Original subtitles

Excuse me.

Would you get on that thing and tell the governor that I'm still out here? The

governor knows that. You did tell him, the lieutenant governor?

The governor knows that, too.

Does he know that I have lots to do?

Oh, like what?

Well, I... Lots.

Well, does he always keep important people waiting?

Never.

Excuse me again. I hope you don't mind my saying this, but there's something

about your eyes.

Oh, please.

No, not really.

They're all wrong.

I beg your pardon?

You're using the wrong liner for the shape of your face.

It is. supposed to be some kind of an insult.

Oh, no, no, no, not at all.

If I was going to insult you, I'd say something about your clothes.

Mr. Sherman, why don't you just have a seat?

Don't take it personally.

Really? Is there someone else in the room?

I was just giving you a professional opinion.

You see, I used to be in ladies' cosmetics.

I'll bet you it was stunning.

It was my business, Benson. Hey, you want to wear makeup? It ain't nobody

business.

Is the governor feeling better today? Not really.

Would you two like me to leave the room?

What a nice idea.

Hey, hold on a second, Benson. I can't. I've got to see the governor. Yeah, but

what about me?

I've seen you.

Governor.

Governor. Governor.

If you veto this highway appropriation bill, you might as well veto your

What's that knocking?

A woodpecker.

How are you, Benson?

Fine, sir.

Question is, how are you?

Oh, I'm fine.

Is he really?

No, he is not really fine, and whatever's affecting him is affecting

just his balance.

Uh,

Taylor, I am not going to sign this highway bill.

This is a gross waste of the taxpayer's money.

Oh, no, no, just a minute.

It's, well, it's, uh... Highway robbery?

Let me call you a doctor.

No.

You must remember that politics is sometimes a matter of give and take.

Yeah, we give and they take.

Governor, now I've seen you the last few days. You've been staggering around the

mansion like a wino walking on a waterbed.

Now, you don't drink, so I know it's got to be something else. I've just slipped

a little. That's all lost my balance.

He won't let me call the doctor. He insists he's well enough to work. I

to a doctor now. I've got too much to do. Well, let me get him over here.

Doctor here, good luck.

Well, I'll tell him it's for tennis. He'll be here in ten minutes.

I can't believe they tried to slip this one in. Governor, sir, highway

appropriation bills are practically automatic. They always pass.

In the past, they passed. The past is past.

Let me get the doctor over here.

Marcy, send for Dr. Phillips.

Governor, if you don't sign this bill, you're going to lose campaign money.

Without campaign money, you don't go on TV.

Without TV, you're going to lose the next primary. I don't care.

Hello, Governor.

Sorry I'm late. Hope I didn't keep you waiting.

Oh, no, not at all. It's a matter of time. Good, good. We'll be with you in a

moment. Right, right.

Now, where was I? I don't care.

You don't?

No, that's what you were saying. I don't care.

The consequences.

Now, this state needs highways.

Absolutely right.

But, but, but what?

Well, that's all right, sir. You go right on ahead.

I was going to say that the state needs highways, but this bill is scandalous.

Just what I was going to say.

What a coincidence.

Governor, the highway interests are going to back someone else.

Well, let them. I'm not going to sign this bill.

I can't tell you how glad I am to hear you say that, sir.

And you agree with me? Well, sir, I think everyone knows how I lean.

Whichever way the wind blows.

All right, then, as far as I'm concerned, this matter is settled. Now,

move ahead.

Ponson, what are you doing?

Holding you up.

Oh, I think you should know that I don't have any money on me.

You are concerned about your father, you are?

He's going to be all right. But don't worry. I'm sure he's going to be all

right.

Just wish he'd hurry up about it.

Hi, Katie.

Oh, Vincent.

Did you talk to the doctor?

Yeah, I sure did.

How is he?

Well, he seemed like a nice enough guy.

I mean the governor.

Relax, sweetheart. I'm getting to that.

Katie, what your father has is nothing serious.

Oh, good.

Well, he's got some kind of middle ear infection.

That's what's been affecting his balance.

His ear?

Yeah. His ear?

