Original subtitles

Good morning, Cross.

There's nothing good about it. I'm going to drown in this kitchen if it starts

to rain again.

mansion is coming apart at the seams.

Well, don't holler at me, Kraus. You're the head of household affairs. If

something needs to get fixed, get it fixed.

Well, what am I supposed to use for money? My good looks?

Kraus, if your face is your fortune, you're bankrupt.

I need more money for painting and patching on general fix -up. I can't

give you money.

The familiar sounds of home. Oh, Governor Pete, welcome home.

Thank you.

How was your trip?

Oh, very expensive. Where do the people in Washington get the money to live

there? From you and me.

Governor, I need to have a talk with you.

Good morning. Welcome back, sir. How was the trade conference?

Boring, but that's only half the story. Good. It's usually the whole story.

I'm just so glad you're here. I got something I'm dying to tell you.

about the maintenance... Just a minute, Miss Krause.

All right, quiet, everybody. Pete has something wonderful to say.

He wants to tell us that the Queen's coming to visit. Go ahead, Pete.

Elizabeth II?

Yes, Clayton, really, the Queen of England.

She's on a goodwill tour.

So that's where she gets her clothes.

Well, you better book her a room at the Holiday Inn because she's not coming

here.

Why not, Miss Groves? Oh, Governor, the ceiling leaks, the drapes look awful,

and the place hasn't been painted since Pluto was a pup.

You've got plenty of time to fix those things. She's not going to be here for

three weeks?

I'd be glad to, but Benson won't give me the money. I told you before, I can't

just give you money.

Well, you'd better just give her the money. We're talking about Her Royal

Majesty. Where do you suggest I get the money? Governor, look at that drip,

drip, drip. Every time it rips... It drips. Look at all the water that came

that ceiling.

It really does look pretty bad, Benson.

Nonsense. It's just a little drip.

I'll find the money somewhere.

It is absolutely essential that you study this pamphlet on protocol. Do you

to make a fool of yourself in front of the queen?

No, no, no, no, Clayton. I'll leave that up to you.

Vincent, I thought you'd like to know the painter's start today.

Thanks, Kraus. For instance, do you know the proper form of address for the

queen? I know everything but the zip code.

Death's rich painters has a no bid.

Kraus, you can't bother me now. Clayton's annoying me.

It's the hornet.

Thanks, Krause. I didn't do it for you. They had the low bid.

Wonderful. Now we're going to have that rowdy street gang in the mansion.

Clayton, they are not a rowdy street gang.

Calvin has turned that group into a successful business operation.

Benson, you are courting disaster. The queen is going to be here in less than

three weeks, and you have entrusted a job that is obviously for professionals

these ruffians, these thugs, these hoodlums.

Can you fellas think of anything else he can call you?

I've always been fond of Calvin.

You can call me mean or seldom seen or the paint machine, but my friends call

Mr. Clean.

This is going to be a fiasco, Benson. You mark my words.

Gentlemen, thank you.

Come on in, guys. How's business? Great. We're a major employer now, Benson. We

got 16 men on this job.

15. Little John isn't here yet.

I'm going to have to talk with him.

No problems?

Just growing pains.

Excuse me, Benson. Mr. John Wallace Tyler is here to see you. Who?

Little John.

Oh, send him in, Deedee.

Right this way.

Thank you, my dear.

Isn't he cute?

Adorable.

Are you painting this office or running for it?

budget director. It's been a long time. Yes, yes. Look, Johnny, you're looking

sharp. That's because I am sharp.

You were supposed to be on the job at nine o 'clock sharp.

Calvin, give me a break. I had a breakfast meeting with a potential

You should have told me that yesterday. Now get downstairs, get into your

coveralls, and bring up the eight -foot ladder.

Yes, your worship, immediately.

Mr. Dubois.

Sorry about that, Benson. Little John's having a bit of an attitude problem.

Yeah, since birth.

Look, we're going to start in here. All we have to do is the ceiling and the

trim. So you're saying I should get out?

Unless you want to grab a paintbrush and join the payroll.

No, thanks.

There's a lot more job security and paint than there is in politics. Got a

of coveralls just your size.

You can't afford such high -priced talent.

Did you take my pad? Oh.

I know there are a

great many important issues.

for you today, but as you consider these vital questions, ask yourselves, what

is important?

Silence is important.

You were making noise.

