Original subtitles

Five, five, six, seven, four, nine.

Five, five, five, six, seven, four, nine. What does this stock market

mean? Five, five, five. Up two. Two.

Down three.

Three. Up one, down two.

Up.

What do you think? Should I invest in stocks or in gold?

Invest in a muzzle.

Or should I take a flyer on a chinchilla ranch?

Would you be living at the ranch?

You know what the irony is? If I had put my money into Polaroid stock 30 years

ago, you know where I'd be today?

You'd be bugging James Garner instead of me.

Hey, Vincent, thanks for the new office. It's great.

Glad you like it. Ah, you know, now that you mention it, I'm not too fond of

that furniture.

It's the same furniture you had before?

Yeah, but I didn't have a fancy office then. You don't have a fancy office now?

I would if I had better furniture.

All right, all right.

The extra furniture's in the basement. Choose what you want, and I'll have

somebody move it up here.

Fantastic. Miss Krause, you're all out of cookies.

I'll be in the basement.

How can I stop him from eating everything?

How good are you with a bow and arrow?

Did you just feel the building shake?

Probably a truck driving by.

No, I'm sure I felt the earth move.

Maybe you're just in love.

Hi, Miss Krause.

Hi, Neptune.

See, Daddy, there's another one.

Another what?

Earthquake? Don't be silly, Katie. This isn't California.

No, Katie's right, Benson. It was on the news this morning. We've been

experiencing increased seismic activity.

Is that another way of saying that the ground's going to open up and swallow

Oh, it's nothing that serious. We get these little shakers every 20 years or

They never amount to much. The worst damage I ever heard of was when I was in

high school. Old Man Norton's outhouse collapsed.

He wasn't hurt, but...

They never did find his pocket watch.

Thank you for sharing that.

Morning, everybody.

Hi, Marcy. Oh, Marcy, I'll be in my office.

Marcy, how's the dentist?

Oh, he's fine.

Nobody was drilling in his mouth.

Did you feel the earthquake?

Can't feel a thing. I'm shot full of Novocaine.

Did you say earthquake?

Hello?

Oh, hello, Clayton.

Oh, what cabinet you looking at?

Never mind. I'll be right there.

Clayton needs me in the supply room.

Uh, Marcy, we moved the supplies to Pete's old office.

Who is Pete?

Just follow the crumbs.

Ah, you took your own sweet time getting here.

Well, if you wanted O .J. Simpson, you should have asked for him.

I don't need to rent a car. I need staples for my stapler.

What size?

What do you mean, what size?

Staple size.

So you don't know the size?

All right, just give me some paperclips.

You're in the wrong cabinet.

There it is again.

There what is again?

We've been having some more tremors.

Tremors? Where did you hear that?

From Katie. Oh, out of the mouths of babes into the ears of boobs.

Oh, she told you too, huh?

May I just have my paperclip?

Well... I should be over here in this mess somewhere.

Well, listen, the least you could do, man, is help me pick this up.

Oh, are you going to help me draft the consumer rights bill?

Well, you're the one that wanted the paperclips. No, I wanted staples. I am

settling for paperclips. Listen, Clayton, I know things get tough around

and you are under a lot of pressure. So if you ever need a friend, buy a dog.

I'm a little fed up of these wisecracks and innuendos. Clayton, why don't you go

back to your office? I'll send you the paperclips. And how long will that take?

Well, if I bring them myself, it'll take a couple of minutes. But since I'm

going to mail them, allow six weeks for delivery.

I think it's over.

Is that what you call a little shaker, sir?

Is everybody okay?

Yeah. I certainly hope that's the last one.

We're going to get in touch with Silver to pass it. Why did we have to hide

under the table?

So nothing would fall on us. The table could fall on us.

The phones are dead.

Oh, no.

Pete, are you okay?

Yes, go away. We just had an earthquake.

Didn't you feel it?

Well, yeah.

Yeah, but I thought I did.

You see, this rug was under a stack of furniture. When I pulled it out,

everything went kablooey.

Hey, we got a heck of a mess in the basement.

All right, don't anybody panic.

We'll have the governor out in no time. Captain McDermott, I'm right here.

