Original subtitles

- Hey, hey, you stoned motherfuckers.

It's your favorite evil bong, Ebee.

Lemme show you what happened last time.

- I'm the new owner, Lucy Furr.

All new look, all new merch.

- Why are you way hotter than you were before?

- I was never not hot!

- Whoa, dude.

- I'm back, motherfucker!

I was stuck in Sexy Hell,

no thanks to that walking boner, Rabbit.

- I just thought I'd drop by and see how it's going.

Big day, first day and all.

- I need strong backs and weak minds

to help me enslave the world.

- And you can help me sacrifice more people

so I can open a portal to Sexy Hell?

I wanna see Satan!

I'm like his number one fan.

- It's called Sexy Hell,

but you don't want no part of that shit.

- Sarah?

- You know these people?

- Hi ya, dicks. You're all lookin' a little pastry.

What, are you not happy to see me?

- The Ginger Little Dick Man!

How the hell did you get here?

- I whacked a demon in Sexy Hell

and jumped through a flaming pussy.

- Did you say, "Sexy Hell"?

- Sexy Hell, and that's where I'm going,

even if I have to whack all of you to do it.

- You're coming with me!

- No! Hey! Huh? Oh! Ah!

Hey! Hey! I'm not goin' back to that shithole!

- Who are you?

- I am Beelzebud, High Priest of Sexy Hell.

- I'm your greatest disciple.

I kneel humbly before you.

- Ebee is a conduit to the world above.

She can open a permanent portal.

- It'd be Sexy Hell on Earth!

Let's do it!

- The girls are gone.

- We need to work together!

To fight a monster,

one must create a monster.

- Oh!

- Flour!

- Brown sugar!

- For the final ingredient!

Ginger weed.

- It's alive!

- Who the fuck are you?

- Your worst nightmare:

I'm Gingerweed Man.

- Luann is mine.

- You, sir, must be weedinated.

- Oof! Oh sweetie, What are you doing there?

Oh, whoa! Oh shit!

- See what happens with teamwork?

- You losers will be working for me!

- Wait 'til I get my revenge.

It's gonna be so bad.

And sexy!

- Wait, you've done all this before?

- Young lady, Rabbit has done it all.

All!

- I'd like to propose a toast.

- To father.

- Aw.

- Thanks, uh, son?

- That's it.

- You really saved our hashes, Weedy.

You are a boopified hero!

- The fuck is that?

- Not again!

- Boop boop.

- I knew that crazy bitch wasn't finished being a bitch.

- Now what?

- Lucy Furr, she--she's trying to reopen the portal

but she isn't strong enough.

But who knows how long it'll take

for her to regain her powers?

- Hey, ain't ya gonna do something, Weedy?

Like save us or something?

- I got it!

I got it.

- What?

- It. Give me a phone!

- Here.

- There.

- There what?

- There.

- There what?

- Ladies, your chariot awaits.

- Boop!

- Oi, need a ride?

- Took you long enough.

Everybody in!

C'mon, inside! Inside!

- Boop.

Oh, Vapocup!

- Pray tell, what easterly winds

doth blow the leaves on the bough?

- Say again?

- Where are we going?

- Where would you go hide

from a over-sexed skank and a demonic overlord?

- Prophets foretell of the Valley?

- No, the other place.

- We're going to Branson?

Oh my god, I've always wanted to see dead celebrities

propped up on the stage.

- No, the other place.

We're going to Vegas!

- Vegas, motherfuckers.

- I've never heard of this

ride-share service before.

What is it?

- Splyft.

- Splyft? Why is it called that?

- Show her, driver!

- Roger Dodger.

- Road weed!

- Holy shit.

- Tonight, we take the high road.

- Cut that shit right out.

- Man, what them dicks did was fucked up.

- I know. The nerve.

- I've been so bummed, man, I ain't even

felt like havin' a orgy or nuttin'.

Sexy Hell's, like, not as sexy right now.

- There has to be a way to go back through the portal

and get our revenge on those fuckers.

- I dunno man, what's the point?

We tried.

- The point is, I have unfinished business

with those losers, and I'm going to finish it.

- Yeah, yeah.

There's no hell like an evil bitch scorned.

