Original subtitles

Are you awake?

Huh?

Good, you're awake.

Look, I can't sleep, all right? We have to do the bro list.

The bro -let?

What's going on?

My turtle died.

Cancer land of the third.

Yeah. Sorry about that, bro.

It was so sudden, okay? He just ate a pine cone and then he was gone. I mean,

could happen to me or you.

I don't eat pine cones. Yeah, but I do, okay?

Look, life is short, all right? What if one of us were gone tomorrow? We would

never get a chance to do the things we wanted to do.

Right? I see your point.

Ever since Luke and I became friends, we've been keeping a list of all the

awesome challenges that we just had to do in our lifetime.

Got your key?

Oh, yeah.

Don't tell me, dude, you won't believe what happened. Yes, no, maybe. Don't

forget that I'm a genius. Are you crazy? Someone could be listening to us. Wait,

don't tell me, not again.

Would you just calm down? Is there a problem?

Let's get a pizza, and then we'll act like nothing ever happened. Calm down,

it's only Tuesday.

We'll get a pizza, and hope that no one overheard us talking. Calm down, cause

I'm a genius.

It's only Thursday, and by tomorrow we'll...

Since Luther's favorite turtle kicked the bucket, it got us thinking that we

should do the bro lift. Yeah, it's a list of challenges that we wanted to do

together in our lifetime.

We better get started.

What's up first, Luth?

Attack the dohim.

There it is, bro.

Shimmering with soy powder goodness.

We only have one hour to chew through this bad boy, and if we do, we get one

those.

Luth, go!

Hey, I'm headed to the beach. Wanna borrow your surfboard?

You don't surf. I know.

But I got my new surfboard, Kojo, look.

Bam!

And it works so much better with the surfboard.

Look, Kojo, every time I let you borrow something, you bring it back broken.

Okay? Like my bike.

Kojo!

Kojo is not going to let you borrow it. Now, if you don't mind, we have 12

pounds of soy to party with.

Luther, time.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5,

4, 3, 2, 1.

Here's our certificate for eating the doe hemoth. An outstanding achievement

American heroism. Congratulations, Luther Waffles and the...

I hate it when they refer to me as Jesse. It's like no one knows my last

Yeah, that's weird.

Isn't it weird? No one knows my last name. You got some lint. So do you.

That sort of tickles.

Wow. Just when I thought you guys couldn't get any weirder.

Yeah, well, we showed you, didn't we?

Losers.

She is such a meanie!

Hey, Luce, calm down. Don't get mad. Get even.

Check out number two on the list, the Helsinki holdup.

You think we can do it?

Only one way to find out.

Oh, what do we have here?

The old zapping 20 spot.

Come on, guys.

No candy of any much.

You know, I think doing the bro list has really gotten your mind off of

Terrence. Who?

Let me down, you hand grabbers!

Uh, Terrence, you're dead turtle. Ah, bro, come on. Rest in peace. Let's get

back to the list.

What's next?

Skydive.

Okay, Luke's desire to get our bro list done was a little weird, but who cares?

He's my best friend in the whole world and always will be.

So for the next couple of days, we did all the crazy, whacked -out stuff we

promised each other we'd do someday.

Well, that someday was now.

That was a blast. I didn't know cows ran that fast.

All right, so what's next?

Oh,

we could do five, seven, and ten, meet Tony Hawk, take a picture with Tony

and skate with Tony Hawk. Yeah, but that's the world's greatest skater. How

we going to get to him?

Makes a good point. Yeah, something easier. Okay.

Bro, you're going to love this one because it's all yours.

Get a kiss from Holly Hendricks.

Get him ready.

That's my toothbrush.

No, sorry. It's okay.

Luther's had a crush on Holly Hendricks since she moved here.

Even though he sees her all the time, she still won't give him the time of

Then that kiss wasn't going to be easy.

Fortunately, we came up with a genius plan.

Help! Help!

