Original subtitles

Everybody knows that magicians have beautiful assistants.

I'm no different. In fact, today, I've invited four friends to be my beautiful

magic assistants.

That's right, guys!

Yes!

Yes! They're here!

Should I have worn black? Oh, boy. What?

I can connect all of the parts that are here in the science surplus ball

together. I will be able to create a machine that will control the world.

A photo photo?

Yeah, I have like a picture picture.

Wouldn't they want to be with you, though? Yeah, sure. But I can sign one.

that would be awesome.

Yeah? Great.

Okay.

What's your name?

Madeline. Madeline.

M -A -D -E -L -I -N -E. L -I -N -E. Is

that right?

Here, I'll put this one to both of you.

Marlena. Marlena. M -A -R -L -E -N -A.

And A. Great.

So you watch true TV?

A lot. Yeah?

Do you watch any other shows?

Tracto Joker. Oh, really?

Oh, that's great. Do you have their autograph?

No way. Oh, someday, right?

Someday. All right, well, you guys enjoy that.

Oh.

Oh.

That's great.

Wait, wait, what's in the head? How do you do that?

Oh, to Madeline and Marlene.

Oh, right.

Oh.

Sorry, yeah.

Because I think we're on the same network, so they make us share the same

pics. Wasn't it your picture?

Yeah, but because they're on the same network, we don't always know what we're

signing.

They have all kinds of contracts and stuff.

And they're accepting the fact that it wasn't a trick. It was just a mistake.

Now, if you guys had really been there, I would have blown her face. Well, we

are here today, Michael. Good.

What do you got?

Monsters. Little monsters. Little rubber monsters.

Finger puppet monsters.

Finger puppet monsters. The band bots.

Do they work on that?

What is that?

All these are the rubber band bots.

I have no idea what that is. Oh, you just take loose bands.

You know, you bunch up a bunch of them in your hand.

where the band bot goes inside.

Push it into the bands and it just makes a little... Yeah, they're self

-wrapping.

So that's really wild.

It's crazy. It's tight, too. It makes it real.

Oh, my dog would have fun.

That's solid, right?

It is.

That's really wild.

I don't know how they do that.

How much are they?

Oh!

Yeah, see, it only lasted like 20 seconds, though, and then it's good.

they were trying to get them for office supply stores.

How much were they?

They were selling for 25 cents.

So you just wrap it up in there and then throw it down?

Yeah. I might have instructions on how to use them. I'll be right back. This

you could kind of work it.

Okay, that's great.

I've got to leave here.

And was this your return here, the safe book? Oh, okay. Oh, this one's ours.

You've seen these things before, right?

It's a book, but then you can hide stuff in it because they burrow it out.

It's kind of cool, right? I didn't know it was ours.

I would have sold it to somebody.

This is our extra register.

That is awesome.

Yeah, it's well done.

How much are they?

Well, that's the old version.

That's not a very good one.

This one's laser -cut pages.

Oh, that's amazing. Yeah, and apparently it has a... I think it's going for five

bucks. You're kidding me. Yeah, and it has a lock on it.

It does?

Yeah, and then close it. You can lock by pressing that, and then someone will be

able to open it or find your... And then how do you open it?

Like that.

Whoops.

Wait. And so then... Wait. What did I just do?

That is creepy.

They said it was double security.

A double security safe.

Wait a minute. Let me grab the combination.

Hold on a second.

Yes!

Oh my goodness.

Admin?

There's no way that that is in there.

How are you? Fine.

I have a telescope back here.

Okay.

She's going to get that for you.

What do you think about this?

I'm going to get it for my mom.

Oh, I'm going to pick for me.

My mom collects math.

Is there hand woven? Yeah. There's a woman who, she ties knots to be able to

it that intricate.

Mm -hmm. You like it? Okay, good.

I don't know what else to get her.

We get a lot of stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is what I'm getting my grown son.

What's that?

My grown son.

Oh, yeah. He loves science. Oh, yeah. He's based in that.

Does he like masks?

No. Okay, good. Oh, you're a good mom.

You're going to get to go home with one of these, too, every purchase.

This is a detangler, you know, for lights.

You know, because I just took these out, I was going to decorate them.

But, you know, when I pulled them out, it was like a nightmare here.

So what?

I'm never going to get that undone. I used to just throw those away.

But if you can just find the end, then you're in. You've got to plug it into

that end.

Go ahead. You want to plug that in?

That side, exactly.

Uh -huh.

Plugs right in. There we go.

Yeah. And then this goes in here.

I drop it in there. Oh, that way you are always able to find it. Yeah.

So then you plug it in.

And there you go.

Well, you'll hear it.

You hear it in there? Yeah, yeah.

That's it.

