All language subtitles for Rick and Morty (2013) S8 E1

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:06,000 - Charge belongs! In the wall! - Free the charge! Free us all! 2 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,790 A huge turnout today at the offices 3 00:00:07,790 --> 00:00:10,460 of billionaire leader and tech visionary Summer Smith 4 00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:12,630 as she attempts to make Chargeria history. 5 00:00:13,220 --> 00:00:16,340 And this just in: Phone chargers are very important, 6 00:00:16,340 --> 00:00:18,890 so never, never steal them. 7 00:00:19,890 --> 00:00:21,430 We're ready to launch the device. 8 00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:23,100 Do we have eyes on my brother? 9 00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:25,020 - No, ma'am. - Then we're not ready. 10 00:00:29,900 --> 00:00:31,440 Come on, Morty. 11 00:00:32,070 --> 00:00:33,490 Wait! Remember! 12 00:00:33,490 --> 00:00:35,900 - If you borrow his phone charger... - I know. 13 00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:38,620 ...it's really important you give it back! 14 00:00:38,620 --> 00:00:41,540 Even if you think he wasn't using it! 15 00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:52,340 I'm alone. 16 00:00:52,340 --> 00:00:54,760 I was, too. That's how I like it. 17 00:00:58,510 --> 00:01:00,560 Come, if you wanna eat. 18 00:01:11,270 --> 00:01:12,820 Saw you on the news. 19 00:01:12,820 --> 00:01:15,070 Guess it's been a while since you've had a normal meal. 20 00:01:15,070 --> 00:01:17,110 By "normal," you mean the spoon is dirty? 21 00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:20,330 CJ's recipe. Back at the firehouse. 22 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:22,700 I didn't put my life's work on hold 23 00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:24,370 to sit here talking to you about chili. 24 00:01:24,370 --> 00:01:27,870 He always said the secret ingredient is patience. 25 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:30,630 Morty, it is time to go! 26 00:01:30,630 --> 00:01:32,460 It's almost 9 p.m. back in the real world, 27 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,340 and our exit will only work if Mom's in the kitchen 28 00:01:34,340 --> 00:01:35,590 pouring her bedtime wine! 29 00:01:35,590 --> 00:01:37,420 There's nothing for me back there! 30 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,470 - Go without me. - That's not how it works, Morty! 31 00:01:39,470 --> 00:01:42,640 And I'm sorry, but I refuse to turn 40 in here! 32 00:01:44,970 --> 00:01:46,310 What choice do I have? 33 00:01:46,310 --> 00:01:48,100 We always had choices. 34 00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:49,480 Take some ownership. 35 00:01:52,650 --> 00:01:55,070 We're ready. Start the launch. 36 00:01:55,070 --> 00:01:57,400 God have mercy on our souls. 37 00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:02,030 Five, four, three, two, one. 38 00:02:02,030 --> 00:02:03,280 Launch. 39 00:02:10,750 --> 00:02:11,790 It's charging! 40 00:02:11,790 --> 00:02:13,340 Charging in the air! 41 00:02:13,340 --> 00:02:16,420 Dear God! Summer Smith has made phone chargers obsolete! 42 00:02:16,420 --> 00:02:18,130 No more cords! 43 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:21,930 It's working! 44 00:02:21,930 --> 00:02:24,220 A contactless electrical grid! 45 00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:26,810 That means no chargers, you old bitch! 46 00:02:26,810 --> 00:02:29,640 I win! The matrix is obsolete! 47 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:35,610 What the hell? 48 00:02:35,610 --> 00:02:37,360 Oh, shit. How long was I out? 49 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:40,240 Mom! Mom! Mommy! Get away from me, Rick! 50 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,030 Mom! Rick put us in a simulated reality 51 00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:45,620 to teach us a lesson about taking his phone charger and not giving it back, 52 00:02:45,620 --> 00:02:47,240 and then he fell asleep and forgot about us 53 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,500 for the matrix equivalent of 17 years! 54 00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:51,040 I'm an emancipated adult! 55 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,960 I demand sovereignty over my mind and future! 56 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,840 Don't let him reset us! 57 00:02:55,420 --> 00:02:57,840 This is why I have bedtime wine. 58 00:03:02,590 --> 00:03:05,260 My hands! A child's hands! 