Original subtitles

I borrowed for a couple of days.

Last year.

Thanks for bringing it back.

Oh, I'd have brought it back sooner, except I was hoping you'd forget I had

It came in real handy, though, when Larry and I went to Vegas. Oh.

Oh.

Caesar's Palace ashtray.

Flamingo fountain pen.

Desert Inn drinking glass.

Did you stay at all those places?

No, just visited. But I had my big purse.

Kansas City is going to meet us up at the cabin tonight.

Emily, are you sure you want to go fishing? You know, Larry could book you

great trip to Vegas.

Carol, you can't land a rainbow trout in Las Vegas.

True, but you can't shoot crabs in the woods.

You know I love fishing. I used to go fishing all the time in Seattle with my

dad. Besides, I'm looking forward to this weekend. Just getting away, you

me and the guys, Bob and his dad and Jerry.

Jerry?

He overheard Bob talking about it, and he invited himself along. He said he

loves the outdoors.

Jerry's idea of roughing it is wearing a short -sleeved shirt.

And how did Bob's father horn in here? Oh, he didn't horn in. It's his idea.

It's his cabin. Well, if he's anything like my father -in -law, he's a real

drag.

Carol, shh.

Herb will hear you.

He's in the den tying flies.

To what?

Wait a minute. You call your father -in -law Herb?

Well, sure. What do you call yours?

Sir.

this on your lordship.

Hi, Carol.

Hi, Mr.

Hartley. All set for your trip. You bet.

Will the fish be biting?

Biting? I'll look at these flies and they'll ask for the wine list.

Where's Martha? She went to New York to see her sister.

Years ago we made an arrangement. I don't force her to clean fish and she

doesn't force me to look at her sister.

I think I got the better of that deal.

Is the coffee ready, Emily? Yeah, it's in the thermos. Listen, I've got to run

but have a nice weekend.

Oh, hi, Carol. Hi, Emily.

Hi, Al.

Mr. Hurley. Hi, Carol. Hi, Howard. Hi, Herb. Hi, Carol. Hi, Dave. Hi, Ricky.

That was fun.

You guys getting ready for your trip? You better believe it. I just got

tying my fly.

Did you break your zipper?

That's rich, Howard.

I thought you were in Kansas City.

There's a baggage handler striking. It's messed up the whole schedule.

They had to reroute me here.

Yeah, it is too bad, but at least I know where my luggage is.

Back in Kansas City behind a picket line.

Well, you will be able to make it this weekend, won't you?

Oh. Okay, honey, well, then we'll see you later.

Bob's in Denver. He'll try and make it to the cabin tomorrow.

Well, I better start taking this stuff down to the car. Yeah, I better finish

packing that.

You guys have a good time. I'll take care of things here.

Hey, Howard, if you're not doing anything this weekend, why don't you go

to the cabin with us? Who, me?

Yeah, there's plenty of room.

Well, I hadn't planned on picking you. Well, we can always use an extra hand

over the cabin.

Well, I suppose it's okay.

Well, just give me a little time to get my things together, okay?

Can I ride in the front seat?

getting his gear together.

What's that smell?

Clean air.

Welcome to my mountain retreat.

I hope you two don't mind hopping it.

Where's your jacuzzi?

My jacuzzi's back in Chicago.

That's a long way to go with just a towel around your waist.

Oh, Herb, the cabin is beautiful.

Hey, my lumberjack jacket.

for this moment.

Yeah, boy.

This is where I really belong.

Oh, Herb, you look right at home.

Yeah. Hey, Cupcake, would you mind handing me that pillow for my back?

That one?

Yeah.

Yeah. Thanks, Cupcake.

Yeah, I've been waiting for this.

Isn't it nice to get up here where you can hear yourself think?

I don't hear anything.

Boy, oh boy, oh boy.

This is what I call the wilderness, huh?

Say, Herb, where's the best reception?

Try the second bedroom down the hall.

Jerry, how can you watch television in the middle of these beautiful woods?

