Original subtitles

We're in a grocery store.

Shh.

I've been working here for seven minutes, and I might get a manager card.

I think it's time we called Ma.

How you doing?

I'm okay.

How are you?

Doing great.

Good. Got your own bags here.

I do.

Oh, and you got a cabbage here?

Cabbage. All right, cool. I always get confused the difference between the

cabbage and the lettuce.

Seriously?

So this is cabbage. Cabbage is smoother.

Smoother? Yeah.

All right. Yeah, cabbage is smoother, and the leaves are thinner. See how thin

these are? Yeah. Lettuce, the leaves are sort of coming out, and they're not.

Oh, okay. And they're definitely not as heavy. Cabbage is always heavy. Yeah.

Oh, someone said something about the weight. It's always heavy. Yep. It's

heavier. Heavier. Much heavier than lettuce.

I knew it was about the weight. Yeah. But someone showed me the shake test,

right?

Is there a way to tell, like, a good healthy one?

You give it, like, a good clam like that.

Oh, yeah.

Wait, where's my cabbage?

I think this was Brussels sprouts.

No!

That's what I was asking you.

That's what I was trying to ask you. Wait, where's my cabbage?

I don't understand what you mean.

I had a cabbage. Yeah, but cabbages don't do that.

Brussels sprouts do this. These are Brussels sprouts.

I know.

I like Brussels sprouts, but I want my cabbage.

These are little baby cabbages.

Right, exactly.

So I can't ring it up as a cabbage because Brussels sprouts are baby

know. Baby cabbages.

I know.

Where's my cabbage?

Well, we could get you a cabbage if you want. No, I have it.

Oh, my God. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, that's what I was saying.

The weight test, if you shake it and they break apart, then that's Brussels

sprouts. That's the thing when we're stocking them.

Okay. And no, it's weird. They sell these for more money.

So you could buy, if you buy a Brussels sprout. A whole bunch of baby cabbages.

Then you'd have, yeah, Brussels sprouts.

So do you want, would you like a cabbage?

Okay, I'll get you a cabbage.

Okay.

Okay, darling.

Can I tell you a secret?

My name's Michael Carbonaro. I'm in disguise right now. I have a TV show.

have a hidden camera TV show.

Really? Yeah, I'm a magician.

Oh, my God.

What were you thinking?

I don't know. It can't be.

Where's the camera?

saying it's not the pin didn't work or whatever i was just saying that the

chip's not voice activated did you that is that a chip does that work in other

places it does it does but no worries it's also the slide does oh okay they

you a certain amount of time and then you'll have to activate that but this

little thing oh it's activated it is yeah do you have a password for it

uh i don't know i'm gonna check it do you press it and yeah see that that's

invalid

I just used this card. You know what I could do? I could hook it up.

You can just make a password if you want. These things are so... I'm like...

This is the worst.

They keep doing that.

Okay.

Let me get it.

Okay,

so you just have a password. You can make one up.

Cermak.

Great. Okay, that'll be your password.

Okay. So before you use this, just... Speak your password before you hand it

over. For real? Or swipe it, yeah.

I didn't even know it was that advanced.

Yeah, the front part has little voice activators, and it'll recognize your

voice. So I say Cermak, and then I put it in? Yep, or Cermak and hand it to the

cashier. Wow. Or some people, when they look through their wallet, they'll say

it. Right, so I don't reveal my password.

Right, yeah, you might want to change that now. Yeah, no, that's fine.

Okay, so you slide that.

And I should be, man. I had no idea.

Yep.

Password verified.

Read. I had no, man.

Yep. Complicated world. It is. Now you know. You got it, man. Have a great day.

Change that when you go home. I will. Okay.

Press it five times.

Five times. And it will let you think.

Just that?

Yeah. Okay.

Very easy.

Very easy.

377.

Okay, out of five.

$1 .23.

Okay, I owe you $1. I apologize, I have those stupid ones that the bank is

giving us now, but these are the single thing here. I was going to set it for

single.

Do you do this at home or no?

No. Oh, yeah, you got to like... Oh, these are hundreds.

All right, hold on.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Oh, because this light was set for that.

Great.

They're all coded differently now.

Oh, yes. You know, at the bank it's coded.

Any bill can be any denomination, depending on the light.

Great. There you go. Sorry.

And if the light frequency is right, it'll be that, so.

All right.

Good.

Will you flip that back when you go home?

Yeah. How would they do that? You got to just put it in the toaster for like 10

minutes. Uh -huh. And we'll flip back to a single.

Okay. Yeah? All right. And remember, turn it back to the single.

I know. It's the honor system now.

I know. Okay.

Thanks. Have a great day.

What an honest man.

How are you? I'm good.

Great. You find everything well?

