Original subtitles

What are you watching? Another delightful video on GleeTube. In this

man's getting chased by an angry pig.

It's hard to tell who's doing the squealing.

Guess what?

I know the dude who did the water -skiing squirrel video.

I love that one.

Although, I was more impressed he was able to get the squirrel into the

trunk.

Want to know the best part?

When Gross found out he posted the video, he got so many dates.

He had to hire an assistant to keep track of all them.

Who he then dated!

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

The sandwich needs more mustard?

No, no, no, no. We'll make our own GleeTube video to become popular with

girls. I like your idea way better.

Just one question, though.

Where are we going to find an angry pig?

I can't wait to get out and hang out with my friends.

Find out what's new. Who's blushing on who.

And who's that from the zoo.

It's a whole new thing.

Supermodel Karina said I could interview her at her new modeling school.

Karina, the supermodel forced to take anger management because she threw a

smoothie at her agent?

He had it coming. He was taking 15 % off everything that poor, misunderstood

soul made.

How is Karina poor, misunderstood, or a soul?

Modeling is a brutal profession.

You can't blame someone if they occasionally snap and throw a beverage

-model's face.

Give me a break. Anyone could be a model.

Hey, kiddo.

Great pitch.

You going undercover at Karina's modeling school, our readers will

love it.

That wasn't me pitching.

That wasn't me catching.

Dude, I got our video idea. For the last time, Wilder, a cat flushing a toilet

repeatedly is hilarious.

You flushing a toilet repeatedly is just necessary.

Thinking is hard.

Let's ask Michael. Sure.

I just hope he doesn't go all over the top on us. It's a GleeTube video. How

could he be?

GleeTube video, you say?

I'll write it, but only if I can direct it.

No, wait.

I can't deny the world this beautiful face.

I'm a star!

That bad.

I'll also want an entourage, and someone get me some chocolate -covered peanuts!

DJ, could I talk to you?

Beauty is truth.

Truth beauty.

Um, is it 1867 in here?

No, it's for my romantic poetry class that I'm taking in my school.

So, what's up?

It's this modeling assignment.

I'm not going to do it, and nothing you can say can make me change my mind.

I see.

People read me because they want to see how I cover the struggles of real teens.

That, and because I'm beside the horoscope page.

I just don't think being a model is something my readers care about. I guess

you're right.

You're a great girl, Rebecca, but you on a runway?

I'm getting nervous to think about it.

Everybody clear the deck! Here comes Rebecca!

Whoa! That wouldn't happen.

Anyone could model, especially me, and I'm going to prove it, and you can't

me.

You planned that, didn't you?

Dick, you're birth -like -ology.

Welcome to Romantic Poetry.

I'm Marianne Ogilvie.

I have a master's in English, and I'm the author of Poetry, Love, and Romance

for Peabrain.

Let's introduce ourselves.

I'll start.

Hi, my name is Diane Jeffries. You can call me DJ.

I took this course because I am a big fan of romantic literature, and I

it would be a nice way to meet new people.

Knockity -knock -knock -knock -knock.

Hi, sorry I'm late. I ended up in hypnotism 101 by accident. Trust me, it

doesn't work.

DJ?

What are you doing here?

Suddenly wallowing in regret.

has requested you make no eye contact.

I now present to you, the one, the only, but still under doctor evaluation,

Karina!

Welcome to my class.

A class so intense, some of you have already failed.

Oh, putting them on notice?

You are now on notice. Makes it official.

I can see someone has no business being here in the first place.

Oh, dear.

Is it a bad sign that Michael hasn't told us his video idea yet?

Quiet on set!

No, it's a bad sign. He's dressed like a gigantic sheriff's badge.

This video is about a star.

A star named Michael Davies.

I will play me.

I'm still hoping that Denzel will play the future me.

Noah, you will play obstacles that have stood in my way.

Wilder, you will play my older sister, Maddie.

Your sister?

It's a role of a lifetime.

Our story begins on March 14th, 14 years ago.

Though not due for another week, Michael Theodore Davies could not wait to make

his real debut.

Guys!

Guys! That doesn't happen till act two!

Personally, I'm not a big fan of the poem an ode to a Grecian earned.

What's a Grecian earned?

About $20 a day.

Looks like we have a firecracker here, ladies.

That's right. Better handle me with care.