And once it stops, it'll untick. Isn't that great?

Isn't it something?

Yep. Wow.

It does such a good job. It sure is. Holy cow.

Yep.

Definitely. I don't have my tree up yet. Oh, yeah? Well, you know, when the time

is right.

But that's great. Yeah, but isn't that cool the way it just comes out like

All tangled? I don't know how it gets that much. I don't know.

Undone. But. It's really great. That's pretty cool.

Yeah. And it's pretty fast, too.

Yeah, I could do this. I'm going to put it in the. Oop.

I probably shouldn't put it while it's still there. That's what I was going to

say because you might bend her.

Yeah.

Yeah, not plugged in. But I could probably put both gifts in there for my

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, shoot.

Oh, my gosh.

Okay. You know what?

Oh, my goodness.

All right.

Oh. How long did it take her to make that, I wonder? Did each one take three

months? Oh.

Okay.

It certainly is that.

Oh, my God.

Oh, I feel so bad for you. Well, don't don't let me call and see if I can order

one more mask before my mom.

Sorry. All right. Be careful with that thing. I'm not touching it.

How did you do that? No secrets revealed.

More with the Jokers when we come back.

Ready? Yeah, here we go. Here we go.

We're going on a nature trail, and I need three rats.

Darren, get over here.

Here's my buddy Darren.

You see in the water, there's all of these...

bits of algae and natural plant life in there. You'll notice we don't have as

many water bugs over on this side as you'll have over here, and that's just

because of how much. You can see their little legs coming.

What is that?

Look at that. Oh, perfect, perfect. What is that?

Look at this.

You guys were here on a good day.

What is it?

This is a baby porcupine. Oh, that's what I thought.

Yeah, well, you should have said it. There was a prize.

Ooh, they are a little bit prickly. That you have to be careful of.

Here, I'll step through here for you.

Let me come on over here to the other side. Turn around so you can all see

Cute, right? Do they bite?

No, they don't bite.

Okay,

he's molting a little bit here.

Okay, there we go. Yeah, you can see one of his little quills came off.

You see that? You see the way he's kind of flinching like that?

Yeah, his little quill will pop off. You feel it?

That's why they have him, for predators?

Yes, to prevent predators. See how much?

Yeah, he's got a lot coming. Okay, yeah, he's going full molt now.

Okay, that's good.

And this will get him ready.

What? Oh, come on. Oh, what?

Yeah. Okay.

That's very good.

Very good.

Okay. He's just got a few left.

Okay, good.

Without the quills, he's going to be a lot more susceptible to predators.

You can feel his... Wow, so soft.

Yeah, very, very soft.

He'll have new quills probably by 6 p .m. tonight. They'll start to sprout out

just as the sun comes down.

You can see these little dots on his back here?

That's where they're going to emerge from.

We don't want them to get eaten alive by any of those fox or coyote. So the best

thing to do, if you find one, you scare it and it loses its quills, and just get

him on over here. There you go, buddy.

There he goes.

You see him like that?

You see him swimming?

A little bit by the...

I saw it. Kind of darting in and out of there?

Well, they are attracted to water.

When they lose their quills, they are. They switch over.

That's why it was here to begin with. Otherwise, Nat, it would be somewhere

else. Probably when it was on its way over. Yeah.

You'd never find a porcupine with quills swimming in the lake.

There we go. I got one.

Cool. Here.

Hey, I'll bring him on over here.

Look at this little guy. Here, let me step up here for you.

See that?

Isn't he something?

It's a red ring neck.

This little guy, he can be our, he's our little park friend.

What do you got there?

What is that?

Oh! Did you pull a baby turtle out of there? At that?

No way. Yes!

Where did it come from? Look at you, tucked up inside of his shoulder.

That's crazy.

Isn't that great?

Oh, my God.

Yeah. That is so cool.

Do you see that?

They really are very nurturing creatures.

She's like, put my child down. Right? She's probably like, why are you doing

this? Cool.

Aren't they so sweet? Yeah.

What? Do you want to hold him? I definitely want to hold him. You want to

the baby?

Yeah. Okay, you hold on to the baby. My little kitty.

Okay. Oh, my God. Good.

I think it might be.

I'm going to just get him a little of the natural pond water. Will you hold on

to him for a second?

Okay. Are you sure you don't want to hold him? All right, great.

He's so fast.

There we go. Yeah, he doesn't want to open his eyes.

All right, we're going to just rub him here.

There we go.

What the?

You see that?

You see this? Look.

You see the way it swims?

Sorry.

Little baby's right there.

So that's probably one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Let's open up a

turtle. Hmm?

Wait.

You just opened up this turtle and pulled its babies out?

Well, when they're pregnant, you know, when they're ready to give birth like

that.