Yeah, I only came in for one thing.

Oh, this is the promotion.

Yeah. Okay.

Oh, but you know what? This one's the deluxe one, though.

Oh, okay. Yeah, this one usually goes for $15.

What?

Oh, this one's complete.

Oh, okay. So you can try that one.

You're going to have to ring it up separately.

Okay.

There.

All right, yeah.

Just ring that up.

Yeah, I just have to do it in separate pieces.

Okay, so I've got to ring this.

All right.

What the hell?

Huh? I didn't have any idea that any of that would be in there. Oh, yeah, I have

to ring it up separately. Okay. It's a complete breakfast, so all the elements

have to be rung in separately.

Some of the boxes are not complete.

This one's the complete. Okay.

Is that okay?

Well, yeah, it's just you have to touch all of my food now.

Which is kind of gross. Hold on, let me just get the milk out.

There's milk in there, too.

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. It's just so you can have a complete... Well, you're the

weird... Just get the rest out. Sorry it's taking so long.

I feel bad.

It's like they try to do a promotion and then you end up waiting here. Okay.

The paper's free, so there's no skew on that.

And then... Okay.

That's just the breakfast. Why would anybody buy that?

Do you know, like, on commercials when they say, like, they serve their cereal

and they say part of this complete breakfast?

They can't say that unless they actually provide a complete breakfast version of

the product, you know?

Okay. So, last thing here.

Here, hold on.

I'm going to get you a fresh box so that this stuff doesn't get rung up

separately. One second. I'm getting her a fresh box of the home oat.

Sorry about that.

We have a fine shop, and I have brand new hidden cameras today, so no one will

notice they're being filmed.

Hello, can I help you?

Is this your first time here?

Yes. Oh, cool, man.

What are these?

It's like little glass beads, little flat glass beads.

Okay. You feel them?

You remember those candies?

You kind of pick the candies off of the paper?

What exactly do you, like, you just... What do you mean? Well, they're

You pick one of them off. Okay. And you roll it.

Oh, so it's like basically like a scientific booger.

Yeah.

You roll it. What is going on here? Yeah.

Isn't that wild, though? Because it solidifies back up. So this is like the

craze? That's the new craze, yeah, because it's like multiple blowable.

Say that ten times. Multiple blowable bubble. Yeah.

It's expensive, though.

If that's all you're going to do with it.

Good thing you told me, because I was going to actually probably eat this in

living room. No, you could do that to it, too.

You could blow it.

Okay. Like... Oh, like...

What?

And then I could put, like... You just get a pep tube.

Yeah. Wow. You blow a pep tube.

It's hard to get it... I'm getting pretty good at the edges, but...

Get that little lip on top.

It's not perfect, but... Why is it going out of here?

We blow all of our science equipment.

You like the glass, though?

I'm sorry, I'm just... It's been a while since I've been in, like, you know,

like... Scientific places. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, you know what's fun, too? You put sugar inside of it.

You know, for board games. Yeah. Oh, like a little timer.

Yeah, you pour the... You just fill it up.

Once you fill it up out to there, you fold over the top part of the tube to

it. See?

And then I just put a little twist in it.

What? Do you know what I'm saying?

So you're basically, what you're doing is making like a circus animal, like on

balloon? Exactly. It's like balloon twisting with glass.

That is badass, man.

Let me see if I have more sugar. I'll let you go home with a packet of sugar.

Hang on one sec.

I need to get out. I need to get out more often.

Or like do more puzzles or something.

It's not leaking, is it?

No, no.

Oh, good. No, I'm sorry. I'm also, I'm looking at this and I'm just looking

around. I'm like, I wish like my place was decorated like this in college.

Right? And then to keep the glass pliable, you've got to twist it right at

moment that it's pliable. It happens every 17 seconds with the glass. That's

it's hard. You count and twist.

Every 17 seconds, count and twist.

Wow. Yeah, and you'll learn how to do it. Every 17.

Every 17.

That's the Carbonaro effect.

Carbonaro? On glass, yeah.

Do you know that?

No, no, but I've watched the show.

You've watched the show? Yeah. Have you seen that show? Yeah. Oh, my God, I love

that show. Yeah.

Yeah. People say I look like that guy. Are you that guy? Would you recognize me

if I was that guy?

I probably wouldn't.

What's your name?

Tom. Tom, what if I told you my name was Michael Carbonaro? Are you?

And you're on my TV show right now. No.

Yes. Get out of here. The Carbonaro Effect. Get out of here. See the camera

right here?

Yeah. Dude, you're on my show right now. Get the hell out of here. This is the

Carbonaro Effect.

Get out of here. I'm serious, man. Dude, you have no idea what's going on. Are

you leaving?

No, no, no. Because you know what?