What? I'm on to you, Shepard.

I know that you're only taking this class to meet women.

I have never been so insulted in my entire life.

I'm also here for the bagel chips.

Mmm, bagel -y.

Sorry to break it to you, Shepard, but you're wasting your time with this class

and these women.

Oh, really?

I will bet you one dinner that not only will I get a better grade than you, I'll

also get a date with the most beautiful woman in class.

You're on!

But I'm warning you that I'm ordering steak and lobster. And I'm a big tipper.

You see, Amanda, anger management

made me realize that you cannot go ballistic because someone forgets super

supermodel.

That's really nice, but I thought we could talk about modeling or fashion or

anything else.

Support? No support.

You can't model.

I can too.

Really? Because people are calling you Rebecca the Wrecker.

What? Who?

When? What people?

So for only me, but it's catching on.

Yesterday was an off night.

I will be back bigger and better than before.

Tonight, I, Rebecca Harper, will conquer the...

Look, Walder, it's Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

How I wonder what you are.

Not funny. You guys walking out was the worst thing that ever happened to me.

I doubt that very much. Really?

Because the zipper got stuck on my costume and I had to wear it home on the

subway.

Still not the worst thing that's ever happened to you. I got stuck in the

turnstile and I had to call the Jaws of Life to get me out.

Still not the worst thing. I made the 11 o 'clock news segment called The Worst

Thing That Could Ever Happen to Anyone Ever.

I stand corrected.

Maybe my glee tube idea would cheer you up. Check it.

Wearing nothing but a helmet cape and bathing suit, I will skateboard down

Canyon Road until I hit a ramp. I will rocket across the sky and sail through a

ring of fire, skating to a stop in front of you guys.

I will then chuckle Jameson.

Wilder, if you can't think of a video idea, just say so.

Change sauce.

Hey, I was serious about the cake.

Well, if it isn't my favorite goody -goody.

And if it isn't my favorite class clown.

Did you read last night's assignment?

Of course I did.

As did I, as did I.

Really? What was the theme of the poem then?

Easy. The theme of the poem is, uh...

This is going to be the easiest bet I'll ever win. Whatever. You probably didn't

read it either.

The theme of the moon and the maiden is trying to capture the unattainable.

In this case, the poet believes that he has a better chance of catching the moon

than he does the love of a maiden.

Exactly.

Welcome back.

Tonight, we're going to study my favorite poem, The Moon and the Maiden.

Andrew, how did you find this poem?

I asked the lady at the bookstore and she found it for me.

Cute, as usual.

But what about the theme? What do you think it is?

The theme of The Moon and the Maiden is

capturing that which is unattainable.

The poet feels that it would be easier to catch the moon than the love of a

maiden.

Wow. Bravo, Andrew.

Now that is the way into a woman's heart.

It is? Who knew?

Tonight, we will work on the fast change.

A model must be able to change her clothes in flash.

Yes!

All without doing her makeup.

No?

You!

I saved the worst for first.

So I just go behind...

He was a reporter, not a personal assistant.

Time!

Yuck.

In my country, this is how we describe the boogeyman.

Too much rude?

That's a really good idea.

Fantastic, Noah.

But how are we going to shrink ourselves to fit inside that box?

I have a bigger problem.

Where are we?

It's just Noah.

Who do you think is going to run the spotlight?

I'm not your roadie. I move hearts, not speakers.

This is your worst idea yet.

And your smallest.

I still have the script for the Michael Davies story.

We could. No!

Didn't have to yell.

Why is this so hard?

We just wanted to make a video so girls would date us. Instead, we came up with

stuff that wasn't even like us at all.

Maybe because making a video of us would be lame.

We may not be that exciting as guys, but there's one thing about us that's

pretty cool.

Are you thinking what I was thinking?

That I wish they had birthday pie instead of birthday cake.

It means we make a video that exploits the one cool thing in our life.

This magazine.

Oh. Then stop doing the, I think what I'm thinking game, because it's really

hard.

Guys, let's get to work.

So, people have started to pull to see how many steps you'll take before you

fall off the runway.

They are?

Who? What people?

Just me, but it turned out to start somewhere.

So, ready to admit defeat?

Yes, Amanda.

You're right. I was wrong.

Modeling is the hardest profession in the world.

