All language subtitles for The Carbonaro Effect s03e07 Speed Thieves

Okay, here's what we're doing.

Made up a fake startup company called
100sellittous .com.

It's like we remove your junk, you know,
and we sell it online for you. So I

called around and got some people to
help me with this new company, and we're

going to do it here in this den.

Ready?

Get it.

Let me get a barrel. Can you open that
up? Yeah, sure. We'll make like a

thing. All right, you know, throw some
stuff out. Right. Stuff to throw away.

Okay. And I will start to look at some
of the things we have.

That's great.

Okay. So we'll keep an item as I just
have the clock.

I write down baseball mitt. We're going
to want to keep that.

Yeah, that you can definitely throw.

Okay, so that's in the keeper pile.

And what is that?

Amazing guanji pet.

Guanji pet?

It's still in the package. Look.

Kind of cool. I mean, it was $1 at some
point.

$1. Amazing warranty. I mean, this is
from, I'm going to guess, the 70s. Yeah?

From the art.

I can even see if I can find a date.

It's kind of in the tradition of a pet
rock. You know how they have those

silly... Oh, I see. So, you don't know.
You might get a newt. You might get a

lizard. You might get an elephant.

So, okay.

People might dig that.

What do you think? Well, let's see the
conditions because this is really dirty.

Yeah, that's the only thing.

Oh.

Is it nasty? It's nasty, dude. Look at
that.

Oh.

Yikes. That's garbage for sure.

What is that? Somebody did not care for
the guanji. Oh, this is like those rip

-off things.

Oh. You know, from the comic books?
Yeah.

Oh, God. What are those things called?
The ocean monkeys or whatever they make

little? Oh, it smells bad, too.

I would say that looked like it at one
point was a lizard.

Because you see it has a little paws or
a little feet.

That's disgusting.

Not that.

We're not going to sell that. We're not
going to sell that. Okay, good.

Some coffee?

You didn't bring this in?

No, that's not mine. Okay, this is
probably from the 70s, too.

Can you imagine?

That is not mine, I promise.

Those are probably trash. That's the
thing with the guanji.

Oh,

it hit that thing.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What? What was that?

I don't know.

Feel that.

It hit that little... The guanji? Yeah.

You know what?

That's what I'm saying, like you put it
in water or something.

What?

Oh, my God.

Dude. That's an actual animal.

He's alive.

It cannot be alive. It must be like a
growing thing. No, it's alive.

It's not alive. It is.

It's a living animal. It grew.

It's alive. It activated it.

Dude. That's not real.

It's alive.

It's blinking. It just turned its head.

What?

Dude, that's a living, like, is it
alive?

It's alive!

Come on. Should we pick it up and, like,
look underneath and see if there's,

like, a battery or something?

Yeah, yeah.

It's probably some kind of capillary
action and it moves a little. Okay, this

what I'm going to do. I'm watching the
eyes. I'm going to see if it blinks.

Okay. All creatures have to blink. Even
lizards?

Yeah.

Oh, it blinks. It did?

It's real. I mean, unless it activates.
It's activated.

Like, unless a blink activator does
that, too. A blink activator? What is

Like, in other words, if it's wringing
out moisture, like, it would go, you

what I mean?

Wow.

I've never seen anything like this. It's
got to be a toy.

It might be fake, but it's just super
real -ish.

Do you think maybe it's moving with the
carbonaro effect?

Okay, that could be.

Do you know what that is? The Carbonaro
Effect?

What is that?

Oh, the Carbonaro Effect is the name of
a hidden camera magic TV show.

Oh.

And you're on that show right now.

Oh, Carbonaro.

Are we on a TV show? I'm a magician.

We're on a TV show right now.

And you are holding a real lizard.

This is a real lizard? That's a real
lizard. No.

Yes. Are you Michael Carbonaro? I'm
Michael Carbonaro.

Son of a bitch, I know you. You do?

How?

Like, you had a familiar look?

I have a TV show on TruTV called The
Carbonaro Effect.