That wasn't me. That was a calculator.

Can't you do those figures in your head?

I've got seven pages of five -digit numbers here. I've got ten pages of

to memorize.

Well, if I don't balance this budget, you can memorize a farewell speech.

Okay. We'll both try to be a little more quiet, okay?

Okay.

as you ask yourselves, what is it for?

Here they come, homemade cookies.

Oh, Miss Krause, must you do that here?

Well, Governor, this is the kitchen. Where else am I supposed to bake

Try the Disease Control Center.

How is a person supposed to get any work done in this chaos?

Stay out of the kitchen.

Miss Krause, may I work at your desk?

No.

Fine. and I'll just work at the table.

No.

Good news.

I got a marching band to greet the queen at the airport.

A marching band. That's a terrific idea.

Well, well, it's not actually a marching band.

It's the West River Senior Citizens Glockenspiel and Kazoo Ensemble.

But, you know, they're willing to march. Those who can.

A kazoo ensemble to greet the queen.

Well, congratulations,

Peter.

You bring a new meaning to the phrase ugly American.

That was on call for Clayton. Sir, I can handle this.

And don't worry, I'm not going to sink to his level of childish behavior.

Hey, turkey breath!

I think this constant is swapping. What am I going to do with those two?

Well, they've got each other. That's punishment enough.

Where do you think you're going? To lunch. What's the big deal?

I'll tell you what the big deal is. You go to lunch early, I'm docking you one

hour's wages.

With the money I make on this job, it's no big loss.

I'm going to lunch.

Could you guys discuss lunch over lunch?

Sorry, Benson.

Governor. Catch you later, Calvin.

Little John, didn't you hear what I said? Little John!

Everywhere you turn, squabbling.

What's wrong with the human race?

Sometimes I think the entrance requirements are too easy.

Come on in.

Excuse me, Benson, I forgot the stepladder.

Oh, come on in here, Calvin. Have you worked out things with Little John?

Not really. I haven't seen him since lunch.

What's the problem, anyway?

Money. See, when we started the Hornets, we all agreed to take a minimum wage

and plow the rest of the money back into the company. And he wants to plow more

back into his pocket. You got it.

Well, if everybody agreed to reinvest in the company, I'd stick with that plan.

That's what I plan on doing.

Calvin, I want to talk to you. You guys are supposed to be downstairs painting

the living room.

Not until we settle something.

What is it now?

Well, I've spoken with the rank and file, and we've come to the conclusion

we should be getting another two bucks an hour. Don't let them push you around,

Calvin. Look, we've been over this before. We just can't do it.

Sure you don't want to reconsider?

Be firm.

Take it or leave it.

Is that your final answer? Stay the course.

That's my final answer.

Well, in that case, I officially notify you that the Hornets are on strike.

Damn, for a minute there, I thought we had them.

but their mothers prefer it that way.

Well, there's another dream down the drain.

Calvin.

You all right? What?

Oh, sorry, Governor. I was just taking a break before I went home. Went home?

It's almost 9 o 'clock in the morning.

Well, I guess I'm back.

Well, you look zapped, Calvin.

What? Tired.

You must be, like, totally bummed out.

I think it's gross what those nerds did to you.

Well, ain't no sweat, Katie. I'm hanging in there.

Later.

Okay. I'll bet the queen's gonna be surprised at what's happened to the

English. For sure.

What were you two talking about just now?

Calvin's trying to paint the mansion by himself.

All the hornets went on strike.

On strike?

Oh, Katie, what are we gonna do?

Daddy, I'm your daughter, not a member of your cabinet.

Miss Cross, have you heard that the Hornets went on strike?

I know. What are we going to do about this?

Miss Cross, I'm the governor. I'm not the head of household affairs.

This job is one headache after another.

Good morning, Cross.

And here comes headache number two.

It's not working out with Calvin. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. What is it, the

age difference?

You know what I mean. I... need two coats of paint before the Queen arrives.

Don't you think you better get your dents pounded out first?

Look, Benson, the Queen will be here in three days now. The painting will never

be done by then.

Now, this wasn't an easy decision for me, but I'm going to have to fire

Oh, that's brilliant, Krauss. Fire the one guy that's working.

Not to worry, Calvin, my man. We'll get this straightened out.

You tell him. Tell me what?

Oh, well, I am just trying to get this mansion painted.