Except Sexy Hell, which, if I'm bein' honest,

kinda sucks right now.

No, fuck this.

You just stand there and be whack.

Imma go get my sexy back.

- I'll show you whack.

Whack right across the back of that head of yours.

- Hey, that sounds kind of sexy.

After all, this is--

- Sexy Hell. I know!

- Fuck yeah! Ooh.

- They haven't heard the last of Lucy Furr.

- Oh, hell yeah, motherfuckers.

Look at this shit.

Oh yeah, I'm a queen motherfuckin' bong.

That's right.

It's even on the billboard.

Rabbit, wake the fuck up.

- Hey everybody, wake up!

We're here!

Vegas, baby!

- Whoa.

- Light-o light!

Oh, look.

Oh look, Weedy?

Look! It's that!

- I wanna roll some dice.

- I want to roll some joints.

- Now we talkin'.

- Ancient ones foretell of great fortune

to be divined from a steady hand and the rolling of bones.

- What the fuck she say?

- We can make a shit ton of money here.

- Rabbit wanna grab it.

Rabbit wanna grab it all.

- Ain't nothin' about that bimbo that's "all right."

- Hey, I got an idea.

- Aw shit, here we go.

- What's Vegas known for?

- Gambling.

- Nope.

- High-priced weed?

- Nope.

- Hookers?

- What else is it known for?

- Prostitutes?

- No.

- Escorts?

- That's enough, son.

- He's right though.

Not that I have any experience as a 17-year-old runaway

who would do anything to make a buck.

You're not so mysterious anymore, skank.

- I still don't know what's a Vegas.

- Shows!

Let's go see a show!

Hey driver, take us to the best show in town.

- Heeey!

- Fuck you.

- Here we go, gov.

- Are you sure this is the best show in town?

- She would know.

- It's the only show I know of.

- What's a "fuppet"?

- Fucking puppets.

- Oh.

- They're puppets.

- Yeah.

- That fuck.

- Intwesting.

- I wouldn't mind seeing some mad puppets fucking.

- We'd better get inside before the show starts.

- Yes, my boy, ever punctual.

- Welcome to Versnatchy's, perverts!

Have you been naughty?

I hope so!

Because I have something very special

for you dirty devils tonight.

Do you want it?

- Yes! Yeah!

- Do you want it?

- Yes!

- Do you want it?

I want it!

Get ready for some blue suede goo.

All the way from Memphis, Tennessee,

the hunk of burnin' love himself.

Do you want it?

- Yes!

- Do you want it?

Do you want it?

- I want it!

- You want it! I want it!

Let's hear it for--throw your panties on the stage for:

Pelvis!

- He's so big!

- He's huge!

- Fuck me!

- That's crazy!

- What the fuck?

- That was something.

- I know, right?

- As a purveyor of fine theater,

I found it infinitely engrossing.

- The emphasis on "perv" and "gross."

- Next time you have a suggestion,

make sure you shove it up your fuckin' ass.

- Where to next?

- Let's call it a night.

Driver, take us to the finest budget shithole.

- Here we are.

- It's beautiful.

- Damn, that's some high-end shit right there.

- That's a honey of a booboo.

- There must be some mistake.

- Oh no, no mistake.

- Are you sure this place is, shall I say,

cheap as fuck?

- Oh yeah, it's the cheapest in town.

- This place is?

I don't see how.

- Oh, you will.

- Boop!

- It's haunted.

- Yikes.

- How haunted?

- Cheap-as-fuck haunted.

- Oh.

Well, we're here.

What is this place?

Look at this.

I mean, what the...

- Hark, weary travelers.

The light has crept in, and darkness is vanquished.

There's nothing to fear here.

- Oh, I thank boop for that.

Wait, what did you say?

- I take that back, We're fucked.

- Have no fear, Rabbit is here.

And Rabbit wanna get laid.

- Gross! Get off me.

- It's worth a try.

Doesn't seem to be anybody here.

- Found the bell, fuckin' genius.

- Oh, that's worth a try.

- Boop.

- Easy with the bell-a, fella.

- Yeah, man.

Ding don't.

- It's you guys.

- Yeah.

