Original subtitles

Pardon me? Did you ask why I'm glowing more than usual?

Hmm, let me think.

No. You see, I'm basking in kudos. Kudos to see from a spectacular scoop.

Karina, the supermodel, caught kissing someone other than her billion -dollar

boyfriend. I'm actually busy right now.

Who did the catching? How funny you should ask.

It was me, Michael Davies. I did it. Oh, sweet accolades. Why do you pile up on

my doorstep? I'm an unwilling participant in this conversation.

Please stop.

No, this is my day. I have a Natty Alfred, a great story, and a perfect

complexion. This day is glorious.

Yeah, you had to ruin my life.

I stand corrected.

Oh, I just got a zit.

Ew.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And that's why I decided to do a story on Ernie Kim's food drive.

Wowzer, Michael, I'm so glad that you'll be representing Buzz.

When you said food drive, I thought it would involve somebody driving me to

dinner in a limo.

Turns out I'm going to have to be a no -show. I have real problems to worry

about. By problems, you mean trying to avoid an enraged supermodel?

Yeah, that's exactly what I meant.

But now we have a very special guest to give a very special announcement.

Yay, Mr.

Shepherd's going to introduce a special guest.

Oh, you're the special guest.

Wow. Someone I know from one building in my life is in another building in my

life. Good news, guys. As you know, every week at Ernie C., a different

does the morning announcement. The football club. The math club. And this

it's Teen Buzz.

Yay.

Can I get a volunteer?

Who in the name of nerdlingers would volunteer for that?

No way. Anyone's going to want to do that. Who's with me?

See you tomorrow morning at 8 a .m.? Here.

Raspberry banana smoothie.

That should make you feel better.

My life is in ruining.

You owe for more than smoothie.

Why get into blaming and owing and this and that? What happened exactly?

After your picture taking.

Bravo. Broke up with me. Angry!

You did get caught making out with his assistant.

No helping!

Scandal from picture lost my modeling contract, so I was no pay for my condo,

and he froze my account back home.

He froze your account?

That's brilliant.

Brilliant? I'm not knowing what to do!

Oh.

That's the first time I ever missed some smoothie throws.

I don't say this a lot, but...

I'm starting to feel this could be partially my fault.

I'm going to do something I've never done before.

The right thing.

Really?

You would do this?

Don't worry, Karina. I'll get you back on top of your game. Or my name isn't

Michael Goodhearted Problem Solver Davies.

Maybe it should be Michael Hollywood Davies.

What do you think?

Have you ever been to Hollywood?

I wasn't asking you.

Dexter, what's on and poppin'? Our peer reviews are, uh, poppin'. What are we

talking about?

DJ wants us to review each other's performance.

Like a report card, but from each other. Two report cards? Am I being punished

for something?

No, you're being rewarded.

Writing my review will be a breeze.

I just want to clarify that all of my feedback is constructive, and you

shouldn't take anything personally.

It will be really helpful.

Everything is A -OK in the Wild Zone.

Really? Because you have a few areas for improvement.

For instance, sometimes you lock focus.

Huh?

See?

And also, your desk has no writing supplies on it. Well, Rebecca, this pile

napkins isn't just for decoration.

I just think that if you made some small changes, then... I am going to touch

that fly.

It's the last thing I...

You're right. I do need to focus.

Thank you. I'm improving my fly -catching skills.

Hello,

RNC. Welcome to your morning announcements.

First, students are not allowed to park in the staff parking lot.

Remember to drop off your canned goods for the food drive.

Will the following students please report to the principal's office?

Sash Fleming.

Sean Hara, Jeff Wong.

Or the same guys that get called every day.

To save time from now on, we'll just announce which of those guys don't have

report to the office.

Make sure you register for the annual trip to the science pavilion.

If not, no loss. They have a static electricity bulb that makes your hair

up, and that's about it.

The good news is the school bus now has four wheels.

Fortunately, one of them is a steering wheel.

This is Amanda Pierce and Noah Jackson saying...

Keep your lunch in a cool place.

This is really fun.

It's a whole new way for me to be mean to people.

Look, there's one more announcement.

Will Noah Jackson and Amanda Pierce please see Mr.

Shepard after school?

Next steps.

We have to think, Karina.

This vase is not for thinking.

Thinking... It gives me wrinkles.

Come on, you're the perfect combination of fame, beauty, and broken English.

Michael, my confidence is not so good. It's better.

Like glass and street breaking.

That's bad. And kind of incoherent.

I not can do the moves.

Gone! My mojo!

Gone! Well, that's not the problem. I'm the world's premier mojo getter backer.

That's it.

I have the plan.

But I have to know, are you ready to put it all on the line?

Karina is ready.

Good. Get your $2 ,000 tracksuit.

We're going to work.

Now I'm burning out the cup of gold

need to talk.

