Original subtitles

Yeah, so my name's Parker, and I'm here because I'm single and looking for a

girlfriend.

I've tried the usual ways of finding a girl, but nothing seems to work yet.

That's the reason why I'm here.

Basically, I'm supposed to go on a date with Sarah, but...

Before I can get there, I have to go on a date with her mom, Miss Morgan.

And we'll see how that goes. If it's anything like the last date, then it

be a good day.

Hi, my name is Millie Morgan.

I'm 45 years old and I'm here to find someone sweet and kind to date my

daughter. If I could pick out my ideal guy for Sarah, I'd have to pick someone

who's very similar to a younger version of my husband. I feel like that type of

man would really be able to provide for her. We were actually at a drum circle

by the beach and, you know, he was leading the chance and...

I just admit, in the way that the stars were sparkling in his eyes in the full

moon, I just knew that the stars had crossed and I had finally met my person.

Well, hopefully, Parker is exactly who you're looking for. Are you ready to

him? I think so.

Awesome. All right, come with me.

Let's go.

Hi. It's such a pleasure to meet you.

I'm Parker, likewise.

Oh, my God.

I can feel the good energy vibrating off of your aura.

I really want a guy with good vibes to date my daughter.

Yeah, I mean, I'd like to say I'm pretty good vibes.

Pretty chill.

Great.

So, I was thinking for our date, we could focus on self -care.

I think it's so vital to nourish not only the body, but also the spirit.

Yeah, okay. Sounds cool.

Amazing. So, I was thinking we'd start with a palm reading, and then we'd

that up with a hot stone massage so that we can realign your energies.

Sounds great.

Let's go.

Okay, yeah. Come have a seat.

Okay.

Oh, wow.

I can see that you have really impressive love lines.

Oh. And you see the spacing between your fingers?

Mm -hmm. That means that you're both driven and passionate, which is

That's really important to my daughter. You know, she's really passionate about

art, painting.

I'm envisioning the aura of our date as, like, this deep purple hue, you know,

saturated with empathy and deep respect. So I think we're off to a great start.

I can see that you have a very calming energy about you.

That's wonderful.

Yeah.

So, how about we begin the massage now?

Yeah, sure.

Right here?

I'm going to need you to go ahead and take off your shirt.

I'm going to take mine off, too.

You are?

Yeah. It's perfectly natural.

It'll help us realign our energies better.

Okay.

That man clearly lives a very healthy and active lifestyle.

I actually, I was a little embarrassed, but I kind of wanted to ask him if I

could borrow his abs to do my washing later.

How's that pressure? Is that good?

Yeah, it was good.

Oh, wow.

Your muscles are quite tight.

You carry a lot of tension in your shoulders.

We've got to work this out together.

You might have some stagnant energy stored at the beach. You're fine.

Is that bad?

I think we can't work out together.

Okay. Yeah.

for the next part of the massage, I'm going to need you to take your pants

Underwear, too.

Are you sure?

Oh, yes.

It's perfectly normal.

There's nothing to be embarrassed of.

Being naked is beautiful.

Okay. Yeah.

We help you.

Thank you.

Too hot?

No, no, no. It's different.

Well, I would have definitely not expected a hot stone on a hot day.

It's a lot hotter than I would expect it to be.

Start a more traditional approach.

Then her hands traveled upwards a bit and started grazing my balls.

Didn't really know where she wanted to take this, but I started getting hard

I was hoping she wouldn't notice.

Then I also kind of wanted her to notice to see where it would go.

You know, it was the time of the massage where he's supposed to turn over, and I

wasn't sure if he was going to, but I really, really wanted him to.

And then when I saw him turn around and his giant cock was just staring me in

the face,

Today I was shocked.

What an understatement.

Wow.

Quite an impressive thought.

Thank you.

I was very surprised how quickly it escalated, especially because we were

outside.

Any of the neighbors could have looked over the wall and seen us.

Yeah, I knew we were gonna fuck.

Isn't the date over, though?

Oh, no.

I need to reset your sexual energy immediately.

We're gonna fuck.

What kind of mother would I be if I passed along a man of low vibrational

to my daughter?

Of course I had to test him out first. You know, I have to make sure that his

chakras are aligned, that he doesn't have a low root vibrational energy.

That could just ruin all her shadow work that she's been working on.

Okay.

Do you want to go inside with me?

Yeah.

Come with me.

I guess we're doing this again.

Mmm.

Oh.

I love that.

It's a lot of energy.

Oh, it's just fucking amazing.

Yes.

Let me ride you back in the face.

If you make me come, you might realign my sacral chakra.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Yeah.

Mm -hmm.

Appreciate the massage and the palm reading.

I don't think it's for me.

I don't think I'm going to date Sarah.

All right. I understand.

I mean, our lifestyle's not for everyone, but I didn't tell you that

a pretty short lifeline.

So, in the end, you're lost.

Wait.

What do you mean I have a short lifeline?

Should I be worried about that?