Original subtitles

important.

some flowers, Mary.

They only want a drop of water.

Oh, my, yes.

You've got a lovely garden. Yes.

The sun did the house.

Oh, that's the way it is, okay.

Well, it's up to you.

Sure. Look, I don't own you.

I just want to...

Look,

I just want to know one thing.

Are you with me or not?

I don't care which it is. I just want to know.

Okay?

Okay?

Uh, hello. Could I speak to Andrea, please?

I don't know. Not another one.

Who's this?

Dennis Carter.

What do you want?

I just want to, uh, speak to her.

Do you think I can or not?

I love you, Andrea.

I've never really been able to tell you that before.

Hello, Dennis.

Hi. Hello, Dennis.

Look, I forgot which you liked best, Starglobe or Virno, so I got both. I

thought it'd save time.

Oh, jeez.

Clive, you've been away a bit, then?

Yeah. Didn't you get my card?

Oh, yeah. Your holiday in the West Coast. Well, sort of business, really.

Oh.

Are you, uh... Have you still seen that other bloke, Clive?

Yeah, sometimes, haven't I?

Well, listen, Andrea.

A lot of people think I've just been on holiday with my mum.

Well, you have, haven't you?

Yeah. She was there some of the time.

And, you know, we shared petrol there and back, that sort of thing.

But really, she was just there as a front.

A front for what?

OK.

Now, you're going to find this hard to believe, Andrea, but somehow I've got

myself involved with an international drugs ring.

And I need your help.

Why, is your mum busy?

No, no, she doesn't know anything about it. The thing is, it's quite a big

operation. In fact, they want me to go back next weekend. And I was wondering

whether you might, you know, like, possibly want to come as well.

What for?

Well, the problem is, they told me I've got to get a girlfriend just as a cover.

And, um, I mean, it could be you, or it could be someone else, or it could be

you. So what has this girlfriend got to do, then?

I don't know. They just said we probably have to stay in quite an expensive

hotel, go to a few restaurants, a few flash nightclubs, and generally pretend

have a good time until the boat full of drugs arrives.

This hotel, Dennis, would we have to share the same room?

We might have to, yeah.

How much are they paying you for this high -risk sort of stuff?

Well... Not much the first time, but the next one could earn me half a million.

Half a million?

I was hoping we might go to Sri Lanka and maybe, you know,

sort of live together.

Yeah, great.

Well, I'd better be going, Dennis.

Well, can you come next weekend or not?

I can't really. I've got my mocks, you know. What about the following weekend?

I don't know.

You'd better be careful, Dennis.

I'm telling you, you mess around with smack dealers, they'll chop you into

little bits and send you in the post to your mum. Don't worry about me, Andrea.

As soon as I've offloaded the smack, I'm going to retire.

It's only the stupid ones that peddle again. They're the ones that get caught.

OK, Dennis.

See you.

Evening.

Evening. Constable Collins, Wandsworth Police.

I'm formally arresting you on suspicion of trafficking dangerous drugs.

And, of course, it's my duty to warn you you're not obliged to say anything. But

if you do say anything, it may be written down and used in evidence.

What?

I'm sorry about this, Andrea.

Why do you go making up a story like that?

You're pathetic, Dennis. It's the most stupid thing I've ever heard.

Look, he hasn't done anything.

He's just making it all up. He does it all the time.

What have you done?

I mean, honestly, does he look like someone who's part of a drug swing?

Oh, she's great, your girl.

I'm not his girl!

He's a total arsehole!

He's made it all up! Oh, whoops, Frank, we've done it again.

Isn't it funny how everyone we nicked's innocent?

Yeah.

Do you know, Frank and I haven't nicked a guilty man in 15 years.

What was I telling you, you stupid bastard?

Keep quiet if I were you, love. You might get nicked for obstruction.

Look, she's got nothing to do with it.

Neither has he.

Oh, that's nice, isn't it? I do like a girl who stands by her man.

Stand by your man.

Ha ha ha!

in his mouth having a boozer.

Yeah.

Prince Snooker tonight?

No, I'm taking Pat to CET.