I was in Michigan over the summer. Yeah.

And we're watching your show. And I'm like, man, I would never fall for that.

And look at that.

Did you fall for it? And I'm looking at you. I'm like, you got me. You were

awesome. Get the hell out of here.

Find everything all right?

Everything is great.

Excellent. Yeah, fine.

Okay. Let me.

Do you know about these?

No. The embryonic fur?

It's like a toy.

I'm just trying to figure out if it's good for like a.

A six -year -old. On a cellular level, I guess each one of the little

particles has the DNA of fur.

Take a little light like this, and you hit it on the top.

Yeah, and look at that.

Kind of grows.

Isn't that wild?

Yeah, it's like real.

It's real fur.

Look at that.

You're not supposed to touch it with your hands. That's the other thing they

to keep it. Oh, look at that. Wow.

Yeah.

It all sprouts from those tiny little things, right?

Feels like reactive.

Wow. Really weird.

Yeah, here, I'll give you one of these, too, if you're going to try it at home.

You need the companion little wax dot. Wow.

And that goes right on.

The hair follicle.

Those are desaturated stem cells.

Oh, okay. You put that little ball of wax.

You got to drop it in the center of the fur.

Okay. Kind of mix it up, right?

So the stem cells will be absorbed by that.

Then you could try it again.

See that?

Yeah,

as long as it's stuck in the middle like that.

Put them in here.

And that gets wrapped in little asbestos blankies.

Okay. You know, over the stove.

You can use a toaster oven. I use a light because this has a real high

frequency. Okay.

And see how the frequency of the light hits the fur?

And the same thing would happen with your stove at home.

Uh -huh.

Okay.

There, you see it on the side?

There.

Wow! Did you see that?

Like a little... Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me? Kids love that.

No. Yeah, it's good. I just... I'm afraid the pellets would be too small. I

wanted to give it to my niece.

Wow.

Amazing. Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah. That's a real mouth. Yeah, you can leave it like this and it makes a

good... you know christmas tree ornament and hang it you know and the kids can

watch it slowly turn back to pellet you know yeah do you have to leave it in the

dark or something yeah you have to leave it in the dark and then here hang on

hold on a second yeah i'm gonna get the i'm gonna get the booklet on that and

then i'll pull that up here

He's not there no more. Oh, stop it. He's not there no more. Come on, come

come on, come on, come on. Where did he go?

Oh, my God, this is not happening.

Oh, hi.

Welcome to Home Gardening with Michael.

Today, I'm going to teach you how to bury bodies in the yard without anybody

noticing.

I got no neighbor.

All right, man.

Thanks for helping me out here today. Yeah.

Do you have the van keys? Yeah.

All right.

This is what we're going to be doing here today.

This whole area here is going to be renovated.

So I think the first thing that we're going to do, I raked these leaves out of

the way. We're going to just put the mums. I got these. We'll do those first

because the roses are going to go in the back. Okay. All right.

Let me get over here. Yeah, you can toss your big. And also, you want to grab

the, I think over there by the... Gnome?

The gnomes, yeah.

Gnomes, right? Yeah. All right.

Great. And the clippers. Bring the clippers, actually.

Yeah, two shovels and a clip. Perfect.

Now, let's just say... Let's have you come over here, and I guess I'm going to

put... I'll do one here. You want to do one here.

Okay. Here, you know what? You can lean on this.

All right.

Thank you.

Yeah,

and we'll just dig maybe, oh, nine and a half inches down.

Okay. Yeah.

Yeah, we'll make like three or four holes.

That'll be perfect.

And I'll map out where these other ones are going to be here.

Bunch of weeds.

Okay, yeah.

And I found a gnome head.

What is this?

Ew. Oh, jeez.

That's not creepy at all. Yeah. Oh, God. Ew, it's like dirt in his eyeballs.

It's like broken.

I hope there's more in here, though.

That looks kind of strange. Wow.

That's really weird.

Oh, look at its hat.

Ellie. What does it say? Ellie?

Yeah, Ellie.

Ellie? Eli.

Ellie. Why is it in the ground?

That looks kind of freaky. I don't know. Why would they do that? Wait, hold on a

minute.

Why don't we just get rid of it? Yeah, that one. The garbage can right here?

Oh, yeah, yeah, in the can. That's good.

That's freaky. Yeah. First dig up and I get ahead. Okay. Yeah.

That's not good. Okay, good.

All right, yeah.

I'll get a little shovel, too.

Help you out.

Oh, there's something in there that's hard.

Huh?

Like a rock or something. Probably is.

What you got?

Oh, yeah, it's... It's like roots.

Either a root or a rock.

Oh, that's... Oh, my God. That's another head. What is it? Oh, the other half?

That's another head, dude.

