Original subtitles

Oh, Kraus, have you seen Pete?

Kraus? Get lost, Benson. I'm trying to think.

I admire people who take things up late in life.

Well, it just so happens that I am going to become famous. Do you know who

Barbara Cotland is or Helen Van Slyke?

Yeah. She can write those gooey love stories.

Those gooey love stories sell millions and millions of copies.

So if they can do it, you can too.

Yeah. I have already started to write.

About what?

About 350 pages.

Krauss, I meant the story.

It's a story about all the things I've done in my lifetime.

You can call it Tales of the Unnatural.

Thanks. Benson, do you buy your groceries at the Golden Egg markets?

Yeah. Are you collecting the game stickers for the Paradise Sweet Fix?

No, I thought I'd get to Paradise by leading a virtuous life.

Well, good, then you can let me have your stickers. I only need one more to

a vacation house on Maui. Hey, I'm trying to create here. Would you two

west until your hats fit?

I love the way the Europeans have enriched our language.

Well, I'll see you later. Hey, wait a minute. Aren't you going with me for

speech? Well, Benson, to tell you the truth, I'd rather not go into that

neighborhood. It's a high -crime area.

Well, what are you worried about? You ain't got nothing they want.

Yeah, that's the problem. When they find out that you don't have anything, they

get nasty.

Well, that is true.

But you'd be passing up a free lunch. Nah, it's not worth the risk.

I guess that neighborhood's worse than I thought it was.

Don't guess that.

I have finished the first page of my book.

Great, then you only got $349 to go.

Give me a break. I've never done this before. It's my first time.

Are you talking to me or is that a quote from your book?

see anybody no man i haven't seen anybody for weeks come on come

on black kid about this tall jeans bandana carrying a briefcase hey that

description could fit anybody huh then you won't mind if i look around it's

life man what hey man we're the hornets a well -known street gang and it should

read about us in the sunday supplement no i didn't read about you in the sunday

supplement i want no trouble out of you guys i just want my briefcase

I thought this was the radio.

Hey, what's going on here?

You want to tell him?

Nothing.

I was making a speech across the street, and as I was getting in my car, your

young friend here snatched my briefcase. You ripped his briefcase, Johnny?

Yeah, Cal, it was just sitting there on the sidewalk.

What'd you expect it to do, get on the bus?

Give it back.

I said give it back.

You want to press charges?

No, I got my briefcase. That's good enough for me. Forget it. I'm going to

a few of my own. Johnny, turn in your jacket.

Jacket? Yo, Cal, don't come down on me like that.

Hey, look, you know the rules, little John. Enter my office. I'll talk to you

later.

It's a jive briefcase anyway.

Hold on.

Still ain't told me your name.

My name is Benson Dubois. I'm Calvin Walker, president of the Hornet.

Sorry about little John.

Hey, man, haven't I seen your picture in the paper?

Don't you work for the governor? Is that right?

Yeah, I'm the state budget director. Budget director, huh?

What's that?

That's the man with the money.

You know, you ain't exactly our best friend down here, cutting off the youth

employment program.

What you got against kids making a buck?

Hey, you know, I'm sure glad he stole my briefcase, otherwise I'd be missing all

this abuse.

I was just asking you a straight question.

If your funds got cut off, I'm sorry, but that's no reason to go around

stealing. We don't steal.

Whoa, hold on.

The Hornets are a neighborhood organization made up of kids who need

vocational direction.

Now, I restructured it. I run it. And I don't stand for no stealing, fighting,

mugging, or none of that. Then Little John is freelancing.

Hey, look, man, I can't watch every kid in the neighborhood.

Some of them are going to do wrong. Now, that's for sure. But it ain't no

different down here than it is up there where you are.

Sometimes things don't work out right.

But it all runs on trust and faith in people. We work.

Refinishing furniture?

Washing cars? Painting apartments?

Yeah, self -employment for teenagers.

Okay, I stand corrected.

We got something good started down here. But hey, I don't know how long I can

hold it together without some help, Mr. Budget Director.

Yeah, like can't you give us some jobs or something? Unfortunately, I don't

any furniture refinished.

Oh, man, like I hear on the tube. You know, government jobs.

That's right, like building aircraft carriers and nuclear weapons.

Well, you're going to need a bigger clubhouse for that. Well, he's got an

there. I mean, ain't there something small we can do?

