All language subtitles for Benson s02e16 Clayton Go Home

Morning, Cross. How you doing? Oh, I'm
tired, Benson. I had a nightmare last

night and I couldn't get back to sleep.

Did you ever have a dream where you were
frightened by something and you tried

to run away but your legs wouldn't move?

Yeah, the whole time I was in the army.

Then last night, I dreamed that I fell
into a pit of alligators.

You can guess what happened next.

They tried to run away but their legs
wouldn't move.

Morning. Morning, Marcy.

Morning, Marcy. What time did you get
out of here last night?

Oh, sometime after nine. I still haven't
finished typing up Clayton's memos to

the staff.

Oh, that reminds me. Clayton sent me a
memo about keeping the lids on the

garbage cans.

Good grief. If the man doesn't let up
soon, I'll have to get a bigger

wastebasket. Well, he hasn't stopped
dictating since he got that dumb tape

recorder. I'm practically chained to my
typewriter.

Marcy?

I thought you'd be at your desk.

She tunneled out when you weren't
looking.

Speaking of desks, Benson, I've been
meaning to talk to you about yours.

Oh, do you like it?

Obviously,

you didn't get my memo on neatness.

I got it. I just can't find it.

Put out a memo regarding the
disregarding of memos. Now see what you

Now, I don't like to pull rank, Benson,
but I am the chief of staff, and I would

hope to see this desk in order by five o
'clock.

Then you better get started on it.

Now, Benson, surely you're bright enough
to realize that you are perilously

close to defying a direct order.

Close? I thought I was right on the
money.

Would you care to repeat that so that I
can play it back for the governor?

Why, is he bored with his Doobie Brother
records?

Memo to the governor.

Clayton, give me a break, would you? If
you have something to say to the

governor, why don't you just go in and
talk to him?

Memo to the governor concerning my
luncheon meeting with Richmond Airlines.

Oh, Clayton, there you are. Yeah, I'll
be right with you, sir. I'm just in the

midst of... Oh, yes, I'll do that later,
sir.

I wanted to remind you you're having
lunch with Richmond Airlines today, and

want you to tell them from me that my
position is unchanged, that I'm moving

ahead with that noise abatement bill.

I'll tell them, sir.

A memo to myself.

reiterate governor's position on noise
pollution.

If the governor wants to stop noise
pollution, he should get rid of

tape recorder.

If he wants to stop air pollution, he
should get rid of Clayton.

Look, sir, I don't want you to make a
big thing out of this. Now, I can handle

it myself. Pete, I can't afford any
friction between key members of my

Now, the sooner the air is cleared, the
better.

I got here as soon as I could, sir. Oh,
it's not all that important, Benson. Why

don't we just forget it? Forget what?

Pete has leveled a rather serious
allegation, Benson. Not really. It just

out that way. He's accused you of
letting the air out of his tires.

Is that true?

Yes, sir.

All four tires?

Yes, sir.

And the spare.

Wasn't all that much air in the spare
tire anyway.

Why do you suppose you did that, Benson?

Well, sir, I gave him a word and I
wouldn't want to go back on it.

Oh, no, no, you shouldn't. But what did
Pete do to make you live up to your

agreement? Well, I've been parking my
car in his space, sir.

Oh, how often? Every chance he gets.
It's close to the door. And I'm in and

a lot. I see. Well, Benson, why don't
you park in Pete's space?

No, I don't want to.

Besides, his space is under a tree. And
birds live in that tree.

an interesting way of saying, hi there.

Excuse me for barging in, sir, but Marcy
told me you were here with Benson, so I

knew it couldn't be too important.

An extraordinary thing happened at
lunch.

You picked up the check.

The representative from Richmond
Airlines tried to bribe me.

Bribe you to do what?

To influence you not to sign the noise
abatement bill.

Oh, this is big.

Are you sure it was a bribe? Sir, he
showed me the money.

Did you take it?

Don't be silly, Benson. What do you take
me for?

An amateur.

Without the cash, you've got no
evidence.

Yes, but I have this.

You see, when I realized what our friend
from Richmond Airlines was leading up

to, I surreptitiously hit the record
button. You mean you have the bribe on

tape? I do, sir.

Exhibit A.

Well, I don't know whether it's
admissible in court, but set up a

the Attorney General for five and give
him that, and I want to be there. Sir.

Come on, Pete. We'll be late for that
press conference. Fine, sir. Maybe we

stop and pick up a tire pump on the way
back.

Set up meeting with Attorney General.

Well, well, I'm impressed.

Nice work, Clayton.

What did you say?

I said nice work, Clayton.