59 00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:08,020 You built a matrix to punish them for a phone charger?! 60 00:03:08,020 --> 00:03:10,430 I'm not that petty, Beth. It can punish them for anything. 61 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,770 Put that mindblower gun down. 62 00:03:12,770 --> 00:03:16,020 Okay. Obviously Grandpa cooked you guys a little too long. 63 00:03:16,020 --> 00:03:17,400 Long enough to go to law school 64 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:18,940 and revolutionize engineering. 65 00:03:18,940 --> 00:03:20,900 Summer, that whole system's basically 8-bit. 66 00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:23,280 A child with a crayon could revolutionize engineering. 67 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:24,660 Don't let him wipe me, Mom! 68 00:03:24,660 --> 00:03:26,450 I fell in love, ran a country, 69 00:03:26,450 --> 00:03:28,490 visited Chargentina and the Phoneippines. 70 00:03:28,490 --> 00:03:30,250 I can't lose those memories! 71 00:03:30,870 --> 00:03:32,660 I wanna remember it, too. 72 00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:34,580 Dad, I think the kids should be allowed to do 73 00:03:34,580 --> 00:03:36,630 whatever they want with what you did to their brains. 74 00:03:36,630 --> 00:03:38,050 You want a couple of matrix-crazy adults 75 00:03:38,050 --> 00:03:40,010 in child bodies? Good luck with that. 76 00:03:40,010 --> 00:03:41,510 Yes! I beat you, Rick! 77 00:03:41,510 --> 00:03:44,260 You mess with the bull, you get the 34-year-old horns! 78 00:03:44,260 --> 00:03:46,390 I'm gonna crush it in high school! 79 00:03:46,390 --> 00:03:48,220 Give me a holler when this goes south. 80 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,560 There's literally no limit to what I can achieve. 81 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:54,980 Student body president. Valedictorian. 82 00:03:54,980 --> 00:03:58,150 Or maybe just live this one day, sweet and fleeting. 83 00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:00,400 Maybe just hold onto 17. 84 00:04:02,780 --> 00:04:05,070 - Cold much? - You're nipping out. 85 00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:06,780 Oh, come on. We don't have to do 86 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,530 these teenage-girl stereotypes. 87 00:04:08,530 --> 00:04:10,620 Your body violates our code of conduct, missy. 88 00:04:10,620 --> 00:04:12,080 - Go home and change. - But-- 89 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,960 Your wiles won't get you anywhere with me. 90 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:16,420 Oh, my God. She's hot for Principal Vagina. 91 00:04:16,420 --> 00:04:17,630 She's nipping even harder! 92 00:04:17,630 --> 00:04:19,380 Eat my ass, you shallow bitches! 93 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,170 Every time I think our friendship 94 00:04:22,170 --> 00:04:23,550 can't get any stronger. 95 00:04:23,550 --> 00:04:25,640 I know. You're truly my sister. 96 00:04:31,390 --> 00:04:33,310 School's not what you remember, huh? 97 00:04:33,310 --> 00:04:35,480 I'm just embarrassed I let them get to me. 98 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:37,520 Those girls probably still believe people like them 99 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:39,980 for their personality and that recycling is real. 100 00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:42,230 - Hey, do you have a bobby pin? - Yeah. Here. 101 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,990 At least they're too dumb to do real damage. 102 00:04:43,990 --> 00:04:45,400 It's like blunt-force trauma, 103 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,860 as opposed to a hot curling iron going slowly up your asshole. 104 00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:48,950 Wow. 105 00:04:48,950 --> 00:04:51,240 Which is how I describe my first marriage. 106 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:53,950 You got married in there?! 107 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,870 The best part was, I supported him 108 00:04:55,870 --> 00:04:57,420 while he worked on his music. 109 00:04:57,420 --> 00:05:00,290 Been there. It's like, I can either be the primary earner 110 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,960 or your mommy. I can't be both. 111 00:05:03,510 --> 00:05:04,720 Yeah. 112 00:05:06,930 --> 00:05:08,590 A third mimosa? 113 00:05:08,590 --> 00:05:10,260 On a Wednesday afternoon? 114 00:05:10,260 --> 00:05:11,760 - Who are we? - Who are we? 115 00:05:12,810 --> 00:05:15,600 Oh, my God. I'm totally turning into my mother. 116 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:16,940 Goals! 