All language subtitles for the_latest_buzz_s03e20_the_issue_issue

This elevator is going down for people
who have already finished the article,

we like to call them, The Great Ones.

The Great Ones, isn't that just you and
me, Michael?

Welcome to greatness.

Or just fast typiness.

True enough.

When I began my story on Best Friends
two days ago, I never realized how

complicated it would become.

The complication is what rock and roll
is all about. Well, that and tight

leather pants, but that's probably not
the point. Meeting one of music's

stars was a challenge.

The kind of challenge that was perfect
for me, with a lot of hard work and the

things that really matter.

Great shoes, hot hair, and a matching
bag. I knew nothing could go wrong.

Famous last words.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It all started Tuesday with a seemingly
innocent question.

Hey, Michael, would you like to be a
part of my best article?

Let me think.

Yes, but only use the lies in this press
kit. I don't want you making up any new

ones. I don't want a pre -packaged
version of you.

I'm writing an article on boys and girls
who are best friends.

For the perfect case study.

Sounds promising, as long as I get final
approval of the text. No deal. Shared

written by credit?

No. If it's made into a movie, Will
Smith lays me. That seems very unlikely.

Dunno, Davies, you fox.

Another deal in the bag.

This is going to be the best article
I've ever written.

Why wouldn't it be? You, me, then me,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, friendship

junk, then me.

Meeting superstar Brock Ravage was
pretty cool. I was glad I had a bunch of

interviews behind me, so I wasn't the
least bit nervous.

So, this is great.

Cool, it's good.

Chatting it up old school. You, me, me
talking more than you, you staring

blankly as I yak on without even asking
a single question. Wish there was a stop

button on my mouth. Well, looks like we
have the same wish.

So I started the interview slow.

But I turned it around quickly.

We don't have to strike a pose.

We know who we are now. But nothing
always rhymes with me sometimes.

Let's go, Wild Rockets!

Let's go, Wild Rockets!

Take a chance and shock yourself.

Thankfully, I've moved past the terror
to some degree of competence.

even though time flew by and managed to
write every word Brock Ravage said.

Turns out there wasn't a stop button on
his mouth either.

Man, this is the best interview I've
ever given. You're really easy to talk

Noah. I knew I had to say something cool
in return.

The moment demanded it. It was nice
rapping with you. I got a jet. It's

night at the Jackson's and I get to pick
the topping.

Yeah, I got a jet too on my actual jet.
I got a concert tonight in Whistler.

Cool means different things to different
people.

When it comes to clothes, every girl has
that perfect outfit.

The one she puts on to feel confident,
happy, and, let's be honest,

to boys. You know, the one I'm talking
about.

You reach for it any time you need a
little something extra.

Are those fashion magnets?

That is so cute.

Wait, is that supposed to be you?

No.

Okay, yes, but my article's not about
me, which is odd.

It's about finding the one outfit that
puts you over the top and into the heart

of any boy you desire.

Um, like Wilder?

No.

Okay, yes. It's been forever since I
bailed on the trip to Mexico, and he

hasn't asked me out on a real date. I
need stronger ammunition.

Ah, the perfect outfit.

I have one of those. I call it my little
Bo Peep dress, because when I wear it,

your shepherd comes running.

It's nice.

So, what do you think?

Like I didn't already know the answer.
It's perfect.

Toast. I think a wild man's about to be
tamed.

And that's why certain

celebrities deny rumors that she's now
being difficult on set.

That's it for this week. But for more
Michael Davies, check out Rebecca

column. Since it's all about me.

Hey, Michael.

Have a look at these pictures from when
we were kids.

Oh, here's us putting on a play in the
backyard.

We swept the Harper Awards that year. It
helps that we were the only nominees.

I can't believe we still have all of
these. Why wouldn't I?

We have some amazing memories.

Now I get to write about them in my
article.

Why don't we focus on what we're doing
now? For example, I've been... Oh,

Michael, our readers know what we're
doing now. They see it every week. This

where the real story is.

Am I wearing a sailor suit there?