Well, it's perfectly simple.

I stand firmly behind Calvin. He should fire those malcontents and get on with

the job at hand.

Kraus thinks we should fire Calvin.

Oh.

Well, either way.

Benson, you don't have to fire me. I'll get the job done.

Wait a minute, Calvin.

You're never going to finish this job by yourself. Maybe you should come to

terms with little John.

Look, Benson, the Hornets were not organized to make little John rich. The

idea behind this company is to give these kids a break. Without the Hornets,

most of them would still be on the streets.

I got news for you, Calvin. Most of them are back out on the streets picketing.

If you don't get this thing resolved, I mean, there'll be no Hornets to worry

about. Well, what am I supposed to do, cave in to these guys?

The Hornets are a business. Do what any business would do. Call all the parties

together and negotiate.

Well, I'll get a hold of little John and tell him.

Okay. Thanks, Benson. All right.

Well, did you fellows work everything out?

Well, not yet, but we're going to have a meeting and negotiate.

Oh, great.

I'm trying to get the living room painted, and you're trying to win a

Peace Prize.

Denise, I'm going to have that meeting with the Hornets now, and we're going to

need some lunch, so I'd appreciate it if you could get... Oh, excuse me, but...

Yeah, I did try, but no one was there. Yeah, I'll try to put the call through

later.

Sorry, you were saying, Benson?

Lunch, when everybody... Oh, yes.

There's no need for that. Benson's taking care of it right now.

Who is that?

Little John. He has some business to take care of, so he's using your phone.

Yeah, look, baby, I'll pick you up around 7 o 'clock.

We'll go out to dinner.

Spend a couple hours with you in my arm.

Little John, what do you think you're doing?

Shh, have a seat. I'll be with you in a minute.

Little John just contracted a case of lockjaw. He'll call you later from a pay

phone.

Hey, I ain't having no meeting with him sitting behind the desk.

Well, you're not sitting behind the desk. Neither of you are sitting behind

desk. I'm sitting behind the desk. It's my desk. You two are sitting there. Get

out. Did I miss anything, Little John?

What's he doing here?

You afraid to take me on yourself?

Hey, I'm not afraid of you. I'm not afraid of anybody.

Sit down.

But there are some people I respect.

Sorry I'm late.

I was tied up.

Cross, we are not interested in your private life.

Put it in a slot.

Now, let's get started.

Now, there are a few things that we can all agree upon.

One is that the Queen is coming in three days and we'll need to get the mansion

painted. Number two, the Hornets are contracted for that job. Number three,

would be in the interest and benefit of all concerned that the job be completed.

And number four, Calvin's walking all over the rest of the Hornets. I don't

think that's something we're all going to agree on. We'd be getting this job

done if you spend more time painting and less time mouthing off. Hey, wait a

minute, Calvin. We're all behind little John. He's got a point.

All right.

Everybody's aired their grievances. It's been a very productive meeting. Now,

let's get in there and paint that living room.

Thank you, Norma Ray.

We're not painting anything until Calvin listens to reason.

Little John, you're forgetting who's the boss of this operation.

Oh, right now, you're the boss of nothing.

This isn't negotiation.

This is arguing. I'm leaving. No one is leaving this room until I say so.

Yeah, you leave, it'll be over my dead body.

Ready, set, go.

Come on, guys, it's getting late. You making a decision?

You can come in now.

Get out of my chair.

We've come up with a proposal which I am now prepared to put on the table.

It better be good.

It's good and it's fair.

We're prepared to resume painting the mansion if you're prepared to give us

extra $2 an hour we asked for. That's not a proposal. That's what we started

with. Benson, Benson, take it easy.

Let me handle this.

Okay, you bozos.

Just what do you think you're doing?

I'm not interested in settling anything.

He's just on an ego trip.

Hey, wait a minute.

You're the one who thinks he runs everything.

Well, tell me, little John.

Who started the Hornet?

You started the street gang.

My salesmanship turned it into a reputable company. Hey, wait a minute,

John. We were all a part of that.

Whose side are you on anyway?

Uh, guys, I'm beginning to see the problem here.

Yeah, you can't trust Mr.

Clean. Little John, would you put your mouth in park for a minute?

See, Benson, it's an ego problem.

I agree. Both of you have ego problems. I heard that. I don't have an ego

problem. I'm too cool for that.

Trust me on this, little John, you have an ego problem.

