Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:48,112
Hey, check it out.Look at those two losers.
2
00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:51,878
Hi, everyone. We're Connie.And Carla.
3
00:00:51,951 --> 00:00:53,885
Nerds!Attention, please.
4
00:00:53,953 --> 00:00:57,320
The yearbook committeewill meet today at 3:40 in the library.
5
00:00:57,390 --> 00:01:00,188
Good crowd.
Connie, are you sure we should?
6
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:02,854
Don't forget the harmony
in the second verse, okay?
7
00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:04,863
Okay.
This is going to work, Carla.
8
00:01:04,931 --> 00:01:08,264
We just have to stick
to my plan.
Right. The plan.
9
00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:11,462
We're gonna be huge.
Huge!
10
00:01:11,538 --> 00:01:15,167
All students registeredfor the planetarium field trip...
11
00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:17,232
should now be on the bus.
12
00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:20,177
Get off the stage!
13
00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:29,844
They're freaks.
14
00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:56,642
31-B.
15
00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:35,551
- Thank you.
You've been a great crowd.
- All of you.
16
00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:55,601
And the greatest thingabout that car show is...
17
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:58,769
you can sit in any car you want
for as long as you want.
18
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:01,336
Yeah, I remember that
from last year.
19
00:03:01,414 --> 00:03:06,579
- Cut it out, Al.
- You know, Carla.
Me and Al just got this new job.
20
00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:09,247
- We're loading stuff
in this warehouse. It's great.
- Oh, that's great!
21
00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:11,256
- What's your problem?
- I'm trying to eat, okay?
22
00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:15,124
What are you doing here anyway?
I told you we broke up.
23
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:18,392
- Again?
- Let's go, Carla.
24
00:03:18,464 --> 00:03:20,989
Where you going?
Mikey, the second show.
25
00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:23,831
Yeah, Mikey, the second show.
Have some respect.
26
00:03:23,903 --> 00:03:27,236
Don't you realize
we're in the presence
of the great waitresses?
27
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:29,241
- Al, shut it.
- No, you shut it, Connie.
28
00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:32,301
You and that stupid show.
You're like sad, you know.
29
00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:36,405
After all these years,
just face the fact, it's not
gonna happen and give up.
30
00:03:36,482 --> 00:03:38,973
- What?
- What's your problem?
31
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:42,112
What is wrong with you?
Why can't you just be normal?
32
00:03:42,188 --> 00:03:46,921
Al, I only have one life.
I want it to be a happy one.
33
00:03:46,993 --> 00:03:50,759
Let's get outta here.
Come on, Carla.
34
00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:55,798
Carla, please? Let's go.
35
00:03:58,204 --> 00:04:00,798
You're a dreamer, Connie.
Wake up.
36
00:04:02,508 --> 00:04:05,636
I told you that layover from Madisonwould bring people in.
37
00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:07,839
Connie. Carla.
38
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:10,246
Oh, we're gonna be able
to pay you back soon, Frank.
39
00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:13,945
Frank, we needed more wigs
than we thought, and we have to
do some advertising.
40
00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:18,081
Good show.
Oh!
41
00:04:18,157 --> 00:04:20,182
You girls are great!
42
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,956
- I gotta go see about a delivery.
- Thanks, Frank.
43
00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:28,831
Hey, Frank.
Rudy's looking for you.
44
00:04:42,715 --> 00:04:44,683
- Carla...
- Dinner theater will be so in again.
45
00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:47,219
Yeah, Debbie Reynolds
definitely knew what she was doing.
46
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,915
Debbie Reynolds?
Darling.
Darling.
47
00:04:49,989 --> 00:04:52,822
Chins up, boobs out!
It's showtime!
48
00:04:52,892 --> 00:04:54,792
Oh. Actually,
the show's over. Sorry.
49
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:57,796
If you're flying through,
come back in a month
when the show will be huge.
Huge!
50
00:04:57,864 --> 00:04:59,161
We're Connie.
And Carla.
51
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:01,792
- Do you like musicals?
Stop talking, strange women.
52
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:05,634
I can tell by your lovely accent
you're a visitor to this country,
and welcome.
53
00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:09,971
- Where is fat man?
- He has a gland problem.
54
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:12,034
- Ooh!
- Ooh!
55
00:05:13,112 --> 00:05:15,012
Where's Frank?
56
00:05:16,349 --> 00:05:18,840
Uh, he just left, Rudy.
57
00:05:18,918 --> 00:05:21,853
- Where does he park?
- On the rooftop.
58
00:05:21,921 --> 00:05:24,082
Tibor, let's go.
59
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,560
Nice to meet you, Connie. Carla.
60
00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:38,563
We gotta warn Frank.
Let's go.
61
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,938
The shipment is short...again!
62
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,943
I didn't take anything, Rudy.
63
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,445
You were the only onewho handled the transport.
64
00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:49,743
So now I have to kill ya.
65
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:52,546
Let's go get security.
Okay. Look.
66
00:05:52,618 --> 00:05:55,553
You know, Frank, I'm always the one.How long's this been going on?
67
00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:58,112
- Look. Just in time.
- How long?
68
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,182
No! No!
69
00:06:02,161 --> 00:06:06,564
Officer, look. These guys
are big-time coke dealers.
70
00:06:06,632 --> 00:06:09,533
You take me in, I'll tell youanything you wanna know, okay?
71
00:06:09,602 --> 00:06:12,093
I left the stuff
back at the Traveler's Lounge
with some girls.
72
00:06:12,171 --> 00:06:14,366
You just go and ask
for Connie and Carla.
73
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,965
Connie and Carla.
74
00:06:28,821 --> 00:06:30,618
It's Connie and Carla.
75
00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:35,627
Oh! Oh, my God!
Oh!
76
00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:53,902
Carla, please. Carla...
77
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:57,507
Okay, why the throat?
I can't believe you would actually...
78
00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:01,747
Carla, calm down.
Your voice is giving me cramps.
Those guys are gonna kill us!
79
00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:04,119
Carla, we're okay.
We're okay.
Oh, my God, there they are!
80
00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:10,326
Did I get 'em?
Did I get 'em?
81
00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:12,990
They're still coming.
They're coming! They're coming!
82
00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:17,100
Please say where you're going.
We don't know, Ma.
83
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,434
We just suddenly realized
we have to make a move
for our careers.
84
00:07:19,505 --> 00:07:22,702
We're not in trouble or anything.
Connie. Carla.
85
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:25,767
Are you prostitutes?
86
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:27,710
We'll call you!
87
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:31,181
Okay.
88
00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:33,775
What is that?
89
00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:35,718
- What are you doing here?
- Your moms called.
90
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:38,484
Where are you going?
We're going away for a while.
91
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:41,459
Yeah, oh, I get it.
Last week, you supposedly
break up with me.
92
00:07:41,527 --> 00:07:45,054
Now you pretend you're leaving
and bum-ba-ba-da,
I'm supposed to propose.
93
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:49,795
You want us to marry you.
What are you talking about?
We're not even pre-engaged.
94
00:07:49,869 --> 00:07:53,532
- Mikey, if you wanna propose,
I'm ready.
- Oh.
95
00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:56,370
Mikey, don't get trapped.
We've been dating
other girls anyway.
96
00:07:56,442 --> 00:07:58,467
Yeah, we've been...
What?
97
00:08:01,247 --> 00:08:03,841
Oh! Drive, Thelma, drive!
98
00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:28,196
What do you got?
99
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:31,710
Sputnik, you can't find
two stupid women,
100
00:08:31,777 --> 00:08:35,508
who have my kilo
and saw me blow
someone's head off?
101
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:38,141
This is allthat was there.
102
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,190
Business contacts.
103
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:48,227
Old Town Dinner Theater,
St. Louis.
104
00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:51,457
Lincoln House Dinner Theater,
Kansas City.
105
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,965
Balcony Dinner Theater,Little Rock.
They've left town.
106
00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:02,472
Wait. Where's my work tote?
Oh, God!
107
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,909
- I think you left it!
- Oh, great! Now those guys
know everything about us.
108
00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:09,539
You don't have our home address
in there, do you?
No, no, no.
109
00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:12,709
We should just go to the police.
A cop shot
poor Frank!
110
00:09:12,785 --> 00:09:15,117
Just let me think, all right?
I'm trying to make up a new plan.
111
00:09:15,187 --> 00:09:17,121
Where can we go?
112
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,215
- New York?
- New York?
113
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:22,386
- New York's too obvious.
- Florida?
114
00:09:22,461 --> 00:09:24,292
- Florida?
- They can't hide.
115
00:09:24,363 --> 00:09:27,594
- We can't hide!
- We gotta go someplace
where we can just blend in.
116
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:30,135
Okay.
Somewhere wherethey'd never look for us,
117
00:09:30,202 --> 00:09:32,432
because there's no theater,
no musical theater,
118
00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:34,439
no dinner theater,
no culture at all.
119
00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:40,973
Los Angeles.
120
00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:46,083
We could be L.A. girls now.
121
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:48,313
We should work out.
122
00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:55,787
Good one.
Thank you.
123
00:09:58,564 --> 00:10:02,000
Oh. Oh, I think
I have a tissue.
124
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:04,298
- Here.
- Thank you.
125
00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:07,532
What's this?
126
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,802
I don't know.
127
00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:14,937
I can't see!
128
00:10:15,014 --> 00:10:17,539
Oh, it tastes really funny!
Don't inhale!
129
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,814
Spit it out!
Stop breathing!
130
00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:23,650
Where'd you get that?
I didn't get it!
131
00:10:23,723 --> 00:10:25,850
Carla!
It was in your bag!
132
00:10:33,899 --> 00:10:36,094
We've been rehearsing a lot,and he's got that new job.
133
00:10:36,168 --> 00:10:39,365
What if he doesn't even have any job?
What if he's found somebody else?
Yeah, yeah, that's it.
134
00:10:39,438 --> 00:10:42,464
I think Mikey cheated on me,
'cause I was always working nights.
It's not his fault.
135
00:10:42,541 --> 00:10:44,771
It was probably that waitress
at Dodo's Diner. The blond?
136
00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:47,506
She always looks at him funny
when she brings him his cheese melt.
Hi, Mikey.
137
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:50,811
She makes me sick,
she's so sweet.
138
00:10:50,883 --> 00:10:52,817
So sweet. Like the devil
in devil's food cake.
139
00:10:52,885 --> 00:10:55,410
She just... She makes me wanna puke.
She makes me wanna vomit.
140
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:58,924
It's okay, Carla.
It's okay.
141
00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:01,892
We deserve better,
that's for sure.
142
00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:08,734
You know what?
No more time for losers, Carla.
143
00:11:08,801 --> 00:11:10,735
Mm-mmm.
144
00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:14,068
When one door closes,another door opens.
145
00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:17,007
Yeah, life is like a patio door.
You never know which side
is gonna be open.
146
00:11:17,076 --> 00:11:19,169
Mm-hmm, and you walk
into the glass.
147
00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:03,588
They look friendly here.Oh, I really like it here.
148
00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:06,591
Me too.I got a good feelingabout this, Carla.
149
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:09,059
- Yeah? Me too.
- Yeah. Okay.
150
00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:11,824
It really feels safe here.
151
00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:14,388
Oh, gunshot!
Oh, Connie, they found us!
152
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:17,800
We're gonna die!
Let me look!
Let me look!
153
00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:23,433
Oh, we're okay.
We're okay.
154
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,937
Oh, cute!
155
00:12:29,014 --> 00:12:33,644
Don't bother, Carla.They're all just Alsand Mikeys with a tan.
156
00:12:33,719 --> 00:12:35,812
No more boyfriends for us.
157
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:39,755
Oh, wait, back up!
Back up!
158
00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:54,335
Where are you?Are you okay?
159
00:12:54,406 --> 00:12:56,135
They're not okay.
Are you eating?
Okay, Mom...
160
00:12:56,208 --> 00:12:58,676
We're eating, Ma.
Well, what are you doing
for money?
161
00:12:58,744 --> 00:13:02,703
I'm sure they've got jobs.
As prostitutes.