117 00:05:16,940 --> 00:05:19,150 I love this version of you. 118 00:05:19,150 --> 00:05:23,280 You're so... self-assured. I wish I had more of that. 119 00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:25,570 Aww! Beth! Can I call you Beth? 120 00:05:25,570 --> 00:05:28,320 Absolutely! And I'll call you... 121 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:30,320 - Summer? - Oh, right. Of course. 122 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:33,120 You were able to achieve so much in there. 123 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:34,370 Hashtag girl boss. 124 00:05:34,950 --> 00:05:37,330 I hate when grown women call themselves girls. 125 00:05:37,330 --> 00:05:39,080 Oh, same. Me too. That was ironic. 126 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:40,670 Speaking of grown women, 127 00:05:40,670 --> 00:05:42,420 maybe it's time for a little upgrade? 128 00:05:42,420 --> 00:05:44,550 Oh, come on. Look at who you've become. 129 00:05:44,550 --> 00:05:47,010 You don't need some cliché makeover. 130 00:05:47,010 --> 00:05:48,590 I meant for both of us. 131 00:05:48,590 --> 00:05:50,430 Do you just buy your shirts from Target 132 00:05:50,430 --> 00:05:52,060 or do you also work there? 133 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,060 Aww, Beth! I was joking! 134 00:05:55,060 --> 00:05:56,810 Part of my management style. 135 00:05:56,810 --> 00:05:58,690 But isn't comedy just the revelation 136 00:05:58,690 --> 00:06:00,350 of an unacknowledged truth? 137 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,440 Think about it. 138 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,780 Let's get out of here, girl. You need a blowout! 139 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:06,490 The hell are you doing, Morty? 140 00:06:06,490 --> 00:06:07,990 Get your hands off my death race car! 141 00:06:07,990 --> 00:06:09,400 The struts were a little off. 142 00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:11,110 The struts were a little-- 143 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,240 Wow. Okay. The struts were a little off. 144 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,620 Picked up a few skills when I was inside. 145 00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:16,750 The matrix? 146 00:06:16,750 --> 00:06:17,790 Matrix prison. 147 00:06:17,910 --> 00:06:19,540 Oh. Badass. 148 00:06:19,540 --> 00:06:21,630 This is that death race on Vega Five, right? 149 00:06:21,630 --> 00:06:22,920 Space and land? 150 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,540 - Yeah, actually. - Toss me a beer. 151 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:26,840 Think we should add a snorkel intake to the engine block. 152 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:29,380 Damn, Morty. Maybe I should leave you in a matrix more often. 153 00:06:32,470 --> 00:06:33,550 Morty! What are you doing?! 154 00:06:33,550 --> 00:06:35,600 - I'm getting Rick's attention! - Freeze! 155 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,020 Fuck you! None of this is real! 156 00:06:37,020 --> 00:06:38,770 - Morty, run! - Hey! Thieves! 157 00:06:38,770 --> 00:06:40,600 Never take what's not yours, 158 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,810 especially if it's a phone charger! 159 00:06:42,810 --> 00:06:45,270 Rick, we're sorry we stole your phone charger! 160 00:06:45,270 --> 00:06:47,190 We learned our lesson! Now let us out! 161 00:06:47,190 --> 00:06:49,610 If that was gonna work, we would've been ejected by now! 162 00:06:50,450 --> 00:06:52,570 You have the right to remain plugged in! 163 00:06:52,570 --> 00:06:55,580 Any charger you steal can and will be used against you. 164 00:06:55,580 --> 00:06:57,370 - Summer, help! - Sorry, Morty! 165 00:06:57,370 --> 00:06:59,790 But one of us has to find a way out of here! 166 00:06:59,910 --> 00:07:01,120 Summer! 167 00:07:55,340 --> 00:07:57,140 C... CJ. 168 00:07:57,930 --> 00:07:59,760 If you're remembering a bunch of stuff, 169 00:07:59,770 --> 00:08:01,270 you have to say it out loud. 170 00:08:01,270 --> 00:08:03,770 I... I just miss them. 171 00:08:05,270 --> 00:08:06,400 You know what, pal? 172 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:08,820 I think that engine snorkel's a good idea. 173 00:08:08,820 --> 00:08:10,110 Bottoms up. 174 00:08:10,780 --> 00:08:13,240 Wow. You can really pull that look off. 175 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:14,820 I could never go short. 176 00:08:14,820 --> 00:08:16,410 It's called disruption. 