Holly, I need your help. Luther here was bitten by a giant snake on the lips,

and someone has got to suck out the venom. Oh, my gosh, I can't. I'm

snakes. Did I say snake? I meant a giant spider. Yeah, a really big spider. Now

I need your help.

Okay, okay, what do I do?

Okay, got it.

You smell like a candle.

You tricked me?

Little did we know, beautiful Holly Hendricks was also a black belt in jiu

-jitsu.

Okay,

so

what's next, bro?

Uh, Luke, you sure you don't want to take a breather?

Oh, no, no, no, we gotta keep going. We don't know how long we got.

Because of Terrence.

Yeah, but I don't think your turtle would mind if we took a break. No,

would want us to finish the list, okay? This is a huge deal, all right? You

don't understand.

Huge!

Okay, that was weird even for Luther.

I think there's something going on with him.

And sometimes it's better to find these things out undercover.

Okay, that's weird.

No, not that. Sunday's always bacon -drying day.

That.

Hey, bro, what's up?

Luth, why is Taryn still alive?

It's a miracle, hey?

Hey, buddy.

Luth, what's going on?

Nothing, nothing.

Luth, you're either going to tell me or it's going to be atomic leg -bender

time. Nothing's going on, bro.

Okay.

Oh, okay, all right. Oh, okay, okay, all right, all right.

I'm moving.

Moving?

Yeah, bro, my parents bought a house in Topeka.

Topeka, that's in Kansas or something.

Look, I'm sorry I lied about Terrence. I just didn't know how to tell you, bro.

so it's for sure you're moving to topeka yeah that's why i was in such a rush to

do the bro list moving trucks come tomorrow wow so this is our last day

that's why i didn't want to tell you bro okay because you know i get all

emotional and i know you're johnny tough guy never cried a day in your life but

but i'm not i'm not like that bro

Knock it off. We can't sit around crying about this.

No, we don't have that much time.

Now, I say that we grab some bacon for the road, go find Tony Hawk, and make

this the best day ever.

Okay?

Best day ever.

Okay. Tony's blog says he's spending the weekend in California fishing.

For swamp bass, no doubt.

Tony loves swamp bass.

Favorite fish?

Swamp bass.

Favorite donut?

Blueberry. Favorite... No, wait.

Where's the best swamp bass fishing in the state?

Oh, the Gilroy Swamp. Wait, wait, you think I'll be there?

Let's gear up and find out.

So, after I move, we'll keep in touch, right?

Yeah, we can call, email, text.

Can I write you a letter?

Sure, an old -fashioned letter. I like it. So, on the envelope, I'll just put

your address and your full name.

You know how you meet someone, and you forget their last name, and you're too

embarrassed to ask for it again, and a day goes by, and a week, and 12 years?

Yeah, you gotta put the last name on there. The last name's everything.

Of course.

Bro, please, for the last time, let me borrow your surfboard.

Kojo, you're not gonna borrow any of my stuff, okay? All you do is break it.

So you probably don't want your snow globe back anymore.

Yeah, I know.

Come on, man. Don't make me do my sad eyes. I'll do it.

Okay, look, fine. You can borrow my surfboard, okay?

But not until next week.

Ha -ha! Knew it! No one can resist Coach Joe's sad eyes. Later, foolios!

Watch it!

Nice going, man.

Little does he know, next week I'll be long gone.

Thousands of miles away.

No, no, no, no. No more crying.

Now, come on. Let's go camping, Mr. Luther Waffles. All right, Mr.

Zeke.

Camping, buddy.

Here, Tony, Tony, Tony.

Here, Tony, Tony. Luther's not a beagle.

Mr. Hawk, your attention, please.

Whoa.

Danger. Psycho Scout area. Proceed with caution.

Psycho Scout?

Don't worry, bro. The Psycho Scout's just an old legend.

Bro, the sign is right there, okay? That thing is real.

Right.

Legend of the Psycho Scout goes like this.

