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1
00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:24,960
Your mom is loaded.
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Stepmom. Hello? Is anyone home?
3
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Unless your mom likes dark and quiet, I
think she's out.
4
00:00:31,460 --> 00:00:36,400
Stepmom. I say we relax and wait for her
to come home. She could be gone for
5
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:37,740
hours. Whatever.
6
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,540
Knowing her, she can be gone for weeks.
7
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Even better.
8
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Zach.
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That's right. Say my name.
10
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Asshole. Oh, talk dirty.
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Love it.
12
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:53,200
Zach, are we going to do this whole dog
and heeking again?
13
00:00:53,660 --> 00:00:55,640
Well, Mommy's away. Zachy will play.
14
00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,300
I thought we got past the stage.
15
00:00:58,660 --> 00:00:59,660
What stage?
16
00:00:59,780 --> 00:01:01,660
The humping my legs stage.
17
00:01:01,980 --> 00:01:03,960
Oh, I haven't even gotten started yet.
18
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What if she comes home?
19
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You said it yourself.
20
00:01:10,540 --> 00:01:12,300
She could be gone for hours.
21
00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:16,760
Zach, this is weird. In my mom's place?
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Stepmom.
23
00:01:31,630 --> 00:01:33,030
Mmm.
24
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:44,560
What's wrong?
25
00:05:44,940 --> 00:05:50,720
Nothing. It's just, ever since we got
back together, it's been... Great. Yeah,
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know.
27
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:53,280
Great and not great.
28
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:58,320
Like, sex has been constant, and it's
like you need... Constant sex. Yeah, I
29
00:05:58,320 --> 00:05:59,320
know. No.
30
00:06:00,140 --> 00:06:01,400
Reaffirmation or reassurance.
31
00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:03,040
Reaffirm what?
32
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:04,500
I don't even know what that is.
33
00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:08,840
It's just constant, and I don't know if
it's ever going to change.
34
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Change?
35
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:12,960
Ah, change.
36
00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:17,900
No problem, baby. I know something
that's really going to change this up.
37
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:19,080
Where's your mom's kitchen?
38
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:23,080
Stepmom, and it's that way. Great.
39
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:30,320
Karen?
40
00:06:30,660 --> 00:06:33,460
Mom! I mean, stepmom. Shit.
41
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:35,840
What are you doing here?
42
00:06:36,420 --> 00:06:37,900
Well, uh...
43
00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:41,200
I wanted to introduce you to my new
boyfriend, Zach.
44
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:46,040
Well, he's not really my new boyfriend.
We broke up over spring break, but you
45
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:49,480
weren't home, so, uh... I can guess the
rest.
46
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And on my leather sofa.
47
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I'm going to have to have that cleaned
now.
48
00:06:54,940 --> 00:06:56,520
Where is this Zach, anyway?
49
00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:01,600
Hey, Karen, you said you wanted to
change things up, so...
50
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:08,020
Oh. Oh, hi, Karen's mom. It's a pleasure
to,
51
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:09,580
uh... Stepmom.
52
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:14,560
What exactly were you planning on doing
with that egg whisk?
53
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:19,440
Oh, well, there's a thing in Cambodia
where you... Karen, can I talk to you?
54
00:07:35,050 --> 00:07:37,450
I'm sorry about Zach. He gets a little
carried away.
55
00:07:37,910 --> 00:07:39,130
Yeah, this isn't about Zach.
56
00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:41,110
He's a really nice guy.
57
00:07:41,370 --> 00:07:42,410
Oh, I'm sure he is.
58
00:07:42,750 --> 00:07:47,050
Despite the fact that he stole my jello,
and I'm pretty sure what he was
59
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:50,590
planning on doing with that egg whisk
was incredibly unhygienic.
60
00:07:51,330 --> 00:07:53,450
Oh, I'm sure he's lovely in his own way.
61
00:07:54,030 --> 00:07:55,810
But this is about you, me, and your
father.
62
00:07:56,570 --> 00:07:57,570
What about us?
63
00:07:58,430 --> 00:08:00,330
You've never been poor before, have you?
64
00:08:01,530 --> 00:08:04,010
Your father was already a wealthy man
when you were born.
65
00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,460
So? So you don't know what it's like.
66
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:07,920
I do.
67
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:12,500
Before I met your father. Before you
stole him from my mother. Before that, I
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00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:13,419
was poor.
69
00:08:13,420 --> 00:08:16,900
Collecting coupons, living off welfare,
the whole nine yards.
70
00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:20,060
And what does this have to do with me?
71
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,460
We're going to be poor again.
72
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:40,640
Your father's met somebody.
73
00:08:40,940 --> 00:08:41,940
Oh, good.
74
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,000
Not good.
75
00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:45,660
Very bad.
76
00:08:46,060 --> 00:08:49,180
An ex -porn star named Mamrie Lane.
77
00:08:51,540 --> 00:08:57,480
She used her skills and assets to get
herself wrapped around your father's
78
00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:58,399
little pinky.
79
00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:01,020
Well, he's never had the best taste.
80
00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:07,100
She wants to marry him without a prenup
and take him to the cleaners.
81
00:09:07,829 --> 00:09:10,370
And how do you know this? Because that's
what she does.
82
00:09:10,910 --> 00:09:13,990
Mamrie Lane's the one that married that
85 -year -old billionaire.
83
00:09:14,490 --> 00:09:17,370
Well, she would have if he hadn't died
walking to the altar.
84
00:09:17,650 --> 00:09:19,730
Oh, yeah, I remember reading about that.
85
00:09:20,050 --> 00:09:21,050
Mamrie Lane.
86
00:09:21,410 --> 00:09:24,550
Look her up on the Internet if you want
to see what your father sees in her.
87
00:09:25,310 --> 00:09:27,030
Gross. No thanks.
88
00:09:27,370 --> 00:09:28,730
Too late. I already have.
89
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:41,480
Well, if you've been wondering how your
father's been doing, this is what he's
90
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:42,480
been doing.
91
00:09:54,220 --> 00:09:56,040
The infamous memory lane.
92
00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:02,060
Why go down memory lane when memory lane
will go down on you?
93
00:10:03,260 --> 00:10:04,420
It's your catchphrase.
94
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:06,120
It gets worse.
95
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:24,520
Those are like eighth and ninth wonders
of the world. Well, if you like that
96
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:25,520
kind of thing.
97
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,240
Wait till she lies back.
98
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:28,540
You'll see the grand king.
99
00:11:59,630 --> 00:12:00,630
I, uh...
100
00:12:33,450 --> 00:12:36,430
So we've got a few weeks until your
father's money is gone.
101
00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:41,370
Well, we'll have to get jobs.
102
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,330
Unless... Unless what?
103
00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:46,950
Our only hope of not being poor is to
find a rich man.
104
00:12:47,310 --> 00:12:50,290
Well, I'm not like that. You've never
had to be like that.
105
00:12:55,510 --> 00:12:58,430
So tell me, how do you really, really
feel about Zach?
106
00:12:58,750 --> 00:13:02,650
I mean, if you really love him, then
work in two dead -end jobs.
107
00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:04,700
will seem like a holiday.
108
00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:08,240
Oh. And living in a rat -infested
shoebox?
109
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,300
Well, that will feel like a mansion.
