Original subtitles

Oh, yeah!

Wow. That's awesome. Is that big for each?

Only the best for my darling bro on the occasion of his moving to Sweden.

Your brain's clearly already redecorating my bedroom. It's

as in Zurich. Yeah, as in 6 ,497 kilometers away.

James, I hear you are looking for a new manager, someone to whip, swatch designs

in the shade. Yes, Marco told you.

Okay, good. So we can get together and talk about it tomorrow morning?

Resume's printed and out there ready.

Thank you for implying that I'm boring.

I wasn't implying that you're boring just because you don't like dance, eh?

we not fight about this now? It's embarrassing.

So you're moving in, eh?

A funky downtown address to go with my hopefully new job.

Ching -ching.

So where is the lovely Carla tonight?

Battery class.

Yeah, my girlfriend ditched me to make a bowl.

Well, at least you have somebody. I, however, have been walking through a

romantic desert, and my feet are tired.

Well, don't look at me to rub them.

But I'm sure we could find a hot guy or two to warm up your cool autumn night.

Well, cheers to that, dear Cupid.

Paige Michalchuk.

Jesse Stefanovich. You are the one I speak to about putting an ad in the

For Jimmy and Spinner's store. Yeah, you're looking at their new manager.

Congrats. Um, these are our rates.

Yes, uh, rates.

Funny thing, there is a minor issue of cash at present.

Namely, that we are lacking it.

As issues go, far from minor.

Well, what if I told you that in lieu of cash, our designer, Jimmy Brooks, will

design T -shirts for the Corps? I'm sure you could use them for promotions.

And once we fix our cash flow issue, we are going to present concerts by local

bands under the Squatch banner. The Corps could co -sponsor.

Good ideas.

Great ideas.

Thank you.

So, do we have a deal?

Down on it.

Thank you for that incisive treatise on celebrity facelifts.

Best class, Liberty and Emma.

Ouch, I hadn't even started.

I didn't know lazy was in your vocab. Not lazy, just distracted.

Don't tell me too many late night sessions at Casa Cameron's. Keep a

Sean and I are taking things to the next level.

Maybe you don't realize that you've told me this before.

Maybe you don't realize that this time I mean it.

Wow.

You're not messing around, sister.

So I hope you're ready. Today's the first episode of Project Paige. My life

reality TV show. In your case, it's The Bachelorette. And we're looking for

guys, eh? Not the other flavor?

Guys will do, thank you. I like them cute, funny, worldly.

Oh, and to fill out a vintage rock tea, just so.

Sounds delish, in a hetero kind of way.

Thing is, Paige, you gotta keep it cash.

Don't get attached to anyone.

Play the field. Be a pimp. Oh, I am the maddest of pimps.

And here comes my date.

Spinner? Cute? Funny?

Worldly? Lose the lesbian filter, hun. He is cute and funny. It's two out of

three. Give my back to dear Carla.

Why is it every time we bring something up, a joke, a story idea, anything, you

just shoot it down?

You're so negative, Ellie.

Guess so.

You guess so.

Taurus much?

Whatever.

I don't want to argue anymore. It's all we've done for weeks.

Arguing was better than this.

Not to mention all the movies and dinners and laughs we used to have.

That's why we need to end this.

Before it ruins what's left of us.

See you at the staff meeting.

He's essential, the name. Is that a good thing?

Are we really going to do this?

Sex is an expression of our intimacy and closeness.

Your nose is so growing right now.

Em, Sean, what are you doing here?

Well, I'm late for work.

Later, Sean.

Em, are you sick?

No.

It's just that... Well, Sean and I are...

Nate?

Oh, oh, oh, God.

I'm an idiot.

Sorry. Does your mom know about this?

Yeah. We had the talk.

Cool.

I just, you know, I didn't know.

Well, I will see you at home for dinner.

Sure thing. Later, skater.

Entrepreneur's Fair, booth 112.

You played the mall lady like a drunk. Thanks, hon. You helped too.

Nah, I don't have the page power of persuasion.