Look, the state has contracts which come up for bid all the time. Why don't you

look into it? If you see something you can do, apply for it. Yeah, man, but

kind of jobs would I have open now? I'll send you a list, huh?

And I'll also send you some pamphlets on how to submit a proposal.

Oh, we can do that.

What's a proposal?

A proposal is where you write down what you're going to do and how much you're

going to charge for it.

I'll tell you what, Benson.

I'll go back with you and pick up those pamphlets in person just so you don't

forget. I'm glad you thought of that, Calvin.

Otherwise, I'd have had to tie a string around my finger.

As Brunhilde stood on the mountainside listening for the sound of Lance's

Malvolio...

She prayed tonight would be the night.

She stood there waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting.

I think she's waiting too long.

Hi, Miss Krause. Oh, hi, Katie.

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm sort of writing a book.

Can I read it?

Um, I don't think so, Katie. This is a book about adults.

Little Women's about adults. They made us read that.

Yeah, but the little women in Little Women didn't have to protect their

from the little men.

Are you writing one of those sexy books?

Um, I'll let you know when I'm finished.

Great, I'll be old enough to read it by then.

Hi, Katie. Ross.

Hi. This is Calvin Walker.

Hi. What's happening?

Not much, just laying low. Later.

She's been watching Soul Train.

This is Miss Krause.

I am head of household affairs.

How you doing, Mama?

I am not your mama.

You don't know how lucky you are.

Why don't you grab yourself a cup of coffee? I'll go get the pamphlets.

Thanks.

I'll get the coffee.

So, what is the Hornets?

A softball team?

Now, a street gang.

A street gang, uh -huh.

Well, you don't do a very good job.

The streets are full of potholes.

One strange lady.

I hear you.

Keep calm.

Keep calm. I'm not going to give you any trouble.

Well... I'll give you all my valuables.

I'll give you everything I own.

You don't know who I am. Right.

Right. I have no idea what you look like.

I couldn't identify you if my life depended on it. I came in here with

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Please don't misunderstand. You see, I was mugged recently by a black...

Not that I think all blacks... people. I

like black people.

My sister went to school with one.

I know where you're coming from, man. It's cool.

Oh, Benton, Benton, I am so happy to see you.

Why?

Well, I've just been having a little chat, a rap, with my

man.

who'll tell you everything you need to know.

Thanks, Benson.

Charmed to have met you.

What was that all about?

Nothing. I almost made a complete fool of myself.

Well, practice makes perfect.

You wanted to see me?

Oh, yeah, Pete.

I went shopping last night and picked up a couple of these game stickers.

Oh, great.

Benson, thanks.

Hey, wouldn't it be neat if I won that house on Maui?

You don't really think anybody ever wins those games, do you? Come on, Benson.

You've seen those people on TV.

Some guy wins $300 ,000.

A couple wins matching K cars.

An old lady in Florida wins a snowmobile.

And you think those are real people?

Of course they're real people. You can tell from the dumb way they dress and

stupid things they say.

Well, then you shouldn't have any trouble winning at all.

Thanks, Benson.

Benson, I hope I'm not disturbing you, but I simply had to drop by. You

this morning when I told you your tax proposal was the dumbest thing ever

committed to paper?

Yeah. Well, I'd like to take that back.

It's okay, Clayton. It's a heat of the moment.

This is the dumbest thing ever committed to paper.

Was that your birth certificate?

No, this is a letter... Concerning our parking lot, which was forwarded to me

Mr.

Pearsall, head of building and maintenance.

Why are you bringing it to me?

Well, you're mentioned as a reference for Hornet and Company, and may I quote,

this dude named Benson told us we could have this parking lot gig if we wrote

this letter.

Let me see that.

Shocking, isn't it? The letter is rife with grammatical errors.

I never promised them a job. I just encouraged them to make a bid.

Well, then you won't mind being the one to tell them no.

Oh, now, wait a minute, Clayton, wait a minute.

Did you see this memo from the head of the department, Mr.

Pearsall? It says, and may I quote, this here is the most lowest bid.

Now, look, the fact that some low -level bureaucrat uses poor grammar is

irrelevant. Oh, now it's irrelevant.

Benson, I don't care if those kids offer to do the job for nothing. Thankfully,

you don't have the last word.

