Original subtitles

Last time on Comedy Smoke, this happened.

Ken. I'm doing me best. I know.

So what's up? I don't know what you're talking about.

I used to talk about you, Nev. Connie and I were friends.

Piss off.

Let's go to bed.

I love Connie Smith.

Would you like to go for a drink?

That's bribery. It's corruption.

I'm locked on. He's asked us out for a drink. I've never been this close to

someone as beautiful as you before.

Bollocks to the lads. Careful, girl.

Stop them.

Let's go home.

Shaft. Both of us.

Home. It's your home.

Redundant. It's all explained.

Not too painful, I hope.

Oh, by the way, John.

Sorry.

Don't go getting like that. You need to relax.

Piss off.

All right.

Oh,

double bollocks.

Yeah, look.

Soft bloody game this is.

It's hurting me hip any road.

With bloody death carrying on as though nothing had happened, we should have

gone straight down to Social Security.

Straight down.

I thought the doctor told you to lay off that sort of stuff.

Bloody hell, Foxy, the whole idea was we had to go on the range, then we had

breakfast.

Have you forgot about it last night? All for one and one for all.

Well, I'm here, aren't I? I thought the young stud was supposed to be here. He

swore he would be. Never came home.

After the chip shop, he said, I'm just nipping back for a pickled egg. Last I

saw him.

Hope his bloody knob drops off.

I hate letting folk down.

Is that right?

Oh, come on, John, I'll make the effort.

Oh, Marie.

that again a bit quicker.

What?

Christ, Marie.

We've been out ages.

It's been killing me.

You've already... more than once.

I know I've told you it's normal.

The man hangs on till the woman gives the nod.

What's going on first?

Don't look at me.

I'm not going in first.

I want to find out what happens.

I'll go first.

Don't be bloody daft.

Well, there's no toad, man. All you have to do is say it on the dotted line.

Come on, Foxy. There's got to be more to it than simply scrawling your name.

What are you doing here?

We don't belong here.

I got held up.

Traffic, you know.

Oh, aye. Put his hand down your wire front, just as you're about to go out

through the front door, did he?

Yeah, don't you worry, John. Oh, perfect timing. In fact, they've just shouted

at first then to go in.

Aye, I heard that.

John?

I couldn't resist putting it on.

It was really gorgeous.

You're not having an affair, are you? I am.

Do I look like a man putting it about on the sly?

Why not?

I'd have you.

See you later.

Bloody bin men?

Didn't see you this afternoon.

Dustbin men.

What's up with you?

Why did they sack us so next sodding day we can start up again? Well, no bloody

cares, man.

Shit, it tests me.

It's not right.

Oh, stop worrying, man. We've landed on with it.

We haven't got the sign on, no.

How much are we paying?

147 quid for 41 hour week.

You what? Bloody hell.

We get more than that now.

For less hours.

Well, I'm all for it, mate. I mean, I don't care if it costs us a few quid.

I'm coming down here again.

We should have called in the union straight away. I said so.

I mean, they could negotiate for us.

I can negotiate my own sodding layoff. I want Union to fight management. I

thought that's why they got invented.

Ken, what else can we do?

What are you doing here? Got a call. You what?

Properer. They called me.

What, them on the board? Yeah, country have taken over.

The Belgian.

Bobby? Yeah.

Said they were looking for workers.

Students. It's got my name off the file.

What do they want to take students on for? They haven't filled town jobs yet.

Hey, lad. Oh, Tony.

Morning.

Can I have your attention, please?

Who's he?

They all should know.

My name is Brian Forger.

I'm the operations director of Propre UK Enterprises.

I'm delighted to welcome you to our new site.

Is he the gaffer? Now, we are now in charge... of cleansing services in this

area. Of what?

And we're recruiting today for our new workforce.

Now, thank you all for coming.

Does anyone have any questions before we begin?

Yes. What about?

I don't know. Just let them know we're on the ball.

Very good.

Now, we want to clean up around here.

Now, with your help, that's exactly what we'll do.

What the hell's he doing here?

Coordination of this depot will be handled by our area manager, Mr. George

Bloody dare.

George, how are you?

Oh, Christ.

Right, if you can form a queue, we'll see you as quick as we can.

Don't worry, we'll keep things nice and informal.

Neville Singleton's employee interface, Brian.

I put the details on the hard drive.

So, you've been in the Vince Fara how long?

32 years.

