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1
00:00:18,958 --> 00:00:22,583
Hey, you got a permit
for those guns?
2
00:00:22,708 --> 00:00:25,667
I got your permit right here.
3
00:00:36,750 --> 00:00:38,750
Catchy tune.
4
00:00:45,542 --> 00:00:48,124
Fuck this game.
5
00:00:48,125 --> 00:00:50,458
FUCK YOU!
6
00:01:25,625 --> 00:01:30,833
We need backup, we need Kung Fury.
7
00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:49,083
Yeah, that's my bicep.
8
00:01:50,625 --> 00:01:52,500
One second babe.
9
00:01:52,792 --> 00:01:53,583
Hello?
10
00:01:53,584 --> 00:01:55,832
We got an arcade
machine down here going crazy,
11
00:01:55,833 --> 00:01:58,125
it is killing everybody, it's
destruction, chaos, terror-
12
00:02:00,042 --> 00:02:01,624
What are you gonna do?
13
00:02:01,625 --> 00:02:02,458
My job.
14
00:03:12,542 --> 00:03:14,250
Game over.
15
00:03:19,583 --> 00:03:24,374
I'm a cop and
damn good at my job.
16
00:03:24,375 --> 00:03:26,666
It all began years ago.
17
00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:27,791
In the line of duty,
18
00:03:27,792 --> 00:03:29,499
me and my partner were
chasing down
19
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:32,707
a mysterious Kung Fu-master.
20
00:03:32,708 --> 00:03:34,874
You're under arrest, punk.
21
00:03:34,875 --> 00:03:36,000
Show us your hands.
22
00:03:38,292 --> 00:03:39,374
Good work, Dragon.
23
00:03:39,375 --> 00:03:41,166
That crazy stunt could've
killed us both.
24
00:03:41,167 --> 00:03:44,374
But goddammit, you're the
best partner I've ever had.
25
00:03:44,375 --> 00:03:47,791
Thanks, I learned from the best,
26
00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:49,707
You're like a father to me,
27
00:03:49,708 --> 00:03:53,750
With one fatal blow,
he hit my partner.
28
00:03:54,833 --> 00:03:57,292
I could tell
he was dead straight off.
29
00:04:03,792 --> 00:04:06,707
Before I could pull the trigger
30
00:04:06,708 --> 00:04:11,291
I was hit by lightning
and bitten by a cobra.
31
00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:13,208
I blacked out.
32
00:04:15,292 --> 00:04:19,166
And saw images of ancient
Shaolin temples and monks,
33
00:04:19,167 --> 00:04:21,791
mastering the art of Kung Fu.
34
00:04:21,792 --> 00:04:22,999
There was an ancient prophecy,
35
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,916
about a new form
of Kung Fu so powerful,
36
00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:28,499
only one man could master it.
37
00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:30,333
The chosen one,
38
00:04:31,667 --> 00:04:32,667
When I woke up,
39
00:04:32,668 --> 00:04:35,749
I saw the Kung Fu master
running towards me.
40
00:04:35,750 --> 00:04:37,457
I could feel my body mutate
41
00:04:37,458 --> 00:04:41,833
into some sort of
Kung Fu freak of nature,
42
00:04:53,292 --> 00:04:55,000
You!
43
00:04:55,208 --> 00:04:57,375
You are the chosen one!
44
00:04:58,375 --> 00:05:01,625
- Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
45
00:05:02,167 --> 00:05:04,375
Knuckles.
46
00:05:24,708 --> 00:05:26,249
As a memento,
47
00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:29,332
I put on a strip of cloth
from the dead Kung Fu master.
48
00:05:29,333 --> 00:05:32,999
I decided I would use
my new super Kung Fu powers
49
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:33,958
to fight crime.
50
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:36,249
So, I became
the best cop in the world.
51
00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:39,250
I became, Kung Fury.
52
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,999
I don't wanna hear it Kung Fury,
53
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:38,041
I just got back from city hall,
$50 million worth of damages,
54
00:06:38,042 --> 00:06:41,582
and I got the mayor up
my ass like a fag on Viagra,
55
00:06:41,583 --> 00:06:45,374
How am I going to explain
this to the press?
56
00:06:45,375 --> 00:06:49,791
You just destroyed an entire
city block for Christ's sake.
57
00:06:49,792 --> 00:06:51,874
Didn't you tell me
to block it out?
58
00:06:51,875 --> 00:06:53,832
I told you do it by the book.
59
00:06:53,833 --> 00:06:55,082
Cut the bullshit.
60
00:06:55,083 --> 00:06:56,374
Nobody else could have stopped
61
00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:59,375
that arcade machine
and you know it.
62
00:07:00,292 --> 00:07:03,374
Oh man, listen to me Kung Fury.