It's another head?

Yeah, look.

There's two of them?

Oh, that's not the other half.

That's another head. And it says Ellie 2, though. Oh, no. What's going on?

That does look like the same one. Did it, like... Ugh.

Ugh. Oh, my God.

It's not in there.

Come on. I'm not even lying, dude. Do you want to go look in there?

That wasn't... There's nothing in there.

Hold on a minute. Did you, like, bury it down in there, or did you just... Yeah,

bro, it's not in here.

So it just, like, came back to... Yeah, I think it did.

Come on. Is it the same one?

How do you know it's the same one? It had Ellie on it, too. That's the same

writing.

Dude, I don't... Is it... Is it bad luck touching this or something?

You know what? You know what? Let's just... Here.

I'll hold the lid open.

Come here.

Let's bury it down in there deep.

Like, get it all the way in there. Dude, I am not getting deep.

Put that down.

Maybe put this on top of it. I am not getting right in there.

That is freaky. That is so creepy.

You've never seen that happen? No, I didn't see that happen. It's so weird.

I felt something again, and I was like, these gnomes are freaking me out.

Were these gnomes here?

Were these gnomes not... These gnomes weren't here. They had to be.

These gnomes weren't here. We walked on these, remember?

We... What?

Bro, they're surrounding us.

Dude, these gnomes are freaking me out. Look at these gnomes.

Were these gnomes here?

Were these gnomes not? These gnomes weren't here. They had to be.

These gnomes weren't here. We walked on these, remember?

We... What?

Bro, they're surrounding us.

Okay.

That's some haunted freaking shit right there. Yeah.

There was gnomes on this plant.

Remember?

Let me see. There's only one dude here.

Oh my God, that's where the little dudes were.

Dude, okay.

That's not even funny.

No, that's not good.

This is not funny.

Okay. These gnomes weren't here, bro.

No.

Dude, I watched your footing and we took a step on each of these patch tiles.

So where did... So they just walked over here? Bro.

Come on. No, I...

Oh, my God. Are there little footprints?

I mean, give me a break, right?

Yeah.

Dude.

He's missing.

What? He's not there no more.

He's not there no more. Oh, stop it. He's not there no more. Come on, come

come on, come on, come on.

Where did he go? Oh, my God. This is not happening. He's not there? He's not

there.

We just watched. We've both seen him there, right?

Okay, I don't want to. I'm not staying here. Dude, let me have my van keys.

Did you see them on the ground anywhere?

No, I don't see them.

They're not by the... I ain't touching these gnomes, bro.

I must have thrown them in the garbage or something when I was digging for that

thing, no?

Dude, this is really creeping me out. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Look, look, look, look.

Those are my keys.

Those are my keys.

Go get the keys. Get the keys. No, get the keys and we'll get out of here.

Dude, come on. You get the keys. I'm not getting the keys.

He has your...

You touched it. You touched it. You get it. I never touched that gnome. Don't

make it angry.

I'm not making it angry. I don't know how to make Nazis mad. Okay.

All right. This is crazy.

Just grab your keys, bro.

I'm not getting them. Just grab your keys. You get them.

I ain't getting those, bro.

We'll both go and get them.

Okay. Don't kick no gnomes over. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Bro. You get them? Look. Look at it. Look at it. You can't even take it off.

I don't want to touch it, man. You pick it up.

Can you pick it up?

This is true.

Oh, my God. My mom told me that these come alive.

Wait, what?

This is some true shit my mom told me. What do you mean?

Like, gnomes have, like, magic powers, dude. I'm not even kidding.

Well, could you get the keys out of his hand if you know so much about magic

gnomes? You can't. Look, bro, look it.

You can't take the keys out of his hand. You have to, like, don't grab them.

Don't grab them. Don't grab them. You can't. You got to break his hand off,

Oh, yeah. Like, duck.

He's got to, like, let go of them.

Look. This is some... The gnome stole his... Alright.

And the gnome surrounded us.

After we've just undug a gnome head. Alright, I know what this is.

Do you know what this is?

Oh, I don't know what this is.

This has got to be like the Carbonaro effect.

Carbonaro. Do you believe that? About gnomes and stuff?

The Carbonaro effect is the name of a hidden camera.

Magic.

You're on it right now. Dude.

Dude.

Come on.

Oh, Julian, man.

What were you thinking?

My mom told me some shit about that before. I'm not even kidding. That shit

freaky. Oh, man.

Are you okay?

No, I'm shaking, man. That shit was so real.

Dude, my name's Michael Carbonaro.

I'm a magician.

Oh, even you're a magician.

Come on, no. Don't be mad at me, man. That was some freaky shit.

You're the greatest, man. I was thinking, like, that lady's a

was just like, oh, my God.