I thought you'd seen that about five times.

Not with Dolby Sound.

It's a funny thing about that film, you know.

Everybody said, oh, you'll cry at the end, Frank.

I said, don't be silly.

I said that about Love Story and I pissed myself.

Tell you something, though.

When that stupid green puppet said goodbye?

I couldn't help it.

There was tears rolling down my face. A lot.

Wandsworth?

Yes?

Yes, thank you very much.

Commander Robertson, Criminal Intelligence, Scotland Yard. He's coming

ten minutes.

OK, now... Let's have a look.

Hello, Dennis.

You all right?

Sorry it's not the Ritz, but, you know... Got a cup of tea? Cigarette?

No, thanks.

Anything you want, Dennis, just let us know.

It's for the scrapbook, not for the records.

Come on, get lower.

All right, Dennis.

I don't smoke.

No, but... Here, come on. We'd better get going.

OK, Dennis.

Commander Robertson, Scotland Yard.

Constable Collins.

Constable Frank, sir.

Where do you rest in offices?

Letter report.

This is a big breakthrough, sir.

Yeah, you had a feeling, didn't you, George? He's definitely got a nose for

sir. Who spoke to him?

Well, we both did, but only in the car, just to be sociable.

What's your impression?

Well, in my opinion, sir, it's either very, very stupid or very, very clever.

He definitely mentioned there was a drop planned for this weekend.

Yes, sir.

In the West Country.

You're sure about that?

Most definitely, sir.

Who else knows he's here?

Just the two of us.

Make sure it stays that way.

Where did you get that suntan, Dennis?

On holiday.

Where?

I'm not saying anything until I've seen the solicitor.

Officer, do you have a first aid box in this station?

Well, of course, sir.

Good. Have this man beaten up.

Look down on me, I'll tell you. I'll tell you. I was in Oak Cove in Denham

my mum.

Thank you very much.

Carter was there with his mum, sir.

Very clever.

Boys. In fact, they use a young man with no police record and place him right

here on the spot with his mum.

It's brilliant.

You don't think he's one of the ringleaders?

Dennis Carter is just a pawn.

Sorry about all this. Dennis says it's my daughter's birthday party. She's 18.

Oh.

Nice kids.

How old are you?

25.

Awful place, this, isn't it?

What a dandruff.

Can you imagine being locked up in a place like this for the rest of your

23 hours a day, with some evil pervert?

You know the meaning of the term Queen's Evidence?

Yeah.

It's somebody who informs on their friends in return for money and freedom.

Yes.

You mean like a super craft?

Dennis, you're still very young.

You've got a clean record.

Yeah, I know.

for you to make a fresh start.

I'm leaving this job next month to become a priest.

I've spent two very depressing years on Operation Boathead without getting a

single lead.

And before I take my vows, Dennis, I'll do anything to get those bastards

nicked.

What I'm saying is, if you help me to catch that drugs ring, I'll make a deal

with you.

Eh?

guaranteed income, tax -free.

The world's yours, Dennis.

Beach bar in the Caribbean and a flat in Rio.

What about Sri Lanka?

Why not?

Can I take Andrea?

Come to see Commander Robertson.

Hello, Harvey. Heard the news?

What?

Operation Bolthead.

We've cracked it. Me and George nicked a courier.

Where is he?

There.

What do you think, Harvey?

He's not a drug smuggler.

I know.

Brilliant, isn't it?

Shows how cunning they are, the evil bastards.

This is what I want you to do, Harvey. Carter says they're planning a drop

possibly this weekend. And he is meant to be there to meet the boat. And that

exactly what I want you to do.

So I'm sending you and another police officer along with him. Who?

Nice girl.

Policewoman Leslie Reynolds.

Do you know her?

It's all a bit of a rush. I'm afraid Reynolds in the canteen at the moment

Is there any more beer?

Good idea.

Two more beers, Franks.

Oh, and some crisps.

Right, Dennis.

I've decided to send you to Hope Cove with your girlfriend as planned.

Oh. Thank you very much. It seems to me very important that you are there this

weekend when the boat arrives.

Ah. Well, they did say that it might take a bit longer.