That's an excellent record.

I think so.

And how long until you retire?

That depends on you, don't it?

25, yeah?

I started on the wagons in Newcastle.

Long distance.

Packed that in.

Came down here.

Been here ever since.

How's your health?

Thank you, pal.

You've had no major illnesses in recent years?

Well, no. The aspirin hasn't shifted.

So, how long have you been in the Benz?

Two years on and off. Though I am settled now. You know, it is the clear

I've no intention of jacking it all in now I'm trained up. Going off to do

something else.

I'm pleased to hear it.

Our workers are our investment for the future.

Propre is a progressive company.

Management operates an open -door policy, and all comments and suggestions

welcome. Magic.

But we're not a workers' cooperative.

We will be introducing new working practices, new directives, and we expect

to be followed.

Failure to do so will result in a breach of contract, and you will dismiss

yourself.

Is that clear?

Definite. Actually, I've been in favour for a shake -up round here for a long

time.

How's your health?

Stronger than Ox. He runs around.

Can you run?

Can you fight?

Run your tongue up my arse and fight for breath, then.

I'm a good lad, I am.

Could do with a few more like me down the depot.

Like shit of a shovel, me.

Mr Green...

Propre is a progressive company.

Management operates an open -door policy.

It's Wednesday.

Waste of time, Brian.

You'll do whatever we tell you, won't you, Bernard?

Aye.

I'm a good lad.

This is really only a formality.

How long have you been in the bins, incidentally?

14 years.

Excellent.

What? Good job we got something for you. You only qualify for a grand

redundancy.

One has to be realistic.

I mean, if we could afford the full amount for everyone, then there would be

need to reduce the manning levels.

Still, needn't worry about that one can.

Married, local, healthy, I know.

No skiving.

One or two disciplinary hiccups out on the round.

Police call on one occasion, brawling with a school lollipop man.

Mostly it's been aggro, one kind or another.

September 1981.

Are you a union member?

What? What?

Ken's all right. Nev's the one to watch for that. Hey, hang on. Please.

Proper is pro -union. You can belong to whichever union you like.

Good. But we will only negotiate with our workforce.

Because our deal is with them.

It's not with the union.

Can't argue with that.

Sign on the dotted, Ken.

112 quid a week?

They said 147.

Yeah, well, you're low grade, Ken.

You're working the shit wagon with Malk.

The shit wagon? No chance.

Well, Mr. Ward said you'd get a job done in half a time.

Oh, Mr. Ward would say that.

It's sodding death on there. I'm not doing it. I want my old job back and I

the full wage.

Christ, it's piss poor as it is.

You're not doing yourself any favours, Ken. I don't care.

You've taken the rest of the lads back, no trouble. How come I'm the one getting

the special treatment?

Oh, Jesus.

What are you going to do?

Carve a notch on the side of your desk?

Ken, a grand won't go far. Hey, I wouldn't work for you if you offered me

million quid. Mr Andrews, you're giving us no option. All the years I've done

this job, day in, day out, up to my elbows in shit, this is the first time

felt dirty.

You can bollocks.

I'm soon going to stop at home.

Maybe I should say something to Ward.

There's nothing wrong with the way that Ken works.

It's not a charity they're running down the depot. What do you mean?

Well, they've got to be efficient, haven't they? Run things smoothly.

Looks like Ken. What about him?

I've read all about it, how it used to be.

I'm telling you, there were old ladies freezing out on the streets because the

ambulance went to greet some dealer over.

And there was shit piling up all over the place. They even had to get the army

in because the bin men went on strike.

It's new, like, they want lads who work hard. And if you do, you're all right.

But if you're a troublemaker, you know, that's fair enough.

Right, my showtime.

I'm not bothering.

What?

I want to get off.

Well, have another one, man.

Go down to Brickley's, if you like. I'm not pushed.

Yippee -yi -yay.

Yippee -yi -yo -yo.

It means you can't ever complain.

Of course you can, but within reason. I mean, this is England.

People don't reckon it's fair. They want to bugger off to China or wherever. See

how they get on over there.

Some get your bollocks chopped off.

Look, a man without ambition is already dead. And that's what Forgey said to me,

and he's right.

I've got ambition, and so has this lot of them there. We've got plans, and that

wouldn't have meant that all a few years ago. But now, thanks to the properties

of this world, no matter where you're from, what school you went to, as long

you graft hard, you get rewarded.

