Original subtitles

What do you think?

I think I'm glad you don't have pants that match.

It's for game night at my house on Friday.

It's how I signal that the game is over.

Better than Michael's way.

Flipping the board over and calling everyone Cedars.

Noah, I love that after all that happened, we can still be friends.

Or mates, as Elliot would say.

You know, if he wants to keep being mates, you might want to, oh, I don't

stop talking about the guy you kissed last summer.

It was on top of the Eiffel Tower under the full moon in Paris.

Let it go.

Fine. I'm off to kiss Zuzu Moon.

Let the letting go begin.

Don't you dare!

Noah!

There's a salt. Call the cops.

I'll make you a deal. You don't kiss Zuzu, and I don't mention old What's

-Name ever again.

Okay.

Elliot?

Surprise?

Watching the time pass, can't wait to get out and hang out with my friends,

out what's new, who's bashing on who, and who's bad for what's new. It's a

new scene, in the pages of my magazine.

I still can't believe you're taking family and consumer sciences.

I still can't believe that's just a fancy way to say home ec. How do I get

buy stuff?

Don't worry your little dome off. The Wildman will help you with any of your

culinary concerns.

All right, everyone.

Welcome to my class.

I'm Chef Shepard. You can call me Shepard.

Mistress, you can't teach home ec.

You're the media studies dude.

Wilder, when you love eating, uh, teaching as much as I do, you don't stop

one subject.

Amanda, this is a surprise.

Why? Because I'm the little rich girl who can't do domestic chores?

No, because you once asked me if I knew any stores that sold toast.

I live in the city. I can't grow it on my own.

Class, your first assignment is to prepare a dish of your own design using

ingredients in front of you. You have half an hour.

Half an hour?

That's not long enough to figure out what these cooking machines do.

I don't even know what these ingredients do.

This is impossible.

Done.

I call it the perfect poutine.

I used sweet potato, lamb gravy, parmesan cheese, and fresh white Quebec

curd. Hmm, looks like somebody's a shoo -in to represent Ernie C at this week's

student gourmet challenge. You know, the Prince of Pots is the celebrity judge.

No, he's the reason why I cook.

Wilder has set the bar for all of you. Am I doing this right?

So when I heard my dad was flying here on business, well, I knew I had to come

see you. I'm so glad you did. I've been really stressed lately.

Well then, you're in good hands.

Elliot, you can't just grab my hand.

I know we kissed, but... Becky, it's reflexology.

I learned it from the Tibetan Buddhist monk. It'll help you relax.

No disrespect to the monk, but squeezing my hand like a ripe avocado is not

going to... Oh, that is good.

Look at him, all English and squeezing.

Like he's some British anaconda.

Don't worry, Noah.

As soon as I ask him where he got that natty sweater, he said to me, if you

want, I can give him some of what Amanda cooked up today.

That'll send him home.

You have no appreciation for my innovative style.

You mixed onions and chocolate.

It was supposed to set off the taste of smoked salmon. That's what makes it

mystery pudding.

Guys, you're forgetting what's important here. To make fun of Amanda for trying

new things?

No. are spanning together to let Elliot know how we feel.

Hate him.

Double hate him. Hate him times infinity plus one.

Hey, guys, this is my friend Elliot. Elliot, this is Michael, Amanda, Wilder,

and Noah.

Michael, I love your shirt. It screams star, man of the people.

Amanda, you're more beautiful than you wrote on your Buzz profile.

Wilder, I saw your trampoline video on GleeTube.

Gave it five stars.

Noah, how about one of those funny quips you're famous for?

What am I, a trained monkey?

Brilliant. Well done, mate.

Well, we better get going.

Elliot's dad is taking us out for dinner.

Right.

Love him.

Double love him.

Love him times infinity plus one.

Why don't you guys just go to the Eiffel Tower and kiss now?

I have great news. I know. Rebecca's British friend loves my shirt.

Cool. Reclusive actor Colin Collins has agreed to do an interview with Buzz

Magazine. But he hasn't given an interview in four years, and even then

one question. Can I get an interview? No.

