Original subtitles

Why? You shouldn't have.

Uh, I didn't. It's for my date with Becky.

But she's in Florida. What are you going to do, mash her through the screen?

I ordered a pizza to her house, too. Now buzz off.

Fine.

Welcome to Chez Tora's, madame.

Oh, Adam, what's the special occasion?

Just spicing up our nightly FaceTime date.

I thought I'd surprise you with... Hey, Bex.

Hey. Good calling, Laza.

Adam. That's how they deliver pizza in Florida?

No, silly.

That's Todd.

Hey, man.

I ran into the pizza guy outside.

He's here to pick me up for church group.

It's on in the yard.

But we FaceTime every night. Sorry, I must have forgotten to mention it, but

I'll make it up to you. We'll do three hours tomorrow.

Kisses.

Don't worry, man.

I'll take care of her.

Now can I have his leg?

Come on, Todd got one. Who the hell is Todd?

I think that's the guy stealing your girlfriend.

not skipping class again i told you i'm sick oh yeah what are your symptoms

fever runny nose i thought you were supposed

to be an actor i'm fine i'm not sick i just can't stand to watch miles french

zoey all over french school anymore they gross me out too but you can't let this

ruin your whole trip that's easy for you to say because you didn't find love

just have it snatched away from you by some west drive sorry just four days ago

you were like her biggest fan yeah and now she's dead to me finney

Come on. Just come. For me. It's not like they're going to make out in class.

You want symptoms?

I'm going to barf.

Tristan.

Winston.

You need to talk to Miles for me.

Original. Getting the best friend to reveal your crush.

What?

No. It's the PDA with Zoe.

And you want me to... Tell him to stop?

Yeah. Ask Miles to stop doing something and he goes twice as hard. Unless you

want to walk in here and find a mattress.

You... gotta be away.

Pretty sure public embarrassment is illegal now.

Nice try, though.

Adam, my phone won't stand up.

No problem, babe.

Best night ever.

Yeah, with my girlfriend.

That's your girlfriend?

Pretty.

I have a girlfriend, too.

Madison.

Don't ever let her go to Florida.

Who's that guy?

That's a pizza stealer named Todd.

I hope Madison never finds Todd.

Me, too, Colton. Me, too.

Okay, so the trick is getting the first two to stand on their own.

You try.

More pictures?

Are you kidding me?

Hey, Colton, does it look like he's... Colton?

Imogen? Where's Colton?

You lost a camper?

Chemo done for the day, hospital food choked down. I'm ready. Tell me all

Leo.

He's pretty good.

Pretty good?

You practically floated in here after your date last night.

For you, not from me.

Leo, can't wait to see you again. Let me make you dinner tonight, Leo.

Oh no, the cute French guy who works at a cafe wants to cook you a romantic

French dinner.

Worried about all the cream sauces?

They're fattening. No, it's not dinner I'm worried about.

It's dessert.

Oh.

You're not ready? No, I'm too ready. I really like Leo. I just don't want to

rush things, you know? Just tell him you'd rather do something else on your

date. Yeah, but I tried that already.

With Dave.

And with Drew.

And with Johnny, and that didn't really work out too well. Jeez, why don't you

just strap on a chastity belt?

You got one.

Colton? Colton, this isn't funny.

Colton! Hey, baby bro. Shouldn't you be with your campers?

I lost one.

Colton, have you seen him?

Sorry, what do you mean you lost him?

It's not a wallet. He couldn't have gotten far.

I only checked his Instagram for a sec.

You couldn't stop obsessing over stupid Becky for two stupid minutes. Campers

come first, Adam. I know. Just help me find him.

Something's gonna kill me.

then I'm going to come back from the dead, and I'm going to zombie kill you.

know it sounds awesome, Adam, but trust me, it's not going to be.

Oh, God.

You were fast, little man.

Colton, you okay? Where'd you go? I found him with another group. I went to

check that my girlfriend didn't find a Todd.

I bonked my head.

Alice, can you please take him to the nurse?

It's okay, I got it. No, you're in the penalty box.

This isn't hockey. Go to the resource center and wait there till I talk to

Simpson. If you tell Simpson, I'll get fired.

