Original subtitles

I know. You're wondering, where are the skateboards? What's up with the funky

PJs? Well, Luke and I are working on our martial arts skills because we just got

a huge career break.

Oh, huge chanting. See, there's this series that's been on TV forever called

Skate Troopers. And the great news is that their two stars just got into a

horrible accident.

They broke their legs.

Oh, yeah.

Troopers rule.

So our right skate rep, Eddie Colletti, pulled some strings. While those guys

are out of commission, guess who's going to be the stars of Skate Troopers?

Oh, I'll guess.

It doesn't really count, you say.

What? It wasn't really a guess. It still counts.

State troopers.

Look, I've seen every episode and memorized three of them. I'm even a

the Secret Brotherhood of Cork.

Yes, you could say I'm a fan.

I even have a rub -on trooper tattoo from three years ago.

Still haven't even washed my arm.

Yeah.

This is a major opportunity for us. That's why Luther and I are getting into

shape so we can kick some major alien butt.

This guy's got some crazy moves.

Wait, don't tell me, dude, you won't believe what happened. Yes, no, maybe.

Don't forget that I'm a genius. Are you crazy? Someone could be listening to us.

Wait, don't tell me, not again.

Would you just calm down? Is there a problem?

Let's get a pizza.

We'll act like nothing ever happened. Calm down. It's only Tuesday.

We'll get a pizza and hope that no one will hurt us. Calm down. Because I'm a

genius. It's only Thursday.

And by tomorrow, we'll...

Hold it.

Yeah, I don't know about this costume. I'm not much of a tights guy.

Oh, trust me, okay? You'll be fine.

Kind of digging the tights?

Ah, my two new troopers.

Wesley Mandrake, the creator of State Troopers?

I also.

Directly also direct.

Mr. Mandrake, I just have to say that we're so happy you decided to take a

chance on us, and we are going to give you 100%. Yeah, you, sir, you're a

genius. Oh, I don't know about that.

Maybe. Yeah.

I just wanted to welcome you to our little corner of the universe.

Let me give you a rundown of the first scene.

It's with the door lock.

Door lock.

This is the door lock.

Trooper's arch enemy.

All you need to know about these guys is they're walking evil.

Need proof?

I am walking evil.

Told you.

So you've located the door locks in visible planets. Planet Clackalack in

Gamboo Galaxy?

Spoken like an intergalactic frequent flyer. So you're pursuing the door locks

using ocular data as a tracking mechanism while you power toward their

signal.

So for those of us who only speak English, does that mean you want us to

after the bad guys?

You know.

Bro, okay, we're chasing after the bad guys. All right, look, I'm sorry about

friend

There's

a back heaven we found it I want a doughnut kebab Yeah,

nothing to make this day no

Relax, Luke. It's a TV show. Everything is fake.

Hey, uh, I'm Zeke. This is Luther, and we're, uh, we're filling in for the

trippers. Sup?

Just updating my status online.

My fans like to know everything about me.

About to eat the last prune Danish.

Send.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Prune Danish are for door locks.

Well, not anymore.

New trooper, new rule.

All right, fellas.

That's enough for both of you. Put that up there, Will.

Bro, what was all that about?

Uh, the total door lock move.

No, I'm not talking about him.

This is a huge break for us, and you're getting all up in the guy's face.

He just disrespected a skate trooper. Okay, I'm not going to let that fly.

But every time you get in your skate trooper crazy fan mode, I always have to

bail you out.

When has that ever happened?

Cool. I got the purple trooper.

Hey, I want the purple trooper.

Give you two blues for it? No, thanks.

I wasn't asking you.

Give me a trooper. Give me a trooper.

Oh, Luke, Luke, they're causing a scene. No, I'm not causing a scene, okay?

She's causing a scene.

Just chill out for me, will you?

I'm cool.

Relax.

Zeke and Luther, to the set, please.

Oh, who's this?

Rachel.

It's the galactic Zabon Rainforest. Okay, guys.

You know the back story. The troopers have been on an intergalactic search for

the door locks for ten years.

You finally caught up with them on the planet Zabon.

Ready? Affirmative.

Who's that?

That's Jace, the mega lizard. Leader of the reptile nation.

Snowy's bad news.

Space Force, bro. This is awesome. All right, now. Remember, you're furious.

It intrigued.

And a little perplexed. Also angry and curious. And action!

Fellow

door

line. Let us break for Zabon water and crackers.

The skate troopers will never find us near this space tree.

How wrong you are, Zorn, leader of the door locks. This will be your last

cracker. We're trapped against this space tree.

And cut.

Nice job, everybody. We'll pick up the fight scene after lunch.

Trapped?

How does it feel to be trapped?

Does it feel trapped?

It feels like I'm listening to a doofus.

Me? Read your script, trooper boy.

Oh, no.

The door locks win?

Door locks never win.

Guess they're just mixing it up.

Are you even listening?

There are certain things in life you can count on.

Okay, the sun's gonna come up in the morning, bacon bits are good on

and the door locks never win.

Okay, it's a known fact. Look it up.

No, this is not right.

Okay, roll cameras.

Helmets back on.

You're cautiously bold and also a little hungry and mad. Fight!

What the?

Trooper, kneel before me and kiss the foot of a door lock.

I repeat, kiss the foot of a door lock.

What worried me was the look on Luther's face.

I'd seen it before.

