Original subtitles

Now, you listen to Lucille, honey.

That cousin of yours on the White House lawn, he may be bigger, but you don't

have to hang your bowels in shame.

Repeat after me.

I am somebody.

Morning.

Hi, boss.

Did you get by? No problem.

Whoa!

Oh, sorry, Freddy. You okay?

Either with you or no time.

Morning, Lucille.

Trimming the Christmas twig?

You planning to adopt?

They're for David.

We've been going nuts trying to figure out what we're going to get him for

Hanukkah. The other night I overheard him on the phone.

He was saying how much he wanted crash test dummies.

Crash test dummies?

Sounds nuts to me, too.

What do I know?

I don't think they're what he had in mind.

Are you kidding me? They're the real thing.

Crash Test Dummies is the name of a band.

A what?

David was probably talking about their latest CD.

Who would call a band Crash Test Dummies? Who would name a band Smashing

Pumpkins?

He was talking about Smashing Pumpkins, too. I thought it was a dessert.

Next time.

Don't eat stuff when he's on the phone. Next time he can shut his door.

Why can't they give these bands names that make sense? Like the Kinks or Sam

Sham and the Pharaohs.

Oh, sorry, Freddy.

What do you like better, smashing pumpkins or crash test dummies?

I'm surprised you even know who they are.

What am I, the most unhip guy in the world? Well, I haven't traveled that

extensively. I just had another burglary over at the new Vista Retirement Hotel.

Don't these guys take time for the holidays like everybody else?

If we can't be safe here, what's the alternative?

A plot at Oak Lawn Cemetery?

Mr. Loomis, everyone, this is just as upsetting to us as it is to you. Oh,

When was the last time your place got robbed?

Somebody copped my radio in two pair of walking shoes.

Copped? Whatever.

Have you seen any unfamiliar faces?

It's not our job to watch for unfamiliar faces.

Why don't we all just try to relax?

Look who's here.

Little Mary Sunshine.

Go organize a field trip.

Why should it matter to you, Joe? You've never been interested in our

activities. I'm 76.

Breathing's the only activity I'm interested in.

We're not asking for much.

We just want to feel safe.

It'll be okay.

I don't want to live like this.

We're going to increase patrols in this area.

This guy has already hit this place three times.

He's probably going to try to do it again.

Lock your doors.

There's advice for you.

I wish there was more I could do.

Maybe Sammy Claus will grant that wish.

Maybe that fat old elf will slide down your chimney, pop into your living room,

and say, Merry Christmas!

Here you are, kid.

Merry Christmas.

Happy Hanukkah, sweetheart.

Thank you, Frank.

No, no, no, don't worry. I didn't forget you were your sister. There'll be

something delivered tomorrow.

Thanks.

So, what did everybody put on their list?

Well, David got himself a new CD player about a month ago, so we're getting him

a bunch of new CDs.

And Sarah's really easy. All she wants to do is play with the boxes and the

wrapping paper.

Merry Christmas, Uncle Frank.

Aw, thank you, David.

I've been thinking about a new reel for my fly rod, which a certain party with

an earring is well aware of.

Let's have dessert in the living room.

Boy, am I stuffed.

I saw Milt Levine yesterday. He said he's been leaving messages on your phone

machine for a couple of weeks now.

I ought to unplug the damn thing.

He and Dottie want me to go over to their house and play pinochle. So?

I don't want to be no fifth wheel.

Kennelly's.

No. No, Rach. Honest. No, I'm filled right up to here. No kidding. And I...

All right.

Oh!

Sensational.

What part of Italy do you people come from?

Minsk. Minsk.

I meant to bring those old pictures I found down in the cellar from when I

to play semi -pro football.

I didn't know you played ball.

I was a private eye, too.

You're kidding.

When Marie and me were first married, she was afraid I'd get hurt.

So I gave it up.

That was my first Christmas present to her.

I tore up my P .I. license 51 Christmases ago.

You won.

I never thought I'd spin one without her.

No, Tony.

Mike just isn't the same guy anymore.

He used to be so... Young?

Isn't there something you could do?

Well, I can't bring Marie back.

You need something to give him a jump start.

I used to be meeting new people. People that don't remind him of her.

Where am I supposed to find them?

I don't know.

Must be around somewhere.

