Original subtitles

Hey little man, walk Jay through.

Hmm, you took the long way to class.

So I can spend more time with you.

Why is that so long?

Ah, so short.

You know, if you keep this up, people are going to start to think we're a

couple. People can think whatever they want.

So if we're not a couple, what are we?

We're different.

And so when I introduce you to people, I say, hey, this is Drew. He's my... I

get it. I get it. You want a label.

What's so wrong about that?

Labels create problems.

Look, you've had boyfriends before, right?

Obviously. And I've had girlfriends, but those exes, where are they now?

History. Right.

That label didn't make the relationship any stronger.

But us?

We're different.

Right. You can't break up with someone if you are never going out.

So what are we, friends with benefits?

If you need to label it.

But right now we're friends who are going to be late for history class.

Whatever it takes, I know I can make it through.

If I hold out, I know I can make it through.

Wakey, wakey.

Hey, is it time for class already?

Looks like you need a few more minutes beauty sleep.

Couldn't make it to your locker?

Forgot my combination.

I'm losing it.

That bad, huh?

Yeah. Well,

would it help if I told you my brother asks about you every time he calls me?

Do you want me to question breaking up with him more?

Wait, break up or on a break?

Either way, it's the same. I have to adjust my entire outlook on life.

Well, let's do it over lunch at Baba's. I feel like a falafel.

I'm skipping lunch today.

You can't sleep. You can't eat.

Yeah, and check out my new breakup set.

Here.

Try. Like you know.

I don't need antidepressants.

It's for your face.

The heat will zap it away.

Look, you and Declan will be back together in no time.

I mean, you both do want Yale and stuff, so it'll work out.

Yeah, I'm just not sure I want it to.

Whatever. Come on.

Friends of benefit?

If you have to label it, Jenna.

If it looks like a boyfriend and acts like a boyfriend, it's a boyfriend.

What? We make out? You walked me to class?

Says I'm cute.

Does he call you every night to say goodnight?

No. You leave secret notes in your locker telling you how much you mean to

No. Does he make you feel like the most special person in the world?

I get it.

So, how do I get him to make it official?

Ask him on a date.

A real one.

Maybe we can all double Friday night. It'll be less pressure.

Baby steps.

Cool.

Really? No?

Sorry.

And can you believe this? The band slams Friday, and we've only got the three

tenors signed up. Hey, looks like me and the boys are headliners.

Okay, you're an auto -tuned novelty act.

Can you fill a two -hour set?

Well, we have the one song.

Sam, Friday's no -go.

What? Why?

Geriatric yoga. Jim's booked.

Sir, what am I going to... Sorry.

Mr. Clare?

What is wrong with this school? You know, this place used to be about the

What happened?

The band slams off.

Go tell your boys.

Run along. Go.

Hey, Misery, you want some company?

Quite a pair.

I'm a senior. I'm the president.

This is supposed to be the year of the dab.

This is ridiculous.

We should be having fun.

My fun has to involve school or student council.

What about a dance?

A dance?

Yeah, like a regular old school dance.

Okay, cool. As long as I get to DJ.

Of course.

We have plans to make. Starting with finding a venue.

Above the dot.

Nice. I'll have to pee.

Venue check.

And every good dance needs a theme, so... How about, uh...

No, it's good old -fashioned hoedown.

Seriously? Yeah.

Combined with my pandemic track selection.

Pandemic? Yeah, it's going to be a thing.

Okay.

Attention, my fellow compadres in learning. Student Council is very

inform you that the band plan has become the hoedown, the rowdown.

Come solo, in group, or bring that special guy or gal to kick up your heels

bust a move at above the dot.

Tickets are available in the Student Council office.

No bouncing.

Girls.

Connor. Connor.

No drool on my keyboards.

I'll give you guys a minute to log on to your accounts and find your quiz

results.

Connor.

Look up, bro.

I wish I didn't hate coffee.

Up all night again?

Yeah. Man, haven't you conquered that village or whatever yet?

It's a realm, not a village. I can conquer a village in like an hour.

I love RPGs as much as the next guy, but you've gone too deep, man. Come up for

air. Yeah.

You don't get it.

Probably in real life does.

True life?

You should try sometime.

Dave.

Anyone have any questions about the result?

There may be a test.

A cajon.

I don't know. Come on, Holly J.

Not all of us went to the Lisee Francaise children translation.