That's crazy.

Yeah. It's just a drop birth.

You know, and they'll do that between two rocks.

They'll stand up and they'll wedge themselves.

She just had a bunch of babies in her.

Yeah, that's why I was showing you the bottom. Oh, my God. You could feel that.

Did you see him?

Oh, okay.

Yeah, you get it, right? Yeah.

See, that's about how many we have there.

There's a bunch of them there. You want to put him in with the brothers there?

There you go.

There he goes.

Take a little swim.

That's crazy. So adorable, isn't it? Yeah. Here, let me have a... Do you want

hold it?

Well, you want to hold this? Sure. You would hold him? Okay.

His little nails can get scratchy there. Okay, I'm going to get something to put

him in. Can you hang up for one second? Okay. Why can't you go back in the

water? Hang on one sec.

Would you mind taking a picture of me? No.

Taking some pictures?

I'm good. Just put her in here? Yeah, drop her in the bucket.

Gently. Yep, she's a mom.

Okay.

Great.

These little guys.

Yeah. The ones that have a little bit darker on there.

Let's get one of these guys out.

Maybe we can get him.

Just open that up. See those little babies inside there?

No. What are those?

Those are little tiny babies.

Turtle? Yeah, those are turtle babies. No way.

Those babies had babies?

Well, the babies are holding babies, yeah. There's always two generations

with turtles.

That's why the mother has, she lays now eggs.

And later eggs. That's the technical term. It's so weird that those are

Yeah, these guys here. I'm going to pick one up here.

See it?

Right, and they'll lose their little legs. That's the first thing, like the

humans would lose baby teeth.

That's so crazy. Yeah.

It's a survival technique that they use called the Carbonaro Effect.

Have you heard of that before, the Carbonaro?

Oh, the Carbonaro Effect. It's also the name of a hidden camera magic TV show.

Okay. Yeah.

Where, like, a magician performs things, acting as an ordinary person to see if

people would believe in, you know, crazy things like turtles giving birth by

cracking them open and little babies that live inside baby turtles, like me.

Like, I'm showing you magic right now, and you guys are on my TV show right

No way. Yes. Cool.

Seriously? My name is Michael Carbonaro. I'm a magician.

Yeah, so those are actually baby turtles on your hand right now? Yeah. That's a

baby turtle. That's a baby turtle.

Yeah, that's how nature finds a way to survive.

Yeah.

So that part was real.

Nope. Yeah.

Okay, okay, cool.

This is the double roasting process that we all know and love.

Oh, oh, here we go.

Oh!

Welcome to the coffee bar. May I introduce you to four tall, impractical

All right, guys, you ready for this? Yeah, I'm super excited. This is my

favorite part of your show. I know you didn't ask, but it's when you BS people.

Say no more.

Actually, I say a lot. You guys are going to be doing the B .S. thing today.

Great. I'll do the magic. You're responsible for explaining it away with

.S. Okay. All right? You guys to the room. All right. Let's go. Let's go.

I go here?

I go here. I'm the David Copperfield of B .S. Oh, my God.

All right.

This is the machine.

All right.

You're going to explain to everybody what's going on, and I'm going to work

Offer him a sip of coffee. We have double roasted beans.

Double roasted beans. Yep. And you could do this part if you want.

I lay a bag down on the bottom. You could put one scoop of beans on top of

bag. Okay.

And then we cover it up.

And when the light gets turned on, we just wait for the light to go off. Okay.

And when the light goes off, it may happen automatically.

We lift.

Come on.

Come on.

No. Wait a second. No, come on. Joe, I hope you know what's going on down

Did you see what just happened? I did, and you look like a chicken without a

head out there. Get your act together, please. You're representing us. Wait a

second. What just happened?

Okay, the Jokers have just seen how they think the trick is going to go.

What they aren't aware of is it will be a little bit different when they try.

I'm going to figure out how he does this.

I'm going to figure it out. The real reason we came on this? Yeah. We're

to expose this whole thing.

You like coffee, right?

Here we go.

There he goes.

Not single roast where you might be used to.

This here is a double roast process. We put it in this machine.

It gets imported in from Cuba, Eastern Cuba.

Yeah. And then it's well now with the embargo gone, it's a whole thing.

Don't ever go to Western Cuba. And you don't want your Western Cuban coffee.

Just only.

Okay. And then you go. Now it's roasted.

Wait, what?

As a bonus.

As a bonus, you get these panties here as well.

We just got carbonaro effected.

What happens is it's... Why do they happen? These can be... The beans soak

through the lace. It's a dripping process.

