Original subtitles

Emily, what a good idea to have a nice diet dinner when our husbands are out of

town. Yeah, especially since we stuffed ourselves last night.

I'm so sick of junk food.

Ah, exactly what I was talking about. This is a disgrace, and you should not

have these in your home.

Delicious, aren't they? I would kill for them.

you giving in already? We've only been dieting for an hour. Well, it's time for

a reward.

I can't believe how very nice you look, but you shouldn't have dressed up for

me. No, actually, I'm expecting company.

Well, what am I, chopped liver? Carol, you're not company, you're family.

A friend of mine is in town on business. He called this afternoon, so I invited

him over for a drink.

You mean him as in man?

Well, if him isn't a man, he's certainly been fooling his wife and children.

Ah, a family.

Where do you know him from? College.

Oh, you've known him for ages.

Watch it, Carol.

Sorry. When do you expect him? Oh, he said he'd be by after dinner.

Who's the extra place for him? Howard. You invited Howard to dinner?

Well, I did eight years ago, and he's still coming.

When's Bob coming home? Oh, Friday. I can't wait.

Oh, you really miss him, huh? Yeah.

You know, I hate to be in the house alone.

Well, what am I, animal crackers?

Would you please just go get the salt?

Surprise, I came for dinner.

Oh, you could knock me over with a feather.

You don't mind an extra guest, do you? Of course not, Howard.

Good, you can stay, Carol.

The perfect host.

Well, what are we having after salad?

The good night.

Carol and I decided to cut down on the calories tonight.

Yeah, that's a good idea. I've been meaning to cut down myself.

That airplane food is a bit rich.

I usually don't have time to send out.

Oh, then that'll be good for you.

Yeah, do you have any stuff to put on top of this to give a little more

Sure. Well, thank you. I need some salami and some bologna and some cheese,

mayonnaise, some mustard, a little guacamole sauce, and some sourdough

Oh, are you going to put all that stuff on top of your lettuce?

Oh, you're right. I'll just get rid of some of this stuff here.

an old flame while Bob's out of town?

I won't have it. I simply won't have it.

Howard is just a friend.

No, actually, he is an old flame.

I won't have it. I simply won't have it.

Will you two stop being silly?

There's nothing between Steve and me anymore. We're just friends.

Uh, Emily, if God had intended men and women to be just friends, he wouldn't

have invented hands.

meet you, too.

I'm so upset I'm losing my appetite.

Emily. Oh, Steve.

I like the looks of this.

Emily, you look gorgeous.

Oh, you're just saying that, and I'm loving it. Oh, you look wonderful

I want you to meet a friend of mine, Carol Bondurant. How do you do?

And this is our friend and our next -door neighbor, Howard Borden.

How do you...

I don't. Yes, we do. I mean, you two want to catch up on old times.

Come on, Howard. You can buy me dinner.

Yeah, I'm starved. You buy.

It was nice meeting you two.

My pleasure.

Steve, did you bring your family with you on this trip?

Oh, I didn't want to tell you on the phone, but Marge and I just got

Don't you want your teeth checked?

No, I like them all one color.

Okay. You shut your mouth and open wide.

Now, what's all this about Emily and another man?

Uh -huh. Old college boyfriend.

Uh -huh.

Just got a divorce. What are you trying to tell me, Howard?

I'm going to pretend I never heard that.

Howard, it's for you.

Bob, returning your call from Cincinnati.

Hi. Hello, Howard.

I got your message. What's the origin?

Are you sitting here with... Howard,

what are you eating?

Jerry has some dentist stuff in your mouth.

Take it out, Howard.

What's the problem?

I just want to tell you, Bob, that things are about the same as when you

Jerry is cleaning my teeth.

My last flight was to Denver.

It looks like rain out, and Emily's fooling around with another man. See you

later.

Well, Howard, that will sure put his mind at ease.

Well, somebody had to do it. You know, if you were working for the State

Department, we'd be at war with Utah.

Only if they want their canal back.

I just had lunch with Emily. It is worse than we suspected.

Oh, yeah? Well, what'd she say?

Nothing. She said about last night was okay, fine, he left early.

Who does she think she's kidding?

She's trying to pull the wool over our sheep.

You know, it's as though he's got Novocaine in his brain.

Come on, you guys, we've got to do something.

You're making something out of nothing here.

Jerry, the guy's gorgeous.

If Emily were the kind of person who'd fall for a gorgeous human male, she'd

have fallen for me years ago.

This is no time for jokes, Jerry.

Blubber Boy's coming over to Emily's for dinner tonight.

Did you say what we're having?

Just Emily and Steve, Howard. Alone, the two of them, solo.

What does that tell you?

Tells me I'd better find someplace healthy to eat.

You guys got nothing to worry about. Emily's nuts about Bob.

I'm... I know that, Jerry.

But Bob happens to be out of town.

And this terrific -looking guy Emily used to date happens to be in town.

I mean, they'll get to talking about old times. Who knows what'll happen? Hey,

come on. Emily's only human, you know.

We've really got to think this thing out.