Well... I know exactly where

they are.

That's the stupidest idea you ever had, and you've had some beauties.

Secretly, I know you love it. How am I supposed to catch a burglar? I haven't

been a P .I. since Truman.

Just keep your eyes and ears open.

Yeah? Well, this guy better show up early. I go to sleep at 9 o 'clock, you

know.

All of a sudden, I'm getting calls from the I .R .S.

Bloodsuckers. They tell me my accountant is under investigation for

embezzlement, and I could owe a fortune.

What's your accountant say? He says, who you gonna believe, Pop?

Them or me?

Supposing I hear something about this burger.

Call. No heroics, Frank.

Excuse me.

Um, you wouldn't happen to be a baritone, would you? We're doing

weekend. Our Judd Frye fell in the bathtub and broke his hip. I'm desperate

a baritone.

I can't sing.

That's fine.

Half our audience can't hear.

Oh, uh, I'm Ann Palmer, resident social director.

Welcome, uh, Frank.

Frank. Oh, well, welcome.

Commissioner, do you two know each other? Only since I used to mow his lawn

in Brooklyn. Well, if the theater's not your thing, how about group night of the

garden? Knicks versus Golden State.

No, I, uh... We have a group going to the Met to see the new Monet exhibit,

we teach a ballroom dancing class here every Thursday night.

No, thanks.

Oh.

Well, um...

We'll let you get settled in. Nice to meet you, Frank.

Commissioner?

Hey, she's a pain in the neck.

Remember, Frank, if you see anything... Yeah, yeah, I'll call.

Goodbye, Aunt May.

Anything good to eat? No.

It's all garbage.

Hey, did you wrap up the fisher meal for your dad?

Uh, not yet.

You want me to?

Um, I haven't bought it yet.

Hey, but Hanukkah's in four days.

I know.

I'll get it.

When?

I will.

Hey, Mark, it's me.

Listen, I need a favor.

Hanukkah's in four days.

Can I borrow 40 bucks?

Hello?

Will you let go?

Shut up.

We've never had anything like this.

Mr. Nardino, I can't thank you enough for stopping him. Well, I was just

by. My luck.

Captain Courageous goes for a walk.

Nice going, Captain.

Commissioner, I'm Alan Potter. I'm the administrator of the hotel.

I feel it's my responsibility to be in on this. Have a seat.

Okay. There's been no point beating around the bush. I was breaking into

room. Just like you broke into the last three.

Joe Florio served terms of state prison each of the last three decades.

Nice touch.

Copping your own radio and walking shows.

You learn things over the years.

Publicity over this could be extremely damaging.

If you don't mind, I'd like to talk to the people whose things were stolen. I

think I can convince them not to press charges if the merchandise is returned

and he leaves.

I'll go for that.

I want to talk to those people tonight.

Breaking into Harry's room.

And he's a friend of yours.

What are friends for?

I want to talk to Harry, too.

You'll get nothing out of him. He's a very sound sleeper.

a moment

I see no point in beating around the brush.

Harry woke up and saw you going through his stuff, so you killed him. That

linebacker, Nardino, he stopped me before I even got in the room.

You could have been locking up to cover your tracks.

My prints in there?

You find one piece of evidence that I was in that room?

Not yet.

Well, you won't.

You don't even know he was killed.

Could have been natural causes. It happens in places like this.

M .E. said he was suffocated. You think I waited 76 years to get in the muscle

end of this business?

If you didn't kill him, who did?

Since when am I a fortune teller?

You're the detectives. Do what you do.

Book him.

Take him out the back door.

This case is a loser. I can tell you that right now. Thanks for the tip.

Did you get Joe to confess?

I don't think he killed Harry.

He could be covering for someone else.

We'll see if jail loosens him up.

Does he have any relatives you know of?

I heard about a girlfriend.

Well, we'll find out what's what. Anyway, you're out of here.

The hell I am.

You put me here to catch a guy. We don't have him. We're not talking about petty

theft now. This could be dangerous.

Who's in charge here?

I want to talk to whoever's in charge.

I'm Police Commissioner Scali.

My father, they said.

Someone killed my father.

Oh, Mr. Loomis, I'm very sorry.

Thank you.

He's an old man.

We were going to spend Christmas together.

We think he was killed during a burglary.