63
00:07:03,375 --> 00:07:07,457
You need to start following
the rules like the rest of us,
64
00:07:07,458 --> 00:07:09,832
so I'm assigning you
a new partner.
65
00:07:09,833 --> 00:07:12,082
What?
Hell no, I work alone.
66
00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:13,499
Not anymore you don't.
67
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:17,707
Say hi to your new partner,
Triceracop,
68
00:07:17,708 --> 00:07:19,374
Very nice meeting you Kung Fury,
69
00:07:19,375 --> 00:07:22,291
looking forward to
working with you.
70
00:07:22,292 --> 00:07:25,250
You're like a father to me,
71
00:07:27,417 --> 00:07:28,749
I work alone,
72
00:07:28,750 --> 00:07:31,624
Either you team up
with Triceracop,
73
00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:33,499
or you're off the case.
74
00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:35,582
I'm not off the case,
75
00:07:35,583 --> 00:07:37,000
I quit.
76
00:07:47,833 --> 00:07:51,249
Yeah Yeah, I did the blood test.
77
00:07:51,250 --> 00:07:52,332
It was positive, yeah?
78
00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:54,457
What the hell are you talking about?
79
00:07:54,458 --> 00:07:55,832
Yeah no problem.
80
00:07:55,833 --> 00:07:57,583
Give me the phone.
81
00:08:04,042 --> 00:08:06,583
What the hell is this?
82
00:08:07,833 --> 00:08:11,957
- Chief McNickles speaking.
- Is this the police?
83
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:15,833
- Yeah, this is the police.
- Fuck you!
84
00:08:34,083 --> 00:08:37,124
I need someone
to trace that call!
85
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:38,874
But that's impossible!
86
00:08:38,875 --> 00:08:41,292
Not for me it isn't,
87
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:51,875
Hackerman, he's the
most powerful hacker of all time.
88
00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:57,000
Follow me.
89
00:08:58,792 --> 00:09:02,166
I was able to
triangulate the cell phone signal
90
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,167
and trace the caller.
91
00:09:04,917 --> 00:09:06,666
His name is Adolf Hitler.
92
00:09:06,667 --> 00:09:10,749
Hitler, he's the worst
criminal of all time.
93
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,249
Do you know him, sir?
94
00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:13,416
I guess you could say that.
95
00:09:13,417 --> 00:09:17,416
In the 1940's,
Hitler was a Kung Fu champion.
96
00:09:17,417 --> 00:09:18,957
He was so good at Kung Fu,
97
00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:24,208
that he decided to change
his name to Kung Fuhrer.
98
00:09:24,375 --> 00:09:25,916
But he didn't stop there.
99
00:09:25,917 --> 00:09:28,332
He knew of
the Kung Fury prophecy,
100
00:09:28,333 --> 00:09:29,916
and wanted to claim the throne.
101
00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:32,291
He and his posse of
Nazi soldiers
102
00:09:32,292 --> 00:09:35,250
conducted experiments for years,
103
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:47,332
But they weren't able
to figure out
104
00:09:47,333 --> 00:09:51,292
how to master the art
of Kung Fury.
105
00:09:51,875 --> 00:09:52,875
And one day,
106
00:09:52,876 --> 00:09:55,332
he disappeared
from the face of the earth.
107
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:58,416
And no-one has seen him
ever since.
108
00:09:58,417 --> 00:09:59,292
Until now.
109
00:09:59,293 --> 00:10:02,874
I guess he figured if he could
find and kill the chosen one,
110
00:10:02,875 --> 00:10:04,624
he would become
Kung Fury himself.
111
00:10:04,625 --> 00:10:07,666
He must have traveled in time
in order to get here,
112
00:10:07,667 --> 00:10:10,832
that's probably why
he disappeared.
113
00:10:10,833 --> 00:10:12,958
So, what're you gonna do?
114
00:10:13,167 --> 00:10:13,958
My job.
115
00:10:13,959 --> 00:10:16,499
I'm gonna go back in time
to Nazi Germany,
116
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:18,457
and kill Hitler,
once and for all.
117
00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:21,374
So, how are you gonna do that?
118
00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:22,707
I'm not sure.
119
00:10:22,708 --> 00:10:25,792
I need some sort of
time machine.
120
00:10:29,417 --> 00:10:30,375
Wait a minute,
121
00:10:30,376 --> 00:10:32,374
using an RX modulator,
I might be able to conduct
122
00:10:32,375 --> 00:10:36,041
a mainframe cell direct and
hack the uplink to the download.
123
00:10:36,042 --> 00:10:37,082
What does that mean?
124
00:10:37,083 --> 00:10:41,375
With the right algorithms,
I can hack you back in time.
