Original subtitles

This is how I cook at home.

Just make a lot of noise in the kitchen and then just put, like, a microwave

meal in.

I can make omelets.

All right, hey, Danny, maybe you can help me out over here for a second.

All right, we're going to be doing some platters of raw oysters and stuff, clams

and oysters.

They have shrimp out there right now, and these are, well, they laid them out,

but we want them to be, like, you know, open on the half shell.

Okay. So maybe shout -chuck them.

And that'll probably be better anyway, you know? Okay.

No, not your fingers. Just do a shout -shucking because it's going to be, you

know, a lot more tender inside.

Shout -shucking?

A shout -shucking?

Yeah, if they're all closed, you can do this.

You, you know, cover them up and you want to make, like, a loud noise,

Right, you hear how it echoes in that?

Like doing increments?

Yeah, you can do it in increments.

There you go.

See that?

Okay. Yeah.

This one didn't go, so I'll do that one. Another little... No.

Maybe you get that one. I'll try it.

Bring on my inner thespian or whatever. I don't know. Yeah.

There you go.

Got a little thing.

Nothing, huh?

It's being difficult. It is difficult.

It's literally clamming up.

If they don't go, we'll just put the ones that don't work to the side.

Okay, just like rearrange.

Now I just put the move. Yeah, I know what you're saying. It's quick a little

bit. Say something again.

Hello, little oyster.

Maybe a lower pitch.

Hello, oyster. There you go.

Do it again.

Come on, little putty.

Yeah.

Some of them have a... Yeah,

they have like a... Some of them need more gentle approach.

Oh, there you go.

Oh, look.

Oh,

she's protecting.

That's my Santa Pearl.

Some of them need a more gentle approach.

Yeah. Let me take him aside, and I'm going to put the pearl somewhere safe.

Okay. And then you can shove those right in the bowl, and then we'll lay them

out. Okay. Okay. All right. Right back.

Ha!

Hello, little buddy!

It's me!

There you go.

Oven just went on the fritz.

So I got a guy who's going to come in and fix it. So until then, we're just

going to get some potatoes prepped for baking them.

Okay. All right. So just grab me a potato there.

All right.

Pull up a piece of the foil.

And it's got to be the shiny side in, and I'll show you why.

Okay. All right.

And roll it just like that.

And this is warming foil.

Okay. So you can feel it kind of like. Yeah, I see.

Because once it coils in on itself, it'll activate it.

And I usually use this part of my palm to just feel that. Just put your palm

over the top of that and see if you can feel it.

Feels a little warm, right? Yeah. It's that same stuff that's on the inside of

gloves. You know those little packs that make gloves warm?

You break it up. Yeah, the heat.

Exactly. You put it inside. It's that same technology that's threaded

the foil here. So once it folds over on itself, you can feel that kind of thing.

And you've got to be careful, too, because it's got, you know.

For foil, it's a tremendous amount of warnings that you have to watch out for.

That's just one thing you have to be careful about. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Yeah. Whoa, that's a warming foil, all right.

Yeah, it's kind of like a strike anywhere match when it folds over on

Okay, well, that's something to be careful about. Yeah, you have to be very

careful about how you fold it. So I'm going to let you use that.

Timing, too, is the other thing.

Shoot.

Oh, man, look at that. Damn!

Did he just cook it like that that fast? Yeah. Shoot. And it's burnt.

Damn.

It's only supposed to be in there for a few seconds.

I can't believe that happened that fast. I just learned something new today.

Yeah.

I'm not feeling it.

Maybe a little too dangerous.

Okay.

My bad.

Okay.

Good. Not a problem.

My eyebrows kind of got that a little bit there.

Let's, uh... I say we wait for the guy to fix the oven.

Okay. Yeah. That worked.

That worked. Let me see if he's gone his way. You hang tight right there. All

right. All right.

The oven guy is... Hot

fryer. Okay. There you go.

Actually, come on over to this side of the table. Sure. All right, I'm going to

show you how we're going to garnish these up, okay? Okay, yeah.

So here's how we do this, all right?

Okay. All right, so with each one of these, what I like to do, new company,

they're super fresh fish sticks, but, you know, high -end fish sticks, they're

telling us. Nice. Just be very careful because we like to get them out super,

super hot, okay?

Sure. The one I just put on, it just pats out a little more grease, then

out from the basic splash after it's dipped.

All right, you want to put a little dollop on that guy? Let's do it.

Whoa. Oh, there you go. Is that one still alive?

No,

I think it's moving around. We don't want to be serving them, okay?

Yeah. Understood, yeah.

All right, so they said it's a real fresh.

Yeah, so it's an oil. Okay.

Shut the up, man. Come on. Are you kidding me? Come on. The thing is

alive. I think that's a catfish.

I mean, do you think, I mean, with all of these fish coming in, there's got to

be little baby fish that get in the way. But how the hell did he survive all

that? That's amazing.

Yeah, I mean, this is a cooked filet of fish, right?

That you're just putting in oil. Yeah. How?

No way.

I mean, can you imagine, honestly, if you serve that?