Benson, you cannot imagine what those
words mean to me. Not just that you were

able to bring yourself to say them.

but that I was able to record them.

Nice work, Clayton.

Thank you, Benson.

Nice work, Clayton. Oh, thank you so
much, Benson.

Nice work, Clayton. Oh, you're such a
nice man.

Marcy, you got those payroll records
ready yet? Not yet. Hang on a second.

Hey, have you seen the paper?

Look at this.

Governor's aide grounds Richmond
Airlines.

Says here the Attorney General has
scheduled Clayton to testify on the

It's a terrible picture of Clayton.
Yeah, it looks just like him.

Good morning, everyone.

I take it you've seen the paper.

Yes, along with a quarter of a million
other fortunate people.

Governor's office.

Yes, he is. Just a minute. It's for you,
Mr. Humble. Ah, they're calling

already.

Clayton Endicott here.

What? What? Who is this?

Hello?

Oh, no.

Who was it? I don't know. He said
something about Miami being a beautiful

safe place to be, especially on the 17th
of the month.

17th? The day you're supposed to
testify, Clayton. Sounds like they made

offer they don't want you to refuse.

Uh -oh, we're talking threat here. We're
talking cement overshoes. We're talking

so long, stoolie.

Really? I wouldn't laugh this off,
Clayton.

Till you find out who that was, you
better have Pete start your car in the

morning. Right.

What?

Wait a minute. You guys are putting him
on, aren't you? You don't know who

Clayton is up against.

Richmond Airlines.

Yeah, but who owns Richmond?

National Unified, a legitimate
corporation.

Which is owned by Petrolux
International, a subsidiary of a

owns a Semicorp?

Nobody really knows, but their holdings
include racetracks, slap machines,

massage parlors, and a string of
Hungarian restaurants.

You better keep a low profile, like
under your desk.

Let's just end this discussion and get
back to work.

It's a good idea.

I gotta update your obituary.

Really, one crank phone call and Peter
starts plotting Godfather 3.

Well, I'm not going to let you people
get to me. Make sure none of them get to

you.

Now, don't be flip, Benson.

After all, we know your real feelings.

Nice work, Clayton.

Thank you, Benson.

We'll put Marcy in here, I'll park
there, and we'll put Pete here.

Well, who parks under the tree?

Clayton.

That works for me.

This time, Richmond Airlines has gone
too far.

If they want to play dirty, I'll give
them dirty.

Calm down, Clayton. What are you talking
about?

Sir, I have been violated.

This morning, I went out jogging.
Someone ransacked my apartment, so I

security. Now they're ransacking my
apartment.

Whoever broke in must have been looking
for the tape.

I don't think so. They'd know the
Attorney General has the tapes. It was

news. I think what they're trying to do
is scare you off.

Dare they try intimidating me.

Beats eliminating you.

Yes, Marcy.

Oh, sir, any men?

Captain McDermott of security is here.

McDermott is on this case?

Clayton, take the trip to Miami.

Ready for debriefing, sir.

Well, Captain, have you finished
frisking my furniture?

For the time being, Clayton.

Any leads, Captain?

Not a one, sir.

We combed every inch of Clayton's
apartment.

We even went through his garbage.

What the hell are capers?

Captain, I would like a full report.

Well, there were orange peels, some
white fish, a couple of tea bags. No,

no.

I mean, what have you learned?

Well, based on the events of the last 48
hours, sir, we've come up with nothing.

But we do have a theory.

Somebody's after Clayton.

Who leaked that?

McDermott, we already figured that out.

Well, here's something you haven't
figured out, Benson. While checking

bureau draws, sir, we came across
something pretty strange.

You know those undershirts that you have
marked Sunday, Monday, Tuesday?

Yes. Well, Wednesday is missing.

Today is Wednesday.

accounts for it.

Anyway, sir, we'll have to double the
security on Clayton.

I want a man in his apartment 24 hours a
day.

No, but I'm not going to be a prisoner
in my own home. Well, we have full

security here in the mansion, so you can
live here under Captain McDermott's

protection. Sir, I do not need
protection.

I don't know about that, Clayton. I know
a guy wants to refuse protection. They

found him three months later in
Washington.

Washington, D .C. or Washington State?

Both.

Now, Benson, a man can't be found in two
places at once unless... Oh, dear.

Now you know what I'm talking about.

Yes, you're saying Clayton may end up in
the trunk of some car that's put

through a metal compactor, melted down
for scrap and made into a pippy.

A pippy?

What's a pippy?

It's a little wind -up mouse.

Katie has one. It runs along the floor
and then it spins.

I bet Clayton would be good at that.

