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THE GREAT YAWN HISTORY

- Yes. - Hello.

We have come for a job advertisement.

Why are there so many of you?

Come on in, one by one.

Take your shoes off.

Leave it right there. Go to that first room.

- Hello. - Hello.

Leave it here.

No shoes inside.

My name is Reza Hosseini.

I'm 30 years old and I have a PhD in civil engineering.

I teach Farsi literature.

You plan on changing jobs?

I'm a shopkeeper,

but business has been slow lately,

so when I found that $100 bill, I followed up on the job offer.

What kind of jobs have you had?

I've been a sales manager for a number of companies.

I was also an accountant in Kuwait at some point.

Did it pay well?

It doesn't matter,

I'm down for whatever.

Any job would do. I'm eager to learn.

What were your plans for the bill once you found it?

I wanted to find its owner.

Why didn't you keep it for yourself?

It's haram.

It's haram for me, because it doesn't belong to me.

What do you believe in?

I believe in a lot of things.

Like what?

Karma.

What else do you believe in?

Just God.

Is that all?

Humanity

Being a good person.

You're a good kid.

But you're not cut for this job.

If you don't mind my asking, are you offering a religious job?

No, it's not religious.

Do you believe in miracles?

Miracles?

You do.

Me?

- You do. - They definitely exist.

That'll be all.

Okay then. Should I leave now?

- Thanks for coming in. - Thank you.

Maybe some other time.

For sure.

Do you believe in right and wrong, or helping others and whatnot?

I did, when I was a kid. I no longer do.

I just believe in myself.

We would have to go on a long trip for this job.

Would you be able to come?

A long trip?

I don't know.

I don't think I can come.

Do you believe in anything?

I don't know...

It's the first time I'm being asked about it.

I've never thought about it.

Do you believe in halal and haram?

No.

Tomorrow after dawn.

Meet me at the train station. Bring your personal belongings.

We have to go on a trip.

Yes sir.

Tell your family not to worry about you, because it might be a while.

No, yeah, I will tell them for sure.

They will actually be happy for me starting a job.

I'm sorry sir, can you buy me a toothbrush...

Hello sir, can I bother you to buy me a toothbrush?

I'm sorry, I can't.

Hello ma'am.

I'm sorry, but do you think you could perhaps

buy a toothbrush and some toothpaste for me?

would you like it if I pointed out your weaknesses?!

How you lose your shit when it comes to your daughters and grooms.

Hello.

Give me your things.

That's all?

Yeah.

You have any underwear, clothes, or anything?

I'm fine with just the clothes on my back, sir.

- You'll be cold. - No, I'm good.

You know best.

Don't you have any questions?

Like, where are we going?

What is the job? How much am I getting paid?

I'm down with whatever.

We're going to kill some guy.

There's a lot of money in his house.

Do I have to kill him?

Would you rather just count the money?

But sir,

I don't think I can kill anyone.

Didn't you say you're down for whatever?

- I did, but... - I'm messing with you.

We're going to a cave.

A cave?

Yes. A cave.

You don't know what a cave is?

I do.

We're going to a cave.

I'll sit outside the cave and you'll go in.

Deep inside the cave, there's a box full of gold coins.

You'll grab the gold and come back outside.

You'll take half, and give me the other half.

How does that sound?

Let me see the backpack.

Should I go in, sir?

Don't speak for a minute.

This is not it.

What is not it?

This is not the cave.

- You mean we came to the wrong place? - Yes.

Are we going to another cave then?

Don't ask so many questions.

I'm sorry, ma'am.

Do you think we can find a place to sleep around here? There are two of us.

How much money do you have?

We don't have any money.

- Can you work? - What kind of work?

Right here, on the rice field. I could use a hand.

Can my son do it?

Of course he can.

Okay.

Where can we go?

Go wait by my house, I'll be right over.

Easy.

Not so rough.

Easy there, it's not a wrestling match.

Now you can ask me any questions you may have.

Ask about what?

Earlier, I said don't ask me questions. Now you can.

Is that other cave close by?

I don't know.

What's the story with those coins?

There's no story.

Then why do you insist that I pick them up?

I don't know.

- It's not dangerous? - No.

But sir, you never talked about how you're so certain the coins are there.

