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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:55,000 My dear doctors, it is indeed a pleasure to welcome you here for the beginning 2 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,000 of your practice. 3 00:00:56,180 --> 00:01:00,400 This letter states that in this group there are three of you who are not 4 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:05,740 bright, but were graduated because you had been in the senior class too many 5 00:01:05,740 --> 00:01:06,740 years. 6 00:01:07,020 --> 00:01:13,320 Your identity I shall keep secret and will disclose to no one on one 7 00:01:13,460 --> 00:01:18,900 that you try hard and forever devote your lives to the glorious cause of duty 8 00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:20,260 and humanity. 9 00:01:20,910 --> 00:01:21,908 We will. 10 00:01:21,910 --> 00:01:24,350 Hello, Doc. How are you? Glad to see you again. 11 00:01:24,550 --> 00:01:25,550 Spread out. 12 00:01:25,870 --> 00:01:29,690 Do you hereby solemnly swear to devote the rest of your lives to the cause of 13 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:30,970 duty and humanity? 14 00:01:31,250 --> 00:01:32,830 For duty and humanity. 15 00:01:33,830 --> 00:01:38,550 And remember, when you hear your call come over the loudspeaker, rush 16 00:01:38,550 --> 00:01:43,470 immediately to answer, as seconds mean lives. Yes, sir. 17 00:01:43,710 --> 00:01:44,509 Calling Dr. 18 00:01:44,510 --> 00:01:46,110 Howard. Dr. Fine. Dr. 19 00:01:46,330 --> 00:01:47,330 Howard. 20 00:01:47,510 --> 00:01:48,408 Calling Dr. 21 00:01:48,410 --> 00:01:49,309 Howard. Dr. 22 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:50,310 Fine. 23 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:13,580 66, 72, 83. 24 00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:15,100 66, 25 00:02:15,860 --> 00:02:16,900 72, 83. 26 00:02:17,740 --> 00:02:21,160 On track 13, all aboard for Philadelphia, Chicago, and points west. 27 00:02:21,700 --> 00:02:25,380 Emergency call. Emergency call. 66, 72, 83. 28 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:26,840 Pulling off! Pulling off! 29 00:02:44,650 --> 00:02:45,650 I want to talk to you. 30 00:02:47,830 --> 00:02:48,830 Open your mouth. 31 00:02:50,130 --> 00:02:51,130 What's your name? 32 00:02:51,290 --> 00:02:52,830 Anaconda. Anaconda what? 33 00:02:53,110 --> 00:02:55,030 You know, just Anaconda. 34 00:02:55,390 --> 00:02:56,450 Anaconda. Anaconda. 35 00:02:57,330 --> 00:02:58,450 Anaconda, 95 and an eight. 36 00:02:58,690 --> 00:03:01,490 Anaconda, 95 and an eight. That's awfully low, doctor. 37 00:03:01,730 --> 00:03:02,730 Yeah, we ought to sell. 38 00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:29,060 Did you ever see an apple with a skin on the inside? 39 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:30,980 Oh, sure I did. 40 00:04:31,820 --> 00:04:32,820 You did? 41 00:04:33,260 --> 00:04:34,540 Uh -huh. Where? 42 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,460 Didn't you send for us? Yes. 43 00:05:09,180 --> 00:05:10,700 How'd you find that patient in 66? 44 00:05:11,220 --> 00:05:12,220 Under the bed. 45 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,040 How'd you find the patient in 72? 46 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:15,560 Up on a sand lid. 47 00:05:15,860 --> 00:05:18,020 What'd you do for him? Nothing. What'd he ever do for us? 48 00:05:18,940 --> 00:05:20,300 What are you working here for? 49 00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:21,860 For duty and humanity. 50 00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:24,039 Calling Dr. 51 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:25,360 Howard. Dr. Fine. Dr. 52 00:05:25,620 --> 00:05:26,620 Howard. 53 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,460 Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard. 54 00:06:02,420 --> 00:06:05,440 What? There is a messenger boy down in the lobby to see you. 55 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:06,759 Send him up. 56 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:07,760 Here I am. 57 00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:09,100 What service? 58 00:06:09,260 --> 00:06:10,260 Give us a message. 59 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,300 Can't. Seventy -five cents. 60 00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:13,980 Collect. Who's it from? 61 00:06:14,260 --> 00:06:16,060 It's from a dame by the name of Nellie. 62 00:06:16,580 --> 00:06:17,660 My girl. 63 00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:21,780 What does she say? 64 00:06:22,180 --> 00:06:23,880 She says she loves all three. 65 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:28,420 But she'll marry the one that does the greatest thing for duty and humanity. 66 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,740 Thanks. Hey, how's about my money? 67 00:06:32,180 --> 00:06:35,360 I'll tell you. We'll toss for it. Pay a double or nothing. Yeah, he'll call it 68 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,360 because he's sun -tied. 69 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:37,600 That'll make it easier. 70 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,780 Have you got a coin? 71 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,400 Yeah. 72 00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:45,560 That'll really make it easier. 73 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:48,240 What is it? Head or tail? 74 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:49,520 None. 75 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:52,180 What? None. 76 00:06:52,860 --> 00:06:53,860 Is that it? 77 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:58,300 Certainly. Oh, then you lose. We'll split this relay, sir. You telling me? 78 00:06:58,520 --> 00:06:59,520 Just a victim of circumstance. 79 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:13,240 How is she, doctor? 80 00:07:13,860 --> 00:07:15,180 A slight hope. 81 00:07:15,420 --> 00:07:16,860 That's too bad. What's the matter? 82 00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:18,580 She's in a coma. 83 00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:25,380 The joint is haunted. 84 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:27,940 How old are you? 85 00:07:28,260 --> 00:07:29,260 I'm 35. 