All language subtitles for Common As Muck s01e05

Just in case you haven't been watching
Communist Muck, here's a bit of a recap.

Morning.

Can I have your attention, please?

Are you a man or what? It's wrong what
we did.

She's had me children.

I'm not seeing him.

Like his house splashing up and down in
our bedroom.

Our workers are our investment for the
future.

Magic. Don't worry.

We'll keep things nice and informal.

You've taken the rest of the lads back,
no trouble.

How come I'm the one getting the special
treatment?

Well, one man's short. We've got no
cash.

I'm going to get me job back.

A position's come up. Get out.

You're a kid. Marie, I love you. I like
you.

Well, it's official, like. You know,
it's all them, um... Euro regulations.

Leave it. You're bloody bollocks.

What's that in inches per square
kilometre?

I've gone metric, man.

Metric? I voted against it, you know.

What? Going in.

Teddy.

I must have been crackered.

Bonjour!

That's French.

Was it? Ah, good.

Shit.

George,

good morning.

Brian, I thought you'd gone to...
Affairs of State.

We're still way under target, George.

So we have to talk.

I'll, uh... I'd better check the lads.

Bonjour!

Bonjour, monsieur!

I hope, Nev. No, no. Not anymore. Not
Nev, Bernard.

It's Neville.

We're in bloody Europe now.

We're going to create a high
-performance workplace here, George.

We're going to improve efficiency by
maximising the lean production structure

we've already established.

We'll stop pissing about.

Talk to your alarms. It's only a rate,
man.

Hey, it's not just us that's being
protected, you know.

Early warning.

Prevent shit getting into the whole
environment.

Man, you, it's going to be a right facet
of them to stop to find out what's to

blame every time we're gone tough.

Yes. I mean, it's going to slow us down
considerably, isn't it?

Aye.

Ken, can I have you a minute?

What's up?

Someone wants to share your expertise.

I'm not taking the piss, man.

Why are the men performing so badly?

Christ, you've got a nerve.

It's your bloody system that caused the
shit to hit the fan. Anything we've

done, it's because we've had to, to get
by.

It's the bloody truth.

No man on earth could get them rounds
done the way you've got them arranged.

Well, so tell me how it could work.

You're asking me.

The way we are now, we're killing
ourselves on streets where we shouldn't

be breaking sweat.

Good. Ken, I'd like you to join the
management team. What?

Look, I can keep a check on the overall
picture here, but essentially what I

want is for the depot to be self
-governing.

Hang on.

Management? Your normal duties.

But in addition, I want you to talk to
Mr Ward about...

Stay at the rands. Any improvements that
I can make? I mean, you're obviously

the best qualified person around here to
give advice.

Well, you know, it's just experience.

Common sense.

They do say, Ken, that genius is never
being afraid to state the obvious.

I don't know.

Do yourself a favour, Ken.

Now, change is inevitable, Ken, and it's
going to happen with or without you.

I just think that you owe it to yourself
and to your workmates to make sure that

you've got a say in it.

What's all this about?

Thanks for coming down.

I've got to be back in the office for a
finance meeting at quarter past. Why

couldn't you call round?

I'd rather this conversation was, er...
Well, I'd like it to be private.

I won't tell us all.

I'm planning to renegotiate the supply
contracts for the depot.

And I was wondering if you knew of any
outfits that might offer a discount.

Ten per cent, say.

For all the work I'd be putting their
way.

See, that way I'd end up with a nice
surplus on my hands.

Are we talking about the kind of outfit
that will give an invoice for the full

amount irrespective of what you've
spent? That kind of thing?

Is that what all this cloak and dagger
stuff is about?

A bit of retirement planning?

Jesus, George!

Excellent. Count me in.

I know some people.

Incidentally. I charge 12 .5%.

It's the lack of loyalty that

pisses me off.

I can't stand that.

Start him.

Moving in one of the lads, though.

Christ, talk about the lunatic taking
over the asylum.

George, I told you. Marie, I'm not
trying to insult you.

Quite the opposite.

It's practical, you having an account in
your own name. You know that. I'm fine.

Marie, you're not going to fleece me.
They do send statements these days.

Come.

