subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Tomcats.2001.1080p.BluRay.x264.DTS-FGT-English

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian Download

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:05,878 --> 00:03:06,845 Is this such a good idea? 2 00:03:08,214 --> 00:03:11,274 Is marriage a good idea? Because marriage is huge. 3 00:03:11,484 --> 00:03:14,544 I am having trouble breathing. 4 00:03:14,754 --> 00:03:16,745 I am having trouble catching my breath. 5 00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:19,890 - Would you relax? - How could I possibly relax!? 6 00:03:20,093 --> 00:03:21,583 Because it's my wedding. 7 00:03:21,828 --> 00:03:23,853 That's Max. Only 19 years old... 8 00:03:24,063 --> 00:03:27,658 ...and is getting married to the only girl he's ever had sex with. 9 00:03:30,837 --> 00:03:33,738 That day l promised myself, I'd stay single forever. 10 00:03:34,207 --> 00:03:35,231 Gimshins. 11 00:03:35,675 --> 00:03:37,336 Granted, Kimberly was gorgeous. 12 00:03:37,543 --> 00:03:40,535 - What's the hold-up? - Your groom isn't quite out yet. 13 00:03:40,747 --> 00:03:42,840 Well, fix it, Daddy! 14 00:03:43,282 --> 00:03:46,251 l guess Max didn't see her quite the way l did. 15 00:03:46,586 --> 00:03:47,610 Make him behave! 16 00:03:47,854 --> 00:03:49,651 It will be perfect. I promise. 17 00:03:49,856 --> 00:03:53,519 Kimberly's father helped invent a very special pill. 18 00:03:55,528 --> 00:03:59,157 Now, Viagra beat him to the market, but his pill was just as good. 19 00:03:59,365 --> 00:04:01,060 It could turn this... 20 00:04:01,267 --> 00:04:02,962 ...into this. 21 00:04:05,204 --> 00:04:07,263 There's enough to give an elephant a boner. 22 00:04:07,473 --> 00:04:10,931 You are so bad. Your own sister's wedding? 23 00:04:11,778 --> 00:04:13,803 Please. She's gonna love it. 24 00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:17,482 I'LL put it on the gift table. They'll take it on the honeymoon. 25 00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:19,984 He'll have a three-day boner. 26 00:04:22,789 --> 00:04:25,314 I love the smell of bridesmaids in the morning. 27 00:04:25,825 --> 00:04:30,319 My best friend, Kyle. lf this is your average brain... 28 00:04:30,730 --> 00:04:33,460 ...this is Kyle's brain. 29 00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:37,934 Anyway, the wedding was about to get especially hard. 30 00:04:38,938 --> 00:04:42,066 I propose a toast. Ah, yes. To Max! 31 00:04:42,975 --> 00:04:45,136 First tomcat to take the plunge. 32 00:04:45,344 --> 00:04:46,606 Thanks, guys. 33 00:04:46,813 --> 00:04:49,043 May it never happen to us! 34 00:04:52,451 --> 00:04:53,816 There you go, buddy. 35 00:05:02,361 --> 00:05:03,692 Dude. 36 00:05:05,932 --> 00:05:07,126 Dude. 37 00:05:10,870 --> 00:05:12,098 Dude. 38 00:05:13,272 --> 00:05:16,537 This is the best wine ever. 39 00:05:17,343 --> 00:05:20,141 What the hell is going on? Everybody's waiting out there. 40 00:05:21,147 --> 00:05:23,138 What is up with you? 41 00:05:26,819 --> 00:05:28,548 Holy Mary... 42 00:05:28,788 --> 00:05:30,380 ...Mother of God. 43 00:05:30,723 --> 00:05:33,214 You boys must really like weddings. 44 00:05:35,194 --> 00:05:37,059 Get out there. Everybody's waiting. 45 00:06:01,254 --> 00:06:02,721 Don't move. 46 00:06:04,590 --> 00:06:06,251 Here we go, here we go. 47 00:06:23,576 --> 00:06:25,009 You may all be seated. 48 00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:33,708 - Turn around. - We can't. 49 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:34,944 Here we go. 50 00:06:49,969 --> 00:06:53,530 Don't they look handsome in their tuxedos? 51 00:06:54,273 --> 00:06:57,106 I cannot believe that Max actually went through with it. 52 00:06:57,310 --> 00:06:58,937 It's a goddamn shame. 53 00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:03,944 I am hereby dedicating myself to a life as a professional tomcat. 54 00:07:04,150 --> 00:07:06,448 Professional tomcat, right on. 55 00:07:06,652 --> 00:07:08,620 Yeah, man. Forget marriage. 56 00:07:08,821 --> 00:07:10,618 I'll nail every woman on the planet. 57 00:07:10,823 --> 00:07:11,790 Every one? 58 00:07:11,991 --> 00:07:13,253 Except my mother and grandmother. 59 00:07:13,459 --> 00:07:15,723 First of all, your mom is hot. 60 00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:18,526 Secondly, you realize there are... 61 00:07:18,731 --> 00:07:20,790 ...two and a half billion females on Earth. 62 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:24,333 - Are you saying it can't be done? - No. But we got to divide them up. 63 00:07:25,271 --> 00:07:26,238 Deal. 64 00:07:26,472 --> 00:07:28,702 I'LL never get married. Ever. 65 00:07:28,908 --> 00:07:31,843 You're almost married as it is. Kelly runs your life. 66 00:07:32,078 --> 00:07:34,478 She does not! 67 00:07:34,914 --> 00:07:36,176 You've got five minutes. 68 00:07:36,415 --> 00:07:37,347 Thank you. 69 00:07:40,653 --> 00:07:42,348 You'll be the next to go. 70 00:07:42,555 --> 00:07:44,819 Please. We all know who'll be next. 71 00:07:45,024 --> 00:07:46,651 Steve dog! 72 00:07:48,861 --> 00:07:51,227 I don't even have a girlfriend. 73 00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:52,954 You're going down, buddy. 74 00:07:53,165 --> 00:07:54,496 What? Why? 75 00:07:55,101 --> 00:07:59,037 Because, like Max, the first girl that lets you get with her, you'll marry. 76 00:07:59,238 --> 00:08:00,227 You want to bet? 77 00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:02,634 Actually bet? Really bet for money? 78 00:08:02,842 --> 00:08:06,175 Yeah. Let's say the last single man gets a thousand bucks... 79 00:08:06,379 --> 00:08:09,280 ...from the rest of you who end up getting married. 80 00:08:09,682 --> 00:08:11,445 Six grand's a lot of money. 81 00:08:12,385 --> 00:08:16,185 No, no. If we're going to do this, we do it right. Okay? 82 00:08:16,389 --> 00:08:19,586 Each of us puts two hundred dollars a year away in savings. 83 00:08:19,792 --> 00:08:22,852 No, no, no. High-yield mutual fund. 84 00:08:23,062 --> 00:08:26,554 All right, the last man standing at the end, gets the whole pot. 85 00:08:26,799 --> 00:08:28,596 I'm talking 1 0, 20 grand! 86 00:08:28,801 --> 00:08:29,893 That's a lot of money. 87 00:08:30,136 --> 00:08:32,866 Yeah. And you're out if you go gay, Gary. 88 00:08:33,072 --> 00:08:34,130 Hey, blow me. 89 00:08:39,078 --> 00:08:40,204 ALL right, Gary's out. 90 00:08:40,746 --> 00:08:43,772 I'm in. Tomcats' bet. Let's get in here. 91 00:08:43,983 --> 00:08:45,541 Come on, get in here! 92 00:08:45,751 --> 00:08:48,185 I'm going to invest some money, okay? 93 00:08:48,387 --> 00:08:50,321 Tomcats! Tomcats! 94 00:08:56,595 --> 00:09:00,224 You guys are going to pay me so bad! 95 00:09:01,267 --> 00:09:04,498 I don't ever want to get married. I don't! 96 00:09:04,737 --> 00:09:05,931 I do. 97 00:09:07,773 --> 00:09:08,705 By the power vested in me... 98 00:09:10,076 --> 00:09:14,103 ...by Allah and the state of Nevada... 99 00:09:14,780 --> 00:09:16,611 ...I now pronounce you... 100 00:09:16,849 --> 00:09:19,215 ...husband and... 101 00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:25,680 ...wife, my friends. 102 00:09:26,025 --> 00:09:27,356 Okay, love her tender. 103 00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:29,425 love her tenders. Please. 104 00:09:30,096 --> 00:09:31,427 Rock the jailhouse. 105 00:09:34,233 --> 00:09:37,396 Every single woman, come to the centre of the aisle... 106 00:09:37,603 --> 00:09:39,969 ...so you can catch the flower bouquets.... 107 00:09:40,206 --> 00:09:42,265 - All the single ladies. - Where are you going? 108 00:09:42,475 --> 00:09:43,772 - Let's go, please. - Sit down. 109 00:09:44,043 --> 00:09:45,943 Thank you very much. 110 00:09:55,621 --> 00:09:58,852 You went down, my man! Down like a 2-dollar hooker! 111 00:09:59,058 --> 00:10:00,821 Boom! You're out! You suck! 112 00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:02,493 Tricia's great, though. 113 00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:05,959 No, I'll tell you who's great. Jan here is great. 114 00:10:08,134 --> 00:10:10,466 What's our bachelor pool up to now? 115 00:10:10,669 --> 00:10:13,832 As of Friday, about 475. 116 00:10:14,073 --> 00:10:16,268 Man, that's half a million bucks! 117 00:10:17,009 --> 00:10:21,105 Can our man Jan pick IPOs or what? I'm wet. I'm, like, wet. 118 00:10:21,347 --> 00:10:24,145 Don't you sometimes wish you could fuck money? 119 00:10:24,917 --> 00:10:27,613 Weddings bring out the romantic in you, Kyle. 120 00:10:27,853 --> 00:10:30,083 Kyle, don't you have enough money already? 121 00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:34,324 You can never have enough money. And you're a fag for saying that. 122 00:10:34,527 --> 00:10:36,995 - No offense, Gary. - Hey, blow me. 123 00:10:39,098 --> 00:10:41,589 Looks like it's just you and me now, buddy. 124 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:45,167 And I'm not the one bringing chicks who catch bouquets. 125 00:10:51,944 --> 00:10:54,139 I can't believe we're doing this again. 126 00:10:54,346 --> 00:10:55,870 How many times can we do it? 127 00:10:56,115 --> 00:10:58,606 - You're going down. - You're unquenchable. I'll pass out. 128 00:10:58,817 --> 00:11:02,617 Here it comes. Here it comes. 129 00:11:12,331 --> 00:11:13,889 You lose. 130 00:11:14,166 --> 00:11:16,896 - Take off your pants. - Oh, no. I Lose again! 131 00:11:17,136 --> 00:11:19,900 Oh, God, I hate losing. 132 00:11:20,172 --> 00:11:22,163 Hurry, before he says it again. 133 00:11:22,374 --> 00:11:27,038 No, no, no. No more drinking. No more drinking. You win. 134 00:11:27,246 --> 00:11:28,713 You win. 135 00:11:28,914 --> 00:11:31,439 I win? Oh, yeah? 136 00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:33,982 Well, good. Then I'm collecting. 137 00:11:37,523 --> 00:11:40,583 Come on. I want to be dangerous. 138 00:11:40,859 --> 00:11:42,053 Where we going? 139 00:11:42,294 --> 00:11:43,522 Where are we going? 140 00:11:53,706 --> 00:11:55,401 Say it, Michael. 141 00:11:56,609 --> 00:11:57,598 Say it? 142 00:11:58,077 --> 00:12:00,204 I won't do it unless you say it. 143 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:04,046 I'm sorry. I'm having a little bit of trouble concentrating here. 144 00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:06,115 What is it exactly you want me to say? 145 00:12:06,852 --> 00:12:08,012 You know. 146 00:12:08,587 --> 00:12:10,179 Those three... 147 00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:11,883 ...Little... 148 00:12:12,691 --> 00:12:13,749 ...words. 149 00:12:13,959 --> 00:12:15,256 Those three Little words. 150 00:12:16,428 --> 00:12:18,862 Those three Little words. 151 00:12:22,735 --> 00:12:24,396 Hold on a minute. 152 00:12:24,603 --> 00:12:26,070 What? What's wrong? 153 00:12:27,773 --> 00:12:31,038 I'm sorry. I'm going to have to ask you to leave. 