Original subtitles

Again? Certainly.

My wallet, my keys, my liver.

Thank you so much.

My back's much better since I've been coming to see you.

These Russians act like I'm trying to cross the border.

There's some guy named Jack on the phone.

I've told him once, I've told him a thousand times never to call me again.

I'll tell him you don't want to talk to him. Fine. And if he wants to know why,

have him call me at home tonight.

Not yet, Alexa. I'm still thinking. Could you come back later?

He's a remarkable boy, no?

Yes. How long has Alexa been doing this?

For two hours.

Your governor has yet to make first moves.

No, no, I mean, he's awfully young to be a chess champion. He must have started

at a very early age.

In Soviet Union, we do everything well at early age.

Really?

You must be burnt out by now.

Oh, come on, we've gone through this ten times already.

You keep this up and your friend over there is going to get jealous.

You don't understand a word of English, do you?

You're one of the ugliest Twinkies I've ever seen.

Think about that for a while.

Benson, what do you think I should do here?

Beg for mercy.

Hi, Alexa.

Shh.

I found the record you wanted to listen to. Shh.

Look, but do not touch.

Once that goes for me, too.

Out of my way, you Cossack. You put one hand on me and I put you on the floor.

Gretchen, I... Out of my way, commie.

I'm sick and tired of being pawed at by that Russian thug.

It is necessary precaution for security.

Oh, yeah? Well, what about our security?

How would you like it if we did that to you?

All right, now.

Everybody, just simmer down.

Now, let's get on with the game.

Personally, I'd like a rematch. What do you say, Alexei?

Where is he?

Well, maybe he went to watch out.

Right, he's probably in the john.

The john?

Forgive me, the Ivan.

Maybe he stepped out for some fresh air.

He goes nowhere alone.

Not even to the Ivan?

There's no need to get so upset. I'm sure he's around here somewhere.

Unless he decided to defect.

He will never defect.

Well, I would if I couldn't go to the Ivan alone.

You get to your homework.

The police will find Electe.

They aren't going to find him. I think he went back to Russia.

That would be a pretty long swim.

But then again, maybe not.

Russia seems to be getting closer all the time.

Your homework is waiting, Katie.

I don't blame him for running away.

He was supposed to go home last month, but they kept making the tour longer and

longer. How do you know that?

He told me.

He's homesick.

But it is like they say, you can't go home again.

Why not?

They rented my room.

Shh.

Alexa. Da, I know.

Katie. Da, I know.

But you know they're looking all over for you? You will not tell them very

No. Oh, no, I swear to God.

Who?

very empty in the stomach.

Help yourself.

Not like that.

It's good.

You may be an expert at chess, but you've got a lot to learn about cooking.

Here's how you do it.

Let me try.

hide you up in the attic. What is attic?

Well, nobody ever goes up there. It's a small room with low ceilings, no

windows, and it smells kind of musty. Ah, sounds like home.

Mr. Petrov, our people are busy searching for Alexei right now.

I think you enjoy your work too much.

got through checking out the tool shed, sir. No luck.

Really?

Could it be that you're not wanting us to find the boy?

Hmm? That you're making what is just a show?

Vance and Mr. Petrov would like to take another look around the mansion. Well,

what good is that going to do, Governor? I've already shown it to him 20 times.

That one tracks dirt all over the carpet. This one smokes cigars. Never

an ashtray.

I wish to see every room again.

What are you, Russian looky -loos?

house again, you're going to have to make a down payment.

Benson does have a point, Mr. Petrov. It's pretty obvious that the boy isn't

here. Since you refuse to allow a search, I have no choice but to contact

consulate and inform them what you have done.

What is he talking about?

Just a minute, Benson.

What are you talking about?

The boy.

You took him.

No, we didn't.

Are you saying we kidnapped the boy? In your language, you betcha.

Petrov, I know what you're up to, and it's real dirty politics.