110
00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:13,140
And standing in line at the welfare
office?
111
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,580
Well, that will be a grand adventure.
112
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:19,020
Oh. That is, if you really love him.
113
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:22,960
Oh. Karen, do you really, really love
Zach?
114
00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:31,180
No. No.
115
00:13:45,660 --> 00:13:47,520
Zach. No, he must have hurt us.
116
00:13:50,700 --> 00:13:52,600
Karen, I know this is hard.
117
00:13:53,220 --> 00:13:55,320
Yeah, but I can't just let it end like
this.
118
00:13:55,580 --> 00:13:57,160
What, you've got a better way in mind?
119
00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:59,200
To end this dead -end relationship?
120
00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:01,380
This one -way ticket to the poorhouse?
121
00:14:01,660 --> 00:14:02,760
Without hurting Zach?
122
00:14:03,020 --> 00:14:04,400
Then you go right ahead.
123
00:14:06,460 --> 00:14:10,240
You'll thank me, I promise. Thank you
for what? For breaking his heart? For
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00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,300
getting you out of this predicament.
Which is what?
125
00:14:14,190 --> 00:14:15,690
I'm enrolling you in school.
126
00:14:16,170 --> 00:14:17,170
What?
127
00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:21,010
I'm the principal. In fact, I'm the
entire faculty.
128
00:14:21,430 --> 00:14:24,190
Oh, okay. And what school is this?
129
00:14:24,870 --> 00:14:26,030
Cougar College.
130
00:14:26,530 --> 00:14:30,850
I am way too young to be a cougar. Sure,
for now.
131
00:14:31,550 --> 00:14:34,590
Let's get you a head start. Think of it
as extra credits.
132
00:14:35,030 --> 00:14:36,110
Where are we going?
133
00:14:36,510 --> 00:14:37,510
To the hunting ground.
134
00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:40,090
To the hunting ground, my dear.
135
00:14:56,810 --> 00:14:58,330
So now we wait for our prey.
136
00:15:00,010 --> 00:15:02,130
And what does our prey look like?
137
00:15:02,570 --> 00:15:05,390
Rich, bored, lonely, and horny.
138
00:15:06,150 --> 00:15:07,150
Great.
139
00:15:07,650 --> 00:15:09,550
If they're all four, then it's great.
140
00:15:15,510 --> 00:15:18,250
Not those ones.
141
00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:20,130
Never hunt them when they're in a pack.
142
00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,960
We're looking for a man who's alone with
only his wallet to keep him company.
143
00:15:25,140 --> 00:15:26,140
Oh, how romantic.
144
00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:34,300
There he is, the prey.
145
00:15:34,780 --> 00:15:35,940
How do you know this?
146
00:15:36,460 --> 00:15:37,460
Let's don't drive up.
147
00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,500
Jaguar X5 Silver.
148
00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:41,820
And look at those shoes.
149
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,780
He's obviously got money and nobody to
spend it on.
150
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:49,160
So sad, all that money wasting away in
his bank account.
151
00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:55,140
And no one to love spending it. Yeah,
you're breaking my heart. So tell me,
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00:15:55,140 --> 00:15:56,140
do you do now?
153
00:15:56,820 --> 00:15:58,100
Darling, so naive.
154
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:00,080
Now is when the cougar strikes.
155
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,080
Hi.
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00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:13,660
Hi. I don't mean to bother. No, don't
bother.
157
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:15,520
If you were expecting someone. No,
nobody.
158
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:18,840
Please. I'm James Milton III.
159
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:21,620
And can I ask, what do you do?
160
00:16:22,380 --> 00:16:23,840
I'm in the swimming pool business.
161
00:16:24,060 --> 00:16:26,000
Oh, really? I love swimming pools.
162
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,540
I mean, I love to get wet.
163
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:34,800
What can I get you?
164
00:16:35,180 --> 00:16:36,580
Susan! Karen?
165
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:38,880
What are you doing here? I'm going to
school.
166
00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:40,440
What?
167
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:41,960
Don't wait up for me.
168
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,180
Well... Looks like school just got out
for the day.
169
00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:48,900
Wasn't that your stepmom?
170
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:50,160
No comment.
171
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,960
Anyway, what are you doing? What? It's
been like five years since we've seen
172
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:57,440
each other. Yeah, since we were
counselors at that camp together, right?
173
00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:00,280
Lake. Man, that seemed like a lifetime
ago.
174
00:17:00,540 --> 00:17:02,380
Yeah, you know, they closed that place
then.
175
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:06,400
So what are you doing here? Weren't you
traveling the world? That was your
176
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,400
dream, right?
177
00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:08,118
Did that.
178
00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:12,000
Turns out the world's round, so I ended
up back here. How was it?
179
00:17:12,260 --> 00:17:14,119
Oh, the trip out was amazing.
180
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:18,839
I met this really great guy while I was
traveling through Mexico, Juan.
181
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,880
He was so wonderful, and we had so many
great adventures together.
182
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:24,880
I've never felt so in love.
183
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:26,160
But then?
184
00:17:26,260 --> 00:17:32,160
Then there was the trip back, and it was
not so amazing, and Juan was not so
185
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:35,800
wonderful. Oh, no. We had a lot of
mishaps, and...
186
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,580
I think I just fell out of love.
187
00:17:37,940 --> 00:17:39,240
Oh, no. I'm sorry.
188
00:17:39,540 --> 00:17:42,600
I really thought he was going to be the
one.
189
00:17:43,140 --> 00:17:45,900
And it turned out he was just the one.
190
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:50,520
Yeah. So what happened to him? Oh, he
works in the back. He washes dishes
191
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:54,220
Oh, cool. So are you guys friends at
least? Oh, yeah. We'll be friends
192
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,060
Just not lovers. Not anymore.
193
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,660
So you're in the swimming pool business,
huh?
194
00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:06,120
Uh...
195
00:18:06,860 --> 00:18:10,320
And business is good? Oh, it's never
been better.
196
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:13,480
How's your turnover?
197
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,880
Huge. I like the sound of that.
198
00:18:19,900 --> 00:18:23,320
Whoa, you don't waste any time, do you?
Nope.
199
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,500
And that's how you got to the top of
your business?
200
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:29,760
Yeah. Oh.
201
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:40,760
must be rich.
202
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,040
Stepmom.
203
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,480
Are you sure your mom won't mind us
staying here?
204
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,320
Stepmom. And no, she won't mind.
205
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:50,780
She's too busy pulling her How to Marry
a Millionaire bit.
206
00:18:51,180 --> 00:18:54,260
Oh, well, we won't need to stay long,
you know, just until we get our first
207
00:18:54,260 --> 00:18:55,260
paycheck from the bar.
208
00:18:55,460 --> 00:18:57,600
Oh, no, stay as long as you guys like,
really.
209
00:18:58,260 --> 00:19:01,560
I mean, that is, until we lose this
place.
210
00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:07,360
Lose it? Why would you lose it? Well,
it's my father's place, and he's about
211
00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:10,190
lose it. In fact, He's about to lose
everything.
212
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:11,550
Why?
213
00:19:11,890 --> 00:19:13,630
He's about to fall into the Grand
Canyon.
214
00:19:14,110 --> 00:19:15,110
What?