154 00:12:31,310 --> 00:12:33,175 Why are you acting like this? 155 00:12:33,379 --> 00:12:36,746 - You are the one who's rushing things. - Rushing what? 156 00:12:36,949 --> 00:12:39,281 Shelby, I Like you. I Like you a lot. 157 00:12:39,485 --> 00:12:42,420 But things are just moving a Little too fast. 158 00:12:43,455 --> 00:12:46,982 I'm just not ready to say, "I love you". 159 00:12:47,493 --> 00:12:50,155 What makes you think I want you to say, "I love you"? 160 00:12:50,396 --> 00:12:53,058 Oh, come on. Back there. 161 00:12:53,265 --> 00:12:56,666 You wouldn't do it because I wouldn't say those three Little words. 162 00:12:58,937 --> 00:13:01,235 You colossal moron. 163 00:13:02,174 --> 00:13:06,304 "Suck...my...cock". 164 00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:12,448 Suck my cock. Suck my cock! 165 00:13:12,685 --> 00:13:16,917 Oh, suck my cock! Suck my cock! Suck my cock! Suck my cock. 166 00:13:21,093 --> 00:13:26,087 That was great. You put your shoes out on the pillow like this. Great. 167 00:13:29,335 --> 00:13:30,666 - Sorry. - Jerk. 168 00:13:30,869 --> 00:13:32,427 I'll catch you later. 169 00:13:36,875 --> 00:13:39,036 What's going on? Who you looking for? 170 00:13:39,278 --> 00:13:41,974 Shelby. She's probably halfway back to L.A. by now. 171 00:13:42,181 --> 00:13:45,014 Oh, boy. What'd you do now? 172 00:13:46,385 --> 00:13:47,647 It's weird. 173 00:13:48,487 --> 00:13:51,650 I thought she wanted me to say, "I love you". I wouldn't lie to get sex. 174 00:13:52,458 --> 00:13:54,722 - You know another way? - I know. I'm an idiot. 175 00:13:55,227 --> 00:13:58,219 Don't worry, buddy. You're at the Hard Rock. 176 00:13:58,464 --> 00:14:02,298 I mean, this place rocks hard. 177 00:14:02,501 --> 00:14:04,162 There's like a million women here. 178 00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:07,571 I cannot believe you and Trish got married, Steve. 179 00:14:08,374 --> 00:14:10,069 Aren't you terrified? 180 00:14:10,275 --> 00:14:11,572 Let me ask you a question: 181 00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:15,109 If you could sleep with any woman, who would it be? 182 00:14:15,314 --> 00:14:17,748 Is this hypothetical? Because my birthday's soon. 183 00:14:17,983 --> 00:14:19,416 Any woman. Hypothetical. 184 00:14:19,618 --> 00:14:20,812 Fictional? 185 00:14:21,420 --> 00:14:23,388 - Not Judy Jetson. - Well, then, I'm out. 186 00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:25,149 Who's yours? 187 00:14:26,158 --> 00:14:27,420 Truth? 188 00:14:27,993 --> 00:14:29,153 Tricia. 189 00:14:29,928 --> 00:14:34,422 If I could fuck any woman in the whole world, it'd be her. 190 00:14:34,767 --> 00:14:36,234 That's why I married her. 191 00:14:37,536 --> 00:14:39,697 I'm glad you didn't write your own vows. 192 00:14:40,038 --> 00:14:43,007 Trish and I have this deep connection, you know? 193 00:14:43,208 --> 00:14:46,609 She understands what I'm feeling without my having to tell her. 194 00:14:47,279 --> 00:14:51,079 It's like I found this huge spiritual side to myself that... 195 00:14:51,950 --> 00:14:53,941 ...I didn't even know existed. 196 00:14:54,286 --> 00:14:56,447 Last week I had sex with twins. 197 00:14:57,923 --> 00:14:58,912 Okay, you win. 198 00:15:02,795 --> 00:15:05,093 Oh, can I get a Heineken? 199 00:15:05,464 --> 00:15:06,556 Thanks. 200 00:15:18,477 --> 00:15:21,469 Forget it, pal. She's only interested in high rollers. 201 00:15:26,785 --> 00:15:29,982 Hard six! Let's go! We need a hard six! We got a shooter! 202 00:15:30,222 --> 00:15:33,123 - Long and hard six. Let's go. - No more bets. 203 00:15:33,325 --> 00:15:36,954 Two trades, go a long way. Here we go, we got a shooter. 204 00:15:37,162 --> 00:15:39,255 - We got a roller! Hard six! - Seven! 205 00:15:40,232 --> 00:15:41,392 That hurt. 206 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:43,996 That hurt. 207 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:06,082 I'm in! We got a shooter! Let's go! I'm in. I'm letting it ride! 208 00:16:06,325 --> 00:16:07,292 No more bets. 209 00:16:07,493 --> 00:16:09,518 Eleven! Winner, winner, chicken dinner. 210 00:16:09,761 --> 00:16:10,693 Craps. 211 00:16:10,929 --> 00:16:14,092 Oh, God, no. No touching! No touching. 212 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,865 That really hurt. 213 00:16:17,970 --> 00:16:19,938 Yes, I'm on a roll! 214 00:16:22,908 --> 00:16:24,170 I need you to come over. 215 00:16:24,376 --> 00:16:27,470 Michael's gone crazy trying to impress some girl. 216 00:16:27,713 --> 00:16:30,705 Come on, baby. I'm on fire. 217 00:16:34,319 --> 00:16:36,981 All right, I'll come down. Color me up, pops. 218 00:16:38,590 --> 00:16:41,024 Your $11.00, sir? 219 00:16:41,293 --> 00:16:42,521 Who's your daddy? 220 00:16:42,728 --> 00:16:43,854 Who's your daddy? 221 00:16:44,663 --> 00:16:45,857 Craps. 222 00:16:46,064 --> 00:16:48,794 No, please, Jesus, kill me now! 223 00:16:49,034 --> 00:16:51,332 Kill me now! Kill me. 224 00:16:55,407 --> 00:16:59,138 Or don't? Let it ride, my credit's good! Credit! 225 00:16:59,344 --> 00:17:00,971 Let's go! Give me these dice! 226 00:17:01,179 --> 00:17:04,205 - What are you doing, buddy? - Rolling the bones. 227 00:17:04,416 --> 00:17:06,509 Steve, Amber. Amber, Steve. 228 00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:09,685 - How far are you down? - I'm not so bad. 229 00:17:10,556 --> 00:17:11,545 Twenty-five five. 230 00:17:11,757 --> 00:17:13,918 - Social security. - Twenty-five thousand? 231 00:17:15,260 --> 00:17:19,390 Listen, buddy. You can't do this. Okay, listen. You can't afford this. 232 00:17:19,598 --> 00:17:21,828 - You have to stop now! - Give me my dice! 233 00:17:22,034 --> 00:17:23,228 Put the dice down. 234 00:17:24,436 --> 00:17:26,336 Stop. Now. 235 00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:34,441 That was close, buddy. I'll quit while I still can. That was close. 236 00:17:38,951 --> 00:17:40,782 - Seven out. - Time out! 237 00:17:41,019 --> 00:17:44,682 Do over! I didn't roll that. I didn't roll that. She rolled. 238 00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:46,915 Come with us, please. 239 00:17:47,125 --> 00:17:50,754 - Let's go. - That's it. No more redheads. Ever. 240 00:17:51,029 --> 00:17:52,690 Fellas, we're closed. 241 00:18:02,841 --> 00:18:05,105 This is the guy, Carlos. 242 00:18:11,717 --> 00:18:12,741 Hi. 243 00:18:13,018 --> 00:18:14,485 I don't think I owe this money. 244 00:18:14,953 --> 00:18:18,081 Really? And why do you say that, Mr. Delaney? 245 00:18:18,290 --> 00:18:22,124 I didn't roll the dice. A lady threw the dice. I don't even know her name. 246 00:18:23,362 --> 00:18:26,593 So this is all just Like a big misunderstanding. 247 00:18:27,532 --> 00:18:30,126 Well, luckily, we have tape. 248 00:18:33,038 --> 00:18:34,005 Ah, see? 249 00:18:34,206 --> 00:18:38,108 That's us. Losers. More losers. 250 00:18:40,779 --> 00:18:43,304 For about $9.95 in the room, you can watch that. 251 00:18:46,118 --> 00:18:47,779 Shame we had to leave that. 252 00:18:47,986 --> 00:18:52,150 A reason to bring back instant replay. I've said that for years. 253 00:18:52,391 --> 00:18:53,824 That has got to hurt you. 254 00:18:54,326 --> 00:18:55,418 Was that Tricia? 255 00:18:55,727 --> 00:18:59,254 The woman you were with at the bar was handling the dice for luck. 256 00:18:59,831 --> 00:19:02,857 You gave them to her, she threw them on the table. 257 00:19:03,068 --> 00:19:05,969 That, Mr. Delaney, is a roll in any casino in town. 258 00:19:06,171 --> 00:19:10,073 Now, I'm sorry. But you owe us 51 ,000 dollars. 259 00:19:10,409 --> 00:19:12,274 - 51 ,000 dollars? - Plus the minibar. 260 00:19:12,477 --> 00:19:15,640 - Can we see that tape? - I don't have 51 ,000 dollars. 261 00:19:15,847 --> 00:19:16,711 I'm a cartoonist. 262 00:19:16,915 --> 00:19:19,679 I do background color for Sunday's "Garfield". 263 00:19:19,885 --> 00:19:21,978 I love your work, but here's what we do: 264 00:19:22,187 --> 00:19:26,920 We're dangerous, quasi-criminal, take-no-shit Vegas types. 265 00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:31,084 So, what does that mean? What are you going to do? Hurt me? 266 00:19:32,097 --> 00:19:34,964 I got into this business to make easy money and... 267 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,760 ...the damn thing is, they hook you in and... 268 00:19:38,036 --> 00:19:41,528 ...then you find yourself doing things you don't really want to be doing... 269 00:19:41,773 --> 00:19:43,764 ...like killing people like you. 270 00:19:44,876 --> 00:19:48,039 And then you start to enjoy it, which is a problem. 271 00:19:48,513 --> 00:19:51,710 I'm kidding. Making a light remark, though probably not to you. 272 00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:53,314 Point is, I will hang you... 273 00:19:53,518 --> 00:19:56,043 ...cut your balls off and put them in your pocket. 274 00:19:56,288 --> 00:19:58,085 But not without a lot of Jewish guilt. 275 00:19:58,290 --> 00:20:01,054 You owe me, in one month, 51 ,000 dollars. 276 00:20:01,293 --> 00:20:04,626 And starting now, I will need a daily security deposit. 277 00:20:04,830 --> 00:20:08,288 I think it's important if we go back to that tape with the ladies. 278 00:20:08,967 --> 00:20:10,059 But cheer up. 279 00:20:10,302 --> 00:20:13,863 I am going to comp the minibar. 280 00:20:17,275 --> 00:20:18,139 What happened? 281 00:20:18,577 --> 00:20:21,671 - I'm screwed, that's what happened. - All right, where are you? 282 00:20:23,081 --> 00:20:24,571 I just lost 51,000 dollars. 283 00:20:24,816 --> 00:20:27,307 If I don't get it in a month, I'm buzzard feed. 284 00:20:27,853 --> 00:20:28,842 They'll kill me. 285 00:20:29,054 --> 00:20:31,887 Jesus. I wish we could give you the money... 286 00:20:32,090 --> 00:20:34,388 ...but we put our cash into the house. 287 00:20:35,927 --> 00:20:38,760 And we've borrowed against it to set up Steve's practice... 288 00:20:38,997 --> 00:20:42,763 ...which explains why the wedding of my dreams cost $280. 289 00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:45,430 What are you doing? 290 00:20:45,670 --> 00:20:47,570 Have you seen my flip-flops? 291 00:20:50,008 --> 00:20:52,272 You know anybody who'll loan you the money? 292 00:21:00,685 --> 00:21:01,845 No, baby, listen. 293 00:21:02,087 --> 00:21:06,854 If you want us to stop seeing other people, what the hell? Let's try it. 294 00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:11,586 It might help us reach a deeper level of togetherness... 295 00:21:11,797 --> 00:21:13,958 ...and you know, bring us closer together. 296 00:21:14,199 --> 00:21:16,633 Yeah. Okay. Sure. 297 00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:20,526 Yeah, me too. All right, kiss-kiss. Okay, bye. 298 00:21:21,773 --> 00:21:24,469 Your sister is driving me nuts. 299 00:21:24,743 --> 00:21:26,404 Okay, we're here. 300 00:21:28,914 --> 00:21:33,647 What you're going to go for is a nice, smooth stroke. Okay? 301 00:21:33,852 --> 00:21:35,376 Swing back. 302 00:21:36,488 --> 00:21:37,978 - There you go. - How's that? 303 00:21:38,190 --> 00:21:41,091 Okay. Well, we'll keep trying, okay? 304 00:21:41,293 --> 00:21:44,285 Let's work on your form. You'll get it. No problem. 