And the beans soak right through the lace. It's a dripping process, a double

-roast dripping process, straight out of eastern Cuba. So if you purchase it

today... So if you purchase it today, you get the beans... And the dripping

panties. And you get the dripping panties. I'm going to pass.

You're going to pass?

Okay, well...

Well, thank you. Thank you. Good presentation.

Doing well. Yeah, not bad. Thank you.

Good job. Thanks. Thank you. You got it.

And I'm keeping these.

Well done.

You know what's really weird, Joe? What's that? These are Mars?

It's a double roast. Have you ever heard of it before?

It's a good old -fashioned double roast.

This, my mother drinks this.

And you just wait for the light. All day and night, my mother just drinks it.

The light goes down, it's considered a double roast. Boom.

The light's off.

Yeah. It's ready. Oh, yeah. There we go.

There we go.

What is that?

It's a chinchilla. Oh, you got to be kidding me.

Just explain.

Explain what? I don't know what to do.

So what you're basically drinking is chinchilla pee.

Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, that's the secret ingredient.

Double, double, double roasted. It's to really separate the beans from the

chinchilla pellet. Yeah, he eats the beans and he poops them out. No!

That's the double roast broth then.

That's what gives it that affinity.

One shot is enough.

Yeah. Cute. You forgot the purpose. You were supposed to explain what was going

on, and you just fell in love with a chinchilla.

I couldn't possibly explain anything. You're throwing a cute little animal at

me. Oh, my God.

Go ahead and take a sip. See if you like it.

We're demoing the whole... Oh, it's cold.

I know, but don't worry about the temperature. It's usually served cold.

Coffee's not traditionally served hot. He's good. He's good.

This guy, this carbonaro's good. He's got a future.

So what happens is as you roast it, it actually goes into the bag. Just steam

it.

I swear to you, it washes.

Okay.

I'm about to blow your mind.

Okay. Wait for the light to go off. What it's doing is sending UV light through.

Now it's a double roasting process. This is the double roasting process that we

all know and love.

They sell this for, like, I can get one of these? No, no, no, this is in the

store only, but... Oh, oh, here we go.

Oh!

This is the double

roasting process that we all know and love.

They sell this for, like, I can get one of these? No, no, no, this is in the

store only, but... Oh, oh, here we go.

Yep.

It's in the panties.

Why is that there? It's adorable.

One in every 1 ,000 bags comes with a chinchilla inside.

Do I hate it?

No, no, no, no, no. Salty balls. This is the mascot. He doesn't know which way

Murray was going to go, so he shook his head diagonally, and he's losing it.

Which way Murray was going to go. Why are you scratching your head, Mike?

up there?

Did he wear a panty?

There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with it.

It's like a muzzle. You know how a muzzle will calm a dog down?

That's right. Panties will calm a chinchilla down. Exactly right.

Murray, step up your BS game here, buddy. I know. I'm struggling.

What can I tell you?

Okay. Yes. So that's exactly what it is. Chinchillas in nature are actually very

vicious wild animals. Put a pair of panties on them, they calm right down.

This is a chinchilla for you.

A pair of panties.

Thank you. There you go. You got it. Have a good one.

Have a good day. He eats vegetables. He's a vegetarian.

Yeah. Carrot, celery, rutabaga.

Coffee. Coffee.

Coffee. Yeah. I think my BS.

Yeah. Coffee too.

I'm sorry. How is nobody put off by a rodent?

No one's put off by a rodent. Yeah. My favorite part is how Michael left one

back here too.

Okay. Is there anything that he would be like afraid of?

Plenty.

Trust me. I know it doesn't sound like it, but trust me.

Trust me. Here we go.

He doesn't be afraid of success.

Happiness. Happiness.

Health. Fitness. Love.

Love. It's very quick, the UV process.

I mean, think about how long it would take you to brew a pot of coffee, right?

And so now... Now,

this is... No,

you don't drink this.

It's from Nicaragua.

Well, show them. Show them.

It's a hairless cat!

So how do you get the coffee out of there?

I mean, this is... It looks like a cat, but it's not.

You'll notice all the beans are gone. You'll notice all the beans are... Beans

are gone. Yeah. Beans are gone.

That's why I just got blown!

Yeah, this is a cute thing. You might have seen it in books and on the web.

You're going to turn that into coffee?

No, no. No, this doesn't. This just helps the roasting process.

It'll eat all of the runt.

beans and inside the it's a long process that we're just getting here in the

states now is the nicaraguan effect oh yeah no it's the it's the carbonaro

effect carbonaro okay yeah every day yeah have you heard of that process the

carbonaro effect no i have no tell me about the carbonaro effect is a is a

hidden camera magic show tv show that you happen to be on right now i know it

sounds impractical but you're on it

I mean, I'm not scared, but get off my... You couldn't give me the panties?