You know, the weather's like in the Bay of Biscay.

How much longer? Days?

Weeks? A fortnight.

I'd like you to meet these two police undercover officers.

Dennis, this is Harvey Duncan, who will be acting as your minder.

And policewoman Leslie Reynolds, who will be going as your girlfriend.

That's not my girlfriend.

She is now.

What about Andrea?

Why isn't she coming?

For obvious reasons, Leslie is taking her place.

Oh.

How do you do?

What kind of car would you use on a job like this?

Car?

Something quite big and flashy, I was thinking.

Much like a jack.

Yeah, that's it.

With a stereo.

Jack.

Where will you be staying?

Hotel. Which hotel?

Probably the big one on the cliff. The Royal.

It's great. It's got everything.

Balconies, colour TVs, private bathrooms.

You and Andrea are quite intimate.

So to make this look convincing, you and Officer Reynolds would have to share

the same room.

We would have to, yeah.

Twin bets.

Double?

Oh, who pays for everything?

Well, you do, don't you?

I mean, who physically pays, though? Tell. Oh, I see, yeah.

I do.

In cash?

Yeah, in cash.

I always pay in cash.

Right. Well, I think I'm going to need about 3 ,000 pounds.

for this hour, will you?

Thanks very much.

once you leave London, isn't it?

Can't seem to find Radio 1 on this thing.

Oh, that's Radio 2, isn't it?

Which do you like, 1 or 2?

I don't mind.

I think I like Radio 1 better.

It's usually on 285.

Oh,

that's it? Oh, great, reggae.

I love reggae.

No woman, no crash.

Imagine. Steiner cancer at 36.

Poor bloke.

How old are you?

I'm 28.

Had a check -up?

Where are you going?

8303. It's the pretty route.

Why? I always go this way.

If I go on the motorway, I usually nod off and then crash.

You can usually pick up Rodeo Basingstoke around here.

Nah.

It's Rodeo's crap.

What are you doing?

Just getting some tapes.

And I'll have that auto number one.

Have you seen Thriller?

Yeah. That's the one he wore in the video.

Really?

It goes really nice with the polo neck, you know.

Yeah.

Oh, hi, Harv.

What do you think?

They've got it in blue and white as well.

I don't know.

Let's go have a look in the light.

I thought I might need it down there, you know.

It gets a bit nippy in the evenings.

I think we ought to get to know each other a bit better, don't you?

Yeah, that's a good idea.

I was born in Kent. Where were you born? I was born in Kent, too.

That's interesting.

It's a great county.

Where were you born, Harv?

Andover. That's a funny place, isn't it?

Tell me, what do you think about scuba diving?

Apparently it's quite a fast -growing sport.

You can't swim.

Oh, I love swimming.

I was in a school team.

It's the only thing I was really any good at. Yeah, I thought you had a

swimmer's build. First thing I noticed about you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm not really muscly. I've just got big lungs.

You've got big lungs.

No, I'm all muscle.

Do you have a tape on there?

Beauty. Famous.

Supergraph. Dead.

Toaster.

Police.

Driving licence.

Don't have one.

What? I haven't got one.

Shit. Pants. Shut up, Dennis.

Tell him we're on holiday.

Hi, we're going on holiday.

Oh, yeah?

Where's that, then?

France? No, no, wet country.

You know, cream tea, surfboarding, all that.

No, you see, the reason I said France is because I thought you might be getting

in some practice, you know, for driving on the wrong side of the road.

Name?

Dennis Carter.

Dennis Carter.

I'm going to show you something, Dennis.

What's that, Dennis?

White line.

White line?

A white line, yes.

Now, in France, going that way, they would drive on

this side of the road, the right side.

But in Angleterre, Monsieur Dennis, we still drive on the... Left.

Left! The left!

Correct! But you... We're driving on this side of the road, when you should

been driving on this side of the road.

Comprenez -vous, Monsieur Dennis?

You must be the funniest copper in the world.

What did you say?

He says he's very sorry, officer, and he'll never do it again.

Documents? In the post.

In the post.

Can't you speak for yourself?