You've got a point there, Emily. Those tall trees will really screw up my

picture.

I've got to hurry. The Fighting Irish are around soon. The Fighting Irish?

Has my dad got that thing settled yet?

This weekend, take my advice. Don't go near any woodpeckers.

And second thought, do.

I love the sound of the wilderness.

No, that's my radio phone.

Oh, I love the sound of radio phone.

Is that coming to Prince's model?

Next year. Hello.

Hello, Mr. Hartley.

Oh, Sybil Jenkins, the local operator.

What's new, Sybil?

Mrs. Bennett's having an affair with a game warden.

Sounds like he's bagged his limit.

Sybil knows everything about everybody.

Heard you were up here with your pretty daughter -in -law, a guy with a color

TV, and some fellow who brought up the rear and the brains line.

Better turn that down. Jerry might hear.

Look, Sybil, in case you haven't heard, my son Bob will be joining us up here

later on tonight.

Was he calling from Kansas City?

Nope. Dallas.

He got rerouted again.

Thinks he'll be able to make it up to the cabin late tomorrow.

Did he sound upset?

Well, he didn't have much time to talk. He was trying to catch up to his

luggage.

Thanks, Abel. Talk to you later.

Oh, poor Bob.

Don't worry. When the going gets tough, the hearty gets going.

Really? Bob usually gets cranky.

Hey, we got a couple of good hours.

light yet. Oh, right. Let's put him to good use.

How about it, Howard?

Want to go see if we can catch a couple of big ones?

No, thanks. I think I'd rather go fishing.

Does he ever stop?

One right after the other.

Hey, Cupcake, I can't tell you how glad I am you came along on this trip. Oh,

I'm glad you asked me, Herb. I can't tell you how I've been looking forward

it. Yeah, it's been ages since I had a woman up here to clean up the place.

All right.

The fish are jumping. Yeah, they're probably nervous because they heard we

coming. Yeah. Hey, Cupcake, the steel wool is under the sink.

Oh, thanks.

Why, you all... Fishermen.

Yeah, we practically had to beat the fish away with a stick, Cupcake.

You should have been there. Yeah, I should have.

Herb made me throw it back in. He said, no newts is good newts.

That's a little fishing humor, Emily.

Well, I'm glad you two had a good time.

I had great fun cleaning the oven.

Yeah, and you did one heck of a good job with it, sweetie.

I was hoping that maybe you could defrost the refrigerator.

But you can let it go until morning.

Thanks.

Look, Herb, you know, I didn't mind straightening up the cabin. And, I mean,

didn't mind cleaning the fish.

Much.

But I think you ought to know that I do expect to go fishing tomorrow.

Oh, you hear that, Howard? She expects to go fishing tomorrow.

Isn't that cute, Howard?

I'm serious, Herb. Oh, you are.

Well, Emily, we don't mind you coming along and watching, but you know, the

currents out there in that river are pretty swift.

Hey, come on, let's relax around the fire. Oh, good idea, Herb, good idea.

Emily, the dishwashing detergent is under the sink.

The dishwashing soap.

I'm not going to wash the dishes while you two sit and talk.

Oh, isn't that sweet?

Don't worry. Noise won't disturb us.

Howard, do you mind? You're sitting in Old Red.

Paul, did I get any on my Wranglers?

No, Old Red is my Redwood rocker.

I've had hers since I bought this cabin back in 42.

Well, now I'll just sit here on Old Maroon.

Yeah. 42.

That was the year I caught that 12 -pound catfish.

What kind of mice did you use for bait?

A good one, Howard.

What?

You know, I've had a lot of adventures up here at the cabin.

Never forget the year the bear came by.

Bear? Yeah, a mean old grizzly. Had the whole lake terrorized for months.

Finally, I had to go out and chase him off.

Boy, you've been roughed up.

Rules in nature.

You know, a bear won't harm a man unless he shows fear.

How does a bear show fear?

Howard, Howard, you're better than Bob Hope.

