Original subtitles

Night boys don't kick like that!

Don't you give up.

Don't you do it.

Don't you let go.

Okay, I won't.

Why do you feel like Danny Glover? Shut up, Rose.

Okay. Promise me you'll never let go.

No matter how senile you get or how strong the urge to purge your emotional

past. Promise me you will not throw that damn diamond in the ocean. That thing

is easily worth like a bajillion dollars.

Think how much good you could do selling it. You can open an orphanage.

endow a children's hospital, neuter every stray cat in America for God's

Promise? I promise, Jack.

I promise.

Oh, good.

Yeah. Wine.

A master thief is from Columbia in militant female auteurs of the 1970s,

ashamed to admit my only goal in life is to have Jack's babies and wash his

underwear. Just wait. Tomorrow, is Noah and Allie's rain kiss from the notebook

in the shower.

Bring your cozy.

See, that's why you're my bestie, Stink.

Stink, there's something I want to say to you.

Oh boy, that's never good.

The last time someone said that to me was seventh grade, Great Neck, Long

Island. My little sister tells me that Kenny Winston convinces her to put a

of pennies up her vagina. And when we finally pull it out, seven cents are

missing. I did that too!

I mean, I still can't find a tube cherry chapstick and a pair of Malibu barbie

shoes. Is that normal?

Seriously, though, I just want to say that I'm so grateful for you and for

everything you've been doing.

Home is where your family is, and you've been family since I've got here.

Oh, thanks.

Now, if I can just stop missing my auditions because of these damn buses,

wouldn't be so bad.

We need to get you a car.

Sing, I can't even afford an extra side of ranch and veggie grill. How am I

going to get a car?

One word.

One week free when you're in for a week. Sweet good news.

Now, let's go get you a car.

Oh, more good news. I think I finally found my missing cherry chapstick. Oh,

yeah.

Okay,

okay, okay.

Favorite Britney moment and go. That's so easy. Her debut music video.

Baby, one more time.

Yes, it's a pedophile's wet dream. But it's also like the... strongest post

-modern examination of innocence destroyed by esoteric sexuality, while

simultaneously breaking habituate walls of impotent male demagoguery by

projecting an overt attestation of pure girl power.

I mean, it is so obvious, right?

What about you?

Oh, um, Britney with the python wrapped around her. Ooh. Yeah.

Because it looked like a giant penis.

How many degrees did you say you had?

Calvin Sirsock. Oh, my God. Cole Highlock.

How are you?

Yeah, good.

I mean, you know, every day I'm hustling.

Every day I'm hustling. Every day I'm hustling. Every day, every day, every

I'm hustling.

Um, yeah, so I didn't know you were here.

Yeah, yeah, I've been here for over a year now. The transition was hard, but

I've been working.

You've been working.

That's amazing.

Yeah, I just finished up with Alfonso. Oh, Alfonso.

Isn't he, um, the guy who did that, like, DJ, karaoke place in Sydney?

He's making a go of it in the States, is he? You guys doing, like, bar mitzvahs

or weddings?

No, not that Alfonso.

Alfonso Caran.

The director of, uh, Gravity.

And Ito Mama Tambien and Children of Men?

Yeah. He's making this mega -catastrophe film.

And I, like, landed the male lead.

You got an acting job?

Yeah.

I know it's a long way from our days on away and home again. I mean, I just

finished wrapping with Jen.

Jen. Lawrence.

Lawrence. Jen Lawrence.

Zen Lawrence.

Yeah.

Anyway, how are you? Are you just visiting, or...? No, you know, I'm here

stay, but I just got here, so... You know, just getting a car and, like,

my legs and, you know, getting some relaxing work, so... Yeah, I know how

is. The first six months I was here, I was bartending at this dump on Cahuenga.

It was depressing, but then I would tell myself... Hey, at least I'm not in a

chicken suit holding some street sign.

Yeah. Anyway, look, I'm playing Jesus in this new sci -fi, and I reckon I could

get you on set.

You're playing Jesus?

Yeah.

Yeah,

well, it's this mega -catastrophe film set in these collapsing worlds out of

space. It's this total commentary.

Look, they might have already cast up, but I could probably make a phone call

and get you in for, like, some featured extra work, some line.

Here's a card.

Call casting. I'll let them know you'll be calling.

I've got to run.

But it'd be great to work with you again, just like old times.

Yeah, just like old times.

Later, Reggie.

Hi, I'm Reggie.

How can I help you today?

Oh.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

This coupon's expired.

Is she having an episode?

Is this an episode?

Cole can't act his way out of a paperback Heimlich. And now he's in a

playing Jesus with Jennifer Lawrence and my coupon's expired.

It'll be okay, you think?

I thought everything was going to be different.

Maybe I'm not cut out for this.

Excuse me for interjecting. I think that...

What you're experiencing is what I like to call a crisis in confidence.

Girlfriend, you've got to believe in yourself. Trust me, we at Budget Car

Rental, we know these things.

Our slogan is we don't only rent cars, we inspire souls.

I made that last part up, but it's implied.

I'm going to tell you a story, and everybody knows the best way to tell a

is... I hit it, DJ.

And you feel you've lost your way.

Been playing by the rules.

Just doesn't pay.

So have faith in yourself.

Listen to your compass.

Let it all go and shake your cupid's compass.

Here at Budget, we've got cars SUVs large and small. We've got ladders that

big and small.

What we can't rent really has no free, because girlfriend, miles are for free.

So give him, give him, give him what you got.

Again, have faith in yourself and listen to your compass.

Well, I definitely think I feel better. I don't know what any of that means, but

I definitely feel better. You just got to remember that coupons expire, but

faith in yourself never does.

Hey, here's your rental car. I got you the complimentary upgrade.

Enjoy.

Um,

do people spontaneously break out in song? Like, is that a thing?

Oh, yeah. All the time. Yeah, happens all the time. Oh, got it.