That's progress if you have to make it.

We've got 50 bacon off.

Come on, it's bloody ridiculous, all this. You lot traipsing about after me.

It's like a bloody funeral procession. We're out of coffee.

Anybody want one?

What with the dog?

I'm getting off.

Why, what's up with you?

It's hard to get things done with a five -man bodyguard.

I ticked you like glue.

There's no need.

I'm fine.

I'll see you around.

Gibbo? Eh?

What are you doing here?

Eh? Good boy, eh?

Hold on, where is he?

How are you, Ken?

Fancy you coming down here, eh?

I live here.

I told him it looked familiar.

I'm not going to chuck me something under any bus if that's what you're

about. Well, you're right, there's plenty doing, eh?

See how I get on, eh?

Just knowing where to look.

I'll keep my eyes open.

Post office is good, you know.

At Christmas, I always got work.

Right, then.

You sure, er... What are you going to do this time? Fly down the chimney?

Look, I told you, I want to get on. I mean it.

Thanks for company.

Well, you know where we are. I'll be right, I do.

So what time we starting?

Look, give the ring this afternoon when you've done your calls.

Let us know you've got on, all right?

Aye. Don't be late in the morning.

They've give us the boot, Bernard.

Me and all.

No, you're going back, aren't you?

Not if you're not.

One for all, ain't it?

One for all, and all for one.

You explain, will you?

Just here on the right hand side.

Thanks.

That's perfect.

Aim for perfection.

Settle for excellence.

What? Oh sorry, the new man at work.

Been locking horns with him. Bit of a whippersnapper.

One or two interesting ideas though.

Anyway, I've had a great night.

Good. So have I.

I'll get off then.

Is there, um, somebody waiting up at home, keeping the home fires burning?

Um, I was seeing this bloke who got arrested for robbing a 7 -Eleven store

in America.

And he's in prison.

Are you, um... Well, I mean, you never mentioned...

No, I never found the right woman. But the thing is, right, I'm not being

It's just that now's a bad time, you know, for coffee and that.

But I would like to see you again.

I do like you, you know.

You're the kind of bloke I've always wanted.

Only now's bad.

Besides, you've got to be up at the crack, haven't you?

Get them rolling.

They can't start without the boss, man.

No, I don't suppose they can.

Try not to get anything on it. All right. Now, the next one.

Here we are. Wearing with pride.

I didn't know we were to get uniforms.

Otherwise, I wouldn't have washed these.

What can I do you for?

Eh? What size?

48. In centimetres?

I don't know.

I only know pound shillings and pence.

Large.

God.

Has this bloke got shares in a salt powder company or something?

Bloody graveyard round here.

It's about to take a while to settle.

There are other words.

Fancy a cup of tea, Ned? No, no.

Tastes like piss.

The chicken soup?

Aye, it tastes like chicken fist.

Besides, you know, I don't think we should be wasting our time.

I mean, not with management working hard on shop floor.

Mind you, he really should watch his back.

He is lifting three or four of those uniforms at the same time.

You bloody crazy man. We'll never finish all this, lad.

You're asking us to do our rope?

and then pulling what Eric's crew used to do.

That's very funny.

Look, you've got four weeks to fop out what you're doing. After that, the shit

hits the fan.

Any foul of some council can be an arrival.

Four weeks! We could have a five -year settling -in period. We'd still not

that lot, man.

Look at that.

You're forgetting.

We're one man short. We've got no ken.

You can't do that. We'll be up till midnight.

As long as it takes. We've given the public guarantees.

Be reasonable, will you? It is reasonable.

If you work at a reasonable pace, you'll get everything done.

If you piss about, you won't. It can't be done, man. It can.

I've seen the figures.

Frat.

Shit, hang on.

Maybe it looks worse on paper than it really is.

It's an attitude of mine.

Let's give it a chance. Come on.

Supercrew. Aye.

Supercrew.

Come on.

Morning.

I might have seen you in here.

Been a bit busy.

Been a few knackered.

Even Bernard started shouting out bollocks every time you stopped.

Right, you get what you deserve.

You see a bloke unbuckling his kegs and squatting down above you, you don't know

what to stop him. You can hardly complain when he starts shitting on you.

come on, Ken.

So what are you going to do?

Packing it in.

You what?

Well, it's not long till I go back to university.

I'm not the only one.

Nev's had enough post -Foxy. You cannot throw in the towel. Why not?