You know it'll come in handy.

You're good to me.

You're good to me.

And bollocks before me.

Stop fretting.

It'll be much nicer where we're going
to.

Never said.

Bernard, I told you to love blue in the
place.

All right, Lucy, press.

Is that the last?

Yes.

I'll be paying all the other stuff in
the front room.

I'll give you a hand move that one. I've
loaded this on, all right? You?

Did you know?

Go on, you get going. Make a stop. I'll
load this on.

Thanks for everything, Foxy.

You've saved me a fortune.

That's my pleasure, Pet.

Hey, don't you worry about the stink,
right? I've given the wagon a good

down. And the stuff at the other end, it
smells beautiful.

All right?

Forgot. No, I'm not taking no buddies.

No, no, housewarming, man.

Oh, are you sure?

It should be up and round the field,
though, it should.

Hey, I got a load the other night. I
must have had a death wish or something.

I was expecting Bugs Bunny to come past
any minute for a bit of Harry Caray.

Keep an eye on him, won't you?

In case he gets upset.

He's already on edge.

It's all these changes around the depot.
Don't you worry, Pet. I'll look after

him, all right?

Anyway, we've sussed out a new system
down the depot.

Well, stop trying.

Here you are, madam.

So, do you reckon you're going to get a
car eventually?

I don't know.

I don't see why not.

Why? Nice job on that, love.

Of course, you know, I haven't said yes
yet. I've not for definite.

I said I wanted to check it with you
first.

What?

We're all right.

I've had the results back.

We're all right to have a baby.

Bloody hell, Denise, you should have
said.

Well, I wanted you to have your moment
of glory uninterrupted.

Nerves, I said it were nerves.

It's like footy, you know. You trip over
your boot later if you're worried.

Bloody hell, it's a whole new sodding
start.

Hey, Ken, what do you reckon to me doing
a course?

Getting some qualifications?

You what? Adult education.

You know, evening.

Were you a baby?

Christ, you bloody kill yourself.

Well, that's the whole point.

I'd do me course first.

Now we know we're all right, we can pick
a time, can't we?

There'll be your extra money coming in.

I won't need to work nights.

Oh, you know I've always fancied it.

You daft. I want me kids while I'm still
young.

Any road college is a waste of time.

Look at Sunil and our crew.

He's at university.

He ain't got a bloody clue about
anything.

You speak to him, head in the clouds.

He's no use to anybody.

You want to do something with your time?
You persuade your man to let us have

that old rocking horse he was out of her
back bedroom.

Unless she likes rattling off a couple
of furlongs on it in the evening.

You never know, do you?

Please, just say hello.

There you are, Phil.

You're pushing the boat out, aren't you?

Or is it someone's birthday?

All right, Ken.

And Fiona?

Last meal to me.

Ah, not bad at all, though. It wasn't
cheap, of course, but quality never is,

it? You'll change, sir. Oh, you keep
that, mate.

So, Fiona, how's things up the church
these days, then? God managing without

Still punishing the wicked, is he? Come
on, Ken.

And what about you, Phil? You've been
doing a bit more up there lately. So

is it you... Is it polishing the
candlesticks or something?

Oh, you know.

Odd jobs where I can. I think it's
bloody marvellous that, you know, giving

your free time. I could never do it.

I think your table's ready.

Oh, wait, yeah.

Enjoy your meal.

Right this way, sir.

Oh, Jesus, Ken.

What? I thought you were... Christ.

I told you, Denise.

It's all different now.

Come on.

We always do our washing and roughing up
over there.

Not anymore.

Deregulation.

What the bloody hell is it for?

A present from Mr. Forge.

If I can have your attention, please.

Following discussions with Mr. Andrews.

I've decided to reorganize the ranch.

I'll be forming crews on a daily basis,
reintroducing smaller wagons, and, where

necessary, doubling up on heavy ranch.

Hang on, I didn't mean... You're not
explaining it right. Ken, if I can just

outline the main point, you can have a
word with the lads later.

Your wagons now carry sanitary equipment
in line with European regulations.

An in -situ disposal of environmentally
sensitive material has been negotiated

at Burgage Recycling Plant.

That's bloody miles away, man!