215
00:19:15,770 --> 00:19:19,050
No, there's this gold digger, and she's
got her claws in him.
216
00:19:19,410 --> 00:19:22,310
He's going to marry her, and she's going
to take everything he's got.
217
00:19:22,650 --> 00:19:23,650
Oh, no.
218
00:19:24,110 --> 00:19:27,270
She's this ex -adult film star named
Mamma Elaine.
219
00:19:27,730 --> 00:19:29,810
My stepmom showed me some of her work.
220
00:19:30,150 --> 00:19:32,190
Really? And what's she like?
221
00:19:33,110 --> 00:19:36,350
Well, she's never going to drown. I'll
put it that way.
222
00:19:36,790 --> 00:19:38,350
She's absolutely amazing.
223
00:19:39,210 --> 00:19:40,850
What? Yeah.
224
00:19:41,190 --> 00:19:42,730
So I've seen a few movies.
225
00:19:43,870 --> 00:19:45,550
Guys, all the same.
226
00:19:45,790 --> 00:19:48,710
I think she's a great actress. I mean,
she really gets into character.
227
00:19:49,510 --> 00:19:50,449
Yeah, sure.
228
00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:51,970
The next Meryl Streep of porn.
229
00:19:52,950 --> 00:19:56,090
Except now, she's into a whole new type
of acting.
230
00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:58,390
Audience of one. My dad.
231
00:19:58,910 --> 00:19:59,910
Lucky man.
232
00:20:00,939 --> 00:20:04,720
Anyway, my stepmom is on the hunt for a
new sugar daddy. That's why she brought
233
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,800
me to the bar the other night to show me
the ropes.
234
00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:08,820
Cougar college, she called it.
235
00:20:09,460 --> 00:20:13,000
Cougar? You're far too young to be a
cougar. That's what I said.
236
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,460
I mean, give it ten years or so.
237
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:18,680
Twenty, like twenty years.
238
00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:22,440
Anyway, so it looked like your stepmom
was doing fine when she left the bar.
239
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,700
Yeah, she won't be back until the
morning.
240
00:22:28,010 --> 00:22:29,010
Thank you.
241
00:23:55,330 --> 00:23:57,670
Hey, I think your cell phone's on hold.
242
00:24:10,510 --> 00:24:12,510
Oh, uh, hello, sir. How are you?
243
00:24:12,970 --> 00:24:15,290
No, no, I've been away for a while. Uh,
244
00:24:16,390 --> 00:24:17,229
uh, today.
245
00:24:17,230 --> 00:24:19,990
You're coming back early. That's really
great, sir.
246
00:24:20,730 --> 00:24:24,590
Um, no, no, I put, uh, I put fresh
chlorine in it yesterday, sir.
247
00:24:24,810 --> 00:24:26,410
And I skimmed the leaves. Yeah.
248
00:24:27,070 --> 00:24:29,810
Right away, sir. Okay. No, I'll see you
then, sir.
249
00:24:30,230 --> 00:24:31,630
All right. Good. Goodbye.
250
00:24:34,250 --> 00:24:35,590
Swimming pool business, huh?
251
00:24:36,030 --> 00:24:37,430
Yeah. Yeah.
252
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:41,120
I thought you owned a company that sells
and installs them.
253
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:43,380
Yeah, I know.
254
00:24:44,660 --> 00:24:47,560
Yeah, but instead... I clean them. Yeah.
255
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:51,640
And this house belongs... It's my
boss's. Yeah.
256
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,600
The clothes, the car. Yeah, they're his.
257
00:24:55,940 --> 00:24:56,940
Well,
258
00:24:58,060 --> 00:24:59,520
at least the sex was good.
259
00:25:01,420 --> 00:25:03,460
You're not going to tell him, are you?
260
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,100
That I fell for it? Yeah, I don't think
I'll mention it.
261
00:25:12,110 --> 00:25:16,550
You know, I really thought that you were
on Forbes magazine's top 500 riches
262
00:25:16,550 --> 00:25:17,550
list.
263
00:25:17,790 --> 00:25:20,530
Honey, I can't even afford to be on
their mailing list.
264
00:25:21,670 --> 00:25:25,090
So let me guess. You need me to get out
of here before your boss comes in?
265
00:25:25,550 --> 00:25:27,290
Actually, yeah. Yeah. I do.
266
00:25:29,310 --> 00:25:30,310
Okay.
267
00:25:33,610 --> 00:25:34,610
You're not mad?
268
00:25:34,710 --> 00:25:37,290
I'm mad. But I said the sex was good.
269
00:25:37,890 --> 00:25:39,390
And maybe I deserve it.
270
00:25:39,630 --> 00:25:42,800
Really? Well, I was using you because I
thought that you were rich.
271
00:25:43,420 --> 00:25:45,100
You know, maybe Karen's right.
272
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:47,040
Maybe I've got to grow up and face the
music.
273
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:48,539
Who's Karen?
274
00:25:48,540 --> 00:25:49,960
My daughter. My stepdaughter.
275
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:07,280
Thanks, Karen.
276
00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:13,360
Oh, that's good.
277
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,100
Oh, hey, how did it go?
278
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:22,440
Oh, don't ask.
279
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:27,380
So, did you get, uh... Are you having a
party?
280
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:31,820
Oh, I invited them to stay. This is
Susan, my friend from summer camp.
281
00:26:32,180 --> 00:26:34,940
And this is Juan, her traveling
companion.
282
00:26:35,740 --> 00:26:39,240
Is that okay? I wanted to ask, but, you
know, you were out.
283
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,160
Sure.
284
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,780
They can stay as long as we can stay.
285
00:26:47,860 --> 00:26:49,280
Mom seems a little upset.
286
00:26:49,980 --> 00:26:50,980
Stepmom.
287
00:26:54,580 --> 00:26:56,040
So, how does it feel?
288
00:26:56,740 --> 00:26:58,020
Why don't you see for yourself?
289
00:27:03,340 --> 00:27:04,340
Hello.
290
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:08,800
Hi.
291
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:10,880
My name is Juan.
292
00:27:12,270 --> 00:27:13,270
Pleased to meet you.
293
00:27:15,510 --> 00:27:18,730
Um, would you like to go swim with us in
the swimming pool?
294
00:27:19,310 --> 00:27:23,670
I do not want to hear the word swimming
pool mentioned for a while.
295
00:27:25,330 --> 00:27:26,950
So, does this remind you of anything?
296
00:27:28,350 --> 00:27:30,410
Instead of a pool, it was Crystal Lake.
297
00:27:31,130 --> 00:27:33,930
Instead of our bathing suits, we were...
Oh, yeah.
298
00:27:34,150 --> 00:27:36,930
Our beauty dipping adventure. Yeah. I
remember.
299
00:27:37,330 --> 00:27:38,330
Oh, I never forgot.
300
00:27:38,830 --> 00:27:40,270
Or what happened afterwards.
301
00:27:40,470 --> 00:27:41,710
Back in the cabin.
302
00:27:42,530 --> 00:27:43,670
Yeah, I remember.
303
00:27:44,030 --> 00:27:45,030
Yeah.
304
00:27:45,850 --> 00:27:49,390
I've been thinking about us. The time we
shared, you know?
305
00:27:49,990 --> 00:27:53,090
Yeah. We were young and experimenting.