Did he have any valuables in his room?

He lived on Social Security and a union pension.

Do you feel up to making a formal statement?

Mr. Lewis, I'm Ann Palmer.

We've never met, but I was a friend of your father's.

It may not help much now, but I just wanted you to know that there are a lot

people here who loved him and who are going to miss him.

Forget about it. I'm staying.

Why can't you guys leave Joe alone?

He's in the twilight of his years. You're still giving him grace.

Did you know that Joe committed over 100 burglaries?

I know he was good with his hands.

Still is.

Miss Botticelli.

Laverne.

Now, I'm not going to have anything to do with your further prosecution.

Joe is being held for murder.

Oh, no, there's got to be some kind of... He's got no violence in him.

In all the years we lived together, he never even raised his voice at me.

He's the sweetest old bird I ever knew.

Yeah, well, he's in a lot of trouble. Yeah, that's dope.

I warned him not to take that job. What job? Oh, he wouldn't listen. He said,

Bernie, there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

He's good with his hands, but he's not too bright.

What job?

He'd been living over the hotel a few weeks.

Then someone hired him to pinch an item from a fellow's room in the rest home.

He didn't say anything about being hired by anyone.

Because he has ethics.

Well, do you know whose item he was hired to pinch?

Larry?

No, Barry... Harry, Harry Loomis? Could be it.

Well, if Harry had something worth stealing, then why did Joe break into

other two rooms first?

I don't know.

He likes to work.

You find the guy who hired him, I bet you'll find your killer.

Believe me, Joe is just a prawn in the equation.

Thank you.

Did you work at the Club de Paris on Pitkin Avenue?

Oh.

Perhaps you viewed me there?

I didn't think so. It was torn down when I was nine.

Oh.

Yes, I was the featured dancer.

I had a parrot in the act. He snipped my straps with his beak and then boom!

He was the sweetest old bird I ever knew.

You're so right.

It does fly.

My son's 42, and my daughter's 37.

37!

Grandchildren? My daughter's expecting in May.

She took that little test, you know, and they say it'll be a girl. Oh, that's

wonderful. Yeah.

I keep thinking how much Marie, my wife, how much she'd have loved to...

It'd be nice if they named the baby after her.

Do you like living here?

Yes.

After Jack died, my sons asked me to come and live with them. I think they

hoping that I would turn them down.

Still, it was sweet of them to offer.

It's been nice here until that thing with Harry. Oh, yeah.

Well, you were pretty close to him, weren't you? I mean...

The way you talked to his son.

We spent time together.

He had a little crush on me. It seemed so silly.

Oh?

I don't know.

Well, thank you.

There were little gifts on my birthday. There would always be something for me

under the tree in the rec room.

How'd you feel about him?

Haven't been on a swing in over a week.

What do you think?

Laverne said you were hired to steal something from Harry's room.

Laverne? How'd you find her?

We're detectives.

It's what we do.

Nobody hired me. Nobody hired you. It's what I said.

Why would Laverne lie?

It's not a question of that.

It's just Laverne spent too much time in nightclubs with no clothes on.

Poco Pato. You know, a little daddy.

You find my prints in Harry's room?

No. All right, then.

The night in jail was nostalgic, but he got no grounds to hold me, so let me out

before I call the schmoes at ACLU.

Have a merry one, fellas.

Pin a tail on him.

Only if I get ice cream and cake.

For two years after Jack died, I was so angry.

How dare he leave me?

I stopped seeing the friends we used to see. I stayed in the house.

I became an expert on the sleep -inducing qualities of single moth

I'm not angry at Marie.

I just miss her.

I know.

But after the tears dry up and the anger goes away, there's life to be lived.

And we can choose how we live it.

For however long we've got.

It's rough.

I know.

But what else can we do?

Wouldn't you say that Nick's gay, man?

Give it half an hour.

Would you please move?

Come on.

Um, I've been thinking.

Maybe I won't get Dad the fly reel.

Maybe I'll get him a woolly worm instead.

A worm? For Hanukkah?

Well, it's not a real worm.

It's a fly. For fishing.

Well, how much does a woolly worm cost?

Well, three bucks.

Oh, you're going to splurge on a three -buck present?

I'll buy him two.

Oh, it's the thought that counts, isn't it?

