All language subtitles for the_latest_buzz_s03e02_the_hot_or_not_issue

Okay, let's hear your journals. What
have you got for me today?

I'd like to report on our school's
upcoming hot list.

Ernie Coombs High, top 20 honeys. How's
that your beat?

Um, insider's perspective?

She's been number one on every list
since kindergarten.

I could predict 2 -10 if you want. I
don't even read 11 -20.

Once you hit the double digits, it's too
hard to pretend I care.

CJ, this is my story.

Every year, the school's so -called
elite write this list.

Why should one group decide who's hot?
They don't decide who's hot. They just

report it. I'll rip that list apart.

Leave it helpless and gasping on the
floor.

Sounds like Shepard in my Pilates
classes.

I love it. Store's yours.

Yes!

How come there's no hot list for dudes?

It's not much of a list if I'm the only
one on it.

Yeah, according to the list your mom
wrote.

Watching the time pass, can't wait to
get out and hang out with my friends,

out what's new, don't crash me on who,
and is that really true?

It's a whole new scene, in the pages of
my magazine.

The game is fun, I wanna know what is
not fun.

It's what's in and what's out, I'm gonna
find out what everyone's talking about.

How many millions?

Not enough to take the pain away.

Daddy's assistant told me how much money
I'll have by the time I'm 40.

It just made me realize that one day
I'll be 40.

Is that upset that Rebecca's covering
the hot list?

Of course not.

You've got your name at the top. top of
the list. You don't need it at the

bottom of the article.

Ever since Wilder blew up at me, I don't
know how to be happy.

I know I should have gone to Mexico with
him for the summer. I know, but when he

said I crushed his heart, it was
horrible.

Boo -hoo, and who cares about you?

How about killing an entire Hollywood
franchise just by opening your mouth?

Ever spend a summer doing that?

No, that's your specialty.

Justice Casserole 2 Pass Assault is
going straight to DVD. And its special

feature? Or how to delete and record
over it.

If you're not going to sympathize,
there's only one thing to do.

Laugh at other people's misery?

Try that. Wasn't ha -ha funny.

Like it's my fault DJ did her hair on
the bus.

Well, what then?

You and I will throw the pity party of
all pity parties.

It'll be dark, dank, and depressing, and
nobody will have one second of fun. I'm

in. Sounds just like Rebecca's last
birthday party.

Or the premiere of Justice Castle 2.

No matter how much I ask, no one would
pass themselves.

Buffalo border Crispin Lipscomb is a
hero in the halfpipe. He makes you

that humans can fly.

Actually, I believe humans can fly.

They just don't want it bad enough.

Hold on, Cher. Wally needs peace and
quiet, so zip it.

This chair's too hard for the legs on my
tush.

Too soft.

Oh, this chair is just right.

Why do I suddenly crave porridge?

Gonna eat you up, oh yes I am.

With a side of cheese and some crispy
ham.

For some lettuce, for some rough edge.

Rough edge!

Dude, could you not?

It's not my fault. It's the chair. Well,
the chair wasn't making any trouble

until you got here.

You stole my chair.

What?

Stole your chair?

Don't put air quotes around a chair.
That is a chair.

Exactly. It is a chair. It is not your
chair. It is Buzz's chair. I work at

Buzz, so I'm using it.

Wilder, this is the most annoying thing
you've ever done. No.

This is the...

I stand corrected.

Walking down the hall.

It's true. Girls do let themselves go
when they're heartbroken.

Sarcasm and insults. We really are just
friends now.

Now go before anyone sees us together.

Wait. You're embarrassed to be seen with
me?

I'm going undercover to get the truth
about this hot list.

My name is Myrtle Bukowski, crusader of
accuracy and destroyer of unfairness.

Only you can create a character nerdier
than Rebecca Harper.

Ow!

What'd you do that for?

Don't blame me. Blame Myrtle Bukowski.
She has a short fuse and clogs up fury.

Can you proof these non -invites for the
pity party?

Dear person who's cooler than we are,
since you've never been caught dead with

us, please don't bother showing up.

Amanda and Michael send their regrets.

It's about everything they've ever done.

Aesthetic.

Perfect! Now, here's how we're going to
cap off the night. We'll destroy all the

mementos from our summer of failure.

I'll take Walter's kiss coupons, a
little pink bonking stick, and nosy

on napkins.

I hope there's a big enough box for all
my fame.

Okay, I'll take movie posters, the
script, and this sweater.

Is that what you wore in the movie?

No, but the sleeves are a little long
and the color doesn't match my eyes.

Fine. We'll each put our stuff in a box
and give the boxes to Daddy's assistant.

He'll put them in an old building
Daddy's having demolished.

Dlammo! Our past will be blown to
smithereens! Yes!

We wrecked our summer! We wrecked our
summer!

We wrecked our summer.

We wrecked our summer.

This party can't come soon enough.

Gotta be kidding me. I sure do get a new
perspective from this level.

Did you know our teachers wear cheap
belts?