There's something wrong with his ear? That's what I said. Is there something

wrong with yours?

But it's going to be all right. Oh, sure. He just has to get some rest and

his medicine, and he'll be well before we know it. Great. See ya. Where are you

going? To make Daddy a get -well card before he gets well.

Taylor heard the governor cannot function. Yes, he can.

From a sickbed?

Taylor, this state cannot get along without strong leadership.

We've done all right so far.

Taylor, I'm taking over. Look, the Constitution is very clear on this

This is a crisis situation.

It will be if you take over.

I get it, Sherman. You can't try to take over every time the governor sneezes.

It is a simple infection.

Gentlemen, why are you fighting me on this?

Have you read the latest poll?

No.

You just happen to have one handy.

Look, the people of this state actually prefer me to Governor Gatling by 11

percentage points.

If you can believe the polls.

I hate to put it this way, fellas, but the people want me.

And if the governor's popularity keeps going down while mine keeps going up,

well, I could be the next governor.

And I'll remember who helped me out.

I'd be happy to show you out.

supposed to be in bed.

How are you feeling, sir?

Oh, well.

Swell.

Well and swell.

What the hell?

This is functioning?

It's, uh, the medication.

He gets a little light -headed.

How long does this last? Every four hours.

Nothing to worry about.

See? Does the governor look worried?

Gentlemen, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to invoke emergency powers.

Governor. Governor, where?

I made you look.

We better get him to bed before he floats away.

Okay, who wants to go skinny dipping?

fit to serve.

Oh, is it my serve?

What's the score?

This is only temporary.

Well, I'll only take over temporarily.

Well, now, come on. Let's get you out of here. You're in kind of bad shape.

Oh, me?

No. I'm solid as a rock. You'll find out later when we go skinny dipping.

Sherman Jr.

Listen, Phil, how would you feel about backing me against the governor in the

next primary?

All right, well, how would you feel if I told you that the governor was planning

to kill the highway bill?

But that I think I can get it through for you.

Yeah, I thought that might change your mind.

You're right, right.

Well, it was wonderful talking to you too, Mother.

Bye -bye.

My mom.

Been with me every step of the way.

Defrosting your desk?

I work for the governor, not Ed Sherman.

While the governor's sick, Sherman is acting governor.

And he's acting very badly.

Do you know that he gave his own secretary time off, but he's running me

Well, I'm not going to take it anymore.

I just keep this handy for emergencies.

In case you have to sleep in your desk.

What is Sherman doing here anyway? Why isn't he at the Capitol where you

Oh, they're redecorating his office.

Adding more mirrors?

Yes, well, I'll certainly look into that.

The sooner the better, Taylor.

That's telling him.

That man is a complete moron.

The only qualifications he has for political office is straight teeth.

Probably cap.

What's wrong with politics today? The amateurs are ruining the business.

Well, I have had it. I'm leaving.

Get in line. Now, wait a minute, you two. Sherman's only going to be here a

couple of days. If you leave, who's going to keep an eye on him? We've got

hang in there and make sure he doesn't use this time to hurt the governor's

chances for re -election.

Interesting.

Enjoy it, Taylor.

It's as close as you're ever going to get.

Will you two knock it off? We've got to pitch in and do the best we can while

this obnoxious person is in the mansion.

I hear you.

You're going to say those things? Why don't you say them to my face?

Okay, you're obnoxious. But in this case, we were talking about Ed Sherman.

Are you a bad judge of character?

He's a nice young man who remembers to call his mother.

How do you know that, Miss Krause?

I heard him in the kitchen.

He promised her he'd get the highway bill through.

He didn't? Yeah, he did.

Maybe she's a teamster or something.

What else did he say, Cross?

Stinson, please, what do you think I am, some kind of listening tom?

He can't sign that bill.

I thought you wanted it signed.

Yes, but by the governor. If anybody's going to get financial backing for the

next campaign, I want it to be Governor Gatling, not Ed Sherman.

So Sherman's going behind the governor's back.

Well, with the shape the governor's in, he could go right under his nose.

Taylor!