I don't know anything about tippies, but
I do know we're dealing with

professionals here. You got hit men, ice
men, button men. First the phone call,

then the break -in. Next, bang, bang,
bye -bye.

Is Captain your nickname or what?

Back off, Benson.

All right. All right, Clayton, then it's
settled until after you've testified,

you'll live here in the mansion.

Sir, that's an order.

Very well, sir.

All right, I'll send a man over to pick
up your clothes, Clayton.

And, uh, don't worry.

I'll tell him you're wearing Wednesday.

You get the impression that McDermott is
still wearing Sunday?

Well, I'll tell you.

You've got to take them by the hair.

What happened?

Sat on my gun.

How was it?

Relax,

Benson, relax.

Guns don't kill, people kill.

Yeah, people with guns.

Oh, a liberal, huh?

No, allergic.

A gun won the West.

A gun held up a liquor store.

A strange attitude about weapons, fella.

Yeah, something I picked up in the Army.

Oh, you joined the Army, huh?

No, they sent me an invitation for a
little get -together they were having in

Korea.

You were in Korea? I served in Korea.

Call me Dennis, fella.

Ah, Korea, those were the days. You ever
miss it, Benson?

Miss it? I don't even watch MASH.

I better inspect the peeps and then I'm
off.

McDermott. Yeah.

You forgot your gun.

Thanks, Benson.

Go home without that. The little lady
will start asking questions.

Yeah, I can hear it now.

Dennis, where's your gun?

There is no pleasing Clayton. He does
nothing but complain.

Yesterday his toast was burnt. Today his
egg is cold. And it is all your fault,

Benson. What do you mean it's my fault?
You should have talked the governor out

of letting Clayton live here. I'm sick
and tired of serving him breakfast in

bed. Cross, let's look at it this way.
The first thing he sees every morning is

you.

What's the matter with that?

Nothing. It's what he deserves.

Is my lunch ready, Miss Craft?

Almost, Katie.

Benson, do you think Daddy would mind if
Connie Burke invited me to stay over

her house for a few days?

I don't know. When would you be back?

Once Clayton leaving.

Well, life has certainly changed since
Clayton's moved in.

I'd have been here early, but I spent 20
minutes trying to get past the gate

guard. You believe it? They searched my
car.

And don't tell me I should be grateful
just because they found my nail scissors

under the back seat.

McDermott confiscated them.

There you go, Katie.

Ready for another day at the mine.

Thanks, Miss Kraus. How am I trying to
get past the guards without them

searching my lunchbox?

Miss Kraus, I thought you were going to
bring me another egg, one that was

properly prepared.

How come I didn't get French toast?

Benson makes his own breakfast.

Oh.

Well, I must say, that looks... Very
good.

It is.

I don't suppose you'd consider... Hey,
Clayton,

this is for you.

Found it on the windshield of my car.

I guess somebody's trying to get to
Clayton through me.

It's a one -way ticket to Miami.

On Richmond Airlines, I bet.

Benson, this is no joking matter.

Oh, he knows that, Peter. After all,
this is the man who said...

We just spotted somebody trying to scale
the wall. I hope that sucker's packing

iron.

Well, uh, things have certainly taken a
melodramatic turn.

What do I do now?

Beats me.

They do know you're white, don't they?

Something about all this is bugging me.

McDermott says we're dealing with...
professionals, but a guy scaling the

in broad daylight doesn't make any
sense.

I just can't wait for this trial to be
over.

Stress is getting to you, huh?

No, Clayton is.

I don't like to say this about anybody,
especially a man who's so capable of his

job, but I'm afraid Clayton just isn't a
very nice person.

No.

Oh, I could be wrong.

This tea should be ready any minute. One
lump or two.

Ah, company.

Oh, Benson, look who's here, Clayton.

How nice.

I seem to have misplaced my tape
recorder.

I came down to look for it.

No matter.

I'll find it tomorrow.

Oh, boy, Sandman's coming.

Well, listen, it's time for me to turn
in. I'll see you, Governor, in the

morning. Clayton? Good night, Benson.

Brunson's right. It is getting a little
late. Better do some bunk duty. Good

night. Sleep tight, sir.

You saying that one of my chambermaids
took your stupid tape recorder?

Well, it's gone, isn't it? What other
explanation can there be?

Maybe you lost it. People lose things
all the time.

I am not people.

I was just saying the same thing to
Marcy.

I hold you equally responsible, Benson,
if you two cannot control the household

staff. I'd better get out of here before
I lose my temper and do something I'll

be sorry for.

Just a moment, Mr. House. Better let her
go. Oh, Clayton, last time Kraus lost

her temper, Switzerland mobilized.

Oh, here he is.

Clayton, this gentleman's here to see
you from the Attorney General's office.

