Original subtitles

Your sentiments give evidence that thoughts have all been heard.

But come on, boy, get to it, cause action speaks louder than

words.

What'd you guys think?

Uh, watch out, Taylor Swift.

Tori?

I was flat, wasn't I?

No, you weren't flat.

It'd sound better if I had someone backing me up on the guitar or maybe a

to remind me. No, the song was fine.

Then why the sour face?

There's no sour face. It's just... I thought you were going to play the cello

for the pageant. Tell us. Well, I was.

But then I thought singing a song I wrote might impress the judges.

Increase the chances of winning. You want to win the pageant? It'd be kind of

cool, don't you think?

Of course I think. But I live and breathe pageants, and you think they're

stupid. I know, I did at first.

But... When I made it to the finals, I felt, I don't know, special.

I think it's really, really, really brave that you're competing in this

But I don't think you should get your hopes up. I know.

Winning is a long shot. It's a no shot.

I've been competing in pageants since I was five years old, and I've only been

runner -up twice.

You're not going to win this pageant. I have as much chance as anyone, don't I?

I made it to the finals. Because you fell on stage and the judges probably

bad for you. I have talent and I can ace those interview questions. They're so

easy and they're so... You don't think I'm pretty enough.

But you're just not the right pretty.

Not that you aren't adorable because you are. You're totally and completely

adorable.

Are you okay?

How could I not be?

I'm totally and completely adorable.

Whatever it takes, I know I can make it through.

And if I hold out, I know I can make it through.

Breathe it in, breathe it out.

Whatever it takes, I know I can make it. I can make it.

I can make it through.

Hey, I thought this might look cute with your pageant dress.

Don't mock me. I've had enough.

I'm not mocking you. You laughed at me.

Okay, but that was before Mom told me you made top ten, and you know how I

a fierce competition.

Plus, I get it. You just want to feel like the prettiest girl. Does that make

shallow?

No. It makes you human.

Well, Tori said I'm not pretty enough to win.

Probably because she's afraid that you're going to beat her.

Do you really think I could win it?

With me in your corner, yeah.

So what's your talent? Cello?

I was singing a song I wrote, but I need someone to accompany me, so I was

thinking fig.

Well, won't that make Tori jealous?

Maybe. But all's fair in love and beauty pageants, right?

Right.

Thanks

for

coming.

What's with the door locking?

Wait, is this sexy time?

Uh, no.

I need to talk.

If it's about those insurance forms again, honestly... Look, I don't care

them.

Well, this is an intervention.

What? I know you're on drugs. Again, what?

Is it heroin?

Crack?

Look, no more lying, okay? I found needles in your bag. You went in my bag?

I'm not going to stand by and let you throw your life away.

This is, um, the rehab facility that Katie went to.

Sorry, ma 'am. Not interested.

Why won't you accept my help?

Because, uh...

I love drugs. You don't mean that. No, I totally do. Drugs are the bomb.

Hey, bring it in.

Anybody wondering where the other guys are?

They're cut.

So congratulations to my senior boys volleyball team.

Now straight to serve return. We don't have a lot of time. We have our first

game against Elmdale next week.

Pay attention. Here we go.

What's so funny? Nothing. I just, I can't believe I made the team.

You played well. You deserve it.

You okay?

No.

Okay, we better get some ice on that and call home, okay?

Um, you know what? I'm fine.

Sure.

Yeah, I'm good. I'm good.

Connor, get some ice.

Could it be Miss Maya Matlin, Miss Millennial Canada finalist?

Not my autographed book at all.

You're hilarious.

I'm here all day.

So you're going to the pageant finals, right?

Youth Mentory, right?

Yeah, I thought so.

So, since you're already going to be there, I was wondering if you'd want to

participate. I look terrible in any medium.

Not as a contestant, doofus.

As an accompanist.

I need someone to play the guitar.

I'm going to sing a song I wrote.

Most of them not sexy enough to pull it off, but... You are.

Really? You think?

Yeah.

I mean, sure.

But look, if you want me to play with you, then we better rehearse.

Right. Well, it's a date.

Yay!

Has Mo asked you for money?

This week?