Yes. Yes.

I don't like you.

Now, I could have been difficult with you, Dennis.

But instead...

I'm going to be unreasonably difficult.

Get out the car.

Hello.

Could I have a look at that, please, sir? You're looking at it.

Well, do you think I could have a quick word with you?

What are you up to?

It's confidential.

I see.

It's just that... Is there something undercover?

You know, a secret operation or something?

I can't tell you.

It's just that, you know, if you told me which case it was... See, the thing is,

I know this area pretty well, and I could probably help you out, you know.

No, we're OK, thanks.

Is it drugs?

It's none of your business.

Oh, how do you get into plain clothes?

See, I'd love to work undercover.

I've applied three times, but they don't seem to want me, you know. But the

thing is that I feel somehow that I'd make a really good detective, you know.

I'm sorry, it's not my problem.

Now, maybe I could just come with you, you know, sort of hang around, you know,

because then at least I'd be mixing with people, you know, who could maybe help

me. I mean, come on. I mean, somebody must have helped you when you first

started out, didn't they?

No, sorry.

I see.

Well, thanks for all your help.

Sorry if I held you up.

Must be really irritating when you're doing an important undercover operation

be held up.

Just doing my job, sir.

Yes, well, it's been nice meeting you. Thank you very much. Car keys.

That's nice of him, isn't it?

Do you think he's going to do that all the way to Hope Cove?

Take the next left, Danny.

What for?

Only leave for a village.

Turn left.

OK.

Next right.

Fuck.

Okay Dennis, I'll drive now.

Okay.

We've lost him, Harv.

Well done, Harvey.

Yeah, nice bit of driving, Harvey.

It says no stopping on this road, Harvey.

You better send an accident unit and also an ambulance. Over.

Roger. Right.

Won't keep you long, mate.

Just been a little accident.

I suggest you switch your engine off.

Oh, it's a real black spot, this.

Number of times I've seen this happen. I've seen some horrible accidents along

here. You see, what happens is they come hammering along this straight, not

realising that this is in fact a very sharp corner. And, of course, what

is... BAM!

Sir, can I help you?

Yeah, we booked a couple of rooms.

What was the name, please, sir? Sorry?

Name, please.

Dennis. Carter.

Oh, yes, a single and a double.

We require £50 deposit. Is that OK, sir?

Yeah, yeah. No worries.

Would you like breakfast in bed?

Not half.

Um, is that all right with you, love?

That's perfect

Sure. Don't mention it.

It's nice here, isn't it?

It's a lovely view.

Are we going to unpack first?

Well, I am.

Right, well, I will too, then.

Do you want to use the big drawer or the little ones?

I don't mind.

I like the little ones.

Then I'll keep my socks and knickers in one drawer and my pallet necks in the

other. Fine.

So this is it, is it?

This is where it's all going to happen.

This is where we're both going to arrive from out there.

More up here with a massive shipment of drugs. Then we're going to sweep down in

Nickham.

Subject to natural disasters, yeah.

All right.

So here with Andrea.

You've checked in. You're poised for action. What next?

Well, nice walk.

Spot of sunbathing.

Maybe a swim. Do you fancy a swim?

We'll do the nice walk.

Yeah. You ever taken drugs, Dennis?

Yeah, I've taken heroin a couple of times.

Didn't do anything for me.

So what's the amount you're expecting on the next drop?

A lorry load, at least.

Must be quite a big boat, then.

Yeah.

Or a small lorry.

Waiter.

Another one of these, please.

Thank you.

Cigar? No,

I love travelling, don't you?

I mean, it's a big world, isn't it?

And I always think, you know, life's very short.

You get married, you have kids, you get old, and then you die.

It's a bit of a gamble, really, isn't it?

You've got to be lucky.

But then again, I don't think they'll catch up with me in Sri Lanka.

Why not?

Because I grow a moustache.

I could grow a beard, I could, but I always think people with beards have got

something to hide, you know.

You ever grown a beard, Harvey?

No.

No?

Nor have I.

Oh, yeah, that's lovely.

Yeah, thank you.

How's it been with you this season, then? Busy?