On the record, I know you're under a lot of stress, but that's a very serious

allegation. This is very serious provocation and clumsy attempt to embed

authority at union.

Embedded opinion, this incident will work to advantage of my government.

Now, wait a minute. I thought we were talking about an 11 -year -old child who

may be wandering around out there somewhere.

We are, but he's talking about lobbing mortar rounds on the front lawn.

happens is your fault.

Well, that stinks.

That's off the record.

I officially protest that you have the boy in this house.

Now, you know that's not true.

I know nothing.

Well, at least you know that much.

This is your last chance. I insist you give me now the boy.

Fancy. Is Alexei in the house?

Governor, these guys looked in rooms I didn't even know we had.

I wish I knew where he was, but he's not here.

Now, I give you my word.

We didn't take the boy.

And I say you did.

Mr. Petrov, why don't you just come out and call me a liar?

They would have.

But they couldn't think of the word.

Well, I can think of a great many words.

I'm trying hard not to say them. Just say no comment and leave it at that.

When the state police find Alexa, you'll be the first to know.

Good evening, Mr. Petrov.

I am warning to you.

From now on, Soviet Union, no more midnight guy.

We will not tolerate this act of American imperialist aggression.

Look, I hear that kind of stuff all the time on the news, and I'm about up to

here with it. Now, the governor is an elected official. You're a visiting

official, but I'm not an official anything, so there's nothing to keep me

throwing you the hell out of here.

Benson, where is it?

Down the hall and to the left.

Come on, Benson, don't fool around with me.

I wouldn't dream of it.

There are my groceries.

Well, you're in the kitchen. You must be getting warm.

Benson, I just called the grocer, and he said the delivery boy left my order on

the back porch two hours ago, and I can't find it.

Cross, if you're trying to cover up for those dogs, forget it.

You think the dogs ate the groceries?

And the delivery boy.

$22 worth of groceries can't just disappear.

$22 worth of groceries can slip through a crack in the porch.

Well, just between you and me, something is very strange here.

I got an idea who it is.

question. Well, I'll see you later, Benson.

You think you'll make it back by spring?

What do you mean?

You look like a squirrel hoarding up for the winter.

Oh, this?

Yeah, that.

Oh, this is just a little snack.

What are you going to do with all that stuff?

You promise not to tell anybody else?

Maybe.

I have a tapeworm.

Really?

Well, I'll talk to you later, Benson. I've got to be running along.

You eat all... stuff and you'll be rolling along.

Did you have enough?

Well, it's good.

What was it?

Those white things were marshmallows and those yellow things were potato chips.

And the rest was just junk food.

Who is it?

Reverend Ike, it's time to pray.

Katie, where is he?

Where is who?

Come on, Katie. We got a real problem here, and I need to know.

What makes you think he's here?

I followed the trail of M &Ms.

It is all right, Katie.

I do not want to make trouble.

But you haven't made me trouble.

You want to bet?

The Russians are claiming we kidnapped him. But we didn't. Yeah, I know that,

and you know that. And even if the Russians know that, they're not going to

admit they know that. Then I will tell them the truth.

Unfortunately, son, they're not interested in the truth.

They're looking to make a big McGill out of this, and so far they've done a

pretty good job.

You disappear, they say you've got you, and here you are.

I must go back to Comrade Petrov. But if you do that, he'll just make you keep

on with the tour.

What else can I do?

Benton, you have to help him. You just have to.

Please, sir.

I do dumb things to run away.

It's only because I miss too much my mother and father.

Well, son, it's not that easy. I don't know what I can do.

I only want to go home.

I have nobody else to help me.

Please.

So,

in

other words, Alexei was here all the time.

Yes, sir. Here.

Right. In the town.

That's what I said. And you're sure that it was him?

I didn't stop to check his passport.

About this tall, lots of curls. Sir, it's him.

I'm convinced.

And yesterday you were convinced that he wasn't here. Thanks to Benson.