And Velcro shoes.

Somehow we still got the nod for best
wardrobe.

So, here's my idea.

We bring back our routine from when we
were nine.

Professor Squiggle, the silly scientist.

Bring it back?

Like to the store for a full refund?

No. Bring it back tonight.

We can do it for people in the office.

Tonight?

I'm sorry, but I have to, uh... You're
stomping on the memories.

Here's us in the pool three years ago.

Look at your water wings.

My mom made me wear those because I just
ate.

I can't believe the stuff Brock told
you. We're going to have to start

you Scoop.

Scoop? Sure, when we time travel back to
the 40s, see?

Anyway, just waiting on the fact
checkers, but that's a no -brainer.

It's going to be our cover story.

I'm proud of you, kiddo.

I fantasized about how awesome my life
would be when the story broke.

I'd be a famous journalist, Brock
Ravage, and I would be best friends.

Naturally, we'd go bowling together.

Brock Ravage, is that you?

Oh, hi, my fact -checking friends.
What's the good word?

What do you mean, Lyle?

Buzz can't print any of it? Are you
joking?

Never ask a fact -checker if he's
joking.

They'll scream at you like an old man
slipping in milk at a convenience store.

Time for my Warrior Tribe 4 review.

I haven't been so focused on something
since Warrior Tribe 3.

Yo, buzzers. I hope you've been saving
up your allowances because Warrior Tribe

4 is cooler than a penguin on an ice
cube.

When you're in the perfect outfit, boys
are going to stare. Don't be afraid of

these stairs, girls, but do pretend not
to notice them.

Hey, buzzer. Notice anything different?

You notice things better by looking.

Sorry, man, I gotta get my story done. I
have a super important meeting.

I'd like to order a raspberry smoothie
and have you dump it over that boy's

head. I'm gonna have to call my manager.

And that's why you're never gonna be
employee of the month. You can't stop me

from trying.

With some boys, you need to be a little
less subtle.

Walter, could you quit typing for a sec?
Our deadline isn't even for two days. I

have something to show you. No sweat. A
manager's going to be finished just when

I can squeeze you in before my meeting.

Ooh, my meeting got bumped up.

Ice cream man!

Ice cream man! Ice cream man! Wait up,
mister. I've exact change. I'm coming.

This could have been prevented.

My manager says the smoothing dumping
would have been fine. Too late. I'm

my smoothie dumping business elsewhere.

This picture of Brock says, I'm super
cool, but approachable.

Ever had to deliver bad news to someone
who's counting on you? And this one

says, I'm super cool and can sing way
better than you. My move is to babble

incoherently, then stick the bad news in
when nobody's listening.

Just so hard to pick, isn't it? All the
pictures are just dandy.

I know.

I'm going over the final details of your
story. Is it good to go?

Oh, it's good. The fact checkers found a
few things.

Address change, mother's maiden name, we
can't use a single word he just said,

and the birthday art. What did you just
say?

Is this one of those, you didn't hear
what I said or you can't believe what I

just said?

We can't use a single word he said.

Ah, the second one.

Look at your filing system.

It is beyond super. It is very super.

Noah, if everything is off the record,
then I'm going to have to pull the

You better go talk to those fact
checkers one more time. Now get.

I do file like nobody's business.

Hello, everyone. I'm Professor Squiggle.

What's that, friend?

I say, what's that, friend?

Oh, yeah.

What? My breath stinks?

You're right. If only I had some gum.
Maybe in my coat pocket?

Excuse me. I can't seem to find my
mouth.

Excuse me? That's funny as ever.

Mmm. Fresh and minty.

Now... Who wants to hear a song?

I'll take that as a yes.

This one's called Squiggle Up to
Science.

Applause.

I'm Professor Squiggle and I see you.

I like science from my head and even to
my shoe.

I just tap my head and I scratch my
chin.

If I forget what I was thinking, I just
start again.

Thank you, thank you. Good night, you
chin everybody.

That was a little self of fun. Can we
please retire Professor Squiggle? Right

after we perform on the Buzz website.