Not bad. A bit varied, you know.

Yeah, I can imagine, yeah.

In the hotel trades like that, it's up and down all the time. You get a slack

period, then you get a busy period.

Yeah.

Yeah, you do, don't you?

Definitely.

I'm constantly surprised.

Sometimes this place is full of people, then there's no -one.

It varies, then?

All the time.

Well, it's certainly a very nice hotel you've got here. Thank you.

Well, it's a pleasure to have you. I hope you have a very pleasant holiday.

That's very nice of you to say so.

Thank you very much.

Nice guy.

Doesn't this video make you tired?

Another mint, Harvey?

No, thank you.

I think it's time for bed.

Yeah, I think that as well.

You turning in, Harvey?

Been a while.

May I go to the bathroom first?

Yes, yes.

Which side of the bed do you want to sleep on?

The middle.

Which side do you want?

I don't care.

I'll sleep on the left, if you like.

Okay.

I'm sure that a lot of people like me are looking forward to seeing you again

the autumn.

Another series of very naughty boys.

But meanwhile, let's get back to the music. Here's Ted Willis Orchestra.

And don't stop doing that thing to me.

Good night then.

Dennis,

I'm not going to have sex with you if that's what you're thinking.

Oh, God, no.

That'd be so stupid, wouldn't it?

Yes?

Bed and breakfast.

It's very late, isn't it?

Quarter past eleven.

That's right.

It's raining.

Well, I have one left, but it is... I'll take it.

I'll take it.

Here we are.

The bed, the basin, the chair, the wardrobe.

Breakfast at eight.

All right, good night.

Champagne, Harvey.

He doesn't drink.

Leslie? Sorry.

Andrea?

Dennis. Yeah.

This is Laurie.

Where is he going to pick up the shipment?

On this beach here, I should think.

On the other hand, there could be a secret tunnel they could use.

Where? Well, I don't know, but I was told there is one round here that leads

a farm.

Apparently, it's an old secret wartime tunnel that was used by submarine crews

who didn't want to be seen getting in and out of their submarines.

What do you reckon? Shall we go and have a look for it?

I'll come with you, Dennis.

He's leaving chalk marks around the town.

Yes.

Yes, and now he's got us looking for a submarine nest.

No, it's a waste of time, sir.

Well, he's spending money like water.

Don't be a wet blanket, Harvey. Stick it out for a few more days.

You never know.

God willing, something might turn up.

Do that again. I shall take you out to sea and drown you.

Where'd that fat bastard spring from, son?

How did I know? Stop blabbering, will you?

Why, what did he say to you? He said he was going to drown me.

Yes, yes, yes, apart from that. Did he ask you anything about us?

No.

I just took my pay.

Will you shut up talking about your spade?

I paid for it.

Why are you being so horrible to us?

We're only acting like normal children.

Listen, you're being paid to do as you're told and not go around making big

scenes on the beach.

Well, what are we being paid for?

Our agent said we're coming here to model a new race.

kiddies' clothes.

So? Well, so far, we've seen no kiddies' clothes and no camera.

Yeah, well, I'm waiting for the light, aren't I?

Right, go on, get the bed.

I'm hungry.

Well, here's some chocolates.

Now, get the bed.

Chocolates are bad for your teeth. Yeah, so's a smack in the mouth. Now, get in

there.

I love this place.

Sea air, friendly atmosphere.

I like coming here even when I'm not smuggling drugs. Keep your voice down.

Hi, Jim.

Oh, hello, Dennis.

How's the boat?

Oh, it's good. It's very good.

What are you doing here, then?

Ah, this and that.

Oh, yeah.

I can see that.

So, uh, what have you been doing, then? Oh, you know me, Dan the usual.

Smuggling heroin.

What? Yeah, cut the tons worth.

I sold most of it to the kids down by the primary school.

Really? Yeah.

I tell you what, you want to try some? I've got a sack left.

No, it's okay. We're, uh... Going for a drink.

You're an awful wally sometimes.

You're an awful wally, innit, eh? I tell you what, there's a disco tonight. You

want to come?

Eh?