You brought my chair to school.

I like to think it brought me, although
I did all the work.

Either way, there's nothing getting me
out of this comfy cheek embrace.

Yay!

I see.

Look! Isn't that Tony Hawk handing out
chili dogs?

What? Where?

Good to see you again, pal.

Noah Jackson?

Sorry, sir, you're not on the list.

Are you sure?

You're sure. Okay.

That wasn't Tony Hawk handing out chili
dogs.

That was nobody handing out nothing.

It's like you said that just to get me
out of the chair.

Thank goodness for the bouncer.

Wilder?

Right this place, sir. Your seat is
ready.

We are not done here, Wilder. Sir, I'm
going to have to ask you to step back.

Yeah, sure. Don't eat me.

So how'd the day go? Dig up any dirt on
the hot list?

It was amazing.

Everyone spilled their guts to Myrtle
Bukowski, listener of laments and

protector of feelings.

Myrtle who?

Oh, you have something on your...

I feel like they don't exist.

Pretty girl said they obsessed over it.
That's great. I think you might... They

post this tomorrow morning, and I'll be
there to catch these guys. Excellent.

There's just one thing... But guys allow
people to be honest.

Little do they know, they're talking to
Rebecca.

Sorry,

hon. People probably knew who they were
talking to.

Well, there's heart in a box.

If he were here right now, he'd probably
clutch his little chest and ask for it

back. Stop it.

This is no time for weakness.

You're right.

It's all about the pity.

Strong, strong pity.

What's tomorrow?

How will we know when the building's
about to blow?

Daddy's assistant is going to text me.
Then we'll watch the explosion and

until our heads can touch.

You're going to be more pathetic than
the day I tried to bring back the no

-shirt -and -leather vest look.

Too bad I was on class picture day and
you scarred the photographer for life.

Just make sure your box is ready for
five. See you tomorrow.

See you.

Name dropping Michael Davies.

Oh.

Well, if it isn't the agent to the has
-beens.

What? A hit?

Where?

I always said Egyptians are smarter than
the rest of us.

Yes, I did say that.

Anyway, this is incredible.

I'm famous.

I'm famous. I'm famous. I'm famous.

I'm famous in Egypt. I'm famous.

Clearly, I can't destroy any of these
items now.

The Egyptians would be devastated.

I mean, what would be left to be put in
my pyramid?

Coaster, obvious keeper.

The script?

Eh, it'd be worth something someday.
Like today.

Sweater?

Now that I'm a star, I can buy colored
contacts to match.

Oh, I can't destroy any of this.

I can't give the driver an empty box.

Ah.

Ah. Rebecca's heart. candy.

I'll just say Wilder ate it.

I'm famous!

Oh, 800 hours. About to destroy the
snobbiest list in school.

Unable to deny urge to talk to self.

And regretting choice to wear open -toed
shoes.

Presently at the hot list posting zone.

I do love a good stakeout.

Today, I'm proud of an adult recycling
bin, but tomorrow, I could run a poll,

sir.

And the nominees for excellent in
journalism are...

I

couldn't possibly accept

another poll.

Eight can't even count to eight.

Number two, how do you sleep at night?

Oh, and look at number four.

Rebecca.

What did everybody say?

Um, not much. There were complications.

What sort of complications?

An early morning fire drill, a locker
inspection, all my library books were

Let's jibber -jabber, girl. Just give me
the list. I'm afraid that's still

confidential information.

What are you talking about? It's all
over the school.

Now, how are we going to make sure that
this is the last list ever written?

Who's nowhere near as hot as me or even
hottie number three? Pick your jaws up

off the floor. It's this girl, our new
number four.

Rebecca made the list.

Thanks a lot.

Don't diminish my talents. I'm already
down on myself as it is.

There you are indeed.

Number four.

Weird, huh?

Just remember, Rebecca Harper may have
made the list, but a lot of Myrna

Bukowskis didn't.

I like it when your eyes go all googly
for a new pair of shoes.

Wilder, now you're so angry at me.

My bunking's sick.

But I didn't bunk a single nail in
Mexico.

It clearly ruined his life.

Wilder's kiss coupon.

It is not transferable.

That cute little monkey must be
miserable without me.

I like monkeys. I don't want to give
mine up.

Rebecca's going to be decorating her
ducky -packy knick -knack.

Foiled again, Jackson.

Are you going to take that sitting down?
Ha ha!

Oh, I sense a chafe coming on. Get back
here, you thief!

I don't know.

Dude, why'd you stop?

I think you were gaining on me. How can
I not be? None of those wheels go in the

same direction.

Look, I want that chair back, Wilder. I
need it.

Why would anyone need a chair that
badly?

Picture it.

A young boy, clever, but not book smart.

Cute, but not precious.

Thin, but not scrawny. Nobody can
picture all those things.

Picture me in first grade.

Oh, okay.

Done. It was my first day at a new
school, and I was late. And by the time

there, all the chairs had been taken.