I don't like being taken advantage of.

You just can't because... Because you can't.

Have you got no balls, any of you? Oh, bloody hell, Ken.

I hate to state the obvious, but where have you been the last few weeks while

ought to have been giving the finger?

I'm tired, I'm bruised to buggery, and I don't need telling to get stuck in.

Especially by a bloke landing on the sideline.

Oh, what, you think I should have put my foot down?

Shoot me fifth?

I've stood round bonfires with a piece of card with a bit of two -by -one.

I've froze me knackers off doing it.

No -one takes a blind bit of notice.

You can be subtle.

Subtle?

Find out what the problem is with Ward.

You know.

Say you put it right. Say anything. Just get back on the round and then change

things.

Suddenly.

Yeah.

Oh. What are you doing? It's gone midnight.

Oh, sorry, love. I'm sorting some stuff out for Ned. I said I'd run it round.

What, now?

Yeah, he needs it first thing.

I'll not be long.

Oh, try not to make a noise when you come in. I've got to be up at five.

Polishing, is it? Or are you doing an early, early down the chippy?

I tell you what, have you thought about that milk ground? You know, if the

factory let you come in half an hour later... Ken, I'm scared.

A thousand, it's nothing.

I'm getting sorted.

Yeah, I know.

But it's been a month.

Nothing seems to be happening.

It will, all right.

Look, I'm getting my sense straight.

I'm OK now.

Ken, I want you to come and get checked with me at the hospital to see if we can

have a baby.

You what?

Well, I think there's something wrong.

I've been to see the doctor. He told me to wait.

But my period... When?

You never said.

I'm worried, Ken.

You're being daft. He's right.

You can't give it a chance.

No, I've got a feeling.

What feeling?

Not a feeling, that's all.

Christ, Ken, bloody stick by me.

Like you have me.

I don't mean that.

Look, I don't want to put any more pressure on you.

Well, that's up to you, innit?

I mean, up to now, you've been a bloody thing. I couldn't ask for any more.

Well, how do you want me to be?

Honest. Tell me you like it.

You like coming home from your different jobs and giving me my pocket money. You

like me out of work because it leaves you running the show. Well, I tell you,

doesn't run to you booking me in down the quack so they can tell me I'm firing

blanks. It's just a few tests.

Why are you being like this? Because I'm sick to death of you being so bloody

reasonable all the time when we both know what we should be doing is rowing.

stop feeling so bloody sorry for yourself.

I feel how I piss in like.

Yeah, you will, won't you?

You treat everyone the same. You treat them all like dirt. Oh, except for a few

of your bloody workmates who seem to have gotten under your skin.

I'm your wife, Ken.

Why won't you be like that with me?

Why won't you stick up for me? I'm your pissing wife!

Fotted meat.

Oh, we had that Tuesday.

Can I not made a money?

What have you got in here?

What? Bloody hell, John, that's a bit more like it. Here we'll have this

afternoon with it. Give it here.

I'm not bothered any road. I'm not stopping.

Why not?

I'm going to get my job back.

You're wasting your time.

You're marked, same as me.

Oh, aye?

So what are you going to do then?

Sit here the rest of your life and keep taking today's surprise package back to

the missus till your money runs out.

Come on, John.

They forced you out.

Force your way back in.

They can bollocks after what they've done to me.

That's what they want.

Roll over and die, boy. That's Gibbo's trick, innit?

Come on, you're worth more than that.

Sodom. I'm not grovelling to ward.

Get a toe in the door, John.

No matter what.

Get back to work.

What is a big, fat wanker?

Something.

Who's a wanker?

Actually, I was a bastard, right. Coming on like bloody Hitler.

Hey, who's a wanker?

I'm asking Ward.

It's got to be Ken that, hasn't it?

Why? Because every other booger's denied it. Except you. We all know you can't

spell.

Hello, Mr. Ward. Good morning.

Good morning, Mr. Ward. Mr. Ward. Hey, hey, Mr. Ward.

Hey, Mr. Ward. You turned your intercom off yesterday.

Did I really?

Why, no, man. I must have caught it getting off the cab. I want continuous

contact. I want to know where you are and what you're doing. Fair enough, man.

Today's the day, if you've forgotten. You drop a bollock today and the council

will put it on record. It'll cost us money to make the bloody effort.

Mr. Ward.

Can I have a word? Mr. Ward.

Now, what's the matter with you?