162
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:07,185
I'd be hard pressed to sayI can't remember a better-lookinggroup of tourists. And I mean that.
163
00:13:07,253 --> 00:13:10,916
I hope you're ready, 'cause today
is the day when all the stars
are coming out.
164
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:13,390
So, keep your cameras ready,'cause here we go.
165
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,689
Oh, look at that.
166
00:13:15,761 --> 00:13:17,820
Another celebrity
getting arrested.
167
00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:20,627
Kidding. I'm kidding.
Okay. Now...
168
00:13:20,699 --> 00:13:23,634
Excuse me, sir?
Could we please drive by
Debbie Reynolds's house?
169
00:13:23,702 --> 00:13:26,500
- Oh, yeah!
- Ah, no. That's not on the tour.
170
00:13:26,572 --> 00:13:30,804
Keep your eyes peeledboth left and right,because celebrities...
Sir?
171
00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:34,209
will just pop at you
at anytime.
Sir? Sir?
172
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,874
Hi. Are there any
dinner theaters in town?
173
00:13:36,949 --> 00:13:39,315
Uh, not in this decade.
174
00:13:40,452 --> 00:13:42,420
Now...
Sir, isn't there a place...
175
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:45,889
- where we could sit
for dinner and a show?
- Yeah, my face.
176
00:13:53,866 --> 00:13:57,165
Hey, it's Jeff.I, uh, I came byto see you again,
177
00:13:57,236 --> 00:13:59,830
but, uh,
you're not home again.
178
00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:02,874
But, uh, I'm bound
to run into you sometime, right?
179
00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:07,538
I'm gonna keep trying.
So, uh, anyway,
I-I can't wait to see you.
180
00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:10,639
I will, uh,
I will talk to you later.
181
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,518
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
182
00:14:26,131 --> 00:14:28,429
None of these jobs
pay real money.
183
00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:31,128
I know.
I'll go make some calls.
184
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:33,364
Okay.
185
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:35,737
We'll find something.
186
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:40,370
We're the only salon in Los Angeles
that does the hijiki herbal clay wrap.
187
00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:43,210
You have done wrapping before.
188
00:14:43,282 --> 00:14:46,115
Oh, yeah. There was
a ton of these salons in France.
189
00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:50,087
Where we're from...
originally.
190
00:14:50,155 --> 00:14:52,385
Oh. Tr�s bien.
191
00:14:53,859 --> 00:14:58,296
You can finish it then.
Seal it tightly with ductile sheathing.
192
00:14:58,364 --> 00:15:00,832
Right.
193
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,959
Excuse me, Mrs. Morse.
Oh, sure.
194
00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:08,239
Okay.
195
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:15,580
- Is that too tight?
- No, no, this is good.
196
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:18,446
It'll help squish out all that water
I've been retaining.
197
00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:20,951
Fifteen pounds to go.
Mrs. Morse, you're thin.
198
00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:23,454
- No, no, I'm not.
- But you are, really.
199
00:15:23,522 --> 00:15:25,012
- No. No.
- Your leg is...
200
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,115
- No, no.
- Oh.
201
00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:30,161
Can't even get my buttthrough this door.
202
00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:32,629
Hello.
The "I hate my body" salon.
203
00:15:32,698 --> 00:15:37,795
May I help you?
Hello? Hello? Hello?
Oh, they're gone.
204
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:45,266
Mrs. Morse, are you okay?
205
00:15:45,344 --> 00:15:47,312
Well, the girl said
it's the new look.
206
00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:49,540
Straw hair and beige lipstick?
207
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:52,778
Well, it's the new
California look, right?
208
00:15:52,851 --> 00:15:55,217
- Yeah, for dead Californians.
- Oh.
209
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:58,450
Don't be sad.
We can help you.
210
00:16:10,002 --> 00:16:13,130
I love it!
211
00:16:13,205 --> 00:16:15,366
You're fired!
212
00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:20,708
Now we don't have
any money for rent.
This is so hard!
213
00:16:20,779 --> 00:16:23,111
I miss Mikey.
And poor Frank is dead.
214
00:16:23,182 --> 00:16:25,946
When they find us,
we're dead too.
215
00:16:26,018 --> 00:16:28,043
Oh! What are you doing?
216
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,054
We need to get drunk.
What?
217
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:06,982
Shake it again!
218
00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:32,241
They sound great.
They're lip-synching.
219
00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:40,458
Mary.
Yes, Mary?
220
00:17:40,526 --> 00:17:43,154
Did you hear, they're moving
their act to Vegas.
221
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:45,594
Wow!
This is it.
222
00:17:45,664 --> 00:17:48,565
If we could do our act here,
I could die happy.
223
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:50,795
Can anyone audition?
224
00:17:50,869 --> 00:17:54,066
Yes, I can.
We're going to get the job.
225
00:17:54,139 --> 00:17:57,836
Now don't get your hopes up, sweetie.
It's an audition. We have to practice
tomorrow.
226
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:02,813
Ooh, I know whatwe're going to wear.Chickapow!
227
00:18:10,889 --> 00:18:14,552
Are you crazy?
228
00:18:14,626 --> 00:18:17,151
Why not?
Because we're women.
229
00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:21,029
No one needs to know that.
No way, Connie.
No way.
230
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:24,092
Ready. Smile.
231
00:18:40,018 --> 00:18:41,952
Yeah?
232
00:18:42,020 --> 00:18:45,717
Mary, we heard you're
looking for a new act.
233
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:49,955
That's right, Mr. Mary.
234
00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:56,196
Doll, stop praying.You're looking atthe Second Coming.
235
00:18:57,269 --> 00:19:01,365
Sign in. Go backstage.
You're on last.
236
00:19:07,579 --> 00:19:10,480
God, I'm beautiful.
Where'd you find that though?
237
00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:12,574
Really?
Here you go, girl.
238
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:15,711
Oh, tape, tape. Thank you.
239
00:19:15,787 --> 00:19:18,483
Oh, here, here, here, here.
240
00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:21,355
Thanks.
There you go.Thank you.
241
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:27,154
All right, try this.
"Girl, what you wearing,
your prom dress?"
242
00:19:27,232 --> 00:19:31,464
Girl, what you wearing
your prom dress for?
243
00:19:31,537 --> 00:19:33,835
Better?
244
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,306
Mm-hmm.
What about our voices?
245
00:19:36,375 --> 00:19:40,641
Way too high
to be guys.
Yeah, this is gonna lower the key.
246
00:19:40,712 --> 00:19:43,943
Don't forget to adjust
on the harmony.
247
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,950
Okay.
248
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,145
Carla, come on.
Throw your shoulders back.
Have some attitude.
249
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:50,484
God, these tight tops
make us so flat.
250
00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:55,516
Right. And we look
just like them, except
they have these. There.
251
00:19:57,229 --> 00:20:00,221
Al and Mikey were right.
We are dreamers.
252
00:20:00,299 --> 00:20:02,995
That audience is gonna
see straight through us,
and it could get ugly.
253
00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:06,128
Carla, for one night,
we get to sing again.
254
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:10,005
Come on.
Chins up, boobs out.
It's showtime.
255
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,610
Shazam!
256
00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:48,507
- How 'bout a big hand...
257
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:53,017
for our very ownPeaches 'N' Cream.
258
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,019
That's not what...
You were hitting me
with that duster.
259
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,918
- I loved it.
- You were better than me.
260
00:20:56,989 --> 00:21:00,652
All right, our next act
is in town from, uh, Winnipeg.
261
00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:03,854
They're new, so be nice...
You didn't tell them
our real names.
262
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:07,365
I took care of it.
All right, please welcome...
263
00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:09,491
Al and Mikey.
264
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,549
Oh, Cabaret. Original.
265
00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:32,021
Wait, it's Liza... again.
266
00:21:34,259 --> 00:21:35,920
I can't do it!
Yes, you can.
267
00:21:35,994 --> 00:21:39,430
No.
268
00:22:10,228 --> 00:22:14,426
Is she singing?
Yes, he is.
269
00:23:40,852 --> 00:23:42,786
Oh!
Oh, my God!
270
00:23:42,854 --> 00:23:45,015
Thank you.
271
00:23:46,892 --> 00:23:49,360
We're Connie...
272
00:23:51,463 --> 00:23:54,990
- And Carla.
- More!
273
00:23:55,066 --> 00:23:57,626
Hit it!
274
00:25:21,453 --> 00:25:25,014
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
275
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:32,123
Oh! Oh! Oh!
What just happened?
Oh, my God!
276
00:25:32,197 --> 00:25:35,530
Oh, you guys!
Where the hell
did you queens come from?
277
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,534
The Evita stuff
made me tingle.
278
00:25:37,602 --> 00:25:40,969
The Evita stuff made me tingle.
Wednesdays and Sundays,
200 a week.
279
00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:45,571
Three hundred a week
and 10% of the door.
280
00:25:45,644 --> 00:25:47,407
No way.
Okay, fine.
281
00:25:49,881 --> 00:25:53,044
Congratulations.
You guys are fabulous.
Thanks. Thank you.
282
00:25:53,118 --> 00:25:55,052
Come on, Toto.
283
00:26:00,058 --> 00:26:03,186
Having trouble making ends meet.
Not the first time.
284
00:26:03,261 --> 00:26:05,661
May not be able
to pay you that much.
285
00:26:07,265 --> 00:26:09,324
That's okay.
Yeah.
286
00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:12,097
See you tomorrow,
Connie and Carla.
287
00:26:15,140 --> 00:26:17,574
Ooh! They all know
our real names!
288
00:26:17,642 --> 00:26:21,408
Who cares? We're in!
Oh, my God, we're in!
289
00:26:21,479 --> 00:26:23,743
Oh, Carla, we're in!
We're in!
290
00:26:23,815 --> 00:26:25,749
Okay.
Yeah!
291
00:26:38,496 --> 00:26:40,361
Hello?
292
00:26:40,432 --> 00:26:42,832
Tibor, what are you doing?
Are they there, or what?
293
00:26:42,901 --> 00:26:44,835
No, Rudy,
they're not here.
294
00:26:44,903 --> 00:26:47,201
Hey, what about tracing
their license plate?
295
00:26:47,272 --> 00:26:50,969
What about tracing the license plate?
If you'd written it down, you idiot!
296
00:27:27,045 --> 00:27:28,979
You've been great.
You've been real.
297
00:27:29,047 --> 00:27:30,981
Thank you.
Thanks.
298
00:27:33,051 --> 00:27:34,985
You know,
299
00:27:35,053 --> 00:27:37,521
it's hard to meet a guy
in this town,
300
00:27:37,589 --> 00:27:39,580
let alone in Nazareth.
301
00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:42,718
Hey, Carla, I feel sorry
for Mary Magdalene.
302
00:27:42,794 --> 00:27:45,388
Oh, why is that, Connie?
303
00:27:45,463 --> 00:27:48,694
Oh, you know, she finally
decides to mend her ways,
going the straight path,
304
00:27:48,767 --> 00:27:51,565
and she falls for this guy...
33 years old,
305
00:27:51,636 --> 00:27:56,403
still living at home with his mother,
who's never gonna accept a shiksa
with a past for a daughter-in-law.
306
00:27:59,010 --> 00:28:01,137
God, I love it.
I feel like I can finally
say what I think.
307
00:28:01,212 --> 00:28:05,046
I know. When we were doing
the show in Chicago, and you would say,
you know, dirty stuff,
308
00:28:05,116 --> 00:28:08,916
I could feel the audience going,
"Oh, no. Don't do that.
Where's my dessert?"
309
00:28:08,987 --> 00:28:12,650
But now, dressed like a guy...
We can say anything we want.
310
00:28:12,724 --> 00:28:15,420
But with L.A. men, the bulgein their pants is a cell phone.
311
00:28:18,596 --> 00:28:22,794
All right, that's it.
I have not seen you
laugh once tonight.
312
00:28:22,867 --> 00:28:25,529
Can you not seehow fabulous we are?
313
00:28:25,603 --> 00:28:28,595
- I love the show.
- Mary, that is scary.
314
00:28:28,673 --> 00:28:30,641
Your face doesn't move
when you talk.
315
00:28:30,709 --> 00:28:32,802
Oh, Botox.