That's enough.

I just want to make sure the coins don't belong to anyone to avoid trouble.

Don't be afraid.

I'm not afraid.

I just don't understand.

Sit down.

The story is that I have these dreams...

I'm sorry.

You have allergies?

No. I think it's because of the cigarette smoke.

Maloos.

Maloos?

What kind of dreams, sir?

The sneeze was a sign to wait.

Did you go to sleep?

Does he work well?

Yes, but he's not your son.

He's my assistant.

Assistant for what?

- Are you a doctor? - Why a doctor?

You said he's your assistant, so I asked if you were a doctor.

We are eco-tourists.

Eco-tourists?

We walk around nature.

Is there a cave around here?

- A cave? - Yes.

There's one, but it's hard to get to. You can't pull it off.

We have seen it.

There's another one on the other side, but it's small.

Where?

Go that way, past those fields,

Ask anyone and they'll show you.

Were you ever a livestock breeder?

No.

Were your parents?

No.

What do they do?

They're not in Iran.

Did I ask you where they were?

Where are they then?

Germany.

My sister is in Germany too.

Why didn't you go with them?

I got caught up with work.

Didn't you say you never worked?

Well, I first have to do my conscription, then I can go.

You know why you've never had a job?

- Because I didn't go to school? - No.

Because you have no faith.

What does that mean?

Because if you had asked God for a job, you would've had one by now.

But I didn't ask God and I got this job.

You have this job, because I asked God for it.

Plus, this isn't really a job.

The money will come in easy.

A job means physical labor, sweating.

If you're such a man of faith, why don't you have any jobs?

I've had plenty of jobs.

Hard labor.

I painted buildings. Fixed air conditioners.

But past a certain point, I said I won't ever work again.

I said to myself,

don't I deserve the thing that I don't deserve?

What does that even mean?

It's not this one either.

What do you want to know?

What did you dream?

You ask too many questions, boy.

I have dreams about the gold coins.

- You're making that up. - Believe me, I dream of the coins.

Is this like how on the train ride over

you pulled my legs about having to kill someone?

I swear to my mother's soul that I have dreams about the coins.

I dream that I'm standing in the middle of a cave.

It's not actually me, it's someone else, but it's like I'm seeing myself.

At the far end of the cave, there's a box.

A box full of gold coins.

Dreams can't be counted on.

What if you keep seeing the same dream?

Still.

But I am certain that the coins exist.

I'm certain that they don't.

Ok.

If they didn't, when we go back to Tehran, I will pay you.

Agreed?

How much does that guy pay you?

You know, he's taking advantage of you.

If you work for me, I'll let you stay at this house.

It would be such a waste for you to drift around with him.

I can't stay.

I'm all by myself here, I could really use your help.

Everyone else has migrated, but I don't want to.

Where did everyone else go?

The city, where else?

I want to go with him.

Okay fine, go with him. But then come back here and work and live your life.

- But I'm... - Just think about it. Okay?

Not it.

Shoja?

Shoja!

Where did you go, Shoja?

Shoja.

Shoja.

Where did you go?

What's gotten into you?

- I'll leave you without notice. - What're you talking about?

Did you think that I'm an idiot?

That I would just follow you from one cave to the next?

We've only been to three caves.

You told me we'll go to a cave, I'll go in and grab the coins and we'd be on our way.

So?

- You didn't say there are a 100 caves! - You didn't ask!

- I'm out. - Wait. Wait!

Are you one of those people who get cocky the second someone compliments them?

Are you?

I'm telling you, there's a box full of coins there. A whole box.

Why did you have me follow you? Why can't you go fetch it by yourself?

- Why do you think that is? - Because it's dangerous.

You want me to fetch the coins for you, and then you will run away with them.

You're an idiot. You're wrong.

Why then?

Who said anything about those coins belonging to me?

I've always lived an honest life, but I'm barely staying afloat.

Once those coins enter my life, everything will fall apart.

It's not clear if they're halal or haram.

I told you from the beginning,

you'll grab the coins and then you'll gift me half of them.

So I would be the one sinning.

Didn't you say you don't believe in anything?

But if they're there,

it means that I'm making a mistake about not being a believer.

Boy,

I didn't ask for anything.