Is that what you want me to say? Kind of, but for some reason that wasn't

satisfying.

Hold a thought.

Hello, Karina.

Finally. Let's get working on that interview.

What?

I have no idea where you put the remote.

If the channel changes every time you move your derriere, I suggest you look

under the sofa cushions.

You ready to be a supermodel?

Does this mean you're on my side? That's so cute.

I'm not on your side. I'm just tired of being Karina's personal assistant.

Now, follow me.

Put one foot in front of the other and walk like a horse.

This seems natural.

No, not a horsey. A real horse.

Shoulders back, pelvis forward, look straight ahead, head up.

I can't do this. I'm too much of a geek.

Don't be silly. You're just the right amount.

Everybody feels like a geek sometimes. They just figure out a way to make it

work for them.

Think of geeky as the new hip.

Geeky is the new hip.

I like that.

Geeky is the new hip.

Geeky is the new hip.

Too geeky! Too geeky! Bring down the geek factor.

Bring it way down.

The maiden bid me farewell too soon, and I felt a teardrop fall from the moon.

And the dish ran away with the spoon.

And now, I bid you farewell. I thank everyone for coming. I graded your poem.

Good job.

So, when are you going to make your big move, Shepard?

I already have.

My poem is called, Ode to a Dinner with Me. The guy in the second desk in the

second row.

Subtle. Yeah.

I loved your poem, DJ.

What made you decide to make it the shepherd who was a stray and not the

It just came to me.

Cool, an A.

I beat that.

And you, Andrew, who knew there was such a romantic under that funny exterior?

I don't know how you rhymed piano and mambo, but you did.

I give you an A+. Oh, wow.

That beats an A, doesn't it?

You haven't won anything yet. It was a two -part bet, remember?

Marianne. Did you happen to pick up on the theme of my poem?

I did.

And if you look on the other side of that page, you'll find my boyfriend's

Back Off, Bud, She's Taken.

He's not into rhyming, but he does have a black belt.

Looks like somebody owed me dinner.

Yeah, I guess I do.

Mind if I join you?

Why not? I could use the company.

And I could use a free meal. Yes!

What are you talking about, Shepard? You just lost the bet.

Mm -mm. No, the second part of the bet was that I could get a date with the

beautiful girl in class, and I just did.

I don't know whether I should be charmed or ticked.

I'm thinking steak and lobster, just as an appetizer.

And then for the main course, I'm thinking steak stuffed inside of a

stuffed inside of another lobster, stuffed inside of an even bigger

You know, I really have to finish the interview by tomorrow.

Of course, child.

But Karina's not the right place to give an interview.

Maybe nice nails will make her happy.

Next!

Her? Am I being tortured because of my beauty?

Let's do it!

Remember, don't use the new hip.

I taught her everything she knows.

It must have been a short lesson.

She knows nothing.

That's it.

Just because you're not throwing food at people anymore doesn't mean you're not

still mean.

You've been horrible to Rebecca since day one, and you know it.

Amanda, as much as I appreciate you sticking up for me, now is not the best

time.

Presenting you the Glee 2 premiere of The Boys of Buzz.

We're the Black Fuzz Boys, the boys of buzz. We can't get a date, no one ever

does. So all you ladies gonna be seen. I give us a look, not a thing. I, I, I,

I, I, I.

I'm a Mach K. Porter with a need for speed. With a honey bomb inside, no, I

see. I'll fix it.

100 % virgin wool baby.

Looking for a setup any cousin will do.

Oh, ladies. I look finer than you.

We're the boys and boys. We're lean and we're mean. Try to meet girls through

this video stream.

We're the pit of folks just to hang on your wall. We're the gaming tips so that

you won't fall.

We're the quiz you take to learn how to flirt. We're the gossip you read when

you want the dirt. We're the glossy covers on a new stand.

Your backstage pass to the latest fans.

Don't get a subscription, that's what you do.

And when you like what you see, you want to renew.

That was great. Really cute.

And totally hilarious.

Will it make girls want to date us?

Not in this lifetime.

But boys who desperately want girlfriends will love it.

Want to watch it again?

Yeah.

We're the pit of postures you hang on your wall. We're the gaming tips so that

you won't fall.

Don't get a subscription, that's what you do.

And when you like what you see, you want to read news. Read news, read news,

read news, read news.

Standing by.