Yeah?

Didn't the governor leave some bills to be signed?

Such as what?

Oh, I don't know. There were several.

I was thinking of the highway appropriations bill in particular.

Last time I recall, they were on the governor's desk.

Taylor, I just came from the governor's desk. They're not there.

What did you do with them, man? Those are important bills.

I didn't do anything with them. I'm looking for them. You better find it.

governor's just going to be furious.

Listen, Benson.

Nope.

I don't even know what I'm going to ask you. Doesn't matter.

The answer's still the same.

I see.

Never mind.

I have a meeting at the Capitol tomorrow morning at 11.

I'll sign the highway bill then.

Uh, just a word to the wise.

I don't know whether you're aware of this, but the polls indicate I could

well be the next governor.

Thanks for the warning.

Where is it?

Don't worry.

I took care of it.

But he's going to sign it when he goes to the Capitol. How can we stop him? We

can't. Can't? This country wasn't built by people who said can't, Taylor.

What do you suggest?

Beats the hell out of me.

Well, that's a lot of help.

But I do know Sherman is a guy who makes his decisions based on whatever the

opinion polls say.

So? So maybe we can find a poll that would change his mind.

I know a poll that could change his mind.

Leo Wozniak.

He weighs 250 and can bite a pipe in half.

Taylor. Well, we have no time to get an opinion poll taken. Why not?

We've got until 11 o 'clock tomorrow morning. Oh, sure, Benson. We'll just go

out in the street and ask people what they think of the highway bill.

There's a thought.

What, just the three of us?

Four. You're forgetting Krauts.

Well, that's a good idea, but we need her. Oh, come on, Benson. To have any

credibility, we'll have to poll at least 1 ,000 people.

That's only 250 people apiece.

There must be something else we can do.

Yeah, we can kiss the governor's second turn goodbye.

All right, we better get started.

Okay, I'll start with my friends. Marcy, you start with your friends. Taylor,

you start with whomever you can find.

521, 522, 523, 524, 525... Shh!

521, 522, 523, 524... Here are my last 75.

575, 576... 521, 522, 524... And here are Marcy's 35,

too. 535, 536... My!

Those are Marcy's.

I could tell. They're in English.

Who is Officer Thorpe? He was the arresting officer.

Who got arrested? Me.

For approaching men on the street in the middle of the night.

Don't worry. I cleared it all up and I got the entire precinct to sign the

Who are Dee Dee and Lorraine?

I met them in the paddy wagon.

Nice girls, but terrible dresses.

Ah, Benson.

Here you are.

What happened to you?

It was late.

I wasn't thinking.

I threw a truck stop, so I figured a cup of coffee, a piece of pie, a few more

signatures, and I'm done for the night.

Well, you should have known better than to tell a bunch of truckers that

highways are a waste of money. I realized that when I had to keep

of them repeatedly in the knee with my faith until he calmed down.

So how'd you get out of there?

As a gesture of goodwill, I allowed one of them to back his 18 -wheeler. truck

over my moped.

You had a pretty bad time, huh?

They even ate my pie and made me watch.

Well, here, you take the keys to my car, wash up, and go out and get the rest of

your quota. You're still 40 short.

No, Benson, I've got over 200 of them. I can't get any more.

We did.

Benson, it is very late. I have got a headache.

I am very tired. My feet are getting sore.

I'm whining.

And I'm going.

Ah, hello, Governor.

You feeling better? Oh, yes, much better, thank you. Want to sit down?

Watch out for the table.

Can I

get you anything?

No, thank you.

It's nice just to sit here and watch the room go by.

You could use some more rest.

5 .21, 5 .22. Don't let me interrupt what you're doing.

5 .41. What are you doing?

Oh, I'm working on an opinion poll.

Oh.

Can I ask my opinion?

No, I already know your opinion. That's why I'm doing this. I see.

No, I really don't. I don't follow.

It's probably best.

You want me to help you back to your room?

Thanks. Anyway, it's more of an adventure by myself.

Bye, Bunsen.

Shouldn't we synchronize our watches or something?

Mine's in the shop.