I just wanted to know if you believed in anything or not.

And you said no.

I don't, man. I don't.

If there was something, nothing would be the way it is now.

We would've had an easier time finding the coins.

We wouldn't have hopped from one cave to the next and not found it.

- This isn't enough. - Do me a favor. This is all I have.

The "master" is more expensive.

- The what? - The master. Don't you want a shower?

Yeah, but give us a discount.

Fine.

Thank you.

Shoja.

Shoja, wake up.

Wake up, we have to go.

- What happened? - Nothing. We have to get going.

I had a dream last night.

Where are we?

Same place as before. I had a dream last night.

I dreamt that as I was walking through the cave, I suddenly stopped.

I turned around.

Outside the cave there was a desert.

We're in the wrong place.

Wake up.

What does your dad do in Germany?

He's a pilot.

Do you ever miss them?

I'm used to it.

You should do your army service so you can go visit them.

My mom used to say that when I was born, my dad got sick.

He died two years later.

Apparently he was incapable of loving us both simultaneously.

God learns of this and takes his life.

It's always like that.

When a kid is born, everything changes.

You're forced to choose between your kid and your husband.

Your mom chose your dad.

That's why they went to Germany together.

Mamad The Puma cave.

But there's plenty of beautiful historical sites,

Why go to a cave?!

Where?

There's a cool hammam across the street.

There's also an ancient mosque in the city.

Where's that Mamad Puma cave you were talking about?

Mamad The Puma.

There used to be this guy, who was very shrewd and sharp.

He was a bandit.

He would rob people's gold and things and stuff.

HIs cave was at a place that not even a mountain lion could go.

That's why they nicknamed him Mamad The Puma.

The legend goes, that when Shah Abbas met him around here, he liked him a lot.

He asks him to stop being a bandit and to become a tollkeeper for the region.

Apparently he agrees to do that. But his cave is still there.

What happened to the coins?

Coins?

I'm not sure if there were any coins. But...

I have this one friend, who knows the history of this whole region.

Let me call him and have him come over.

- I think this is the one. - Don't say anything in front of him.

Tomorrow I'll go get it for you.

By yourself?

Yeah sir, don't worry. I can do it by myself.

So you can ditch me afterwards?

Sir, I'm not a thief.

When you're not a believer, everything is permissible for you.

What can I swear to so you believe me?

How can I even believe your swearing?

- Did you want to go tomorrow? - Yes.

Then take my motorbike. It would only take you 30 minutes.

Do you know how to ride a bike?

- Do you? - Yes, I do.

Get lost you bastard!

I'm sorry sir.

That kid is truly a bastard. No one knows who his mom or dad are.

Forget about him, where's that Mamad Puma cave?

Mamad The Puma!

- You didn't say what your name is. - Are you here to stay?

No.

Then why do you want to know my name?

So I know what to call you right now.

Call me whatever you like. How's Jalal?

- No, what is your own name? - I don't have a name.

I wanted to help you out.

- Why, you have money? - No.

Then what kind of help?

I thought we're similar.

We're not similar.

I don't mean look wise.

They call you a bastard too?

- No. - What then?

I also don't have any parents.

- You're an orphan. - Yes.

- There are plenty of orphans. - What's the difference.

You know the difference.

Can I sit down?

Where do you sleep at nights?

What's it to you? I have a knife, watch it.

I also haven't had a place since I turned 18.

I grew up in an orphanage.

How old are you?

23.

How old are you?

I think 16. But I may be older.

Why won't you go to an orphanage?

I think you might be more comfortable there.

What's good about it? I was barely able to escape.

Were you really in an orphanage?

Yes, I was.

But they told me that I have to leave.

When I turned 18, they gave me some money and asked me to leave.

I haven't had a place since then.

How do you know you're not a bastard?

What difference does it make? Does it even matter?

Because out here, everyone calls me a bastard.

Why?

When I was a kid, they took me to a cave.

Jacob's Cave

There was this hole.

They would call it the halal haram hole.

It was very tight.

They told me that I have to go through that hole.

I was a kid, so I was scared.

They said if you don't go through it, you're a bastard.

I couldn't go through it, so ever since then they call me...

I'm sorry, I have to go.

- He didn't say anything to upset you. - I'm not upset.