Nauseating, disgusting, gross.

What's gross?

Holly J.'s bit.

Fiona!

Nah, it's cute.

It's humanizing.

Um, so I was thinking about the dance. And, uh, balloon?

Too corny?

It's a harvest hoedown. I don't think anything can be too corny.

Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

I don't know how I would survive without you.

Also, Icaro, Sav's crush on you.

Sav? All the signs are there. Dilated pupils, goofy grin, undue praise.

Take it from someone who knows.

Please. Sav just needs someone to be nice to him right now.

Sounds like someone else I know.

And you and Sav have been spending a lot of time on student council together.

Well, we have a job to do, Fiona.

Strictly professional.

Whatever. Boys can smell vulnerability.

Someday, Miss Coyne, you'll learn that boys can just be friends. As long as

they're gay.

What's the French word for pessimism?

Just don't be surprised when staff declares his love for you.

It's never going to happen because we're just friends.

There are two kinds of students.

Keeners. Those who take enough time and do the work properly.

And those that start the essay the night before and think I won't notice.

Did you hear about the dance?

Friday, right?

Right. We should go together.

With Jenna and Casey.

Vandari.

Got any hot gossip?

As I was saying, your essays on Victorian -era England are due on

I want you to illustrate your knowledge of what?

Drew.

Mr. Torres has no idea. Sarah.

What?

Okay, I'll tell you what.

You have 2 ,000 words to illustrate your knowledge.

Anyways, don't you think it'd be fun?

Kind of like a date.

A date?

I'd love to, Allie, but I'm busy.

Football? No, homework.

My mom's on the back of all my grades. I've got to buckle down.

Homework? On a Friday night?

What, do you like sailing?

No, do you want me to?

Get off my back. Guys!

Zip it.

Essays will be due first.

Nightship Fortress is... The tour.

Mission accomplished.

What a rush. It feels like we can do anything when we're together.

Up level 16, Fortess.

We'll rule as Emperor and Empress.

Emperor and Empress.

I like that.

Only in the realm of doom, huh?

What do you mean?

The truth is, it couldn't be further from the reality of my life.

I bet your friends all think you're the coolest.

My friends? I only have, like, two, and they don't even understand me.

Not like you do.

Then we're lucky we found each other.

Connor, you ready?

Simpson shuttle taking off in five, four, three.

That's pretty cool.

It's morning already.

Let's do it again soon?

Yeah, for sure. I can't wait.

Bye. Connor, I'm not playing.

Can we talk?

Look, about the dance. It's okay.

You're under a lot of pressure.

And all this talk of dating, it's... I understand.

So how's your paper coming?

Great. Can I see it? Uh, it's not really done yet.

Okay. Hey. The Victorian era was an era where lots of things happened.

It's not done yet.

Well, good.

Because I did some research and I printed this out for you.

I don't need any help, Allie.

Well, I just thought that if we take team, it would free up some time for the

dance.

Just trying to help.

And I appreciate it.

But I can do this best thing on my own.

Okay.

But if you got an A, would your mom maybe reconsider Friday night?

She'll ask why I didn't get an A pot.

Well, what if you did get an A -plus?

Don't get your hopes up.

Uh,

yeah, yeah. Two cases should be fine.

Better make it three. Thanks.

Um, four?

No, five. Five hundred balloons.

Helium.

Yeah. The floaty kind, right?

Okay, thank you.

Look at us.

Busy beavers. Yeah, you're right about the distraction.

Let's let the doctor work it.

So, how are you?

You okay?

Yeah. Skin crisis solved.

That was fast.

Yeah, Fiona's never getting her Xeno back.

Yeah, that's cool. But, um, man, how's the Declan breakup -y stuff going?

Yeah, I'm feeling a little better.

Yeah, good. No, because I was going to suggest maybe more of a distraction,

tonight.

Sounds tempting.

But I have to work.

Right, yeah.

And I mean, I'm sure you've got tons of way better distractions anyways.

Yeah, tons.

Hey, my shift's over at 8.

Will your parents let you come meet me for a free snack?

Yeah, and of course, to go over, you know, student council concerns with my

I could sell it.

Hey, Conor.

Come and shoot some hoops?

Yeah, I'm just waiting for a message.

From who?

Love queen.

I mean, just this girl.

A girlfriend?