At what?

Hey, Emily, as long as you're up, you mind filling my pipe?

Herb, I am washing your dishes.

Oh, that's all right. I'm in no hurry.

I'll wait until you dry your hands.

Just a minute, Herb. Now look, cupcake.

It's not like I'm asking you to chop down a tree or anything like that. Just

little favor for a man who's been out in the wilderness all day stalking your

dinner.

All right, Herb.

I'll fill your pot.

Actually, I'm trying to quit

anyway.

little bit scrappy.

That's wonderful, Howard.

Yeah, Howard, take my trout over to the sink there where Emily can clean it. Put

it in the icebox, Howard.

Emily doesn't feel like cleaning fish tonight.

I mean, by now he's been in the water all day.

for pizza? The nearest pizza restaurant is 200 miles away.

They deliver?

Sure, put them on.

Hi, Dad.

Yeah, hi, son. Where the heck you been? We got shuttled to Miami, and I'm afraid

I won't be able to make it to the cabin at all this weekend.

I know I feel terrible about it, too.

Especially when I think of the great time you guys must be having.

Isn't Emily a great little outdoors woman, Dad?

Yeah, yeah, great.

Isn't Dad something with those fish, Emily?

He's something, all right.

I'll call you all later.

Wish I was there.

Yeah, bye, son.

Goodbye, Bob.

Bye.

Oh,

Herb, this is ridiculous. We're being silly.

That's right, Emily. You are being silly.

I mean, we both are. Now, look, I'm not the one who poured the soapy water in my

father -in -law's pipe.

Well, you deserved it. Why? What'd they do?

Herb, ever since we got up here and you put on this ridiculous jacket, you have

turned from a perfectly charming father -in -law into Nanook of the North.

What are you talking about?

Herb, why wouldn't you let me go fishing?

But I told you already, those waters are treacherous.

Oh, that creek is about as treacherous as a bubble bath.

And believe me, if you and Howard... can handle it.

I mean, I certainly can.

Now, listen to me, Emily.

Now, maybe woman's lib is all right in this city where we can't do much harm.

But up here in the high country, everybody's got to pull his own weight.

where the strongest and the most experienced have to be the leaders.

You Tarzan, me Jane.

What does that make me?

Now, Emily, I know it sounds old -fashioned, but I'm doing this for your

good. Look, Herb, I'm trying to be nice because I like you and because you're my

husband's father.

And one of my major rules in life is never to call my husband's father a

mushroom head.

But you, Herb, are a mushroom head.

You see, Emily, you're losing your cool, just like a woman. Oh, I just don't

believe this conversation.

You can say what you want, Emily, but I simply will not subject you to the

dangers of the wild.

Dangers? The only dangers I've had to face since we got up here are dishpan

hands. That's because you stayed inside where you belong.

Oh, I cannot talk to you up here.

It's all right with me, Emily.

One thing I can do without up here in my cabin is a woman's idle chatter.

Well, I think I'll go out and get some wood.

Good idea, Howard.

Looks like it's going to be a darn cold night.

Yeah, I'll be right back with that wood.

Eight -foot bear gets off the woodpile.

Ranger Davis, look.

Well, I'm glad we finally got you.

This is Herb Hartley. Look, I want to report a bear sighting right outside my

cabin. Oh, yeah?

Did you get any pictures?

Well, no.

Howard here is the only one who saw him here. Describe him.

Breaker, breaker.

The alleged bear had brown eyes and brown hair.

He was kind of portly, tall, four paws.

Oh, yeah, he was naked.

I'll check back with you in the morning. Oh, all right.

Yeah. Well, sure.

I hope I don't have to go down and look at the lineup.

You know, that Ranger Davis is a pretty good fella.

That's exactly the course of action I was going to recommend.

That bear won't stay around here once he realizes that there's no food around

here. Yeah, but there is food. Us.

Yeah, frozen food.

Fire's almost out. We're going to need some wood before the night's over.