You've got no pride in your work.

What's the wanker, Mr. Ward? Well, at least you're not a big fat wanker.

Hey, lads.

Found out.

Operation Walmart, Mr. Ward.

Oh, the land that time forgot.

I think a bloody race couldn't get Walter to hand over his rubbish.

Those inspectors of yours, council police, they're like the bloody

I'm here, aren't I? Giving you the nod.

We promised a complete clean -up. We said we'd shift all the outstanding

in them little leaflets.

I did not write them little leaflets. Plus, there's a bonus.

What about it?

I'd like to know what it looks like. We've had crap on since we started. How

we going to make any study money?

You tell me.

Try printing the bastard stuff, mate.

Foxy, Operation Walter underway yet?

You changed your mind?

Over.

Everything understood.

The council are sending inspectors over this afternoon. The whole premises needs

to be spotless. They find that place looking like a typical corporate where

sun doesn't shine.

Aye, aye, aye. We'll see what we can do. Over.

Come on. We've got to just do it. Be positive.

Let's go for it. Bloody pointless.

He's a nutter.

Anyway, Walter is very possessive about his rubbish. You know that.

Mr Ward, you there?

Over. What?

Yeah, what's the city waste with insurance?

You know, dog bites and that. Is it the same as it was with the coat?

What are you talking about?

Well, Walter, he's got those dog things, you know, like little hosses.

The lads would have been... I don't care. I want his rubbish.

We need a plan, that's all.

I mean, remember what Folger said.

Be masters of our own destiny.

It's madness. They can't get done.

Look at all these defaults.

Guy, you're proper as man on the council. The last thing I need is your

hauling me over the coals.

Shouldn't the forge be too pleased if he couldn't find out you were lining up

with the enemy?

Don't threaten me, George.

Mr Ward!

What now?

All right, Mr Ward.

We've got a volunteer.

It's stuffed.

Go on, piss off.

You think you're getting it because I feel sorry for you?

Leading three seats to the wind doesn't give you the rights of robbery.

Won't it?

Shut up!

It costs money, you know. All that packaging.

70p for washing up liquid. What about the plastic bottle? You reckon they'll

throw that in for free, do you? Do they? Stop!

I've paid for every last bit of what's out there, and I'm keeping it.

Can I see your budgies?

Please. Now go in.

The decoy's going round the side of the house.

Over.

Christ, it stinks in here.

He told me this job was a piece of cake.

You set up on a nice big stick.

Right up my street, remember?

But it doesn't work.

How's it going?

Brian, er, not too bad. It's all taking shape now.

It was the lads.

The new system was confusing them. Thick as pig shit.

But they're beginning to get the hang of it now.

Good. Excellent.

One man's crisis is another man's opportunity.

Wouldn't you say so, George?

You farted.

I have not farted. Yes, you have. That's one of yours, man. I can tell.

You always try and slip a sly word in when we get you in my smelly. I think

going to be sick.

It stinks a bit there, Mr Ward, but don't you worry, we'll not let you down,

right? Over.

I never had you doubted as a budgety gal, Bad Bird. Do I?

I've my own.

Call him Troutman.

They're my favourite animals, don't care what you say.

We're now removing Walter's refuse.

Over.

This is bloody ridiculous.

I love them birds.

They're not like humans.

They won't shit on you from a great height. But I'm stuffed if I'm having

cooped up in some poxy cage in front room.

It's bloody barbaric, that is.

Right.

Foxy, are you there?

Turn that bloody thing off, will you?

You disturb Walter.

I'm there. I'm just placing you down on this bathtub.

So you don't blow your cover. Over.

You give them the equipment and they can't use it.

Foxy, come in.

Foxy!

Have you turned this thing off?

Are you there?

Foxy!

What was that?

I never wanted to.

They've ate me.

You miserable bastard!

Foxy! You've no bloody interest in my bed!

Start the bloody wagon!

How could you?

If that's the way you want to play it, then yell.

Mickey! Alfred!

George!

Speak some with him. Don't run.

No!

To err

is

human, George. To forgive is entirely dependent on recent results.

It's lovely, isn't it?

John bought it me the other day.

Is he coping all right?

Seems to be.

What about you?

Well, fine. You know, hell of a shake -up.

Still, nothing we can't deal with.

John said.

Oh, the council.

Let me know we're not living up to our usual high standards.

Can I get you a cup of tea?

No, thank you.