Besides, I don't think he really wants the reel. I think he'd be just as happy

with it. He does want it. You know he does.

David, two weeks ago, you were going to spend $40 on a fishing reel, and now

you're talking worms.

What'd you do with your money?

What?

I spent it on Carol Bennett.

David. I bought her a scarf.

She was always saying how cold her neck is.

Now I'm broke, Mom.

Woolly worms are all I can afford.

Could you lend me the money?

I'll pay you back by the end of January, with interest.

Not a chance.

Well, you made your decision.

You're going to have to live with it.

Okay.

Yay!

Oh, Jesus, the cops.

I'll see you later.

You find out anything about Harry? Yeah, everybody liked him. He was compulsive,

and that's the worst thing anybody could say against him.

Compulsive about what? Everything.

What he ate, his clothes.

Every morning, 7 o 'clock, rain or shine, he'd take a walk up Denton.

Across commercial and back up grant.

Maybe we should, too.

Oh, a little gumshoe work.

Excuse me. I'd like to collect Harry Loomis' personal belongings.

Excuse me. I'm Police Commissioner Scali. Who are you?

Alan Jeffries, Harry's nephew.

We released his personal effects last night to his son.

Harry's son died two years ago. He had no other children.

What's going on here, Commissioner?

Harry's son.

Probably because he thinks there's something valuable among his effects.

Yes.

That you just opened yourself up for a negligence action that's going to turn

your life into a nightmare.

He's covering it well, but I think he's annoyed.

I had Phil work up a sketch of our phony son.

We put it out on the air.

Well, if he hasn't left town yet, maybe we'll get lucky.

You ready?

Yeah, let's go.

Harry used to take this walk every day.

He was in better shape than I am.

I figured Joe Florio would lead us to the man who hired him, who I have to

assume is the phony son.

But Joe hasn't left his apartment since we released him.

Tony, I want you to know that nothing going on between Ann and me.

Just in case you thought about it. Well, don't be offended, but I hadn't thought

about it. Good, because there's nothing going on.

Well, Frank, I hadn't thought about it. I mean, when you walked in, I was

telling her a joke and she laughed. And that's what that was, but there's

nothing going on. Fine.

So, if anybody should ask, you know, like Rachel or anybody... Frankie,

going on?

Nothing!

Haven't you heard a word I said?

I mean, how would it look if I... Who cares what it looks like? I care!

Why?

You're both adults. You can do what you like.

Frankie, this is a good thing.

But Marie's not even gone a year.

That ain't right.

So what makes her wrong?

Because you like Anne, does that mean you loved Marie any less?

Look, it doesn't honor Marie's memory to shut yourself off from other people. It

dishonors it, because that's not what she'd want you to do.

It's like you always say to me, no fare, no sumare, right?

I mean, if something's going to happen, why not let it?

That's why you put me there in the first place, huh?

Hoping something like this would happen.

It crossed my mind.

It's like school.

I see her coming down the hall and I get... I get glad.

So why don't you go and claw her in?

I'll see ya.

I lost my clerk.

I've got to do this stuff myself.

Commissioner Scali.

What's wrong?

Did you know a man named Harry Loomis?

Sure. He's regular.

I heard about him getting killed.

How well did you know him? Just to talk. You know, he'd come and buy his paper,

toothpaste, tickets, that kind of thing.

Tickets? About ten a week.

You sold the winning ticket? Worth a million bucks.

Nobody's claimed it yet.

And it expires on midnight Christmas Eve.

Uh -huh. Well, uh, does this man look... Where is he?

I want a pound of his flesh. That's Bobby Crenshaw. He was my clerk till

Saturday.

Well, when was the winning ticket drawn?

Friday night.

Well, is it possible he could have sold the ticket to Harry Loomis? He worked

Friday. Sure is possible.

Thanks a lot.

Gin. Let's see.

You owe me $612 ,000.

Want to go for double or nothing?

What's the matter?

I'm trying to figure out a way of saying something I haven't said in 50 years.

No thanks, General Patton.

You take the hill.

It's been that long since I told a girl I'm falling for her.

I never thought I'd feel this way again.

Hello, Ann.

Commissioner? Frankie, we may be getting somewhere.

Harry Loomis may have had a winning lottery ticket.

Could you excuse us a second?

Yeah, sure. Excuse me.