What you guys did over the PA system... We're sorry, Mr. Shepherd. ...was

superb. It was gonzo broadcast journalism and it went over great in the

teacher's lounge. Really? Really. And that's a tough crowd.

Most of them are out of touch. I'm really the only cool one.

I thought Mr. McDean would get mad at the whole science pavilion thing. It is

his strip. Mr. McDean thought you made an excellent point. So, it's goodbye

science pavilion, hello summer thunderland.

He'll cover the physics of roller coasters and then the biology of

You guys have influence.

Does this mean we get a better school bus?

Let's not try to change the world all in one day.

But good stuff, guys. Keep it up.

Or hit. You know what that means? We need wacky DJ names.

Mandy and Mad Goat in the morning.

You want to be a goat?

Rosebeer Cosmetics, Michael Theodore Davies here, agent to the stars, repping

three -time model of the year, supermodel Karina.

Hello?

So on day's journey tonight, Michael here. Karina.

Hello?

Oh, I got it.

Hi, please listen.

Supermodel Karina wants to model for you.

Oh.

I see. Yep.

I see.

Good news. Thanks to my baritone voice and boyish charm, I got you a gig.

Exactly, uh, success rocket?

It's a modeling job for a boutique company on the verge of exploding.

It's having Wander full of it!

Sure is. Here's the deal. They need a spokesmodel for their new high -end

product launch. This is your opportunity to get back in the saddle. You in?

Since I'm having no other option, Karina is ready.

Okay, I get it.

You're in.

Here you go, Wilder. Here's your peer review.

I used the color tap system to mark your strengths, weaknesses, and areas for

improvement. Wow, that's a lot of improvement colors.

I have some simple suggestions.

For instance, when submitting an article, you should use a highlighter to

emphasize your main points. It helps the reader.

I do like to help people. And I love color in my work. The two have finally

together. See?

Helpful and interesting.

I couldn't find any napkins, so I had to write you a review on this.

Of course you did.

Oh, wait!

Your articles are always well -written, have good punctuation, and proper

grammar. Thank you.

But sometimes they lack heart.

My articles lack heart?

Why, they... Oh, can I see it for a second?

I highlighted lacked heart. See?

I'm using your feedback already.

Trying our new high -end scones.

Flavor grape and vanilla.

Get away from me!

How's my star client?

See, that's the snarling look I love. Make it bigger. There's a couple kids in

the back who aren't getting the full magic.

I think things are bad, but now I think things cannot be first.

This is Judy King from E! Wow! We're live at the Blurb Cafe covering the gory

details of a supermodel's fall from grace.

Make sure they get the full magic.

Tryouts are at 4 p .m. for the rugby team, or as I call it, they couldn't

the football team team.

for the yearbook will be taken tomorrow.

Please remember not to wear anything tacky. I'm talking to you, Drama Club

girls. Can't you at least act like you know how to dress?

The 0 -16 Ernie C. basketball team plays Thursday.

It's not golf, guys. Low score doesn't win.

Our own Mr. Shepard has started a ventriloquism club, proving once again

knows exactly what kids don't want.

Today's cafeteria special is the Swedish meatballs.

which I bet tastes just like the meatloaf, but in ball form.

I have news for you. Putting toothpicks in something doesn't make it fancy.

Swedish meatballs, the food that tastes like sadness.

Those were the morning announcements.

This is Mandy and Mad Goat saying, keep your face out of the water fountain.

Talk to me. Can I ask you a quick question?

I'm always here to help the little people. Shoot.

Did you tell Karina that she can use my office as a bedroom?

Uh, did I tell her?

I may have suggested it and maybe gave her the key. I'm a problem solver. My

office is not a flop house. She thinks she lives here.

It's not that bad, DJ. There's people with real problems.

Michael, this is not a problem.

Having no food is a problem.

Supermodel sadness is just annoying.

If ordering for food... Get me pizza.

If it's not hot, I'm not carving it.

Don't worry. My next plan's already in motion.

Stop talking with the phone. It's not fair for your roommate.

We are not roommates.

Good. Then you move out.

Hello? Did you go home now?

Mr.

Shepard.

You wanted to see us?

You heard our announcements, right? And you couldn't wait to heap praise on us?

Actually, no praise this time, guys. You took things too far. Oh.

I went to the cafeteria and saw the lunch lady crying.

Crying? Evidently, her Swedish meatballs come from an old family recipe that was

passed down from generation to generation.

Wait, the recipe or the meatballs?

Now might be the right time to turn it off.

She was really hurt that you mocked them over the airwaves.

You guys were really mean this time, to everyone.

We were just making jokes.

There's a couple of different kinds of jokes. The good -natured barb, like the

one about the science pavilion. No harm, no foul.

And then there's the more personal joke, which really hurts people's feelings.