I've not got long.

Just a quick word with the old man and I'll be on my way.

Is he coming home?

Sorry?

Only he never mentioned when he went off this morning. Normally, if he's coming

home early, he tells me.

There's nothing wrong, is there?

Oh, no, no.

No, I thought he said he'd be... Anne, it's only me.

You did say, didn't you, John, this morning in the office that you were

back for your dinner today?

Or am I imagining things?

You couldn't get us both a cuppa, could you, love?

Thanks, love.

Get out of my house.

Don't be like that.

I've just told a fib on your behalf.

She's a good woman. I'm not having her worry now. Just piss off. I don't want

you here.

I've got a job for you. What?

Been having a chat with Forger. He wants us to reinforce one or two areas of our

operations. I thought of you straight away.

Doing what?

MBWA. Management by walking about.

We need a man on the spot with the lads.

You can start this afternoon.

You're a cheat.

You cheated at them bids and then you cheated me.

John, you're getting one of those selective memories.

I never knew the lads would get fired. Oh, yes, you did. You knew, but you put

yourself first.

Nothing wrong with that.

If there's one thing people have in common, it's the depth to which they'll

sink. I just hate it when everybody pretends it's otherwise.

So get off the high horse and tell me what you're going to do.

I've just been promoted, love.

It's a showbiz!

I lied to him.

He's going to shoot me.

Bernard, I promise, no -one's got a gun. They're not allowed here.

He's a bloody nutter.

He's gone, honest. Have a look. I don't care. He's got me trellised.

That's it.

That's it. You can all bollocks.

I'm handing in my notice the minute I get back.

There'll be no sudden need.

The speed we've gone this morning, the bloody cars will be out waiting.

I can't go any faster, Jono. Who can?

Bloody hell, son. I can only go so fast.

I fear the old one's changed up again.

Hey, have some respect.

I mean, look at him.

I said, look at him.

He's just done the sodding 440 yards with the hand of the bloody Baskerville.

He has recently come out of hospital and he happens to be your bloody father.

All right, lads.

Stop for a bit of dinner.

What are you doing here?

I'm not passing.

Thought I'd have a five -minute chat with you. Got no chance. Quick, sandwich

straight off.

Can't do that.

Got to wash your hands first.

What?

What are you talking about?

What are you doing here?

Dinner.

You what?

We'll have to stop and get a wash before we'll have our dinner.

Rules. Euro regulations.

You should be over by the brewery. It'll take you another half an hour to get

back there.

I know, it's a bugger, isn't it? But what do you do?

Perhaps you should have a word with Mr Forget.

Aye, so he sees stuff. You know, what proper flage that they bring in,

environmentally right way of doing things and that. You must remember.

Euro regulations.

Aye, what are you doing here?

Oh, sorry, am I banned?

Oh, I was just getting a lift, you know.

I want you back in that round.

Now. All of you.

Or you're out of a job come this evening.

Ken, I bloody told you.

Excuse me, Mr Ward. I don't like to poke my nose in or anything, but it's...

Well, it's official, like. You know, it's all them... Euro regulations.

Aye, that's right. It's all there.

I've been down the library, you know. I tell you, it's bloody great what you can

find out down there. They've got this microfilm thing, right? Leave it. I'm

talking to you. You have no business here. Do you understand?

I do understand, yeah.

Do you?

You're bloody bollocks.

See you, lad.

See you, Kent. See you.

So, we'll just have ten minutes with the Imperial Leather, if you don't mind.

Oh, lad.

It is bloody crazy, isn't it, really?

I mean, all these years we've never bothered, and now all of this.

Still, rules are rules, aren't they?

Jono. Yeah?

That's you, Dom.

What? Sorry, cut back. I might be able to get you in the odd day here and

I'll give you a ring. Hey, what do you mean?

Finish. I'm restructuring.

If the rest of you lads want to... Hang on a second.

Has this got anything to do with us having a wash?

Don't be ridiculous. It's ongoing.

This lad... I was going to write to you, but seeing as you're nipped back for

your dinner... My lad works his bollocks off on this round.

I'm very grateful. Now, if the rest of you lads want to crack on, John, as we

said, keep in contact.

Hang on, I'm fast this day. I go like the clappers.

He doesn't, all.

Yeah, well, you were the last in. What about me?

You're temporary. Or have you given up any ideas of going back to college? This

ain't fair.

I've done my bloody best to get this sodding round done. Listen, pal.