I didn't say anything.

May I give you some advice so you don't waste your time?

Go ahead.

There are two types of metal detectors: Deep seeker and spotter.

The deep seeker is for the whole space, very general reach.

The spotter will show you the exact spot of the treasure.

- We're not treasure hunters. - I got you.

I'm just helping out.

I recommend that you use both of them, in tandem.

Because it saves you both time and money.

People often buy one, search everywhere, then buy the other and start over.

- Everyone knows me around here... - We're not looking for any treasures.

I got you bro.

Just learn a thing or two, maybe it'll come in handy later on.

You two are walking around asking where this and that cave is...

you must be looking for something!

A two-person crew...

You see...

in this land, in all of Iran for that matter...

Two-person crews don't work. You get me?

Later on, if you find something, we'll talk it over.

We'll figure out our percentages.

Okay. Thank you.

It's not even that much money.

At the end of the day, I've found a couple of friends.

Goodnight.

What're they saying?

He insists we're hunting for treasures.

How did he find out?

Are we actually hunting for treasures?

Aren't we?

You think the coins are treasures?

What are they then?

I had no dreams about any treasures.

Plus, there's no reason for them to know what we're up to.

What are they then?

A miracle.

Slowly. Slowly.

No.

It's not this one.

But sir, we've come this far. Let me go check it out, maybe it's the one.

No. It's dangerous.

- Mr. Beyti. - Yes.

If it's him, we have to somehow ditch him.

Sir, I brought you your bike keys back.

I'll be right back.

Thanks.

Are they with you?

Who?

The bikers with the fireworks. You go in the room.

No. Are you okay?

Let me know how much we owe you.

- Are you leaving? - No.

I just wanna make sure you're charging us.

I ordered us some sandwiches. We'll figure something out.

So you'll give us the bill once the sandwiches are here.

Sure.

Sir, maybe he comes here every night.

Then why was he at the cave?

I don't know. Maybe I didn't see right.

I saw him too.

You want me to figure out what they're talking about?

How?

The ceilings here have a hole.

No. They'll find out and we'll get in trouble.

Don't worry. I'll sneak up on them, they'll never find out.

It's painful.

It's your prostate.

Are you circumcised properly?

How come?

It's because of that.

You know, they only circumcise us Iranians.

Really?

A doctor once told me.

A doctor whose backyard I was scanning told me.

Did you find anything?

Just a tiny piece of silver.

I am baffled by how you have a hunch for these things.

It's my job man.

They're not a father and son.

Did they claim to be a father and son?

What did they say then?

I don't know. I didn't ask.

Ask them in the morning.

If they said they're a father and son, they're definitely after something.

Unless maybe for example...

The mom is super hot.

The boy doesn't look like Iranians.

Maybe he's not even circumcised.

We'll sneak out at dawn.

- Which way do we have to go? - I don't know.

You want me to ask that kid where to go?

That bastard?

I wouldn't call him a bastard.

A legitimate child then. How would he know?

He was talking to me about some cave.

Now you tell me?

I completely forgot.

He was saying when he was a kid, they had taken him to a cave.

A cave named Jacob's Cave.

Go ask him.

Listen, ask him to not tell anyone.

Just have him meet us at the door at dawn.

He can show us the way.

You see that road, just go straight on it.

How far is it?

An hour.

- Are you sure? - Yeah. Go straight, it takes an hour.

Here you go.

Here, it's not necessary.

- What happened to the money? - You want it?

Keep it.

I don't want it, take it.

- Just keep it. - I don't need it, take it.

I said keep it.

We gotta ration the water.

Don't worry. We'll arrive soon.

But I think we're lost.

We're not lost.

Last night, when I was spying on them...

They were saying that I look like foreigners. Is that true?

Yeah, you do.

That's one of the reasons I chose you.

When people think that you're a foreigner, they believe that we're just eco-tourists.

I have been circumcised.

You're circumcised?

Yes.

What do you expect me to do about it?

Nothing. I'm just saying.

I need a cigarette break.

- What's that? - What's what?

On the ground.

What's that doing here?

It's fresh.

It even has a scent.

How was it placed on the ground?

- What do you mean? - What direction was it facing?

That's a sign.

We have to go this way.

Why that way?