305 00:21:44,496 --> 00:21:46,191 All right, Yoshi. Keep your head down. 306 00:21:46,398 --> 00:21:47,888 Keep your head down. Remember? 307 00:21:48,133 --> 00:21:50,226 Grip and rip, dude. Grip and rip. 308 00:21:53,972 --> 00:21:56,236 - Kyle, what's going on? - Mike? 309 00:21:57,042 --> 00:21:58,737 What are you doing here? 310 00:21:59,010 --> 00:22:01,706 I'm just hitting the links with some of the fellas. 311 00:22:01,913 --> 00:22:02,902 You want a ride? 312 00:22:03,148 --> 00:22:06,549 Sure. Fellas, I'll meet you at the 19th hole for a Heineken. 313 00:22:10,322 --> 00:22:12,722 So you're serious about this girl, huh? 314 00:22:12,924 --> 00:22:16,257 Remember what we said about screwing every woman in the world? 315 00:22:16,494 --> 00:22:20,191 I'm halfway there. One or two chicks at a time. 316 00:22:25,103 --> 00:22:27,833 That's okay. Keep it. I've got more in the bag. 317 00:22:28,039 --> 00:22:29,370 She's nothing to me, dude. 318 00:22:31,076 --> 00:22:33,670 Two things I hate: Chicks who want commitment... 319 00:22:33,879 --> 00:22:36,040 ...and assholes who want to borrow money. 320 00:22:37,883 --> 00:22:40,909 - I'm okay. - We just ran over your girlfriend. 321 00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:42,882 Man, do not say that word. 322 00:22:43,088 --> 00:22:45,215 What did you want to talk to me about? 323 00:22:45,857 --> 00:22:48,451 - I just missed you. - Don't go all faggy on me. 324 00:22:51,696 --> 00:22:55,359 You should see the look on your face. I'm totally kidding, man. 325 00:22:56,034 --> 00:22:59,162 So you've never even come close to falling in love. 326 00:22:59,371 --> 00:23:00,861 No, no, never. 327 00:23:01,373 --> 00:23:02,931 Well, maybe once. 328 00:23:03,141 --> 00:23:05,735 Natalie. She was a bridesmaid at Max's wedding. 329 00:23:05,944 --> 00:23:08,913 She was amazing. l took her to a bluff out in Malibu. 330 00:23:09,114 --> 00:23:10,479 We talked all night. 331 00:23:10,715 --> 00:23:12,945 We made love in the morning at sunrise. 332 00:23:13,151 --> 00:23:16,211 She feel asleep in my arms. It was incredible. 333 00:23:16,554 --> 00:23:19,614 That's quite a story. What happened to her? 334 00:23:19,824 --> 00:23:22,884 I don't know. She could've been the love of my life. 335 00:23:49,321 --> 00:23:52,188 Nice couch, Mikey. Is it leather? 336 00:23:52,757 --> 00:23:54,588 Oh, no way. It's pleather. 337 00:23:55,193 --> 00:23:56,592 Gross. 338 00:23:59,431 --> 00:24:02,127 It'd be easier if you had a front-door key for us. 339 00:24:02,334 --> 00:24:04,666 I'll get right on that. Night, fellas. 340 00:24:12,610 --> 00:24:14,703 Hey, what's up, buddy? 341 00:24:15,113 --> 00:24:17,513 Is Tricia here? I'd like to ask her something. 342 00:24:17,849 --> 00:24:19,339 Yeah, she's upstairs. 343 00:24:19,551 --> 00:24:20,950 Watch that. 344 00:24:21,486 --> 00:24:23,113 I'll take you up there. 345 00:24:25,557 --> 00:24:26,854 - Turn it off! - Shitballs! 346 00:24:27,058 --> 00:24:31,222 - Turn it off! Turn it off! - Goddamn it! Son of a bitch! 347 00:24:32,964 --> 00:24:34,898 She's upstairs with Consuela. 348 00:24:35,467 --> 00:24:37,298 Damn hose. 349 00:24:37,902 --> 00:24:39,870 Must have had a kink in it. 350 00:24:40,071 --> 00:24:41,698 Any luck with the money? 351 00:24:41,906 --> 00:24:44,966 Oh, no. I tried everything. I don't know what to do. 352 00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:57,114 Oh, boy. 353 00:24:57,322 --> 00:24:59,153 Is your blood sugar low again? 354 00:25:01,493 --> 00:25:03,859 I was wondering about a friend of yours, Natalie. 355 00:25:04,062 --> 00:25:05,893 A bridesmaid at your sister's wedding. 356 00:25:06,097 --> 00:25:08,395 Natalie? Steve, offer Michael a beer. 357 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:09,999 - You want a beer? - Yeah. 358 00:25:10,201 --> 00:25:12,032 What do you want with Natalie? 359 00:25:12,270 --> 00:25:16,297 Nothing. I was thinking about her and I thought maybe I'd look her up. 360 00:25:16,508 --> 00:25:17,941 We don't have one clean glass. 361 00:25:18,777 --> 00:25:20,768 We have a full-time maid for chrissakes. 362 00:25:23,782 --> 00:25:25,773 What is it that you do around here? 363 00:25:29,921 --> 00:25:31,513 It's Saturday night, right? 364 00:25:32,223 --> 00:25:33,622 I know exactly where she is. 365 00:25:49,707 --> 00:25:50,799 You Looking for a date? 366 00:25:51,242 --> 00:25:55,042 - You're not my type. - Whatever. You wouldn't be anyway. 367 00:26:16,768 --> 00:26:17,928 What's it gonna be? 368 00:26:18,136 --> 00:26:22,903 I have a proposal for you and it's gonna sound a little strange. 369 00:26:23,341 --> 00:26:24,899 Does it involve sex? 370 00:26:25,143 --> 00:26:28,237 I'd say there'd be a fair amount of sex involved. 371 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:32,780 There will definitely be a house and a ring involved. Maybe even children. 372 00:26:32,984 --> 00:26:34,611 Children? 373 00:26:34,819 --> 00:26:38,983 That'll depend on how far you and this other guy will want to take it. 374 00:26:39,257 --> 00:26:42,920 But, yeah. I'd say kids would be involved. At least a dog. 375 00:26:43,595 --> 00:26:46,996 Children, a dog and another guy. 376 00:26:47,699 --> 00:26:51,100 You're allergic to dogs. How about cats? Maybe a hamster? 377 00:26:52,871 --> 00:26:54,862 Maybe a hamster. 378 00:26:56,474 --> 00:26:59,932 Baby, I got exactly what you need. 379 00:27:00,145 --> 00:27:02,010 Let's go. Over here. Let's go. 380 00:27:03,882 --> 00:27:06,043 You're under arrest, you sick fuck. 381 00:27:08,653 --> 00:27:12,749 I wasn't soliciting prostitution. I swear to God, I wasn't. 382 00:27:12,957 --> 00:27:15,323 You know what they do to pedophiles in the joint? 383 00:27:15,527 --> 00:27:17,927 Not to mention hamster fuckers. 384 00:27:18,129 --> 00:27:21,963 I wasn't Looking for a hooker or a hamster! I was Looking for you. 385 00:27:22,167 --> 00:27:24,135 I was Looking for Natalie Parker. 386 00:27:24,702 --> 00:27:25,964 How do you know her name? 387 00:27:26,304 --> 00:27:29,273 We were at a wedding once, a long time ago. 388 00:27:29,474 --> 00:27:32,910 And you hooked up with a friend of mine, Kyle Brenner. 389 00:27:33,311 --> 00:27:34,573 Doesn't ring any bells. 390 00:27:34,812 --> 00:27:36,712 What do you want with her? 391 00:27:36,915 --> 00:27:40,407 It's stupid. It was a bad idea. Can I please just apologize and go? 392 00:27:41,219 --> 00:27:42,811 I want to hear it. 393 00:27:44,489 --> 00:27:47,549 I go to Vegas. There's this redhead. 394 00:27:47,759 --> 00:27:49,090 I play craps. I lose all my money. 395 00:27:49,327 --> 00:27:50,851 Get to the point, Delaney. 396 00:27:51,563 --> 00:27:53,258 I'm in a lot of trouble. 397 00:27:55,833 --> 00:27:58,097 Some buddies of mine and I have a bet. 398 00:27:58,836 --> 00:28:01,270 Last bachelor standing wins. 399 00:28:02,207 --> 00:28:04,072 The pot is huge. Half a million. 400 00:28:04,275 --> 00:28:08,268 And I need this money. I mean, I really need this money. 401 00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:10,614 I just thought.... It's stupid, but-- 402 00:28:12,183 --> 00:28:14,947 What? You thought what? 403 00:28:15,186 --> 00:28:17,347 I just thought that.... 404 00:28:18,022 --> 00:28:20,752 Kyle talks about you like you were the one that got away. 405 00:28:20,959 --> 00:28:23,325 Like you were his last chance at true love. 406 00:28:23,528 --> 00:28:26,497 I just thought that getting the two of you together... 407 00:28:26,698 --> 00:28:28,097 ...something would rekindle. 408 00:28:28,299 --> 00:28:31,791 You guys would get married and I'd win the money. Everybody wins. 409 00:28:36,741 --> 00:28:40,438 That was the most pathetic fucking shit I have ever heard. 410 00:28:41,045 --> 00:28:43,138 That hamster story was better than that crap. 411 00:28:45,717 --> 00:28:49,949 What made you think I'd agree to it? I don't even remember this guy Karl. 412 00:28:50,154 --> 00:28:52,122 - Kyle. - Whatever. 413 00:28:52,323 --> 00:28:53,881 Kyle Brenner. 414 00:28:54,626 --> 00:28:56,890 You're right. I'm sorry. It was stupid. 415 00:28:57,095 --> 00:28:58,221 I'm sorry. 416 00:28:58,429 --> 00:28:59,726 It's your call, detective. 417 00:29:06,738 --> 00:29:08,205 Cut him loose. 418 00:29:08,406 --> 00:29:10,169 Hi, yes. I'm here. Hi. 419 00:29:10,408 --> 00:29:13,377 I was wondering if I could increase my limit to... 420 00:29:13,578 --> 00:29:16,012 ...I don't know, 51 ,000 dollars. 421 00:29:16,781 --> 00:29:18,578 Yes, yes, I know. 422 00:29:19,617 --> 00:29:20,982 Carlos did? 423 00:29:21,519 --> 00:29:24,852 No. I have no intentions of cutting up my card. 424 00:29:25,089 --> 00:29:28,650 No, do not send someone over to do it for me! 425 00:29:32,263 --> 00:29:34,493 This Carlos runs a very tight ship. 426 00:29:34,999 --> 00:29:37,763 Coming. Let me just throw something on. 427 00:29:37,969 --> 00:29:42,303 Okay. One more sec. Who is it? 428 00:29:45,610 --> 00:29:47,168 I've done some checking. 429 00:29:47,378 --> 00:29:50,575 Kyle's rich. Why don't you ask him for a loan? 430 00:29:50,782 --> 00:29:53,342 I tried. He doesn't lend people money. 431 00:29:55,053 --> 00:29:56,384 How did you find me? 432 00:29:56,621 --> 00:29:59,215 Michael. Cop. Remember? 433 00:30:01,292 --> 00:30:03,487 Some place you got here. 434 00:30:03,861 --> 00:30:05,624 Got anything to drink? 435 00:30:07,065 --> 00:30:11,832 I bet I'm the only guy you know who's had all of his beverages repossessed. 436 00:30:12,303 --> 00:30:14,771 Here. Pour this. 437 00:30:14,972 --> 00:30:16,462 Patr�n. Classy. 438 00:30:16,674 --> 00:30:18,198 What are you wearing? 439 00:30:19,877 --> 00:30:22,675 I was on hold for a very long.... 440 00:30:23,848 --> 00:30:27,648 Anyway, I don't really feel the need to dress up for these repo guys. 441 00:30:30,421 --> 00:30:31,979 I've thought about your idea. 442 00:30:35,526 --> 00:30:36,891 I want to do it. 443 00:30:39,097 --> 00:30:41,588 But we split the bet money 50-50. 444 00:30:41,933 --> 00:30:44,197 Sure. Yeah. 445 00:30:44,569 --> 00:30:46,867 This is great. This is terrific. Actually... 446 00:30:48,239 --> 00:30:49,763 ...there is one little problem. 447 00:30:50,007 --> 00:30:52,976 You kind of have to marry Kyle... 448 00:30:53,177 --> 00:30:54,405 ...within 30 days. 449 00:30:54,612 --> 00:30:55,670 No problem. 450 00:30:57,014 --> 00:30:58,845 I want to do to Kyle what he did to me. 451 00:30:59,384 --> 00:31:01,181 What do you mean? You do remember Kyle? 452 00:31:02,353 --> 00:31:03,342 Of course I do. 453 00:31:03,755 --> 00:31:05,950 We hooked up at Max's wedding. 