316
00:28:32,877 --> 00:28:34,777
Cow poison?
317
00:28:34,846 --> 00:28:37,041
Oh, no!
318
00:28:37,115 --> 00:28:39,549
How many of you
deaden your wrinkles
with that crap?
319
00:28:40,952 --> 00:28:43,648
Hmm. Four, huh?
320
00:28:43,722 --> 00:28:46,714
Five?
321
00:28:46,791 --> 00:28:49,089
Oh, come on. Be honest!
322
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:52,960
Yeah, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
323
00:28:53,031 --> 00:28:56,762
Boys and girls, God put us on
this earth to have a laugh,
hence the term "laugh lines."
324
00:28:56,835 --> 00:28:59,429
That's what it looks like.
325
00:28:59,504 --> 00:29:03,235
Do yourselves a favor,
let your eyes crinkle,
let your skin wrinkle.
326
00:29:03,308 --> 00:29:05,776
Our lines show that we've lived.
327
00:29:05,844 --> 00:29:09,245
If he doesn't love you
when you look like a map,
tell him to hit the road.
328
00:29:13,752 --> 00:29:15,583
Hey, good one.
329
00:29:15,653 --> 00:29:18,349
Whatcha got there, Carla?
330
00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:21,984
Well, Connie, I do believe it's time
for South Pacific sing-along!
331
00:29:25,029 --> 00:29:27,361
There you go.
Get it around your neck.
332
00:29:29,434 --> 00:29:31,868
Come on, people.Get 'em on. There you go.
333
00:29:31,936 --> 00:29:34,837
They're so much fun.
Wish I had the nerve
to sing live.
334
00:29:34,906 --> 00:29:36,840
I wish I had the nerve
to be that good.
335
00:29:36,908 --> 00:29:39,172
We are such idiots.
Don't be mean to us.
336
00:29:39,244 --> 00:29:41,212
Just because
you look fat in white.
337
00:29:41,279 --> 00:29:45,147
I do... Look at how busy
we're getting. Are you guys
thinking what I'm thinking?
338
00:29:45,216 --> 00:29:48,845
- No more spandex?
- No, sweetie.
339
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:51,047
Well, then what, honey?
340
00:29:51,122 --> 00:29:53,955
If you can't lick 'em,
join 'em.
341
00:29:54,025 --> 00:29:57,893
Who's getting licked?
342
00:30:32,330 --> 00:30:35,094
We are geniuses.
343
00:30:40,605 --> 00:30:42,539
Do you know
where the scissors are?
344
00:30:42,607 --> 00:30:44,973
I think they're in the kitchen
in the third drawer.
345
00:30:45,043 --> 00:30:48,342
Okay.
346
00:30:48,413 --> 00:30:50,779
I spy your little eye.
347
00:30:50,849 --> 00:30:53,784
It's the bartender
from downstairs.
Hello?
348
00:30:53,852 --> 00:30:55,820
Gimme that!
I can hear you.
349
00:30:55,887 --> 00:30:58,981
Put that on. Put it on!
What's going on in there?
You can't say hi?
350
00:30:59,057 --> 00:31:01,048
The guacamole.
351
00:31:01,125 --> 00:31:03,923
I can't hear them.
Should we go?
352
00:31:03,995 --> 00:31:06,725
How you doing?
What's going on?
353
00:31:07,799 --> 00:31:10,290
Welcome wagon.
We live on the top floor. Hi.
354
00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:11,995
Hey.
Oh.
355
00:31:13,338 --> 00:31:16,933
Dear, girlfriends
need a decorator.
356
00:31:23,548 --> 00:31:26,073
- Hi. I'm Paul.
- I'm Brian. My stage name's
Patty Melt.
357
00:31:27,452 --> 00:31:29,977
By day, I'm Robert.
And this is my roommate, Lee.
358
00:31:30,054 --> 00:31:33,956
By night, we're a duo act...
Peaches 'N' Cream.
359
00:31:34,025 --> 00:31:35,959
- I hate our name.
- I think it's beautiful.
360
00:31:36,027 --> 00:31:38,791
That's because you're
the Peaches part.
I'm 'N' Cream.
361
00:31:38,863 --> 00:31:42,924
My name is 'N' Cream.
What does it even mean?
362
00:31:45,970 --> 00:31:48,438
- That's really nice.
- Fabulous.
363
00:31:48,506 --> 00:31:51,168
Come. Come. Come on.
Join us.
364
00:31:56,981 --> 00:31:58,949
All queens rise.
365
00:32:03,821 --> 00:32:06,187
O blessed
St. Mary of Drag Queens,
366
00:32:06,257 --> 00:32:08,452
please grantyour never humble servants...
367
00:32:08,526 --> 00:32:12,826
and our new friends
with grace, jewels
and support hose.
368
00:32:12,897 --> 00:32:15,297
- Gay-men.
- Gay-men.
369
00:32:15,366 --> 00:32:17,300
And bless mewith a new name.
370
00:32:17,368 --> 00:32:19,461
Hello. I don't even
have a drag name.
371
00:32:19,537 --> 00:32:21,027
Why not?
Yeah, what's up with that?
372
00:32:21,105 --> 00:32:23,471
Well, I'm new,
so I can't name myself.
373
00:32:23,541 --> 00:32:26,271
You want 'N' Cream?
No, thanks.
374
00:32:26,344 --> 00:32:27,811
Rosemary Chicken.
375
00:32:27,879 --> 00:32:29,346
Mary, Queen of Shots?
Mm-mm.
376
00:32:29,414 --> 00:32:31,006
Est�e Lauder Harder Faster?
377
00:32:31,082 --> 00:32:33,550
- What?
- Ooh, can I borrow this?
378
00:32:33,618 --> 00:32:36,553
- Hey, hey, what time is it?
- Five-ish.
379
00:32:36,621 --> 00:32:40,990
Uh, the show.
We have to shave... everything.
380
00:32:41,059 --> 00:32:44,153
- You're so lucky
to be paid to perform.
- Sorry? What was that?
381
00:32:44,228 --> 00:32:46,355
- What?
- Perform.
382
00:32:46,431 --> 00:32:48,490
Look. There are very few
paying drag gigs in this town.
383
00:32:48,566 --> 00:32:52,024
And I have to bartend at The Handlebar,and frankly, it's beneath me.
384
00:32:52,103 --> 00:32:54,037
So, here it is.
385
00:32:54,105 --> 00:32:57,006
Have you ever thought about
adding a few fabulous friends
to your show?
386
00:32:57,075 --> 00:33:00,272
If you need some great new choreography,I know some fabulous new dance steps.
387
00:33:00,345 --> 00:33:02,677
I'm great with wigs.
I can sew a dress
in three hours.
388
00:33:02,747 --> 00:33:05,011
I'll lend you my jewels.
389
00:33:05,083 --> 00:33:08,575
Call us.We could use the buck.
390
00:33:08,653 --> 00:33:11,019
We'll give it some thought.
391
00:33:11,089 --> 00:33:13,421
Yea! Bye.
Great! Excellent.
392
00:33:13,491 --> 00:33:15,721
Come on, you guys.Let's go clean our apartment.For your brother.
393
00:33:15,793 --> 00:33:17,727
You invited him over?
Are you drunk?
394
00:33:17,795 --> 00:33:20,286
A little.
You know, Robert left home
when he was just 16.
395
00:33:20,365 --> 00:33:23,027
Brian!
Well, I'm glad I don't have
a straight brother.
396
00:33:23,101 --> 00:33:25,763
Now, now, we mustn't be prejudice.
Straights are people too.
397
00:33:32,143 --> 00:33:34,077
Come on.
398
00:33:37,415 --> 00:33:40,213
Look at all the people, Carla.
399
00:35:35,700 --> 00:35:40,034
Oh, shush.Oh, all right.
400
00:35:41,439 --> 00:35:44,670
Enough already.
Yeah, that's right. Yeah.
401
00:35:56,254 --> 00:35:59,121
- That looks great.
- Glamorizing our new look a bit.
402
00:35:59,190 --> 00:36:02,057
I mean, you know,
under the lights,
these could be great.
403
00:36:02,126 --> 00:36:04,822
Especially on turns.
Whoo!
404
00:36:04,896 --> 00:36:07,729
- These could be dangerous.
- Yeah.
405
00:36:07,798 --> 00:36:10,562
- Oh.
- Aw.
406
00:36:10,635 --> 00:36:14,435
- What?
- It's just... It's great
to see you happy.
407
00:36:14,505 --> 00:36:17,440
Come on, admit it.You do love the show.
408
00:36:17,508 --> 00:36:20,068
Yeah, it's a drag.
Pun intended.
409
00:36:20,144 --> 00:36:22,669
Hey, my plan worked.
410
00:36:22,747 --> 00:36:26,342
Yeah. I'm kinda worried
about how well-known
we're getting.
411
00:36:26,417 --> 00:36:28,749
- Only in West Hollywood.
- But I miss...
412
00:36:28,819 --> 00:36:32,346
- Don't say Mikey.
- Boys. I miss boys
who like to kiss girls.
413
00:36:32,423 --> 00:36:36,382
Forget it, okay.
Because we have no time for losers,
and we can't blow our cover.
414
00:36:38,996 --> 00:36:41,260
Are you there?
Oh, I lost you.
415
00:36:41,332 --> 00:36:44,096
Oh, now I hear you.
Oh, now I lost you.
416
00:36:45,169 --> 00:36:48,400
- Robert, you all right?- Oh, yeah, sure.
417
00:36:48,472 --> 00:36:51,635
I'm just going to meet my brother
for the first time in 106 years.
418
00:36:51,709 --> 00:36:54,109
Did you have a fight?
No.
419
00:36:55,813 --> 00:36:57,747
Look.
420
00:36:57,815 --> 00:37:02,115
I haven't had any contact
with my family in a long time.
421
00:37:02,186 --> 00:37:04,780
My choice.
422
00:37:04,855 --> 00:37:09,792
Six months ago, I get
a little sentimental watching TV...
Hallmark commercials.
423
00:37:10,861 --> 00:37:13,159
So I send my grandmaa birthday card,
424
00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:15,631
with my return
address label on it.
425
00:37:15,700 --> 00:37:19,192
So then my brotherstarts coming around.
426
00:37:19,270 --> 00:37:22,239
Starts leaving me messages,
"Hey, let's be brothers again."
427
00:37:22,306 --> 00:37:24,934
You don't want a brother?
428
00:37:25,009 --> 00:37:26,943
He's just gonna hate me.
429
00:37:27,011 --> 00:37:29,070
No, he won't.
430
00:37:33,651 --> 00:37:37,087
Does he know
you dress with style?
431
00:37:37,154 --> 00:37:40,521
Yeah, I told him on the phone.
432
00:37:40,591 --> 00:37:45,290
I figured I'd go
without the ball gown,
just to ease him into things.
433
00:37:48,666 --> 00:37:50,600
Let me see.
434
00:37:53,037 --> 00:37:56,666
There you go.
Blue's your best color.
435
00:37:56,741 --> 00:37:58,675
Thanks, sweetie.
436
00:39:04,575 --> 00:39:07,874
Well, this was a mistake.
437
00:39:25,396 --> 00:39:30,925
Hello, Rudy.
438
00:39:31,001 --> 00:39:33,333
It's Tibor.
What do you got?
439
00:39:33,404 --> 00:39:36,601
I'm in St. Louis.
They're not here.
440
00:39:36,674 --> 00:39:41,373
Hey, I'm down a kilo
and I'm up two witnesses.
Find them!
441
00:39:55,893 --> 00:39:58,054
- Oh, for God's sake, what?
- What?
442
00:39:58,129 --> 00:40:00,461
What are you doing?
Following me?
Watching every move I make?
443
00:40:00,531 --> 00:40:04,934
I'm not watching you.
I-I just thought it'd be fun
to hang out.
444
00:40:05,002 --> 00:40:06,367
Why?
Why not?
445
00:40:06,437 --> 00:40:07,768
Why?
Why not?
446
00:40:07,838 --> 00:40:09,169
Grow up.
You grow up.
447
00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:10,935
You grow up.