But we make a good team, huh?

Not looking a gift horse in the mouth here.

What's going on?

Banting was less than fun for me, so...

To paraphrase Sheryl Crow, I just want to have some fun.

Fun's good.

Just the last time we did this last year, it ended weird.

Because we had no ground rules.

This time we do. We are just friends.

Friends with a benefits package.

Those are benefits I could live with. The best of both worlds.

Cash is the way we rock it.

You said that without laughing?

The moment overtook, it just felt so good to mack on Spinner with impunity.

Well, great. I have class with him in 20 minutes. I'll try to ignore his big,

dumb, grinning face.

Jesse, hey.

Hey.

Uh, latest edition, ads on page three. And I asked Nina to write a piece for

guys for a fashion column.

This is...

Wow. Thank you so much. The core and Squatch's band could have a future

together. In business.

Alex.

Um, you know Jesse, right?

Yeah, you're Ellie's boyfriend.

What?

Ellie didn't tell you we broke up?

She keeps to herself a lot.

Yeah, she's like that.

Well, I gotta run.

Interviewing a friend's band.

journalist of you.

What are they like?

Kind of an alt -country vibe.

Yeah, they're playing tonight. Campus Club.

If you're into it, you should come.

So, I ran a jam at the pharmacy today with Sean.

Picking up birth control.

You know, the pill?

Really?

Wait.

She told me she asked you.

Well, we had the talk a while ago.

I told her to go on the pill whenever she was ready.

And I was left out of this conversation. Why?

Don't we talk about these types of things as a family?

I wasn't sure if you could handle this type of thing, or if you'd even want to.

It's a woman thing. It's a parent thing, and I want to contribute.

You contribute delicious, nutritious dinners nightly.

Kidding.

Emma, you lied to me this afternoon.

I didn't lie.

There's just some things you don't need to know, okay?

Oh, well, pardon me for being concerned about my teenage daughter who's made

mistakes and feels the need to hide things from me.

Stepdaughter. Whatever. I deserve to be a part of your life.

Hey. Snake, this is exactly why sometimes you aren't. Emma, wait.

I'm meeting Sean. Don't wait up.

in the pocket.

Like in a group.

I like how relaxed they are.

Totally vibing off each other. In the moment, yes. It is the only way to be.

Hey, let's dance.

Sure.

This is good.

I almost forgot what it feels like. Ellie hated dancing.

Too bad. You are a natural.

Move over, Antonio Banderas.

Ain't seen nothing yet, Michael Chuck.

Thank you.

Tell me again why you need me to model at the dumb fair. Because Marco looks

lousy in pink.

Oh, you and Jesse dancing up a storm last night.

Did it end there?

There was coffee at his place. Had an amazing convo.

And then some other stuff.

And Bachelor number one knows about Bachelor number two, i .e. Spinner?

Bachelors one and two both know the score.

As a matter of fact, I am seeing them both tonight.

Ooh, menage a page.

Not quite. Spinner is my seven o 'clock and Jackie's my nine.

Hey, do you want to come to my place when you're done for a post -game wrap

That's a good ice cream.

Sure, hon.

Love to.

Pretty in pink.

Like the movie.

Hey.

Thought we could maybe talk.

And my server blew a hard drive.

Look, I'm sorry about last night, but I'm old enough to make my own decisions.

Hello?

I'm trying to have a conversation here.

Emma, no hard drive means no server, means no classes for today. I need to

handle this right now. Because you obviously can't handle the fact that I'm

sexual being.

And you can't keep avoiding it forever.

Not that this isn't fun, but I really need to get going.

Gotta go see the other guy.

Jesse's stupid face. Leonard, you know the deal.

Yeah, I know.

Just being with you feels so right.

I always go by my feelings.

Finn, don't trust your feelings, okay? Feelings are the enemy.

Honey, sweetie, you are clearly new to the ways of friends with benefits.

Maybe it's better if we just stop.

No.

No.

It's cool. I'll get used to it.