454 00:31:06,958 --> 00:31:09,756 That Little shit told me everything I wanted to hear... 455 00:31:09,961 --> 00:31:12,054 ...and then abandoned me on the PCH... 456 00:31:12,263 --> 00:31:15,130 ...with nothing more than a roll of quarters to call a cab. 457 00:31:21,239 --> 00:31:23,366 Nice memory for a girl's first time? 458 00:31:25,243 --> 00:31:29,304 I was kind of hoping for "love will prevail," but you know what? 459 00:31:29,514 --> 00:31:31,641 Hate will do just fine. 460 00:31:38,589 --> 00:31:42,320 Sorry! Sorry about that. 461 00:31:42,660 --> 00:31:45,561 The first thing we have to do is get to know our prey. 462 00:31:45,763 --> 00:31:49,290 Precisely what kind of girls he likes. 463 00:32:01,479 --> 00:32:05,347 - Be careful. This is expensive. - I'm sorry. It's heavy. 464 00:32:12,023 --> 00:32:14,218 Hand me the night-spectrum spotting scope. 465 00:32:19,831 --> 00:32:21,526 I think we left that in the car. 466 00:32:23,267 --> 00:32:25,667 Then just hand me a pair of binoculars. 467 00:32:33,211 --> 00:32:36,146 Long time no see, Kyle. 468 00:32:37,215 --> 00:32:39,183 The guy has pleather furniture. 469 00:32:40,051 --> 00:32:43,316 What kind of loser has pleather furniture? 470 00:32:44,455 --> 00:32:45,717 Beats me. 471 00:32:49,861 --> 00:32:52,625 A stewardess. How clich�. 472 00:32:52,897 --> 00:32:55,365 Subject likes brunettes. 473 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:59,367 Prefers subservient women in uniform. 474 00:33:01,305 --> 00:33:04,365 Let me see. Quit hogging them. It's my turn. Give me. 475 00:33:07,478 --> 00:33:08,775 This is so cool. 476 00:33:08,980 --> 00:33:10,948 This is better than cable. 477 00:33:11,148 --> 00:33:12,012 Quiet! 478 00:33:13,985 --> 00:33:15,816 God, I never had a stewardess. 479 00:33:16,020 --> 00:33:19,456 I think they're leaving. It'd be cool to get some audio. 480 00:33:19,657 --> 00:33:21,090 We will. Give me five minutes. 481 00:33:28,566 --> 00:33:31,933 My God, this girl is Wonder Woman. 482 00:33:32,904 --> 00:33:36,931 I'm terrified, yet strangely aroused. 483 00:33:37,675 --> 00:33:40,007 Take that robe off. Aren't you hot? 484 00:33:40,244 --> 00:33:42,235 No, no. I'm good, I'm good. 485 00:33:42,947 --> 00:33:45,814 - You guys want to come over tonight? - I can't. I got a date. 486 00:33:46,017 --> 00:33:48,349 With who? That stewardess? 487 00:33:48,753 --> 00:33:50,414 Did I tell you about the stewardess? 488 00:33:51,956 --> 00:33:55,619 Yeah, great tits. I believe you had sex with her. 489 00:33:55,860 --> 00:33:59,159 Yeah. All night long. But this one's better. 490 00:33:59,363 --> 00:34:01,388 - Why is that? - Shoot some sticks. 491 00:34:01,599 --> 00:34:03,692 She's a cosmetics counter girl. 492 00:34:03,901 --> 00:34:07,234 If I ever get married, it'll be to a cosmetics counter girl. 493 00:34:07,438 --> 00:34:10,100 - Why a cosmetics counter girl? - Grill some steaks and.... 494 00:34:10,308 --> 00:34:14,574 They're the perfect woman. They'll always smell good and wear makeup. 495 00:34:14,779 --> 00:34:16,474 They're not too ambitious. 496 00:34:16,714 --> 00:34:19,308 And they won't be a damn feminist bitch... 497 00:34:19,550 --> 00:34:21,780 ...keeps her own name when you marry. 498 00:34:21,986 --> 00:34:24,784 - Like my mother? - Yeah, exactly. 499 00:34:25,590 --> 00:34:26,750 Let's get out of here. 500 00:34:26,958 --> 00:34:29,688 - Mike, you coming along? - No, I'm good. I'm good. 501 00:34:29,894 --> 00:34:32,727 I'll stay and get a good sweat going. 502 00:34:32,930 --> 00:34:35,125 - Take care of yourself. - Yeah. 503 00:34:35,333 --> 00:34:38,268 I'll catch up with you guys. 504 00:34:44,342 --> 00:34:45,832 Gotcha. 505 00:34:56,187 --> 00:34:57,814 This is my favorite group. 506 00:35:03,761 --> 00:35:05,592 You hear that?! Yeah! 507 00:35:05,830 --> 00:35:06,990 It came in stereo. 508 00:35:07,598 --> 00:35:10,032 This is a system. Oh, yeah! 509 00:35:10,534 --> 00:35:14,766 You hear that bass?! Good, right?! You want more?! 510 00:35:15,006 --> 00:35:16,598 Stakeout. 511 00:35:17,308 --> 00:35:18,502 Right. Sorry. 512 00:35:23,814 --> 00:35:25,076 Is that me? 513 00:35:25,483 --> 00:35:28,384 Yeah, but I draw all my friends. 514 00:35:28,586 --> 00:35:30,383 - It is me. Let me see. - No, really. 515 00:35:30,588 --> 00:35:32,579 It's very rough. It's very rough. 516 00:35:32,823 --> 00:35:33,915 Let go. 517 00:35:34,525 --> 00:35:35,583 Thank you. 518 00:35:37,194 --> 00:35:38,991 Nice ass. 519 00:35:40,031 --> 00:35:42,090 These are really good. 520 00:35:43,734 --> 00:35:45,258 Have you ever tried to sell these? 521 00:35:45,703 --> 00:35:48,934 It's pretty hard to start your own comic strip. 522 00:35:50,775 --> 00:35:51,935 There's our boy. 523 00:35:57,181 --> 00:35:59,081 Where is he? Tell me. 524 00:36:00,284 --> 00:36:02,411 Come on back here. I see you. 525 00:36:04,522 --> 00:36:06,922 Jackass. I'll sic the National Guard on you. 526 00:36:07,124 --> 00:36:10,651 Oh, man. I learned my lesson. No more two-story houses. 527 00:36:10,861 --> 00:36:13,762 Subject hates two-story houses. 528 00:36:21,639 --> 00:36:23,766 Here. Got you something. 529 00:36:27,812 --> 00:36:30,178 These will go with my horny devil socks. 530 00:36:31,749 --> 00:36:33,478 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 531 00:36:35,753 --> 00:36:37,653 So, what's our man up to? 532 00:36:37,988 --> 00:36:39,182 Trying on underwear. 533 00:36:41,525 --> 00:36:43,049 So you hungry? 534 00:36:44,095 --> 00:36:46,393 I think I just lost my appetite. 535 00:36:47,098 --> 00:36:48,224 Have some sushi. 536 00:36:48,532 --> 00:36:51,126 Oh, no, no. I don't do sushi. 537 00:36:51,335 --> 00:36:52,461 What? 538 00:36:52,670 --> 00:36:54,968 - I've always hated sushi. - Everybody Likes sushi. 539 00:36:55,172 --> 00:36:56,070 Not me. 540 00:36:56,273 --> 00:36:59,970 All right, you're going to try sushi. Yeah. Try sushi. 541 00:37:00,177 --> 00:37:02,839 - It disgusts me. Really. - Open your mouth. 542 00:37:04,448 --> 00:37:06,109 Toot-toot! Open your mouth. 543 00:37:06,350 --> 00:37:07,681 Good boy. 544 00:37:08,119 --> 00:37:09,677 There you go. 545 00:37:10,221 --> 00:37:11,745 There you go, sport. 546 00:37:14,792 --> 00:37:16,419 You're a fun date, aren't you? 547 00:37:16,727 --> 00:37:17,785 I told you I hate sushi. 548 00:37:18,062 --> 00:37:19,529 I guess so. 549 00:37:19,730 --> 00:37:20,822 This was a good idea. 550 00:37:21,031 --> 00:37:22,089 Yeah, I agree. 551 00:37:22,299 --> 00:37:23,561 You're Looking cute. 552 00:37:23,901 --> 00:37:25,027 You vixen. 553 00:37:29,874 --> 00:37:32,775 Subject likes brunettes. 554 00:37:32,977 --> 00:37:36,970 Prefers subservient women in uniform. 555 00:37:39,884 --> 00:37:43,479 My God, this girl is Wonder Woman. 556 00:37:44,255 --> 00:37:48,248 I'm terrified, yet strangely aroused. 557 00:37:53,063 --> 00:37:56,157 You hear guys talking about having blue balls. 558 00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:59,233 I'll tell you, the last couple of weeks... 559 00:37:59,436 --> 00:38:01,768 ...I fuck and I fuck and I can't get any relief. 560 00:38:01,972 --> 00:38:04,270 Hold on. I gotta take a break. 561 00:38:04,475 --> 00:38:08,002 I ate some raw fish. Please, give me one second. 562 00:38:09,613 --> 00:38:10,739 Do you like it better... 563 00:38:11,182 --> 00:38:15,141 ...when a girl makes the first move on you or when you do? 564 00:38:15,686 --> 00:38:18,746 Dude. Honestly? I don't give a rat's ass. 565 00:38:20,457 --> 00:38:22,357 I guess I Like to be surprised. 566 00:38:22,693 --> 00:38:24,661 What exactly do you mean by surprise? 567 00:38:24,862 --> 00:38:26,625 Oh, dude. Oh, my God. 568 00:38:26,831 --> 00:38:30,494 Last week, I'm doing this girl in the back seat of her daddy's car. 569 00:38:31,035 --> 00:38:34,493 Catholic schoolgirl's uniform. The whole nine yards, man. 570 00:38:34,705 --> 00:38:39,665 She drinks too much. She's sick, so she hangs her head out the window... 571 00:38:39,944 --> 00:38:42,435 ...and just commences to puking. 572 00:38:42,780 --> 00:38:44,304 It's too bad you had to stop. 573 00:38:44,515 --> 00:38:46,210 No, see, I was gonna. 574 00:38:46,884 --> 00:38:49,045 That would have been the right thing. 575 00:38:49,286 --> 00:38:52,517 But the way she was having these contractions. 576 00:38:52,723 --> 00:38:55,419 They were just wrenching down on the old crank. 577 00:38:55,626 --> 00:38:57,355 Oh, God, it felt so great. 578 00:38:57,561 --> 00:38:59,552 Now, that's a surprise. 579 00:39:02,466 --> 00:39:05,230 Hey, my car, my car, my car! 580 00:39:05,436 --> 00:39:07,631 Yeah, I know. It sucks. 581 00:39:07,872 --> 00:39:10,705 Oh, you get that extra key made for the house? 582 00:39:13,711 --> 00:39:14,871 Thanks. 583 00:39:17,047 --> 00:39:19,140 I got to take the phone. Sorry. 584 00:39:19,383 --> 00:39:22,716 I need that phone. That phone is my life. 585 00:39:24,488 --> 00:39:27,821 Michael. Carlos. Give him the phone. 586 00:39:28,158 --> 00:39:29,989 You've got three weeks. 587 00:39:31,128 --> 00:39:32,117 Thanks, buddy. 588 00:39:47,745 --> 00:39:50,236 I'm so glad to see you. 589 00:39:50,748 --> 00:39:53,512 Great, great. All the kids are here. 590 00:39:54,685 --> 00:39:57,745 Hey, how you doing, pal? Come here. 591 00:39:58,188 --> 00:40:01,282 Ling, take your penis out of the tartar sauce. You look great. 592 00:40:01,492 --> 00:40:03,687 Michael, a surprise for you. 593 00:40:03,894 --> 00:40:06,863 Natalie, this is Michael. Michael, this is Natalie. 594 00:40:07,364 --> 00:40:10,424 You probably don't remember, but you two have met. 595 00:40:11,302 --> 00:40:13,202 Michael was an usher at our wedding. 596 00:40:16,206 --> 00:40:18,674 Right, right. I think I remember you. 597 00:40:19,376 --> 00:40:20,536 Doesn't ring a bell. 598 00:40:23,347 --> 00:40:28,307 So, Natalie, you're still single and in law enforcement. How interesting. 599 00:40:28,519 --> 00:40:30,783 Do you have any exciting stories? 600 00:40:31,455 --> 00:40:35,186 Well, Last year I got shot. I shattered my pelvis and I was in-- 601 00:40:35,392 --> 00:40:38,259 Oh, speaking of pelvises, how was the birth, Kelly? 602 00:40:38,462 --> 00:40:39,690 I had to have a C-section. 603 00:40:39,964 --> 00:40:41,727 She only dilated this much. 604 00:40:41,966 --> 00:40:43,365 That happened with Freedom. 605 00:40:43,567 --> 00:40:46,730 Then he came out feet first. Talk about getting ripped. 606 00:40:48,539 --> 00:40:49,665 Ripped. 607 00:40:50,507 --> 00:40:54,102 Nuyen's birth mother birthed in water. Tony and I were in the tub. 608 00:40:54,311 --> 00:40:55,903 Oh, guys. 609 00:40:56,146 --> 00:40:58,944 I was in labor for 26 hours. 610 00:40:59,149 --> 00:41:00,776 Don't you people ever watch TV?! 611 00:41:00,985 --> 00:41:02,714 I know I said no more matchmaking-- 612 00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:05,514 Yes, but Tricia can't help herself. 613 00:41:05,723 --> 00:41:08,487 It's just that you two are perfect for each other. 614 00:41:10,728 --> 00:41:12,093 Kill me, Michael. 615 00:41:12,529 --> 00:41:13,655 Kill me now. 616 00:41:14,598 --> 00:41:17,260 Dill kung pao. Pass the dill kung pao. 617 00:41:45,529 --> 00:41:47,759 What a beautiful baby! 618 00:41:52,102 --> 00:41:54,468 Oh, my God. You won't believe this. 619 00:41:54,805 --> 00:41:57,399 - My water just broke. - Her water.... 