Oh, okay. Where people are shown
something that couldn't possibly be

see if they'll believe in it.

Oh, my God.

That's so cool.

And you know you're still holding a live
lizard, right? He is alive?

He's alive. Is he really? He's real. Oh.
It's not a toy from the 70s.

Oh, my God, dude.

You're amazing.

You're awesome.

Okay.

Maybe this box of junk here. What do we
got in here?

What's your name?

Caleb. Caleb.

Oh, man.

You remember those?

Nostradart came of death thing. I don't
remember those. Were they like the

cheating darts or something? I think so.
It was like that it was weighted on the

front.

Yeah, that's definitely weighted. You
can feel it?

Throw one, right?

Yeah. Oh, here. Yeah.

That's thick.

Perfect. No way to leave it. Leave it.
It looks like it angled down. Really?

I mean, I kind of love it.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, here. Throw another one.

That's probably what it is. It weights
it down, so if you can make it 13. Oh, I

thought it was 6 again. I'm like, oh,
they all hit 6 or something now.

That would be 15.

All right, ready? Watch me.

I'm going to beat you.

So basically, something with this
natural darts, it has to do something

wishes and fortune telling or something.
Oh, really? Yeah, so I think these have

little, like, fortunes in them or
something.

Yeah, pop it open.

You think so? I mean, is this a one
-time deal? It doesn't matter. I'll buy

them. It doesn't matter. I mean, he said
if you find some old something.

Oh, I see. It's got, like, a scroll.

Thirteen.

So it answers. Let's see if this one
says six, then. No, that can't happen.

Well, let's see.

Yeah, it does.

Is it really? Yeah.

What's it like?

Six.

Wow. It, it, uh, like, the size of our
line is different.

All right, now we got it.

Pull it out. Yeah, Mike, here you go.

Fifteen.

Say fifteen?

Yeah. Come on.

How does it know that?

Let me see that.

All right, so we get all three?

Yeah. Oh, here's one. Oh, yeah.

I wonder what that one said.

Blank wall.

I guess we should see.

Whoa.

Hit wall?

That's what it is.

That's what it is. They took them off
the market because they would know the

outcome. I don't understand how my
name's on there.

Caleb Wayne.

Oh, because mine, because you threw, at
least you got three in the dartboard.

Yeah, but how is my name on a piece of
paper?

I think it just knows who wins the game.

Right. It's just so strange that my name
appeared on there to me.

It's not like a Joe or John.

I know a bunch of Caleb. Do you? I know
a couple, you know, it's like a crazy

combination. That's probably what it is.
They probably made a lot of them with

like common names back then or
something. It's probably an older name.

Well, yeah, that thing creeps me out.

Not gonna lie. Well, I think it'd be
weird if it said my name.

Yeah, you would too. You'd be like, what
the hell is this thing? Yeah, but I

didn't win, so.

You only threw one, though. I threw
three.

Yeah, you nailed it. That's why you won.

Yeah, strange.

Hang on one second. Let me go upstairs
and see if they want us to, how much I'm

going to pay her for that, because I
feel bad we opened them.

Right. All right, hang on.

There, you come on up here and put that
together. We'll put them in there.

Come here, you.

Oh, he's so huge.

Yeah, bunny breeding is a huge business.

See how much it's jacking up?

It's put together?

Yeah, because this is just... Perfect.

Look at that little dude.

Hi, bunny.

Those are some big ears, right?

Mm -hmm.

The feet are big.

Feet are very big. The ears are very
big, both sides.

That's when they bring it upstate.

To mate.

To mate, yeah. Yeah.

So here we go. We'll put him inside
there.

There he goes.

He's good, right? Yeah.

Aw.

Little buddy.

Hi, little buddy.

Hey, little buddy.

How does this go?

Yeah. I can take it from here.

Oh,

it goes on the outside?

Yeah, there we go.

Perfect.

Perfecto. And that's nice and secure.

We don't mess around.

No, we do not mess around.