I know. All we need is for him to prove you as the interviewer, and it's a go.

DJ, as a professional, how does one act when writing such a big name?

Normally, one would immediately start his research, make sure he has a few

contacts. I got it. I got it. Who got it? I got it. I got it.

Or immediately break into dance.

Oh, my gosh.

Just because I got it.

Just because I got it.

Got it. Sometimes I get a comment early to help me create my own diss,

especially since I, you know.

Pureed my heart in a blend of mistrust and then sautéed it over a flame of

bitter resentment.

I'm using cooking words where broken heart words would normally be.

I'm glad to see you've moved on and found a new hobby.

Now, the thing about culinary creation is to trust your instincts and put

together what seems to fit.

Okay, that sounds easy enough.

Syrup?

Vinegar?

It's no use. I'm just no good at putting things together.

Sure you are.

Now, how'd you put together that outfit?

That's all I saw. Easy.

I needed a pink apron to pick up the print on my scarf.

Um, the black belt goes with my shoes, and this purse actually goes with my

shirt. Obvious.

And that's how you cook.

You don't think, you just do. Try again.

In a bowl, mush together the yellow butter and brown sugar.

Take this fiery thing and stir in the eggs and mush bananas.

Put it in a pan and you get banana bread. Bake and then eat.

Amanda, Amanda, Amanda.

What? What did I do wrong?

Nothing. Congratulations, you baked your first dish.

Please. I just did something at my age that stepmother hasn't even done. And

she's old.

So, have a good time last night?

It was okay.

Just a regular Wednesday night, really.

You don't have to lie, R.

It was so much fun.

Elliot's dad took us to this Ethiopian restaurant called Gojo Mojo. When dinner

was served, I asked for utensils, but it turns out you eat Ethiopian food with

your hands. It was so embarrassing.

So, what did you do?

First, I ate dinner with a fork the way you're supposed to.

Then I watched Pizza Patrol with the sound off and did all the voices. It was

very romantic evening. I lit a candle.

Noah, it's not like that.

Elliot and I are just friends.

Oh, yeah. Friends give friends roses all the time. I just did it with Wilder

last week.

You did give Wilder roses last week. He was going through a rough patch.

Oh, dear.

I have been waiting for this moment all day.

That's sad.

But I'll take it.

Oh, man.

Man, oh, man.

That's good. That's the best thing I've ever tasted. I would hate to follow

this.

Amanda, you're up.

Can't be worse than that toxic waste you made yesterday.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, I knew I should have made Daddy's food taster sample at first.

That, Amanda, was the best thing I've ever tasted. I thought mine was the best

thing you ever tasted.

Well, welcome to second place.

This was like an angel tickled my tongue with a sprinkling of love.

Then why'd you push it away?

Because when this delectable delight hit my stomach for the first time, I didn't

want it to be in some classroom.

I wanted it to be special.

Congratulations, Amanda.

You are now representing Ernie Coombs at the Student Gourmet Challenge.

Amanda's going to the gourmet challenge.

Amanda's going to the gourmet challenge.

Amanda's going to the gourmet challenge?

Curse me and my willingness to help others.

Yes, I understand.

Thank you.

DJ, I am so excited. I was up all night researching for my Colin Collins

interview.

Not all night.

There was those eight hours I slept.

I also watched So You Think You Can Sell, but between that, peer research.

Michael, I have some bad news.

Yeah, Sonya got eliminated.

Nobody thought she could sew.

Colin Collins didn't approve of you.

He wants somebody older.

Gasp! What old mule is taking my place?

I'm going to do it.

Double gasp.

Michael, I'm sorry, but this interview is too important to miss.

Now I know how Sonia felt when Gloria unstitched her French seam.

And he bought DJ a box of these chocolates that you can only get in

Do you see me running to England buying his friend's things you can only get

here, like snowshoes and moose burgers? No, because I play fair.

And I'm broke and have no place to stay in England.

Plus, I have school.

You know what? I can't wait till he's gone. Who's with me?

Wait.

You don't hate him?

How can you not hate him?

Well, he did find me designer oven mitts.