That old man, I can hear you all the way out in the hall.

Well, our apologies, Governor. We're just having a little disagreement about

parking lot maintenance contract.

Well, what's the problem? Well, Benson is suggesting that we hire a gang of

thugs. They are not thugs, sir. They are a group of young men who formed a

business. Business? They can do the job, sir. Any idiot can paint lines in a

parking lot. So now you're bidding for the job.

The question is, are they reliable?

Wait a minute, let me see if I have this. A group of young men who do

lot maintenance have formed a company. Well, they've never done this kind of

work before, sir.

Oh, I see. Well, it's a group of young men who have done work similar to this.

Well, not really similar. They've done, you know, car washing and part -time

work. Oh, but these men have formed a company.

Well, they're not really men. They're, you know, more like 17, 18.

Ah, so what we have is a bunch of teenagers with no experience who want us

give them a $35 ,000 contract.

But don't forget now, the money we'd be saving.

I don't know, Benson. I think we'd be much better off with an established

contractor. I'm sorry.

Benson, would it upset you if I said I told you so?

Yes, Clayton, it would. I told you so.

How you doing there, Benson?

Hey! Here's a clip in jazz for you.

Hey, Pete, what are you wearing?

Oh, it's a gold chain.

I'm wearing it instead of a tie.

I don't know, I kind of like it. It's got a little gold egg on it. Yeah.

Eighth prize in the sweepstakes.

Hey, really?

Let me see that.

Hey, that's him. A woman's necklace.

What are you talking about? It came with cufflinks.

Pete, those are earrings.

Who's going to notice, huh?

I'll see you later.

Hey, Benson.

Are we early?

No, fellas.

You're right on time. Come on in and have a seat.

So you got some word on our bid, huh? I sure do.

It turns you down.

Why are you always going to jerk us around?

No, I didn't jerk you around. You did that to yourself.

This proposal represents you. When people look at it, they're looking at

And what do they see?

Sloppy... You could have at least used a pen.

You can get one for 39 cents.

Yeah, I can get one for nothing.

What are you saying, Benson?

I'm saying, Calvin, that if you want to do business with the governor, you've

got to look like you mean business. You've got to approach the governor the

way the big corporations do.

You mean bribe him.

No, I mean pleasant conversation in a pleasant atmosphere.

Oh, you're saying wine him and dine him. Right.

We'll get him drunk.

Is his mother looking for him?

No. I'm not surprised.

So you're telling me that if we do all this stuff, we'll get the job?

I'm saying that if you make the same low bid in a professional manner, I

guarantee the governor will listen to you.

Guarantee?

Fellas, you do your part. I'll do mine.

Sure, your part's easy. All you gotta do is sit behind that desk. Will you cool

out, little John? The man is trying to help us.

Okay, guys, I gotta see some other people.

Uh, Calvin, when you're ready, you give me a call, and I'll arrange a meeting

with the governor. Okay.

Benson, you are right.

We're gonna make you an honorary hornet. Thank you. But when you give me my

jacket, put some sleeves in it, will you?

The dance was still alive, much to Brunhilde's relief.

Spell relief.

This another one of your trick questions?

No, it's for my book.

Relief. I before E except after C.

Oh, dummy. Even I know there is no C in relief.

Krause, did you ever consider tying a string around your neck?

What for?

Then you could rent your head out as a balloon.

I'm going to work in my room.

Who knows? This book could be a bestseller. I could make a million

my picture in People magazine.

I can see the caption now.

We are not alone.

Our governor, just the man I wanted to see. The Hornets would like to schedule

dinner meeting with you.

I thought we've already had this discussion.

We have, and we said no.

Clayton, for a man with few faults, you make the most of the ones you got.

Benson, as far as I'm concerned, the subject is closed.

Governor, I've done you a couple of favors over the last few years.

Yes, you have.

And on at least one of those occasions, did you not say to me, Benson, I owe you

one? Sir, you don't have to answer that. Oh, he's right, Clayton. Yes, I said

that. Well, sir, I'm calling one of those favors in.

I want you to come down and meet these young men. They deserve a chance to show

you what they can do.

All right, I'll do it as a personal favor.

Clayton, I'll walk you there, too.

Why me?

Yeah. Why him?

Is that them? Is that them? Of course it's them. How many white guys with

themes live in this neighborhood?

