Original subtitles

A quarter of a million pounds.

22 identical sealed boxes and no questions except one.

Deal or no deal?

Welcome to the Dream Factory. Thank you, children.

Yes, we've got a really buoyant atmosphere here, despite the fact that

banker is very much in the ascendancy.

We are looking for somebody to come out here and give the banker a really good

spanking. It's a big challenge, but I hope you've got what it takes.

Nan!

Go on, Nan, it's your big moment.

Take the walk of wealth.

Welcome to your game, Nan.

Oh, that's made me laugh, that has, hasn't it?

So what have you brought with you? No deal!

No deal!

No!

That's it!

I tell you, if he thinks he's taking me for a ride, he can forget it, because I

tell you, I've got nerves of steel.

Do you feel as if it is your lucky day?

Got to be, ain't it, eh?

Quarter million pounds, mine, ain't it, eh?

I see you've got a picture with you.

Oh, I've got a picture, aye, darling. That's my beautiful grandson, Jamie. Do

you want to just show it there to the camera? Oh, look, there he is, love.

He can't be... He's at university.

Oh, yeah.

Which one is he at? I don't know, love. I don't take much notice.

He's a beautiful boy, though. Oh, no, he's a beautiful boy.

So... I bought you a slice of Madeira cake.

Oh, thank you. Here you are. I've got a bowl of beef sandwich in there. I'm not

going to have it cos...

Because of gas, quite honestly.

If you say what I'm saying.

So when can I have my cake?

Go on, darling, help yourself.

I like an occasional nibble. Yeah, it's how you will your right to. I've heard.

Thank you very much.

Are you happy to move on and immediately go for the money?

Get right on to it, love. You've been wasting my time ever since I got here.

I need you to confirm that you chose box number one at random before the game. I

did, sweetheart, yes. No -one forced me.

It's sealed by the independent adjudicator. Sealed by the independent

adjudicator. Who seals all 22 boxes and is the only person... Every cow sees.

..who knows where the money is.

Sticking a bit of sellotape on a box.

Independent adjudicator.

Oh, she didn't last long at school, did she?

OK.

The East Wing are with you, the West Wing are with you, the Pilgrims are

behind you. Nan, have a great game. Good luck.

I can't believe I'm here.

I was like, I've got to choose a number, isn't it? Five to the first phone call.

I'm going to go with my beautiful Susan.

Number six.

Susan, will you please get Nan's game underway?

You're a smashing lady, Nan. I hope it's a blue for you.

No.

£35 ,000.

That's all right.

That's all right. Don't worry about it. I've got bundles, myself.

Don't worry about it.

That's worth nothing.

Look at that board, eh?

Yep. Don't touch the next four of the Power Five. We'll be all right. No, no,

won't dare.

We won't dare, no.

Next, I'm going to go with Fat Stella.

Stella, would you please...

We live together, don't we?

In the hotel.

Don't want to go down to breakfast after Stella. Ain't nothing left.

She's so much good as gold. She's good as gold.

Stella, darling, pick me a blue sweet up, for God's sake.

That was a blip, Gran.

I know it's going to be a good one for you.

Good luck to you, darling. Thank you, Stella.

fucking hit the 250.

No one is going out.

No, it ain't their fault. It ain't their fault.

We can turn this around now.

I'm going to go with Johnny.

Well, I hope this is good for you, Nan. Here we go.

Oh, no.

We did not want to see that.

Three of the power five in the first three boxes. This is not looking good,

We're in a fucking hearing, aren't we?

That's like a thief. What's the fucking matter here?

Don't matter. Okay, that's the end of the Big Reds. We're now going to go on a

blues cruise.

Yeah. I'm going to go with Louise.

Louise, we've had the 35 ,000, the 75 ,000, the 100 ,000. We can turn this

around, can't we? We can change this.

Blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue, blue.

The seal's off. I'm sorry. We're there. This is almost on the verge of the Hall

of Fame, but we can turn this game around.

There still could be a quarter of a million there. Oh. End the round with

one P.

Twelve. Me lovely Ellen.

You're a special woman now. Good luck.

Blue, blue,

blue.

What the fucking matter with you?

What the matter with you choosing a quarter of a million?

It's all right. It's OK. What the matter with me? Me should have said no.

And anyway... Should we talk, then?

I'd love to, now.

No, no, come on, positivity.

What do you think the banker makes of you from your performance over there?

I've got to burn his respect, don't I?

Yeah, I'd have thought so.

He's a reasonable man, isn't he?

And I suspect he finds... Or is he Welsh?

He might have a trump card because he does like the more mature woman. There

go, lad.

Hello, banker.

Oh,

he's delighted with this opening round.

Oh, listen to the laughter. Listen to the laughter.

Because of that opening round. All five of the power five going.

Can I have a word? Oh, well, we don't know what he's offering me yet. He might

be offering me a load of money. I better not.

Yeah. She wants to have a word with you. Are you prepared to take the call?

Nan, it's the banker.

Hello?

straight out.

Oh, I'm... Oh, well, darling, I've had a bit of bad luck, haven't I? It depends

how you look at it, though, don't it?

What?

Oh, you filthy bastard.

I don't like that.

I don't like none of that talk.

He says you've got spunk.

I'm full of it.

But... Thank you very much.

Despite his considerable affection and respect for you, Nan, he has to reflect

the fact that that was the worst opening round we've ever had. And your offer is

£199.

Now, £199.

Deal or no deal?

Nan, just one sec, nobody has ever gone at the first offer. I can put the

question again. I'll tell you why, because they're greedy bastards.

That's right.

But there's a lot more money. I'm soft, spend on what I like, thank you very

much. There's so much more in the game.

Darling, that's bunts for me to weigh up, because there's only £50 in there,

it's £50 in there, so what do I want to be walking home with that for? But you

can't be sure, Nan.

Nan, there could be... Darling! there's £50 in it, I know, because I had a look

earlier.

I've seen it being taken for a mug by some fella at the end of a phone who's

ain't got the fucking decency to come at it.

Thank you very much. Deal, deal, deal.

OK, Nan, well, that's it. But now, of course, we have to play on.

What? We have to play on. Oh, no, love.

I've got time to be sitting around playing a game for money I ain't going

win.

No, thank you very much.

Oh, anyway, I'm going now, darling.

$199 ,000.

Thank you very much.