I got it.

I'd order chicken from the colonel.

Huh? Emily, do you remember that night you made coffee for me?

I was staying up late studying for finals.

Yes.

It was the first time I ever brewed coffee.

A little strong, wasn't it? Oh, it wasn't so bad once you get past the

slice.

Catch up, didn't it?

Yeah, until last Thursday.

You know, Steve, it really is incredible.

I mean, good friends don't have to see each other every day to stay close.

We picked it up right where we left off, right?

Well, in a way, I guess you're right.

Too bad Bob's out of town. You know, you really would have liked him. Oh, I'm

sure I would. We have a lot in common.

The same good taste in women.

He's really a terrific guy.

Is he going a lot?

Yeah, too much.

I don't know why he'd ever want to leave.

I haven't enjoyed a dinner like this in months. It was wonderful.

You know, Steve, the one subject you've been avoiding all night is your

marriage.

We tried.

It didn't work.

We called it off.

You know, Emily, I... I'm sure there were things I could have done.

Probably should have done.

But I didn't.

Oh, Steve.

You know, I think you're being too hard on yourself.

I mean, you've always been a kind and a sensitive man.

Do you remember that Christmas when I had to stay in the infirmary with the

tonsillitis and you snuck in that little silly tree?

What about the mistletoe? Ah, no, the mistletoe was a nice touch, yes.

You are the only guy I ever knew who had mistletoe all year round. Well, I like

to beat the Christmas rush.

Hi, Emily. Carol.

Oh, you're not alone.

Who is that?

Steve. Hi, Steve.

Hi, Carol.

Ah, coffee.

Coffee. I am dying for a cup of coffee. Uh, Carol, this is a surprise.

Oh, no.

I've always been a big coffee drinker.

Actually, Emily, I figured out I owed you $1 .43 for lunch today, so I thought

I'd better come by and pay it.

Carol, you bought lunch today.

Oh.

Ah, well, then you owe me a dollar for it.

Pay up, deadbeat.

How you doing, Steve?

Fine, thanks. How are you tonight? Oh, Steve, I could not be better.

I've just taken up scuba diving, you know.

Why don't you let me tell you how it's done? Now, first, you need some water.

Ah, Carol, you know I always love to see you. However, there are some... Oh, my

golly gosh, look at the time. Excuse me. I've got a million things to do. I'd

sure love to stay, though. Will you excuse me, Steve?

Of course.

Have a nice evening.

I'm sorry.

I don't know what that was all about.

Just when I was getting interested in scuba diving.

Hi,

Ellen. Is Bob ready?

Oh, the Bulls game. We're going to the Bulls game.

Jerry, you know Bob's out of town.

Oh, damn, that's right. What the heck am I going to do with this other ticket?

Well, perhaps you would like to go, Steve.

Have we met?

Ah, yeah. No, actually not. No, no, no.

Then how did you know his name was Steve?

You mean I guessed right.

Steve Darnell, this is Jerry Robinson. How do you do? How do you do? Steve, I

work in the same building as the killer.

Yeah, that's what we call Bob Emily's husband ever since that nasty incident

with the three Marines.

Jerry, what do you want?

What do I want? Oh, yeah, I was just trying to find somebody to go to the

basketball game with me. How about it, Steve?

Oh, I'm not much of a basketball fan.

Oh, I made a mistake. Actually, they're hockey tickets.

I don't care much for hockey either.

What do you like? Oh!

There must be a full moon tonight.

Hi, Steve.

What is this, a bus stop?

Howard, what do you want?

What do I want?

I forgot.

Well, is the cup in your hand a clue?

To what?

To why you're here.

Oh, I came over to lend you a cup of sugar.

Howard, I have plenty of sugar.

Oh, well, I came over to borrow a cup of sugar.

You have sugar.

Must meet me, too.

Howard, how can I fill that cup if it's already full?

Oh, yeah.

Do I have time to call Carol?

Howard, go home.

My time isn't up. I'll get you off the hook with Carol.

Yeah, well, take this for your trouble. Howard!

Carol, I think I blew it.

pictures of my tanks.

See, we do excuse us. Carol and I are going to go in the den for a minute. No,

no, no. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

I'll go in the den. I have to make a quick phone call. All right? Thank you.

I'll go dial for him. Carol, I want you and Curly and Mo to stop this nonsense

right now.

Now, I know what you're up to and I really resent it. But Emily, that

That is a man who has just gone through a very difficult divorce and he needs a

friend to be a little understanding and to talk to him and I intend to be that

friend. And frankly, you know, I find your suspicions very insulting.

I'm sorry.

I didn't think of it that way. Listen, I'll go apologize to him. No, no, I will

make your apologies.

You won't be bothered anymore tonight. I certainly will not.

Steve, you like bowling? Bowling, Steve, badminton, darts. Where's Steve?

Let's go, dummy.

Right.

Well, leave those guys.

Is your private conference over?

Oh, Steve.

I'm so sorry.

I don't know what came over my friend.

It should be, Annette.

No. You know, they're really very nice people.