He's teaching me how to speak British.

Did you know that a torch is a flashlight, a lift is an elevator, and

underwear?

He also gives the best massages.

Hey, hey, Elliot.

has the most amazing news he's going home we'll stop bothering everyone oh

please becky it's not the most amazing news my father got us an advanced copy

the movie manitoba smith and the fiefdom of the lucent noggin i've rented out a

theater and i'm getting it catered by the best pizza place wait that movie

going to be released for two months well maybe it is the greatest news aren't

you forgetting something oh no tomorrow night's game night at your house

Oh, I'm sorry, Noah. I didn't mean to interfere. I didn't know.

Don't worry, buddy. I got your back.

You and me.

Friday game night. We'll make it happen.

No big deal.

I can cancel game night if that's what you guys want.

Woo -wee!

Manitoba Smith, here I come!

Are you sure?

Thanks, Noah.

Yep. No big deal at all.

You better leave.

I have to do some work before the movie or DJ will blow a gasket.

All right, but first I have some brilliant news to tell you.

Ethiopia's now using forks and knives?

Yeah, a whole country's changing its culture just so you won't feel

My dad's going to be here more often than planned, and he said as long as I

up with my schooling, I can come.

That is great news.

And for those times that I'm not here, I got you this.

My picture's inside, so it'll be like I'm always in your heart.

You, not on my watch. You, more typey -typey.

Fine, Becky.

Oh, this is the magical place where gladiators come to cook it out.

I've always dreamed of culinary combat.

And now the dream is mine.

Today, the student gourmet challenge. Tomorrow, my own cookbook.

Fire the help and get in the kitchen.

Olive oil, basil, salads, poppy seeds, paprika.

Wow, this is some advanced stuff.

I only started using paprika this year.

What can I say?

I'm a natural.

I'm going to call Rachel Ray and tell her there's a new sheriff in town.

Can I watch my stuff?

Sure, why couldn't I watch your stuff? I'm a great stuff watcher.

Goodbye, poppy seeds.

Hello, exploding food pellets.

Soon as someone puts a fork in it, it's done.

Kaboom!

I'm a bad person.

On behalf of Team Buzz, I want to thank you for this interview.

Enough of the small talk.

Okay.

After you break up with Devon Connell, you retreated to a stone cabin in

Ireland. Wrong. It was Scotland, and it was a castle.

Shame, DJ, shame.

Michael, now is not the time.

Look how upset Mr. Collins is.

Fine. But the idea of retreating to an Irish cabin is ridiculous.

Sorry about that. Moving on.

On the set of your movie, Blunt, you got into a screaming match with director

Sven Salming. The movie was perfect enough.

The director was Robert Savard, and they wrestled Greco -Roman style.

You go away now.

I'll go.

You still better tip.

He's a good kid, really.

Oh, speaking of kids, when you were a boy, your father was a town baker. What?

Town baker? He was the town mayor.

Where'd you do your research? The Academy of Wild Guesses?

What, are there three of you? Okay, I can't take this anymore. He obviously

knows me.

Why don't we just let the kid interview me already?

In 1998, you met your first girlfriend, Cynthia Johnson.

You said...

You know there's going to be pizza at the movie tonight.

Not going. Not a fan of the whole Manitoba Smith series.

Really? Because your bedroom wallpaper is Manitoba Smith.

Yeah, that was already there before we bought the house.

Heart -shaped locket.

Elliot, I thought you two were just friends.

We are.

Really?

Because friends don't give friends heart -shaped things are.

I know this because I gave you a heart -shaped guitar pick when we were more

than friends.

And friends don't fly over from England just so they could see someone more

often.

Fine, so maybe we are more than friends.

But you're the one who broke up with me so you can kiss some random girl.

Or girls, we don't know.

Looker, as a friend, let me tell you this.

He's a fake, okay? Guys my age don't act like he does, all polite and

interested.

No, they act like you, all unapologetic and aloof.

So maybe that's why I'm going out with Elliot tonight and not you.

Mom. Hey.

Listen, could you put out my Manitoba Smith PJs?

I'm kind of having a bad day.