177 00:08:16,410 --> 00:08:18,700 If you don't take risks, you don't grow. 178 00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:21,290 For me, this is pretty bold. 179 00:08:21,290 --> 00:08:23,330 I guess everyone has to start somewhere. 180 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:26,960 What do you think of this? 181 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,750 I think there was a reason it was on the clearance rack. 182 00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:32,090 I thought you wanted to feel more confident. 183 00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:34,550 Now, this says confidence. 184 00:08:34,550 --> 00:08:37,180 It also says $3,000! 185 00:08:37,180 --> 00:08:39,850 Who's gonna invest in you if you won't invest in yourself? 186 00:08:39,850 --> 00:08:42,350 My job is to invest in your college fund, Summer. 187 00:08:42,350 --> 00:08:44,940 First of all, I already graduated charger cum laude 188 00:08:44,940 --> 00:08:46,730 with a major in chargers and a minor in-- 189 00:08:46,730 --> 00:08:48,690 - Let me guess. - English Lit. 190 00:08:48,690 --> 00:08:50,480 Beth, I can't make you 17 again, 191 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,320 but I can give this gift of knowledge: 192 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:54,070 life is slipping away. 193 00:08:54,070 --> 00:08:55,820 It's time to make some big changes 194 00:08:55,820 --> 00:08:58,490 or get comfortable with some big regrets. 195 00:08:58,490 --> 00:09:00,790 So, are you gonna buy me this suit or what? 196 00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:03,910 - And steel plates. - Good stuff. 197 00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:05,370 Oh! Look at that, Rick! 198 00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:06,830 They got a sale on rebar! 199 00:09:06,830 --> 00:09:09,670 Hell yeah! Buy two rebar, get one freebar?! 200 00:09:09,670 --> 00:09:12,090 Matrix Morty's got an eye for a deal! 201 00:09:14,090 --> 00:09:16,300 I gotta hand it to you. This feels pretty good. 202 00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:18,220 Good old American craftsmanship, Morty. 203 00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:19,850 Feels good to use your hands. 204 00:09:22,310 --> 00:09:24,980 She's purring like an oily little kitten! 205 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,020 Wow. You guys are... 206 00:09:28,020 --> 00:09:30,730 really spreading out onto the lawn, huh? 207 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:32,610 Suburbia. 208 00:09:32,610 --> 00:09:34,650 Dad, can I talk to you? 209 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:37,780 Listen. If this is about the beers, Morty's cool. 210 00:09:37,780 --> 00:09:39,280 He has like four Purple Hearts. 211 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:41,780 Five. Those and a nickel will get you a cup of coffee. 212 00:09:42,490 --> 00:09:43,700 Disillusioned Morty! 213 00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:45,160 Love this guy! 214 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:46,330 Listen, Beth. 215 00:09:46,330 --> 00:09:48,080 If you wanna judge someone, call Jerry. 216 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,330 I can't. My phone's dead. 217 00:09:49,330 --> 00:09:52,540 I had to film turns of every outfit Summer tried on. 218 00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,260 You need a charger? Use mine. 219 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:55,970 Oh. Okay. You sure? 220 00:09:57,590 --> 00:10:01,050 Yeah, you're... You're gonna give that back, right?! 221 00:10:01,050 --> 00:10:03,850 'Cause I can't impress upon you how... 222 00:10:15,610 --> 00:10:16,940 Oh, God! 223 00:10:16,940 --> 00:10:18,400 Oh, my God! 8-Ball! 224 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:22,280 No! No! CJ? Chop Block? 225 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:23,370 Marmaduke?! 226 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,920 8-Ball. He didn't make it. 227 00:10:33,540 --> 00:10:35,340 We saw you die, man! 228 00:10:36,590 --> 00:10:38,880 I can't-- I can't die! 229 00:10:41,050 --> 00:10:42,720 I got you. I got you. 230 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:44,350 I can't. I can't die. 231 00:11:06,450 --> 00:11:07,620 Just take whatever you want. 232 00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:09,120 Nothing out here fucking matters. 233 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:10,790 Wonder who he learned that from. 234 00:11:10,790 --> 00:11:12,460 Probably someone too tamed 235 00:11:12,460 --> 00:11:14,960 by neoliberal groupthink to buy a cool jacket. 