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All language subtitles for The Three Stooges (1934) - S01E01 - Woman Haters

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:52,400 Gentlemen, please, the meeting is called to order and we need quiet, not a riot. 2 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,540 Otherwise, we can't proceed. 3 00:00:55,300 --> 00:00:56,640 Listen, you woman haters. 4 00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:02,980 We meet for the seventh time to convince each member of the club that romance is 5 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:03,980 a crime. 6 00:01:04,239 --> 00:01:07,740 Have any questions or any suggestions that you'd like to make today? 7 00:01:08,220 --> 00:01:11,960 Or if you have a notion to offer a motion, let's hear what you have to say. 8 00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:14,340 Come speak up like a hero. 9 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:16,780 Your speech need not be rehearsed. 10 00:01:16,980 --> 00:01:17,899 Who's that? 11 00:01:17,900 --> 00:01:18,960 Oh, yes, it's Mr. 12 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,200 Zero. 13 00:01:20,660 --> 00:01:23,380 All right, I'll speak up first. 14 00:01:26,460 --> 00:01:29,640 I'll give you my opinion of the opposite sexes. 15 00:01:30,260 --> 00:01:35,740 When a man marries a girl, he has to work while she relaxes. Some smart aleck 16 00:01:35,740 --> 00:01:40,140 wrote a book, The Woman Always Pays. Yes, she pays for perfume, powder, 17 00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:41,660 and every silly craze. 18 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:46,560 But where does the money come from? From those dopey guys who fall. I say down 19 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:49,540 with every guy who sings my life, my love, my all. 20 00:01:50,260 --> 00:01:53,380 Gentlemen, gentlemen, those in favor say aye. 21 00:01:53,940 --> 00:01:55,200 Aye, aye. 22 00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:57,080 All right, we'll pass that by. 23 00:01:57,420 --> 00:01:59,660 Mr. Chairman, three gentlemen wait without. 24 00:02:00,180 --> 00:02:01,180 Without what? 25 00:02:01,260 --> 00:02:02,880 They want to join our club today. 26 00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:05,000 Okay, admit them right away. 27 00:02:14,090 --> 00:02:18,610 Of the Woman Haters Club, I welcome you. Do you three gentlemen understand what 28 00:02:18,610 --> 00:02:19,690 you're expected to do? 29 00:02:19,930 --> 00:02:21,390 Now, boys, relax. 30 00:02:21,770 --> 00:02:23,070 I said relax. 31 00:02:23,590 --> 00:02:26,770 Now, please, at ease, relax, relax. 32 00:02:27,330 --> 00:02:30,430 I didn't tell you to break your backs. 33 00:02:30,710 --> 00:02:32,750 Stand up for the initiation. 34 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:26,740 of the Woman Haters Club. 35 00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:29,220 Hooray! Hooray! Hooray! 36 00:03:30,540 --> 00:03:33,500 Fellas, I'll have to quit that club I joined last week. 37 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:34,679 Quit the club? 38 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:35,680 That's what I said. 39 00:03:35,740 --> 00:03:37,060 Oh, you big fat head, what do you mean? 40 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:41,060 This way, I met a beautiful girl and fell head over heels in love. 41 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:44,360 Why, you must be out of your mind. You're crazy. What are you thinking of? 42 00:03:44,620 --> 00:03:46,500 But I promised to marry her tonight. 43 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:50,540 Tonight? Why, don't you know if you violate the rules of the club, you're 44 00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:53,780 as good as dead? If you get married, you'll be carried out and... 45 00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:02,120 convince me. I guess that you're right. 46 00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:05,280 I'll have to call the wedding off. I'll tell her tonight. 47 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:09,060 That's fine, but how can we be sighted? You won't give us the double cross. 