If you want to discuss any of this,
please speak to Mr Andrews. He will pass

your comments.

I'm sorry to have held you up.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah, I'll have a chat to him.

Yeah,

we'll speak to Mr Andrews, no?

Bloody word later, Ken.

Just let's put it like this.

I would not like to be with him on a
sinking ship and only one place left in

lifeboat.

I mean, never mind the old... Never

mind the old ones like me.

I mean, he'd be kicking women and
children out at all.

You see, we always... We always did this
place together.

It's such a nice trip out.

You can't go running all day long, can
you?

That just shows you, I mean, you know,
that's why the world is in such a bloody

awful state.

Jono, Jono, haven't you ever heard of
registering your protest?

Yeah, I have actually, Nev.

And I've also heard it showing a bit of
sensitivity, you know, not banging on

and on about something.

Isn't it obvious your opinion is about
as welcome as a bloody dose of clap in a

brothel?

Any time today, Foxy.

Well, you're pretty well coming up with
me, lad.

I had a word for people like you during
the war, you know. You don't remember

war.

Well, you know what I mean.

Look, Foxy, it's me.

You reckon I'm going to try and shaft
you? What is all this?

Something's got the crew split up.

Something's got Bernard lost.

Something has got me sweating like a
pig.

Like a bloody tip round there.

Forger's gone to extreme. What I said,
it's only stuff me and you have been

saying for years, what's sorting out.
Aye, well, we'll have more men in them,

dears. Bloody hell, it's never going to
be like it was.

Maybe it does need changing. Point is,
if it does or if it doesn't, that's

what's going to happen. So we've got to
get in there and dictate terms.

That way, you know, we can hang on to
what we've got.

Improve things, even. God, you should be
pleased I'm making the bloody effort.

Yeah, well, I don't speak the same
language as they do, you see.

Well, that's because you won't bloody
try. That's because it would get stuck

me bloody throat.

Where have you been?

Fetch it out.

I told you to go round by the shops and
stop there.

Fetch it out.

Good lad I am. You're not a bloody good
lad. I've been driving all over looking

for you.

Why don't you do what you're told?

You'll start to drive.

Not today, will not.

Tuesday? Yes, but not today, will not.

Do hillside drive on a Tuesday. We're
not doing hillside drive. Will you stop

being so bloody stupid, man?

And put that bastard bin over Christ's
head.

I'm sorry, Bernard.

I'm nothing.

You're right.

It's Tuesday.

But things change, you know.

I'm a good lad, I am.

Of course you are.

You're Billy Wiseman.

Ken's an ogle -busted traitor.

Made to nobody, mate.

Yeah.

What have you been hiding there?

Cheers.

Best sixth form sonnet, 1991.

Oh, Kayla.

You're the goddess.

Here, you can have these.

Are you sure?

It were more advice. Take them.

I've always liked English.

Oh, you'll love it. You know, the
metaphysicals and... The what?

Don and Marvell.

You know, it's all about invisible
things. You know, things that you can't

touch. Like love and death and passion.

That's what I'm after.

Yeah.

Everything all right on your side.

But the men?

Well... You know... They're ungrateful
bastards, aren't they?

They are.

Don't worry, it'll settle down.

I won't mind, but, you know, it's like
you said.

They don't think who they could have
ended up with if I hadn't agreed to

Could have been some right bastard.

They would have had something to moan
about then.

If they think you've swapped sides.

I haven't, have I? No.

But if they think you have, there's a
certain mentality.

Yeah.

Well, pissing me off.

Sunil, I'd be really grateful if you...
Well, look, don't tell Ken I've been

round. You know that we've been talking.
It's taken me ages to persuade him.

He's a bit funny about college and that.

I just need to tread light to start
with, that's all.

Yeah, all right.

Done.

How do you fancy taking over a site in
Nottingham at the end of the year?

You what?

Twice your current salary plus a
relocation allowance.

All right.

I'm just asking, I'm not offering.

Not yet.

Hang on.

No, look.

You hit the ground running, Ken, but I
need to make sure that it's not just a

flash in the pan.

I need a little more proof.

That's all.

You've done everything that was asked of
you, but... What can you do if you hold

back?