306
00:27:53,770 --> 00:27:57,070
Yeah. Have you done any more
experimenting with any other girls?
307
00:27:57,690 --> 00:27:59,850
Well, there was this one girl.
308
00:28:00,450 --> 00:28:02,850
Emmanuelle. Well, I thought that was her
name.
309
00:28:03,210 --> 00:28:05,410
I also thought she was French.
310
00:28:05,870 --> 00:28:07,390
Oh, she sounds interesting.
311
00:28:08,350 --> 00:28:10,830
But was she as interesting as me?
312
00:28:14,270 --> 00:28:20,250
You know, I don't know if I'm really a,
you know... A lesbian?
313
00:28:21,130 --> 00:28:23,030
Yeah, I was experimenting.
314
00:28:23,350 --> 00:28:28,650
Oh, I know. I was too, but maybe my
experiment isn't over.
315
00:28:46,190 --> 00:28:47,190
I'm sorry I'm late.
316
00:28:47,470 --> 00:28:48,570
So what's the problem?
317
00:28:48,770 --> 00:28:52,030
Well, you're one of Karen's friends,
right? I thought maybe you could help me
318
00:28:52,030 --> 00:28:55,850
out. Okay, so start at the beginning.
Tell me what problem you have.
319
00:28:56,230 --> 00:28:57,230
I'm not rich.
320
00:28:58,090 --> 00:28:59,090
Huh?
321
00:28:59,270 --> 00:29:01,630
And, well, Karen's mom... Staff mom.
322
00:29:02,210 --> 00:29:05,910
Right. She wants Karen to be with
someone who's rich because she doesn't
323
00:29:05,910 --> 00:29:06,769
her to be poor.
324
00:29:06,770 --> 00:29:11,010
And she asked Karen if she loved me
enough to work two jobs and be on
325
00:29:11,110 --> 00:29:12,110
and Karen said no.
326
00:29:12,350 --> 00:29:14,170
Wow. So I was thinking, you're rich.
327
00:29:15,230 --> 00:29:17,250
Maybe you could help me to be rich, too.
328
00:29:17,710 --> 00:29:23,590
Ah, so you'd like me to make you rich
like I am.
329
00:29:23,830 --> 00:29:24,830
Exactly.
330
00:29:25,010 --> 00:29:26,870
Would you like me to give you all my
money?
331
00:29:27,110 --> 00:29:28,470
Oh, you'd do that for me?
332
00:29:28,970 --> 00:29:29,970
No. Oh.
333
00:29:33,110 --> 00:29:38,810
Well, maybe you could tell me your
secrets. You know, like secret rich
334
00:29:38,810 --> 00:29:39,810
secrets?
335
00:29:39,990 --> 00:29:40,990
Like what?
336
00:29:42,250 --> 00:29:43,890
Well, like what's the best way to be
rich?
337
00:29:45,010 --> 00:29:46,690
Well, there is the best way to be rich.
338
00:29:47,030 --> 00:29:51,110
Okay, well, what is it? The absolute
best way is to be born into a rich
339
00:29:51,590 --> 00:29:53,790
You know, like a rich dad, rich mother.
340
00:29:54,350 --> 00:29:55,350
It's easy.
341
00:29:56,010 --> 00:29:57,010
Okay,
342
00:29:57,650 --> 00:29:58,950
well, what's the second best way?
343
00:29:59,250 --> 00:30:00,570
Well, you can invent something.
344
00:30:01,150 --> 00:30:05,150
You know, like those plastic tips on the
end of shoelaces.
345
00:30:05,950 --> 00:30:06,950
Facebook.
346
00:30:07,190 --> 00:30:08,190
Personal calculator.
347
00:30:08,530 --> 00:30:10,810
Yeah, but those have already been
invented, haven't they?
348
00:30:11,230 --> 00:30:13,720
Yeah. I was using those as an example.
349
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:16,760
Oh. So you have to invent something
else.
350
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:18,320
Something new.
351
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:22,480
That would be about it. You know,
something new. That's why they call it
352
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:24,080
invention. Oh.
353
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:26,680
Right.
354
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:29,700
Okay, what's the third best way?
355
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:32,000
You need to make quick money, right?
Yeah, I do.
356
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:34,060
And there's nothing that you wouldn't
do?
357
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:38,060
No, I wouldn't. All right, then you need
to get into the cougar market.
358
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:40,160
The what?
359
00:30:40,300 --> 00:30:41,300
All right.
360
00:30:41,740 --> 00:30:45,700
I know my mother isn't into it, but some
of her friends are. They pay huge money
361
00:30:45,700 --> 00:30:46,960
for company.
362
00:30:48,020 --> 00:30:50,100
Okay. What kind of a company?
363
00:30:52,420 --> 00:30:53,460
They want sex.
364
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:56,120
All right? No strings attached.
365
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:57,399
Younger men.
366
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:58,700
They pay big money.
367
00:30:59,820 --> 00:31:00,820
Oh.
368
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:02,780
You said there was nothing you wouldn't
do.
369
00:31:03,220 --> 00:31:05,220
Oh, I need money if I'm going to impress
Karen.
370
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:08,680
Oh, fine. Just don't let her know where
the money came from.
371
00:31:09,140 --> 00:31:11,200
And you can hook me up with one of these
gigs? Yeah.
372
00:31:11,630 --> 00:31:15,070
I can give some of my mother's friends a
call, and I'll hook you up.
373
00:31:16,750 --> 00:31:17,750
Cool.
374
00:31:18,470 --> 00:31:19,470
I think.
375
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:27,920
Oh, it still bothers you that your
girlfriend... Ex -girlfriend.
376
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:30,740
Yeah, right, but it still bothers you.
377
00:35:31,140 --> 00:35:32,680
That she's with your daughter?
378
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:34,200
Stepdaughter.
379
00:35:34,780 --> 00:35:37,380
Right, well, as long as she's happy.
380
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:40,600
That is so unselfish of you.
381
00:35:41,720 --> 00:35:42,900
That's funny you should say that.
382
00:35:43,900 --> 00:35:47,440
Halfway around our world trip together,
she said that I was selfish.
383
00:35:48,460 --> 00:35:49,460
I'm sorry.
384
00:35:52,990 --> 00:35:54,310
Wow. What was that?
385
00:35:55,330 --> 00:35:57,690
A scream or was it... Orgasm.
386
00:35:57,910 --> 00:36:00,030
Well, let's hope so. If not, we should
be calling 911.
387
00:36:01,350 --> 00:36:02,350
Yeah.
388
00:36:06,350 --> 00:36:08,370
What's wrong? You seem a little worried.
389
00:36:09,890 --> 00:36:12,330
I made a fool of myself last night.
390
00:36:12,610 --> 00:36:14,230
Oh, we've all done that.
391
00:36:14,850 --> 00:36:16,070
Yeah, I'll chase this man.
392
00:36:16,510 --> 00:36:20,130
I had all the wrong reasons and then it
turned out to be the wrong guy.
393
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:24,120
I'm getting old.
394
00:36:24,820 --> 00:36:25,820
No.
395
00:36:27,240 --> 00:36:28,440
Losing my touch.
396
00:36:28,860 --> 00:36:30,060
I doubt that.
397
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,640
Karen and I are going to lose
everything.