See you at the fair tomorrow?

Like what I'm seeing here.

Lots of adventures.

Of the freshman flame -out kind.

Kind of on adulthood take two.

Really? I did that two years ago. Everything was ruined, but it kind of

a road, you know? That is exactly how I feel. Just hit the gas and go.

Totally.

But I'm a cautious driver.

Let's dance, okay? Show me more of those moves.

Oh, afternoon, Miss Nunez. Ready to rock the catalog with insouciant smile?

Yeah, whatever. Let's just get it over with.

Um, is it everyone hates page day? Maybe, seeing as it was ditch Alex and

even call her last night.

Hon, I forgot. I'm sorry. Babe, could you just straighten our sign a bit?

Don't tell me your 9 o 'clock with Jesse became a 10, then an 11, 12, 1. I said

I'm sorry. It's just I think things are becoming a bit more than cash with

Jesse. He's kind of special.

Rush into stuff much?

Pathetic, Paige. Pathetic.

Hence the inevitability of environmental collapse.

Thank you.

Okay.

Thanks, Liberty.

Emma,

you're up.

Your theme?

Women.

And sex.

More specifically, it's about how men have stifled women's sexual expression

throughout history.

Right on, sister.

When men think of girls, this is what they see.

But when confronted with something like this.

A healthy, natural expression of physical intimacy, men can't handle it.

At all.

They feel free to ride their instincts, but when women stand up and declare

their right to be sexual, it's this.

A typical double standard.

Men don't want to hear it.

Are you sure you want to model Jimmy's fab design to that unfab pout?

Not pouting.

Okay, I am.

Look, Paige, here's the deal.

I need all of you or none at all.

Abe, I'm sorry. I should have known this would happen. It's just ultimatums make

me itchy.

It's not an ultimatum, Paige.

But if you don't break it off with Jesse right now, we're through.

And now I'm itchy. Don't make me choose. You won't like my choice.

So you picked stupid Jesse.

His stupid hair and his stupid shirt and his stupid face.

Five minute warning and you got a visitor page.

Jesse, um, what a crazy surprise.

Wanted to wish you luck and get a quote for the poor.

Now is not such a great time, hon. Yeah, go drink a latte, emo boy.

Spinner, could we please be grown up about this?

Yeah.

No. Get out of here, loser.

Oh, I'm a loser? Okay, Spinner.

You'll be cursing that name when it kicks your ass.

Impertinent. One, two, three.

That's what I mean.

Whatever you suck.

Will you both shut up?

You, go stand up.

You go put on the rest of your outfit and a smile because we have to go model

these freaking clothes.

Clear?

Alex. David.

Got a minute for someone who's mean, cruel, and hurtful?

I have all the time in the world because you are none of those things.

I'm sorry for what I did in class. I know it kind of hurt.

It's fine.

Because you were right.

And your presentation, by the way, it was good.

Not very subtle, but good.

I've known you since you were in a stroller, and the idea of you growing

it's... It's a trip.

For me, too.

I mean, I'll be moving away, going to university.

I'm not a little kid anymore.

I just thought this was going to be easier.

I guess I better get used to it.

So?

Dad.

Do you want to have the talk?

You know what?

I think I'm good.

Well, here's to our first fireworks -filled fashion show.

But hey, three new buyers can't be wrong, eh?

Cheers.

So, Spin spoke to me after the show.

All apologies for freaking out, but we both know that it just, it wasn't meant

to be.

But Jesse is still into the cash thing, so what say you, wise counsel?

I said they both suck.

And for that matter, so do you.

You know what, Alex?

You suck. too.

Sorry. Oh, your apology is killing me with its plaintive sincerity.

God, I hate your thesaurus.

And I hate how you're acting right now. Why are you doing this?

Because I love you, you idiot.

So much it scares the crap out of me.

Why?

Why did you tell me to go on all those dates?

Because I thought you being casual with guys was nothing serious.

And a lot better than you with some other girl.

I just can't with you right now.

I really do.

I really have to go back inside.