Well, it's like, more like, "It's you ghosts."

- Yeah, man, we totally, like, died last time.

- We're the ghosts with the most.

- Most weed.

- But what happened?

You look, uh, different.

- The big sleep will do that to you, man.

- Yeah, so will estrogen pills.

- Shut up.

You, like, totally promised.

- Check out his dude titties.

- What the fuck is this shit?

- Boys--girl--can't we all get along

and put our differences aside?

- Did someone say, "Let's get a bowl?"

- So what are you fellas-- you doing here?

- Dude, we like, own the place.

- Backup. You own this place?

- We, like, own the place.

You?

Bitch, do you got a hearing pro--

I'm so sorry.

I don't know what came over me.

- He's just like hormonal and shit.

He's not usually like--

- No, how could you?

- Anyways, as I was, like, saying.

Hm, what was I saying?

- You own this beautiful place?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Our families are, like, stupid rich.

- Like really stupid.

- They disowned us 'cause we're, like...

- Total fuck-ups.

- Totally.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Anyways, one day our families got together

and they tried to throw this intervention for us.

- And what happened?

- I don't know, we didn't go.

We were too high.

But anyways.

- They all died and shit, man.

- All of them?

- At the same time?

- Everybody but us, and so now, we own this haunted shit.

- Fuck yeah.

- Yeah, like since that Lucy chick, you know

harshed our mellows eternally.

- We died.

- Boop.

- Well, I died.

You went tits up.

- Bitch.

- Yeah.

- Anyways, so, like, do you need a room

or some shit or what?

- Yes, give us your most hidey room available.

- Assassin?

- No.

- Castle freak?

- Uh uh.

- Bogus Bitch and Devil Douchest from Sexy Hell?

- Bingo.

- Say no more, you bald bore.

We will hook you up, my dude.

- It's appreciated.

- Just follow this guy--girl--

Just, he's gonna take you to your rooms.

- You guys have any baggage?

- Just Weedy here.

- And her.

- Keep your bitch hands off my ass.

I'll find my own way.

- Yeah.

- Come on, dude, it's down here.

My bad, wrong room.

I was just fucking with you.

- Laughter at others' expense doth bring laughter in kind.

- Like, what?

- Stop F-ing with us. We're tired.

- Now here we are, the most hidey-est room available.

- Dibs.

- What about our rooms?

- Oh, you can just choose one.

They're, like, all empty 'cause

this place is fuckin' haunted.

- Boop?

- Oh, tip?

- My good man.

- Aw, fuck, man.

- Works on the dead every time.

- Oh, this is so boring.

I need to find the bar.

- Mm-Hm, now this is what I call class, motherfucker.

- Holy wow, this is something else.

- Oh Weedy, look!

It's so romantical.

- I'll say, my dear.

But we'd better befoul it.

- Oh, you are so sweet!

You think I look boop-iful?

- If you say so.

- Oh Weedy, I've had the hots for you

the first time I saw you.

From your little nosey to your little toesie-woesies

to every little

part of you and your heart that's full of weed.

You are quite the looker.

- Aw, shucks.

I was just made this way.

Well, I have never been with a man before.

Just say the word, and you can be my first.

- Oh, shut up and jump my bones!

- Oh yeah!

I never thought you'd say yes.

Woo! Oh yeah!

I've never been in a room with a bouncy house before.

Oh yeah! This is so hot!

Oh, I'm toasty down here.

- God damn, this some crazy shit.

Sick motherfuckers makin' this kinda shit.

- Oh, I've seen this one.

It's really good.

- As I was saying.

- What's that?

- Oh, you ain't foolin' my ass with that New Agey,

mumbo jumbo bullshit you be spewin' all the time.

- I'm not spewing.

- See, even you don't believe that shit.

I knew it.

- It's a living.

- Eating dong is a living, too.

Bitch, what you hiding?

You gots to let that hair down.

Don't that feel better?

- I guess.

- And you a pretty little piece of chicken, too.

Take it from Ebee, you need to let out that inner warrior.

Stop hiding behind that fruity-tooty shit.

- I'm not hiding anything.

- Oh, I'd make you queen of the Bong World,

but I'm still a scary motherfuckin' bitch,

and I am, you better believe your ass,

I'm just biding my time.