398
00:36:36,220 --> 00:36:39,400
The money, the house, our security.
399
00:36:39,980 --> 00:36:41,060
Well, that's not everything.
400
00:36:42,580 --> 00:36:44,400
I'd say my self -respect.
401
00:36:45,220 --> 00:36:47,220
I lost that last night.
402
00:36:50,500 --> 00:36:52,510
So... Why are you going to lose
everything?
403
00:36:53,050 --> 00:36:55,670
Mac's husband is Karen's stepfather.
404
00:36:56,610 --> 00:36:59,970
He's making the biggest mistake of his
life.
405
00:37:01,010 --> 00:37:02,010
Ugh.
406
00:37:28,170 --> 00:37:29,730
Thank you. Thank you.
407
00:37:31,530 --> 00:37:35,110
Thank you.
408
00:37:35,450 --> 00:37:37,670
Thank you.
409
00:38:23,980 --> 00:38:24,980
Thank you.
410
00:39:39,210 --> 00:39:40,210
Thank you.
411
00:41:16,780 --> 00:41:21,000
Why would you want to go down memory
lane when memory lane can go down on
412
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:25,220
Are you going to say that every time?
413
00:41:25,580 --> 00:41:28,720
Well, yes. It's my catchphrase.
414
00:41:54,780 --> 00:41:55,780
Fine.
415
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:59,640
Well, I don't know.
416
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:04,340
We never really talked about that. The
prenup.
417
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:07,620
No teeth.
418
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:08,880
No teeth.
419
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:12,380
Tom, I'm going to call you back.
420
00:42:13,060 --> 00:42:14,580
Okay. Bye.
421
00:42:15,500 --> 00:42:16,800
What'd you do that for?
422
00:42:17,220 --> 00:42:21,460
It's that word prenup. I hate it so much
it makes my jaws clench up.
423
00:42:22,700 --> 00:42:24,340
Well, I'm not going to say that again.
424
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:27,640
Well, it's better. Now let me go finish
what I started.
425
00:42:30,700 --> 00:42:32,820
Actually, I'm good.
426
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:34,200
I'm okay.
427
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:36,100
Maybe a little ice.
428
00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:42,680
I guess it's time to face the music.
429
00:42:44,500 --> 00:42:45,500
What music?
430
00:42:47,100 --> 00:42:49,980
All my life I've gotten what I wanted
with my looks.
431
00:42:51,060 --> 00:42:52,820
But I guess they're fading now.
432
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:54,080
No.
433
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:55,480
No way.
434
00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:57,680
You're just the sweetest guy.
435
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:00,000
Sweetest. No.
436
00:43:00,220 --> 00:43:02,280
I just think you're beautiful. Really.
437
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:03,800
You're so sweet.
438
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:05,440
Nah.
439
00:43:07,860 --> 00:43:11,300
Sweet isn't life for you because I'm
selfish.
440
00:43:12,220 --> 00:43:14,320
How are you selfish?
441
00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:19,260
I see what I want and I go get it.
442
00:43:20,840 --> 00:43:22,580
Even if you hurt someone?
443
00:43:24,669 --> 00:43:26,270
Yeah. This
444
00:43:26,270 --> 00:43:33,410
is
445
00:43:33,410 --> 00:43:35,530
crazy. You're not even Ritz.
446
00:43:35,770 --> 00:43:38,310
Nope. And you're my daughter's name.
447
00:43:39,430 --> 00:43:40,430
Stepdaughter.
448
00:47:42,090 --> 00:47:43,150
Wow, that was quick.
449
00:47:43,430 --> 00:47:45,270
Yeah, they're busy down there.
450
00:47:46,410 --> 00:47:47,410
Poor Juan.
451
00:47:47,910 --> 00:47:50,890
You know, sometimes I think I was too
harsh on him on our trip.
452
00:47:51,230 --> 00:47:56,130
Mm -hmm. I said he was selfish, but
maybe he was just being honest and
453
00:47:56,130 --> 00:47:57,130
his nature.
454
00:47:57,150 --> 00:47:58,150
Mm -hmm.
455
00:47:58,190 --> 00:48:00,030
So what were they doing down there?
456
00:48:00,570 --> 00:48:04,550
Oh, nothing. You know, just following
their nature.
457
00:48:05,070 --> 00:48:06,070
What?
458
00:48:06,430 --> 00:48:07,430
Your mom?
459
00:48:07,710 --> 00:48:08,710
Dad's mom.
460
00:48:09,310 --> 00:48:10,850
Yeah, but still.
461
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:16,320
I was on my way to get a glass of water,
but I didn't want to interrupt, so... I
462
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:17,860
mean, they are both single.
463
00:48:19,420 --> 00:48:20,580
Yeah, definitely.
464
00:48:21,820 --> 00:48:22,820
Wait a minute.
465
00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:25,320
You're not jealous, are you?
466
00:48:26,060 --> 00:48:28,760
No. No, not at all.
467
00:48:45,260 --> 00:48:47,840
Well, you're not a selfish lover at all.
468
00:48:49,300 --> 00:48:52,100
Maybe you should mention that to Susan.
Yeah, or not.
469
00:48:52,900 --> 00:48:54,460
Oh, or not.
470
00:49:22,859 --> 00:49:26,820
Wake up. Wake up. Come on. Get up.
You've got to get moving. Get out of
471
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:28,340
You've got to get up. Daddy's here. I
know.
472
00:49:31,900 --> 00:49:32,900
Anybody home?
473
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:34,800
What are you doing?
474
00:49:35,740 --> 00:49:36,740
Covering your ass.
475
00:49:43,260 --> 00:49:44,440
What are you doing here?
476
00:49:45,220 --> 00:49:46,220
Daddy.
477
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:47,800
Daddy.
478
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:50,638
Who's that?
479
00:49:50,640 --> 00:49:51,598
My friend.
480
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:52,600
My friend won.
481
00:49:52,940 --> 00:49:53,940
Special friend.
482
00:49:54,620 --> 00:49:55,620
Spare me the details.
483
00:49:55,920 --> 00:49:58,040
Back to my original question. What are
you doing here?
484
00:49:58,260 --> 00:50:00,400
Oh, you mean in the house that I still
own?
485
00:50:01,940 --> 00:50:04,060
Yes. I need to talk to you.
486
00:50:05,300 --> 00:50:06,640
Fine. Let's talk.
487
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:08,040
Outside.
488
00:50:12,300 --> 00:50:13,400
I know.
489
00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:15,320
Exactly what I was thinking.
490
00:50:19,790 --> 00:50:21,970
I don't know if you know it or not, but
I'm in a relationship.
491
00:50:22,810 --> 00:50:23,810
Do you want to call it that?
492
00:50:24,250 --> 00:50:27,050
With a wonderful woman. With a colorful
past.
493
00:50:27,570 --> 00:50:29,430
As a respected actress.
494
00:50:33,310 --> 00:50:34,310
Oh, yeah, sorry.
495
00:50:34,830 --> 00:50:35,830
Respected, yes.
496
00:50:47,150 --> 00:50:50,050
So things have progressed, and I...
You're getting married.
497
00:50:51,190 --> 00:50:52,190
Yes.
498
00:50:53,130 --> 00:50:54,130
Congratulations.