I'll clear Strawberry Meadow Estate in a
day.

And every week after.

I'm just asking for a bit of initiative.
I'm not asking you to go to war for me.

Do you want it clearing or not?

Yeah. Have a great day.

I noticed that earlier.

It's the engine.

Warms the water, like.

Bollocks! Mind you, it's all right when
you first start out, you know, but then

as the wagon goes rolling all the
morning, it gets bloody boiling.

Bastard!

I put a bit of cold on if I were you. I
did.

You know what I'd like to do?

What?

I'd like to get up in the morning, gant
a grub, clear the streets of crap, Then

go home again.

Think that's too much to ask?

No.

What stepping stones?

Must have been somewhere else I was
thinking of.

Ah, you'll soon dry off. I tell you,
it's worth it, the amount of time you

You're enjoying this, aren't you?

Why not?

A chance to use me brain.

A bloody foxy, eh?

All that sodding moaning, I mean, who's
he thinking I am?

Ah, he'll not give them new rosters a
chance.

Too stuck in his sodding ways.

Any road. What's wrong? We're trying to
do your job well, eh? Christ, you know

that. You should put a bid in the next
time the tender comes up.

I bloody could do, you know.

I know there's job inside out.

Better than any of them.

I suppose you're his bloody potty if he
reckons he can sweet -talk me into

giving away my best ideas.

I've got my own plans.

Maybe shifting industrial waste for one.
You know, factories and that. Power

stations. I tell you, there'll be a
bloody fortune in it with these new E3

No, not big stuff.

You need plant for that, don't you? How
do you want to concentrate on the

smaller outlets, shops and that? What
longer do you need the lorry?

Keeps your cuffs right down.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

You should be doing a business degree,
you know. You're a natural. Why are you

wasting your time with all this English
crap?

Hey! Don't knock what you don't know.

Thought sex and violence, you'd love it.

Hiya. You're back.

You don't miss a trick, do you?

How was it?

40.

Didn't go.

Couldn't find a clean shirt.

Looked everywhere.

I was on the line. I said so this
morning.

It'll go all right.

Yours.

You're registering?

Yeah.

Not bad, thanks.

You're late back.

I was expecting you sooner.

I dropped round to my wreath.

Not reading?

Too tired.

Good.

Oh, Ken, I said I'm tired.

Oh, come on.

Relax. You'll enjoy it.

Oh, Ken, please.

Come on.

Stop it!

I said stop it!

What's up?

Did you get pregnant?

What? Well, you don't want my kid, do
you?

Ken. Do you?

It's too soon.

I mean, you've got to make sure the
timing's spot on with the kid, Ken.

You know that's true.

You know I'm right.

You're screwing Sonny, aren't you?

What?

You don't want my kid because you're
shagging him.

Don't be so bloody stupid and cry again.

There's no good denying it. I know
what's going off.

There's no going off.

English.

That's what he studies.

For Christ's sake.

Given you one or two nice little
pointers, have you?

Don't be disgusting.

Where have you been tonight?

I've been registering at college, then I
had a drink with Marie.

Ask her if you don't believe me.

She was meant to be going out with that
boss of yours, Ward.

But he were busy, so she rang me.

Hang on.

Ward and Marie?

Bloody hell, if there's something in the
water, you and your mate can't help

spreading it around.

I ain't seen Sonny.

I just asked him for some advice.

He posted you them books, did he?

The ones you're hiding in the airing
cupboard.

They're not hidden.

I just put them separate, that's all.

Well, I don't want them damaging.

Oh, isn't that nice?

What does he do? Award them according to
how good you've been.

You bastard!

You bloody bastard!

He's helping me with me work.

There's nowt going on.

Now you believe me or I'm off, right?

I made my mistake.

I've done nowt since.

Sonny'll just lend us some books, that's
all.

I'm not seeing him.

That's the truth.

But that's it.

No more cosy chats, no more reading and
writing sessions, right?

You don't go near him.

Ken. Do you hear me?

You're bloody craving.

Stay away.

I'd love to know what they were on when
they called it Strawberry Meadow.

We'll never clear out that in a day.

Right, lads, synchronise your watches.