Make me.
448
00:40:16,981 --> 00:40:19,506
Well, at least do
some shopping yourself.
449
00:40:20,584 --> 00:40:22,677
Please?
450
00:40:23,921 --> 00:40:26,981
- Mom likes irises too.
- Save it for Dr. Phil.
451
00:40:27,057 --> 00:40:29,787
- Okay.
- Hi, Mrs. Phillips.
452
00:40:29,860 --> 00:40:32,090
Hi, Mrs. Phillips.
Hello.
453
00:40:32,163 --> 00:40:34,290
Robert, I thought it'd be nice
to spend a beautiful Saturday...
454
00:40:34,365 --> 00:40:37,232
Jeff, why the sudden interest
in me after all this time?
455
00:40:37,301 --> 00:40:40,566
Well, for a long time,
I couldn't find you, remember?
456
00:40:40,638 --> 00:40:45,598
And, uh, I think I'm gonna
marry someone.
457
00:40:45,676 --> 00:40:48,509
And if that's gonna happen,
I want you to be there.
458
00:40:51,182 --> 00:40:53,446
Oh.
459
00:40:58,889 --> 00:41:01,983
Come on.
I need cheese.
460
00:41:03,928 --> 00:41:05,293
Are you sure?
Yeah, yeah.
461
00:41:05,362 --> 00:41:09,162
Oh. That's my girlfriend.
462
00:41:09,233 --> 00:41:11,861
Oh, no, take it.
I'll see if they're home.
463
00:41:11,936 --> 00:41:15,838
Bonjour, mes filles.
464
00:41:17,374 --> 00:41:20,275
C'est moi. Hello?
465
00:41:20,344 --> 00:41:22,278
Sorry, sorry.
466
00:41:22,346 --> 00:41:24,837
Ouvrir la porte.
467
00:41:24,915 --> 00:41:27,907
Here's your hair.
No, no, I got it.
Take it with you.
468
00:41:27,985 --> 00:41:30,749
Get a robe. Get a robe.
That's yours.
469
00:41:30,821 --> 00:41:32,812
I hear running.
470
00:41:35,659 --> 00:41:37,820
How you doing?
What's going on?
471
00:41:37,895 --> 00:41:41,262
Wow. Good look.
472
00:41:41,332 --> 00:41:44,199
Whoa.
So, uh, how's it going
with your brother?
473
00:41:44,268 --> 00:41:47,169
Jeff.
474
00:41:49,106 --> 00:41:51,199
I'll call you later.
475
00:42:00,818 --> 00:42:05,846
Jeff, these are my girlfriends,
the Connie and Carla.
476
00:42:05,923 --> 00:42:08,915
Hi, Jeff.
Welcome to the dollhouse.
Want me to condition your hair?
477
00:42:08,993 --> 00:42:11,962
No, I-I ran a cream rinse
through it this morning,
so I'm good.
478
00:42:12,029 --> 00:42:14,520
So, I'll take a rain check.
479
00:42:14,598 --> 00:42:17,795
Uh, you all work
at The Handlebar too?
480
00:42:17,868 --> 00:42:19,802
Oh, yeah,
we all work there.
481
00:42:19,870 --> 00:42:22,964
Work? Jeff, these broads
have transformed that dive
into a legit cabaret.
482
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:25,873
- I wish I was in that show. Hint.
- All right.
483
00:42:25,943 --> 00:42:27,774
Hint.
We heard you.
484
00:42:27,845 --> 00:42:29,540
Hint.
Back off.
485
00:42:29,613 --> 00:42:32,946
All right, get outta my way.
Get outta my way.
Let's get outta here.
486
00:42:33,017 --> 00:42:36,475
Oh! Hello.
Hi, I'm Brian.
This is Paul and Lee.
487
00:42:36,554 --> 00:42:39,045
I'm Robert's best "briend."
His what?
488
00:42:39,123 --> 00:42:41,489
Best friend.
He's also my roommate.
Come see my apartment.
489
00:42:41,559 --> 00:42:43,891
No, ours.
Down, girls, down.
Down, down, down.
490
00:42:43,961 --> 00:42:46,395
Are you hungry?Do you like fish sticks?
491
00:42:46,463 --> 00:42:49,261
I'll make them Filipino style.
They taste just like chicken.
492
00:42:49,333 --> 00:42:53,326
Oh, my God.
I like him.
493
00:42:53,404 --> 00:42:55,338
I saw him before
when we were still girls.
494
00:42:55,406 --> 00:42:58,136
He was standing out front.
We had this moment, Carla.
495
00:42:58,208 --> 00:43:01,268
- He was nice to me.
- What are you talking about?
496
00:43:01,345 --> 00:43:05,304
Right. Why would he ever
be attracted to me?
497
00:43:05,382 --> 00:43:07,782
I'm a drag queen.
498
00:43:07,851 --> 00:43:10,615
- No, you can't blow our cover
for some guy.
- Oh, yeah, I know.
499
00:43:11,589 --> 00:43:13,682
I know.
500
00:43:13,757 --> 00:43:16,317
I know.
501
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:25,334
Thanks.
Have a good show tonight.
502
00:43:25,402 --> 00:43:28,166
Stanley, we want to add
some friends to the act.
503
00:43:28,238 --> 00:43:30,331
You've gotta get a food license
and expand this place.
504
00:43:30,407 --> 00:43:35,037
Here's my plan:
We're adding more leg,
you gotta add some legroom.
505
00:43:35,112 --> 00:43:38,673
- Uh, what would that cost?
- I'll add up some figures. What...
506
00:43:38,749 --> 00:43:40,979
Excuse me.
I'll be backstage.
507
00:43:41,051 --> 00:43:43,383
What are you doing?
What?
508
00:43:43,454 --> 00:43:45,922
This show is our destiny
waiting to happen...
dinner theater.
509
00:43:45,990 --> 00:43:48,515
We can't expand the show.
We'll get more well-known,
510
00:43:48,592 --> 00:43:50,526
and then word will travel
straight to those killers.
511
00:43:50,594 --> 00:43:52,528
They're not looking for
a couple of drag queens.
512
00:43:52,596 --> 00:43:54,962
How do you know? They're serious.
They have a lot of connections.
513
00:43:55,032 --> 00:43:57,159
They haven't found us.
They're not connected
to this world.
514
00:43:57,234 --> 00:43:59,429
We're safe.
We're drag queens. Whoo!
515
00:43:59,503 --> 00:44:02,995
You're a freak.
Yeah, and you're a freak
with me.
516
00:44:09,380 --> 00:44:12,838
No. No. Yes. Rudy, I tell you.
517
00:44:12,916 --> 00:44:16,079
I have seen almosteverything on Broadway.They're not in it.
518
00:44:16,153 --> 00:44:18,781
I saw Gypsy last night.
They're not there.
519
00:44:18,856 --> 00:44:21,689
I saw Rent,
which was surprising,
520
00:44:21,759 --> 00:44:24,353
to be so poignant
with a narrative,
521
00:44:24,428 --> 00:44:28,364
added to by emotional performances
which bring the audience into the story.
522
00:44:28,432 --> 00:44:30,366
Like...
Intimate story?
Intimate story!
523
00:44:30,434 --> 00:44:32,402
I got an intimate story.
I'm gonna kill you if you don't...
524
00:44:32,469 --> 00:44:36,337
Okay, okay, okay.
I have good news.
525
00:44:36,407 --> 00:44:39,968
I got a ticket
to the matinee of Hairspray.
526
00:44:40,044 --> 00:44:42,672
Hello?
527
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:48,343
Five, six, seven, eight.
528
00:44:52,489 --> 00:44:55,515
Carla!
What?
He pushed me.
529
00:44:55,592 --> 00:44:58,925
- I am a trained dancer.
- Connie, Carla, move more like this.
530
00:44:58,996 --> 00:45:01,191
- Hide all your masculinity.
- Chickapow!
531
00:45:01,265 --> 00:45:03,961
No one follow me this time.
I'm delicate.
All right.
532
00:45:04,034 --> 00:45:06,059
Crystal Decanter.
That's not my name.
533
00:45:06,136 --> 00:45:08,036
- How 'bout Patty, like me?
Patty Cake.
- No.
534
00:45:08,105 --> 00:45:09,732
- Patty O' Furniture.
- No.
535
00:45:09,807 --> 00:45:11,468
- Patty Pooper.
- No.
536
00:45:11,542 --> 00:45:14,602
Great. Can we all
please dance now?
537
00:45:14,678 --> 00:45:17,238
What's this?
Why do you wear a bra
during the day?
538
00:45:20,818 --> 00:45:25,084
Well, if you must know,
being in drag helps us
practice our moves.
539
00:45:27,825 --> 00:45:29,759
Hmm. Good falsies.
What do you use?
540
00:45:29,827 --> 00:45:31,795
None of your beeswax.
541
00:45:37,568 --> 00:45:39,502
Yeah, they're really good.
You should all have a feel.
542
00:45:45,509 --> 00:45:48,239
Supple. Good.
Well, they are good.
543
00:45:48,312 --> 00:45:50,371
Hmm.
Hmm.
544
00:45:50,447 --> 00:45:52,745
Back to work.
Okay then.
545
00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:59,687
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.No way! Put it back!Uh-uh. No, whoa.
546
00:45:59,757 --> 00:46:02,191
I don't have this kind of money.
Stanley.
547
00:46:02,259 --> 00:46:05,717
Here's my plan.
You only have to do
80% capacity,
548
00:46:05,796 --> 00:46:07,855
and you'll make your money back
within three months.
549
00:46:07,931 --> 00:46:11,458
All you gotta pay out now
is the construction.
I got it all under control.
550
00:46:11,535 --> 00:46:16,131
Sir, hi. We've talked about this.
Yeah, the tables have to be this high.
551
00:46:16,206 --> 00:46:19,334
Right? Right. Why?
Stanley, look at me.
552
00:46:19,409 --> 00:46:21,775
I'm eating my surf and turf.
Oh, watching a terrific show.
553
00:46:21,845 --> 00:46:24,279
Eating, watching.
Dinner, theater.
See? Dinner theater.
554
00:46:24,348 --> 00:46:26,680
Where do you think
the whole TV dinner thing
came from?
555
00:46:26,750 --> 00:46:29,810
Right, Carla?
Uh, yeah, this high.
556
00:46:31,622 --> 00:46:33,954
Stanley? Come on.
557
00:46:34,024 --> 00:46:37,391
Stanley.
558
00:46:39,763 --> 00:46:41,697
Hmm?
I'll get a loan
from my mother.
559
00:46:41,765 --> 00:46:43,699
Yea!
560
00:47:15,499 --> 00:47:17,729
Whoa!
Whoa!
561
00:47:17,801 --> 00:47:20,269
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I should watch
where I'm going.
562
00:47:20,337 --> 00:47:24,103
That's okay, doll.
563
00:47:25,175 --> 00:47:27,507
I'm Connie.
I met you.
564
00:47:27,578 --> 00:47:31,844
Oh, yeah.
Oh, I'm here to take
Robert out for lunch.
565
00:47:31,915 --> 00:47:34,907
- Just, you know...
- That's nice.
566
00:47:36,486 --> 00:47:39,011
Well, he's my brother, so...
567
00:47:39,089 --> 00:47:42,252
Take him out...
Take him out to lunch.
568
00:47:42,326 --> 00:47:44,226
Well, you're nice.
569
00:47:44,294 --> 00:47:48,594
Well, you're... you're nice too,
you know. Uh...
570
00:47:48,665 --> 00:47:51,031
I mean, uh...
571
00:47:51,101 --> 00:47:53,592
- You know, uh...
- Hello!
572
00:47:53,670 --> 00:47:55,865
I'll be right down.
573
00:47:55,939 --> 00:47:57,736
What?
574
00:47:57,808 --> 00:48:00,470
Ayayay.
575
00:48:00,544 --> 00:48:03,274
I have to go to the showafter lunch, so I dressed.
576
00:48:03,347 --> 00:48:07,443
Is there a problem, Jeff?
577
00:48:09,620 --> 00:48:13,784
- You wanna cancel?
- No. No, no, no.