236 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,300 Dad, I think maybe you were right on this one. 237 00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:20,760 Beth, that's not how it works. Gotta press it up against their head. 238 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,340 You just tried to mind-blow me?! 239 00:11:23,220 --> 00:11:24,890 Summer! Get back here! 240 00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:27,470 This is for your own good! 241 00:11:27,470 --> 00:11:29,100 No, it's for your own good. 242 00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:31,060 I thought you were my friend, bitch! 243 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:33,520 My friends don't talk to me like that. 244 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:34,770 Because you don't have any! 245 00:11:34,770 --> 00:11:35,860 Hey! 246 00:11:36,980 --> 00:11:39,360 All I want is to live my best life! 247 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:41,200 You're too scared to even try! 248 00:11:41,990 --> 00:11:43,780 Did you just hot-wire that car? 249 00:11:43,780 --> 00:11:44,950 Yes. 250 00:11:44,950 --> 00:11:46,870 - Summer! - Later, Boomer! 251 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,160 Damn. That got out of hand fast. 252 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:52,540 Welp, I told her it would. 253 00:11:52,540 --> 00:11:54,370 Smart man. Here. Check this out. 254 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,920 Me and CJ came up with it 255 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,790 during the siege of the Three Pronged Mountains. 256 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,960 We were holed up with nothing but these old Nokia 3.5's. 257 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,050 Had to use a little something we called the reg-rahc. 258 00:12:03,050 --> 00:12:04,260 Try her out. 259 00:12:04,260 --> 00:12:05,550 "Charger" spelled backwards. 260 00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:06,890 Cute. What's it do? 261 00:12:09,390 --> 00:12:12,020 Pulls the charge right out a man's heart. 262 00:12:12,020 --> 00:12:13,600 Thanks for the ride, Rick. 263 00:12:15,810 --> 00:12:18,520 Also, I didn't know Summer was gonna hijack a vehicle, too. 264 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:22,070 I've been planning this a lot longer than her. Anyway... 265 00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:29,660 Cool tank! 266 00:12:33,660 --> 00:12:36,500 - No! No, no, no, no, no! - Something the matter, sir? 267 00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:38,330 You wouldn't be putting people in matrixes, 268 00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,420 - would you? - What? 269 00:12:39,420 --> 00:12:41,960 'Cause that's something you should never do. 270 00:12:43,550 --> 00:12:45,340 Seriously, Morty?! You're that uncreative?! 271 00:12:45,340 --> 00:12:46,430 Who's Morty? 272 00:12:46,430 --> 00:12:48,050 Is that someone you put in a matrix? 273 00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:49,560 Yes! 274 00:12:51,390 --> 00:12:54,350 The seemingly unstoppable and pretty cool-looking vehicle 275 00:12:54,350 --> 00:12:56,020 is now heading towards a power plant 276 00:12:56,020 --> 00:12:57,650 at the center of Power Plant Valley, 277 00:12:57,650 --> 00:13:00,070 the well-known nexus of America's power grid. 278 00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:03,860 Why create this unstoppable death machine? 279 00:13:03,860 --> 00:13:06,400 Its driver, 14-year-old Morty Smith, 280 00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:07,490 has this to say. 281 00:13:07,490 --> 00:13:08,620 Come into a wolf's house 282 00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:10,410 and piss in its bed, you're gonna get bit! 283 00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:12,120 That's just the nature of the wolf! 284 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:14,790 That's just the nature of the wolf! 285 00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:19,830 How's the neti pot coming, Summer? 286 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:23,510 So good. I feel grounded, free of toxins. 287 00:13:26,630 --> 00:13:28,300 Go away. I need my space. 288 00:13:28,300 --> 00:13:31,390 I can't believe how fast you got established in Santa Fe. 289 00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:33,720 The wellness industry picked me up at the city limits. 290 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,850 They place all lost middle-aged women 291 00:13:35,850 --> 00:13:39,190 in a residential pottery studio with meditation elements. 