Oh, good, sir.

We thought you were in your office.

That section of the old wing was cut off by the cave -in.

The cave -in? Where? The hallway leading to the annex, sir.

Oh, talk about luck. My office used to be right there.

My Lord Benson is in there.

He went to the supply room. I think Clayton's in there, too.

We'll dig him out, sir.

The fire department's already on the way. Captain McDermott, I'm going to

to have some phones set up here. We'll make the kitchen our command post. You

got him, sir. Pete, get in touch with maintenance and tell them to shut off

gas and make sure we have an emergency power hookup. Right. Watch my rub.

Oh, Marcy, see if you can scout up a portable radio. Yes, sir. There's one in

room, Marcy. All right.

I'll clean up this mess.

Daddy, are Vincent and Clinton going to be all right?

Honey, the sooner we can get things organized, the sooner we can get to

Daddy, you didn't answer my question.

Are they going to be all right?

Don't worry, honey.

Oh, no.

Benson, we're trapped.

Come and give me a hand.

Benson.

goodness, you're alive.

What happened?

It was an earthquake, just like you said. It was incredible.

Everything shook. The ceiling started to fall. Look at this place. It's a mess.

Uh, Clayton, have you noticed this large object lying on top of me? Yeah, I

tried to lift it. It's too heavy.

Oh.

Maybe you should get some help.

I can't do that, Benson. The phone is dead. The door is jammed. We're trapped

here. You think you're hurt?

I'd hate to feel this way and be all right.

Uh, maybe you can get some leverage on this thing.

Benson, I majored in political science, not engineering.

I realize that in this particular situation, it seems like a frivolous

but all my friends were taking it. How was I to know you were going to be

depending on me one day? Yeah, well, calm down, please. You're going to be

right. Ah, I've got it, my belt.

What are you going to do, hang yourself?

Now, if I only had a pulley.

If you only had a brain.

I am doing my best. If you would offer some suggestions instead of constantly

criticizing, maybe we could get you out of there.

I have a suggestion.

Put your belt back on before your pants fall down.

Oh, oh, I found the board. I found the board.

We're rich.

We're rich.

I am going to take this board.

I am going to slip it under the cabinet.

Then, using the power of leverage, I am going to lift the cabinet so that you

can slide out from under it. Could you cut the lecture short and just do it?

All right. All right, now.

Here goes.

Okay, easy. Easy, man. All right.

Okay, okay.

Hurry, Benson. This is heavy.

Tell me about it.

Here. You got it? Yeah, I'm out.

Watch it. Watch it. Thank you. Thank you.

I thought sure I was going to drop that on you. So did I.

But I didn't panic.

I remained clear -headed.

I want you to know that I appreciate it.

And now you're fine, right?

Right. No broken bones.

Good.

Because there's something I have to do. What's that?

over at the university.

The quake was centered right there in the Miller's Lake area.

Any idea of the extent of the damage?

Yes, sir. The fire department estimates we've lost power and water to half the

city. In the business district, it's mostly inventory damage.

And the trailer park where I live no longer has easy access to Highway 14.

What's the word on Benson and Clayton?

We ran into a little luck there, sir. The engineer tells me if they're in the

supply room, they're probably all right.

Probably? How long will it be before you can get them out? That's hard to say.

We have to work very slowly. We move the wrong thing. Have to get those guys out

of there with a spatula.

You'll have telephones very shortly, sir. I contacted my brother -in -law

at the phone company. He doesn't like me, but he's afraid of me.

Captain McDermott certainly is his own man.

Who else would have him?

If I ever get out of here alive, I'm never going to make fun of coal miners

again.

Shh.

I haven't said anything.

Shush.

Listen. Do you hear that?

Sounds like digging.

They're coming for us. We're saved. We're in here.

We're in here.

Shh. Don't shush me.

You shushed me.

I'm the chief of staff.

Listen.

I don't hear anything.

That's what I mean.

They're not coming for us.

Clayton, things are bad enough without you falling apart.

I am not falling apart. I'm just handling it badly.

You've been in tough situations before, haven't you?