578
00:48:13,857 --> 00:48:16,621
- I'll be right down.
- Oh, boy.
579
00:48:18,061 --> 00:48:21,087
Take him to the Tube
around the corner.
The owner's one of us.
580
00:48:21,164 --> 00:48:24,793
People won't stare as much.
Thank you.
581
00:48:24,868 --> 00:48:26,836
Sure.
582
00:48:26,904 --> 00:48:29,236
You like my garbage?
583
00:48:29,306 --> 00:48:33,140
Um, uh, a little bit.
Anything good in there?
584
00:48:36,246 --> 00:48:38,646
Hey, sweetie.
585
00:48:39,850 --> 00:48:41,784
- Robert.
- Nails.
586
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:45,054
Nails.
587
00:49:01,338 --> 00:49:02,771
Tibor!
Mama's Pizza!
588
00:49:02,839 --> 00:49:04,773
Knock it off. You're telling me
you found them, right?
589
00:49:04,841 --> 00:49:07,639
Uh, Rudy, no, not yet.
Come on!
590
00:49:07,711 --> 00:49:11,078
Hey, maybe you put someone
at Mexico border
to search for their car.
591
00:49:11,148 --> 00:49:14,982
Mexico border? That's a great idea.
I'll put somebody at the Canadian border,
or we could put...
592
00:50:05,602 --> 00:50:07,832
Whoa, Nelly.
You okay?
593
00:50:07,904 --> 00:50:10,498
- Yeah, are you okay?
- Yeah. Padding.
594
00:50:10,574 --> 00:50:13,065
Oh.
Yeah.
595
00:50:13,143 --> 00:50:16,408
- Robert's out having a manicure.
- Oh.
596
00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:18,846
Mm-hmm. Here.
597
00:50:18,915 --> 00:50:21,383
Wanna come over?
What?
598
00:50:21,451 --> 00:50:26,286
No, no, no, no.
I have something...
I have a-a...
599
00:50:26,356 --> 00:50:29,450
You know, I got a prior commitment.
600
00:50:29,526 --> 00:50:31,619
No problem.
601
00:50:34,431 --> 00:50:38,765
Um, you know the other day
when I said that you were nice?
602
00:50:38,835 --> 00:50:42,430
I-I meant it.
You are... You are very nice.
603
00:50:42,506 --> 00:50:45,134
I just... I just meant it, um,
604
00:50:45,208 --> 00:50:48,871
a friendly way, you know?
605
00:50:48,945 --> 00:50:51,641
I'm-I'm not gay.
606
00:50:51,715 --> 00:50:54,206
Neither am I.
What?
607
00:50:54,284 --> 00:50:58,152
Nothing. It's complicated.
608
00:50:58,221 --> 00:51:00,883
I bet.
609
00:51:00,957 --> 00:51:02,356
All right.
Okay.
610
00:51:02,426 --> 00:51:04,257
All right.
Good.
611
00:51:04,327 --> 00:51:05,487
All right.
See ya.
612
00:51:05,562 --> 00:51:07,496
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
613
00:51:07,564 --> 00:51:10,829
Hey, do straight guys
drink coffee?
614
00:51:20,977 --> 00:51:23,275
- What do you do for a living?
- How long have you been a drag queen?
615
00:51:23,346 --> 00:51:26,076
Sorry.
I'm sorry. I just...
616
00:51:26,149 --> 00:51:28,982
I've never known...
617
00:51:29,052 --> 00:51:32,419
a cross-dressing person before, so...
618
00:51:32,489 --> 00:51:37,119
- You know your brother.
- Oh, yeah. Well, no.
It's been a long time.
619
00:51:37,194 --> 00:51:40,425
- Yeah. It's hard.
- It's hard, but I'm a bit of an optimist.
620
00:51:40,497 --> 00:51:43,159
Me too.
I-I'm stubborn, you know?
I don't give up.
621
00:51:44,634 --> 00:51:48,161
You know, I wasn't always
in a successful show.
622
00:51:48,238 --> 00:51:51,469
And I had...I had this friend.
623
00:51:51,541 --> 00:51:56,171
He told me to give up.
He called me a dreamer.
624
00:51:56,246 --> 00:52:01,377
- That's not very nice.
- Yeah.
625
00:52:01,451 --> 00:52:03,385
I know.
626
00:52:13,864 --> 00:52:16,560
- I gotta go.
- Okay.
627
00:52:16,633 --> 00:52:21,297
I just wanna know why you do it.
Why-Why you like to dress up? You guys.
628
00:52:21,371 --> 00:52:24,704
Oh.
I'm sorry, that's personal.
629
00:52:24,774 --> 00:52:27,436
No, that's okay.
630
00:52:27,511 --> 00:52:32,847
It's... It's kind of like this.
It's like dressing how you feel inside.
631
00:52:34,084 --> 00:52:36,848
You know?
You know what, Jeff?
632
00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:39,286
I haven't known your brother
for very long, but I think...
633
00:52:39,356 --> 00:52:43,349
I mean, I think, he's happy.
634
00:52:43,426 --> 00:52:45,326
We've only got one life.
635
00:52:45,395 --> 00:52:48,421
It's just a little strange that
my brother's out getting
a manicure right now.
636
00:52:48,498 --> 00:52:51,331
What, haven't you
ever had one?
God, no.
637
00:52:51,401 --> 00:52:55,804
Well, you live in L.A.
Everybody gets their backs waxed
and things plucked and...
638
00:52:55,872 --> 00:52:58,204
I don't pluck.
I-I've never been plucked.
639
00:52:58,275 --> 00:53:01,244
And-And I don't do manicures.
640
00:53:01,311 --> 00:53:03,279
Relax your hand.
I'm relaxed.
641
00:53:03,346 --> 00:53:05,280
Wait... Look at it.
It's like a claw.
642
00:53:05,348 --> 00:53:07,509
- Okay, I'm relaxed.
- Open.
643
00:53:07,584 --> 00:53:11,350
No polish though.
Deal.
644
00:53:15,325 --> 00:53:18,886
- And?
- Nothing.
645
00:53:18,962 --> 00:53:21,954
Oh, come on. Spill it.
646
00:53:22,032 --> 00:53:24,967
- All right, but only 'cause
we're talking guy to guy.
- Right.
647
00:53:25,035 --> 00:53:29,028
- I've been seeing this woman.
- You got a girlfriend?
648
00:53:29,105 --> 00:53:33,735
Oh, no. I'm gonna propose.
I mean, we're at that stage where
I should make a commitment.
649
00:53:33,810 --> 00:53:37,940
But, uh, I'm not really sure
if we're right for one another.
I mean, she doesn't make me laugh.
650
00:53:38,014 --> 00:53:40,949
Oh, you gotta get out.
You gotta pull the cord on that mission.
651
00:53:41,017 --> 00:53:44,953
Abort. Wah!
That could just be me being
afraid to take it to the next level.
652
00:53:45,021 --> 00:53:49,185
You know, I had this girlfriend once
who told me I had issues
about getting too close.
653
00:53:51,728 --> 00:53:55,164
I stopped talking to her.
654
00:53:56,566 --> 00:53:58,625
Have you told your girlfriend
about Robert?
655
00:53:58,702 --> 00:54:01,671
- No.
- But you're going to?
656
00:54:01,738 --> 00:54:03,569
Oh, yeah.
657
00:54:05,408 --> 00:54:07,239
No.
658
00:54:07,310 --> 00:54:09,642
Well, maybe.
659
00:54:12,182 --> 00:54:14,082
No.
660
00:54:16,186 --> 00:54:18,814
I really gotta go now.
This was fun.
661
00:54:18,888 --> 00:54:22,051
I've never missed a day of work.
I work all the time.
662
00:54:22,125 --> 00:54:25,288
Oh, yeah.
But, it's nice
just to hang out.
663
00:54:25,362 --> 00:54:28,024
Thanks for the manicure.
Don't tell anybody.
664
00:54:28,098 --> 00:54:30,032
Okay.
665
00:54:35,538 --> 00:54:39,269
Aren't you nervous?
How can you eat at a time like this?
I can't believe it.
666
00:54:39,342 --> 00:54:42,675
Oy, is there lipstick
on my teeth?
No.
667
00:54:42,746 --> 00:54:44,680
Liar.
Let's go.
668
00:54:44,748 --> 00:54:47,216
Chickapow!
Chickapow!
669
00:54:50,687 --> 00:54:52,621
Where were you today?
670
00:54:54,424 --> 00:54:57,882
Hmm?
You were supposed to
meet me.
671
00:54:59,562 --> 00:55:02,053
I thought
we were gonna go shopping.
672
00:55:09,139 --> 00:55:11,630
You know, Carla, maybe we should
watch our weight a little.
673
00:55:11,708 --> 00:55:16,008
I mean, we practically need
olive oil to grease the zippers
on these costumes.
674
00:55:16,079 --> 00:55:19,412
What? Don't go all L.A.
on me, Connie.
675
00:55:19,482 --> 00:55:22,474
All these women come to our show
and idolize us...
676
00:55:22,552 --> 00:55:26,181
because as men we have better
female self-esteem than they do.
677
00:55:26,256 --> 00:55:29,589
Boy, you have some nerve.
Are you all right?
678
00:55:29,659 --> 00:55:33,823
No! I was at that mall
all day by myself, Connie.
679
00:55:33,897 --> 00:55:36,923
People stared at me.
I felt naked.
680
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:41,266
I can't hide out like this much longer.
I need to get out of this closet.
681
00:55:41,338 --> 00:55:44,034
Well, you can't.
682
00:55:45,775 --> 00:55:47,936
Let's go.
683
00:55:48,011 --> 00:55:53,005
Polar bear walks into a barand says, "I'll have a... beer."
684
00:55:53,083 --> 00:55:56,075
Bartender says,
"What's with the big pause?"
685
00:55:56,152 --> 00:55:59,485
And the polar bear says,
"Always had 'em."
686
00:55:59,556 --> 00:56:01,888
You suck!
687
00:56:01,958 --> 00:56:04,290
You're outta here, Brad.
688
00:56:04,361 --> 00:56:08,957
All right, uh, well, please welcome
Connie and Carla and the Belles
of the Balls.
689
00:57:00,316 --> 00:57:04,810
Ladies and gentlemen, good evening.
Welcome to the show.
690
00:57:04,888 --> 00:57:08,517
Aren't we all divine?
691
00:57:08,591 --> 00:57:11,526
All right, here's the show
we have planned for you tonight.
692
00:57:11,594 --> 00:57:14,028
Wait! Wait! Stop!
693
00:57:15,365 --> 00:57:18,198
I have an announcement to make.
694
00:57:20,236 --> 00:57:23,399
It's time you all knew.
Carla, don't.
695
00:57:23,473 --> 00:57:27,637
I... am...
696
00:57:29,612 --> 00:57:32,638
an eater!
697
00:57:32,715 --> 00:57:34,649
That's right, ladies and gentlemen,
698
00:57:34,717 --> 00:57:37,550
and soon we're gonna be
a full-service dinner theater.
699
00:57:37,620 --> 00:57:43,286
This is what America needs.
To eat and watch a show
where real women are real women.
700
00:57:43,359 --> 00:57:46,851
If you're naturally slim, fine.Okay, but come on.
701
00:57:46,930 --> 00:57:51,958
Starving ourselves to get thin.
No hips, no breasts
until we look just like little boys.
702
00:57:52,969 --> 00:57:58,202
Girlfriends, big or small,thin or fat, worship that body.
703
00:57:58,274 --> 00:58:00,208
It's the only one you've got.
704
00:58:04,113 --> 00:58:06,581
Hit it!
705
00:58:30,773 --> 00:58:34,265
Good night, Stanley.
Ow!
706
00:58:34,344 --> 00:58:37,074
Oy.
707
00:58:40,250 --> 00:58:42,184
Oh.
708
00:58:44,187 --> 00:58:46,747
Here you go.
709
00:58:46,823 --> 00:58:50,816
Thank you.
710
00:58:53,196 --> 00:58:55,130
Cotton absorbs.
711
00:59:00,703 --> 00:59:02,637
Um.