499
00:50:55,090 --> 00:50:57,670
Thank you. And you'll be needing to sell
this house.
500
00:50:58,010 --> 00:51:01,230
To keep her in the lifestyle and the
manner she's accustomed to?
501
00:51:01,610 --> 00:51:04,450
Yeah. Because bras that big cost a lot
of money.
502
00:51:05,190 --> 00:51:06,690
No need to be that way.
503
00:51:07,550 --> 00:51:08,550
Sorry.
504
00:51:10,850 --> 00:51:11,910
How long do we have?
505
00:51:12,690 --> 00:51:14,210
We're getting married at the end of the
month.
506
00:51:15,170 --> 00:51:16,170
Wow.
507
00:51:16,799 --> 00:51:18,280
I'm sorry it had to be this way.
508
00:51:21,180 --> 00:51:22,180
Are you happy?
509
00:51:26,140 --> 00:51:27,680
Yes. Does she love you?
510
00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:33,320
Yes. Yeah, but does he love you for you
and not just your money?
511
00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:35,200
Yes.
512
00:51:36,500 --> 00:51:39,900
That whole 90 -year -old billionaire
thing was a long time ago.
513
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:42,200
She's changed.
514
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:46,330
Good. Besides, most of that was bad
reporting in the media anyway.
515
00:51:46,550 --> 00:51:48,890
I can see how that can be misconstrued.
516
00:51:49,590 --> 00:51:50,590
Exactly.
517
00:51:53,810 --> 00:51:57,430
Well then, if you love her and she loves
you... Yes.
518
00:51:58,250 --> 00:51:59,470
I'm happy for you.
519
00:52:01,030 --> 00:52:02,190
Would you like to meet her?
520
00:52:03,050 --> 00:52:04,710
I feel like I already have.
521
00:52:06,170 --> 00:52:08,890
The Internet, it's a great new
invention.
522
00:52:11,450 --> 00:52:12,850
Right. Well...
523
00:52:13,050 --> 00:52:15,650
She's going to be in town tonight. I
can't make it.
524
00:52:15,910 --> 00:52:17,830
She'll be having dinner and drinks at
the bar.
525
00:52:18,470 --> 00:52:20,110
I'm sure she would love some company.
526
00:52:21,390 --> 00:52:22,390
Oh, great.
527
00:52:22,830 --> 00:52:26,650
She's dying to meet you, so pop on by if
you have a chance.
528
00:52:36,950 --> 00:52:39,510
Daddy, is it true that you are... Yes.
529
00:52:40,050 --> 00:52:41,650
The wedding is at the end of the month.
530
00:52:43,340 --> 00:52:45,240
And I would like for you to be the maid
of honor.
531
00:52:46,500 --> 00:52:47,760
Oh, wow.
532
00:52:48,540 --> 00:52:52,200
Okay. She's going to be at the bar
tonight, so that gives us the perfect
533
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:53,840
opportunity to meet her.
534
00:52:54,100 --> 00:52:55,540
Really? Cool.
535
00:52:56,140 --> 00:52:57,140
Go back to sleep.
536
00:52:57,520 --> 00:53:01,040
Well, I better be going. I need to see a
realtor about putting this place back
537
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:02,040
on the market.
538
00:53:02,660 --> 00:53:03,660
Terrific.
539
00:53:14,440 --> 00:53:17,060
I'm sorry that this is so sudden for you
two.
540
00:53:18,060 --> 00:53:19,980
Hey, who are we to stand in the way of
true love?
541
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:22,280
That's really nice of you.
542
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:24,340
You surprise me sometimes.
543
00:53:24,900 --> 00:53:25,900
Is that right?
544
00:53:27,760 --> 00:53:32,080
You know, I can't help but think if we
could have just maybe made it work.
545
00:53:33,420 --> 00:53:34,420
Maybe we still can.
546
00:53:36,500 --> 00:53:38,180
I'm getting married at the end of the
month.
547
00:53:38,720 --> 00:53:42,500
Right. I'm the happiest man in the
world. I hope to see you two at my big
548
00:53:43,340 --> 00:53:44,340
You too.
549
00:53:45,020 --> 00:53:46,220
Whatever your name is.
550
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:47,600
Juan, please.
551
00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:50,200
Right.
552
00:53:52,920 --> 00:53:57,320
Okay, we have a chance to save your
father from making the biggest mistake
553
00:53:57,320 --> 00:53:58,320
his life.
554
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:02,980
And how are we going to do that? How bad
do you all want to meet Mamrie Lane?
555
00:54:06,220 --> 00:54:07,880
This is local. This is crazy.
556
00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:09,160
This is insane.
557
00:54:09,880 --> 00:54:10,940
I'm not even a good actor.
558
00:54:11,180 --> 00:54:12,780
Neither are you. You've seen her movies.
559
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:19,860
Oh, we need something for his head.
560
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:21,760
We could use a cloth from the kitchen.
561
00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:22,638
A cloth?
562
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:23,640
Really?
563
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:28,360
I know this is weird, and it's not going
to be easy.
564
00:54:28,700 --> 00:54:31,400
It's a long shot, but it is the only
shot we've got.
565
00:54:31,860 --> 00:54:34,260
We need your help. Please help us.
566
00:54:36,700 --> 00:54:37,700
Okay.
567
00:54:38,090 --> 00:54:39,990
What was I supposed to say my father's
name was again?
568
00:54:48,330 --> 00:54:53,110
You know, I was pretty surprised when
Marjorie called me. Marjorie?
569
00:54:53,610 --> 00:54:57,150
Yeah, she was the one that originally
hired you.
570
00:54:57,470 --> 00:55:01,930
But her husband gave himself a hernia
lifting the lawnmower in the garage.
571
00:55:02,630 --> 00:55:03,910
So she had to cancel.
572
00:55:04,230 --> 00:55:05,230
Oh.
573
00:55:05,530 --> 00:55:09,710
But... Lucky for me, my husband is away
on business all the time.
574
00:55:10,610 --> 00:55:12,830
So... Right.
575
00:55:13,910 --> 00:55:14,910
Right.
576
00:55:15,730 --> 00:55:17,010
You seem a little nervous.
577
00:55:17,410 --> 00:55:19,870
Oh, I've never done this before.
578
00:55:20,630 --> 00:55:21,690
You're a virgin?
579
00:55:21,990 --> 00:55:24,750
No, no. I'm just not on a professional
basis.
580
00:55:25,270 --> 00:55:29,710
Oh. Well, honey, there's nothing to
worry about.
581
00:55:30,370 --> 00:55:35,110
You see, you get paid, you get laid.
It's the easiest job in the world.
582
00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:38,600
Easiest job in the world. Yeah, I tell
you what.
583
00:55:40,140 --> 00:55:41,760
I'll lead. You follow.
584
00:55:42,780 --> 00:55:43,780
Okay.
585
00:56:30,629 --> 00:56:33,430
Thank you.
586
00:57:26,020 --> 00:57:28,820
Thank you.
587
00:57:44,819 --> 00:57:46,220
Oh!
588
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:49,000
Oh!
589
00:57:53,540 --> 00:57:54,540
Oh!
590
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:18,200
I'll see you then.
591
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:15,100
Excuse me. Are you Mamrie Lane?