Once. When I was 11, I was trapped on top of a Ferris wheel with my older

brother, Darwin.

Darwin? I was a nervous wreck.

But you got through it, right?

Only because he sang to me.

He always sang to me when I was scared.

Your brother Darwin sang.

You don't suppose you can sing to me, Benson? Get out of here.

Please, Benson, I helped you, now you help me.

I'm not going to sing, fool.

All right, it doesn't matter.

Nothing matters.

It's all over.

I'll find myself on that earth.

Slower.

me personally.

It was a fire truck.

You shouldn't have left that bicycle in the driveway. I am going to complain to

the fire department, and I want you as a witness.

Well, I don't think I can do that. Why not?

I was kind of involved.

Involved how?

I was the guy who said, come on back.

Now they're clearing the rubble out of the old annex. Oh, that's good.

Governor.

Governor's mansion.

Oh, yes, just one minute, please. Governor, it's Mr. Grundy, the

the bulldozers. Oh, Henry, we asked you to make some of your bulldozers

available to us.

No, we can't pay you in advance.

All right, I'm willing to listen. Governor's Mansion.

Oh, yeah, one minute, please. Governor, it's Washington.

Oh, Henry, explain this to my assistant, Miss Hill. I have Washington on the

other line. Right.

Yes, Governor Gatling speaking. Hello, Mr. Grundy. This is Marcy Hill.

No, I can't sign checks for the governor. Why?

Yes, you heard right. An earthquake.

What do you mean? Describe it to you. Turn on the news.

Yeah, Governor's Command Post. Yes, she's right here.

Slow down, Mr.

Grundy. Hey, Marcy, it's Bishop somebody or other? Mr. Gurney, I'm going to give

you a Mr.

Downey. He'll be glad to work things out with you. Hey, what's the problem?

Hello, Bishop.

Well, I am the governor of the state. Why would I make this up?

Gretchen, could you get this?

Bishop, we need to put about 100 carts in your gymnasium. Hello.

Well, couldn't you have basketball practice another day?

No, I didn't know St. Mary's was a powerhouse. Yes, this is a governor's

mansion. Well, since when are you cutting back on disaster relief?

Reuters news service from London.

No, no. You didn't get the wrong numbers. This is America.

Pete, it's for you. Reuters. Hang on. I'm giving it to our bulldozer expert.

Good luck.

Hello, this is Pete Downey. Hello. Bishop, I see your problem.

Granville? That's your first name?

What can I do for you? Well, I can't fill out the forms until I have the

to fill out.

All right, fine.

Talk to your supervisor, all right?

Hello? Of course I understand basketball. I'm a former All -State

I want. You better talk to him. Okay, you talk to Mr.

Grundy. Hello?

Oh, I'm still here. I didn't go anywhere.

It's Kenny Gatling, Mr. Grundy. I'm in the fifth grade with your daughter,

Tracy. Stop whispering.

I can barely hear you. I didn't know we were big news in England.

Hey, let me ask you something. What do you think of this check the prince is

marrying?

Okay, Mr. Grundy, you do whatever you think is right about the bulldozers.

still be Tracy's friend.

Of course, I don't know about the other kids.

No, I'm still here. What does your supervisor say?

Oh, he's sending you personally. Good. I want to meet you.

What's my address? I'm in the book.

I still cannot hear you. Why are you huffing and puffing?

Why should I describe to you what I am wearing?

Oh, thanks again, Bishop. And when they deliver the cots, I'll have the National

Guard wear sneakers.

Okay, bye -bye.

Well, my question is, if he's a prince, why does he bother marrying anybody?

Hello?

Dayong up.

Gee, Mr. Grundy, I think you made a good decision.

I'll be sure to tell everybody.

Goodbye. Oh, Katie, I wanted to talk to Mr. Grundy about some bulldozers.

Oh, that's okay, Daddy. He's still in the cabin for free.

Free? It's amazing what a little guilt can do.

It's been seven hours. We might as well face it. They're not coming for us.

They may not be coming for you, but they're coming for me.

For all we know, everything outside this room has been destroyed. You and I

could be the only ones living.

Then this is the end of mankind as we know it.