620 00:41:57,608 --> 00:41:59,769 What does that mean, her water broke? 621 00:42:00,377 --> 00:42:01,867 What is that, her water? 622 00:42:02,079 --> 00:42:06,982 Oh, God. Oh, God. People, we're going to need a mop in here! 623 00:42:08,385 --> 00:42:12,788 That scene back there freaked you out, huh? Don't you Like kids? 624 00:42:12,990 --> 00:42:16,892 I am not talking to you about kids. Last time, I wound up in handcuffs. 625 00:42:22,433 --> 00:42:26,665 You know the one thing I regret more than losing my money in Las Vegas? 626 00:42:27,171 --> 00:42:28,331 What's that? 627 00:42:29,239 --> 00:42:32,174 I should've asked you out back at Max's wedding. 628 00:42:34,812 --> 00:42:37,645 With that mullet hair you had? 629 00:42:37,848 --> 00:42:39,145 Keep dreaming, buddy. 630 00:42:39,349 --> 00:42:41,579 Nice. Nice. 631 00:42:44,354 --> 00:42:45,514 Why didn't you? 632 00:42:46,924 --> 00:42:49,017 I don't really Like ugly chicks. 633 00:42:59,503 --> 00:43:01,164 Ever play mercy? 634 00:43:04,541 --> 00:43:07,339 Yes. I'll have you know I'm very good at the game. 635 00:43:07,544 --> 00:43:09,671 - Bring it on. - Okay. 636 00:43:10,614 --> 00:43:12,605 - One, two.... - Three. 637 00:43:13,851 --> 00:43:17,048 Oh, yeah. You are going down! 638 00:43:18,722 --> 00:43:20,383 I lose. 639 00:43:29,700 --> 00:43:31,327 I'm sorry. 640 00:43:32,035 --> 00:43:33,559 I'm sorry. 641 00:43:35,205 --> 00:43:38,697 - I don't know what came over me. - Freeze, motherfucker! 642 00:43:38,909 --> 00:43:41,571 I am really sorry! I was out of line! 643 00:43:41,812 --> 00:43:42,904 Please don't shoot me! 644 00:43:45,649 --> 00:43:47,173 Bring Kyle to me tomorrow. 645 00:43:47,417 --> 00:43:48,384 Drop cans! 646 00:43:49,820 --> 00:43:50,980 Hands on your head! 647 00:43:51,388 --> 00:43:53,515 You are not falling in love with her. 648 00:43:53,724 --> 00:43:56,352 You're a lady-killer. You're a tomcat. 649 00:43:56,994 --> 00:43:58,427 Take it easy, Mike. 650 00:43:59,329 --> 00:44:02,560 Good night, fellas. Have a safe drive. 651 00:44:12,442 --> 00:44:15,843 I'm confused because I really Like Michael. 652 00:44:16,580 --> 00:44:18,070 And I think he Likes me. 653 00:44:18,282 --> 00:44:20,113 What, you can't tell? 654 00:44:23,020 --> 00:44:25,181 Police! Nobody move, goddamn it! 655 00:44:34,531 --> 00:44:37,694 There was this one moment. It was amazing. 656 00:44:45,876 --> 00:44:47,639 What the fuck does that mean? 657 00:45:03,460 --> 00:45:06,861 So you really Like this guy, huh? 658 00:45:07,064 --> 00:45:08,463 I think I'm in love with him. 659 00:45:08,899 --> 00:45:10,298 This is serious. 660 00:45:10,500 --> 00:45:12,661 I know. He has a slick exterior, but... 661 00:45:13,237 --> 00:45:15,467 ...I see a real sweetheart underneath. 662 00:45:19,076 --> 00:45:20,202 Clear. 663 00:45:22,946 --> 00:45:23,970 Clear. 664 00:45:36,526 --> 00:45:38,016 Shit. 665 00:45:38,595 --> 00:45:41,496 Remember the first time we met him at the station?! 666 00:45:41,798 --> 00:45:45,325 He found me because he felt I was Kyle's Last chance for true love. 667 00:45:47,037 --> 00:45:48,868 Can't say that if you don't believe it. 668 00:46:02,853 --> 00:46:04,946 So how do I find out how he feels? 669 00:46:08,392 --> 00:46:09,654 Say you're falling for Kyle. 670 00:46:09,860 --> 00:46:12,454 Don't move or I'll blow your brains out! 671 00:46:13,964 --> 00:46:15,795 He won't believe I'm falling for Kyle. 672 00:46:15,999 --> 00:46:18,092 Oh, he'll believe it. Trust me. 673 00:46:18,302 --> 00:46:19,326 Your partner's right. 674 00:46:19,569 --> 00:46:22,663 Want to get a guy to make a move? Get him competition. 675 00:46:22,906 --> 00:46:24,168 Shut up. 676 00:46:26,076 --> 00:46:27,270 Let me Look at cologne. 677 00:46:27,477 --> 00:46:30,935 Look at this place. There's hot babes everywhere. It smells great. 678 00:46:31,148 --> 00:46:32,274 I ought to move in here. 679 00:46:32,482 --> 00:46:34,040 - Would you watch it? - Sorry. 680 00:46:35,485 --> 00:46:36,645 Excuse us. 681 00:46:41,758 --> 00:46:42,884 Man, this again? 682 00:46:43,093 --> 00:46:46,426 I hate this shade of lipstick. Stays on your dick for a week. 683 00:46:49,599 --> 00:46:52,898 Then you should try our hypoallergenic cleanser. 684 00:46:53,270 --> 00:46:55,761 I think you should try some Visine. 685 00:46:56,340 --> 00:46:57,705 Why do I need Visine? 686 00:46:58,408 --> 00:47:01,104 So you can get a clear vision of our future together. 687 00:47:05,115 --> 00:47:06,844 Do I know you from somewhere? 688 00:47:07,617 --> 00:47:10,245 I don't know. My name is Natalie. 689 00:47:13,623 --> 00:47:15,250 I'm from Van Nuys. 690 00:47:16,460 --> 00:47:17,950 Oh, my God, you're Natalie. 691 00:47:18,462 --> 00:47:19,895 That's what I just said. 692 00:47:21,565 --> 00:47:23,624 Hey, I'm Kyle. 693 00:47:23,934 --> 00:47:25,925 Remember? Max and Kim's wedding. 694 00:47:26,136 --> 00:47:28,468 Malibu? I popped your cherry. 695 00:47:30,540 --> 00:47:33,475 Oh, my God. You Look great. 696 00:47:34,578 --> 00:47:36,478 I'll let you two get reacquainted. 697 00:47:36,713 --> 00:47:39,477 So you're working here. Cosmetics counter girl. 698 00:47:39,683 --> 00:47:42,743 I know it's not very ambitious, but... 699 00:47:42,986 --> 00:47:45,386 ...I'm saving my money for a one-story house. 700 00:47:45,589 --> 00:47:46,715 That's fantastic. 701 00:48:45,382 --> 00:48:48,647 Put your shoes back on. Get out of there. 702 00:48:49,619 --> 00:48:52,110 Here you go. Would you Like to dance? 703 00:48:53,990 --> 00:48:56,185 Oh, yes. Come dance with me. 704 00:48:56,393 --> 00:48:59,726 I love to Lambda. I love to fall feet and turns. 705 00:49:00,464 --> 00:49:01,453 Nice dip, dork. 706 00:49:02,199 --> 00:49:06,158 All right, Natalie. Enough's enough. Tell him you can't stand him. 707 00:49:06,403 --> 00:49:08,894 Tell him it's a scam. You're in love with me. 708 00:49:09,105 --> 00:49:11,335 Where you guys going? Natalie, don't go. 709 00:49:22,185 --> 00:49:24,983 No, no. Get out now. 710 00:49:35,098 --> 00:49:36,827 Night vision. 711 00:49:38,001 --> 00:49:40,834 No, no, Natalie. Get out of there. 712 00:49:41,071 --> 00:49:42,936 There you go. Thats a girl. 713 00:49:44,774 --> 00:49:47,436 No, not the microphone. Not the microphone. 714 00:49:49,846 --> 00:49:51,177 Natalie, get out of there. 715 00:49:52,115 --> 00:49:53,104 Get out. 716 00:49:55,018 --> 00:49:56,883 I'm blind. 717 00:49:57,087 --> 00:50:01,387 You Like it with the lights on? Baby, come on. Ride the pony. 718 00:50:01,591 --> 00:50:03,456 You know you want it. 719 00:50:08,765 --> 00:50:13,134 Natalie, get out of there! Save yourself! It's the dick of death. 720 00:50:13,370 --> 00:50:15,565 Come on, get some of this. 721 00:50:16,306 --> 00:50:17,864 Come on, you Little rodeo gal. 722 00:50:20,544 --> 00:50:22,478 Here's how it's gonna go. 723 00:50:23,079 --> 00:50:24,546 We're not having sex... 724 00:50:25,081 --> 00:50:26,605 ...tonight. 725 00:50:27,250 --> 00:50:31,550 In fact, I don't know when we're going to have sex. 726 00:50:33,723 --> 00:50:35,782 I'm not Like all the other girls. 727 00:50:35,992 --> 00:50:39,723 But I promise you, Kyle, you've never had a girl Like me. 728 00:50:43,500 --> 00:50:45,092 All right. 729 00:50:49,306 --> 00:50:50,330 Ready. 730 00:50:53,510 --> 00:50:55,239 Better take care of that. 731 00:50:58,081 --> 00:51:02,017 This is kind of about me, right? Who'll take care of me better than me? 732 00:51:03,253 --> 00:51:05,153 And you knew that! 733 00:51:05,522 --> 00:51:07,149 We got a future together, baby. 734 00:51:10,927 --> 00:51:14,419 All right. Here we go. 735 00:51:16,700 --> 00:51:20,500 Ooh, I am going to hurt you tonight. 736 00:51:29,179 --> 00:51:31,511 Michael. Yeah, it's me. 737 00:51:31,715 --> 00:51:34,445 - l need you to meet me right away. - Name a place. 738 00:51:34,684 --> 00:51:38,586 Somewhere Kyle would never stumble across us in a million years. 739 00:51:50,533 --> 00:51:52,228 Thanks for meeting me. 740 00:51:53,470 --> 00:51:55,062 - Are you all right? - I'm fine. 741 00:52:01,678 --> 00:52:03,077 I'm falling for Kyle. 742 00:52:06,216 --> 00:52:08,150 He's actually pretty sweet. 743 00:52:08,351 --> 00:52:12,481 Sweet? The guy screws women while they're barfing! 744 00:52:15,158 --> 00:52:17,023 You just don't know him Like I do. 745 00:52:17,260 --> 00:52:20,661 There's another side to him that he doesn't show to everyone. 746 00:52:20,864 --> 00:52:25,233 I've known the guy my whole Life. There's no other side. He's a dick. 747 00:52:25,435 --> 00:52:29,269 - He's afraid to show his sensitivity. - He must be very afraid. 748 00:52:30,674 --> 00:52:33,609 Michael. All my Life, I waited to fall in love. 749 00:52:34,344 --> 00:52:36,437 And now this guy really loves me. 750 00:52:36,946 --> 00:52:38,709 Do you know what that's Like? 751 00:52:39,049 --> 00:52:40,380 Do you love anyone? 752 00:52:42,519 --> 00:52:44,111 I guess not. 753 00:52:48,958 --> 00:52:50,516 I better get back. 754 00:52:53,029 --> 00:52:56,931 You won't Let this defeat you. You won't Let this defeat you. 755 00:52:57,133 --> 00:52:59,192 You know why? You know why? 756 00:52:59,402 --> 00:53:03,532 Because you're the man. Who the man? You the man. You the man. 757 00:53:03,773 --> 00:53:05,900 Now, here's what you'll do. 758 00:53:06,109 --> 00:53:09,476 You'll go out there and you'll fuck the first woman you see. 759 00:53:09,713 --> 00:53:12,773 The first woman you see. You are going to be ruthless. 760 00:53:12,982 --> 00:53:16,474 You'll use every Little dirty trick. Every Little manipulation. 761 00:53:16,753 --> 00:53:21,053 Every lie you know! You know why? Because you the man! Now get her. 762 00:53:22,459 --> 00:53:26,793 The first woman you see. The first woman you see. 763 00:53:28,098 --> 00:53:32,262 The second woman you see. The second woman you see. 764 00:53:38,341 --> 00:53:40,901 This is almost too easy. 765 00:53:53,423 --> 00:53:56,586 Where would I bring an overdue book? 766 00:54:02,766 --> 00:54:03,926 I'll take that. 767 00:54:04,134 --> 00:54:07,069 l have always loved books. 768 00:54:07,270 --> 00:54:12,606 And so I started studying library science at Luther College and.... 769 00:54:13,343 --> 00:54:17,541 Oh, I'm sorry. I've been going on and on and on about myself all night. 770 00:54:17,781 --> 00:54:19,180 Oh, this is so embarrassing. 771 00:54:19,449 --> 00:54:24,113 It's such a treat when you meet a woman who's so honest and direct. 772 00:54:25,288 --> 00:54:27,586 - You're making me blush. - You're sweet. 773 00:54:27,791 --> 00:54:30,316 Golly, stop it. 774 00:54:33,830 --> 00:54:35,297 This is me. 775 00:54:38,368 --> 00:54:40,529 It was nice to meet you, Jill. 776 00:54:42,539 --> 00:54:43,563 Oh, thank you. 777 00:54:45,475 --> 00:54:50,071 It was really sweet of you to Let me pick the restaurant out tonight. 778 00:54:50,313 --> 00:54:51,974 Oh, please, I love sushi. 779 00:54:58,721 --> 00:54:59,813 Good night. 780 00:55:00,557 --> 00:55:01,649 Good night. 781 00:55:11,901 --> 00:55:13,835 I was wondering.... 