In the wild, both for you.

And the vineyards, both for you.

and don't forget ladies and gentlemen on the some of this month is young farmers

dinner and disco at baptist village hall so i expect to see you all there with

your dancing shoes all right now right now this is especially for mary on her

birthday so here it is mary

i

thought you might be here Oh, you did, did you?

Audrey, innit?

Andrea. Yeah, but Dennis was telling me all about you. Was he?

Here we go.

There you go, Har. Your tomato juice with all the trimmings.

Who's he?

Oh, that's Jim. He's a fisherman.

I'd really like to dance with you.

Okay.

Hold this, Owen. Dennis.

I think you're really beautiful, Audrey.

It's Andrea, thank you. Right.

Did you see one of them?

No, it's a good bloke, Jim.

I should think it's probably too kind to be a member of an international drugs

ring.

Sure.

Right now, I've got a red Cortina blocking the road out there.

Registration number is... Andre, listen, I've got to make love with you tonight.

Yeah, Dennis, want to score some dough, eh?

How much?

Oh, it's 20 quid a quarter. Good stuff, though, my Robin.

Let me 20 quid, Dennis.

Yeah, of course.

That's me, then. That's quite a wedge you've got there, son. Want to buy a

eh?

Come on. Come on in, girls. All pick yourself a party.

Here we go, then.

Any idea where he got this?

No idea.

He wants to dance, doesn't he?

Yeah. Right.

Hey, babe.

You go your way.

You want to dance?

And I'll go mine.

Go on.

That's one of them. But in the meantime... They're all about 16.

for some real dancing music. So I want you all to give a big warm welcome now,

please, for Dave Pearce!

Had

a

good group, didn't you, Dennis?

Should have been dancing, Harvey. It was fun.

Well, I did, did I?

What's happened to our drinks?

Oh, well. I'll get some more.

Another tomato juice, huh?

How come you don't drink? You a Muslim or something?

No, I'm a Buddhist monk.

Oh.

Twat.

I think you're cracking up.

Shut up.

You're enjoying all this, aren't you?

What am I supposed to do? Act like a misery? Oh, pickle.

Grab hold of yourself, Harvey, before you blow everything.

What?

I was just thinking in how trusting you are.

I mean, how do you know I won't run away in the middle of the night?

I'm glad I'm sleeping with your bollocks in my hands.

Right!

Well... All right, I think it's time to start the raffle for the sherry now. And

then where's Mrs. Goodchild?

I'm sorry you and Harvey aren't getting on too well, Leslie.

OK, Dennis.

Do you think it was something I said?

Maybe I should go and apologise.

He'll be all right. He's just drunk, that's all.

You think he'll be all right on his own?

Yes, Dennis.

Can you turn my light out, Dennis?

Oh, Harvey.

Get up, Dennis. We're going for a walk.

What, before breakfast?

Now.

What you're telling us now, Dennis, is that a submarine is going to signal you

with three dots and two dashes. Yeah, the letter D. D for Dennis.

And you're waiting here right on this beach?

Yeah, um, just over there.

I've had enough of it.

That little bastard called me half one more time. Half?

Don't, Harvey.

This is the best vantage point about here.

Now listen to me, you little moron. I don't want to hear any more shit about

submarines or secret tunnels. Is that clear?

Yes, Harvey.

I just want some straight answers from you, Dennis. All I want's a name. The

name of the person who first contacted you.

It was a man.

What man?

A Mexican. I don't know his name.

A Mexican.

A Mexican walks up to you in the street, Dennis, and says, Hello, do you want to

get yourself involved in a drugs ring? Very hard to turn down, I think, wasn't

it, Dennis?

What do you look like?

Dark. Sort of loose -fitting clothes.

And he had a patch over one eye.

No parrot?

No. But I had a scar down one side of his face. Oh, he had the scar then, did

he? Where did you meet him?

I met him here.

What, just here?

On the beach.

Where on the beach?

Show me, Dennis. Show me the spot. The exact fucking spot.

Oh, it was, uh... It was just over here.

I don't know what to say.

Dear God, thank you for sending me an underground chamber full of

evidence.