- Misty, Queen of the Bong World.

- I'm scary as fuck.

Take a hit off me and see for yourself.

- Oh no, I don't do that anymore.

Not since I did three years in Chino

for wiping out that bingo parlor with my 10-speed.

- You see?

I knew there's a bad bitch deep down in there.

C'mon, just take one little toke.

- I really can't.

- I'm not even at full strength, girl.

Just a little something to take that edge off.

- I really could stand to relax for a little bit.

No. No. I can't.

- Smoke that motherfuckin' weed, you pussy ass!

- I want everyone to know: This is peer pressure.

- There you go.

Suck that nectar.

Release the beast inside.

Feelin' better?

- No, not really.

- The fuck!?

- High tolerance.

- Oh damn, you really is a bad bitch.

- Well, maybe it is time for a change.

- Oh yeah!

Oh Weedy! Oh Weedy! Yes!

Give me more! Give me more!

Oh yeah.

Oh, I've never been so hot before.

I wanna just do you.

I wanna do you.

Yes!

- Aah.

A little service here for a handsome customer.

- What do you need, bro?

- I'll have another one of those, please.

- Can't serve you, dude.

- I get this a lot, but I assure you

I am over the drinking age.

- Sorry, young buck, I can't serve you.

- And why is that exactly?

- Dude, I'm a ghost.

- You don't have to be so blunt about it.

You're a goodder, I tell you.

- Oh, it's the least I can do for you.

- Damn fine, I tell you!

Oh, that sardine buffet was top notch, I tell you.

- Oh, only the best for you, sugar balls.

- That is love, I tell you what!

- Show we saw?

I tell you.

- Pardon the intrusion, but what show did you see?

- The skill, the wonder, the artistry.

Unsurpassed, I tell you.

- So you saw one of those weird French freak shows

set to boy band music ?

- Don't know what you tell, but we saw fuckin' puppets fuck.

- Tell.

- I tell you what. - What?

- I dun tell. - What?

- Told. Period.

- So, what brings you to Vegas?

- Tell you what, we needed to blow off some steam.

My old lady says, she says, "Joe, I tell you what."

- Mm-hm.

- Uh huh.

- So! Here we be.

- I told ya. - Mm-hm.

- As God as my witness, I heard it told.

- Well, you seem to be doing pretty well for yourselves.

- Never better, and it's all thanks

to this fine slab of lady.

- Well, sometimes when life gives you shit,

you make other shit.

- Despite my better judgment,

she wanted to give Big Sloppy a breather, you know.

And I'm all don't tell me what.

- I tell you, damn near fell off and slid across the floor.

- So, we's workin' on our tans.

- Then, I tell ya, she dips into the last

of our beer money and skips out.

Ho, I don't mind tellin' ya I was P.O.'d.

- Damn near told her, what he did.

- Yeah.

Then, I tell you what, she come back

and dumps an assload of cash on

my pineapple-shaped swimmin' hole floaty.

- I didn't have no pockets.

- It damned near drowned him, I tell ya!

- I swim like a corpse, if I'm tellin'.

- True tell.

- And I tell her, "You tell me where you got this."

'Cause, you know, she's supposed to be

givin' her meat wagon some down time.

- I says!

"I got it from the one-armed bandit in the lobby."

- Oh, I tell you, when I catch that one-armed summa bitch,

there's gonna be hell to pay!

After I thank him for his donations.

- He's always one step ahead of us, that dude, I tell ya!

- I mean, messin' with my woman?

She's always just slippin' out,

comin' back with more money--a hell of a lot more.

That one-armed polecat sure spends a hell of a lot of cash,

and it's always in change.

- I guess that one-armed bandit

is better than a one-eyed one.

- Yeah--hey, what?

Well, I tell ya, if he was a real man,

he'd look me in the eye before laying pipe.

- Oh I'd tell him to tell.

- I tell ya, I'll catch him some day.

Ain't that right--Ah!

She done it again

Let's get that chicken hawk before he slips away.

- Right behind ya, I yell ya. - Tell.

- Tell! - Tell!

- Good hunting.

- Was it as good for you as it was for me?