Didn't you say we're lost?

Even if we're lost, it's your fault with the directions you got.

We can't just follow a bouquet of flowers!

In the middle of the desert, how can we know which way to go?

- But a bouquet of flowers? - Direction matters.

A sign is a sign.

Let me take a sip of your water.

I don't have that much water left.

You want me to die?

Take it.

We're lost. I have no idea where we're at.

We're not lost.

Let's go.

I'm tired.

I can't come.

So don't.

I won't.

Get up, stop fooling around.

I really can't.

I'm exhausted.

My shoes are hurting me.

Sitting won't get you anywhere.

I really can't continue sir.

You sit here...

I'll go check that hill out.

Shoja. Shoja!

- Yes? - There's a village here.

- Shoja! - I'm coming.

Sir!

Help.

Sir, I'm coming!

Help!

It's abandoned.

We're screwed.

It's all your fault.

What did I do?

We shouldn't have asked a bastard for directions.

"Go straight!" Okay!

- You were there too. - Don't blame me.

You've been whining all day.

If you were a believer, we would've found it by now.

If I was a believer I wouldn't even be here.

Like an idiot, I've been following someone worse off than myself!

I'm worse off?

Worse off?!

Get lost!

Go, I don't want to see you!

Get lost!

I don't know what to do anymore.

I've had enough.

I've worked my ass off my whole life to prove to everyone that I'm capable.

I'm not.

I don't know how.

Can you hear?

What that sound is?

30%.

30% of what?

30% of what?!

I could've asked for more.

But I wanted to maintain fairness. Equal parts.

What're you talking about?

Whatever Mr. Beyti says.

- Why're you hitting him?! - He'll die if I don't!

Mr. Beyti.

Mr. Beyti.

Mr. Beyti.

- What're you doing? - He'll come back to life-

We have to take him to the hospital.

Where am I going to find a hospital? Go over there!

Take your crap and go over there.

"Hospital."

Are you conscious?

How many fingers am I holding up?

Open your mouth.

Do this.

Hold this.

How many?

Three.

30%.

30% of what?

30% of the fortune.

- My man, Saeed! - Hey brother.

You can follow us if you want.

We're just drifting around.

Don't do that to yourself!

Are you threatening us?

Threatening you?!

This kid said it himself.

I said what?

Didn't you say 30%?

Put yourself in his shoes. You came to us as we were dying and you said 30%.

What else can he say?

We have to prove to you that we're not after any treasures?

I'll tear you apart.

What a bastard.

Did you say a bastard?

You're just looking for trouble.

Let's get a car and get out of here.

We've come this far, we must go on.

Screw it. I don't want it.

We almost died. You want to give up now?

You've been saying you're certain they're not there.

I'm not certain either way...

But I just want to know if they're there or not.

Do I look like a crazy person?

No. Why do you say that?

I'm after a delusion.

When you're certain, it's not a delusion.

That's what a delusion is.

You know the Babak city?

The ruins?

It's not a ruin, it's been there for 1800 years.

Okay so that ancient city.

Yeah, you pass that city and you arrive at Dahaj city.

From Dahaj you go to the Sinekhak village.

From there take a dirt road for 4 kilometers-

- when you're close to the cave-

there's this great wide opening.

It's so big that they call it the great yawn of history.

- Why "of history?" - Because it's historical.

The great yawn would've been enough.

The old timers believed the prophet Jacob once set foot there.

That's why, its name is Jacob cave.

It has this interesting part too, the haram halal passage.

You'll go to the west side of the cave.

Once you're there, inside the cave is visible.

There is a hole.

Give me the flashlight.

It's the one.

- Are you sure it's the one? - Yes.

I'm sure this is it.

- You mean I should go in? - Go.

Go. You'll find it on your own.

What're you doing sir? There was nothing there.

Damn me.

I'll stay right here. You'll see.

It was a delusion.

It was all a delusion.

I'm delusional.

The mountain should open its mouth and devour me.

I've wasted my life in dreams and fantasies.

I've worked like a dog.

I have to work to the end.

My wife was right.

You can go.

I want to stay here.

I'll give you my father-in-law's address.

Tell him I owe you money, he'll pay you.

Shoja!

Shoja!

FOR MY FATHER