I know, God, that all events are preordained.

But please help me to catch these evil men and bring them to the old Bailey,

that they may be sent down forever and ever.

to keep you, Harvey.

Wonderful news.

We can thank God for this.

Sure.

Oh, Troy's already here.

Sorry, have I read what?

The Power and the Glory by Graham Greene. It's a wonderful book.

No, it's really about the gap between one's conscience and one's religious

beliefs.

Well, I'll see if I can get a copy. Is it in paperback?

Kind of chamber under the feet, depending on what motor, what speed and

transmitter. Imagine.

Right to tell, isn't it?

Why can't I stay here?

You know why.

Dennis?

Coming.

There was no hot water this morning.

The pilot had gone out.

It's the same every operation, isn't it?

I end up sleeping in the car, see? And all because Robinson thinks I'm too fat

to pounce around pretending to be a drug dealer.

He's convinced that all drug pushers are skinny.

Stupid fucker.

Is this Troy?

Detective Sergeant Troy.

How do you do?

Rain forecast.

Sunny periods.

So, you're the super squealer.

I'm Dennis.

Dennis the Menace.

Come here.

Close up.

Accommodation good enough for you, is it?

It's fine.

Food all right?

It's good too.

You served me up an egg this morning.

It wasn't cooked.

Must imagine I'll eat anything just because I'm fat.

I don't think you're fat.

I think you're just very well built.

Do you do a lot of running, Squealer?

Yeah, quite a bit.

Good.

Who's that quack wondering about?

How should I know?

Maybe it's Bradham.

He should be here by now, shouldn't he? Oh, calm down, will you? He'll contact

us when he's ready.

I'll get you straight, son.

I mean, all this hanging about is making me feel a bit wiggy.

You should count yourself lucky, pal. You're not the one who has to wear a bra

and suspenders.

It's really uncomfortable.

You should try it.

You've got the legs for it, don't you?

What's so special about my legs?

They're just longer than yours, that's all.

Don't tease me like that, Gunter.

Well, don't look then.

I can't help it.

I love suspenders even on you.

Well, don't start trying to get randy again, pal.

I don't know what's got into you, Wong.

You never used to be like this.

Like what?

This queer game you keep playing.

I can't sleep properly at night now in case you try something on. Oh, do leave

it out, Gunter.

No, I want to have this out.

You've never been like this before on any of our previous drug runs.

Yeah, well, you've never worn silk stockings before, have you?

I told Andrea I was a drug smuggler.

She didn't fancy me because she thought I was too law -abiding.

It was just a story to impress her. I just wanted her to get down here for the

weekend.

Next thing I know, I'm driving a fast car with three grand in my pocket.

It all became a bit of a laugh, really.

Well, it's certainly cracking me up, Dennis.

It's the truth, I promise.

You are a fucking moron.

And so is Robertson.

I told you he was clinically insane.

What about Jim?

Our little squealer here stuck a knife in his neck, didn't you?

That'd be stupid.

Pardon? How did you meet him?

He left me his boat.

What for?

To rob some money out of the sea.

What money?

I wrapped up somebody in a parthian bag.

It was to impress Andrew that I was getting paid off.

How much?

30 quid.

30 quid? That is impressive.

It was all I had.

Is it still there?

I think so.

Well, let's hope for your sake it is.

You drug -peddling bastard!

Eh? Thought you'd squeal your way out of a life sentence, did you? Eh?

Well, I don't care what you say.

I just want to beat you to a pulp.

Eh?

And shoot your heart.

Accidentally give out? Well, there isn't a judge in the country who would blame

me.

So, tell me, squealer.

When is this boat coming?

Look, I know this sounds unconvincing.

Tell us, Dennis.

There is a boat.

When's it coming, Squealer?

Come on.

What's it look like?

Colour.

White. Oh.

White boat, is it? When's it arriving, this white boat?

Eh, Squealer?

Seven.

Should have done that a week ago.

You were the last one to check it. Well, it was there yesterday.

Oh, yeah? Well, that's funny, isn't it? It ain't there today.

Are you implying something, pal?