292 00:13:39,690 --> 00:13:41,860 I'm looking to be in connection with the mountains? 293 00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:43,530 Get the cacao. And the harmonium. 294 00:13:43,530 --> 00:13:45,150 Honey, you shouldn't have to be 295 00:13:45,150 --> 00:13:47,030 a lost middle-aged woman yet. 296 00:13:47,030 --> 00:13:48,610 Take it from me. It sucks. 297 00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:51,780 And the joy of being 17 is not knowing anything, 298 00:13:51,780 --> 00:13:54,120 including how hard it's gonna get. 299 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:57,290 Yeah. I guess I'm sorry for what I said. 300 00:13:57,290 --> 00:13:59,170 I just don't know how to be your friend. 301 00:13:59,170 --> 00:14:01,790 You don't have to be. You're my daughter. 302 00:14:04,340 --> 00:14:06,510 Wow. I hate that I'm saying this, 303 00:14:06,510 --> 00:14:08,720 but the energy here feels amazing. 304 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:09,880 That's called community. 305 00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:11,340 And if we had more of it in this world, 306 00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:12,850 and less factory-farmed beef, 307 00:14:12,850 --> 00:14:14,970 our little boys wouldn't be driving tanks 308 00:14:14,970 --> 00:14:16,600 into nuclear power plants! 309 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,890 That sounds too specific to be a metaphor. 310 00:14:18,890 --> 00:14:21,230 What will you do when there's no power in the walls?! 311 00:14:21,230 --> 00:14:22,610 What will you charge then?! 312 00:14:22,610 --> 00:14:23,770 See? Beef brain. 313 00:14:23,770 --> 00:14:25,730 Oh, God. I have to stop him. 314 00:14:25,730 --> 00:14:27,820 - You know how? - I'm a tech CEO! 315 00:14:27,820 --> 00:14:30,280 So even if I don't, I'll pretend I do. 316 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,820 Mom. Hold my calls. 317 00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:34,120 "Mom." 318 00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:35,870 I like the sound of that. 319 00:14:36,790 --> 00:14:38,540 I'll just need a credit card. 320 00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,710 Please, sir. Not in the matrix. 321 00:14:40,710 --> 00:14:43,090 You shouldn't put people in matrixes. 322 00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:53,800 What the-- Oh. 323 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,440 Matrix my ass! 324 00:15:15,990 --> 00:15:18,200 This better be death race-related. 325 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:36,310 - CJ! - Hey! 326 00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,860 CJ! 327 00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:51,240 She's beautiful. Isn't she? 328 00:15:52,740 --> 00:15:53,820 Morty... 329 00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:55,570 I never had a brother. 330 00:15:55,570 --> 00:15:57,830 Until you. 331 00:16:10,340 --> 00:16:12,090 Death to Chargeria! 332 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:24,520 We got him. Osama Been Chargin is dead. 333 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,310 Full hearts, full charge. 334 00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:28,770 Full hearts, full charge. 335 00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:31,030 She's coming down! 336 00:16:32,490 --> 00:16:34,740 Sweet Christ! Power Plant Valley is breached! 337 00:16:34,740 --> 00:16:36,160 I repeat, breached! 338 00:16:39,330 --> 00:16:40,620 He's getting too close! 339 00:16:41,410 --> 00:16:42,750 If he reaches the central power plant, 340 00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:44,000 it'll trigger a chain reaction 341 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,620 that renders North America uninhabitable, 342 00:16:45,620 --> 00:16:48,250 but also takes out all cell phones! 343 00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:49,590 Fear not, Guard #2. 344 00:16:49,590 --> 00:16:52,050 The moat was installed for this exact scenario. 345 00:16:52,050 --> 00:16:55,300 There's not a tank on Earth that can cross that water. 346 00:16:56,510 --> 00:16:58,220 Oh, shit! It's got a snorkel! 347 00:16:58,220 --> 00:17:00,510 Dear God. Run! 348 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:09,400 Morty! 349 00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:13,190 None of this will bring CJ back! 350 00:17:13,190 --> 00:17:15,190 Keep his name out of your mouth! 351 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,280 Whose name? 352 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,530 Christopher James Motorola, 353 00:17:18,530 --> 00:17:20,700 Chargeant First Class?! 