782 00:55:14,037 --> 00:55:16,938 I mean, this isn't how I-- Gosh. 783 00:55:17,173 --> 00:55:18,606 Golly, I'm tongue-tied tonight. 784 00:55:18,875 --> 00:55:19,933 It's okay. You can say it. 785 00:55:21,010 --> 00:55:23,570 Would you Like to come in? 786 00:55:24,214 --> 00:55:27,706 Oh, no, it's way too late. 787 00:55:27,917 --> 00:55:28,542 Okay. 788 00:55:33,690 --> 00:55:36,386 - Nice place. - Thank you. 789 00:55:37,527 --> 00:55:41,361 Four-H ribbons, cool. That's a big cock. 790 00:55:42,932 --> 00:55:44,263 Grammy. 791 00:55:44,467 --> 00:55:46,901 Grammy, hello. 792 00:55:47,103 --> 00:55:50,595 Grammy, I'd Like you to meet my friend Michael. 793 00:55:52,408 --> 00:55:55,969 This is Grammy. She was a librarian too. 794 00:55:57,113 --> 00:55:59,104 Hello, young man. 795 00:55:59,916 --> 00:56:02,441 Would you two kids Like a nightcap? 796 00:56:02,652 --> 00:56:03,619 Sure. 797 00:56:09,492 --> 00:56:14,555 I hope you Like hot butterscotch toddies. They're Jill's favorite. 798 00:56:15,164 --> 00:56:16,756 Mine too. 799 00:56:17,166 --> 00:56:18,292 This is amazing. 800 00:56:18,501 --> 00:56:21,937 It's Like your granddaughter and I are on the same wavelength! 801 00:56:22,138 --> 00:56:23,105 It's spooky! 802 00:56:23,306 --> 00:56:25,570 You want to go upstairs? 803 00:56:28,611 --> 00:56:30,078 Sweet dreams, Grammy. 804 00:56:30,280 --> 00:56:32,111 Night, peanut. 805 00:56:38,288 --> 00:56:40,518 I think I could really care for you. 806 00:56:40,723 --> 00:56:42,588 - Really? - Yeah. 807 00:56:46,062 --> 00:56:47,757 Hold on, one second. 808 00:57:03,813 --> 00:57:06,213 I see the tables have turned. 809 00:57:09,385 --> 00:57:11,216 What are you doing? 810 00:57:11,621 --> 00:57:13,088 Trust me. 811 00:57:23,599 --> 00:57:25,191 Ow! Jesus! 812 00:57:25,401 --> 00:57:26,663 You can take it. 813 00:57:26,903 --> 00:57:29,064 I don't know if I want to take it. 814 00:57:35,378 --> 00:57:37,642 You've been a bad, bad boy. 815 00:57:37,914 --> 00:57:39,711 No, no. I haven't. 816 00:57:39,983 --> 00:57:41,245 I've been a very good boy. 817 00:57:41,484 --> 00:57:44,146 You had an overdue Library book. 818 00:57:48,257 --> 00:57:50,384 This is a Little unexpected. 819 00:57:50,893 --> 00:57:54,420 Call me mistress, you disgusting Little worm. 820 00:57:57,433 --> 00:58:00,561 You said it. We're on the same wavelength. 821 00:58:01,904 --> 00:58:04,964 All that wavelength stuff, to be honest with you... 822 00:58:05,174 --> 00:58:07,233 ...I said that to get you into bed. 823 00:58:07,443 --> 00:58:08,876 That is not very nice. 824 00:58:09,545 --> 00:58:12,139 In fact, that is downright naughty. 825 00:58:12,348 --> 00:58:14,248 I've been a bad boy. Very bad. 826 00:58:14,450 --> 00:58:17,908 I'm sorry. I think I should go home and think about what I've done. 827 00:58:18,121 --> 00:58:23,115 That's right. You should think Long and hard about what you did. 828 00:58:24,694 --> 00:58:26,753 You naughty boy. 829 00:58:30,099 --> 00:58:31,123 What is that? 830 00:58:32,068 --> 00:58:34,195 You piece of slime. 831 00:58:35,204 --> 00:58:36,364 What is this? 832 00:58:36,773 --> 00:58:38,570 Okay! Look at the time. 833 00:58:38,775 --> 00:58:39,935 It's getting Late. 834 00:58:40,143 --> 00:58:41,667 I should be heading home. 835 00:58:41,878 --> 00:58:44,244 It's really way past my bedtime. 836 00:58:45,982 --> 00:58:50,248 I know you'd probably love to have me hang around so you can... 837 00:58:50,486 --> 00:58:52,420 ...beat the ever-living shit out of me! 838 00:58:52,622 --> 00:58:55,785 I really should go home Please Let me go home. 839 00:58:55,992 --> 00:58:57,118 Please, can I go home? 840 00:58:57,326 --> 00:59:00,557 I know about boys Like you. 841 00:59:00,763 --> 00:59:03,061 You don't take books seriously. 842 00:59:03,299 --> 00:59:04,493 Yes, I do. 843 00:59:05,168 --> 00:59:07,329 I take books very seriously. 844 00:59:13,976 --> 00:59:15,739 Meow. 845 00:59:19,449 --> 00:59:21,917 So you don't respect books. 846 00:59:22,118 --> 00:59:22,982 I love books. 847 00:59:23,186 --> 00:59:27,816 You break their bindings. You doodle in their margins. 848 00:59:32,295 --> 00:59:35,696 That's right. You are a doodlebug. 849 00:59:35,898 --> 00:59:37,331 I'm not a doodlebug. 850 00:59:37,667 --> 00:59:42,127 That's what you are. Just a Little, dirty bug. 851 00:59:47,210 --> 00:59:48,541 The Scarlet Letter. 852 00:59:49,212 --> 00:59:53,615 Great inspiration in those pages. It's an excellent choice. 853 00:59:54,650 --> 00:59:58,518 One whack for every day overdue. 854 01:00:09,398 --> 01:00:10,524 I don't know. 855 01:00:10,900 --> 01:00:12,731 I'm just not feeling it. 856 01:00:12,969 --> 01:00:15,961 Something's missing. 857 01:00:17,306 --> 01:00:20,400 Here's Grammy! 858 01:00:26,749 --> 01:00:31,015 That's it. No more redheads. No more redheads, ever. 859 01:00:32,822 --> 01:00:34,050 God! 860 01:00:40,363 --> 01:00:42,888 - You really Like this girl? - Natalie? 861 01:00:43,099 --> 01:00:46,262 Man, I'm telling you. She's the best. 862 01:00:46,502 --> 01:00:48,970 - Isn't it time you moved on? - No way, dude. 863 01:00:49,172 --> 01:00:51,402 This girl really knows how to turn me on. 864 01:00:52,675 --> 01:00:53,903 You find anything down there? 865 01:00:54,110 --> 01:00:55,441 Feel my Left nut. 866 01:00:56,679 --> 01:00:57,976 Are you out of your mind? 867 01:00:58,181 --> 01:01:01,548 No, no, man. It's Like the size of a baseball. 868 01:01:01,951 --> 01:01:04,181 Good for you. I'm not touching it. 869 01:01:04,387 --> 01:01:05,752 This other one's fine. 870 01:01:06,055 --> 01:01:08,717 But this one feels Like a cantaloupe or something. 871 01:01:08,925 --> 01:01:11,393 Must be those blue balls you mentioned. 872 01:01:11,794 --> 01:01:13,489 Feel it. Tell me what you think. 873 01:01:13,696 --> 01:01:16,460 I think I'm about to kick your ass! 874 01:01:16,732 --> 01:01:18,529 Come on. Dude. Mike. 875 01:01:19,869 --> 01:01:21,803 Mike, come on! 876 01:01:22,071 --> 01:01:24,096 A real pal'd feel my balls. 877 01:01:24,307 --> 01:01:26,502 We were showering. And I looked down... 878 01:01:26,709 --> 01:01:29,701 ...and my Left nut is the size of an Easter egg. 879 01:01:29,946 --> 01:01:31,880 What do you want me to do about it? 880 01:01:32,081 --> 01:01:34,140 I want your professional opinion. 881 01:01:34,383 --> 01:01:36,044 You want me to grope your balls? 882 01:01:36,252 --> 01:01:38,220 Just the Left one. Mike wouldn't do it. 883 01:01:38,421 --> 01:01:41,288 Come on, you're a doctor. Feel his balls. 884 01:01:41,490 --> 01:01:44,323 I'm a proctologist, not a urologist. 885 01:01:44,560 --> 01:01:47,461 You'll jam your fingers up his ass but won't touch his balls? 886 01:01:47,663 --> 01:01:51,463 - They're two different things! - You went to medical school. 887 01:01:51,667 --> 01:01:54,033 All right! Slow down! Slow down! 888 01:01:55,972 --> 01:01:56,939 I'll do it. 889 01:01:57,673 --> 01:01:58,662 Thanks. 890 01:01:59,408 --> 01:02:01,239 I need my nurse present. 891 01:02:02,445 --> 01:02:05,312 Shirley, have my nurse come in here, please? 892 01:02:05,514 --> 01:02:07,072 She's in room 12 with your wife. 893 01:02:07,283 --> 01:02:10,719 They've been back there for about a half an hour, at least. 894 01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:12,854 Ah, shitballs! 895 01:02:14,257 --> 01:02:15,849 Harder. Do it harder. 896 01:02:19,595 --> 01:02:20,994 I finally caught you, you dirty-- 897 01:02:25,868 --> 01:02:29,861 Steve, you finish that sentence, and I swear to God I'll call a lawyer. 898 01:02:37,713 --> 01:02:39,271 We better go with two on this one. 899 01:02:49,058 --> 01:02:50,685 Jesus. 900 01:02:51,193 --> 01:02:52,990 This is huge. 901 01:02:53,729 --> 01:02:55,629 Like a kumquat. 902 01:02:56,532 --> 01:02:57,965 What does it mean? 903 01:02:58,868 --> 01:03:00,233 Beats me. 904 01:03:02,071 --> 01:03:04,972 I won't beat around the dance floor, Mr. Brenner. 905 01:03:05,408 --> 01:03:06,739 It's cancer. 906 01:03:07,910 --> 01:03:09,741 Oh, Jesus. 907 01:03:11,414 --> 01:03:13,006 It's only in the one testicle. 908 01:03:13,316 --> 01:03:15,910 We'll run more tests after we remove it. 909 01:03:17,253 --> 01:03:20,381 - You mean, remove the cancer? - No, Mr. Brenner. 910 01:03:20,589 --> 01:03:22,022 I mean, remove the testicle. 911 01:03:22,224 --> 01:03:25,159 If I don't remove it, you could die. 912 01:03:26,095 --> 01:03:28,893 How painful a death are we talking about? 913 01:03:30,499 --> 01:03:32,091 Let me give it to you straight. 914 01:03:33,069 --> 01:03:38,063 The affected region is too close to the spine to give you any anesthesia. 915 01:03:38,274 --> 01:03:42,005 So we plan to make a gash in the abdomen. 916 01:03:42,511 --> 01:03:47,039 Reach down, yank the scrotum up into the abdominal cavity... 917 01:03:47,249 --> 01:03:49,774 ...and saw off the testicle. 918 01:03:52,388 --> 01:03:54,219 There's a 40 percent chance... 919 01:03:54,423 --> 01:03:57,415 ...we're going to have to amputate the penis. 920 01:03:57,626 --> 01:03:58,684 Oh, God! 921 01:04:02,264 --> 01:04:03,925 Had you going. 922 01:04:04,400 --> 01:04:07,301 That is why I love this job. 923 01:04:07,570 --> 01:04:10,403 It's painless. The procedure takes about an hour. 924 01:04:11,073 --> 01:04:14,565 Okay. So will I still be able to...? 925 01:04:14,810 --> 01:04:17,176 - You know? - Play the trombone? 926 01:04:17,380 --> 01:04:20,941 No, I mean, with girls. Will I--? Can I still...? 927 01:04:21,150 --> 01:04:25,143 Oh, ride the one-eyed hoagie. Of course you can, son. 928 01:04:25,921 --> 01:04:29,857 However, I recommend to most of my patients before this procedure... 929 01:04:30,059 --> 01:04:32,960 ...that they make a deposit in the sperm bank... 930 01:04:33,162 --> 01:04:35,528 ...before the operation, just in case. 931 01:04:35,731 --> 01:04:37,198 Just go on over, you know... 932 01:04:37,400 --> 01:04:38,924 ...give her a whack. 933 01:04:40,169 --> 01:04:41,659 I don't want to do this. 934 01:04:41,904 --> 01:04:44,134 I'm not asking you to go in the room with me. 935 01:04:44,340 --> 01:04:46,604 If you do it too, I'll be more comfortable. 936 01:04:46,809 --> 01:04:50,802 I mean, Look at this place. It's completely professional, right? 937 01:04:51,313 --> 01:04:54,339 We're here to make a deposit. 938 01:04:54,650 --> 01:04:56,140 I really don't want to do this. 939 01:04:56,352 --> 01:04:58,616 Sign these forms. 940 01:04:58,921 --> 01:05:01,754 And fill these bottles. 941 01:05:02,124 --> 01:05:05,525 So if I run into trouble back there... 942 01:05:06,295 --> 01:05:07,694 ...you'll give me a hand? 943 01:05:07,930 --> 01:05:09,363 Never heard that one before. 944 01:05:09,865 --> 01:05:12,265 You're in room seven, and you're in room nine. 945 01:05:59,381 --> 01:06:00,473 Come on. 946 01:06:12,061 --> 01:06:15,155 Oh, Michael, you're the greatest. 947 01:07:03,445 --> 01:07:04,275 Here you go. 948 01:07:12,621 --> 01:07:13,815 Dude. 949 01:07:26,468 --> 01:07:27,730 Dude! 950 01:07:41,684 --> 01:07:44,152 I brought you a plant. 951 01:07:45,521 --> 01:07:47,512 Oh, dude. Don't make me laugh. 