Well, who's going to go and get it?

Well, I don't know who is, but I know who isn't.

The cupcake.

Of course you're not, Emily. This is a job for a man.

Herb, you're the closest to the door.

I don't see anything out there.

Let me take a look. I know what he looks like.

There's only one thing to do.

I'll be right back.

Herb, you're not going out there.

That's right, Emily.

It's my cabin. It's my duty.

Herb, you don't have to prove anything. Not to anyone.

I mean, a bear is a very dangerous animal.

You may have to be there off the wave when you're ready to pounce. No, no,

Howard!

Now, you know what?

With my coat on, it's not too bad in here.

Hey, would you believe it? that the thermometer has gone up to a nice toasty

degrees.

Yeah.

No wonder I'm sweating.

I've never been so cold in my whole life. Me either.

Well, of course you're going to be cold if you stand around with nothing on you.

Come on now, put on your coats and your mufflers and everything, and first thing

you know, you'll be roasting.

Yeah, we may even have to open up a window.

Yeah. Herb, you really think we're going to be warm enough? No, we're going to

have to get some wood before the night's over, that's for sure.

Well, there's no need to go outside for all the wood around here. Here, here,

look at these pencils.

They're highly flammable, you know. They ought to burn for minutes.

Yeah, and that newspaper will burn. No, no, I haven't read the funnies yet.

Yeah, that'll be blazing in no time.

Herb, you know, we can't really get by without a fire.

Well, no need, no need. Not with all the wood in here, that table, that table,

and...

Oh, Herb, not old Red.

No, Emily, it's only a chair.

Oh, Herb, that was your favorite chair.

What, this old thing?

I haven't been able to get rid of this junk for ages.

Jerry, were you just outside?

Yeah, I went out the back way and left my radio in the car.

Did you happen to see a bear out there?

Oh yeah, the big brown furry thing over by the woodpile. Cute.

You sleep well?

Yeah.

You?

Well, I had this terrible dream that I was locked inside of a refrigerator.

I realized I was still awake.

You know, I lay in bed there last night listening to Howard's teeth chatter.

Suddenly dawned on me I'm not as young as I used to be.

Oh, well, we're all getting older, Herb.

I mean, we're older than when we woke up this morning.

Now I'm even more depressed.

You know, Emily, I... I really loved old Red.

I know you did, Herb.

I don't know what got into me last night.

Oh, who do I think I'm fooling? I know what got into me. Fear.

Large dose of runaway fear.

I just got scared silly at the idea of facing that bear.

You chased bears before?

What about that one you ran off in 42?

Well, Emily, that wasn't really a bear.

It was more like a bull.

Really what it actually was, like a cow.

Well, Herb, you know, cows can be mean.

You know, I've been thinking, Emily.

I've been coming up to this place for nearly 40 years.

I'm getting old.

Maybe I ought to sell this place.

You know, I think that's a good idea, Herb.

You do?

Yeah, you bet.

You know, a man of your years ought to get into quieter hobbies. You know, like

checkers or cribbage or lawn bowling. I hate those things.

Well, I mean, you'll get used to them in time. I mean, Herb, you'd have so much

time to spend with your wife's relatives.

Are you crazy?

You're not going to put me out to pasture. Now, look here, Emily.

Oh, I know what you're doing.

And it worked.

Oh, boy, how it worked.

Herb, Herb, you belong here.

That's right.

And, you know, you don't have to be Daniel Boone to prove it.

You know, I've been treating you pretty shabbily.

Bears and women make me act foolish sometimes.

I'm sorry.

Oh, Herb, it can happen to the best of us. It's okay.

Want to go fishing?

Hey, Herb, I would love it. You catch him, I'll clean him.

Hey, Howard!

Emily and I are going down the river. Want to come along?

I better not. That bear may be looking for me.

After all, I'm the one to put the finger on him.

Come on, let's go catch our dinner.

I'm with you, cupcake.

like a weekend in the wilderness to make you really appreciate nature, huh?