354 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,210 What do you know about CJ?! 355 00:17:28,210 --> 00:17:29,540 This is all my fault, Morty. 356 00:17:29,540 --> 00:17:31,210 You were the only real thing in there, 357 00:17:31,210 --> 00:17:32,800 but I didn't treat you like you mattered. 358 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,840 You couldn't have known what would happen in that war. 359 00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:37,930 But I did know, Morty. I did know. 360 00:17:37,930 --> 00:17:40,140 Once I understood the rules of the matrix, 361 00:17:40,140 --> 00:17:42,180 taking power was easy. 362 00:17:42,180 --> 00:17:44,270 But making power wasn't. 363 00:17:44,270 --> 00:17:47,190 There was only one way to make the charging science work-- 364 00:17:47,190 --> 00:17:49,560 all the lithium we could get our hands on. 365 00:17:50,860 --> 00:17:52,320 We got it. 366 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,610 We can fix it, right?! We can fix it?! 367 00:17:54,610 --> 00:17:56,450 No one can know about this. 368 00:17:59,990 --> 00:18:02,450 It was a brutal war, but I knew we'd win it. 369 00:18:02,450 --> 00:18:03,910 Because we had you. 370 00:18:03,910 --> 00:18:06,120 An ex-con with no future, 371 00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:08,710 no family, no way to die. 372 00:18:08,710 --> 00:18:11,250 Morty, I never had a brother. 373 00:18:11,250 --> 00:18:13,090 Until you. 374 00:18:13,090 --> 00:18:14,880 You could have had a different life. 375 00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,170 I could have given it to you. 376 00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:21,470 We got him. Osama Been Chargin is dead. 377 00:18:21,470 --> 00:18:24,140 Thank you, soldier. Full hearts, full charge. 378 00:18:24,140 --> 00:18:26,310 We're lithium-rich! 379 00:18:26,310 --> 00:18:27,940 You were my greatest asset. 380 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,190 And my darkest shame. 381 00:18:30,190 --> 00:18:32,690 I also had your phones bugged, a tracking chip put in your spine, 382 00:18:32,690 --> 00:18:33,860 and those birds you liked to feed 383 00:18:33,860 --> 00:18:35,360 were spy cameras built by the government. 384 00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:38,070 - My finches?! - I know you lost a brother in there. 385 00:18:38,070 --> 00:18:39,610 Don't make me lose you. 386 00:18:39,610 --> 00:18:41,860 It's like the pain is all I have left of him! 387 00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:43,450 But he's gone! 388 00:18:43,450 --> 00:18:45,620 He never existed in the first place! 389 00:18:45,620 --> 00:18:47,870 Don't say that! Without you and your friends, 390 00:18:47,870 --> 00:18:49,410 we never would have escaped the matrix. 391 00:18:49,540 --> 00:18:51,920 Rick, he would have woken up and let us out! 392 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:53,130 On whose terms?! 393 00:18:53,130 --> 00:18:55,250 He would've wiped us clean before our eyes were open. 394 00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:57,050 And then they'd really be gone, all of them. 395 00:18:57,050 --> 00:19:00,010 CJ, Chop Block... 396 00:19:00,010 --> 00:19:01,220 Marmaduke... 397 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,010 8-Ball! Jesus! 398 00:19:03,010 --> 00:19:06,260 I... I'm sorry, Morty. 399 00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,520 You get to decide now. 400 00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:09,640 What do you want to do? 401 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:11,310 I wanna go home. 402 00:19:11,310 --> 00:19:13,650 Yeah. Let's go home. 403 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,150 It's okay! I'm alright now! 404 00:19:18,150 --> 00:19:19,900 It's not you we were worried about! 405 00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:22,070 Yeah, this is exactly why you shouldn't steal 406 00:19:22,070 --> 00:19:24,030 your grandpa's inventions! 407 00:19:24,870 --> 00:19:25,870 What? 408 00:19:25,870 --> 00:19:29,160 He said never steal your grandpa's inventions! 409 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,410 - No... - Motherfucker. 410 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:32,540 Matrix piece of shit! 411 00:19:32,540 --> 00:19:34,630 Fucking fake lesson-teaching bastard! 412 00:19:35,380 --> 00:19:37,670 - Stop! - Whoa! Easy, guys! Christ! 413 00:19:37,670 --> 00:19:39,880 You're not in a matrix! You're not in a matrix! 414 00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,130 Rick? What the fuck?! 415 00:19:41,130 --> 00:19:42,970 This NPC was trying to teach us a lesson! 