So, right, yeah, right, bunny cage.

Good. And, um, all right. So cute,
right?

Are you comfortable carrying that?

Yeah. Okay, cool. Let's take that
upstairs.

Get that with me.

Great. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh!

Oh, shoot.

How in the f*** does that happen?

Oh, my gosh.

Dude, it went through. It changed.

Oh, my gosh.

Just there. Hold on, bunny. Hold on,
bunny.

Broke right out the bottom.

Wow.

I've never seen anything like that.

You never saw that?

Oh, my God. Yeah, this bunny clearly has
gone through puberty.

I've never seen anything like that. You
never saw that? That's amazing.

Yeah, nature, right?

That's amazing.

Hey, I'm Michael Carbonaro, and we're
here at the Navy Pier in Chicago tasting

some of the best... Oh, sorry, I forgot
what show we were doing for a second

there.

But I am at the Navy Pier. Let's eat
something.

Cart food.

Yum.

Hi. Hey. How are you? What do you have
over here?

I have $3 nuts.

Oh, yeah.

And a bag of chips and a bag of soda.

Nice. What are they, like, candied nuts?

Yes. Oh, sweet.

And I have, like, hot stuff. What is it?
Just in case somebody wants, like,

spicy nuts, you can, like, add that on
there. Oh, really?

Yes. All right. I'll try some nuts.
Okay.

How much is they? It's $3. $3? Yes.
Great.

All right.

I love that smell.

You know?

That candied nut smell.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Oh, getting me fresh kinds.

Awesome.

That's great.

How do you not just sit here all day
eating them?

I can't do that. You can't do it?

I wouldn't sell any. I would just eat
them all.

No, I can't do that.

All right. Here you are.

Awesome.

Yeah.

Um, yeah.

Pretty good.

You know, they don't, kind of don't
have, like, a lot of kick, you know?

What do you mean?

They don't have, like, a lot of flavor,
you know, like, a lot of kick. I like it

spicy, kind of. Oh, well.

That stuff?

That's the stuff? Yeah.

Mmm.

What is it?

Um, it's a spice. A spice? Yeah.

You're supposed to put, like, a lot on?

I guess you can put on as much as you
need.

Yeah? That's a yes.

All right.

It tastes really good.

Whoa.

Okay. No more. Okay.

That is good.

Maybe a tiny bit more?

No. I'm going to do it like this.

Thank you.

I want to be friendly, but not too
friendly. Like, would you sit next to

want someone to leave the seat open. I
want someone to just sit here.

I'll be nice.

Have you decided what you want?

Yeah, can I get, um, do you have soup?

Yeah, we have wonderful homemade chicken
noodle soup.

Chicken noodle?

Mmm, yeah. Very good.

That's on the menu, isn't it?

It's the soup of the day.

Is that rice in it? No, no, just
noodles. Noodles, chicken, a little

Yeah. There you go. Now, careful, it's
hot. Thank you.

All right.

That's really hot.

Does it water it down to put ice in the
soup? Is it going to, like, water it

down? It's just really hot.

Maybe. I have no idea.

Okay. I've never tried it. All right.

Trying to, like, blow cold air on it?

There's a hole in the ice, so that
helps.

Myth?

It's frozen.

You don't want this, do you?

Okay, yeah.

I'm just gonna rinse my hands off.

Uh,

could you pack the pepper?

Thanks.

This is fresh ground, right?

It doesn't look like it. No, right?

Okay.

It's hard to tell.

Yeah, right?

I don't like to look allergic to the
stuff that you grind.

Oh, you are? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, wow.

Right? So that's pre -ground, obviously.

Yeah. Yeah.

That's strong.

Yeah.

Thanks.

It's great.

What are you going to do with it?

I like stuff spicy.

Wow. You know?

Gotcha. It's just to, like, open up
the... You know how, like, wasabi does

at a sushi place? It opens up the...
Yeah, gotcha.

Oh, that's better.

I've never seen anyone do that before.

Oh, no?