- Oh, my green balls have turned

a frightening shade of blue.

- Well, wait right there, Weedy,

'cause I got more in store for you.

- Oh, goody gumdrops.

- But first, I'm gonna put on some comfy clothes.

- Oh! I'm gonna get my comfies on.

- Oh, fuck me.

- Do you wanna buy a girl a drink?

- Naturally.

- I'm Rhonda. Rhonda VU.

- I feel like we've met before.

- I hear that all the time.

And you are?

- Rabbit.

- Interesting.

Now why do they call you that?

- Well, mainly because it's my name, and partially

because I'm cute, fuzzy, and like to drop around in holes.

So, what brings you to these parts?

- I work here.

- Am I gonna get you in trouble talking?

Are you on break?

- No, no, silly.

I don't work here, I come here for work.

- Are you like one of those loser writers

that hangs around coffee shops all day long?

- Not really.

I actually achieve my goals and at the end of the day

have something to show for it.

- So what is it you actually do?

- You wanna get out of here?

- You bet!

Oh yes!

- Oh, I'm going to dab you.

You like that?

- Uh huh. Get me high off that fucking dick.

Oh god! Yes!

- You coming?

- You know, usually I fake it.

That time I didn't have to.

- Who's your pappy, you blonde bombshell?

- Oh, you are!

- Ready or not, here I come.

- Holy boop!

How could you play Bounce the House with this, this boopa.

- I'm sorry love.

It isn't what it looks like.

- Then what is it?

- Room service.

- Oh, you two-timing, no--get out of here

before I pull your hair through your boop-boop.

How could you do this to me, Weedy?

I thought we had something going here.

I mean, don't you like my boopin' bod?

- Oh, don't fret, my love.

There's enough of this primo weed to go around.

- Oh, yeah.

Oh Weedy, oh yeah.

- Oh, come and eat your Weedy.

- Oh, you come and eat my Wheaties.

- Ooh!

Oh, my man.

- Whoa Nelly!

- Damn, you take another shower?

You must got some kind of disease or something.

And lemme tell you, that shit don't scrub off.

- You were right.

It is time for a change.

- Ooh wee! Damn, girl.

You are one badass bitch.

- I know.

Feels good.

- And I'm sure all your personalities think so, too.

- No more Mrs. Nice Chick.

- Now you're talking out of

somethin' but your little ass.

- Let's blow this dump.

- Mm, how do you like this?

- I likey.

- You like that?

- I likey lot.

- And uh...

How about that?

- Rabbit wanna grab it.

- Well, you are the boss, and I have a surprise for you.

- I like surprises.

- You are gonna love this one.

- Ah!

- Don't act like you didn't know.

- Dude.

- What's the big deal?

- Dude!

- Try it! You might like it!

- What happened?

- Nothing happened.

You don't want to know.

And if you do want to know, I'm not saying anything,

because what happens in Rabbit stays in Rabbit.

- You were suckin' dick, weren't you?

- I didn't suck anything.

- Uh huh.

- Can you talk to your son about what he did?

- What did you do, son?

- Today, I became a man.

- So you banged a call girl thinking it was room service.

- And GD breedy.

- Good talk.

- I think we need to get out of here.

- I agree.

What happened to the blonde?

I hate to leave anybody behind but we have to go.

Now.

- The sacraments.

Do it.

Oh Dark Lord--and not that useless prick

that runs Sexy Hell--heed my prayers!

Basically, hear me out here.

I seek revenge on those that placed me

in this lame-ass place.

I know I wanted to be here,

but it's really not what I thought it would be.

Who knew?

I offer you this sacrifice.

It's not much--about four-foot not much.

Ready? Smoke 'em girls.

Rise and be evilicious!

It's working! It's working!

Thank you, Dark Lord.

Thank you heaps.

Ew.

- Hiya, sis. - Hiya, brother.

- You look so-- - Pretty?

- Oh, snap!

We finish

- Each other's sentences.

- Besides, because we're rolled

- From the same dough.

- Ahem.

- Are you - Our mother?

- Oh, fuck no. You're gross.

Then fuck off and die.

- All right, fine.

I'm your mother, and I've got a little something

I want you to do for me.