I'm not joking around.

No, Mo has not asked me for money.

Well, if he does, don't give it to him.

He has a drug addiction.

I found needles in his backpack.

Who?

Is he on crack?

I don't know, whatever you use needles for.

Oh, this is bad. I mean, this is really, really bad, Marisol.

What should I do? Should I tell Simpson?

Do I call his parents? I'm freaking out.

Yeah.

Yeah,

no, Moe's not on drugs.

I found his needles.

Okay, Moe is on a drug.

Insulin for his diabetes.

Moe has diabetes?

Yeah.

Hey, that's so much worse.

Diabetes is worse than crack? Yeah.

Because it means my boyfriend doesn't trust me.

Oh. Okay.

Are you sure you don't want to practice your song one more time? You know,

for good luck?

Well, the pageant starts in an hour. I need to get ready.

Yeah, I should probably run home, too. These clothes aren't really stage

-worthy. Hey, the attention's supposed to be on me, not you.

Boyfriend, 12 o 'clock.

Ex -boyfriend.

What? You guys broke up? Why didn't you tell me? I don't know. I didn't feel

like broadcasting it to the world.

Is it going to be awkward?

No, I'll be fine. Go.

Look, I know I messed up. It's fine. No, it's not.

Just give me another chance.

You still like me, don't you? Liking you was never the problem.

Okay, then what is it? You don't like me.

Maya, that's crazy.

Is it?

Zig told Tori she's pretty like a million times a day. You've never told

once. I didn't know I had to.

You don't have to. Then I'm sorry that I'm not smooth like Zig.

But I absolutely think you're pretty.

Why do you ever want to kiss me?

I'll try harder.

You shouldn't have to try.

My sister's waiting for me.

Why are we hiding?

I don't want Becky to see me like this. Ah.

Whoa. Whose fist did you run into?

No fist.

A volleyball.

It's not broken.

I don't know. I busted Dalton's nose a few weeks ago and it looks a lot like

that. What should I do?

Find a doctor.

Can I just say you punched me?

No.

Uh, hello.

Zig's playing guitar for your talent tonight?

Oh, you heard.

Yeah, well, Tristan's helping you with your magic act. What's the diff? The

is that you're using my boyfriend.

Would have been nice if you asked permission.

Dick and I play together all the time. We don't need your permission.

You're acting weird.

I wanted you to do this pageant to boost your confidence. Yeah, and then

repeatedly told me that I'm not as good as you. I never did that.

Think back, Tori. You're not the right kind of pretty.

They only let you into the finals because you fell in your butt. Need I go

You've made it very clear that you have no reason to be jealous of me.

So don't be.

May the best girl win.

Prepare to be amazed as I levitate this man.

My stomach is doing

flip -flops. Just get through the song, and then all you have to worry about is

the interview portion.

Okay?

Good luck.

Tori looks great out there.

Yeah, you will too.

Let's hear it one more time for the amazing Tori Santamaria.

All right, time for our next contestant, Miss Maya Matlin. Are we really going

to do this? Yes.

And you're going to kill it.

Well, here goes nothing

Good day?

Got a kiss for your old mom? I missed you today.

Actually, I got a cold.

Oh, no.

Poor thing. Let me check your glands.

Since when do you read flair?

Coach Armstrong called to see how you were doing. So please think hard before

you add to this mess.

I'm sorry.

For forging my signature to join the volleyball team?

I was going to ask, but you were crying.

You're always worrying about Drew. I didn't want you to worry about me, too.

We put you through a lot.

I just didn't want to put you through more.

Hey, can I borrow a 50? I'm all out of crack.

I don't think we should go on vacation together.

Mayor, I'm not a drug addict. I know.

You're a diabetic.

Jake told me.

Then why all the crazy drama?

Because I can understand you hiding a drug problem from me.

But diabetes?

That's a serious health condition.

Don't you trust me at all?

Of course I trust you.

I just didn't think it was that important.

What if you had passed out?

Or gone into a diabetic coma. You could have called 911.

And what if they hadn't come fast enough?

You could have died.

Look, I don't like telling people, okay?

Except for your buddy, Jake.