His butt was about to write a check, and I was going to have to pay the piper.

It's a phrase. Look it up.

Do you not understand me, you dim -witted trooper? Kiss my foot!

I'll kiss your feet when Planet Zebulon freezes over!

on the script.

I know, but I got him. Oh, I got him good. I got him good. Just chill. The

director's coming.

Wesley, would you please tell that nutcake to play it the way it's written?

door locks were supposed to win for the first time ever.

Luther, he's right.

These scripts are crafted with enormous attention to detail.

I'm the one that created these boopers. Oh, that's a typo.

Look, my bro here, he can get a little carried away.

Wesley?

Sir? Kids have loved your show for 23 years because of one reason.

Skate troopers always win.

Always.

Why?

Because you made it that way. And you, sir, you're a certified genius.

You make a very good point.

Let's keep it. Moving on.

You said moving on.

Okay. Maybe I got a little carried away.

A little?

Bro, you went completely bonkers out there. Just because Zorn plays a bad guy

TV doesn't mean he's a bad guy in real life.

Nailed Dwayne with pretty beverage.

Refreshing.

So he's a good guy, huh?

No, you're not.

Well, Sticky... Bro, you're not getting revenge. We're going to get you guys

together, and we're going to end this.

Okay.

I need you guys to relax and take a nice, deep breath.

Good.

You guys got off on the wrong foot, obviously.

But if you keep getting back at each other, it's going to go on forever, and

not going to let that happen.

You know, you're right, bro.

Okay, I've been thinking about the situation a lot, and, uh, you know,

clearly the bigger man, I, uh, I've been doing a special gift.

My favorite.

Nice prune Danish.

You did?

Yeah, yeah.

There you go, bro.

That's some nice piece making, bro.

So about that prune, Danny. I made it with a secret ingredient.

Prune!

The Guatemalan devil prune.

It's like the strongest prune on the internet.

And I qualified for free shipping.

Oh yeah, let's let our door lock buddy have it.

Wow.

Thanks.

Just given a Danish.

Touched.

I'm friending you both.

Take it.

Eat into that.

I can really taste the prune.

Yeah.

You don't like my cooking?

The Guatemalan devil fruit. Come on, bro. You gotta love it.

Tell me you didn't.

Bro, we're here to do a job.

What you just did to Zorn, I... I don't know either.

Butter denied?

In all the years I've known this guy, my butter has never been denied.

Never. Okay, it's always been butter accepted.

Always.

Not a good day, guys.

Not a good day.

Seems one of our door locks has a little tummy trouble and I'm going to have to

cancel today. Shoot, it's going to make us go way over budget. Not a good day.

Not a good day.

Don't give me that look.

What look?

Oh, Luther messed everything up. Oh, I gotta fix it.

Oh, I got perfect hair.

Zorn, on behalf of my friend Luke, I just want to apologize. Prune Danish?

Classic. You got me good. Well played.

What? Hey, that's the kind of fun horseplay actors like to have on set.

Oh, oh, um...

Everything worked out. What do you know?

All right.

Everything did not work out. And I'm going to kick your butt to another

dimension.

You, me, mano a mano at Don's. Tonight, midnight.

And this isn't going to be a fight between a skate trooper and a door lock.

This is between Luther Waffles and Phil Wozniak.

Wait, who's Phil Wozniak?

Me, you numbskull?

Oh, no!

He said the fight's gonna be mano a mano. I looked it up, and it means just

and him.

I also looked up buenos dias, and it means good morning.

Point is, that I gotta do this without Zeke.

Hey, Simone.

Can I get a glazed donut with a power boost, please?

I'm gonna need it.

Drop the donut, Waffle!

So, uh, so you brought your fellow door lock.

Jinx, I could...

Barely recognize you with the hat.

Me and my friends are here to teach you a little lesson.

It's three against one.

Ain't that a shame?

You know, it's kind of weird how it all worked out. Even though Luther Prune

bombed him, Zorn was totally cool about it.

Oh yeah, Zorn friended me so I automatically get his updates.

At dawns, ambush is on, trooper going down.

Oh, no.

Someone's going after Luther.

Oh! Oh, warning! I threw it easily!

Let him go!

Oh, fuck, fuck. They're here.

Yeah, three against one?

That's a door -locking move.

Troopers attack!

I'm going to eat you to breakfast.

Need any help, bro?

Oh, I got him.

Hey, that's not fair.

My best bro had the guy right where he wanted him.

But sometimes, life surprises you when you least expect it.

You're a member of the secret brotherhood of Gork? You know about the

brotherhood?

They say that when the pendants were created, each one had a single match.

The two who wear them will be bonded together as brothers forever.

You don't suppose?

guess it's not us it's cool you had one well it

just goes to show you whether you're a trooper a door

lock or six foot space lizard you can all hang out what are you doing big head

alien tables over there well it's all

about baby steps

I brought the cup.

Yeah, uh, I have a better offer.

Instead of giving you two blues for your purple cup, I'll trade you three greens

and a yellow.

No, thanks.

You're taking the train!

Oh, oh, you know karate?

Yeah? Well, bring it on!

Because I was a skate trooper for two weeks, all right? And I fought a lot of

door locks!

Wow.

You were a skate trooper?

Yeah, I know.

I've got a deal.

Oh.

Cool.

Nice doing business with you, Mr. Luther.