I wonder what it's like to go mad.

Surely you remember.

I really feel like I'm losing it.

Do you want to sing some more songs?

No, I'm all sung out. You go ahead if you want to.

Clayton, you know those people out there are doing everything they can to get to

us. It's just gonna take time.

Oh, I hope they get here before we starve to death.

You're not gonna starve to death. It's only been seven hours.

Yes, but I skipped breakfast this morning.

So did I. And you're not hungry?

Well, I am now, talking about all this food.

I'm not talking about food. I am talking about starving.

And that implies food.

No, it implies a lack of food.

Which is the very subject I didn't want to bring up, so drop it.

Fine.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

When I was looking for the staples, I noticed something. It looked like a

Christmas gift.

Great. That's all we need is a tie.

Thanks. Thanks. And look.

Champagne.

and party hats.

Not even a bad year.

Well, let's open it up. Now, now, now, now, now, Benson.

There's a right way and a wrong way to do everything.

Oh, oh.

Well, it's the right way.

Hiya, Marcy.

Where's the governor?

He'll be right back. He's talking to the press.

Well, I guess these reports can wait till he gets back.

Care to join me in a cup of joe?

Excuse me?

Coffee. Would you like a cup?

Oh, yeah, please.

Looks like it's going to be a long night.

You know, for somebody who's just been through an earthquake, you're looking

pretty good.

Thank you. Of course.

To me, you always look pretty good.

Any more damage reports come in?

You know, basically, I'm a shy guy.

You know the kind, strong and silent.

Silent sounds appealing.

Look, Marce, I'm not one of those young kids just out for a cheap thrill.

Captain McDermott. Call me Dennis.

What I'm getting at is, if we ever get out of this mess, how'd you like to go

out and tip a couple of brewskis together?

Maybe dance a slow dance or two.

Captain McDermott, I am a married woman.

Oh, I didn't know that.

Did you know you're a married man?

Yeah.

Sorry.

Guess it's just the tension and the pressure.

Started to think of myself as Charlton Heston.

Excuse me?

Well, he always makes out during a natural disaster.

It's been kind of a dream of mine.

Well, wake up.

Right, right.

But I'm a lot like Heston, you know.

Tall, tough, together.

We even have the same hair.

You know what they used to call me in Korea?

What's Korean for chicken?

There's a couple of things about you, Clayton, that just drive me up a wall.

I'm pompous, officious, smug, duck up.

You hit the top four.

There was a time when I was very popular.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.

At Princeton, they used to call me Mr.

Funhouse.

went to a lecture with my pants on backwards.

You don't think that's funny?

Probably was.

Probably?

Don't you get it? I get it. He's a guy with his pants on backwards.

I don't think you really get it.

Maybe if you saw it.

Forget it, baby. I don't think it's going to be funny.

Well, there it is, Benson.

That's our relationship in a nutshell.

We'll never get along.

We're from two different worlds.

Right, I'm from Earth.

Now, see?

I don't think that's funny.

You and your sarcastic remarks.

Well, I'll... Don't get sarcastic until you get overbearing. I only get

overbearing when things aren't done right.

So you think I'm incompetent.

Benson, I think you're very good at your job.

You never tell me.

Fine.

Benson, you do a hell of a job.

You really mean it? Cross my heart and hope to die.

Now.

You tell me that I do a hell of a job.

Sure, sure.

You've got no problem with that. You do a hell of a job.

Thank you.

Benson, I'd like to propose a toast.

Another one?

To Benson.

I like it so far.

To Benson, a man I admire and respect.

Thank you.

Now you toast.

To Benson, a man I admire and respect.

Now that's funny.

Clayton's not a bad guy. I think something must have hit you in the head.

It was probably Clayton.

Benson, the wallpaper you chose for the hallway shows excellent taste.

Thank you. No, thank you.

You're welcome.

See? Maybe something hit Clayton in the head.

I think I just witnessed a miracle.

No, you just don't understand him.

Benson, I just saw the new carpeting you selected for the entranceway.

Makes the place look like a cheap Hawaiian hotel. Fix it.

On the other hand, maybe there are two of them.