A couple years ago on a camping trip, some older kids pushed a Junior Scout

a enormous patch of poison ivy. Poor little Junior Scout got poison ivy so

his face fell off.

He's still out there, okay? And he is not happy.

It just makes me want to itch.

Okay, Tony's here. He's at the marsh.

If we hit it now, we can get there before it gets too dark.

Let's go.

What?

Sorry, it's just a premature freakout. I'm fine.

Now just hang the donut on the branch.

That's good.

struck a genius luth using a blueberry donut to lure tony over yeah we're gonna

catch us a tony luth the blueberry donut is gone what

did you hear something

So this is it, bro?

We're goners? No, Luthor, we're gonna be fine.

I think.

Look, I have a confession to make.

Okay, I... I don't know your last name.

What? Look, I feel like such a jerkhead, okay? I've been meaning to tell you,

but I've just been too embarrassed to ask you, okay?

It's okay, Luthor. It's Falcone.

Zeke Falcone.

I like it.

Thanks.

Okay,

well, since we're making confessions, I got a biggie.

You know how you say I never cry?

Yeah.

Well, remember when we were watching that movie about the dog that ran away?

Yeah. Well, I was bawling so hard that I had to give myself a charley horse just

to stop.

A charley horse? heartly horse to stop crying? Yeah.

All you gotta do is pound your leg like this.

Wait,

did you hear that?

I think I just heard a branch crack.

Oh yeah,

baby.

Glad you think this is funny.

Hey, I heard this picknipper was moving, and I had to get in my last lick.

I don't know, Luth. It was dumb to think Tony was even out here.

Man, our Tony dreams are crushed, okay? Wait, is he a tall guy, sandy hair, nut

full of swamp bath?

Yeah, that's him.

Sorry, I scared him out of the woods a few hours ago.

Well, we didn't complete the burlap, but at least we can say we gave it our best

shot.

Hey, can I get a napkin?

Can I get a clean one?

Jeez, princess.

Tony. Hock!

Oh, my God. Size 13 shoes.

You love swamp ass, right?

Wow, not many people know I love swamp ass.

Look, it's exactly him. Come on, turn on the eye.

Would you knock that off?

Mr. Hock, we are...

Huge fan.

Huge. Oh, wow.

Oh, he's real.

All right.

Okay. I guess we could go sit down in the booth if you guys want. I got some

time. As long as you're wearing Gilroy, Tony, your feet will not touch the

ground. Right, Luke?

Yeah.

Weird.

So I was walking through the woods and smelling this blueberry donut, and then

saw this creepy scout wandering around, and then I just failed.

Sorry about that. That was my creepy little sister.

Wow. Okay.

So, when do you leave, Luz?

A few hours, Tony.

Well,

you know what I always say. Nothing beats good friends and a good skate

So, you guys want to hit it?

So, my last day with Luther was ending in the best way possible.

Spending a couple of hours with the greatest man alive.

When we slow buttered Tony, it was the best moment of our lives.

Followed by the worst moment of our lives.

We had to say goodbye.

Hey, bro.

My mom made you a family from going away, snacking, cooking.

Yeah.

Okay, bro.

Seriously?

You can have it. Oh, let's get on the hook, bud. Okay.

Bro, you ever want it back, you let me know. No need.

No surfing in Topeka can't.

Look, just take good care of it.

You're a wonderful dude.

So this is it?

No, I'll write you.

I'll... Text you, email you.

I'll call you. I know you will. Look on the bright side of it. We finished the

bro list. That's what's important here.

I'm going to miss you too, bro.

Take care, Luther Waffle.

Sure thing, Zeke.

Zeke.

Falcone.

Right. I knew that.

Look, what's going on? My mom said Topeka, and I just thought Topeka,

Look!

Wait, you're not moving to Kansas? No, I'm moving right there!

Bro, how did you not know that?

Oops.

Hey, Kojo!

Give me back my surfboard!

Kojo?