Well, if I don't tell him and Colton tells his parents that he roamed free,

get fired.

Drew, I can't lose this job. You know what, Adam? You kind of deserve to. It's

the only thing keeping me from going totally insane over Becky.

Fine.

Try and convince Simpson it was just an honest mistake.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. But if he keeps you on, no more phone, no more

hasty gram, and no more B -word. You got it? I got it. I swear.

Maya, the cap had French toast and regular toast. But since we're in

doesn't that also make it French toast? So weird, right?

Maya?

Oh, what are you doing?

Oh, you're just in time for the show.

You're going to play a bucket?

Okay, so many miles of second face up front.

I'm gonna douse that flame.

You little devil woman.

Attention, we won't have to watch them kiss.

This is the camp, Samurai.

You join a gang yet? Get a tattoo?

Learn how to play the harmonica?

What? No, I'm waiting to see if Stinson gives me the chair.

Ooh, that's the guy making news on Becky?

You know about Todd?

Yeah, Colton's very worried about your relationship.

You really think Becky's cheating?

Why don't you just talk to her? I went local when I couldn't tell Fiona how I

felt about her leaving.

Then when you told her, she broke up with you.

Right, that's true.

I should just delete all these stupid photos. You know her password?

Yeah, it's the same for everything.

Including face ring. Okay, you're not going to log in?

Only to see what Becky and Todd are saying to each other. That was just dumb

stuff. Good.

Then I can know and stop worrying.

This is the worst idea ever.

Whoa.

That's not all just dumb stuff, is it?

187 chats!

But none of them seem romantic.

Becky tells Todd everything.

Correction. Not everything. The name Adam comes up zero times. Maybe she uses

nickname for you. Search.

My hunky BF, or hot pants.

Never thought I'd call Becky on Facebook. Okay, if Miss Florida doesn't

appreciate the cute, funny, clever guy you are, then she clearly doesn't

you.

Whoa, what happened to your girlfriend?

Uh, I think she got a tod.

Well, at least you have a job.

You worked it out with Simpson?

Yep, but you're on probation, so no more screw -ups. Better go plan tomorrow's

activity. See you later, buddy.

Good news, kid.

You're sprung.

Let's pop the two scowls. Are you kidding?

I can't just let this guy ruin my life. So what are you going to do?

I'm going to send this Todd a message.

Doors open.

Hey, you.

Right,

um, I brought my friends.

Double date, is that okay?

Doesn't look like there's enough food.

I think I can stretch it.

Ali, can you give me a hand?

Is this a North American thing, bringing friends on a date?

Um, they're having problems.

Like, serious relationship problems.

Really? Yeah, they're, like, pulling away from each other physically, so I

thought they could benefit from hanging out with a couple as great as that.

You think we're good?

Yes. We can lead by example.

So, can they stay?

Of course.

Oui,

madame.

Hey, it's like we're in Les Mis.

Nice try.

But perny fingers?

Not a good look.

Hey, Tris, I know this is all my fault, okay? But don't abandon me.

I'm just gonna find rubber gloves.

Chill.

What kind of crazy person dumps a bucket of water on a teacher?

You've done worse.

I'm just glad your aim wasn't better. I have no idea what you're talking about.

Oh, no?

Because it seems like that bucket had my name on it. Not you.

You and your girlfriend.

I wouldn't call Zoe my girlfriend.

Oh, so you just make out with whoever?

Whoever asks nicely.

So I have to go away.

You're right.

I wouldn't kiss you with my dog's lip.

So you're just hell -bent on stopping me from kissing someone else? It was for

Tristan.

You kicked him, Miles.

You got his hopes up.

And now you're making him watch you and Zoe grope each other in every nook and

cranny of the entire school. You know, he can't even stand to come to class

anymore.

Look what you did.

Wait, wait.

You sure you don't want to kiss me?

So you're going to impersonate Becky and tell Todd to go scram.

It's the only way I can get rid of him without letting her know I broke into

account. Does anyone else think this is sketchy? As long as he does it after

camp hours, I don't care.

That seems smart. As long as it sounds like Becky and deleted from her outbox

right after.

Right.

Okay.

Dear Todd, there's something I need to tell you. No, that's too smart.