Oh, dear.

Michael hates to be less than perfect.

I was sure his lack of enthusiasm was
because he needed to make sure we had

routine down pat.

Hey, Michael, we had a few bumps
yesterday.

Like, went on my head. But I came up
with some new moves that I think you'll

like. Rebecca, I really don't feel like
doing a routine from when we were nine.

Well, that's why I updated our act to
include more mature humor. Like funny

noises. Get ready to fall in love all
over again with a certain kooky

Rebecca, listen.

I've been playing basketball.

And I haven't told people because I want
it to get good.

And get an outfit that compliments my
athletic physique.

But the Michael Davies I know hates
sports.

We went and spent an afternoon preparing
50 excuses for you to miss gym class.

One was my knees faced the wrong way.

Now I like sports.

And basketball is like a musical on
hardwood floors.

Okay, whatever you say.

See you at 4 .30 for the video. Put on
your performance pants.

Seem to be the same as my total
humiliation pants.

Sloppy Joe's. A food that's tasty and
gives you permission to be a slob.

Today's me good day.

Wilder didn't know the half of it. When
he saw me in this new perfect outfit,

he'd ask me out for sure.

Hello, Wilder.

Notice anything different about me?

Wilder, I'm wearing a one -of -a -kind
gown. I turn heads at every major ball

I've been to.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I wasn't laughing.

Walter! No, no, no, no.

I'll be serious.

Nothing was funny.

Anyone would wear that to school.

You know nothing about fashion.

Or girls!

Wait, wait. It's fabulous.

I've got good news.

Brock Ravage called, he corroborated my
whole story, and later we're going

bowling? No.

But I believe that he gave you that
story. And most importantly, I believe

you. I know that you can get him to
verify what he said.

I'll do whatever it takes. I'll sing his
music, tell jokes, reenact the time he

fell backward into his drummer. Just get
him to verify the story.

Done. Consider it done.

I was out to prove to TJ that I could
accomplish anything.

Nothing was going to stop me.

Although that didn't help too much.

Michael should be here any second.

I'd call him, but... I was getting
worried.

Sorry, I had a game.

Can we just do this, please?

We're live in five, four, three...
Professor Squiggle

here, team buzzers, saying science can
be fun, fun, fun.

Rebecca, can we talk for a sec?

Do the arm thing.

Why... I can't remember the time my nose
was this itchy. I really don't think...

It just keeps getting itchier and
itchier. But I just don't... Scratch my

Ah, gosh, folks, I think it's time to
brush my teeth.

Good thing I have a toothbrush in my
pocket.

Becca, what's the point of this again?

The video adds a great visual touch to
the story. Plus, it's hilarious.

Becca, I just don't think this is
worth... Michael, what is your problem?

This! This is my problem. I don't want
to do it.

How could you not want to do Professor
Squiggle? Because it's lame. That's why.

This is the lamest thing we have ever
done.

If this is fun, then we are here. In the
entire world, there's nothing sadder

than this.

Stop filming now.

I love Professor Squiggle. Do you do
parties?

So, Team Buzz fans, you may as well
know, Professor Squiggle was actually

people. One, a selfish goof who didn't
know how to listen.

And the other, my best friend, Michael
Davies.

Uh, your ending still needs work.

Coming through. Coming through.

You really need to improve your
security.

You. Not exactly who I wanted to see
jumping into my limo. Pleasant surprise.

Can we talk?

You got two minutes.

No.

This is nice.

It's like a minibar at a hotel without
your dad saying, put those peanuts down,

they're 14 bucks.

We had a great interview yesterday.

I often fool myself into thinking it was
a great interview, but this was

objectively great.

You got one minute.

Look, it's only some pretty crazy stuff.

You're feeling embarrassed, maybe having
second thoughts, but you can't tell my

editor and the fact checkers that I made
the whole thing up.

Look, my people read the article.

It's just not the image we're trying to
put out there. But you came off quirky

and real, and those are some good things
to your fans.

Ha! He couldn't argue out of that.