712
00:59:06,109 --> 00:59:08,270
Surprised they don't
market it like that.
713
00:59:08,344 --> 00:59:11,370
Mm-hmm.
714
00:59:14,384 --> 00:59:18,878
I-I'm looking for Robert.
His cell phone is off. Is he in there?
715
00:59:18,955 --> 00:59:20,923
No, she's gone.
You missed our show.
716
00:59:20,990 --> 00:59:24,721
Oh, I'm not ready to see that yet.
No offense about your job.
717
00:59:24,794 --> 00:59:27,888
None taken. It's not like
I'm itching to come down
and watch you flip burgers.
718
00:59:27,964 --> 00:59:30,489
I'm a financial advisor.
719
00:59:30,567 --> 00:59:33,900
Of course.
I can smell the stress on you.
720
00:59:33,970 --> 00:59:36,063
I'm not as uptight
as you think I am.
721
00:59:36,139 --> 00:59:39,267
Yes, you are.
722
00:59:46,583 --> 00:59:49,108
Hey, bartender, I'm thirsty.
723
00:59:49,185 --> 00:59:54,179
Hey, hey. Why are you...
Why are you different when you're
away from all the other drag queens?
724
00:59:54,257 --> 00:59:56,589
- What do you mean?
- I mean, it's like there's
some kind of...
725
00:59:56,659 --> 00:59:59,492
drag queen code of behavior
or something, you know?
726
00:59:59,562 --> 01:00:03,054
It's like...
Stripes?
727
01:00:03,132 --> 01:00:06,590
Mary! Holy Martha Stewart's
prison collection.
728
01:00:06,669 --> 01:00:10,332
I-I-I got three words for you, Miss Thing.
729
01:00:10,406 --> 01:00:12,897
No, no, no and...
730
01:00:12,976 --> 01:00:16,104
Four words. Yesterday!
731
01:00:16,179 --> 01:00:18,340
It's ridiculous.
What is that?
732
01:00:18,414 --> 01:00:21,906
What? What was that?
733
01:00:21,985 --> 01:00:24,977
Oh, please, don't make me do it again.
I think I pulled something.
734
01:00:25,054 --> 01:00:27,545
I mean, I wanna figure it out.
I really do.
735
01:00:27,624 --> 01:00:30,115
I mean, are you...
736
01:00:30,193 --> 01:00:31,990
What's the thrill?
Are you hiding?
737
01:00:32,061 --> 01:00:33,995
Actually, I am hiding.
Yeah?
738
01:00:34,063 --> 01:00:37,726
Some murderers are after me
and I'm hiding out as a drag queen.
739
01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:41,395
Really. Really, I'm asking you really.
I'd like to know. I wanna figure
this whole thing out.
740
01:00:43,406 --> 01:00:47,399
Is this the real you,
or are you playing dress up?
741
01:00:47,477 --> 01:00:51,311
You understand?
Are you... Are you playing dress up?
742
01:00:51,381 --> 01:00:54,407
Or is this the real you?
743
01:00:54,484 --> 01:00:56,975
I don't think you could handle
the real me.
744
01:00:57,053 --> 01:01:00,045
You'd be all,
"Oh, I want my mommy."
745
01:01:03,526 --> 01:01:05,494
Uh-uh.
It's true.
746
01:01:05,561 --> 01:01:07,893
Uh-uh.
So a real woman
doesn't scare you?
747
01:01:07,964 --> 01:01:11,957
No. But, Connie,
you're not a real woman.
748
01:01:12,035 --> 01:01:14,526
Oh, you'd be surprised, baby.
749
01:01:14,604 --> 01:01:16,765
I know your type.
You like uptight girls.
750
01:01:16,839 --> 01:01:19,672
That is not true.
That is so not true.
751
01:01:19,742 --> 01:01:21,676
Really?
Yeah.
752
01:01:21,744 --> 01:01:24,110
Am I your type?
753
01:01:27,283 --> 01:01:30,775
Sure. Yeah.
You think I'm attractive?
754
01:01:32,789 --> 01:01:35,280
Connie, I've never seen you
out of drag,
755
01:01:35,358 --> 01:01:39,351
but-but, uh,
I have to say that as a broad,
756
01:01:39,429 --> 01:01:43,422
you're-you're a real looker.
Ahh!
757
01:01:43,499 --> 01:01:45,990
Can I get another one, please?
758
01:02:06,022 --> 01:02:09,116
I have been to dinner theatersin Idaho, to cabarets in Kansas.
759
01:02:09,192 --> 01:02:11,456
I have watched every showin this whole country.
760
01:02:11,527 --> 01:02:14,758
Connie and Carla have disappeared.
761
01:02:25,174 --> 01:02:27,665
You're just mad
'cause Connie didn't call you.
762
01:02:27,744 --> 01:02:32,340
Mikey, get it through that chunk-a-head
of yours, Connie and Carla...
they're gone.
763
01:02:34,584 --> 01:02:36,848
Hey!
764
01:02:36,919 --> 01:02:39,786
Sorry, Mr. Rudy. Whoa.
765
01:02:39,856 --> 01:02:43,189
Who are you?
I'm Al.
766
01:02:43,259 --> 01:02:45,250
I'm new.
767
01:02:45,328 --> 01:02:48,491
What's your problem, Al?
768
01:02:48,564 --> 01:02:51,556
Mikey. His girlfriend
took off on him and...
769
01:02:51,634 --> 01:02:53,932
th-that's all.
770
01:02:57,106 --> 01:02:59,040
I love a good story.
771
01:03:02,678 --> 01:03:05,841
- Where are Connie and Carla?
- We don't know.
772
01:03:05,915 --> 01:03:08,406
But Mikey says he got
a hang-up call last night.
773
01:03:08,484 --> 01:03:12,284
- Caller I.D. said area code 323.
- Los Angeles.
774
01:03:12,355 --> 01:03:14,949
- Oh.
- What a story.
775
01:03:15,024 --> 01:03:18,824
Listen, you guys
are useless to me here like this.
776
01:03:18,895 --> 01:03:21,625
What I want you to do is
I want you to go out there,
777
01:03:21,697 --> 01:03:24,894
and I want you
to find your girls.
Are you serious?
778
01:03:24,967 --> 01:03:27,959
And when you do, call me.
779
01:03:30,039 --> 01:03:32,303
Why?
780
01:03:32,375 --> 01:03:35,208
I gotta know how it ends.
781
01:03:35,278 --> 01:03:37,473
Uh, Mr. Rudy,
oh, thank you.
782
01:03:37,547 --> 01:03:39,071
Thanks.
783
01:03:43,019 --> 01:03:45,351
Follow that idiot.
784
01:03:55,131 --> 01:03:57,190
Uh, I already saw you.
785
01:03:57,266 --> 01:03:59,166
Hello? I...
786
01:03:59,235 --> 01:04:01,032
Hey!
787
01:04:01,103 --> 01:04:03,162
Wait!
Look, I'm not...
788
01:04:03,239 --> 01:04:05,002
I know you're not.
That was just a big...
789
01:04:05,074 --> 01:04:07,008
It was just a mistake,
what happened.
Yeah, a big mistake.
790
01:04:07,076 --> 01:04:09,909
Can't we be friends?
No. No, we can't.
791
01:04:09,979 --> 01:04:14,279
I don't have time for this.
This whole thing. Okay?
792
01:04:14,350 --> 01:04:16,215
It's not normal.
793
01:04:26,395 --> 01:04:30,024
Don't you think it's a little bit weird,Mr. Rudy giving us this cash to come out?
794
01:04:30,099 --> 01:04:33,091
- He cares about me.
- Since when?
795
01:04:33,169 --> 01:04:35,262
I'm not sure.
796
01:04:35,338 --> 01:04:38,865
There's some things about Mr. Rudy
that might surprise you.
797
01:04:38,941 --> 01:04:40,602
I heard some stuff.
798
01:04:41,944 --> 01:04:44,708
What'd I do?
Would you find a map?
799
01:04:52,221 --> 01:04:54,553
Wanna ride?
800
01:05:02,732 --> 01:05:06,725
You missed rehearsal this morning.
Carla, please.
801
01:05:06,802 --> 01:05:10,602
I just got dumped.
What are you talking about?
802
01:05:10,673 --> 01:05:13,733
How could I not know?
What, the straight guy?
803
01:05:13,809 --> 01:05:17,643
Yeah. But he thinks I'm a guy,
so it's over before it even started.
804
01:05:22,151 --> 01:05:26,815
- Isn't that Jeff?
- Oh, yeah. That's interesting.
805
01:05:33,195 --> 01:05:36,494
It's Jeff?
Right in the throat.
806
01:05:36,565 --> 01:05:38,499
Are you crazy?
You must be out of your mind!
807
01:05:38,567 --> 01:05:41,798
Carla! Carla!
Your knee is in my coochie!
Get off!
808
01:05:41,871 --> 01:05:44,101
Are you sick?
Do you have some kind
of death wish?
809
01:05:44,173 --> 01:05:46,107
Why would you take a chance
on exposing us?
810
01:05:46,175 --> 01:05:49,167
He'll talk about it to Robert,
then she'll talk. People will talk.
811
01:05:49,245 --> 01:05:52,612
Then those guys will find us
and kill us!
Your voice is giving me mono.
812
01:05:52,682 --> 01:05:55,845
Nothing happened. Back off!
813
01:05:58,387 --> 01:06:02,323
You yelled at me.
We're fighting.
814
01:06:02,391 --> 01:06:06,327
We never fight.
What's happening to us?
We're having a nervous breakdown.
815
01:06:06,395 --> 01:06:08,955
Yeah, maybe we're having
a delayed reaction
to the trauma of being shot at...
816
01:06:09,031 --> 01:06:11,522
like those guys in Nam.
You can't say "Nam," Carla.
817
01:06:11,600 --> 01:06:14,728
You weren't in Nam.
You have to call it Vietnam!
818
01:06:14,804 --> 01:06:18,069
- Shut up, Connie!
I can call it what I want!
- Oh, God! I kissed Jeff!
819
01:06:18,140 --> 01:06:21,405
I kissed Jeff, and I wanna
kiss him again without my wig!
820
01:06:21,477 --> 01:06:23,968
You can't, Connie!
You can't! You did?
821
01:06:24,046 --> 01:06:28,346
Just my luck. I meet the guy
of my dreams and he's straight!
822
01:06:28,417 --> 01:06:31,682
Look at us! We're ridiculous, Carla.
I can't do this anymore.
823
01:06:31,754 --> 01:06:35,053
Shut up, Connie.
We're in this because of you!
824
01:06:35,124 --> 01:06:38,116
It was your idea to borrow money
for new costumes, even though
you knew Frank was a gangster.
825
01:06:38,194 --> 01:06:40,856
So because of you,
we saw him get killed.
826
01:06:40,930 --> 01:06:43,592
And then we... yes, we...
got shot at.
827
01:06:43,666 --> 01:06:47,500
Shot at with real guns.
And that white powder?
That was cocaine.
828
01:06:47,570 --> 01:06:51,062
You got us mixed up with
some real criminals. Murderers.
829
01:06:51,140 --> 01:06:52,937
And it was your stupid idea
to be drag queens.
830
01:06:53,009 --> 01:06:55,944
Now we're in hiding for life
as women dressed as men
dressed as women.
831
01:06:56,012 --> 01:06:58,537
So shut up,
shut up, shut up!
832
01:07:02,585 --> 01:07:07,022
I...
You've been weird.
833
01:07:08,424 --> 01:07:10,722
Cut it out.
834
01:07:10,793 --> 01:07:13,091
Okay.
835
01:07:17,867 --> 01:07:20,062
I'm sorry.
836
01:07:29,145 --> 01:07:31,807
Girls, we need help!Open the door!
837
01:07:31,881 --> 01:07:34,315
Peaches and Jeff are fighting.
Let's go! Quick!
838
01:07:34,383 --> 01:07:37,375
You won't even go inside.
839
01:07:37,453 --> 01:07:39,921
You won't dare to look at the show.
840
01:07:39,989 --> 01:07:42,321
I've asked you and I've asked you.You won't do it.