Shouldn't there be a vicar here or
something to see us off?

You're being bloody ridiculous, all of
you. It's not that bad. It's a bloody

run, that's all.

Yeah, round hell.

Oh, for God's sake, look, we get in, we
get done, we get out again. Be a pig to

pick if you all stick together.

What chance have I got with him?

Sticking together. He needs one of them
bleeping collar things.

What? Bloody hell, Ned. Look, will you
stop moaning and get on with it? We meet

back here in four hours. Come on.

Make sure you keep your windows closed.

Otherwise the busters around here will
drag you out.

All right.

It'll change me mind.

Did you what?

Get inside.

my window!

Oi! Piss off!

It's not bolted down, we'll bloody have
it.

Are we going to get all this done?

Of course we will.

Self -belief.

Good game.

Eh? Last night.

Not bad.

You've got up to anything exciting?

Nah, watched a bit of telly.

Ah, good film on later, wasn't there?
That Von Ryan's Express.

I fancied it with him, but, er...

You know, Mrs Notley was alone.

Up at Bloody Cup or what.

I guess like that sometimes.

I'll beg him for it.

Don't care where she is in the house,
she's like an animal.

Just wants me up top, doing me stuff.

Can't let him down, can you?

You stupid bloody sods!

and then you're really gone.

What are you doing, going around with a
bloody eye shut?

Sean, I said it was impossible to get it
all done.

It is if you're bloody dawdle.

How can I get as far around as it can?

Give it a uniform look. Bloody skiving,
you mean. Leave us to clear up after

them.

What's up?

Bloody heavy.

Well, never mind, eh?

Just think of all them exercise books
you'll be able to ship when you get back

to college.

What's up?

Nothing.

Checking it's all, er... You know.

Well, yeah, it's fine. Piece of piss.

Who's out at Grange Farm today?

What? Council are checking out lying
areas.

I thought they were checking round here.

They are.

As well as the other places.

Who wants the tickets?

Oh, bloody hell. I can't get charging
up. I've got all this... Bollocks!

Dad, I can't hang around.

You what?

I thought we'd be further round.

Slow.

So, I've got a meeting sorted in, you
know.

If I don't set off now, I'd better row
with her and her dad.

I mean, it's an out I can't sort, but I
do need to see her.

You know what? In a couple of years'
time, you'll get up in the middle of the

night for a piss.

Your lass will be all tucked up in bed.

And you'll look down at your dick.

And suddenly you'll think...

Christ, the bloody bother you've caused
me.

The aggro I've been through for you.

You know, you'll never understand why
that thing in your hand affects what's

happening in your brain.

Go on, piss off, I'll cover for you.

Thanks, Dad. Just be back at Checkpoint
Charlie in an hour. Right. Hold, Dad!

Thanks for the advice.

I'll remember that.

No, you're not.

Who does he think he is?

Where have we bloody been? If he's that
sodding bothered about it, he should

have shifted at his scent.

Come on, back to Strawberry Meadow.

What's up with you?

I'm bollocksed.

All that rushing.

We're not going to do it, are we?

May as well ease off. Of course we are.

Now come on and get a bloody shift done.

All right, I'm coming.

Jesus, Ken, what's wrong with you?

It's my job, but I like getting it done.

Fine.

Time for a piss.

So what are you going to do with this
degree of yours, then? Be a teacher?

I don't know.

Well, have to, don't you? What else can
you do with it?

You don't have to do anything.

It's a qualification.

What's the trouble? Ah, bollocks.

No bloody point spending all that time
on something just to find out you can't

use it for hope.

That'd be bloody daft, that would.

Waste of bloody energy, wouldn't it?

I love it here, you know.

It's proper, this is.

Ah, none of that Peak District.

Please do not touch the grass, bollocks.

Please put the stones back where you
found them so we can make a nice

This is real.

Every day, innit?

People.

Working on it.

Living off it.

Pissing on it.

It don't flatter you like this, Dunhill.

You know where you are.

Now, come on!

Feels like it.

He should be bloody miles further round.
Well, I'm not.

What have you been doing?

Unusual, you know, emptying shite,
having slagging matches with the

Where's Jono? He's not here.

