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I called the real estate agent.
She'll be here at four for the appraisal.
We should probably pay before we put the house on the market. And hire one of
those stagers.
You're selling our house?
Did I miss the memo?
We were going to tell you tonight. We just wanted to iron out some details
first.
But I love this house.
It's like part of our family.
It's time to move on.
So what are these details?
Well, we thought you'd spend weekends with me at my condo and weekdays with
your mom.
We'll find a place nearby the school.
We can pick it out together.
Great.
We've got it all figured out.
Should I start packing up my room?
Well, that might not be a bad idea.
Your dad brought a van to move some stuff over to his place. Please stop.
This is really happening, isn't it? Right, Sal?
You're throwing this out.
There's so much stuff in this house.
You taught me to tell time on this.
We can't take everything clear, Carol.
Sometimes change is good.
You don't have to try to be my friend You
don't have to tell me that you're better off alone
Whatever it takes, I know I can make it
through If I hold out, I know I can make it through
The best that I can be.
Whatever it takes.
I know I can make it. I can make it. I can make it through.
Whatever it takes.
I know I can make it.
Yeah.
Hey. Hey, Claire.
Didn't see you at church this weekend.
Family stuff.
Yeah, I heard about that. We said a big prayer for you.
That's very nice. Thank you.
It must be hard watching your family crumble around you.
Anytime you want to talk.
Okay.
Gotta love Jesus, club.
Six months ago, I would have said the same thing.
And now?
The world is a little less black and white.
My mom and dad are selling the house and separating.
Why do I have to suffer because they fell out of love?
Maybe you won't have to.
There was this kid I knew growing up.
His parents got divorced, moved to separate apartments, but he stayed in
house.
His parents went back and forth.
So he had one bedroom, one set of stuff.
Think your parents would go for it? They are feeling pretty guilty for putting
me through this.
I think I can always count on you.
That's me. You're a rock.
I brought something you might like.
Vintage.
Cool.
Maybe Jesus Club can take on your locker as a humanitarian disaster.
Okay. Bye.
How long is mom making us run a food drive?
Until we rehabilitate the school's image within the community.
So, like, 12 years.
We better find some more volunteers.
Where are we going to find volunteers?
Girls' gym class is about to start. You could camp at the locker room.
Very funny.
Whoa.
Can we see Mrs. Holland?
Sorry, nope.
But since you're here, you should sign up to work for the food drive.
I don't drive.
You do know you need 40 hours of community service in order to graduate,
Yeah, why not get them here now?
Don't even have to leave campus.
Or wear a hairnet. Or change some old dude's diaper.
Oh my god, I can't wear a hairnet.
What was the other thing?
Nursing home duty.
It's legendary.
Fine.
I can be charitable.
You know.
Hey, Dave.
I guess if you have to have cops at the school, at least one of them gives you
lunch money.
Yeah, kids come to school to get away from their parents. Just because he's
stationed here doesn't mean I've got to talk to him. So you have no parents.
Like a changeling.
Cool. You do realize what people would think if they found out my dad was a
right? Big secret.
Hey, where are you going?
Play ball at West.
Can I play?
Dave? One more and it's three on three.
How are you, little man?
Great tent?
I'm going to let a few bump up a little.
We're going to do this?
So you guys can really get a good picture of what's going on.
All right, Sprint.
Nice thermometer.
You know, it's ironic that you're making something that measures heat.
It's a drawing. It measures cans.
And an excellent one at that.
Wow, that's a lot of flirts.
Ouch.
She's just plain hot to get.
Or she's not interested in you. Give her time.
I'll make her interested.
I have a proposal.
Uh -oh.
That's what Darcy said when she wanted to go to Africa.
Don't worry, I don't want to go anywhere.
Ew. I want to stay here, in this house.
And which one of us would stay with you?
Both. Claire, no, not like that.
You two would be the ones to go back and forth.
One week on, one week off. Well, I don't know.
Other families do this.
I just don't think it would work, Claire. This place has too many
So you won't even consider it? Claire, your mother and I, we need a fresh
So what I need doesn't matter? Honey.
