.

This isn't so bad.

Yeah, this is nothing.

Molly?