125
00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:43,832
Just like a time machine.
126
00:10:43,833 --> 00:10:46,458
Well then, it's hacking time.
127
00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:07,917
No!
128
00:13:11,042 --> 00:13:12,916
Fuck!
129
00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:13,957
That's a Laser-Raptor.
130
00:13:13,958 --> 00:13:17,292
I thought they went
extinct thousands of years ago.
131
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:44,207
Who are you?
132
00:13:44,208 --> 00:13:45,708
My name,
133
00:13:46,667 --> 00:13:47,875
is Barbarianna.
134
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,291
What year is this?
135
00:13:56,292 --> 00:13:57,707
It's the Viking age.
136
00:13:57,708 --> 00:14:00,749
That explains the Laser-Raptor.
Fuck!
137
00:14:00,750 --> 00:14:02,791
I went too far back in time.
138
00:14:02,792 --> 00:14:04,582
You need to get out
of this valley.
139
00:14:04,583 --> 00:14:07,041
This place is swarming
with Laser-Raptors.
140
00:14:07,042 --> 00:14:11,457
I'll meet you at the God's drop.
Katana can help you get there.
141
00:14:11,458 --> 00:14:12,957
Who's Katana?
142
00:14:12,958 --> 00:14:15,208
I'm Katana.
143
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,832
I can give you a ride to Asgard.
144
00:14:20,833 --> 00:14:22,292
A ride on what?
145
00:14:45,625 --> 00:14:47,874
So, who are you?
146
00:14:47,875 --> 00:14:50,457
I'm a cop from the future.
147
00:14:50,458 --> 00:14:52,749
I was sent back in time
to kill Hitler,
148
00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:57,707
but I accidently went
too far back in time
149
00:14:57,708 --> 00:15:00,042
and ended up in this place.
150
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:05,667
I know someone
who might be able to help you.
151
00:15:09,417 --> 00:15:14,208
Thor!
152
00:15:28,708 --> 00:15:31,499
Behold! It is me, Thor!
153
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:35,166
Son of Odin
and protector of mankind.
154
00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:37,249
Check out my pecs.
155
00:15:37,250 --> 00:15:38,707
Your pecs are epic.
156
00:15:38,708 --> 00:15:40,833
Thanks bro!
157
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,666
So, anyway,
158
00:15:46,667 --> 00:15:50,166
Thor, this is Kung Fury,
he's a cop from the future.
159
00:15:50,167 --> 00:15:54,582
Yeah, I need to get to
Nazi Germany and kill Hitler...
160
00:15:54,583 --> 00:15:57,500
- so if you could help me with...
- Stop!
161
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,667
Hammer time.
162
00:16:04,250 --> 00:16:09,999
Walk through this portal and
you'll end up in Nazi Germany.
163
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,999
Good luck to you Kung Fury!
164
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,583
Thanks Thor!
165
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:23,582
Well, looks like this is my ride.
166
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:28,250
Hey, future cop,
where are you going?
167
00:16:31,792 --> 00:16:36,042
You know what.
Here, take my number.
168
00:16:36,167 --> 00:16:38,082
And use this phone to call me,
169
00:16:38,083 --> 00:16:41,666
It's a personal, transportable,
cellular telephone.
170
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:44,832
It features 645 channel
capacity,
171
00:16:44,833 --> 00:16:49,166
10 number speed dial,
and an electronic security lock.
172
00:16:49,167 --> 00:16:52,749
This revolution in communication
could make it possible
173
00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:56,833
for more and more people
to have a phone in their car!
174
00:18:18,792 --> 00:18:20,792
Tank you.
175
00:18:28,417 --> 00:18:34,249
I'm the greatest Kung Fu master
of all time,
176
00:18:34,250 --> 00:18:36,083
right guys?
177
00:18:42,958 --> 00:18:46,167
Thank you!
178
00:18:58,875 --> 00:19:01,332
I'm disarming you.
179
00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:03,958
My arm! My arm!
180
00:19:17,875 --> 00:19:19,583
Kill him!
181
00:20:54,958 --> 00:20:57,417
You don't need that spine,
182
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,083
it's holding your back!
183
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,041
Fuck you Kung Fury.
184
00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:38,417
Now nothing can stop me
and my army of death,
185
00:21:51,542 --> 00:21:53,333
Thank you guys!
186
00:22:00,250 --> 00:22:01,625
What the fuck?
187
00:22:47,292 --> 00:22:48,417
Kill them!
188
00:23:45,333 --> 00:23:51,000
Alright Hitler, the gig is up,
show me your hands.
189
00:24:09,375 --> 00:24:13,875
Hackerman,
have you seen Kung Fury?
190
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:18,833
No! We were too late.
191
00:24:57,250 --> 00:24:59,082
Who the hell are you?