No. Oh, my God. Can you imagine? Can you imagine?

Oh, my God. That would be like the greatest slash worst day in history.

of food service ever. Okay, let me call the supplier. Hang tight. You do what

you need to do. You hang tight right there. I'm going to be right here with

Miracle.

Oh, my God.

You got a buddy in here?

A little stowaway?

Nope. Nope, just you, bud.

Just you.

There's a landscaper over there talking to themselves.

Somebody send somebody.

Did they tell you about the little situation we were having with the bird

feeders? What happened?

Like all last year during, you know, high peak season when the people come to

love to watch the birds and we fill the feeders, there were some animal was

coming and like eating all the feeders.

How in the world?

It was like we'd fill it up at night and then in the morning they'd be empty. So

we were like, then they tried to lower it.

You know, to figure it out. And now this is, I think, going to work. This is

working, yeah?

I think, yeah. All right.

All right, you want to unclasp that? Of course, sure.

This will be good. It's because, you know, and people love coming to the park

for that reason, to watch birds. Yeah, this park is absolutely amazing.

Tons of them. Love it. Okay, I think we've got our solution now.

That's going to be really sealed. It's got the tiniest little bit.

But that's something the birds would know that hopefully... Okay, the other

animal, the creature, can't figure out.

Let's keep that perfectly.

Okay. All right, get it up like this.

That should work, right? Yeah, I think we'll be good. You think so? I think

we're good. No way they're going to be able to get down from there. No, you

what? At that point, I think that it's the person.

You know what? I never even thought about that. It could be a person that's

doing it. It could be. Here, see if I'm hanging this up straight.

All right, wait.

It's funny. We do get a lot of bird watchers.

So, I mean, yeah, because there's no way something's going to be able to get to

that. The rails are a little leany.

Yeah, but it'll stay, right? Yeah, it'll stay. And if something tries to climb

up it, it's not going to be able to do that. It's going to lean. No, they

definitely won't do that. It's funny because we used to fill them, and then,

like, right on the end of here, you would, like, literally see them all,

lining up, getting ready to. Oh, my gosh.

I know, it's crazy.

That sounds beautiful.

Here, so I'll get the bucket.

What do you need me to grab?

Let's see. Oh my God, it's in the box.

That freaking quick.

How did this just happen? Oh my freaking God.

How did that get in there that freaking quick? I can't believe it. I cannot take

this right now. I just saw you hang that up and there was nothing in there.

And it's sealed.

This is the freakiest thing I've ever seen. I know. You, like, didn't believe

before. I'm telling you, every time I feel it. No, it wasn't even that. It

sounded like we heard the noise and turned, and then I look, and this is

at me.

Oh, my God.

How did it get in there?

Yeah. You should take a picture and show it to whoever you've been talking to

about this situation. Yeah, I think, and you'll tell them that, too. I can vouch

for you right now. I would take this to someone and show them, like, look,

they're smart. They're waiting until this.

Literally, he had to have been sitting here, like.

Yep. This is the creepiest because that's a whole big animal inside of

If I hadn't just seen this myself, like, sincerely, that was insane.

Hi. Hi, you smart baby.

Hi, little possum.

Hi.

Hey, how did you get in there?

How did you do this?

Wait, wait, so you're saying Pluto is not really a planet?

Pluto is no longer a planet. Now they're only teaching kids in school that there

are eight planets from the sun. Remember, when I was in elementary

was nine planets from the sun. Oh, yeah. We don't know what's going on. We don't

even know why we're here. All we know is we came from a glob of nothing. That's

right. And we've been transformed into alligators, to monkeys, to turtles. And

I'm still trying to figure out how the human being came to be.

Look at this.

What is that? Is that an egg?

Not an egg. It's breaking too easily.

Oh, yeah.

You know, we got to clean up leaves, and if we see a nest, we got to get it out

of the tree.

What? Because it attracts, you know, other animals.

Yeah, will you hold this side?

Yes, I will.

Okay.

There's no more eggs, Bob.

Oh, my gosh.

What's going on?

What about?

Look at that.

It wasn't.

And a big -ass egg.

Oh, it is, yeah.

What type of bird was this?

Here, will you hold that?

Just careful, they're fragile.

Let me see.

I would have never suspected this has an egg.

Yeah.

Is it like a hawk?

That came out of something's body.

I would like it, yeah. It's got a crack on the side here.

Oh, man. Why don't we go ahead and open it? What are we going to find?

Yeah, it's like, I feel it.

I see the beak. Yeah, I see it. It looks like it's breathing.

I see the eyes.

Yeah. I see the eyes. It's open. Yeah.

It's coming out. Yeah.

It's coming out. Don't leave me. Oh, it's so cute. It's coming out.

It's a hamster.

A hamster?

I think this is a woodland guinea.

It's a guinea pig?

It's a woodland guinea.

Yeah, you see him? Come here.

Hey. This is like that thing, you know, the survival of the fittest? Yes.

They've adapted to start laying their young in eggs.

Yes, so they disguise them. They disguise their babies by... As birds.

That's right. In a nest.

Yes. To save them.

To save them.