We're just trying to do what's best for our family. What family?
Darcy is gone.
You two are separating.
The house is the only family I have left.
Claire, where are you going?
Well, someone actually cares about my opinion.
You cried so hard we nearly had to leave you, little brat.
Yeah, the whole six -month -old love Metallica concert. Yeah, but when the
started, your tantrum started to look like headbanging. All the metalheads
around you started entertaining you. It was your first mosh pit, baby.
Hey.
I'm Claire, by the way.
This is Claire.
Welcome.
They call me the bullfrog.
This is DC. Oh, we heard all about you. Please.
Okay. I hope you don't mind me interrupting your family dinner.
No. We were just telling a story about how Eli wrecked Lollapalooza.
So, what brings you to the steakhouse?
Well, I just, I couldn't handle being around my parents.
Hey, it's none of our business, but if you need a place to crash.
Our house is your house anytime.
Wow, thank you.
It's nice to know there's a guest room with my name on it. Yeah, no guest room.
Excuse me?
Dad. We've been trying to get a girl into Eli's room for a while now.
Dad. He even has a double bed in there.
Mom, could you give me and Claire a moment alone?
Young love.
Your ride, didn't you?
Prompt taxi might want to change their name.
Thought you'd have a princess carriage waiting.
You know, with five horses and a charming prince to sweep you off your
Prince? Yeah, I tried that.
New York City royalty, anyway.
Charming on the outside, vile on the inside.
Right.
Princes are so overrated.
So many guys are just pretending to be something they're not.
Right.
You seem honest.
I mean, I can talk to you like a normal person.
Really?
I try.
Thank you.
Historically, I have terrible instincts when it comes to guys.
See your face everywhere.
Doesn't help that you stop and stare in contact.
Makes me shiver. I did once love and I've become... Sorry about that. Do you
a bullfrog?
Well, they sure are interesting.
Were your parents serious about me staying in your room?
Well, um, they just assumed since we've been dating for a while... That we have
sex? Why would they think that?
It's just that, um, well...
Julia. Your old girlfriend?
Yeah, she had a lot of problems with her stepmom, so she stayed with her.
Like, with you, with you.
I didn't even know you existed yet.
You know I'm not having sex until I get married. I got the memo.
Does it bother you?
It's not my favorite thing, but that's what it's got to be.
We're really different, aren't we? Opposites attract.
And get married and have kids and get divorced. Claire, we're not your
I'll call you later.
Finally, a word to those of you who insist on... How exactly is that suit
code? Collar, no jeans. Oh, I did a little research into Fiona last night.
She spent half as much time doing homework. She's lived all over the
did some classy prep school big shot in New York.
Lucky big shot.
She likes classy guys.
So that's the game. Pretending you're all Mr.
Classy. I've got the look, the moves. All I need to do is act the part.
Good luck with that.
What do you know about girls anyhow?
Yeah, well...
I know plenty, too.
So, you didn't really miss anything at lunch. Just mystery meat. There's a
they've taken away all the popping candy, though. And we should all cut
our intake of simple carbohydrates.
Wes, would you stop talking like a nerd? You're gonna get beat up.
That's not allowed.
And with your dad patrolling the halls, I've got nothing to worry about. Would
you shut up about that?
Did the basketball guys find out? No, they won't.
Okay. So when do I get to meet them? I love meeting new friends. Yeah, I know,
but you know what? They're not your style.
I have a style? What is it? Look, they're just into different stuff, and I
think you'd have much fun.
Yeah, I get it. You don't think I'm cool enough to hang out with your new
friends. You know what, Wes?
I know you're not.
Never mind. I don't need this.
Hey, beautiful.
Enjoying your lunch?
Do that before you sit. What if my imaginary friend was sitting in that
Oh, I'm sorry. Is your lap taken?
She's not that kind of girl.
So, what are you reading?
Scarves. Tie one on without looking like your nana.
Tell me what it says.
It says you don't really care how to execute a French twist.