Look at the way that judge smiled over that dish. What is that, Cape Breton

butter tart?

Ugh, amateurs.

Amanda Pierce. Who knew she'd turn into a cooking snob?

Thanks, Mr.

Shepard, but it's like a friend once told me. The thing about culinary

creation... Culinary?

...is to trust your instincts and put together what seems to fit. And Wilder

helped me trust mine.

I cannot wait to taste this.

I hear it's a food explosion in your mouth.

I never meant to hurt you, Amanda.

The perfect amount of paprika.

I didn't mean to scare you, mate.

We're scared, and we do that all the time over here. It's called dancing.

Although I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention it.

Yeah, consider it done.

I just came up to see if I could convince you to come to the movie. You

won't be a proper evening without you.

I'm on to you, you know.

What, my evil plan to ensure you have a great evening?

You think if you act nice to me, I'll like you.

Well, I don't know how it works on this side of the pond, but back home, that's

usually how it goes.

That means a lot coming from a country that drives on the wrong side of the

road. Does everything you say have to be a joke? No, just the funny things.

Well, it's a bit of a rubbish attitude, Noah, and it's only a defense mechanism.

You're always so sarcastic.

No. It started off as a way to get attention.

Let me guess, middle child.

Yes!

I tried being polite, but nobody noticed. And so you started being a wise

For the first time, my parents paid attention to what I said.

Well, I reckon that works at the dinner table, but it's not working with Becky.

So if you truly fancy her, you might try being a little nice.

Why are you telling me this?

Maybe it's because I enjoy the competition. Or maybe it's because I see

boy just trying to get his mom and dad's attention.

And I want to be his friend.

And he wants to be your friend, too.

Oh, somebody's tense.

Hey, I am not that tense.

Ooh.

You are good.

Boy, that was embarrassing. Thank goodness we're past it. Water under the

bridge, looking back at it in the rear view mirror, letting bygones be bygones.

I just want you to know we're done.

As friends or as friends of potential.

We're done.

Amanda, wait.

Food has always been my thing.

No matter what happened or where we were in our relationship, you could always

rely on me to make you something to eat.

You don't care about crop circles, so if you didn't need me for food, you

wouldn't need me for anything.

Look, if you needed a way of saying we're getting closer to being friends

potential, you didn't need to sabotage my dish.

You gotta admit, the blowing up stuff was pretty cool.

Okay, but next time, why don't you just ask me to a movie?

It's not usually how I roll, but for you, I'll try it.

Wanna go see Manitoba Smith and the Fiefdom of the Lucid Noggin with me?

I'd love to.

Can you believe how long Colin Collins talked?

That has to be as long as interview ever.

Yeah, nine minutes.

But if you round it up, it was an hour.

Why don't you give me the tape and head to your movie? I'll write up the story

for you. In a sec.

I just want to reflect on how amazing I was.

Yep, pretty amazing.

Well, except for when he asked about his first girlfriend. Her name was Cynthia

Johnstone, not Johnson.

Oh, yeah, good catch.

Wait, if you knew that, why'd you get everything else wrong?

Oh, you purposely look bad in front of Colin Collins to get me the interview.

No one gets away with saying my journals aren't good enough. I don't care how

many Collins they have in their name.

DJ, you're not only a great editor, but you're an even better friend.

I don't know how to thank you.

How about we just leave it at a hug?

Yeah. Oh, I got to get to Manitoba Swift and the feet don't loosen noggin.

Later.

How was the movie?

It was okay.

So -so, really.

It was amazing, and I'm not even a fan of the genre.

I'm glad. It sounded like fun.

And? And what?

And isn't this the point where you make fun of Elliot?

Elliot's a nice guy.

I like him.

You deserve to be with someone who knows how to treat you.

I do.

The thing is, I don't know who that is yet.

I told Elliot not to come over quite yet.

The only thing I'm looking for in a boy right now is a friend.

Noah, can you give me a hand? I got chocolate in my disk drive.

You see, this is why we can't have nice things.

I take the lift to my flat.

The barrister went to the loo.

I'll have some bangers and mash.