I don't know, man. Maybe it's like what you were saying with, like, Pluto or

something. And now, basically, life is changing.

Yeah. The whole universe is changing. That's right. Things are shifting

This is what he was born out of. Yeah.

Oh, my God. I'm lost.

Me, too. I'm lost. I never suspected a mammal coming out of an egg.

No, me neither.

Like, really?

Okay, this was kind of a dare.

And I'm going to do it. I know it seems so wrong. It's not. It's going to be

funny. Gabe? Gabe, how are you? Hi, good. Nice to meet you. Okay, yeah, I

actually don't know too much of what's going on. It's always so weird when they

have food awake.

I wouldn't be able to eat. No, I know.

Is there someone in there?

Not yet. The body's coming in an hour.

All right, let me get this done.

Yeah, I know. Seriously, I'm like you. I'm like, yeah. And I think the flower's

supposed to be yellow, but we're going to maybe work around that.

They brought the wrong flowers.

I think it was something like... Rick's sort of eccentric, so he's like... I

don't know whether the family had asked for it or he did. He wanted a different

color. Oh, okay. All right, I'm going to see if I can get him on the phone

because we shouldn't really do too much of anything.

Without him. Yeah, without him telling us what to do.

Thanks, man. I'll be right out. No problem.

Hello. Hey.

Good afternoon.

Hey, hey.

I'm Gabe. Nice to meet you. Gabe.

Hey, what's going on here?

This is, uh... I'm just helping out.

Well, this is nice.

This is nice.

Food's coming?

I don't want to answer any wrong questions.

That came out good.

I'm not sure about this.

This one, I'm not... I don't know if this was what was expected.

Hmm.

Hey, he's in there.

Sorry? He's in there.

Not yet. In an hour. No, I mean, you freaked out, right? No, no.

There's a guy in there. He came in. Say again?

I think your boss or somebody. He came in.

Rick came in? Yeah, I think he's in the casket.

He's in there forever.

In it?

Mm -hmm.

I don't think that's funny, man.

Somebody got in here?

He's in there.

What are you talking about?

Were they... He was just... Yeah, he got in there.

Did somebody come in and say they were going to bring the body or something?

Yeah, it was a guy in a suit, and he had... That would be Rick, maybe.

Yeah, and he had like a white beard. Tall, black. He was short.

He had a white beard, and he had white hair.

came in this room he came he just walked in here i just talked to him he came in

he goes hmm this is gonna be weird how are we gonna do this and then he walked

up here climbed in here shut this dude i think you're like no i'm serious i just

dude i just talked to somebody i'm not crazy what the hell that would be so

creepy if that was some like i mean Is there any other way out of here? No.

No, that's storage, table storage.

There's that right here.

Oh, my God.

What?

Were you, like, spooked out? Did you see something?

Yeah.

Like, real? Like, for real?

Oh, my God, you're, like, telling me the truth. It was flesh, dude. It was a

person.

And it was that person.

Are you serious? I promise you on everything.

I'm not crazy. No, I know you're like a serious looking guy. I don't play

around. Actually, I was mad because I thought you were like... That's

disrespectful. Yeah.

So wait, what happened? I walked out.

That was crazy, dude. Oh my God.

There's got to be somebody who works in here that looked exactly like him, dude.

I was right here.

Dude walks right in this door.

Dude walks right in this door, right by me.

And then I'll go like this.

To shake his hand, that was the first part that was weirdest.

Like, excuse my language, but I'm a little creeped out.

I went like this, and I'm like, hey, nice to meet you.

And then the dude kept walking. He's, like, staring at the thing. He's like,

well, this looks nice.

And I'm like, okay, dickhead. You know, like, he was rude. You know what I mean?

And I reached out to grab his hand, and the dude didn't even acknowledge that I

was reaching.

I was like, but he was talking to me.

That is odd.

You know, like, I heard him.

Oh, my God, see?

Dude. That's who it was?

Bro, we need to get out of this room, my dude.

Wait a minute.

See, now you know I'm not lying, right?

Well, no, I knew you weren't lying.

Wait a minute.

Yeah, he was a member here. Oh, my God.

Okay, honestly, I actually wasn't believing. I was kind of half believing

Dude, IG, you just saw that.

I saw that happen. Okay, so now you know I'm not lying. No, I know. I didn't

think you were telling me. I thought you... I'm not... This guy was a person.

Yeah. I hope you're real.

No, I am.

Oh, my... Dude. I know. I think we're both going through that, you know, the

Carbonaro effect.

What is that?

Yeah, it's the name of a hidden camera magic TV show.

My name's Michael Carbonaro.

Hi. I'm a magician.

This is my TV show right now, The Carbonaro Effect.

Holy crap.

What do you think?

What do you think?

Dude, you were awesome. Dude, oh, my God.

Don't leave.

Don't leave.

Wow.

That was crazy. Yeah. You have to put that part in. Do not edit that part out.

When you air this, do not edit out the part where I was like, okay, I tried to

shake the guy's hand, and he was a dick. I love that. I love it. Excuse my

language. Yes.

You were awesome.