If you're interested, I'm interested.
True, I'm not interested.
So you can stop trying.
Please.
Hey, wait, wait. Are you forgetting something?
Your imaginary friend.
Well, if you want to ask her on a date, be my guest.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Amen. Amen.
Okay,
so who wants to wrap first?
Claire, what's on your mind?
My parents.
I used to count on them for everything.
They taught me right from wrong.
Told me divorce was bad.
Sex was before marriage was a sin.
But...
Now they're getting divorced.
They say they're too different.
And I asked, were they always different or did something change?
And they said that they were always different, but hoped that
they would grow together.
Jesus is always there for you.
If Jesus loves me so much, why does he want me to go through this?
It's all part of his plan. His plan sucks.
Excuse me, who are you? Just the guy trying to have a rational discussion.
He's just trying to help me figure things out.
Have a nice lunch.
Claire, wait.
I bet you loved that.
Think there is a crisis of faith.
I'm losing everything I love.
Not me.
I'm not going anywhere.
It can't have been that bad.
I have a new term for when a girl disses you.
Rudolph.
Today, you're embarrassed.
Tomorrow, everybody will be telling jokes about Virgil Gill's bad haircut.
I needed this, Adam.
After Ali, after the boiler room, my stock is getting hammered.
Maybe you just need to aim lower.
You know, work your way up to Fiona. You just need help.
You?
You've helped me with my deal.
I probably kind of owe you.
Hi, boy.
I'm Officer Turner.
What, they got a cop watching us now?
I'm just here to make you feel safe. Now it's time to get to class, okay?
It's time to get to class, okay?
Let's put the man crews in our hallways, huh?
They're just waiting to bust someone.
For real. You guys ready?
Hey, I'll bust me.
I'm Dave's friend.
Wesley?
Why would your parents do that to you?
I know.
Lame, right?
I was just telling Dave's dad he's so cool for naming him Dave. What,
We were talking and he showed me his badge.
It's so great he's patrolling here now.
What, your dad?
You guys didn't know?
Dave's dad's Officer Turner.
Cool, huh?
So you're what, like a narc?
No, no, not at all, no. Yeah.
Wesley, you're crazy.
Oh good, you're home.
Yeah.
Home. I need you to sort through this.
Why? What's the point?
Oh, come on, Claire. We need to decide what to hold on to.
Why don't we go through it together?
Oh, wow.
This one's definitely a keeper.
Yeah, I'll put it on my new trophy shelf.
Oh, we'll find a nice place for these things, I promise.
Oh, like this one.
The week...
Dad took me and Darth skiing in Maine.
It was so fun. You should have been there.
I don't ski.
Would have been silly.
You could have taken lessons.
That's what your dad always used to say.
He did everything he could to get me on the hill.
You could still take lessons.
Even if I did, we'd be going down different hills.
I wish I hadn't been so afraid to take a risk.
Well, too late for regrets.
I have to go, Mom, right now.
Claire?
Claire?
Hey, what are you doing here?
I want to spend the night with you.
Princess Fiona.
Wait. There's already a Princess Fiona and I'm not green.
Quick.
It's true.
My brother's a good guy. You just make him nervous.
Then why would he want to be around someone who makes him nervous?
Because he thinks you're great.
We both do.
That's why I'm helping him.
Well, he has good taste.
And if he's your brother, then maybe he's not so bad.
Give him another chance.
He deserves it.
I'm not looking for anything serious or anything physical.
Really?
Nothing sexual?
Not anytime soon. So you can let your brother know that.
Cool. Thanks.
Only because you asked.
Let's go.
And I will be your home.
Don't throw your bike in the hurt.
Why? I'll drive you home.
I don't want to go home. I want to be with you.
You don't have to do this.
I want to.
Don't you?
You have belief.
There's nothing who you are. I don't know who I am.
I don't know anything.
But I know that I want to be with you.
What is this?
Nothing. I'll drive you home.
No, no. You know what?
I get it, Eli. Don't bother.
isn't strong
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