Original subtitles

Oh, Entertainment Wow's on. Welcome to Entertainment Wow, your hot spot for

celebrity gossip. I can't stand that show.

H2O on the down low.

Hollywood's hottest starlet Hayley McKenzie courted controversy today when

was spotted buying a bottle of water. But was she thirsty or dehydrated?

Come on, you call that a new story? More like an old story.

How do they make Judy King's hair do that?

I'm guessing you taste a crane, putty, and a pit crew.

I got two words for that anchor robot.

Make under.

Teen boss?

Yes, this is Michael Davies.

Entertainment wow?

You want me to try for the teen correspondent?

Well, I'd love to.

way to get out.

might be a bit on the talky side.

What do you think about the bright purple duotane?

It's pretty, but I didn't think duotanes still existed.

Can you say retro?

Remember, this is a webcast.

Viewers want to see something. We need movement, action, something flashy and

exciting that will grab viewers and make them watch.

I could do the cry of the loon.

OMG, that is sure to bring in the eyeballs.

You making bird sounds.

Really? Great.

I better practice my vocal warm -up.

FYI, that was sarcasm.

Look, girls, whatever you do, just remember, less talky, more walky.

That's a big ten -four.

Over and out.

Get it? It's a walky -talky. LOL.

Too funny.

You're being sarcastic.

Right?

Do the talking while you're walking, girls.

This hot chocolate?

Good.

Yo, bro -shack, you look sick.

Perfect. That's the look I'm going for.

The whole package looks mad ill.

Cool. Feel my forehead.

That's not my job description.

Come on. I need to make sure it's hot enough in case DJ checks for a fever.

I thought you said I look sick.

Dude, sick as in good.

Sick as in nice threat.

Not sick as in chicken noodle soup.

I'm dead.

Our meeting's in three minutes, and I have nothing to pitch.

I mean, who's going to want to hear another piece on why parents should let

their kids blare loud music?

Not me, that's for sure.

Not helping.

Here's my only tip.

When I'm being followed in a maze, I... Ask yourself what you're doing in a

maze?

Yes. When I get inside my opponent's head and do the opposite of what I think

he's going to do, are you picking up what I'm putting down?

I am, but it's giving me a backache.

Do your article from the parents' point of view. In a teen magazine?

Not likely, Wilder.

But if I ever get lost in a maze, I'll call you.

Yeah, right.

Everyone knows there's no phones allowed in a maze.

Rebecca, Amanda, I cannot wait to see your webcast promo.

Okay, gang, that's it for today.

DJ, aren't you forgetting something?

Right. Noah has a pitch.

What are you doing?

Oh, yeah.

I thought you were sick.

Right, Noah.

What's your story?

Well, I'm the middle child of three.

No, I mean your buzz story.

You do have one, right? Of course I do. DJ, I have a story.

It's an expose. It goes into the dark and dangerous world of kids and their

music.

Again? This time it's different.

Because it's, um...

It's from the parents' point of view.

Noah, that's great.

Well, that's all for today.

Oh, right. How could I forget?

In case you haven't already heard... I'm gonna be famous, y 'all.

Thanks.

You have headshots of yourself?

I will never forget you. What's your name?

Michael, we're all... very excited for you, but there's five other contestants

auditioning for the EWOW position.

Don't let it get to your head.

Later, C -listers.

Oh, yeah.

Feel free to drop my name anytime.

So be sure to check out the Buzz website next month, when we'll be covering the

hottest dance phenomenon.

What are you doing?

Dancing. What does it look like?

A cry for help?

Like your feet hate you?

Like you're allergic to music?

You think I can't dance?

It's not that you can't dance, Rebecca.

It's just that you shouldn't.

I'll be right back.

You're going to go check your dancing in the bathroom mirror, aren't you?

Yes, or are you going to tell me that that's rude, too?

Don't answer that.

Can you believe this?

Me on EWOW.

I'm so overwhelmed.

Is that makeup going to make me look ashy?

You know, they say when opportunity knocks, it's better not to say. I'll be

ready in a second.

All right, Michael, we're ready for you on set.

I'll be ready in a second.

Deep cleansing breath.

All right, Michael Davies. It's time to fulfill the destiny that you were

destined to fulfill.

EWOW spin cycle segment with Michael Davies. Take one.

Action. Good evening. I'm Michael Davies, and welcome to entertainment.

Line. Wow.

Really? I was that good? No, that's your line.

Entertainment. Wow.

Take 12.

Action. And in the nose today.

I mean news.

Get it? I said nose instead of news.

That's going to be on the blooper reel.

Take 33.

Action. Throw the camera.

What? Throw the camera.

Oh, okay.

I should have done the underhand.

Let's see.

Title, title.

Noah knows best?

Nah.

Just say Noah.

Too earnest.

That was great back there, dude.

Yeah, really was.

Who'd have thought that parent idea would have been such a hit? Not me. All

can say is thanks. You're welcome. Goodness, it came to me.

I don't know how I do it.

I do. Noah, I have great news. I just ran your idea by head office, and they

loved it. In fact, They're giving your story four pages.

That's awesome, DJ.