Even the little one in the back with the
splinter sticking out of it. Why did

every class have one of those? They're
very dangerous.

I know.

I had to stand alone and ashamed for an
entire month before the janitor returned

from vacation and delivered an extra
chair. No!

Oh, and how the children laughed.

Chairless Charlie, they'd say.

Chairless Charlie.

I didn't even know your name. They were
using alliteration. It was corporate.

They could have called you No Chair
Noah. Okay, they weren't that clever.

Anyway. Now the loss of any chair breaks
my heart. I couldn't even go to parties

as a kid. Musical chairs, more like
musical tears.

It's horrible.

Horrible.

Take this chair, Noah.

I don't want it. I never wanted it.

You better have wanted it. I totally
did. I just said that.

It's not in the direction I thought we
were going.

I don't think this is right for Bud.

The hot list is hot. Killing the story
because we're suddenly pro -list would

so damaging to school spirit.

The dropout rate would rage out of
control.

That's a bit of a stretch.

The hot list is an important and highly
anticipated part of the school year.

To the 20 people who are on it.

Still number one. 11 years running.

Rebecca, to most people, this list is
hurtful. It makes them feel like they'll

never measure up. Like no matter what
they do, if they're not pretty, they

don't count.

Wait.

You never made the list, did you?

I made the dance list.

I made the perfect attendance list. I
made a to -do list. I also made Lisa

Fong's girl, so we'll go to the prom
alone list.

So I never made the stupid hot list.

That's not the point.

Maybe it is.

Maybe you want me to write a negative
article because you had a negative

experience.

I thought we were supposed to write what
we truly believed.

You are.

Then? Then ask yourself.

Do you truly believe the hot list is a
good idea?

Or are you just excited because you're
on it?

Life was so much simpler when I had a
unibrow.

It only took me ten steam cleanies to
get rid of Wowser's cheek grooves.

But it was worth it.

I know I lied to get you back, but he
bought it. I'm just that good.

I'll never let you out of my sight
again. Let's go home.

Daddy was worried sick.

What?

That is my chair from my rumpus room at
home.

Rumpus room is a good name for it. Holds
my rump like a dream.

But what?

You? So many questions, and the answer
is yes.

I am awesome.

You're my best bro -bro, but brothers
never lie. And you lied about the

story. I guess I shouldn't have. Wait,
what?

Janitors do not get a month off. I know
Jeb, our school's janitor, and he works

like a dog.

Although he'll never let me pet him.

Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I've got
some bum grooves to form.

We sent out 200 invitations and not one
person showed up. This is the best pity

party ever.

Let's pop some balloons and mourn what
might have been. Cool, I even brought my

own pity popping pin.

It's daddy's assistant.

Stop your popping because the billing's
about to blow up in T -minus 60 seconds.

This is a big moment.

It is.

Let's bid farewell to the foul sense of
yesterday and embrace the fresh new

sense of tomorrow.

Sorry, I should have used the less
stinky image.

No, it's not that. It's just, did you by
any chance take anything out of the

box? What?

No, we had a deal.

OMG,

I took it all out. Me too.

My agents and my chipmunk boys fans all
over the world. Really?

Okay, a few fans in one faraway country,
but they love me. Did you put anything

in the box?

Rebecca's candy ball.

Rebecca's candy ball!

You are as shallow, cowardly, and
superficial as I am.

You know, this pity party's only missing
one thing.

Really? What's that?

Well, that thing Wilder was supposed to
give you.

Something you might want from an action
star famous in one faraway country.

Feeling a lot of self -pity right now.

Good party.

Good party.

Well... I just used the hot list as a
starting point.

Then moved on to a bigger story.

People who never made any list, but
moved on to glory.

I got that.

Former supermodel Cindy Crawford lost a
local beauty pageant.

J .K. Rowling was rejected by countless
publishers.

Justin Morneau was the third string
goalie on his hockey team.

And a certain award -winning magazine
editor was once voted most likely to go

prom alone.

Take that, Lisa Fong.

Yes. You and so many others defied the
odds and did great things.

And that's what I wanted to write about.

The anti -list.

I love it, Rebecca.

You do?

Yay!

It's flattering to be on a hot list, but
I promise you.

It will not be my finest achievement.

Let me guess. You have another
undercover story planned?

Yep. This time I'm Babs Belvedere. Moral
compass, consumer advocate, and all

-around nice gal. Babs squints, burps,
and walks like this.

And she also has a real sweet tooth.

Hey! Who stole my candy?

Let me buy Babs a smoothie.

Okay. But just so you know, Babs is
lactose intolerant.

Did you know this baby's got three
positions?

Relaxed, sleepy, and hibernate.

Since it's my chair and I program those
positions?

Yeah, I know.

But this chair's also good.

Sure, as long as you don't mind going
analog. That chair doesn't even get good

reception.

Get back here, Wilder.

Chairless Charlie, chairless Charlie.

The chair!

Good for me. I am comfortable.