Look, I'm willing to admit, my ego is involved here. I built this

And I'm not going to let some punk kid come in and destroy it. Wait a minute,

wait a minute. Maybe the problem here is the way you're seeing things.

Now, maybe he was a little punk kid when he came into the organization, but he

certainly isn't anymore.

Yeah, I'm a wonderful human being.

A little hard to take, but certainly not a punk kid.

Look, Calvin, we've been making the same money for the last three years. We

deserve a raise, man.

Look, if I give you guys more money, I can't bring any new kids into the

organization. Come on, Calvin, give us a break.

That's what he's trying to tell you. He already gave you a break and you made it

pay off.

What do you mean?

How did I meet you?

I ripped off your briefcase.

Exactly, and now you're carrying one.

That's right, I'm on my way up the ladder.

I wish you'd move up that ladder with a can of paint.

Little John, you owe the Hornets.

I know that. Then why are you trying to put him out of business?

I'm not. I'm just trying to do something.

Be somebody.

Well, I can dig it.

Little John, you already are somebody. All the Hornets look up to you. You're a

born leader.

Thank you.

But now the way for you to lead is by example.

The Hornets gave you a break. Now it's time for you to go out there and

Is that what you want, Calvin?

Want me to leave?

If you think you're ready.

You can make it.

I know that.

But before you guys move on, you and Calvin talk to the other guys and finish

painting the mansion.

We can do that.

Solid.

All right. Let's do it, okay?

All right.

Thanks, Ben. Well,

Benson...

It took you long enough, but you finally solved the problem.

Yeah, yeah, I couldn't have done it without you, Kraus. I certainly would

to have tried.

Well, what do you say we turn in?

Not tonight, Kraus. I have a headache.

Well,

something has to be done. Her Majesty's arrival is imminent. The place is

crawling with painters. We're going to be the laughingstock of the colonies.

Clayton, haven't you forgotten something? What?

The American Revolution.

The Hornets are doing nothing but fooling around. The place is a shamble.

talked to Calvin an hour ago. He said everything was under control.

Under control. You call this under control?

When the gig is through and the rooms are new and the 16th with the queen, say

the work she sees was made to please by the one and only Mr. Clean.

Get down, get down.

Now hold the phone. You don't work alone.

The Hornets are a team.

So grab a brush. We're in a rush. We gotta split this thing.

Get down, get down.

Get down, get down. I am not fond of this.

Fine, next time we'll get Guy Lombardo to paint the mansion.

If they would paint instead of playing, they'd be gone by now.

Hey, it's not our aim to play a game. You got the Hornets wrong.

Yeah, we have a whole lot of fun. We get the job done. We just do it with the

song. Get down, get down.

Get down, get down.

Get down, get down.

Get down, get down. Get down, get down.

Get down, get down. Get down, get down. Get down, get down. Get down, get down.

Get down, get down. Get down, get down. Get down, get down. Get down, get down.

Get down, get down. Get down, get down. Get down, get down. Get down, get down.

Get down, get down. Get down, get down. Get down, get down. Get down, get down.

Get down, get down. Get down, get down. Get down, get down. Get down, get down.

Get down, get down. Get down, get down. Get down, get down. Get down, get down.

Get down, get down. Get down, get down. Get down, get down. Get down, get down.

Get down, get down. Get down, get down.

Why not? He has less than ten items.

Get out of here.

Okay, okay. Can't take a joke. Not that way, you nitwit.

Wipe it off with your handkerchief. Oh, yes, yes.

My suit.

You've also got some on your nose. What, where?

Ladies and gentlemen, Her Majesty.

Oh, this is terrible.

Excuse me, your royal hiney.

What are we going to do now?

Well, I don't know about you, but I'm not kissing her hand.

It's a very simple recipe.

Two eggs.

One cup sugar. Oh, what am I doing? Of course, you can read English.

I never let my original recipes out of my kitchen, but you could copy it if you

like.

Krauss, can I see you for a moment, please?

Sure.

Excuse me, please.

Yeah? Are you aware that her security people are looking all over for her?

Sorry, Benson, we were just having a little chat. It seems the Queen and I

quite a lot in common.

What could you possibly have in common with the Queen of England?

Well, she may be a queen, Benson, but underneath it all, she's still a woman.

Like I said, what on earth could you possibly have in common with the Queen

England?