48 00:04:09,620 --> 00:04:12,620 I'll put up my bankroll. If I miss, I'll take the loss. 49 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:14,600 I got a better idea than that. 50 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:16,079 I'll tell you what let's do. 51 00:04:16,779 --> 00:04:19,600 Jackie, me and you, put up our bankrolls, too. 52 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,000 We'll sign on the... 53 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:47,610 Now that you've signed, please bear in mind, from now on, no women around of 54 00:04:47,610 --> 00:04:50,990 kind. Right? Right. Now the forfeit will post. 55 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:53,810 Fill them up. Fill them up. Now I'll make a toast. 56 00:04:54,230 --> 00:04:58,990 To the three musketeers who've stuck along for years, we've traveled together 57 00:04:58,990 --> 00:05:02,730 every kind of weather. Right? Right. What have you got to say for yourself? 58 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:03,970 Me? You. 59 00:05:03,990 --> 00:05:05,630 I've got plenty to say for myself. 60 00:05:07,050 --> 00:05:08,250 I beg your pardon, mates. 61 00:05:08,470 --> 00:05:11,070 Here's to the finest salesman in the whole United States. 62 00:05:11,510 --> 00:05:13,790 Say, by the way, don't we leave for the road tonight? 63 00:05:14,010 --> 00:05:16,630 What day is this? The 21st. By golly, you're right. 64 00:05:16,930 --> 00:05:19,530 Let's hurry back. We've got to pack our samples for the trip. 65 00:05:19,730 --> 00:05:22,310 Okay, before we go, let's take another sip. 66 00:05:24,010 --> 00:05:25,130 Here's to our trip. 67 00:05:25,370 --> 00:05:27,610 You better see a girl and offer her your sympathy. 68 00:05:28,190 --> 00:05:31,210 Tell her that the bride -to -be is not the bride -to -be. Right? 69 00:05:31,650 --> 00:05:32,650 Right. 70 00:05:37,260 --> 00:05:40,620 Meech is at the train, and now I'll tell the lady that I'll never see her again. 71 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:48,540 Doctor, it's late. Have you heard from Jim? No, Dad, he'll be here. Don't worry 72 00:05:48,540 --> 00:05:49,459 about him. 73 00:05:49,460 --> 00:05:52,420 But the people are waiting. Oh, here he comes now. Hello, Jim. 74 00:05:53,700 --> 00:05:56,140 Can I see you privately in the next room? 75 00:05:56,420 --> 00:05:59,080 Not now, dear. What's troubling you? Why all the gloom? 76 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:00,400 Friends of the family. 77 00:06:01,420 --> 00:06:02,420 Meet the groom. 78 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:18,440 Here's to the happiest ending. 79 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:20,020 Gee, I don't feel so hot. 80 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:23,760 Go on, you're joking. Sure you're pretending. Honestly, Father, I'm not. 81 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:26,140 That reminds me of a story. 82 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:27,520 Listen. 83 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:31,880 That's me other daughter there. Well, on her wedding day, the fellow she was 84 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:33,680 about to marry tried to run away. 85 00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:36,120 Did you ever hear a nerve like that? 86 00:06:36,380 --> 00:06:37,920 Well, I took care of that guy. 87 00:06:38,280 --> 00:06:41,480 In the room, I locked him. Then I socked him right in the eye. 88 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,600 Then I turned him over, told me brother to cut. 89 00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:46,780 He just picked him up. 90 00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:48,310 and spin them around like a top. 91 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,490 Then me other brother, who's a fighter, began. 92 00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:55,330 Son, I'm ashamed to tell you what he did to that man. 93 00:06:56,790 --> 00:06:58,090 Did he marry his daughter? 