Original subtitles

Thanks for giving up your Saturday. The Buzz open house is huge.

Doors open at noon. Is everybody ready? I've never been more ready in my life. I

brought three lunches.

As long as the day only involves eating, you're all set.

This is a great opportunity for young journalists.

Yeah, to admire the spectacular party I've planned for them.

I hope it's more spectacular than your New Year's Eve party. It was so boring

counted down to midnight at 8.

I hope you guys don't feel like I'm trying to show you up, but...

I made my own special sign.

Do you guys think it says journalistic integrity?

Sure, if the year was 1782.

Sorry, guys, but that's the way I play.

Delivery. Here for, uh... Amanda Pierce.

That's the way I play.

Game, set, match.

way to get out and hang out with my friends, find out what's new, subscribe

Andrew,

and if that film was true, it's a whole new thing in the pages of my magazine.

I created your booth at summer camp.

Why don't you just put out an old can decorated in gold macaroni?

Because that would be lame.

We're supposed to be putting our best foot forward.

Of course, in those shoes, you best not show your feet at all.

You don't attract real journalists with just bells and whistles.

I totally agree.

Really? I'll see.

That's why I hired Steve Scruggs and the Amanda Pierce dancers to sing my new

theme song.

Who's the little girl you want to be?

Who makes bad girls want to be?

Amanda.

Amanda.

Amanda.

This is going to be blast -tastic. Crispin, my little snowboarding bud,

here in the buzz.

I can't believe that you are good friends with the world champion powder

DJ,

it's called ripping flake. And Crispin and I aren't just friends.

Superbud. He taught the wild men how to board when I was just a little wild

gnome. We were going to chill 24 -7.

Don't get ahead of yourself.

Crispin's training for this year's World Cup. I mean, he might be too busy to be

your Superbud. Oh, when I was your age, I adored Celine Dion.

So one day, I waited in a blizzard.

I was outside of a theater in Moosonee for an autograph, and when she appeared,

I held up a paper, and even though she tried to make my pen's frozen ink flow

with one thought, it was just no use.

So, so, Wilder, you may not get the connection you want.

Hi, I'm Jeffrey's editor.

Crispin Lipscomb, snowboarder. Wilder, dude, it's a job.

Don't want a moist towelette? Goodbye.

Oh, no and no again.

Problem, Michael?

I blew the entire party budget to get Atlantis Morphette to play. No way. I

can't believe it. She's amazing.

She is. But it turns out I was talking to the Atlantis Moist Towelette Company.

Well, at least if they serve chicken wings, we'll all be clean.

This is a nightmare. I told everyone I was going to have a surprise guest.

But it turns out I only have 20 bucks and no band.

Hey, you must know a band that'll work for no money, little food, and even less

praise. Pretty much all of them.

I've got just the band for you.

They're hip, they're happening, and they can always use 20 bucks.

You? Yeah.

I've even booked a set here at 1 p .m.

Check it out.

If you like what you hear, you can hire my band.

I already like the sound of this.

Desperation. You're hired.

Sweet.

You've been great.

I gotta go. Good night.

I've never discovered a band before.

What should I wear?

Okay, journals, the kids are going to be here any minute, so everyone bright

-eyed and bushy -tailed.

Do kids still say that? Old people don't even say that.

Sure is going to be exciting meeting all of those aspiring scribes. I can't wait

to groom my protégés. I'll mold them all in my image.

Except, you know, Wes.

How very mentory. If they see themselves as equals, how will they know who's in

charge?

Speaking of which... Sound check!

Next

time,

I'm throwing a line about my work with dogs and animals.

No shoe.

Just so you know, I don't need glitter to attract kids to my desk.

need is good sense, grit, and gumption. Glitter is the only way to attract kids

to our desk.

Speaking of, I better get into hair and makeup before the masses arrive.

Good luck with your gumption.

I'll show her.

It's time for journalism and calligraphy to take a stand.

Hey,

girl, take a little stand here.

I'm so cratered, I'm going to shout out the name of my new shaman at our cypher

this afternoon.

Corpman's excited to announce a new loop at today's interview.

Please, Wilder. Hey, I'm not that much out of the loop.

Snow Betty's jamming a misty flip on you, Gromit.

Dude, don't hit me with a Grom Bomb.

What'd he say? What'd he say?

He said you have no idea what we're saying.

Fine.

Well, you just let him know that I will be in my office if he needs anything.

The Betty has to get back to the 9 to 5 lockdown.

They fall for it every time.

Dude,

you always shred the gnar.

A pro boarder thinks I shred the gnar?

Awestruck.

Yeah, awestruck.

Awestruck.

Hey, Amanda, how much longer are you going to be? There's a mini riot at your

desk that spilled over into my area.

I think someone stole my macaroni pencil holder.

Steve Scratch is probably eating the macaroni. He has so little.

Oh, hon, it's not my fault I put more into this than you.

Maybe in your desk, but not for the open house presentation.

I'm showing my eyebrow disguises from all my undercover stories.

Nice.

I have a multimedia presentation of Supermodel Karina's runway mishap.