They're coming. They're coming.

Johnny, what you doing with that trunk? I'm going to announce the governor.

Class.

He's here.

Come in, your governorship.

away from the band?

Johnny.

Governor, I'd like you to meet Calvin Walker, president of the Hornets.

Good to know you, Calvin.

Glad you could make it, sir.

And this is Mr.

Clean, Pac -Man, Spider, and Little John.

That's Clean, that's Pac, Chicken Little, Jim.

Why don't we all sit down? Governor, if you will, right here. Oh, well, thank

you. Benson, over here, please.

I'm sorry, the third member of our group seems to be a little late.

Okay, let's party.

Hey, I got some pretty nice stuff we can pass around.

Oh, good, refreshments. I don't think you should have any.

It's only wine.

What kind of wine?

Peach. Peach wine?

We also have beer for our guests. Oh, good, I'll have a beer. Make that two.

I'll get it.

Too bad nobody wants wine. My grandfather was up on that making it.

Oh, you have a real nice place here, Calvin.

Yeah, it's all right.

We still have to kill a few rats down there.

I suppose this would be a bad time to ask what we're having for dinner.

We have a chicken. Is that cool?

Oh, I love chicken.

I used to have one as a pet.

Governor Benson.

in. Join the party.

What is this, Clayton?

Preppy punk?

I just wanted to blend in.

Well, we're just getting together. We're not doing West Side Story.

All right.

Dinner is served.

Okay, now, we've got original recipe and extra crispy.

We're in luck. They didn't cook.

Okay, here's the beers.

I also brought the wine in case anybody wants one. Oh, I'll have the wine.

What vintage is it?

Tuesday.

And after studying the rate of flow of vehicular traffic in and out of the

under discussion, the best time for us to perform our services is between the

hours of 4 and 7 a .m.

Any questions?

Yeah, is there any more chicken?

This dude ate all the white meat.

You said you didn't like extra crispy.

Here, boy.

Now, shut up.

Governor, do you have any problems?

No, no, no, I'm fine, Benson. I filled up on mashed potatoes.

No, I meant with the presentation.

Oh, no, no, it's good.

Well, sir, it was an excellent presentation, but the fact remains they

lacking in experience.

Well, that's a point to be considered.

And we have no guarantee that their work will be acceptable.

Okay, okay, look.

We'll make a deal with you.

You give us a tryout. If you like our work, we get the contract.

If you don't, I'll you pay for his materials.

Uh -huh. Now, that is an interesting proposition.

Yes, yes, it is, Clayton. Governor, I don't think you should make a deal like

that. What?

You don't? No, I don't. This state has never done things on a trial basis.

Now, these young men have made an excellent presentation, and the price is

right. The rest is up to you. You either accept the bid or you don't. But,

Benson, they've never done anything like this before.

Well, sir, with all due respect, before the people elected you, had you been

governor before?

Well, that is hardly the same thing. Well, it's exactly the same thing,

Somebody had to give all of us the first chance.

He has a very good point, Clayton. We all need a chance. Yeah, but, sir, I...

would be proud to give Hornets and Company their first chance.

Gentlemen, you have a deal.

Thank you,

Governor. Thank you, Governor.

Hey, wait, wait, wait a minute.

I think everybody here owes me a vote of thanks. For what?

Benson's briefcase, none of this would have happened.

Well, I don't think you should make that the company motto.

Anybody want dessert?

Got a whole box of ding -dongs.

Yeah, let's play some pool.

We can turn on the radio and, you know, just hang out.

The governor is a very busy man.

Gee, that sounds like fun.

Who always had time for his constituents.

Well, in that case, rack up the balls, turn up the lights, shoot me a cue, I'm

hot to nuts.

Put me a cue, I'm hot tonight.

Did I do that right?

I have a distinct impression I'm being hustled. Go with your instincts, baby.

How's that wine?

It's a bit naive, but the bouquet has a charming impertinence.

I'm giving it a shot.

Oh, I don't think I'll ever get this street rap.

It's easy, Governor.

Ready, guys?

One, two, three, four. First you choose your theme, then you set the scene. That

gets you in the groove. Then you start to clap. It will help you out. It gets

you. Get down, get down.

Get down, get down.

I'm so glad it all worked out. Y 'all got some decent shots.