The guy who said he was Harry's son was the clerk who sold him the ticket.

A guy named Crenshaw.

Why didn't Harry turn it in?

Maybe he didn't know he had it.

Anyway, I figured Crenshaw hired Joe Florio to steal it. When that didn't

he killed Harry and claimed his stuff.

But he still hasn't found it.

Otherwise, he would have claimed the prize by now.

What's next?

Well, we're searching here. Maybe it's still around.

Man, I got an APB out on Crenshaw.

So I got to go.

How's it going?

Well, I think I'm over the tough part.

And what I want you to know is... Don't you think the cloak and dagger stuff has

passed you by?

What do you mean?

It all makes sense now.

You came here to get information about the burglaries, and then about Harry,

of taking a walk with me in the park. That has nothing to do with it. Oh, I'm

not stupid, Frank.

All of a sudden, you want to see Monet?

I want to be with you, Ann.

Don't you understand?

No, I guess I don't.

And I don't want any more misunderstanding.

Ann!

Wrapping a stack of CDs is a lot easier than wrapping a crash test dummy.

Yeah, well, I still say we spent too much money on these things. Oh, come on,

Rach. It's Hanukkah.

Besides, what I think of David scrimping and saving for that fishing reel.

Tony. What's a couple of more bucks?

I mean, frankly, I can't wait until he slaps him in that CD player and cranks

that puppy up.

Frankie.

Nothing. And nothing's going to.

He doesn't understand it.

And to be quite honest, neither do I.

Do you always meddle in other people's personal lives?

It's a character flaw.

Frank has been miserable since his wife died.

Until he met you.

Now he wants to do things again.

He's back to being the way he used to be. Because of you.

If you feel tricked or misled, please, don't blame Frank.

It's my fault.

I mean, he is crazy about you.

He didn't even want to be, but he is.

And it seems as though you liked him, too.

I like him very much.

I just didn't realize how fast things were going.

What's wrong with fast?

Let's face it, none of us knows how much time we have.

I do know.

Oh, Ann.

It's all right.

Well, no, it's not all right.

But it's the way it is.

I just didn't want to start something with him that I wouldn't be around to

finish.

I didn't want him to be hurt again.

Don't you think you should give him that option?

No.

I couldn't sleep last night thinking about it.

But it's better this way for both of us.

You don't really believe that.

And he's got to know.

Don't tell him.

Please, Tony, don't tell him.

Consider it my last Christmas wish.

You're not thinking of telling Frank.

I'm thinking of it.

Tony, she said it was her last Christmas wish.

I know.

She and Frank want to be together, too. I know that.

Anne's pretty much a stranger.

But Frank is my friend. Now, what kind of a friend would I be if I kept him

knowing the truth?

Well, I'm waiting.

For what?

Advice, and it better be good.

You can't tell him. That's not advice.

That's an order.

Okay.

Tell him that he can't give up on Ann without an explanation.

He can say he's a grown man, and he can deal with the truth, and he deserves to

know it.

This way you get them talking, but you haven't betrayed her confidence.

I'll call him when we're done.

We're done.

Does that look right to you?

We checked Bobby Crenshaw's last known address, his girlfriend's, and he hasn't

gone to the lottery office to claim his winnings. Because he still doesn't have

that ticket.

Yeah, well, he's got less than 36 hours till it expires. He's got to be going

batty. So, let's make him go batty and smoke him out at the same time.

Crenshaw thinks that ticket's still out there.

He's got to make a grab for it. He's gone too far to stop now.

What if we put a notice in the paper?

There's got to be a memorial service for Harry at his weekend home tomorrow

morning at 10.

He doesn't have a weekend home.

How does Crenshaw know?

Well, he's not going to be dumb enough to show up with people around.

Ah.

Maybe he'll be smart enough to show up before they get there.

All right.

I'll have units faking out the place as soon as the paper hits the stands.

It's going to be really nice, dude.

Thank you. Okay, we'll see you all later.

Bye -bye.

Anne, I want an explanation.

I'm not giving up on you until I get one.

Frank. Look, I'm a grown man.

I can deal with the truth.

I deserve it, Anne.

I didn't want you to be hurt.

If I handled it the wrong way... Are they sure?

Isn't it possible they need a... There's no mistake.