For Christ's sake, where is he? And any
of you picked up on the idea he was

supposed to be in a sodding hurry? He
got bit by a dog, so he's gone out to

local surgery for a tetanus jab.

Foxy, please, eh? I'm not sure which
surgery precisely, but he'll be back as

soon as he's received his treatment.

You know how it goes.

Look. I'm not bothered how many's
working. I'm bothered if job ain't done.

You'd better put your bloody finger out.

Marie? What the bloody hell are you
doing here?

I kept on calling you.

You were always engaged.

One place I knew you'd be. I've got to
go on in a minute. What do you want?

I want to apologise.

It doesn't matter.

You look very nice.

I do want everything to work out, you
know.

Jono, it can't.

I mean, everyone rows, don't they?

It's all over, Jono.

We weren't rowing. We were finishing.

No, Marie, I... It's over, Jono.

I can't see you anymore.

No, of course you can. I can't. If you
want to. Not now. Things are different.

Somebody else.

Yeah, but, Marie, I love you. Will you
stop saying that word like it makes

everything all right?

I'm not seeing you again, Jono.

I know what I'm entitled to.

I know what I can reasonably expect.

You're thinking it all wrong, Marie.

I mean, together, that's the soundest
way of going on.

We'll become the best couple in the
world.

We'll get so locked up in each other, no
bastard can come near us.

What are you saying, John?

Marry us, Marie.

Marry us and everything.

No, Jono. No.

Don't you understand?

I can do better than you.

What the bloody hell's going on?

I can't chuck on.

Fetch out.

Where's Nev?

Dunno.

For Christ's sake, why can't people
follow pithing orders?

You can drive, can't you? Take him.
Carry on round as far as you can.

I'll fit Nev the skiving back.

Can't take the rascal.

I'll take what a bloody well like. Now
shut up and sod off with Thunhill.

What the bloody hell are you doing here?

Having a pint.

You should be pissing working.

Steady, Ken.

They don't like bad language round here.

Don't, Nev.

I'm not in mood.

Well, then you should not set yourself
impossible tasks, should you?

Bernard has locked us out of the wagon.

The depot is sending a lad round with a
set of spare keys. In the meantime,

Bernard has gone walking off somewhere,
God knows where. I am standing here

having a pint and trying to keep a
little sanity right away from you and

bloody crazy ideas, all right?

Hail, stranger.

Bloody hell.

Sharon.

How's tricks?

They're all right.

You got time for a drink?

Oh, no, I'm... No, yeah.

Why not?

Oh, shit!

Bernard, I want to get this round to
someone.

It'll be five minutes.

I want you to sit in the van and not
move, all right?

Yeah. You sure?

Yeah.

You're a good lad.

How long you been back?

A few weeks.

I thought I might have seen you down
here.

Don't get over this side of town too
often.

What about, you know, what's his name?

Gary. Yeah, yeah.

Don't know.

Might still be in Sheffield, might not.

What happened?

I caught him cheating on me.

Some little slag still at school.

I can't be doing with it.

Told him to get shot.

Well, you've got your pride to think of
in them situations, ain't you, Ken?

What are you talking about?

Bloody hell, Ken. Gossip crosses town,
you know.

Well, it's all sorted now.

Lucky Denise.

You being so understanding, taking her
straight back, I mean.

Hey, a bloody gear, what for?

I should think you did.

I know how I felt, how I feel.

I think of him with that slag in our
bed.

Oh, with her legs pinned back behind her
ears, him with his arse flashing up and

down.

I mean, what do you think of, Ken?

What do you think about?

I'm not turning you on, am I, Ken?

Talking mucky.

Let's know them toilet freshers.

Of course, you're right off.

Come on.

Let's get a shift up.

The bloody hell's happened!

Bernard, what happened?

I never moved!

What the hell?

I'm a good lad.

Look at it. Jesus. Right.

Look at it.

He's had it.

Fifteen grand's worth.

There'll be some decent car boot sales
coming up.

I'm getting sick of hearing your gob
now.

Oh, I?

You were the one who brought us down
here.

Right. I'm the butt of the depot.