Yes. One of us two is a lying motherfucker, and it ain't me.

Well, it's no me neither.

Oh, well, that's really funny, isn't it, eh? Someone sees a squeezy bottle out

in the ocean and thinks, hello, there's half a million quid tied to it. A bit

bloody unlikely, wouldn't you say?

Yes, very unlikely.

Stop copying me all the time. Oh, you're so goddamn original, are you, you guilt

-ridden gay boy?

I am not!

this blue -eyed outrage.

Oh, where's the money gone? In fact, you're such a good actor, you should be

films. Oh, yeah? You think so? Yeah, yeah, but you'd better stick to profile

shots because you're only going to have half a face left.

Oh, yeah? Well, let me see you do it, you broke -a -down old drag queen.

Do you know what? I was going to kill you even if you hadn't taken the money.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, that's exactly what I was going to... I was going to

you too.

Yeah, but do you know why I was going to kill you? No, why?

Because you're over...

Thanks, Harvey.

I don't understand you, Dennis.

There's one question I want to ask you.

Oh, look, I made it all up, Harvey.

That's not the question.

Did you make love with Leslie?

Yes.

Are you in love with Leslie?

Oh, dear.

Does she love you?

I don't know.

Why don't you ask her?

Ask her what?

Is it private or something?

No. We're just having a truth game, that's all.

No, we're not.

Truth game, yes. Let's play a truth game.

We'll have to find out what's going on around here.

Who's got the next question?

Harvey.

Right, did you lie about the money, Dennis?

No, I didn't.

OK, it's my turn. Leslie, did you know that Harvey was madly in love with you?

What?

Did you know?

It's none of your business.

It's a truth game.

You said you wanted to play.

All right, yes, I did.

Right, it's your turn.

If you're in love with me, Harvey, why did you leave?

Because you slept with Sergeant Peacock.

Your turn, Harvey.

Why'd you do that? Because I was tired of you trying to suffocate me the whole

time. What do you mean?

You just wanted me to mother you, Harvey. Hang on, hang on.

It's my turn, Leslie.

Right. Now, that first morning when we came to the hotel and you said you

weren't going to have sex with me, did you want to, really?

No. Oh.

I did.

Your turn.

Was that the first woman you ever slept with?

Yes. Harvey?

to play a duet with me, Mr. Toy.

Thank you.

But you can't go.

Great, isn't it?

Okay, I've got a good one.

Leslie, who's got the biggest knob?

Me or Harvey?

You have.

I don't believe it.

Come on, let's see it.

Fuck off. I'm not giving it out.

No, it's your turn.

All right, Leslie.

What we used to make love.

Did you ever fake your orgasm?

Yeah.

Yeah, I've got another one. When you go to the toilet and you wipe your bum, do

you look at the paper afterwards?

Leslie's go.

When you used to go down on me, Harvey, did you do it because you wanted to or

were you just being polite?

I did it to make you happy.

Okay.

Someone guess how many times I masturbate a day.

Did you cry when you left me?

You can have his room tonight, Dennis.

Your hand's behind your feet.

What are you going to do to me?

You're going to die, Brabham.

That's what.

Brabham, my name's not Brabham.

Oh, well, you're sitting here with our money and you're telling us you're not

Brabham. Well, who are you then?

I'm a police officer.

That's my idea on that chest there.

Oh, yeah.

I'll be Duncan.

That's you, isn't it?

That's right.

And I've been expecting you punks to turn up for quite some time.

So how did you get on to us then, Harvey?

A super grass.

What does grass tell you then?

There's a shipment arriving in Hope Cove.

When?

Tomorrow.

Shit. What will you do now?

I'm quite happy to kill a policeman.

Okay then, do it. I don't care.

You'll do me a favour.

I'm going to die of cancer in six months anyway.

Well, that's all right then, isn't it?

What's

happened?

It's that weird family in the beach house.

The kids.

Oh, no.

Shut the fuck up!

No drugs here, sir.

I'm sorry about all this, Harvey.

You cut up the wrong boat.

Yeah, well, don't know, innit?

Harvey?

What?

Nothing.