952 01:07:47,957 --> 01:07:50,289 Has Natalie been here all night? 953 01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:52,850 She never Left my side. 954 01:07:53,128 --> 01:07:57,963 She says this happened because I've got too much karma in my genitals. 955 01:07:58,167 --> 01:08:00,328 - How was it? - It was all right. 956 01:08:00,536 --> 01:08:03,334 Doc says the other rocket launcher's good, so.... 957 01:08:07,343 --> 01:08:09,208 Come here. Come here. 958 01:08:09,712 --> 01:08:10,770 Come here. 959 01:08:16,318 --> 01:08:17,876 I want my ball. 960 01:08:18,787 --> 01:08:22,553 Kyle, I understand that, but Look on the bright side. 961 01:08:22,791 --> 01:08:25,521 - You still have one healthy one. - You don't understand. 962 01:08:25,728 --> 01:08:29,858 I want to take it home with me, and the nurses said I can't do that. 963 01:08:30,666 --> 01:08:32,031 It's not a tooth, Kyle. 964 01:08:32,234 --> 01:08:35,499 It belongs to me. I miss it. 965 01:08:36,639 --> 01:08:38,630 Please. Get my nut. 966 01:08:57,259 --> 01:08:59,159 It fell right on the floor. 967 01:08:59,361 --> 01:09:02,762 - What? The kidney? - Slipped from my hand, how embarrassing. 968 01:09:02,998 --> 01:09:05,057 Mertle kicks it, it rolls under the O.R. table... 969 01:09:05,267 --> 01:09:07,326 ...slides across the room. 970 01:09:39,368 --> 01:09:41,302 I can't believe I'm doing this. 971 01:10:01,223 --> 01:10:03,123 Okay, come on. Come to papa. 972 01:10:03,592 --> 01:10:06,823 Slippery Little guy. Got you. 973 01:10:14,737 --> 01:10:18,730 I got to put this in something. Got to find something to put this in. 974 01:10:21,410 --> 01:10:24,345 Where'd it go? Where'd you go? 975 01:10:26,315 --> 01:10:27,612 Where'd you... 976 01:10:28,183 --> 01:10:29,582 ...go? 977 01:10:37,159 --> 01:10:38,148 You can't be in here. 978 01:11:35,150 --> 01:11:36,845 Hold the sticky buns. Give me these. 979 01:11:37,052 --> 01:11:39,384 - Stand in Line. - Give them to me. 980 01:11:40,055 --> 01:11:41,647 You have to... 981 01:11:42,191 --> 01:11:43,158 ...stand... 982 01:11:43,926 --> 01:11:44,756 ...in... 983 01:11:45,727 --> 01:11:46,557 ...Line! 984 01:11:53,268 --> 01:11:54,735 Doctor! 985 01:11:55,204 --> 01:11:56,603 Do not eat that! 986 01:12:21,597 --> 01:12:22,621 Did you get it? 987 01:12:23,565 --> 01:12:25,795 Yep. I got it. 988 01:12:27,035 --> 01:12:29,629 Wow. So that's what a nut looks like? 989 01:12:31,974 --> 01:12:33,407 That's a nut. 990 01:12:35,277 --> 01:12:37,438 Thanks, Mike. You're a lifesaver. 991 01:12:38,113 --> 01:12:39,705 I appreciate it. 992 01:12:40,082 --> 01:12:44,746 Remember our deal, banging every girl in the world? That's on you now, pal. 993 01:12:45,721 --> 01:12:47,313 I'll get right on that. 994 01:12:55,230 --> 01:12:56,595 Call me. 995 01:13:00,502 --> 01:13:02,732 Don't get too comfortable. 996 01:13:04,806 --> 01:13:06,899 You have got to wait your turn. 997 01:13:07,109 --> 01:13:08,940 Hurry up, Michael, I'm next. 998 01:13:09,144 --> 01:13:12,636 - Give me a couple of minutes of rest. - Kyle doesn't take this Long. 999 01:13:12,848 --> 01:13:14,816 Two, three minutes and he's always done. 1000 01:13:15,017 --> 01:13:17,645 Hurry if you want to get every woman in the world. 1001 01:13:17,853 --> 01:13:21,584 Please, Let me shut my eyes, for like, literally 30 seconds... 1002 01:13:21,790 --> 01:13:24,122 ...and then just a Little sandwich. 1003 01:13:48,617 --> 01:13:51,051 Michael. It's Carlos. 1004 01:13:51,286 --> 01:13:54,016 I know you got three days and 14 hours to go... 1005 01:13:54,222 --> 01:13:57,020 ...but since you've run out of shit for me to take... 1006 01:13:57,225 --> 01:14:01,218 ...l remind you, if you don't pay, you die. 1007 01:14:01,430 --> 01:14:02,897 No problem. I'll have it. 1008 01:14:03,131 --> 01:14:07,898 You're as bad a liar as you are a gambler, Mr. Delaney. See you Friday. 1009 01:14:15,010 --> 01:14:16,341 How's it going, man? 1010 01:14:21,350 --> 01:14:23,113 I'm just kidding, man. 1011 01:14:23,585 --> 01:14:24,574 I'm all better. 1012 01:14:25,053 --> 01:14:28,250 I'm fine. I bring this everywhere I go. 1013 01:14:28,590 --> 01:14:29,784 Thanks to you. 1014 01:14:30,025 --> 01:14:33,859 Thanks for showing up today. I really wanted you to be here. 1015 01:14:34,062 --> 01:14:35,359 Here for what? 1016 01:14:36,298 --> 01:14:39,290 You're busted, Mike. Natalie told me what you did. 1017 01:14:39,501 --> 01:14:40,468 She what? 1018 01:14:40,702 --> 01:14:42,795 How you found her. I can't believe it. 1019 01:14:43,705 --> 01:14:44,763 Kyle, I am so sorry. 1020 01:14:44,973 --> 01:14:48,568 You tracked her down after hearing my story to see if we'd fit. 1021 01:14:50,112 --> 01:14:51,079 Who does that? 1022 01:14:51,646 --> 01:14:53,443 Thank you. You're the best, pal. 1023 01:14:55,784 --> 01:14:57,581 She tell you she's a cop? 1024 01:14:57,786 --> 01:15:01,381 That whole cosmetics counter thing? That was an undercover gig. 1025 01:15:01,590 --> 01:15:02,989 Very clever. 1026 01:15:06,228 --> 01:15:07,252 Thank you. 1027 01:15:08,830 --> 01:15:09,956 You know what? 1028 01:15:11,333 --> 01:15:14,097 When death has Literally got you by the balls... 1029 01:15:14,302 --> 01:15:17,499 ...everything you've been afraid of suddenly seems unimportant. 1030 01:15:17,739 --> 01:15:19,832 There are things that I can do now... 1031 01:15:20,342 --> 01:15:22,936 ...that I never could do before. 1032 01:15:23,979 --> 01:15:24,968 For instance: 1033 01:15:28,150 --> 01:15:29,412 Officer Natalie Parker... 1034 01:15:29,951 --> 01:15:32,419 ...I have been arrested by your beauty. 1035 01:15:32,687 --> 01:15:34,985 And I'd love to serve a Life sentence... 1036 01:15:35,857 --> 01:15:37,916 ...in the jail of your heart. 1037 01:15:39,261 --> 01:15:41,024 Oh, my God. 1038 01:15:43,265 --> 01:15:44,630 Yes. 1039 01:15:45,434 --> 01:15:47,334 Of course I'll marry you, Kyle. 1040 01:15:53,442 --> 01:15:58,004 I can't believe it. I've delivered Natalie right into the devil's lair. 1041 01:15:58,814 --> 01:16:01,749 I finally feel I can have something real with someone. 1042 01:16:01,950 --> 01:16:06,649 You know, something solid. Built on trust. Like what you and Tricia have. 1043 01:16:11,126 --> 01:16:13,526 Now she's going to go off and marry him. 1044 01:16:14,129 --> 01:16:16,393 Step up, man. Tell her how you feel. 1045 01:16:16,631 --> 01:16:18,292 Tell her you love her, you puss. 1046 01:16:18,500 --> 01:16:20,730 Have you been listening? She loves Kyle. 1047 01:16:21,470 --> 01:16:22,903 Steve, it's so weird. 1048 01:16:24,239 --> 01:16:25,831 For the first time in my Life... 1049 01:16:26,341 --> 01:16:29,401 ...someone else matters more to me than... 1050 01:16:29,811 --> 01:16:31,073 ...I matter to myself. 1051 01:16:31,313 --> 01:16:34,749 Well, you changed after all that shit you went through. 1052 01:16:35,350 --> 01:16:38,148 I'm exercising. People change. 1053 01:16:38,653 --> 01:16:41,383 You know what? Maybe Kyle has changed too. 1054 01:16:41,590 --> 01:16:44,991 All he went through. Maybe he's a changed man now. 1055 01:16:46,027 --> 01:16:48,154 Oh, yeah, baby! 1056 01:16:49,364 --> 01:16:52,333 All right! Ooh, give it to me. 1057 01:16:54,002 --> 01:16:55,902 I'll be right back, baby. 1058 01:16:57,839 --> 01:17:00,171 What's up, having fun? 1059 01:17:02,077 --> 01:17:03,510 Calm down! 1060 01:17:06,181 --> 01:17:08,240 How rocking is this? 1061 01:17:12,521 --> 01:17:16,514 What's the matter? You're not having a good time, buddy? 1062 01:17:17,626 --> 01:17:20,686 Get a load of some of these women. They're amazing. 1063 01:17:20,896 --> 01:17:23,126 You see that one there? In the blue? 1064 01:17:24,299 --> 01:17:27,860 You wouldn't believe what she can do with Ping-Pong balls. 1065 01:17:28,069 --> 01:17:29,366 It is showtime! 1066 01:17:30,405 --> 01:17:32,305 Come on, come on! 1067 01:17:35,977 --> 01:17:37,376 Mike, did you see this? 1068 01:17:37,579 --> 01:17:40,446 Yo, Cherry, come here! Come here, Cherry. 1069 01:17:40,715 --> 01:17:44,048 Hey, sit down. This is Michael. And she's a student. 1070 01:17:44,653 --> 01:17:46,883 Right now I'm concentrating on my actressing. 1071 01:17:47,455 --> 01:17:49,446 Come over here, Cherry. 1072 01:17:50,058 --> 01:17:52,219 You sexy Little actress thing, you. 1073 01:17:52,460 --> 01:17:56,419 - How about we go in the bedroom? - Can I bring a friend? 1074 01:17:57,165 --> 01:17:59,793 It's my bachelor party. The more, the merrier. 1075 01:18:00,168 --> 01:18:02,227 Oh, hello there! 1076 01:18:04,372 --> 01:18:05,339 You're cool with this? 1077 01:18:05,540 --> 01:18:09,169 Everybody's entitled to a Last hurrah. 1078 01:18:10,345 --> 01:18:14,213 You want to go in the bedroom and start warming up without me? 1079 01:18:14,416 --> 01:18:15,974 I'll be there in a minute. 1080 01:18:19,254 --> 01:18:20,186 Thank you. 1081 01:18:20,855 --> 01:18:22,823 What do you mean, "Last hurrah"? 1082 01:18:23,091 --> 01:18:27,425 I just figure you're getting married tomorrow morning at 9:00 a.m. 1083 01:18:27,629 --> 01:18:31,531 You know, you're entitled one Last dip in the bachelor pool. 1084 01:18:34,970 --> 01:18:38,133 You're funny. You're hysterical, man. 1085 01:18:39,541 --> 01:18:41,270 You're joking, right? 1086 01:18:41,476 --> 01:18:45,207 - I thought you loved her. - love's got nothing to do with it. 1087 01:18:51,019 --> 01:18:53,715 Natalie will be a great baby-maker. 1088 01:18:53,955 --> 01:18:55,946 I could still sleep around. 1089 01:18:56,157 --> 01:18:59,388 She'll be at home with the kids. She'll never know. 1090 01:19:00,795 --> 01:19:02,228 Hey, girls! What's up? 1091 01:19:03,898 --> 01:19:07,527 I thought you were going to go warm up in bed without me. 1092 01:19:15,644 --> 01:19:17,635 You did it, man. 1093 01:19:18,580 --> 01:19:20,741 You won the bet, man! 1094 01:19:21,916 --> 01:19:23,076 You'll be rich. 1095 01:19:23,385 --> 01:19:27,685 Tomorrow morning at 9, you're gonna be rich. 1096 01:19:27,889 --> 01:19:29,083 Rich! 1097 01:19:31,426 --> 01:19:34,327 No, Steve. No, I'm not. 1098 01:19:34,729 --> 01:19:36,754 I have got a wedding to stop! 1099 01:19:51,379 --> 01:19:54,314 I cannot believe you Let Kyle plan this wedding. 1100 01:19:54,516 --> 01:19:55,608 It doesn't matter. 1101 01:19:56,051 --> 01:19:57,678 You're going through with this? 1102 01:19:59,120 --> 01:20:02,351 Hey. Look at me. Do I Look amazing or what? 1103 01:20:03,124 --> 01:20:06,924 We're in luck. My uncle Murray's performing the ceremonies. 1104 01:20:07,128 --> 01:20:08,117 He's my hero. 1105 01:20:08,363 --> 01:20:10,831 And the witnesses sign in triplicate. 1106 01:20:11,032 --> 01:20:13,000 That's three, tres, trois... 1107 01:20:13,201 --> 01:20:14,463 ...and then... 1108 01:20:14,703 --> 01:20:18,605 ...I stamp a Little, I notarize, I file it. 1109 01:20:18,807 --> 01:20:20,536 Voil�. 1110 01:20:22,277 --> 01:20:24,973 Can't you just feel the romance? 1111 01:20:34,956 --> 01:20:36,321 Oh, no. Oh, no! 1112 01:20:36,591 --> 01:20:37,956 No! 1113 01:20:41,496 --> 01:20:44,795 Where are my clothes? Where are my clothes?! 