No. Oh, yeah.

It's like some... Sorry.

The silverware is gone.

Dude, no. Wait a minute. No.

How the hell did that happen?

Hello, thanks for joining me in my
living room.

It's not my living room.

They put this stuff on display like
living room. It's like little sets.

It's going to be fun. Okay, I'm going to
hide you.

You can go to my pocket.

Okay, so this is the place where, you
know, we put stuff out so people can

of get a look at what it looks like when
it's in your house. You don't have to

stop just looking at stuff all piled up.
This must be it here.

Yep, this is the Roosevelt collection.

Apparently it's some of the most
expensive stuff right here, and

to be buying it tonight.

So we just want to take inventory of it.
Okay. Okay, so what's that?

Whoop.

That's been happening a bunch.

What's this here?

1 ,800?

Yeah.

Let's put that down and say Roosevelt
Tea Kettle. But I don't know what plates

he's talking about. Unless it's that?

Did that be the plate there?

1 ,500 each.

No.

Whoa.

Original Roosevelt.

Yep. Roosevelt plate.

That's them, huh?

$1 ,500 each?

Yep. Well, great. Touch them.

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, you don't use these
at a picnic, huh? No.

Wow.

Look at that.

Oh, my gosh. I don't know who, like,
would spend the money to have that. I

even though it is that old, but why
would you want that for that company?

get some serious collectors.

Yeah. Wow.

Let's close that up.

Okay, so we have one, two, three, four,
five, six plates at $1 ,500 each.

Oh, look at this.

These are all Roosevelt?

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah.

All right, so $2 ,500 for the set of
silverware.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Here we go again.

Got it browned out?

There we go.

There we go. Okay, good.

This is the tea kettle.

Oh, yeah, the tea kettle. It was here a
second ago.

Where'd it go?

Did you put it in the cabinet?

We were looking at it like just... It
was just right here.

Yeah.

That's weird.

What happened to it? I don't know.

It's just vanished.

You didn't put it in here?

The silverware is gone.

What?

Dude, what the... Are you serious, man?
Wait a minute. The silverware is gone.

Hold on a second.

What the heck just happened?

The silverware is gone.

Okay. What's going on? I don't know.
Hold on. You know what? Let me, uh...

Just hang tight for a second.

I'm going to ask my boss downstairs
because they've been, you know, it's got

be something with that light.

That is so weird.

They were talking about these things
going in and out.

Blake, they're gone.

Huh?

There were six plates. Oh, okay.

Something's going on. Let's go
downstairs.

Dude, no. Wait a minute. No. Dude, did
you hear that thing about speed

thieves? Is that a real thing?

I've never heard of that.

It's like the jewelry store around the
corner said that they were working and

they had like, because they heard we
were having lighting issues and they

like, watch out for lighting issues
because speed thieves will control the

and steal things. That's how they get
like diamonds and jewelry.

Do you know what I mean?

Like what?

And we were looking at a whole thing.
Yeah. Remember?

Because I just wrote it down. It's got
to be speed thieves.

We had like a whole meeting about this.

And hello?

We were looking at a whole thing. I
still remember because I just wrote it

We've just got to be speed thieves.

We had like a whole meeting about this.

Hello?

Ah!

Oh my gosh, that was so fast.

Let's get down, go downstairs, man. Come
on.

Okay, here, wait. Can you break my hands
out?

Oh my, this is so weird.

Dude.

Oh my gosh.

Did you hear that tape?

That was so... How did they do this so
quick?

Okay,

hold on a minute.

It's got to be speed thieves. They work
like that in the dark.

Come on, man. I'm telling you. Haven't
you ever heard of that? They use the

Carbonaro effect. The Carbonaro effect
is also the name of a hidden camera

TV show.

And you, my friend, are on that TV show
right now.

Are you serious?

I'm serious.

Are you serious? I'm serious.

What TV? Dude, my name is Michael
Carbonaro. Okay.

I'm a magician.

Oh, man.

I thought it was heartbeat.