Thought you were the one person who took me seriously.

You were amazing.

We were amazing.

Oh, thank you for doing music.

It means so much.

Oh, my God.

What did we just do?

I'm sorry.

Look, I know it's crazy, but... But, Tori, your girlfriend, my best friend.

I know, but... But, Tori... You ready to change into your interview

gown?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah. Thank you for helping me with the song.

Yeah. Thanks.

Looks pretty good, huh?

Yeah, almost as cool as an eye patch.

I might just keep it on after the nose is done healing.

I don't know about that. Here, I made you some Parmesan popcorn.

I don't want to push it, but... Mom, I really like volleyball.

You want to keep playing?

Yeah.

Well, I guess I'll be there to cheer you on.

Hey, should I bring my cowbell?

No, I got to go tell Dallas. Adam, wait.

I don't love that you forged my signature, but it was very sweet of you

of me and my feelings.

I'm so proud of the man you're becoming.

Which is why it's time to start thinking about getting medication

for you.

Medication like?

Tea? Testosterone? Not saying we're doing it right away, but we should, you

know, find a doctor and start a conversation.

A conversation.

I love the conversation. Thanks, Mom.

Oh. Oh.

Yeah, careful, son.

Easy.

Easy, Maya.

You're the one who's easy.

I am not. Zig kissed me.

Please, David, take two to kiss Tango.

Katie, ouch!

Tori is your best friend. Yeah, well, she's been horrible to me. She said I

no competition to her at all. Well, guess what?

I am.

You two are good friends, and after two days in a pageant, you just turn on her?

She started it.

Maya, is this really who you want to be?

A boyfriend stealer?

What? Should I start calling you Maya D'Souza? Zig makes me feel good about

myself. Why? Because you put on some lipstick and high heels?

Boys are shallow.

I don't know Zig like I do. Maybe not.

But he's the kind of guy that kisses girls that aren't his girlfriend.

And that's not good enough for you.

Please don't let some guy come between you and your best friend.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, please meet your top six.

Tonight's final task, the interview portion.

Tori Santamaria, you're up first.

Please tell us, what is your greatest flaw?

Through my journey in the pageant world, I've learned that I can be a

perfectionist.

And... Can I start again?

You've got like 15 seconds.

My greatest flaw is that I can be careless with my words.

I don't know how it happens. I just say things. I guess I don't have much of a

filter.

But I have beautiful friends who forgive me for this flaw.

And from one of my friends, my best friend,

I've learned to be a better person, to be less superficial, and

more careful about what I say.

The most beautiful person I've ever met.

Well, that was original.

Next up, Maya Matlin.

Tell us, what is your greatest flaw?

I'm a huge bitch.

Maya?

Maya, why are you crying?

You were right.

Patients are stupid.

I'm so sorry.

Please.

Will you forgive me?

I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you about my diabetes.

Because you didn't think I could handle it or something?

Of course you could.

You're practically perfect.

I just... I didn't want you to look at me like I was sick or something.

Pretty silly, huh?

Not as silly as me thinking you were a heroin addict.

That was kind of outrageous.

It's only because I love you. I love you too.

Does this mean I can come on the spring break trip with you?

One condition.

Medical or bracelet?

Two. One for every outfit.

So I'll be safe and stylish.

People need to know how to help you.

Especially me.

Sorry I overreacted, but the thought of something bad happening to you makes me

ill.

Mexico, here we come.

Arriba, arriba!

Miss Congeniality once again.

You earned it. Your speech was something special.

It just spoke from the heart. I'm sorry I was such a jerk.

Me too.

I can't believe that baton -twirling twig won talent.

Your song was so much better, and you looked so pretty.

She always looks pretty.

Aw, you and Kim are so cute. I'm so glad things worked out. Aren't you, Ziggy?

Non -pageant life, it's so boring.

Maya, can I ask you a fan question for a sec?

What?

Why are you back with Cam?

Because I like him.

But we kissed.

I was just, I was confused and I was caught up in the stupid pageant. You're

lying. No, I'm not. Forget it, Zig. It never happened.

I know you felt something. We both did.

No. No, I didn't.

There she is.

Yep, here I am.