- Always killing. - Please tell us it's killing.

- Oh, it's killing.

- Just tell us who; we take care of the rest.

- What the fuck is going down here?!

And what the fuck are those?

They're not sexy!

- Remember what we were talking about?

- Heh heh. Oh, goody!

- We're gonna lay with you.

Eat it.

- Fuuuuuuck!

Not the good kind!

- Like, checking out?

- Checking the fuck out.

- Did you, like, make your beds and clean the sink?

- That's not our job.

- Yeah, but we can't do it.

We're dead.

- Take it up with management.

- Dude, don't talk to me right now, okay?

- Don't talk to me.

- Like, fine.

- Look, Ebee's Magical Weed Dispensary.

That's gotta be Phoebe's place.

- I never met a Phoebe in my life.

- She's the one you forced to run

the dispensary in Venice Beach.

- I have no fucking clue.

All these bitches look the same to me.

And these stories are confusing as fuck to keep straight.

- We gotta check it out.

- We need to hurry.

- We need to smoke our minds right.

- I could really use some excitement in my life.

I take it back.

- Surprised?

- That's hardly the word I would use.

Can you guys not mess up the store this time?

It turned my last place into a dumpster fire.

I was kinda just hoping to never see you again.

- Well it's nice to see you again, too.

- See you're runnin' with a new clown crew.

Did Circus Circus get out early today or?

- I don't know the hours of operation.

Why?

- It's no reason.

- I could call and find out if you want.

- No, it's not necessary.

- We're being followed.

- By whom?

- Lucy.

- Let's just say someone close.

- Lucy Furr?

God, what did you guys do to piss her off?

- We threw her in Sexy Hell and now she wants revenge.

- That's so her. She's such a bitch.

- You got anything to help us?

- Funny you should ask: I've been working on

this magical, vaporless, odorless, pocket-dab hit.

I call it Ebee's Oil.

It's literally C02 oil aerosolized into your lungs.

There's no exhale, there's no odor.

It's the pocket dab you can do anywhere.

- Bitch, that's my brand.

- I got you covered: royalties.

I have got something big.

I'm franchising Ebee's Magical Weed Dispensary as we speak.

So stoners with their own dispensaries

can contact EbeeWeed.com for more info and details.

- Oh.

- Oh, poor muffins!

- I'm back, bitches.

- How the hell did you get out of Sexy Hell?

- The old-fashioned way: murder.

- Tried and true, I guess.

- Oh, look sis: munchies and money.

- Oh, hi sis.

- Hi.

- What've you been up to?

- You know, just this. You?

- You know, evil bitch stuff.

- I think now would be a good time to bail.

- That's a good call.

- Hurry up.

- Pwomise me, pwomise me, Weedy,

that you will never, ever, ever do that again.

Do you promise?

- If you say so, sweetie.

- Oh, my Weedy.

- I hate to break-up this touching moment,

but we have to bail NOW!

- I think we should split up.

- That's so stupid.

Over there!

- Dumbass crackers.

- Come on.

- In here!

- Perfect, we can hide in here.

- This place looks awesome!

- Three, please, and we're in a hurry.

- Through that door. I'll buzz you right in.

- Come on.

- Look, it's cow doing.

Weedy, look at that.

Boop? Hello boopy?

Boop?

- Out of my way, idiots!

- Hey, watch it. - What the hell?

- Wow.

Oh wow, that is totally boop.

- Oh, that could never happen.

- Oh, Weedy.

- Shit! She's coming.

- What do we do? What do we do?

- I got an idea.

And you're so ugly, it just might work.

- Come out, come out, where ever the fuck you are.

Ugh, who would pay to look at these ugly fuckers?

I know Rabbit's close.

I can smell his B.O.

Oh, you're gonna die now!

No! Ooh!

I'm gonna be back you bitches!

- Wow, that was a big nothing.

- It always is.

- Oh!

- Ooh, hey. What's up?

See, it' not scawy here.

Wow.

This is such a big room!

- But we left my friends and my father

inside to be slaughtered!

- Boop.

- Never weed a man behind!

- Oh, boopy boopy boopy!

- Let's cut him down to size!

- Yeah, fun size!