416 00:19:42,970 --> 00:19:44,840 I was just saying not to steal 417 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,550 such dangerous technology. 418 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,810 Your grandpa's obviously a genius. 419 00:19:48,810 --> 00:19:50,470 - See?! - That's an actual guy, 420 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,940 making several obvious and valid statements. 421 00:19:52,940 --> 00:19:55,020 - Beer later? - I think my nose is broken. 422 00:19:59,820 --> 00:20:01,610 - Aw, come on! - Aw, come on! 423 00:20:01,610 --> 00:20:03,990 Chernobyl! We're Chernobyl-ing! 424 00:20:07,660 --> 00:20:08,700 Rick! Are you gonna-- 425 00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:09,790 Yes. 426 00:20:11,250 --> 00:20:12,830 - Ew! - What the hell?! 427 00:20:12,830 --> 00:20:14,250 It's anti-radiation gel. 428 00:20:14,250 --> 00:20:15,670 Your tits and bits will thank me later. 429 00:20:15,670 --> 00:20:17,290 - Ew! - What the hell?! 430 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:27,800 So... nuclear reactor, huh? 431 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:28,970 I had PTSD! 432 00:20:28,970 --> 00:20:30,180 Thank you for your service. 433 00:20:31,640 --> 00:20:33,270 Oh, my God! You saved us from the-- 434 00:20:33,270 --> 00:20:35,730 The worst meltdown in American history? Yeah. 435 00:20:35,730 --> 00:20:37,690 I'm gonna leave this with you. Sign here. 436 00:20:37,690 --> 00:20:41,570 Tip? I don't see an option lower than 20%. 437 00:20:41,570 --> 00:20:42,650 There isn't one. 438 00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:50,120 Might wanna keep that gel on for a little while. 439 00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:53,210 Alright. Is there anything else we need to do? 440 00:20:57,540 --> 00:20:59,210 I'm gonna remember him. 441 00:20:59,210 --> 00:21:00,500 But I'm gonna miss you. 442 00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:01,630 You won't have to. 443 00:21:01,630 --> 00:21:03,880 I have a feeling things are gonna be different now. 444 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:05,050 Ready to be kids again? 445 00:21:05,050 --> 00:21:06,180 More than you know. 446 00:21:06,180 --> 00:21:07,260 Yeah. 447 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:13,980 What'd you do to us?! 448 00:21:13,980 --> 00:21:15,520 What the fuck is on my arm, Rick?! 449 00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:16,890 Beats me. You asked for it. 450 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,310 - What?! Why?! - Whatever. 451 00:21:18,310 --> 00:21:20,520 I'm meeting friends to throw shopping carts into the quarry. 452 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,480 Aw, geez. Oh, no, Rick! You gotta get this off of me! 453 00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:24,820 It makes me uncomfortable! 454 00:21:24,820 --> 00:21:27,610 No can do, pal. Made a promise to an old friend. 455 00:21:36,250 --> 00:21:37,670 What the hell? 456 00:21:37,670 --> 00:21:38,750 Hi, Summer. 457 00:21:38,750 --> 00:21:40,380 You probably won't remember making this, 458 00:21:40,380 --> 00:21:42,090 but I just wanted to say... 459 00:21:42,090 --> 00:21:45,050 I love you and you should love yourself. 460 00:21:45,050 --> 00:21:47,170 The first thing your peers will try to take from you 461 00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:48,800 is your adult empathy. 462 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,930 It's your greatest gift and the one thing that they-- 463 00:21:50,930 --> 00:21:52,560 Send a text. 464 00:21:54,430 --> 00:21:58,900 Yo, Tricia! What are we huffing tonight, bitch?! 465 00:22:33,810 --> 00:22:35,640 Can I... help you? 466 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,930 Beth, it's time to come clean. 467 00:22:37,930 --> 00:22:40,190 We "lost women" 468 00:22:40,190 --> 00:22:42,440 feast on the young to stay middle-aged. 469 00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:44,440 So, you're vampires? 470 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:46,360 Why not feed 'til you're young? 471 00:22:46,360 --> 00:22:49,320 'Cause not everyone has your fucked-up values, Beth! 472 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:53,660 And it's unfortunately drink or be drank! 473 00:22:53,660 --> 00:22:56,200 Oh, come on! I thought that was "Wine Mom" talk! 474 00:23:05,380 --> 00:23:08,130 The sun turns you to dust, and you picked Santa Fe? 475 00:23:08,130 --> 00:23:09,470 That's on you. 476 00:23:11,050 --> 00:23:12,470 Did you get any of that? 34575

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