Pictures so frightening, viewer discretion is advised.

That's not nice. We all have bad pictures.

Not me.

Daddy's assistant burns all my bad ones.

Tell my adoring friends I'll be out in five.

They're not that adoring.

Amanda! Amanda!

Amanda!

You're not the only Amanda who works here.

Amanda Pierce!

Amanda Pierce! Amanda Pierce!

Amanda! Amanda!

Michael Dayton.

Diary of a Music Man.

Part One.

Discovering fetal position in the band.

Not sure what style they play, or even the different styles for that matter.

But I did discover them.

Hello, Blurb!

This first song is an original. It is called Violent Thoughts of a Thickening

You.

Feel free to join in during the middle part.

There's never been a good song with thickening in the title.

Can't believe you're the girl who said I make you wanna hurt.

You make me wanna cry like I got something in my eye. Michael Davies,

Music Man Part 2.

Apparently the other members of his band are an accordion and a kick drum.

Went from thrill of discovery to denial of band's existence.

Also buy aspirin for massive music -induced headache.

It's next on, by the way.

See you, DJ.

Crispin' in me. Super buds 24 -7. I told you. Oh, you certainly did, kiddo.

Yeah, I won a medal in Japan.

I learned there are two very important Japanese phrases.

First is abone.

That's watch out.

The second one is tore wa doko desu ka.

That's where is the toilet.

Sometimes you gotta use them both together.

It's true, you know.

It's true.

Yeah, I guess there's really no way to describe the feeling you get when you

a world championship.

Well, you know, I guess there is one word.

Awestruck.

Awestruck? That's my word.

My Celine Dion story makes more sense now, huh?

In no way whatsoever, DJ, but I've still been robbed.

Undercover as Myrtle Bukowski, crusader of accuracy and destroyer of unfairness.

I broke the hot list story wide open.

Presenting fashion columnist extraordinaire, Amanda Pierce and the

dancers.

Where'd that voice come from? It's me, Steve Scrunch.

I was behind the desk.

Who's the little girl who wants to be?

Who's the queen of the shopping street?

Amanda.

Who's the girl you don't want to see?

Rebecca.

You started boarding kind of late compared to other pros. What made you

to take it up?

Well, one day I realized that snowboarding is really skateboarding on

I was so awestruck.

What did you like best about being in Japan, other than sushi and radioactive

monsters coming out of the ocean?

Well, I'd say that it'd have to be Reiki.

That's the art of getting in tune with your life energy.

Totally awestruck.

Totally awestruck, is it? How interesting.

You worked with Wayne Gretzky one time. How was that? It wasn't awestruck, was

it? Dude, I was totally awestruck by Wayne Gretzky.

I guess awestruck does apply in that situation.

I don't know about the other awestruck. Speaking of awestruck... Hey, stop

saying awestruck. That's Crispin's word.

Crispin's word? It feels like I'm launching out of a black -eyed half

Spamming it big time?

I pick up on these things.

What is your problem?

My problem is that I have a flock of fledging fashionistas waiting to talk to

me, but I'm talking to you. The only reason you have that flock is because

stole my recruit.

I'm also giving them free stuff.

We're in a competitive business, Rebecca.

Do you want to get noticed?

Do something about it.

You want my autograph?

Of course, but...

I won't personalize it.

Dear random kid.

Oh, I'll do something about it.

But how to out Amanda Amanda?

How would she handle this?

Hello. Amanda's daddy's assistant.

I need a favor.

Okay. It's fine. No big deal. You know who's going to ruin the whole open house

with songs that sound like rejects from a punked -up Bavarian polka band?

He's your friend. You can't fire him.

Now, who cares about friendship? The only ship I'm concerned about is the S

Davies, and it's about to hit an iceberg.

Uh,

hey, Noah.

We need to talk.

I just don't think that... Hey, man. I wanted to thank you for giving me this

chance. It's really amazing that you get my music.

If you can call it music.

We were friends before, but now you're like a brother.

Brother? I wanted to give you the first ever fetal position tour T -shirt.

And on the back, two times, 1 p .m. and 4 p .m.

Any last words of encouragement?

Maybe you shouldn't say violent thoughts of a sickening you. It isn't very open

house -ish.

More haunted house, no one gets that alive -ish.

You caught that?

Cool. Okay, I'll play your happiness is my nightmare. It's got a nice mellow

vibe and a sweet poker riff. Check it out.

Yeah,

that was awestruck.

Awestruck again? Why don't I just put that down for every question you know to

save time?

Next question, Crispin.

Feeling good, bad, awestruck?

Is that even a question?

I'm going to say... Not awestruck. Last question. When you use the word

awestruck, do you realize you're not only feeling a unique catchphrase,

stabbing your friend in the heart with each stolen syllable that blurts out of

your thieving mouth?

Yeah, I get that question a lot, and the answer's always the same.

Awestruck! That's my word! Ever since I saw Amanda Pierce, step out of that

elevator! Stop using it!

I didn't know Wilder was... so precious about awestruck. My work!

My work!