592
00:59:15,340 --> 00:59:17,740
I sure am. Oh, I'm a big fan.
593
00:59:18,160 --> 00:59:19,360
Can I get your autograph?
594
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:22,820
Sure. Do you have something I could
write it on? Oh, no.
595
00:59:23,300 --> 00:59:26,280
Maybe we could use a napkin or something
over there.
596
00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:29,200
Oh, that tickles.
597
00:59:30,440 --> 00:59:31,640
Thank you. You're welcome.
598
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:35,200
Oh, wow.
599
00:59:36,100 --> 00:59:40,400
That is the firstborn son of the Sultan
of Brunei.
600
00:59:40,800 --> 00:59:42,400
The Sultan of Brunei?
601
00:59:43,220 --> 00:59:47,100
The Sultan of Brunei. He's the richest
man in the world.
602
00:59:47,360 --> 00:59:50,760
Look, everyone is staring at him. They
cannot believe he's here.
603
00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:55,660
He owns, like, all of the oil fields in
the Middle East.
604
00:59:56,840 --> 00:59:58,600
Oil groves and fields?
605
01:00:00,420 --> 01:00:03,980
The Sultan is very old, like 102.
606
01:00:04,460 --> 01:00:08,560
And when he dies, his firstborn son
inherits everything.
607
01:00:10,590 --> 01:00:11,590
Everything?
608
01:00:12,390 --> 01:00:13,710
How much is that?
609
01:00:14,090 --> 01:00:16,730
One hundred trillion dollars.
610
01:00:17,910 --> 01:00:21,010
That sounds like a lot. Oh, it's a lot.
611
01:00:21,590 --> 01:00:26,050
I'd try my luck, but I hear he only
likes women with large personalities.
612
01:00:28,110 --> 01:00:29,570
I've got large personalities.
613
01:00:29,790 --> 01:00:35,430
Yeah, but I heard you were already
engaged, so... No, no, not anymore.
614
01:00:36,070 --> 01:00:39,130
Well, I heard you were in love with a
really great guy.
615
01:00:39,790 --> 01:00:43,770
Well, he's nice and he's got money and
he treats me well.
616
01:00:44,010 --> 01:00:48,430
Oh, good. You're fine then. You don't
need to go chasing after rich men. Not
617
01:00:48,430 --> 01:00:50,950
even the firstborn son of the Sultan of
Brunei.
618
01:00:51,710 --> 01:00:57,090
Wait a minute now. I just said that he's
nice and he's got money, but he sure
619
01:00:57,090 --> 01:01:03,270
ain't the saltine of the son of that guy
that owns all those oil fields in the
620
01:01:03,270 --> 01:01:05,370
middle of Earth or wherever he used to
head.
621
01:01:05,570 --> 01:01:08,370
Yeah, but if it's true love...
622
01:01:09,390 --> 01:01:10,850
Honey, there's no such thing.
623
01:01:11,990 --> 01:01:13,050
Excuse me.
624
01:01:19,430 --> 01:01:20,950
Well, she went for it.
625
01:01:21,150 --> 01:01:22,190
You think she bought it?
626
01:01:22,810 --> 01:01:24,930
Honey, I've had goldfish that were
smarter.
627
01:01:26,950 --> 01:01:28,350
Hi. Hi.
628
01:01:28,970 --> 01:01:35,210
Are you really the son of that man that
owns all them fields of oil in, um,
629
01:01:35,210 --> 01:01:37,590
Brune... Brunswick?
630
01:01:37,830 --> 01:01:38,830
Yeah, I am.
631
01:01:39,290 --> 01:01:42,370
I mean, my father is the sole attendant.
632
01:01:43,630 --> 01:01:45,810
Well, I'm very glad to meet you.
633
01:01:47,170 --> 01:01:49,150
The eagle has landed.
634
01:01:50,130 --> 01:01:52,470
If boobs were brains, she'd be a genius.
635
01:01:53,230 --> 01:01:54,790
Lucky for us, she's not.
636
01:01:56,210 --> 01:01:58,130
Now, can Juan get us to phase two?
637
01:01:58,750 --> 01:02:02,010
He better, because that hotel room costs
us most of the money we have left.
638
01:02:04,550 --> 01:02:06,330
So, what do we do now?
639
01:02:06,530 --> 01:02:07,670
Do we cuddle?
640
01:02:07,970 --> 01:02:08,970
Do we talk?
641
01:02:09,850 --> 01:02:11,270
Now you leave.
642
01:02:12,370 --> 01:02:13,370
Just like that?
643
01:02:14,630 --> 01:02:17,730
Don't you get it? I'm not actually
paying you for sex.
644
01:02:21,230 --> 01:02:22,630
I'm paying you to leave.
645
01:02:27,210 --> 01:02:28,410
Oh, come on.
646
01:02:29,370 --> 01:02:30,370
What's wrong?
647
01:02:30,410 --> 01:02:35,510
I mean, you did just fine, considering
it was your first time. I don't know. I
648
01:02:35,510 --> 01:02:39,320
just didn't think it'd be like this. I
didn't think it'd be so... Cold.
649
01:02:39,980 --> 01:02:42,640
I don't mean to be cold. I'm just being
honest.
650
01:02:43,900 --> 01:02:45,720
Well, Randall didn't say it'd be like
this.
651
01:02:46,180 --> 01:02:47,180
Wait a minute.
652
01:02:47,220 --> 01:02:48,220
You know Randall?
653
01:02:48,980 --> 01:02:52,480
Yeah. He's a friend of mine, or friend
of Karen's. He set me up with the job.
654
01:02:53,760 --> 01:02:54,920
Randall set you up with this?
655
01:02:56,240 --> 01:02:57,240
Oh, no.
656
01:02:58,540 --> 01:03:01,440
He called Marjorie, and Marjorie
canceled, and she called me.
657
01:03:01,940 --> 01:03:03,040
Oh, no.
658
01:03:04,360 --> 01:03:05,360
What?
659
01:03:05,390 --> 01:03:08,670
He didn't tell me that he knew about
this, about what Marjorie does.
660
01:03:09,590 --> 01:03:10,590
Okay.
661
01:03:11,070 --> 01:03:12,090
What's the problem?
662
01:03:12,550 --> 01:03:13,710
Randall is my son.
663
01:03:15,410 --> 01:03:16,410
Okay, you know what?
664
01:03:18,270 --> 01:03:22,010
You can't, you cannot tell him about
this. You cannot tell him. This is our
665
01:03:22,010 --> 01:03:23,290
secret. Oh, of course, yeah.
666
01:03:23,610 --> 01:03:25,690
Here, just take this.
667
01:03:26,310 --> 01:03:28,050
This is our secret, okay?
668
01:03:28,350 --> 01:03:30,270
Oh, believe me, I won't tell him.
669
01:03:30,770 --> 01:03:31,910
Okay, you need to go.
670
01:03:32,590 --> 01:03:33,590
Okay.
671
01:03:53,000 --> 01:03:54,000
I cried out loud.
672
01:03:54,060 --> 01:03:56,180
Dang. I think my father has it.
673
01:04:03,020 --> 01:04:04,020
Karen!
674
01:04:14,180 --> 01:04:15,840
Was that guy wearing your mom's
curtains?
675
01:04:16,440 --> 01:04:17,600
It's a long story.