We weren't trying to hurt anyone's feelings.

You guys have a lot of people to apologize to.

I'd start thinking of some ways to make it up to them.

Two pecks?

Jen. Hey, Wilder.

Thanks for being really direct in your peer review.

I'm not sure if I was clear on the things lacking in your work. I want to

just as helpful as you were.

Help away.

I looked at your recent articles.

I have some thoughts.

Do any of them involve me blasting through these cyborgs?

Yes. In your last game review, you said this game was arg -oo -ay.

Those aren't even real words. What kind of journalism is that? Try it.

See? My methods might be wonky, but I reach my readers in their own language.

I'm connecting.

I'm not sure onomatopoeia is the best way to connect with people.

On a what?

Are you using big words because you're mad at me? That's a farcical accusation.

See? You're mad at me.

You're an amazing writer, Baxter, but when you write, I don't always connect

the story.

Too much word processing, not enough feeling processing.

Feeling processing?

That doesn't even make sense.

I'm going to go and finish my story on the food drive. Using all real words, by

the way.

Well,

that's it for this week's article.

Do I dare?

Yes!

Michael, you're not understanding.

My life is tough.

Job terrible.

My roommate is running some magazine.

It's not that bad. I mean, you have an agent with perfect teeth.

You just ran into some bad luck.

Why? Why am I so cursed?

Enough. You're not cursed.

You're just being self -absorbed. That's my specialty.

Self -absorbed is model's job, too. You had bad luck, Karina. You're more

interested in wallowing in your misery than helping yourself.

They're people with real problems.

What problems?

There's a food drive for people who can't afford groceries. Now that's a

problem. And why am I here helping you instead of helping them?

Because I am need your help. No, you am need my attention. And the attention

spigot is off.

I'm going to help people with real problems.

Karina, he has real problems.

Ooh, still thinking. Need water bottle shower.

I admit it.

Your peer review is still bugging me. What's wrong with my article?

I didn't say there was anything wrong with your article. Yeah, it's good.

Ernie Coombs collected almost 500 pounds of food, twice as much as last year.

That's a great story, right? It is a great story.

But now you're going to tell me it lacks heart.

No, I'm just saying, it might not just be about food weight. Look around, Bex.

There's more here than piles of cans.

Ooh, baby carrots.

There is a bigger story.

All this food, all this effort, the volunteers, the kids, the people being

helped.

That's how I can connect to my readers.

Now that's an interesting story.

Is it awestruck?

It's awestruck.

Highlighted.

Attention all food drivers.

We have an apology to make.

We took things a little too far today. We got excited that people liked our

humor and made some jokes that were just plain mean. So we want to apologize to

the lunch lady.

Really, really sorry.

I tried your Swedish meatballs, and they really are the best. And since it was

our snarkiness that created this problem, we're going to take a swig of

medicine. That's right, Ernie C. We're turning the hoses on ourselves.

Mandy versus Mad Goat insults off.

You ready?

I was born ready. The way you were born gangly. Oh, really?

Maybe you should get your daddy to buy you a better joke.

No, he's too busy investing in a cure for your bad breath.

You're making girls nauseous.

I saw your skirt on Glee List for $8.

It looks like you cut your own hair with a stapler.

Your teeth are too big for your mouth.

Your body looks like a parking meter. Your weave is made out of horse hair.

This is Mandy and Mad Goat coming to a detention hall near you.

I will say, it feels weird helping people that aren't me.

Weird in a good way?

Definitely.

Wish I'd brought a change of clothes. I don't want to glisten in this shirt.

It's called sweating, Michael.

Michael, you were being correct.

Much helpings be done. This is the most rewarding experience. You see? Helping

people feels good.

Did I just say that?

No, not the helpings. If whale cameras saw me coming in, good press.

They like me helping. And they offer me job hosting TV.

Wow. I'm Ant's network owner.

Finding love.

Getting married. Moving into mansion.

All today.

See? Great agent. Great things happen.

Oh, yes. About that.

You're fired.

Karina is back.

Fired? After everything I did?

I tried to do what was right, and it turned into nothing.

No, it didn't. It brought you here, to the food drive.

Everybody wins.

And sometimes...

The person you end up helping is yourself.

Well, I do like helping myself.

Now I'm going to go help deliver this food.

Want to come? I'd love to.

Wow. I never thought I'd see the day when Michael Davies wasn't being self

-centered. Thank you, but I prefer Michael Hollywood Davies.

Who do you think I'm trying to start?

You could start by actually going to Hollywood.

So? What do you think?

I love it. The family angle is wonderful.

It really tugs on the heartstrings. I know.

Someone already told me.

It's just so... It's so... Sometimes the person you end up helping is

yourself. That's so true.

Just so you know, Rebecca, I'm taking your advice, too.

I'm really trying to focus more.