Remind me never to blow up a bridge with you.

Good morning. Good morning.

Uh, Marcy, is the governor in?

Yes, I am.

Oh, I think you misunderstood.

I meant the governor.

I'm the acting governor. What did you want? The real governor.

Oh, it's nothing. I just signed for something that came special delivery for

governor, and I thought it might be important. But never mind.

Uh, wait just a minute, Benson. That might be official business.

I'll take it. And I'd like to let you have it.

But it's more personal.

If you'd like, I'll see to it that the governor gets it. Would you? I'd

appreciate it. I'd like that envelope, please.

Well, it's just some sort of opinion poll.

A what?

I'm sure it can keep.

Yeah, the last thing we need around here is another opinion.

No, it will not keep. I'll take that.

Oh, all right. The governor's been waiting for this. I'll just take it up

him. Let me take it, Taylor. Oh, no, Benson, this is my responsibility. Let

No, let me.

Let me. Let me. Hold it!

Stop right there. Hand it over.

Oh, this is not official business. The governor paid for this poll out of his

own pocket.

Don't give me technicalities.

Do you know what you're doing? You're tampering with the mail. For the good of

the people, Taylor.

You people don't seem to realize how important it is that I be informed of

everything.

From now on, I want to be... God.

You're after his job, too?

Have you seen this?

I've seen it. He wouldn't even let me hold it.

It's a survey of the public's attitudes towards the new highway bill.

Really? Yeah, according to this survey, 90 % of the public is against it.

Really? We had it figured around 87%. I've got to get over the capital and

that thing.

I think I can save you a trip.

I found it.

Here it is.

Good.

Aren't you afraid you'll hurt yourself with the special interest groups?

Of course I am, but how can I turn my back on 90 % of the people?

Let's hope they never turn their backs on you.

That's my laundry list. You just vetoed my bathrobe.

Just testing my pen.

Where's the bill?

Very good. I'll just take that over to the Capitol for you.

I'll take this one myself.

But I do appreciate all your help. Oh, don't thank us. You did it all yourself.

No, no.

I really mean it. So do I.

So how does it feel to be back on your feet, sir?

I'm sitting down, Taylor.

And you're doing it very well.

I appreciate your support, Bunsen.

Especially on the stairs.

It's his office.

Of course. I thought you were supposed to be in bed for another week.

The doctor said he was well enough to come back to work.

Oh, good.

Glad to hear it. Then why aren't you smiling?

Thanks for keeping the chair warm for me, Ed. How did it go?

Fine. Fine, sir.

Do you know we were absolutely correct on that highway appropriations bill? The

public is overwhelmingly against it, according to this survey I received.

What survey is that?

It's a sort of unofficial random sampling of all the people we could find

night. At a rather strange hour.

In some rather strange places.

You took that poll?

With a little help from my friends.

Well, that's worthless.

So is the highway bill.

You deliberately gave me a phony poll to keep me from signing that bill? You

stole that poll.

Hey, I told you it was for the governor.

Did you hear this?

I thought you were against the highway bill, eh?

Oh, well, yes, I am.

And I was, right from the very first, but... Sir, are you aware of the sort of

thing that your so -called staff has been doing? What my staff does, they do

of loyalty to me.

And I don't think it's because of my smile or whatever.

It's because he's honest.

That's a word you can look up when you get home.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do.

In case you forgot, here's the door.

Just a little piece of advice, amigo.

Don't ever try to make a fool of me again.

Don't have to.

You're doing a great job all by yourself.

Hi, sugar.

Hi, Vincent.

Want to taste my special breakfast?

No, what's so special about it?

My dad said just having my breakfast every morning made him well in a hurry.

you want to try it?

Yeah.

Do you like it?

Yeah, well, I can see how this will get your father out of bed in a hurry.

Did it make you feel better?

Well, just one sip of this and you're glad to be alive.

Two raw eggs, Pepsi, mayonnaise, grape jelly, chocolate milk, and alfalfa

sprouts.

Oh, cross.

Would you like to try Katie's special drink here?

is videotape before a studio audience.