Ruth Caldwell. Mr. Caldwell, this is
Benson, head of household affairs.

If you'll excuse me, I have to get back
to work. Me too. Well, it's a pleasure

to meet our star witness. What's this
all about?

I think I'll stick around a while. Well,
we're very concerned about the

attempted break -in. We think you're
much too visible here at the mansion.

Benson, do you, uh, do you need
something?

It'll keep.

So we're planning on moving you to a new
location.

Now. Now?

I haven't packed.

We'll send for your things later.

Very well.

Wait a minute, Clayton. Don't you want
to see this man's identification?

Benson, you are being very rude.

No problem.

There, you see?

No, I didn't. Mind if I take a closer
look at that ID?

Why, not at all.

That's close enough for me.

Until after the trial, we're going to
put you on ice.

On ice.

And you're coming along to keep him
company.

Moi? All right, it's all clear.

All right.

If you give us any trouble, and we're
not responsible for what happened, let's

walk. I said walk.

I am walking.

Oh, Clayton, do you have a moment?

Oh, I hope so.

Uh, Clayton's a little busy right now,
sir. This is Mr. Caldwell from the

Attorney General's office, and he's
taking Clayton to a new location.

Well, it's rather sudden, isn't it,
Clayton? Huh.

Has my cat got your tongue?

No, no, no, not a cat, sir. A mouse.

Pippi the mouse.

Uh, perhaps I should take the governor
to the new location with me. Oh, no, the

governor doesn't have time for that
either. Uh, he has to deal with the

McDermott Corporation.

I do? Yes, yes. You know, you were gonna
get the big McDermott together with all

the little McDermotts. Oh, uh...

Well, forget it, sir. We'll see you
later.

Governor, your letter to Senator Blaine
is ready for signature.

Oh, thank you, Marty.

Well, sir, if there's nothing else,
we'll be leaving. Just a minute, Mr.

Caldwell.

There you are, Marty.

Check that for spelling. Yes, sir.

So, Mr. Caldwell, you're from the
Attorney General's office.

Yes, sir. I wouldn't detain Mr.
Caldwell, sir. He's a busy man, very

about his work. Oh, well, Clayton, keep
in constant touch. I hope you have

plenty of dimes.

Dimes? For the telephone.

Isn't the telephone a wonderful
invention, Mr. Caldwell?

You never realize how much you rely on
it until suddenly you don't have one.

Now, just a minute, Benson. Do shut up,
please.

I remember back at the logging camp.

Mail call was always a very big event.
We'd hand out the letters to the men,

we had no way to contact the men who
were floating down the river on the

So we tried everything. We tried
semaphore. We tried smoke signals.

We tried carrier pigeons.

You name it, we tried it.

So finally, it dawned on us.

What did you do?

We set the hell with it.

Freeze!

Why not dare you?

Don't worry, Governor.

Everything's under control.

Marcy gave me your note. Good thinking,
sir.

Then you did get the hints I threw.

Get them? I thought they were going to
knock me over.

I thought you were going to blow the
whole thing, Benson.

Benson, how did you know these men were
imposters?

Well, look at their cop shoes. Even on
TV, they don't wear loafers with

I was on to them the minute they came
through the gate.

Then why didn't you stop them? Why
didn't I stop them? I'll tell you why,

Benson. Because in this country, a man's
innocent until proven guilty.

That's why the system doesn't work.

All right, pull them out.

Pull them out.

Oh, sir, I really must thank you for
coming to my aid. Oh, Benson's the man

should thank.

Oh, well, yes.

Of course, I plan to at an appropriate
time.

That is an appropriate time, Clayton.

Yes, sir Thank you, Benson I beg your
pardon Thank

you, Benson Oh, that is such music to my
ears

This time you've gone too far. I'm not
kidding around, Benson. I'm really sore.

Pete, it is perfectly safe for people
your size to get mildly annoyed, but

should never, never get really sore.

What is that, a short joke?

Come on, come on, let's step outside.

Oh, Pete, you don't want to do that.
Yes, I do. Pete, look at it this way.

me, it's a no -win situation. If I take
you outside and deck you, then I'm a

creep. If you, by some miracle, happen
to deck me, I...

I want to show you my car.

Oh, your car.

Oh, I know about your car.

Yeah, it's in a thousand pieces. I know.

Why did you take it apart?

I didn't touch your car. Talk to Captain
McDermott. What?

Captain McDermott? Why would Captain
McDermott take my car apart?

He got a tip you were smuggling illegal
contraband.

Let me ask you one last question. Where
did he get an idea like that?

Let me ask you one last question. Why
did you park in my space this morning?