841
01:07:42,391 --> 01:07:46,088
Robert, I've invested days
and energy in this relationship. I'm trying.
842
01:07:46,162 --> 01:07:51,429
But, you gotta give me a break
It's hard for me to see you like this.
843
01:07:51,500 --> 01:07:54,333
You can't pick and choose
the parts of me...
844
01:07:54,403 --> 01:07:56,894
that don't make you sick
to your stomach.
845
01:07:58,007 --> 01:08:01,135
You can't have half a relationshipwith me, Jeff.
846
01:08:05,915 --> 01:08:07,815
Jeff.
847
01:08:07,883 --> 01:08:11,478
Oh, my God.What are you...What are you doing here?
848
01:08:11,554 --> 01:08:15,718
- It's not what you think.
- Jeff, I can see that.
849
01:08:15,791 --> 01:08:18,282
So this is what you've been up to?
No.
850
01:08:18,360 --> 01:08:20,123
Sneaking around
when you said you were working?
851
01:08:20,196 --> 01:08:23,654
That's his girlfriend.
- I thought you were seeing other women.
852
01:08:23,732 --> 01:08:26,200
- No, Mary.
- Her name is Mary?
853
01:08:26,268 --> 01:08:28,202
Jeff.
854
01:08:30,005 --> 01:08:32,200
Introduce me to your girlfriend.
855
01:08:38,214 --> 01:08:42,548
Mary, this is Robert.
856
01:08:44,553 --> 01:08:46,384
My brother.
857
01:08:51,794 --> 01:08:54,126
Oh.
858
01:08:54,196 --> 01:08:56,824
Okay. Um, we're gonna
give you guys some privacy.
859
01:09:00,202 --> 01:09:02,397
Jeff, they're freaks.
860
01:09:15,818 --> 01:09:17,752
God.
861
01:09:51,253 --> 01:09:54,484
She's fine. He's fine.Everything's all right.Let's just leave her alone.
862
01:09:54,557 --> 01:09:58,391
Maybe just a glass of water?
My heart's pounding. I thought
she was going to kill that girl.
863
01:09:58,460 --> 01:10:03,796
One who should watch out
is that Jeff. I'm going to knock him
into next week. I swear to God.
864
01:10:18,714 --> 01:10:21,376
Ouch. You know?
865
01:10:24,220 --> 01:10:26,211
Yeah.
866
01:10:28,357 --> 01:10:30,689
Christ.
867
01:10:34,230 --> 01:10:37,063
Let's eat.
868
01:10:39,201 --> 01:10:41,362
And he wouldn't stop
asking me questions.
869
01:10:41,437 --> 01:10:43,928
It was like I was
Professor Cross-dresser or something.
870
01:10:44,006 --> 01:10:49,501
Like he says, "Why are you called
drag queens? Nobody's being dragged.
You're not dragging anything."
871
01:10:49,578 --> 01:10:51,842
Well, that comes from Shakespeare.
Really?
872
01:10:51,914 --> 01:10:56,578
Yeah. He'd write, "So-and-so enters,"
and in the margin, he'd put the initials
D.R.A.G.
873
01:10:56,652 --> 01:10:58,643
"So-and-so enters dressed as girl."
874
01:10:58,721 --> 01:11:03,556
Drag. Okay, Shakespeare.
How about Ophelia Up?
No.
875
01:11:03,626 --> 01:11:06,390
Wanda De Countryside?
It's not me.
876
01:11:06,462 --> 01:11:09,192
Devoida Talent?
Stop it.
877
01:11:09,265 --> 01:11:11,859
Personally, I like Wanda De Countryside.
878
01:11:11,934 --> 01:11:15,426
What are you looking over here for?
That's your side.
Turn around, look over there.
879
01:11:24,513 --> 01:11:30,349
Come by later
if you wanna talk.
Oh, sweetie. I am all talked out.
880
01:11:35,357 --> 01:11:38,190
Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
881
01:11:41,196 --> 01:11:45,326
- You okay?
- Yeah. I've got guy problems.
882
01:11:45,401 --> 01:11:47,232
Oh, sweetie.
883
01:11:50,306 --> 01:11:52,638
Come on.
884
01:11:54,643 --> 01:11:56,873
Welcome to What's Up L. A?
885
01:11:56,945 --> 01:12:01,780
A dinner theater that's
full of drag queens? Holy stockings.
886
01:12:01,850 --> 01:12:05,308
Gorgeous...
Connie and Carla, there you are.
887
01:12:05,387 --> 01:12:08,356
If you could just
spare us five minutes.
888
01:12:08,424 --> 01:12:12,087
A big hit here in West Hollywood.
Just tell us a little something.
889
01:12:12,161 --> 01:12:14,823
Don't be so shy.You've made a big splash.
890
01:12:14,897 --> 01:12:16,831
It's just a local station.
891
01:12:16,899 --> 01:12:20,027
Our viewers are dying to know you.
Okay.
892
01:12:20,102 --> 01:12:24,368
- What makes youthe best drag queens ever?
- Honey, we do our own singing.
893
01:12:24,440 --> 01:12:26,931
No lip-synching for us, toots.
894
01:12:27,009 --> 01:12:30,342
We do all your favorite show tuneswrapped in a delicious dinner.
895
01:12:31,947 --> 01:12:35,940
That was a big mistake.
We have been flirting with disaster
ever since we went on that stage.
896
01:12:36,018 --> 01:12:37,417
Carla. Connie.
897
01:12:37,486 --> 01:12:39,681
What are you doing here?
What the hell is going on?
898
01:12:39,755 --> 01:12:42,053
How did you find us?
Carla, how come
you're a guy now?
899
01:12:42,124 --> 01:12:44,957
Uh, Connie. I think
a lot of people just saw that.
Yeah, but it's local news.
900
01:12:45,027 --> 01:12:47,461
There's no way that that Russian
or Rudy guy saw it.
Mr. Rudy.
901
01:12:47,529 --> 01:12:49,087
Our boss.
902
01:12:49,164 --> 01:12:50,722
You work for Rudy?
He sent us to find you.
903
01:12:50,799 --> 01:12:52,699
What? What the hell?
904
01:12:52,768 --> 01:12:56,465
You just tell Rudy that we wanna live.
We're not gonna tell anybody
that he killed poor Frank.
905
01:12:56,538 --> 01:12:59,769
- Wait. He killed Frank?
- You should listen to
some of the guys once in a while.
906
01:12:59,842 --> 01:13:01,935
- Al, we saw him kill poor Frank.
- To death.
907
01:13:02,010 --> 01:13:03,739
- What happened?
- Rudy knows you're in L.A.
908
01:13:03,812 --> 01:13:07,373
- We gotta get out of town.
- We can't. The official dinner theater
opening is tomorrow night.
909
01:13:07,449 --> 01:13:10,441
We can't let everybody down.They're depending on us.We can't do that to Stanley.
910
01:13:10,519 --> 01:13:15,855
Why'd you cheat on me, Mikey?
I didn't, Carla. Ever.
911
01:13:15,924 --> 01:13:18,290
Al just made that up
because he was mad at Connie.
912
01:13:19,495 --> 01:13:23,056
Come on, Carla.Don't go be a guy.
913
01:13:23,132 --> 01:13:26,659
You don't understand, Mikey.
I like doing the show. I'm good at it.
I like being Carla and Connie.
914
01:13:26,735 --> 01:13:29,602
- Connie and Carla.
- Yeah. How come your name's
always first?
915
01:13:29,671 --> 01:13:31,400
- It sounds better. We talked about it.
- This is serious!
916
01:13:31,473 --> 01:13:33,168
- We know.
- So let's go already.
917
01:13:33,242 --> 01:13:36,075
Hold on. I need time to think.
Your voice is giving me shingles.
918
01:13:36,145 --> 01:13:38,477
We need time.
Connie's gonna make a plan.
I'm gonna make a plan.
919
01:13:38,547 --> 01:13:42,677
She's gonna make a plan.
Fine. Call us at this motel. Room 209.
First thing in the morning.
920
01:13:42,751 --> 01:13:44,275
You wanna stay over?
Yeah.
Mikey!
921
01:13:44,353 --> 01:13:46,844
- Carla, let's go.
- Connie, did you miss me?
922
01:13:46,922 --> 01:13:48,014
No.
Yeah, you did.
923
01:13:48,090 --> 01:13:51,491
Rudy. I find them.
924
01:13:54,062 --> 01:13:57,395
I'm an ass.
I should've seen your show.
925
01:13:57,466 --> 01:14:01,061
I should've told my girlfriend
about you. I should've loved you
and accepted you...
926
01:14:01,136 --> 01:14:03,832
and been okay with the fact
that you wear dresses.
927
01:14:06,508 --> 01:14:09,671
I'm sorry, Robert.
928
01:14:18,420 --> 01:14:21,753
It's just that when you left home,
it was hard on me. I was 12 years old.
929
01:14:21,824 --> 01:14:23,758
I wake up one morning
and you were just gone.
930
01:14:23,826 --> 01:14:26,818
You didn't call me.
You never even wrote to me.
I got kicked out.
931
01:14:30,666 --> 01:14:34,295
What? No.
Mom and Dad kicked me out.
932
01:14:34,369 --> 01:14:37,668
They found my bra.
933
01:14:37,739 --> 01:14:41,835
You thought I left?
Yeah.
934
01:14:50,486 --> 01:14:52,681
Well, whatever happened,
935
01:14:52,754 --> 01:14:56,315
Mom regrets it.
936
01:14:56,391 --> 01:15:00,088
- She does?
- Oh, yeah. Dad too.
937
01:15:00,162 --> 01:15:02,653
Ha.
938
01:15:03,732 --> 01:15:06,565
No. They wanna see you.
939
01:15:07,569 --> 01:15:10,766
Jeff, for the first time
in my life, I like who I am.
940
01:15:10,839 --> 01:15:13,831
Forget it.
941
01:15:17,479 --> 01:15:20,448
I wanna be part of your life.
942
01:15:27,222 --> 01:15:29,213
I'll say hi to Mom and Dad for you.
943
01:15:32,427 --> 01:15:34,918
And Grandma too.
Okay.
944
01:15:53,615 --> 01:15:56,448
Oh, uh, and Jeff,
uh, just a heads up.
945
01:15:56,518 --> 01:16:01,148
My roommate, 'N' Cream,
is on a tear to kick your ass.
946
01:16:01,223 --> 01:16:05,990
- 'N' Cream that...
Oh, the little... the little...
- Yeah. The...
947
01:16:08,564 --> 01:16:11,465
- Tell him... Tell him to bring it.
- Make a joke. I warned you.
948
01:16:11,533 --> 01:16:14,502
- Thanks for the warning.
- Go, go, go. Go.
949
01:16:21,143 --> 01:16:24,476
Hi.
Hi.
950
01:16:25,948 --> 01:16:29,440
Robert's not here.
Yeah, I know.
I just came from up there.
951
01:16:29,518 --> 01:16:31,918
Uh-huh.
About the other night,
I wanted to...
952
01:16:31,987 --> 01:16:34,785
Yeah. Um, how's Mary?
953
01:16:34,856 --> 01:16:39,350
Well, we talked about things
for hours. It's not good.
954
01:16:39,428 --> 01:16:43,091
I mean, the relationship,
it's just... We broke up.
955
01:16:45,667 --> 01:16:47,999
Oh.
956
01:16:48,070 --> 01:16:50,129
I wanted to apologize to you.
957
01:16:51,807 --> 01:16:55,800
Um, you're not freaks.
You're not a freak.
958
01:16:55,877 --> 01:16:58,141
I hated seeing you hurt.
959
01:17:00,248 --> 01:17:03,911
Thanks, Jeff.
I have fun when I'm with you.
960
01:17:03,986 --> 01:17:06,147
Well, all of you, you know?
961
01:17:07,756 --> 01:17:10,190
It's just, I'm not...
I know.
You told me.
962
01:17:10,258 --> 01:17:12,920
Yeah.
Yeah.
963
01:17:21,436 --> 01:17:23,768
Bye.
Bye.
964
01:17:34,249 --> 01:17:37,412
Good morning, L.A.Looking at the freeways,
965
01:17:37,486 --> 01:17:40,751
three cars got togetheron the 101 at Winnetka.