86 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,800 Nah, you couldn't get that fresh in 35 years. Lay down. 87 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,660 Give me that thing there. 88 00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:43,700 Can't live till morning. 89 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,940 Just a minute. Just a minute. 90 00:07:52,380 --> 00:07:53,900 What do you gentlemen know about medicine? 91 00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:56,980 Why, we graduate with the highest temperatures in our class. 92 00:07:57,340 --> 00:07:58,340 Some class. 93 00:07:58,660 --> 00:08:00,000 You said it, kid. Some class. 94 00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:02,260 What are you trying to do? 95 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:06,940 Why, you don't even know how to deliver a proper anesthetic. 96 00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:10,260 Boys, give the doctor a little anesthesia. 97 00:08:20,940 --> 00:08:22,700 I'm very sorry, but I'm afraid you are. 98 00:08:22,940 --> 00:08:27,900 Oh, thanks, Doctor. You don't know how I really appreciate it. Doctor, we're 99 00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:29,020 mighty proud of you. 100 00:08:29,220 --> 00:08:31,260 You've done a wonderful thing for humanity. 101 00:08:31,780 --> 00:08:36,000 And when we leave here, we're going right down to the President's office, 102 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,260 won't say a word about it. 103 00:08:38,460 --> 00:08:40,700 Yeah. What's the matter? What are you butting in for? 104 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:53,280 Remember our oath for duty and humanity. 105 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:56,480 Get going. 106 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:12,460 Right away. Colonel, did you call us? 107 00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:14,700 Yes, and just another thing. 108 00:09:20,970 --> 00:09:22,510 that body go out on 84 until the bill is paid. 109 00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:23,770 I ain't got nobody. 110 00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:24,930 Yes, it's in 84. 111 00:09:24,990 --> 00:09:26,010 Yes. Hello. Yes. 112 00:09:26,410 --> 00:09:28,850 Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. 113 00:09:30,550 --> 00:09:31,550 Line's busy. 114 00:09:32,450 --> 00:09:34,090 Say, there's nobody on your line. 115 00:09:34,330 --> 00:09:35,830 I know, but I'm expecting a call. 116 00:09:36,090 --> 00:09:37,090 Just a minute. 117 00:09:37,990 --> 00:09:40,390 Go to room 81. There's a dangerous patient there. Hurry. 118 00:09:42,050 --> 00:09:43,790 Hurry. Don't get nervous. 119 00:09:44,090 --> 00:09:45,190 The patient ain't going no place. 120 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,540 That is the momentous question. 121 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:27,200 I once asked Hamlet, and he made this suggestion. 122 00:10:27,540 --> 00:10:31,300 He said, go for a walk, and I met a dog. 123 00:10:58,480 --> 00:10:59,480 Let's give him some medicine. 124 00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:00,680 Oh, yes. 125 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,080 Anaconda can. 126 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:04,499 Cetus grams. 127 00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:05,500 Cetus grams. 128 00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:06,499 Four targets. 129 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:07,199 Four targets. 130 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,580 Anaconda corn. Anaconda corn. 131 00:11:08,820 --> 00:11:09,880 Enoch. Enoch. 132 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:11,340 Sick? That's it. 133 00:11:22,700 --> 00:11:24,400 We're not duty and humanity. 134 00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:33,990 Once I was crazy. 135 00:11:34,490 --> 00:11:35,770 You see that buttonhole? 136 00:11:36,590 --> 00:11:38,070 Rats used to come out of that. 137 00:11:38,590 --> 00:11:42,410 As fast as they'd come out, I'd grab them, throw them down, and another one 138 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:44,530 would come out. Hey, hey, you ain't well yet. 139 00:11:44,750 --> 00:11:46,590 Why? There's another one coming out now. 140 00:11:47,030 --> 00:11:48,830 You take it. I've got another one. 141 00:11:49,610 --> 00:11:50,610 I'll be seeing you. 142 00:11:52,230 --> 00:11:53,230 Look! 143 00:11:53,550 --> 00:11:56,690 Great big giant green canaries. 144 00:11:57,670 --> 00:11:59,090 Green canaries. 145 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:24,400 The shoes are too tight. 146 00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:25,620 The cool's breaking up. 147 00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:27,300 Wait a minute. 148 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:28,680 Pitch down an octave higher. 149 00:13:13,930 --> 00:13:15,330 Yeah. 150 00:13:25,970 --> 00:13:27,570 You? Yeah. 151 00:13:32,430 --> 00:13:35,570 Give him the anesthetic and see me in the operating room later. 152 00:13:37,290 --> 00:13:38,290 Good. 153 00:15:20,780 --> 00:15:21,780 One, 154 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,300 two, three, four. 155 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,160 Femina. Femina. 156 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,140 Anacinic. Anacinic. Cotton. 157 00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:35,500 Cotton. 158 00:15:35,980 --> 00:15:36,980 Cotton. 159 00:15:40,780 --> 00:15:41,780 Cotton. 160 00:15:42,540 --> 00:15:43,219 Cotton. Cotton. Cotton. 161 00:15:43,220 --> 00:15:44,220 Cotton. Cotton. Cotton. 162 00:15:45,620 --> 00:15:46,880 Cotton. Cotton. 163 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,260 Needles! Needles! Needles! 164 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:38,940 Scissors! Scissors! Scissors! Scissors! 165 00:16:39,460 --> 00:16:40,460 Success! 166 00:16:43,130 --> 00:16:44,130 What's this? 167 00:16:49,150 --> 00:16:50,390 Where are the tools? 168 00:16:51,570 --> 00:16:52,690 The tools? 169 00:16:54,670 --> 00:16:55,670 Tools? 170 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:21,520 Get out of here. 10671