1114 01:20:45,333 --> 01:20:47,631 Clothes. Where are my clothes? 1115 01:20:50,004 --> 01:20:53,770 Excuse me, ma'am? Ma'am? Excuse me, ma'am. Please get up. 1116 01:20:54,042 --> 01:20:55,566 Have you seen a pair of pants? 1117 01:20:57,379 --> 01:21:00,246 I'm gonna borrow your jacket, okay? There we go. 1118 01:21:00,482 --> 01:21:03,974 Please. Okay. There we go. Okay. Here we go. 1119 01:21:04,252 --> 01:21:07,085 I promise I'll return this, okay? 1120 01:21:11,893 --> 01:21:13,326 Slow down! 1121 01:21:14,162 --> 01:21:15,720 That was close. 1122 01:21:34,616 --> 01:21:36,277 I can't believe this. It's terrible. 1123 01:21:46,761 --> 01:21:50,128 Sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry. 1124 01:21:53,268 --> 01:21:55,793 Fur coat! 1125 01:21:56,971 --> 01:21:58,768 What are you--? Stop it! 1126 01:22:14,088 --> 01:22:15,749 Marriage is a state... 1127 01:22:15,957 --> 01:22:18,892 ...that is not entered into easily. 1128 01:22:19,093 --> 01:22:20,720 It is damn hard, kids. 1129 01:22:20,929 --> 01:22:25,559 It requires dedication and a lot of sacrifices. 1130 01:22:25,767 --> 01:22:28,167 Like for instance, if you have a mother-in-Law... 1131 01:22:28,369 --> 01:22:32,829 ...who figures she can stay over with you whenever she damn pleases! 1132 01:22:33,041 --> 01:22:36,238 She comes in and stays in the toilet for an hour and a half! 1133 01:22:36,444 --> 01:22:38,776 Who reads Warand Peace in the toilet?! 1134 01:22:44,919 --> 01:22:45,908 Mommy! 1135 01:22:46,120 --> 01:22:47,417 I'm a good stranger. It's okay. 1136 01:22:47,622 --> 01:22:48,782 Hey, you! Stop! 1137 01:22:49,023 --> 01:22:50,888 I'm not weird. We were just talking. 1138 01:22:53,528 --> 01:22:57,897 Kyle, do you promise to make love to Natalie... 1139 01:22:58,366 --> 01:23:00,664 ...and only Natalie... 1140 01:23:00,869 --> 01:23:02,860 ...until one of you is dead? 1141 01:23:15,149 --> 01:23:16,639 I wasn't Looking at you. 1142 01:23:17,051 --> 01:23:18,416 Don't do that. 1143 01:23:23,391 --> 01:23:26,258 Be advised, we're Looking for a peeping Tom. 1144 01:23:29,230 --> 01:23:31,460 This guy is really twisted. 1145 01:23:31,666 --> 01:23:33,429 And do you, my handsome nephew... 1146 01:23:33,635 --> 01:23:37,503 ...take Natalie to be your lawful wedded wife... 1147 01:23:37,739 --> 01:23:40,970 ...through the good times and the bad times... 1148 01:23:41,175 --> 01:23:44,838 ...and the times she won't talk to you for months... 1149 01:23:45,146 --> 01:23:47,842 ...and even worse, when she will... 1150 01:23:48,049 --> 01:23:51,917 ...so you pretend you're asleep so she'll leave you alone... 1151 01:23:52,587 --> 01:23:55,852 ...but you Lie there Listening to her grind her teeth... 1152 01:23:56,090 --> 01:23:58,718 ...hour after hour... 1153 01:23:58,927 --> 01:24:01,452 ...Like a fucking hacksaw? 1154 01:24:11,439 --> 01:24:12,599 I made it. 1155 01:24:17,645 --> 01:24:19,112 Nice dress, bonehead! 1156 01:24:19,514 --> 01:24:21,209 Sorry. My mistake. 1157 01:24:31,459 --> 01:24:32,391 Stop the wedding! 1158 01:24:34,529 --> 01:24:35,757 I love you! 1159 01:24:42,503 --> 01:24:45,199 I thought you said you were done with all that. 1160 01:24:45,406 --> 01:24:48,933 It's not Peter. I don't even know who this guy is. 1161 01:25:13,401 --> 01:25:16,734 I'm curious, Mr. Delaney. How did you get the money? 1162 01:25:18,506 --> 01:25:20,667 I guess you could say I sold my soul. 1163 01:25:21,809 --> 01:25:23,071 Yeah, I see a Lot of that. 1164 01:25:48,169 --> 01:25:52,663 Way to go. Marry the best woman in the world and it's not enough for you. 1165 01:25:53,274 --> 01:25:54,434 What? 1166 01:25:54,676 --> 01:25:56,007 You're married?! 1167 01:26:00,915 --> 01:26:03,941 Thanks, asshole. You got something on your nose. 1168 01:26:06,587 --> 01:26:09,715 You were in on it together. Take me for a ride. 1169 01:26:09,924 --> 01:26:13,758 What do you mean? You got it all! Why'd you tap me on the nose? 1170 01:26:14,262 --> 01:26:15,593 You really don't know, do you? 1171 01:26:16,230 --> 01:26:19,529 On our wedding night. I thought everything was fine. 1172 01:26:19,734 --> 01:26:21,668 l was ready to give here hose down. 1173 01:26:21,869 --> 01:26:24,633 Well, hello, Mrs. Brenner. 1174 01:26:24,872 --> 01:26:27,397 Actually, I'm gonna keep my own name. 1175 01:26:27,608 --> 01:26:29,132 Yeah, whatever. 1176 01:26:32,280 --> 01:26:35,078 Yeah. A Little of the old bubbly. 1177 01:26:37,218 --> 01:26:39,152 Remember our first time? 1178 01:26:40,054 --> 01:26:43,455 When you Left me out in Malibu with nothing but a roll of quarters? 1179 01:26:43,658 --> 01:26:46,126 Yeah. That was so hot. 1180 01:26:46,594 --> 01:26:48,061 Here's to that. 1181 01:26:59,507 --> 01:27:01,566 Let's swap bodily fluids, baby. 1182 01:27:03,411 --> 01:27:05,777 When I woke up, she was gone. 1183 01:27:06,080 --> 01:27:09,516 The next day, marriage was annulled, she was nowhere to be found. 1184 01:27:09,751 --> 01:27:13,084 Never saw her again. Figured you two had a scam to get the bachelor cash. 1185 01:27:13,287 --> 01:27:16,984 That's cool, though. I'm getting more pussy now than ever. 1186 01:27:17,191 --> 01:27:20,217 Chicks really dig a guy with a broken heart. 1187 01:27:20,428 --> 01:27:22,020 Kyle, I am so sorry. 1188 01:27:22,663 --> 01:27:25,791 I'm kidding. I just play that. You know me. 1189 01:27:26,000 --> 01:27:28,696 I'll be a one-balled babe hound when I'm 80. 1190 01:27:28,903 --> 01:27:31,497 I got a date with a new girl. She's fantastic. 1191 01:27:31,706 --> 01:27:34,072 What, another cosmetics counter girl? 1192 01:27:34,275 --> 01:27:38,336 No, man, no. A Librarian. She's so hot. A Little redheaded girl. 1193 01:27:38,546 --> 01:27:40,309 She gave me this book to read. 1194 01:27:44,485 --> 01:27:46,612 This book will change your Life. 1195 01:27:46,954 --> 01:27:48,285 I gotta go. 1196 01:27:49,957 --> 01:27:52,448 I Like to be spanked with a day-old carrot. 1197 01:27:54,328 --> 01:27:55,556 How much you got? 1198 01:27:56,164 --> 01:27:57,791 Twenty bucks. 1199 01:27:58,132 --> 01:27:59,531 And my own carrot. 1200 01:27:59,734 --> 01:28:01,065 Excuse me. 1201 01:28:03,471 --> 01:28:07,134 I've got a proposal, but it might sound a Little strange. 1202 01:28:08,643 --> 01:28:10,736 The Chinese Theater is this way? 1203 01:28:10,978 --> 01:28:12,809 Thank you very much, ma'am. 1204 01:28:13,548 --> 01:28:15,243 - Where's the carrot? - I got it. 1205 01:28:15,483 --> 01:28:17,246 It's okay. I got it. 1206 01:28:18,653 --> 01:28:20,917 I just wanted to give you this. 1207 01:28:21,422 --> 01:28:22,889 You were there? 1208 01:28:23,324 --> 01:28:26,225 I tried to stop the wedding, but I was Late. 1209 01:28:27,662 --> 01:28:31,223 So, this proposal... 1210 01:28:32,266 --> 01:28:33,597 ...does it involve sex? 1211 01:28:33,901 --> 01:28:37,598 Yeah, I'd say there'd be a fair amount of sex involved. 1212 01:28:37,872 --> 01:28:39,999 Definitely a house and a ring. 1213 01:28:40,274 --> 01:28:42,834 - Maybe even some children. - Children? 1214 01:28:43,110 --> 01:28:46,273 At least a dog. Definitely not a hamster. 1215 01:28:47,181 --> 01:28:48,910 I Like dogs. 1216 01:28:51,018 --> 01:28:54,181 So, what's up, Delaney? 1217 01:28:54,956 --> 01:28:56,287 You love me or something? 1218 01:28:56,557 --> 01:28:57,546 I do. 1219 01:28:58,593 --> 01:29:00,356 I now happily ratify... 1220 01:29:00,561 --> 01:29:03,155 ...your union as husband and wife. 1221 01:29:03,364 --> 01:29:05,264 You may kiss your bride. 1222 01:29:06,968 --> 01:29:08,026 Wait. 1223 01:29:08,703 --> 01:29:11,695 Not until you say those three Little words. 1224 01:29:14,575 --> 01:29:16,873 I'm not falling for that one again. 1225 01:29:18,746 --> 01:29:21,374 Suck my cock. 1226 01:29:25,753 --> 01:29:27,448 Hold it. Hold it. 1227 01:29:27,655 --> 01:29:30,488 How big ofan idiot do you think l am? 1228 01:29:31,425 --> 01:29:32,449 I love you. 1229 01:29:41,802 --> 01:29:45,238 This is fantastic. You're Like a big, bad dominatrix. 1230 01:29:45,439 --> 01:29:48,602 I can't wait to get to this. Show me what you got. 1231 01:29:49,944 --> 01:29:51,309 I don't know. 1232 01:29:51,579 --> 01:29:53,911 I think something's missing. 1233 01:29:54,916 --> 01:29:58,852 Yeah, something's missing, get your butt out of that Little thing. 1234 01:29:59,186 --> 01:30:03,145 You got to do something to me. Let's see what you got. 1235 01:30:22,843 --> 01:30:24,105 Tricia? 1236 01:30:30,851 --> 01:30:32,341 What the hell am I thinking? 1237 01:30:38,225 --> 01:30:40,352 Oh, God, I knew it! 1238 01:30:40,795 --> 01:30:42,228 Oh, how could you? 1239 01:30:42,463 --> 01:30:46,729 Consuela. Kelly. Tricia! 1240 01:30:46,968 --> 01:30:49,198 You're all dirty birdies! 1241 01:30:49,403 --> 01:30:50,631 You want to join us? 1242 01:30:58,312 --> 01:31:02,271 Thank God Almighty! 1243 01:31:06,754 --> 01:31:08,551 Come on, Johnny. 1244 01:31:08,756 --> 01:31:12,055 Oh, yeah, Johnny. Oh, come on. 1245 01:31:14,895 --> 01:31:17,193 If you don't cut, I'm gonna come. 1246 01:31:20,501 --> 01:31:22,696 What is it exactly you want me to say? 1247 01:31:22,937 --> 01:31:24,199 You know... 1248 01:31:24,705 --> 01:31:26,263 ...those three... 1249 01:31:26,774 --> 01:31:28,071 ...Little... 1250 01:31:28,709 --> 01:31:30,006 ...words. 1251 01:31:32,713 --> 01:31:34,613 Okay. I love you. 1252 01:31:35,116 --> 01:31:37,778 I love you, I love you. 1253 01:31:39,954 --> 01:31:42,218 I love you. 1254 01:31:42,623 --> 01:31:44,784 Yeah, baby! 1255 01:31:46,127 --> 01:31:47,355 Hold it, Bob. 1256 01:31:47,695 --> 01:31:51,028 - In unison, turn. Okay? - Two, three. 1257 01:31:52,633 --> 01:31:54,100 I'm sorry. 1258 01:31:56,704 --> 01:31:58,262 I'm sorry. I tried, I tried. 1259 01:31:58,906 --> 01:31:59,873 C mark. 1260 01:32:00,074 --> 01:32:01,234 Action! 1261 01:32:03,110 --> 01:32:05,544 You're under arrest, you sick fuck. 1262 01:32:14,221 --> 01:32:16,815 You should try some Visine. 1263 01:32:17,058 --> 01:32:18,457 Why do I need Visine? 1264 01:32:18,659 --> 01:32:22,060 So you can get a clear future of our vision together. 1265 01:32:26,634 --> 01:32:29,467 Wash my car. 1266 01:32:33,274 --> 01:32:36,004 I mean, I might've fallen in love with her that night. 1267 01:32:36,243 --> 01:32:38,108 What happened to her? 1268 01:32:38,312 --> 01:32:40,644 She might've been the love of my Life. 1269 01:32:43,918 --> 01:32:45,579 Energy and pace. 1270 01:33:03,504 --> 01:33:05,802 What the fuck are you doing? 1271 01:33:07,308 --> 01:33:11,768 I'm experimenting. He said try some stuff. I'm blowing bubbles. 1272 01:33:12,780 --> 01:33:14,213 You're welcome. 1273 01:33:16,817 --> 01:33:19,479 Michael. Oh, call me. 1274 01:33:19,687 --> 01:33:22,520 Okay. I will. 1275 01:33:24,291 --> 01:33:25,952 Don't get too comfortable. 1276 01:33:29,396 --> 01:33:32,388 - You have got to wait your turn. - Hurry up, I'm next. 1277 01:33:32,633 --> 01:33:36,296 Jesus Christ! What the hell is this? 1278 01:33:36,537 --> 01:33:38,630 Oh, my God. 1279 01:33:40,541 --> 01:33:41,735 Cut. 1280 01:33:48,716 --> 01:33:50,013 That's a wrap. 94175