I'll get the pickup truck. No, no, no.
Let him do it. After all, he's in

You're lighting up on your feet now,
aren't you?

Fifteen minutes in cab, you'll move for
that.

Bit more of that earlier, we might have
had a chance of getting done.

It's not worth it, young.

How do you know what it's worth?

You should have packed it in years ago.

Let a young 'un eye a crack. Someone
with legs.

Steady, Cairn.

He doesn't mean it.

It was for Denise, Ken.

It was for a course.

A course.

How could I let me son forget that?

You bastard!

What the bloody hell are you doing?

You black bastard!

Jesus,

Ken!

Leave me, Petlar!

Ken! Ken, what are you... Get out of
here!

Ken, for bloody...

Leave it.

I'll have you leave it, Ken.

Me mates.

You're gone bloody pussy, Ken.

I hope it hurts.

Leave him.

Do him good.

Teach him a thing or two instead of
messing about at college.

It's a pissy world, Sonny.

You can't trust your mates.

They'll land one on you just the same as
anybody else, and you know why? Because

we're all dick -led.

Even you.

All you do, all you worry about, all you
put up with. It's all so we can have a

few minutes of scratting about and
spitting in the dark.

It's why we bother staying alive.

It's all there is.

Oh, give over, Ken.

Oh, lover boy.

I forgot, of course.

You're above all this, aren't you?

Spunk and snot and blood.

Nothing to do with you.

Just go home. Do you know who your
missus is poking, John O'Dea?

She's bloody stupid.

I know.

Ward. Georgie boy.

It's true.

She's obviously a bit keener on the old
torch, which you need to get your credit

for. That's all there is about it, like
I said. You bastard!

Go on, then!

No!

Why don't you take Ken home?

No need, Nev.

I'm going.

I can't stand looking at you lot anyway.

You're depressing me!

Losers! Then bloody we'll move.

Or Bernard will tear your bollocks off.

Welcome, Sunhill.

But remember, it's never bloody ending.

Tear your bloody heart in two.

Then in two again.

Jono. Marie.

Jono, I heard.

Here. I was going to post it to you, and
then I wanted to see you.

I'm sorry.

A few more tomorrow.

It'll do after.

Do you fancy it?

I know you only met him once, but you're
quite welcome.

Thanks. No strings.

I know about you and Ward.

Oh, I'm sorry.

No, it's all right.

I just wish you'd told me, that's all.

But I thought you'd go wild.

Better be honest, innit?

Things like that.

Things that matter.

I mean, you're not quite lying.

See you around.

Say it.

You all right? Yeah, thanks for coming.
Oh, don't be daft.

Get a drink. It's all free.

Hiya. Hiya.

What do you want? I'll have a beer. All
right.

Look who's over there.

I'm not going to say very much.

I just want to thank you all, really, on
behalf of me mum and me for coming.

Dad would have loved this.

Yeah, he loved funerals.

No, not people dying and that, but he
liked after.

And I thought the days were very moving.

So I'd like to propose a toast to the
vicar.

The vicar.

Vicar.

The thing is, well, it was a lovely job
you did and everything, but it wasn't

really my dad you were talking about,
was it?

I mean, you didn't know him all that
well.

I mean, I'm not having a go at anything.

I just thought what you said was, well,
inappropriate, really.

See, my dad, he was a lovely little
bloke.

He loved me, Mum.

And he only hit me once, really, when I
burnt his 66 World Cup Heroes album by

mistake.

But that was the only time.

Yeah.

He never went abroad or anything.

And he voted Liberal. I don't know why.
Probably a wine for a cup.

I've seen my dad.

He didn't even know he's left from his
right, which is pretty bloody dangerous

when you're driving a wagon all day.

But, er... He always reckoned, er...
..the River Goy

on an August morning.

With the sun coming up near Spinney,
near Frisco Wharf.

With the most beautiful sight in the
world.

My dad.

He was like a big kid, really.

He didn't give two hoots about how.

He lived every second of his life.

As if it were quarter past three on a
Friday afternoon.

Everything in front of you, everything
to look forward to.

It was... It was chuffed to stuff.

It's like you were knee -deep in being
alive.

See?

He lived his life.

I'll miss him.