94 00:06:58,430 --> 00:06:59,670 Did he? I should say he did. 95 00:07:00,450 --> 00:07:03,650 There he is, right over there. He'll be walking soon, poor kid. 96 00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:05,630 Oh, Jim, let's go. 97 00:07:05,930 --> 00:07:06,629 Right now? 98 00:07:06,630 --> 00:07:08,570 Yeah. Good luck. 99 00:07:08,790 --> 00:07:09,790 Let's go. 100 00:07:11,550 --> 00:07:12,550 Jim, 101 00:07:14,630 --> 00:07:15,630 do you take Mary? 102 00:07:17,550 --> 00:07:18,550 awful wedded wife? 103 00:07:20,870 --> 00:07:21,870 I do. 104 00:07:22,630 --> 00:07:27,870 Mary, do you promise to love him, share his joy, and share his strife? Oh, I do. 105 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,410 Place the ring upon her finger. 106 00:07:33,310 --> 00:07:37,590 Not that one, the other finger. I pronounce you man and wife. 107 00:08:08,669 --> 00:08:09,669 Here you are. 108 00:08:09,730 --> 00:08:12,170 Oh, thank you, sir. Just ring if you want me to. 109 00:08:12,750 --> 00:08:15,990 Oh, darling, I'm so happy that we're married at last. 110 00:08:16,250 --> 00:08:17,249 And you know something? 111 00:08:17,250 --> 00:08:19,270 I'm going to try to make you happy, too. 112 00:08:19,570 --> 00:08:20,850 Yeah. Yeah? 113 00:08:21,530 --> 00:08:24,170 I can't believe it. It all happened so fast. 114 00:08:24,890 --> 00:08:27,230 Dear, can I ask you a little favor of you? 115 00:08:27,570 --> 00:08:28,570 Why, certainly. 116 00:08:29,210 --> 00:08:32,350 I want you to promise to keep our marriage a secret. What do you say? 117 00:08:32,850 --> 00:08:33,850 Why, the idea. 118 00:08:39,370 --> 00:08:41,049 and a train that'll try to kid me along. 119 00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:29,560 It appeals to me somehow. 120 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:33,380 Would you like to join? Yes, sir. Okay, we'll initiate you now. 121 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,680 And I'll pronounce you a member of the Woman Haters Club. 122 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:56,100 Hey! Did you see a curly -headed fella? Sure enough. 123 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:58,520 He's in there with a lady, brother. She hot stuff. 124 00:10:07,780 --> 00:10:09,800 See, W .H., what does that mean? 125 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:14,720 Wonderful honeymoon. 126 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,560 You fainted. Did you forget? What do you think, Tommy? It's Tommy Rotten. Come 127 00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:24,620 in. Come in. 128 00:10:53,580 --> 00:10:55,640 I tell you, you got me all wrong. 129 00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:59,020 I was minding my own business when that woman came along. 130 00:10:59,980 --> 00:11:04,920 Suddenly she fainted. Now I'm asking you, if a woman faints right in your 131 00:11:05,060 --> 00:11:06,240 what is there to do? 132 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:10,580 You don't think that I'd fool around with a sappy dame like that. Her eyes 133 00:11:10,580 --> 00:11:12,960 like a cat and her hair is like a rat. 134 00:11:13,260 --> 00:11:17,700 Well, just the same, we signed a paper and that paper reads, no woman shall 135 00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:19,660 enter our lives no matter what she needs. 136 00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:22,780 And the next time you're with a girl, you're going to forfeit your dough. 137 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:43,600 Don't make me mad. 138 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:13,440 We won't bother anybody. 139 00:13:14,060 --> 00:13:14,480 For 140 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:27,200 you. 141 00:13:29,060 --> 00:13:31,220 For you, my life, my love, my all. 142 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,460 Yo ho ho ho ho. Yo! 143 00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:17,840 here with this gal. That's what I want to know. Come on outside and I'll tell 144 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,640 you. All right, come on. Let's go. 145 00:16:00,359 --> 00:16:03,280 awake. Bieber, he's hot. 146 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:07,860 Don't worry, I got what it takes to 147 00:16:34,570 --> 00:16:35,570 You hear what I said? 148 00:16:36,190 --> 00:16:38,530 And don't disturb us again. We are going to bed. 149 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,790 of the Woman Haters Club is called. 150 00:18:22,850 --> 00:18:25,050 Mr. Chairman, there's a man outside. 11236