You do remember telling us that he wasn't here just before you threw Mr.

out. This is very damaging, Benson.

So's the left hook, Taylor.

Gentlemen, please.

Did you see Alexei?

Oh, poor kid. He must be terrified.

Yeah, he's in with Katie watching cartoons.

Remind me to have a good long talk with Katie about her part in all this.

Well, I wouldn't be too hard on her, sir. This is her first violation of

international law.

Doesn't anyone care that the governor's entire political future is at stake

here? I think the boy comes before any political considerations, Taylor. We

to give him back.

But not yet.

Well, what are you suggesting, Benson? Asylum?

No one's suggesting asylum, Taylor, unless it's your doctor.

Sir, before we give Alexei back, we need some kind of guarantee from Petrov that

he'll end the tour and take the kid home.

Well, I'll do all I can through official channels, but it seems to me we have to

return Alexei immediately and then try to explain what happened.

Sir, they won't let you explain.

The boy was here, so no matter what you say, they'll twist it around to try to

make you look bad.

I hate to admit it, sir, but he's right.

If we can figure out a way to get you and Alexei off the hook, maybe we can

a deal with Petrov.

Benson, you can't make a deal with a man like that. He'd say anything to get

that boy back.

What makes you say that?

Well, he called me at home last night, and I... I'm in the book.

Anyway, he said he was calling out of concern for you, and that if I had any

influence with you at all, that I should try to convince you to give the boy

back for your own good. Oh, he was just trying to find out if the kid was here.

Well, of course he was.

That's all he said?

Well, he did ask me to have a drink with him. Said it'd be the last time he'd be

seeing a woman for a long time.

Well, that's a novel approach.

The man sounds desperate to me.

Thanks a lot.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I don't mean it that way. What I mean is if he thinks he's

going to be out of circulation for a while, this could mean he's in big

Do you think you could arrange a meeting, Marcy?

I could.

I don't want to. No, not for you, for me. I don't know that that's such a good

idea. Oh, I do. It's a great idea.

If it doesn't work, we'll blame it on Benson.

Marcy. Just tell me where and when.

Municipal Park, whenever.

All right.

Benson, you know, you don't have to do this.

Yeah, I know, sir, but there's a kid up there that wants to see his mother and

father. And my mother always told me if a man can stop to help his brother,

he'll be rich with the blessings of friends.

Your mother was a very wise woman.

Yeah, but she's got a fool for a son.

Continue doing as you are doing.

Pretend you do not know this movie.

Very dangerous to do this in the park, but I have no choice.

Shit! Tell me to bring me in the bottle.

All right.

Now, do you or do you not have what I want?

Quickly.

Pins.

Pins. Yeah.

Oh, congratulations. You just mugged Harold J. Adams. Black hair, brown eyes,

must wear corrective lenses.

I'll have to mail that to him.

You were late.

A couple of minutes. You didn't have to start without me.

And do not look at me when you speak. Turn around.

We are being watched.

You must have been followed.

I wasn't followed.

How can you be sure? How can I be sure?

James Bond couldn't have followed me here.

I took a cab all the way down to Charter Street, jumped on a moving bus, which

took me across to River Street, back up to the other side of the park. I

sprinted half a mile along a winding path, hurtling lovers, punks, and

and I got here just in time to watch you mug Mr. Adams. So don't tell me I was

followed. If anyone's watching us, they must have followed you.

Please. I am a professional. No one could follow me here.

Yeah? What'd you do, walk here backwards?

My pleasure.

Now listen, Alexei ran away. You know we didn't take him.

I know the boy was my responsibility, and I am being blamed for his

disappearance. Would it make any difference if Alexei was found?

I'd live.

Then you do have the boy.

Wait a minute, I didn't say that. I said if.

If Alexei were found, would you send him home immediately?

Let me understand you.

You want me to end the tour and send the boy home to his parents?

Is this correct, no?