My lad hasn't put a foot wrong.

What gives you the right to sack him? Yeah, just answer me that.

Read your pissing contract.

All right, all right.

What's that?

Where's Boxman?

Brian, I've had to... He's shocked him. What?

Get him back.

He is your most effective worker.

But, Brian...

Mr Parry's wage.

I mean, my budget's only so big and we do need him. We agreed. We do need him.

We also need our best workers.

Now, you will absorb Mr Parry into your current spending and you will reappoint

Mr Fox.

You will also see about running an excess.

What? The council's not going to back down.

We have to target certain streets.

The wagon's rather underused, wouldn't you say?

Ah, Brian, something's cropped up.

George, I make a decision. You implement it. If you don't like the arrangement,

get out.

Come on, flash him!

Come on, knock now, not then!

Oh, fuck's sake. Oh, well, hang on, let's have a look.

Now, that's it.

Can't lift that, you'll get yourself a hernia. Right, anyway, it's got what's

on it?

Yeah. What?

Here.

European law definition of waste. Any bin containing human or animal or dure

need not be lifted.

Animal what?

Shit.

Anyway. Tabby crap.

Tabby crap. Tabby crap. Tabby crap.

Rules, rules, rules.

I don't know if we're going to have time to learn them all.

Can you let us have ten minutes, Ted?

I'll be in the cellar.

Thanks.

Marie!

Where is she?

How could you?

I said I bloody loved you. You what?

You were watching.

I just stopped in for a bloody beer. I've had a shit day. You were watching

I told you, Marie, it was a bloody accident.

Don't you come here often?

I'm crying.

Marie.

I love you. Oh, I know that love, Jono.

Always seems to end up the same, doesn't it? With shouting and aggro and folks

staring. You're wrong.

You don't know what you're talking about.

It's because they care about you.

All them blokes looking at you. I am not your property, right? I please my

bloody self.

Who the hell do you think you are anyway?

I've said I know.

I've said I loved you. You should be pleased to care.

I care for what you're doing.

Hypocrite.

I know you.

I've met you before.

No, not me, you Aunt Marie.

Christ, Marie.

I've had the bloody sack.

I've had a shit day.

I'm sorry, but... Well, I come in here and... You're taking your bloody clothes

off. Go on, get out.

You're a kid.

You shouldn't be in here. You're not old enough. I'm warning you, Marie. You

keep speaking to me like that. Oh, you're what?

I'm warning you. You're warning me?

What? Won't be the first time that's happened to me, Jono. Marie, don't push

all right? Go on, then. I'm telling you. Go on, then.

Marie.

You can go your own way It

doesn't matter what the

others say You can go your own

way You can go

your

own way Let me mention it.

Please, sit down.

It won't take a second.

Thing is, a position's come up.

Is that right?

I need a nexus.

Full time.

I thought they'd done away with them.

Well, I was never totally in favour of that, to be honest with you.

Besides, circumstances have changed. And now there's shit all over the road.

Well, what do you reckon, Denise?

What? Well, all the upset that's gone on.

Should I just let bygones be bygones?

I mean, it hasn't been a bed of roses for either of us, has it, since I got

off?

Should I just forgive and forget?

Well, I don't know, Ken.

I mean, the strain you've been under.

Aye, that's right.

I hadn't known whether I were coming or going.

What are you paying me?

147. Sorry, in Texas, a specialist job.

She's joking.

And besides, I couldn't sleep nights thinking I were on more than the rest of

the lads.

It'll do.

Right, that's sorted, then.

See you tomorrow.

Lovely.

Can you, er, see yourself out?

Are you trying to impress me?

Yeah.

You rotten bastard.

You want some bad you say?

What? It's you.

Are you in?

I should have called. I wonder whether you found me a bite to eat.

Oh, what were you celebrating?

Nothing. Could do with some company.

Great, right.

I'll be a minute.

Right.

We could phone for something.

Stay in if you like.

I like you.

Good.

Thing is, I'm saying this because... Oh, God, it's not easy.

But I'm not going to pretend and I'm not stopping because it's good money and

I've always done it. And if there was something else, then maybe I would stop.

But... What are you talking about?

I take my clothes off.

I strip.

You know, in a pub.

The other side of town.

And I want you to know that.

Because the chances are you'd find out eventually.

And at least this way, you know, straight away.

So?

So what do you think?

When are you next on?