Becky's very bubbly.

It's going to be like, sorry, Tony, I should have told you about my snitch

buddy, Adam.

Glad you think this is funny.

I have a boyfriend named Adam, but I don't mention him much because I know

like me.

Because you would count it as 18 -inch biceps.

Next.

Um, but I'm totally in love with him.

But I'm totally in love with him.

You need... To stay away from me, please respect my choice.

What do you think?

Love it.

It's not going to work.

Why not?

Sounds like her. And it's going to sound like her when she tells Todd she didn't

send it.

But I'm deleting it from her outbox. How will she know? She'll know when he asks

her about it.

Also, please never speak to me again.

P .S. Wear a shirt.

Sign her a dirt bag.

Let's celebrate at our house. Pizza's on me.

Sweet.

Knock,

knock.

Special delivery.

One best friend who's really, really sorry.

Tris?

Please talk to me.

I really didn't mean to tell Miles.

Then why did you?

Well, he kept saying I liked him.

Do you?

Of course not.

But you still had to sell me out to prove your point. No, that's not what

happened. It is.

This morning, I could pretend I wasn't feeling well.

Now Miles knows I'm just a lovesick puppy.

It's mortifying. I can fix it.

No, thank you.

We're done.

Wait.

What does that mean?

I'm not going to sign for your best friend package.

Return to sender.

This sausage is amazing.

You like it? I have plenty more if you want. Oh, no, it's okay.

So, how long have you two been together?

Um, a couple of months. 72 days.

Counting the days. This one is very romantic.

10 dinners, 5 walks to no predetermined destination, 12 movies, 19 if you

include the stay -at -home ones. I don't. Jenna does.

So, Leo, we've only been doing the touristy parts of Paris.

Is there anywhere special that we're missing?

Well, if you really want to be alone, I recommend Le Parc des Buttes Chauvins.

It has many secluded spots.

Perfect if you wanted to get intimate with each other.

Like sex?

In a park?

If you like.

No, no, I don't want to have sex.

Connor.

What?

I hate even thinking about sex. The touching, the textures, the smell.

It just makes me queasy.

Well, you can't even think about it? Not even with me?

Connor. What?

Isn't that why we're here? So you don't have to have sex with Leo?

I feel not attracted to you.

Are you kidding? I'm crazy attracted to you. You're cute.

You love science.

And when I'm with you, I feel so special.

But you got your friends over, so we wouldn't make out.

It's not you. It's me.

Ah, I know that one from American movies.

Are we breaking up? No.

I'm just scared that if I move too fast, I'll ruin everything.

Fast, slow, standing still.

As long as I'm with you, nothing can ruin this.

Are you sure?

It means I promise.

Do you know what that means?

No, but it sounds sexy.

It's a famous French quote. It means...

Love is not looking at each other, but looking in the same direction.

Yeah, but it's the only way to kiss you.

With Todd gone, I am so ready to focus on teaching those kids everything I know

about camping.

How do you pee your pants when you see a garter snake?

That was once, and I was like six.

Damn, it's not me.

50 texts to Ali, not one back.

Guys, it's me, Becky.

Hey, Adam. My plans fell through, so call me when you can.

Guys, I think it worked.

Yay.

Hey, Bex. Miss you.

Aw, miss you too.

Super weird day, though. FaceRange said someone accessed my account from

Toronto.

Face range is so buggy, though, so I'm sure it's nothing.

Oh, except that Todd got a message from my account that I didn't send.

Wow, that's crazy.

You should email tech support.

I know it was you, Adam.

What?

Okay, I had to. How could you?

You're out parading in a bikini with that shirtless idiot. So he's just a

friend. Oh, for now.

What is that supposed to mean?

He's trying to get with you. But I'm...

trying to be gotten with if you were worried about todd then you should have

talked about it with me like i did with you about imogen i know it's just what

you'd rather break into my account go behind my back and lie to me please

be mad i would never cheat adam it's a sin and i can't believe you think i

let's just forget about it i'm an idiot okay let's just laugh it off

Becky, please.

I love you.

There's no love without trust, Anna.

If you won't talk to me, then you obviously don't trust me.

No. Becky, wait.

I'm sorry.