It's correct, yes.

Sorry, no deal.

Well, you said yourself you were in big trouble.

So was your government.

Okay, well, can we stop this political stuff for a minute? Now, everybody's

real busy looking out for himself.

What about Alexei? Who's looking out for him?

You are right, but it's too late.

Well, what do you mean it's too late?

Oh,

it's a secret.

Oh, well, then if it's a secret, you better not tell me, because then I can't

tell you mine.

Wait a minute, you have a secret?

You want to trade?

All right, wait, I'll tell you. Hold on.

The entire matter is in hands of Comrade Wozniacki.

Who's that?

A senior attache to cultural and diplomatic relations.

The big cheese, huh?

What is big cheese?

The big macher.

Oh, big macher, that I know, yeah.

He's on his way now to mansion to deliver official protest.

And to denounce governor to reporters.

Petrov, if I can get you and the governor off the hook, do you promise to

the kid home where he belongs?

Not. But how do I know I can trust you?

You don't.

How do I know I can trust you?

You don't.

Then I guess we have to trust each other.

Let's go. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You didn't tell me your secret.

All right, all right, all right.

In the third grade, there was this girl named Elaine who used to eat paste.

This is no secret.

It isn't?

Well, don't look at me. I never told anybody.

The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics has always maintained a spirit of

peaceful cooperation throughout the world.

We remain vigilant to protect the safety of our citizens. Mr. Bosnowski, if I

can just say something. Acts of aggression cannot be condoned by any

nation, nor can they be condoned by our nation.

The history of mankind is marred by the... Are you crazy?

Miss Krause, it's our only chance.

But this is stupid. It is foolish.

Don't give me no lip, woman. Just do it.

The history of mankind is marred by the breach of trust between nations. On

second thought, never mind. You won't be needing this.

There's no need to stand on formality. You're among friends here. Benson, this

is Mr.

Vosnevsky of the Soviet Consulate.

Hi, how are you? Nice suit. Come with the medals?

Who is this man?

I've never seen him before in my life. Governor, why don't you tell these

what they're waiting to hear?

What do you mean about Alexei? Right.

Tell them what you and Petrov did when interns... heard about the plot against

the boy.

What plot? There was no plot.

No plot!

You see how well it worked?

They wanted everybody to think there was no plot. But the fact is, some group

was plotting to kidnap the kid. We think it was the Chinese.

But be that as it may, Petrov and the governor came up with this brilliant

to kidnap the kid. Keep the kid from getting grabbed. They grabbed him first

hid him here in the mansion. And then they put out the story of the

disappearance of the kid, knowing full well that it would bring you here, you

know, to take charge.

And it must have worked because here you are.

You know, I've seen you before.

Did you ever fight Joe Louis?

I was not informed of this. Oh, well, there was no way of informing you

informing the wrong people.

Ah, good.

Good. The plan was great. Petrov is a genius and a governor, too.

Don't overdo it, Bunchy.

Just one thing. What's that?

The boy is not here.

Well, of course he's here.

Petrov's had his eye on him all the time.

Now I ask you, is that a clever plan?

That's a clever plan, Bunchy.

You are all right.

He should go home for a long rest.

If you think he's best.

Da, I do.

Well, uh, would anybody like some refreshments? This occasion calls for

Vodka it is.

I told you Benson could do it. I am going home.

I heard. So I brought something for you to take with you.

Thank you.

It taught to trusting among people.

Maybe do it more often.

What'd you do that for?

It's one of our customs.

Yeah, Katie.

Can I ask you a question?

Sure. If Alexa and I can be such good friends, why can't our countries?

That's a good question, Katie.

I wish I had a good answer.

We get along real well. Why can't the grown -ups?

Sometimes it takes more than cookies to bring people together.

Maybe when you and Alexa grow up, you can change that.

Do you really think so?

Sugar, somebody has to.

Branson is videotaped before a studio audience.