When you're a model, you have to know the right way to walk and look.

Even the right way to dump a smoothie over your assistant's head.

We're not dumping smoothies today.

A fashion designer's job is to create. A fashion journalist's job is to destroy.

You must pick apart everything a model does.

So, I've amassed a bunch of Karina's fashion flubs. Enjoy.

Look at this photo. Her feet are too big for her shoes.

Amateur.

This one is too funny. She has her dress on backwards.

OMG.

Is that a built -in sash?

How did you...

I think what a phone call to daddy's assistant can turn up. I guess he saved

of those bad photos for special occasions.

Watch and learn, mini -nistas.

There might just be a smoothie dump after all.

That's what you get for stealing people from my desk. It's not called stealing

when people want to be at your fun desk. Fun desk?

It looks like the sun threw up all over it.

I worked hard at this. I didn't just snap my fingers and make it happen.

Rebecca,

Amanda, my office, now.

It's not my fault, DJ. She stole all my recruits. She showed a picture of me

wearing the Easter outfit Step Grammy gave me. Enough!

I'm going downstairs to wait for Michael's surprise guest.

Maybe it's Kelly Clarkson.

Oh, and if you two haven't figured this thing out by the time she gets here,

I'll be looking for your replacement.

I'm sorry I sabotaged your slideshow, even though you totally deserved it.

I'm sorry my desk was nicer than yours.

Just so you know,

I get it.

Glitter does sell, especially since school issues isn't as exciting as

Is that really what you think?

Glitter is great, but it's not everything.

Just once, I'd like to be the one undercover breaking the overcrowded

scandal. Oh, yeah. I was Lindsay Jones, perky blonde.

You read that article? I read all your articles.

I love them, Rebecca.

I love your column, too.

Where else did I learn stuff like... Girls with the right lip liner will

look finer.

I'm so proud.

You want to go back out there and show those mini journals what we really do?

Sure, but when this open house is over, we're burning those photos.

And never trusting Daddy's assistant again.

Unfinished sandwich.

You must be really bummed.

Bummed, huh?

Where'd you pinch that out from, word burglar?

Dude, I did not mean to feel awestruck.

Besides, I was going to give you credit.

When? In a deathbed confession?

No, right after I announced the name of my new boarding move.

The Awestruck Nosebone Impossible.

You named your new move after me? I can't believe you rodeoed me.

Well, I can't let the gnome have all the credit without a little bit of chatter.

Awestruck.

Hey, buddy.

Michael, where's our surprise guest? I've been waiting forever.

Is it Hilary Duff? I love her.

DJ, you've got to help me. That was going to ruin the whole open house.

What are you talking about?

There is no surprise guest.

I hired Noah to play the open house.

He's awful. I was going to fire him, but he said, you're like a brother to me.

I find it extremely hard to fire family.

Okay, I did fire my dad once. But to be fair, it was a lousy field trip

chaperone. Help me, DJ. Help me. Look.

If Noah is like a brother to you, then you owe it to him, to be honest.

But please, be honest with him quickly.

Hey, brother, show me some love. You're fired.

Maybe you think you're playing music, but it sounds like a tuba is giving

to a cockatoo.

You're a music critic.

Can you not know that you sound so bad?

It's really how you feel?

Okay.

You're not mad?

Not really.

It's actually kind of cool to be fired.

I don't understand.

Look, artists get gigs, but rock stars get fired from gigs.

Mainstream crowds can't handle my sound because it's too real.

Yeah, that must be the problem.

But now you need a band. One that doesn't have violent or torment in their

I have an idea. Cell phone.

Hello, DVP agency. It's Noah Jackson.

You wouldn't happen to have any cool musicians around, would you?

Rebecca, I thought you could use some glitter.

Hello, Amanda.

Thanks.

Oh, and this is for you.

I bet if you were to go to your next fashion show as Myrtle Bukowski, you

find out way more than Amanda Pierce would. Yay!

Thanks.

the Myrtle Bukowski unibrow?

Was it ever.

Hey, you know about that? Know about it? It's why I wanted to become a

journalist. Hey, I really like your column. You show a lot of gumption.

Yes. You want to see the rest of my Big Harbor collection?

Yes, I'd love to.

These are the Andy Roonies. You want to try them on?

I've dreamed of this moment.

Ladies and gentlemen, please let me introduce our surprise guest tonight.

Mr. Brett Ryan.

Gotta say, being at the buzz is pretty awestruck.

Gotcha.

You took getting fired really well.

Actually, tonight I'm going to trash my hotel room. You live at home.

And tomorrow I'm not making my bed.

You're beautiful, but you're overwhelming.

You got your friends, but you're still alone.

You think you're so extraordinary, but you're just like me, human to the bone.

You're adamant, but you're compensating for what you know that you're really

not. What's it gonna take to make you dull?

You turn all the stairs one at a time.

Take all your stairs.

You feel it, but you're terrified.

You're not afraid, but you're insecure.

So sure, but you can't decide what's left, what's right anymore.

You're reckless, but you calculated.

You're all tangled up in knots.

What's gonna take to make you stop?