Mikey.
966
01:17:40,822 --> 01:17:45,316
Connie and Carla will call.
I know.
967
01:17:48,497 --> 01:17:51,591
Sahara Motel.
Hi, Room 209.
968
01:17:51,667 --> 01:17:54,431
I'll connect you.
969
01:17:54,503 --> 01:17:55,527
Hello.
Hi, Al.
970
01:17:55,604 --> 01:17:57,128
Connie.
Listen, we're coming...
971
01:17:57,205 --> 01:17:58,866
Mikey, talked to this guy.
Rudy's on his way.
What?
972
01:17:58,940 --> 01:18:00,908
He's gonna kill us all.
We gotta get out of here.
Okay, bye.
973
01:18:00,976 --> 01:18:05,174
Mikey just talked to a guy from work.
Rudy's on his way to L.A. We gotta go!
974
01:18:05,247 --> 01:18:09,741
No.
Carla. We're gonna die.
975
01:18:09,818 --> 01:18:14,312
I am so sorry for
dragging you into this mess.
I love this mess.
976
01:18:14,389 --> 01:18:18,553
Thank you for dragging me.
Pun intended.
977
01:18:18,627 --> 01:18:21,095
Listen, who says they're gonna
find us in this big city anyway?
978
01:18:21,163 --> 01:18:24,530
Would they be looking for
a couple of queens?
979
01:18:24,599 --> 01:18:29,093
Here's my plan.
We launch the show.
We stay for one night.
980
01:18:29,171 --> 01:18:32,607
The audience sees how great
the guys are and they come back,
and Stanley doesn't lose any money.
981
01:18:32,674 --> 01:18:35,575
That's a good plan.
I know.
982
01:18:40,749 --> 01:18:42,910
One night.
983
01:18:46,988 --> 01:18:51,584
One last show. Okay?
984
01:18:51,660 --> 01:18:53,821
Okay.
985
01:19:04,206 --> 01:19:07,039
So, I've been thinking.
986
01:19:07,109 --> 01:19:10,636
We should have the guys enter
from the back of the house
on "Good Morning Starshine."
987
01:19:10,712 --> 01:19:13,647
Oh, honey. If you're gonna enterfrom the house,
988
01:19:13,715 --> 01:19:16,650
you've gotta do it on "76 Trombones."
989
01:19:16,718 --> 01:19:20,814
Debbie Reynolds!
Debbie Reynolds! Hi, hi, hi!
990
01:19:20,889 --> 01:19:23,380
Hello there. Hello there.
991
01:19:23,458 --> 01:19:25,323
Somebody put a letter in my mailbox.
992
01:19:25,393 --> 01:19:27,861
I saw your house on the Star Map.
993
01:19:27,929 --> 01:19:31,092
You know, you've got
a pretty hot idea here.
A dinner theater.
994
01:19:31,166 --> 01:19:34,727
Will you please be in our show?
Yeah, will you please
be in our show?
995
01:19:34,803 --> 01:19:36,771
We open tonight, so there's not
a lot of time to rehearse.
996
01:19:36,838 --> 01:19:42,174
Oh, honey, I've got sheet music
and gorgeous gowns
and a good underwire bra.
997
01:19:42,244 --> 01:19:45,179
I could go on now.
998
01:19:45,247 --> 01:19:48,444
- So chins out, boobs up,
it's showtime.
999
01:20:07,569 --> 01:20:11,232
Thank you.
Uh, ladies and gentlemen,
1000
01:20:11,306 --> 01:20:16,573
I'd like to welcome you to
the official opening
of Stanley's Dinner Theater...
1001
01:20:20,315 --> 01:20:22,476
We love you, Stanley!
1002
01:20:28,757 --> 01:20:30,349
Thank you.
1003
01:20:31,860 --> 01:20:35,694
And now, please say hello
to the Belles of the Balls...
1004
01:20:35,764 --> 01:20:38,927
and the one, the only,
Connie and Carla.
1005
01:20:44,406 --> 01:20:47,034
- Oh, sit back, sweets.
- It's just us.
1006
01:20:47,108 --> 01:20:51,442
- Have we got a show for you.
- I hope you brought a change of panties,
'cause...
1007
01:21:08,663 --> 01:21:11,291
Smack.
1008
01:21:11,366 --> 01:21:15,860
Smack!
1009
01:21:24,112 --> 01:21:28,242
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome
our very special guest,
1010
01:21:28,316 --> 01:21:32,218
Ms. Debbie Reynolds.
1011
01:22:12,594 --> 01:22:15,620
Police! Drop the cat.
1012
01:22:15,697 --> 01:22:17,995
On your knees.
Hands in the air.
1013
01:23:55,997 --> 01:24:00,229
Oh, my God! I can't believe it!
What are we gonna do?
1014
01:24:42,777 --> 01:24:45,769
You've got something that's mine.
You killed poor Frank.
1015
01:24:45,847 --> 01:24:48,680
- Let 'em go, Mr. Rudy.
- Get lost.
1016
01:24:51,486 --> 01:24:54,614
Kick it, girls!
1017
01:24:54,689 --> 01:24:57,681
Let's go, ladies.
No!
1018
01:25:01,329 --> 01:25:04,162
Take care of the Debbie.
1019
01:25:04,232 --> 01:25:06,029
I loved you in
What's the Matter with Helen.
1020
01:25:24,452 --> 01:25:26,852
You screwed up the number,
you bastard!
1021
01:25:41,302 --> 01:25:43,793
Get up!
1022
01:26:00,421 --> 01:26:02,548
Beads!
1023
01:26:02,624 --> 01:26:04,251
Hey!
1024
01:26:07,428 --> 01:26:09,328
Get 'em!
1025
01:26:14,802 --> 01:26:19,034
You guys are bad!
- Police! Everybody freeze!
1026
01:26:23,578 --> 01:26:25,876
- These are the bad guys!
These are the bad guys!
1027
01:26:25,947 --> 01:26:29,747
- You gotta take 'em away!
- All right, ladies.
We'll take it from here.
1028
01:26:29,817 --> 01:26:32,342
- He killed fat man!
- He had a gland problem!
1029
01:26:32,420 --> 01:26:34,615
Cuff 'em!
- You're horrible!
1030
01:26:34,689 --> 01:26:36,850
How do you like it?
How do you like it?
What are you doing?
1031
01:26:36,925 --> 01:26:39,018
Hey.
Oh, Mikey, I love you!
1032
01:26:39,093 --> 01:26:41,789
- I love you.
- Thanks, Al. You did good.
1033
01:26:41,863 --> 01:26:44,696
- Hey! Good show.
- Thanks.
1034
01:26:44,766 --> 01:26:47,860
- You need a baritone?
- Yeah, call us when you get out.
1035
01:27:00,315 --> 01:27:03,614
Okay. On with the show. "Mame."
1036
01:27:03,685 --> 01:27:05,846
Top of "corn."
1037
01:27:08,623 --> 01:27:14,289
- What the hell was that all about?
- Um, the Guys and Dolls tribute?
1038
01:27:14,362 --> 01:27:16,762
Oh, save it, Mary.
What just happened?
1039
01:27:16,831 --> 01:27:18,992
Come on, Connie.
1040
01:27:22,003 --> 01:27:25,837
Let's tell 'em the truth.
No more lies.
1041
01:27:37,018 --> 01:27:40,010
I'm sure you're all wondering...
1042
01:27:40,088 --> 01:27:42,750
what the cops and...
1043
01:27:44,826 --> 01:27:48,318
First, we owed some money,
and then we saw something...
1044
01:27:48,396 --> 01:27:51,729
and we've been
hiding for a while,
1045
01:27:51,799 --> 01:27:53,926
pretending to be something
that we're not.
1046
01:28:00,141 --> 01:28:02,575
Hey, who saw Yentl?
1047
01:28:05,380 --> 01:28:08,645
So Barbra Streisand wants to study
the Talmud, right?
1048
01:28:08,716 --> 01:28:12,379
But, she can't because she's a woman,
so she pretends to be a man,
1049
01:28:12,453 --> 01:28:15,786
and, uh, one thing
leads to the next,
1050
01:28:15,857 --> 01:28:18,451
and before you know it...
1051
01:28:18,526 --> 01:28:23,691
Uh...
Everybody... Everybody
believes that she's a man.
1052
01:28:23,765 --> 01:28:27,929
So she has to keep lying...
even though she wants to
stop, she can't,
1053
01:28:28,002 --> 01:28:31,028
'cause she has to
keep lying to people
that she cares about.
1054
01:28:32,573 --> 01:28:35,906
You know, that have
been really kind.
1055
01:28:36,911 --> 01:28:41,075
Look, uh,
1056
01:28:43,651 --> 01:28:47,712
we're women.
1057
01:28:50,158 --> 01:28:52,592
No, you don't get it.
We're women.
1058
01:29:03,604 --> 01:29:07,199
Oh-ho-ho. Oh-ho-ho.
1059
01:29:10,812 --> 01:29:13,975
We're sorry we lied.
So sorry.
1060
01:29:14,048 --> 01:29:17,916
Boo!
1061
01:29:17,985 --> 01:29:20,385
Get off the stage!
1062
01:29:20,455 --> 01:29:23,822
Let's go back to Chicago.
1063
01:29:23,891 --> 01:29:27,054
The patio door is shut
and our hair is caught in it.
I know.
1064
01:29:27,128 --> 01:29:30,620
Excuse me!Excuse me! Hello!
1065
01:29:33,534 --> 01:29:36,230
Didn't you used to work
at the Slimming Salon?
1066
01:29:36,304 --> 01:29:40,240
Yes.
Mrs. Morse?
1067
01:29:42,243 --> 01:29:46,407
Well, I don't care what you are.
You always made me feel beautiful.
1068
01:29:46,481 --> 01:29:50,713
But we thought you were men,
and you're not really men.
1069
01:29:52,053 --> 01:29:55,819
Oh, honey, who is anymore?
1070
01:30:01,295 --> 01:30:04,093
- I thought something was up.
- Me too.
1071
01:30:04,165 --> 01:30:07,896
- No, you didn't.
- Girls, in an art form based on...
1072
01:30:07,969 --> 01:30:10,995
being true to one's real self,
welcome to your outing.
1073
01:30:17,745 --> 01:30:20,680
- Jeff?
- Connie.
1074
01:30:20,748 --> 01:30:23,740
- Oh, great. More drama.
- You came to my show.
1075
01:30:23,818 --> 01:30:26,946
- I love show tunes.
- Hey, everybody,
this is my brother Jeff.
1076
01:30:27,021 --> 01:30:31,515
Hi, Jeff!
Hi.
1077
01:30:31,592 --> 01:30:34,686
You look, uh...
You look different.
1078
01:30:34,762 --> 01:30:38,163
Jeff, I'm a woman.
1079
01:30:38,232 --> 01:30:41,201
It's an authentic look. Yeah, but...
1080
01:30:41,269 --> 01:30:43,931
No. I mean I'm female.
We're girls.
1081
01:30:44,005 --> 01:30:45,939
We were faking it.
It's this long story...
1082
01:30:46,007 --> 01:30:48,532
Connie, please,
we've been over that.
1083
01:30:50,378 --> 01:30:52,471
Really.
1084
01:30:58,686 --> 01:31:01,519
Really?
1085
01:31:03,257 --> 01:31:06,749
Really?
Yes!
1086
01:31:12,934 --> 01:31:15,027
Well, I could get used to that.
1087
01:31:16,604 --> 01:31:20,768
Jeff is the guy?
Yeah.
1088
01:31:20,842 --> 01:31:23,868
You're the guy.
1089
01:31:23,945 --> 01:31:26,573
Get up here and kiss her, you fool.
1090
01:32:03,618 --> 01:32:05,916
- Ooh. The finale.
What?
1091
01:32:05,987 --> 01:32:08,820
- The finale.
- Oh!
1092
01:32:29,544 --> 01:32:33,310
Carla's a big star now.
1093
01:32:33,381 --> 01:32:35,542
And I'm her boyfriend.
88597
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.