676
01:04:18,080 --> 01:04:19,500
And was that a towel on his head?
677
01:04:23,799 --> 01:04:25,040
That's my friend, Juan.
678
01:04:25,860 --> 01:04:28,360
Why does he look like Lawrence of
Arabia's gay younger brother?
679
01:04:28,680 --> 01:04:30,120
Again, it's a long story.
680
01:04:30,400 --> 01:04:31,540
What are you doing here?
681
01:04:31,880 --> 01:04:33,000
It's a long story.
682
01:04:33,680 --> 01:04:34,880
Well, that's a nice suit.
683
01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:36,560
Yeah, Randall lent it to me.
684
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:39,960
Oh, I didn't even know that you and
Randall knew each other.
685
01:04:40,200 --> 01:04:42,020
Well, turns out I know his mom.
686
01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:45,600
Is he a real sultan?
687
01:04:46,240 --> 01:04:49,740
Yeah. Have you ever been with an
American girl before?
688
01:04:49,960 --> 01:04:50,960
No. Oh.
689
01:04:52,420 --> 01:04:54,060
This is going to be your first time.
690
01:04:54,560 --> 01:04:55,920
Yeah? Okay.
691
01:05:04,060 --> 01:05:05,300
Tell me something.
692
01:05:06,100 --> 01:05:07,100
Huh?
693
01:05:07,920 --> 01:05:09,100
Yeah? You ready?
694
01:05:10,120 --> 01:05:11,078
Oh, yeah?
695
01:05:11,080 --> 01:05:12,900
Yeah. You ready for some action?
696
01:05:13,400 --> 01:05:14,520
Yeah. Yeah?
697
01:05:14,740 --> 01:05:20,200
Yeah. Why are you here? And don't tell
me it's just a long story.
698
01:05:20,440 --> 01:05:25,100
Okay. So my father is about to marry ex
-porn star Mamrie Lane, who's a gold
699
01:05:25,100 --> 01:05:28,320
digger, and she's going to take him for
every penny he's got, which will mean
700
01:05:28,320 --> 01:05:33,040
that me and my stepmother will be poor,
which is why I stupidly panicked and
701
01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:36,800
told you that I didn't love you when I
probably do. And now we're out to prove
702
01:05:36,800 --> 01:05:40,460
that Mamrie Lane is a heartless gold
digger and stop my dad from making the
703
01:05:40,460 --> 01:05:41,500
biggest mistake of his life.
704
01:05:42,080 --> 01:05:47,540
My friend Juan is pretending to be the
son of the Sultan of Brunei, and we're
705
01:05:47,540 --> 01:05:48,900
going to get pictures of them together.
706
01:05:49,420 --> 01:05:52,940
And then my father will realize how much
of a fool he's been. And then
707
01:05:52,940 --> 01:05:54,300
everything will be back to the way it
was.
708
01:05:54,600 --> 01:05:56,060
Okay, that was a long story.
709
01:06:49,460 --> 01:06:50,820
Oh, God.
710
01:06:51,260 --> 01:06:54,180
Oh, God. I mean, Frisella.
711
01:06:54,760 --> 01:06:55,760
Who? Yeah.
712
01:07:22,290 --> 01:07:25,090
Thank you.
713
01:07:39,370 --> 01:07:40,690
The camera's not working.
714
01:07:40,990 --> 01:07:42,670
Yeah, well, that's my boyfriend in
there.
715
01:07:43,770 --> 01:07:45,130
So, why are you here?
716
01:07:45,390 --> 01:07:48,430
Well, I was trying to make money because
I want to get you back.
717
01:07:49,810 --> 01:07:51,690
Oh, Zach, that's so sweet.
718
01:07:52,810 --> 01:07:56,250
Well, I didn't tell you how I was making
money.
719
01:07:56,970 --> 01:08:00,770
That doesn't even matter. After I
treated you like such a bitch, I'm
720
01:08:00,770 --> 01:08:03,010
you'd even want to be back with me.
721
01:08:03,770 --> 01:08:04,770
Okay.
722
01:09:07,050 --> 01:09:08,050
Hi.
723
01:09:12,890 --> 01:09:15,229
Gotcha. Are you a fan?
724
01:09:27,570 --> 01:09:28,570
Yeah, wow.
725
01:09:28,790 --> 01:09:31,710
It's the only word that comes to mind
when you see her naked.
726
01:09:32,670 --> 01:09:33,670
Wow.
727
01:09:36,250 --> 01:09:40,029
Well, I guess you saved me from making a
pretty terrible mistake.
728
01:09:40,490 --> 01:09:41,970
Now, what's the next wife for?
729
01:09:44,330 --> 01:09:46,170
It's been a strange few days.
730
01:09:46,470 --> 01:09:47,470
Tell me about it.
731
01:09:47,630 --> 01:09:49,850
Just don't tell Randall about it.
732
01:09:50,229 --> 01:09:54,850
I've done a lot of growing up. I mean,
watching people trade love for money,
733
01:09:54,970 --> 01:09:56,310
it's just not right.
734
01:09:57,070 --> 01:10:00,250
At the end of the day, you just got to
follow your heart.
735
01:10:01,230 --> 01:10:02,430
Where's your heart leading you?
736
01:10:03,290 --> 01:10:04,750
To bed with you.
737
01:10:08,030 --> 01:10:14,890
You know, seeing you help last night and
738
01:10:14,890 --> 01:10:18,790
really put yourself on the line, I think
you proved to me that you're not so
739
01:10:18,790 --> 01:10:19,970
selfish after all.
740
01:10:20,850 --> 01:10:23,250
Did you see those things I could have
suffocated?
741
01:10:24,270 --> 01:10:26,290
I'll make you forget all about her.
742
01:10:26,880 --> 01:10:27,880
That is.
743
01:11:21,580 --> 01:11:22,580
Thank you.
744
01:12:44,940 --> 01:12:46,860
Bye. Bye.
745
01:12:48,100 --> 01:12:49,500
Bye.
746
01:13:58,390 --> 01:13:59,510
Love is in the air.
747
01:14:00,010 --> 01:14:01,010
Yeah.
748
01:14:10,470 --> 01:14:15,570
Give it some time. See what happens.
Exactly.
749
01:14:58,220 --> 01:14:59,220
Is that season one?
750
01:14:59,740 --> 01:15:00,740
Wow.
751
01:15:01,340 --> 01:15:03,880
And I thought we were making double the
usual noise.
752
01:18:47,800 --> 01:18:50,940
What? I guess that kind of passion's for
the young, really.
753
01:18:51,260 --> 01:18:52,260
Mm -hmm.
754
01:18:52,380 --> 01:18:53,840
I mean, we're older now.
755
01:18:54,360 --> 01:18:55,360
Mm -hmm.
756
01:18:55,440 --> 01:19:00,020
Yeah. A little wiser. You know, we don't
have to give in to those kind of
757
01:19:00,020 --> 01:19:01,020
passions anymore.
758
01:19:01,200 --> 01:19:02,079
Mm -hmm.
759
01:19:02,080 --> 01:19:04,320
Right. Wisdom of age, really.
760
01:19:07,820 --> 01:19:09,970
Yeah. Talks me into it.
761
01:22:42,960 --> 01:22:43,960
Thank you.
52384
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