192
00:24:59,083 --> 00:25:01,874
My name is Cobra.
193
00:25:01,875 --> 00:25:06,082
I've been expecting you
Kung Fury.
194
00:25:06,083 --> 00:25:08,541
I'm your spirit animal.
195
00:25:08,542 --> 00:25:10,207
What the hell is this place?
196
00:25:10,208 --> 00:25:15,958
This is heaven,
I'm afraid you're dead.
197
00:25:16,292 --> 00:25:17,499
What?
198
00:25:17,500 --> 00:25:20,082
But it looks so real.
199
00:25:20,083 --> 00:25:24,499
Yeah, no it's totally real,
200
00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:26,416
Mr. Cobra, I'm a police officer.
201
00:25:26,417 --> 00:25:29,957
I need you to send me
back to earth, pronto.
202
00:25:29,958 --> 00:25:32,916
I'm sorry,
I can't help you with that.
203
00:25:32,917 --> 00:25:35,624
You see, you're dead,
204
00:25:35,625 --> 00:25:37,707
- You're under arrest!
- What?
205
00:25:37,708 --> 00:25:42,875
For obstruction of justice,
you're breaking the law!
206
00:25:57,500 --> 00:25:58,541
What the hell happened?
207
00:25:58,542 --> 00:26:02,291
I hacked away all of
your bullet wounds Kung Fury,
208
00:26:02,292 --> 00:26:03,083
Thanks!
209
00:26:24,792 --> 00:26:30,208
I want to welcome you
and your friends to Germany.
210
00:26:32,083 --> 00:26:34,624
We are not so different,
you and I.
211
00:26:34,625 --> 00:26:39,041
I mean we both got
good style, you know?
212
00:26:39,042 --> 00:26:41,292
Red, you know?
213
00:26:41,542 --> 00:26:43,333
So, that's cool!
214
00:26:44,583 --> 00:26:48,542
We both like doing moves,
check it out!
215
00:26:50,125 --> 00:26:55,792
And killing people, I love it,
you clearly do, too!
216
00:26:56,250 --> 00:26:58,208
And that's cool!
217
00:26:59,125 --> 00:27:00,042
Join me,
218
00:27:00,043 --> 00:27:03,582
we could be brothers,
we are so alike.
219
00:27:03,583 --> 00:27:07,124
It's almost like
we finish each other's...
220
00:27:07,125 --> 00:27:09,292
- Balls.
- What?
221
00:27:31,625 --> 00:27:33,916
Oh, my,
not much left of him is there?
222
00:27:33,917 --> 00:27:37,292
The important thing is that
he is gone.
223
00:27:37,833 --> 00:27:39,624
Sorry I doubted you Triceracop.
224
00:27:39,625 --> 00:27:41,874
You're the best damn partner
I've ever had.
225
00:27:41,875 --> 00:27:45,291
I came back in time
for you Kung Fury,
226
00:27:45,292 --> 00:27:47,917
because, damn it, I love you.
227
00:27:52,083 --> 00:27:56,250
Team work is very important.
228
00:27:56,875 --> 00:28:00,833
So, what happens now Kung Fury?
229
00:28:02,833 --> 00:28:06,167
Well, I need to
head back to the office.
230
00:28:06,750 --> 00:28:10,833
Looks like it's gonna be
hell of a lot of paperwork.
231
00:28:33,750 --> 00:28:34,791
Open the doors, Hoff.
232
00:28:34,792 --> 00:28:38,291
I'm sorry Fury,
I can't let you do that.
233
00:28:38,292 --> 00:28:39,374
Open the doors, Hoff!
234
00:28:39,375 --> 00:28:43,541
I'm sorry, I can't let you
open the doors Kung Fury.
235
00:28:43,542 --> 00:28:44,791
Goddammit, open the doors!
236
00:28:44,792 --> 00:28:48,457
- Sorry I can't...
- Open the doors!
237
00:28:48,458 --> 00:28:54,749
Did anyone ever tell you
not to hassle the Hoff 9000?
238
00:28:54,750 --> 00:28:58,250
Hoff 9000, you son of a bitch.
239
00:29:13,542 --> 00:29:15,458
Piece of shit,
240
00:29:31,292 --> 00:29:33,499
Oh, my,
not much left of him is there?
241
00:29:33,500 --> 00:29:38,167
The important
thing is that he is gone.
242
00:29:50,375 --> 00:29:52,333
Game over.
243
00:29:53,542 --> 00:29:55,542
Wait a minute,
244
00:29:56,375 --> 00:29:59,625
I've seen that symbol before...
245
00:30:01,375 --> 00:30:03,333
somewhere.
246
00:30:12,750 --> 00:30:13,958
Hitler!
17133
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