Well, it's just that... See, they thought that something romantic was

You mean they thought that some of the old magic might still be working?

Well, I guess they thought that, you know, what we had before might not be

You mean they thought that something like this might happen?

Uh, yeah.

I guess that is kind of what they had in mind.

Steve, I think you better leave.

No, let me rephrase that. I mean, I know you better leave.

Emily, I didn't plan this, but I think... I think I still love you.

I'm positive you better leave.

Can't we just talk this over? Just write me.

Emily, I'm sorry.

I thought I knew what was going on here tonight, but I guess I didn't.

Thanks for the dinner.

You're welcome.

It was nice seeing you again.

Is Steve gone?

Yeah, he had to leave suddenly.

We decided to come by and apologize.

Yeah, we really feel like fools right now.

I don't feel any different.

We know what we did was awful, but our intentions were really good.

I tried to tell these people they were making a mistake. I mean, I've been

around.

I took one look at that Steve guy, and I knew he wasn't the type who would make

a pass at a married woman.

He just made a pass at me. I knew it. His eyes. Shit.

If he isn't here, he'd be sorry. Take it easy. Hey.

Oh, I'm really starting to feel bad about this.

I mean, I was so hard on him. I just got so upset, you know, I just lost my

head. Are you feeling guilty? He's the one who made the pass.

Oh, you don't understand. I mean, it's...

You see, Steve's not really in control of his feelings right now.

You know, I think I'm going to go call him and leave a message at his hotel.

Maybe we can have dinner tomorrow night.

Did you hear that?

Nicest, warmest, most generous. Get together tomorrow and talk it all out? I

don't like the sound of this. Emily may not realize it, but she's got strong

feelings for that guy. What are you going to do? I don't think we should do

anything. We made big mistakes tonight.

Listen. Think how awful it would be if anything ever came between Bob and

Oh, what a terrible thought.

Who's going to get custody of me?

Emily, I understand the man's going through a very difficult period.

And it would probably be a good idea to talk to him again and explain your

feelings.

Of course, I remember you mentioning Steve before.

Emily, I'm not jealous of them.

Well, you've never been jealous of any of my old sweethearts.

Well, of course I don't talk about them. It's not the kind of thing you talk to

your wife about.

How many?

I don't know. There was Ruth, Sally.

Well, I know that's two.

There were others.

Mary, Ginny, Kathleen, Paula, and the girl who

worked at the Speedy Plumbing and Heating.

I've got to stop now.

Well, this is a long -distance call.

Things are going very well.

I've been doing a lot of TV interview shows, you know.

Coffee with Phil, Coffee Break, Time Out for Coffee, Coffee Talk with Connie.

The interviews are good, but I'm having a hell of a time trying to get to sleep

at night.

Steve.

Emily. I hope I didn't keep you waiting long. No, just 12 years.

Please sit down.

I'm really glad you called and asked me to meet you.

Well, I didn't want to leave things the way they were.

I think that, well, I overreacted a little.

Have you given some more thought to us?

Steve, there is no us.

You see, what you're feeling is a reaction to being alone after all those

of marriage.

Steve, for you, I'm...

I'm comfortable.

Robinson, the orthodontist?

No, no.

Sure you are. You fixed my kid's teeth.

What are you talking about? He comes to you every Tuesday.

Hey, let me rephrase that. He used to come to you every Tuesday.

I've been happy these last few months.

I guess I was just looking for a happier time.

Those were happy times for me too, Steve, but my life is different now.

I mean, I'm really very happy, and I think you will be too soon.

Thanks for understanding.

Are we still friends?

Of course we're friends.

We'll always be friends.

Now, kiss me, but make it a friendly one.

I knew it. She's falling for a hook, line, and sinker.

Now that weird guy's making gestures at me.

Howard, that's cherry.

Boy, that's a good disguise.

I'd love to. You were always a wonderful dancer.

Dance!

It's him again!

How is Jerry?

Oh, yeah, right. I won't. I won't make him sick again.

Do something.

Don't worry, don't worry. I'll take care of it.

Excuse me.

that weird guy's coming on with Carol.

You think that's Jerry?

Boy, that's a good disguise.

That settles it. Now, let's get this settled once and for all. You all sit

Emily. Just sit.

Now, I don't know what's come over you three people.

What made you think that anything or anybody could ever come between me and

But even women who love their husbands sometimes get tempted.

Right. Steve's a very...

handsome and desirable man.

Don't get me wrong, Steve.

Well, Bob may not be a matinee idol to you, but he is beautiful to me.

I mean, he has a beautiful smile and beautiful eyes.

I like his ears.

You know, the really beautiful thing about Bob is the insides. You know, his

sensitivity, the way he...

He knows what I'm feeling when I'm feeling it the way he knows when to hold

and when to leave me alone.

When to talk to me when I need to listen and when to listen when I need to talk.

Every day our marriage just gets stronger and stronger.

I mean, I would never do anything to jeopardize that.

So now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to have dinner with my friend Steve.

And I'm going to go home and I'm going to call my husband and tell him how very

much I love him.