She's a girl, and she's a friend, so... Shut the front door. You have a woman?

Yeah, we chat while we play online, and I like talking to her. She listens. She

understands me.

Oh, yeah, that's great. You got any pics?

Yeah, this one right here.

A purple alien with cohorns.

Your head isn't perfect.

You mean you've never seen her?

No, but I know her, Dave.

Yeah, for all you know, you're talking to a fat dude with no teeth.

So you're not going to come out and play basketball?

I can't take Dave on alone.

Yeah, dude, seriously, leave Fantasyland and come help us out.

Okay, fine, I'll be out in a minute.

Don't go borrowing trouble Don't go dancing for rain

It don't have to hurt, babe

Don't go beckoning pain

Take it easy, lovin'

Pre -nachos?

The cook screwed up another order.

How do you screw up nachos?

It's not a burrito.

Ah, thank you. Is this your boyfriend?

Oh, no, it's a friend. Hi.

Could you imagine?

Yeah, together?

Ridiculous. Totally.

You look busy.

Later, typing furiously.

Did you help Drew with his essay?

Sort of.

Sort of?

I'm sort of helping him now.

You're writing it for him?

Not exactly. I'm just coming up with a thesis and offering supporting

So you're writing it. Okay, fine, but it's for a good cause. I mean, if Drew

gets a good mark, then maybe his mom will let him go to the dance.

What if Perino finds out?

How would he?

It's a Drew Torres original.

I guess it's worth it. Well, you'd help your boyfriend, right?

Yeah. Put it on Perino's desk, which is surprised and happy, and you and I can

play a dance outfit.

How'd the essay go?

Feeling pretty good about it.

Yours, too?

What do you mean, mine?

I didn't even finish.

Sure you did.

A -plus material, I guarantee.

Oh, you wrote it?

Spell check printed in. Put it on Prino's desk. Your mom will be very

Well, do you realize... Everybody, please, pass your estates to the front

class.

Um, Mr. Prino?

No, Mr. Torres, there will be no extension on this deadline.

No, Mr. Prino, this isn't mine. Apparently, you do not need one.

Mr. Prino, that's not mine. Your usual last -minute efforts?

Apparently not. This intro is pretty impressive.

Really? Yeah.

What do you mean by disambiguated?

I think you said it in class once.

Did I spell it wrong?

No. No, you didn't. And along with solipsistic.

Why don't you send me the online scan?

Did you plagiarize?

Did you buy it online or did you get some smart girl to do the work for you

instead?

No. Where are you?

Yeah, you better hit the office.

Sir, you're right.

I wrote it.

Well, that makes more sense.

But Drew didn't know. I just wanted him to finish and get a good mark.

I'm sorry.

He had no idea.

Is this true?

Okay, Allie, you know where to go. Drew, Doc and you agreed.

Sir, I told her not to.

I'm just hedging my bets.

Blue.

That's it.

How are things shaping up for Friday?

Uh, Holly J.

I have a confession to make.

Fab, me too.

Don't kill me, but those are the rest of the balloons.

Are you kidding?

They weren't inflated?

Yeah, apparently you have to specify.

I don't know, only 495 more to go, though.

I think that's a good next period.

Anything to get out of French.

There is an upside, however.

You got to hang out with your president.

Whoa, easy on the gas, Mr. Press. All the cool kids are doing it. You know you

want to.

There's just so much peer pressure.

Ilium, it's the right thing to do.

Wow.

Hi.

I'm sorry. I thought... No, it's fine.

Shoot, um... I was supposed to meet Fiona, though. Is it okay if we finish

these later?

Uh, yep.

Yep.

If there were a way I would even the

score You would love me...

And I'd love you more.

I think I knew all along we were just

wrong. Well, I got a massive makeup essay, but could have been worse.

Well,

apparently doing something else at home, of course, that's our consent is a

moral criteria.

You're totally not in trouble, by the way. That's not the point.

Do you think I can't write my own stupid essay?

Um, I was just trying to help. You said you couldn't go to the dance. Yeah.

You made me look like an idiot?

That was a great plan.

I guess you never wondered why I didn't want to go to the dance.

Okay, why?

There's a trial period before I can give someone the girlfriend label.

Okay, so what, I had to pass some kind of test?

Yeah. And you failed.

Forget it.

I thought you were worth it.

But I was wrong.

Virginia, you're not very smart.