I think we're done here.

Well played.

Before I go, I have to say one thing.

Your CD was the first one I ever bought,
and it's still the best one I own.

You know, you're the reason I wanted to
write about music in the first place.

And even if this story doesn't get
printed, it's still the best interview

ever done.

You can't...

Tell your dad the peanuts were only
eight bucks.

Even the most perfect outfit is
powerless against the ignorance of some

When you earn the best and got nothing,
wear the worst and get comfortable.

I've never seen you look this way. Yeah,
yeah. Fashion girl slums it in sweats.

Better than wearing a ball gown to
school, right?

You may think you're slumming it, but
you look amazing.

Gorgeous.

Like the most beautiful you've ever
looked.

What? Really?

This? This was my perfect, irresistible,
wilder, taming outfit?

Grave fleece?

Go out with me tonight.

Well, that sounds great. Where would you
like to go?

Foosball. I know just the place.

Foosball?

I may be dressed down, but that doesn't
mean I want to hang out with a bunch of

greasy hooligans.

Hey, thanks for lending me this dress. I
hope it works for me, too.

I was not looking at her

perfect, irresistible, wild,
entertaining outfit I could wear.

And then I knew it.

It's not about the... Perfect dress?
It's about the girl inside it. And this

girl had blown it by being too mean.

Looks like our time is off again.

Besides, I have nothing to wear.

Me neither.

Obviously I did.

Amanda Pierce. But right now I was
dressed for a night of TV and ice cream.

Well, at least somebody's timing was on.

You can pull the article.

He wouldn't admit a single thing.

At least I got some peanuts.

Oh, you got more than that. You got the
cover.

Peanuts and the cover?

No. I don't know what you did, but you
must have made quite an impact on Brock

Ravage.

Hmm?

I guess I could have given you a ride
back, but, uh...

Wasn't my way a lot more dramatic?

Wouldn't have been any less dramatic to
give me a bus fare.

Look, I freaked about the article, all
right?

But I'm sorry.

It's not often you meet a true fan who's
also a really good writer.

Go to there.

Ow.

Hey, do you want to go bowling?

Uh, no.

Getting the interview with a rock star
made me feel like, well, like a rock

star. Ready to rock, let's hear it,
people! Yeah! Woo!

Wow,

you are really good.

Oh, I'm good.

I'm how them globetrotters good.

I'm sorry.

You go.

I'll go.

I'm sorry I forced you to do the
Professor Squiggle routine.

I was afraid we were drifting apart, and
I wanted to remember the good times.

Even if you obviously didn't.

And I'm sorry I bailed on you, but we're
not drifting apart, Rebecca.

I've changed, but our friendship hasn't.

I just have a few new interests.

So, want to shoot some hoops? You mean
it? Cool.

I'm pretty terrible.

No, you just need some help.

You ready? Yeah.

Ah, there you go.

Hey, if I put on a lab coat and a funny
voice... Just shoot the ball, Rebecca.

In life, like in fashion, timing is
everything.

And sometimes people notice you when you
least expect it. I knew now I was

smarter.

Stronger. Happier.

And definitely more mature than I was
before.

Come to the blurb, quick!

There's a squirrel with a hat running
around. You gotta see it.

OMG, I love animal fashion.

When it's done right, of course.

I'm going to write about the squirrel in
my article.

Michael, pose as the squirrel.

No way, that thing's dressed better than
I am.

I always said animals should wear hats.
I said they should wear shoes, too.

Well, just a hat would look silly.

Hey, what was so important you needed to
see me?

Oh, DJ, no.

Live your life, Shepard. That is what
you always tell me. Not this. Oh, this.

What if the kids find out?

Just close the door.

Oh,

boy,

am I hungry.

My favorite.

Okay, that's enough.

I'm Professor Squiggle. Believe the
hype. If you work for me, you better

I listen well in interviews and work
real hard. I go to concerts, meet

and famous stars.

Thank you. Thank you. I'll be here all
week.

You want to go get something to eat?

I sure do.