The funny thing is that if this had happened three years ago, I really

have cared.

But now... Oh, Frank.

I want to live.

More than ever.

Clock's ticking.

Crenshaw's a no -show.

You know, maybe this guy doesn't read the papers.

I'll bet she's looking for every piece of news you can find about that ticket.

You sit tight.

It's 30 degrees.

How else can I sit?

Hey, I've been looking for you since... You knew about Anne, didn't you?

Didn't you?

Yeah. Then why'd you tell me to go back and ask for the truth?

What was that supposed to accomplish?

We're supposed to... Listen to me, Buster.

You're not Cupid.

I felt like a big sumara, a jackass.

What do you want me to say to her? That it doesn't matter, that I'll stay with

her till the end?

I thought that's how you felt. You were wrong.

Who needed you to send me there in the first place?

I was doing fine by myself. You were a mess.

It's my mess.

My life.

You don't know what I went through with Marie.

You may think you do, but you don't.

I can't put myself through that again.

You mean you're afraid to? Okay, fine, I'm afraid.

No, that's fine.

Look, maybe it's not my place.

What the hell am I apologizing for? It is my place.

You know, a lot of people never fall in love once.

You have the chance to do it twice.

It may not be the greatest timing in the world, but if I were you, I'd take it,

Frankie.

But that third chance might not ever come.

I can run my own life, Tony.

I've been doing it long enough.

Come on, Frankie.

Yeah, what?

Crenshaw just went up the walk.

We left the back door open for him. I'm on the way.

You and Steve post here. Jimmy and I will take the front. Okay.

No flag in the play.

You all right?

I feel like a bull in a china shop, but I'm fine.

Hey, how'd you know you sold Harry the winning ticket?

He always bet the same numbers.

Numbers the Yankees retired.

I love it.

Get him out of here, Jimmy.

Wait.

I got to know one thing.

Where's the ticket?

I'd like to get my hands on that ticket myself.

Forget about it, Paulie.

It's the stuff dreams are made of.

All right, Connie.

Get out of here.

Oh, look at what Mommy got for me.

Isn't that pretty?

Look at that. Not bad, huh?

That'll go great with my suit.

Oh, and what have we here?

To Dad, love, David.

Ooh, I'll bet this will make Rainbow Trout quake with fear.

Oh, what a surprise. How did you know?

Oh, thank you, David. Happy Hanukkah, kid.

Thanks.

To David from Mom and Dad. That's it.

Come on, now.

Oh, thanks, guys.

Go ahead. Go get your player.

We still have some more stuff to open.

I want to hear how good crash test dummies really are.

Maybe later.

Oh, come on. You've been dying to hear those CDs.

Go up and get the player. I can't.

It's at Mark's place.

It's his now.

What are you talking about? You saved for that play for six months. You loved

that thing.

I know.

But Carol Bennett's got a cold neck, and I was going to buy you woolly worms,

but they were a lousy gift, and Mark wouldn't lend me the money, so I sold

the player.

I'm proud of you.

Anyway, happy Hanukkah.

Thanks. I think.

all about?

I'll tell you later.

Now look, Frank, have you talked to him?

No, he won't answer my calls.

He won't come to his door.

I really hate to think of him being alone tonight.

Yeah, me too.

A very smart, very beautiful lady once told me,

there's life to be lived, and we can choose how

to live it for however long we've got.

I'd like to be part of your life, Anne, for however long we've got.

And you know, we went to the Villa Cucina.

They had a Christmas special of the most beautiful plate of linguine you ever

saw.

We know it was short notice, but we just wanted to share the holidays with you.

Yeah. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

A lot merrier than I thought it was going to be.

For both of us.

Thank you, Anthony.

My pleasure.

And happy Hanukkah.

Happy Hanukkah. All right.

Harry left this under the tree the night before he died.

Thank you.

Go ahead, open it. He'd want you to.

Lucky Day Lottery.

Hey.

Seven, that's Mantle.

Sixteen, that's Whitey Ford.

Five, that's DiMaggio.

DiMaggio.

Oh, my God.

That's worth a million dollars. You better get it to the lottery office.

It's expired.

When? Two minutes ago.

You mean if we hadn't gone to dinner with... Oh, I'm sick.

Man.

Man, you lost a million bucks.

I haven't lost a thing.