So, Wilder, I'm sorry, but that means your story's being bumped until next

First, he steals my idea.

Then he steals my article?

Good thing I don't have a girlfriend.

Honestly, not so good, kid. What? You tanked up there.

Dropped lines, giggle fits, water bottle to the head.

You told me to throw it. Look, kid, I like you. You got moxie.

But short guy to short guy, even though I am slightly taller.

This is a competitive industry.

If you want to be at the top of your game, you're going to have to work twice

hard and be half as goofy.

I thought it was one step away from being Judy's co -anchor.

Not a chance, kid.

And FYI, when they say the mic's hot, don't ask them for an oven mitt. That

means the mic's on.

I tanked, Rebecca.

Tanked. It was your first day. I know you can do this.

You just have to remind everyone how great you are.

Remind them? I don't even know why they forgot in the first place.

Well, how did you prepare?

And signing headshots doesn't count.

Ben, nothing.

Michael, on -air presenters rehearse before they go on live. You should get

front of a mirror, do some tongue twisters, and memorize your lines.

You're probably right.

What are you doing?

What do you mean?

You're doing your nervous lip -fighting thing.

We've been best friends for a long time, right?

Ever since I cut your hair in kindergarten.

Without asking.

You had a girl mullet. I did you a favor.

Well, since then, we've always been honest with each other.

Even when it would have been way easier to lie.

Okay, then, I'm not quite sure how to ask you this, but I can dance, right?

Oh, no.

It's true?

I can't dance.

Why didn't you tell me this?

Well, it's way easier to lie.

I don't believe it. That's not even real. Come on, nobody dances that bad.

What's so funny?

Rebecca's dancing.

You gotta see it.

She looks like she's being struck by lightning.

Uh -oh. Amanda!

Oh no, you're mad.

Don't be mad, Rebecca. I thought the clip was... Hilarious!

cringeworthy, heartbreaking.

Coming soon to a theater near you.

Come on, Rebecca.

You have to admit, it is pretty funny.

That's why I forwarded it to Noah.

Hey, don't get mad at me.

That's not even my kind of comedy.

That's why I forwarded it to Wilder. Uh -huh, Wilder. And who did you forward it

to? I didn't forward it to anybody.

Thank you. At least one of you has some decency.

I just posted it on GleeTube.

I'm off to bathe.

Sunbathe, that is. So back to Judy in the newsroom.

Cut.

Great job, Mike.

Really? Absolutely.

In fact, looks like you and the Kimberly Watson kid are neck and neck for the

permanent position.

Well, she has no idea what my neck is capable of.

You got one last assignment.

You break a news lead so hot, We'll out -scoop every other entertainment news

show. Not only will I get the scoop, I'll put it in a waffle cone.

Copy that.

If you'll excuse me, I gotta go see if someone's figured out who this geeky

dancing girl on GleeTube is.

See what I'd do for the lead on that story.

If I had a conscience, I'll be kicking right about now.

Do you know why you're here, Wilder?

Do any of us know why we're here, DJ?

Wilder, did you see how well Noah pitched yesterday?

That's the kind of thinking that's going to take Buzz to the next level. It's

fresh. It's bold. It's like he pulled it out of Inspiration Alley.

Yep. Inspiration Alley. You're a good writer, Wilder.

You're the wild man.

It's like you're born to think outside of the box.

Frankly, I'm surprised you didn't think of that idea yourself.

Are you clenching your jaw?

No. This is just my happy -for -north smile. It just happens to look like my I

-can't -believe -he's -getting -away -with -it smile.

This face could not get any worse.

Geeky Dancing Girl is the number one most -watched video on GleeTube. At

my geeky head movements make it hard to identify my face.

How's my best friend in the whole world? Good.

Good. Good.

I've got one final assignment for EWOW.

Cool. What are you going to do?

I

was hoping

to report on you.

You're kidding, right?

Oh, no.

You're not?

Rebecca, revealing the identity of Geeky Dancing Girl would guarantee me the

EWOW gig.

I was hoping that this would be okay with you.

Okay, Michael?

Of course it's not okay.

What did you expect me to say?

That my long -term gain was worth your short -term pain?

You know what?

Do what you want.

Because truth is, I'm not worried.

Yay! I was hoping you were going to say that.

Because this is just like fourth grade all over again.

When you said you were going to show everyone my letter to the Tooth Father

Show and Tell, Truth. Very.

How do you know who visits my house?

But when the time came, you couldn't go through with it, could you?

Remember?

The flop flat?

The stammering?

The rip snort?

It's not a whip snort! I have allergies!

Besides, this town is more at risk.

You're right.

Like our friendship.

Would you say this conversation is on or off the record?

Do you think custard ever gets mad at pudding?

Is there any way I can get out of this conversation?

I mean, we're stealing its basic recipe but never getting any credit.

Well, Wilder, I don't think custard's that sensitive.

I think you're underestimating custard.

Speaking of which, can I have some?

That sounds good. Awesome, too, please.

Oh, so you're stealing that idea, too.

What are you talking about?

Come on, dude. Don't pretend like you don't know.

Okay. Why don't you pretend I don't know and just tell me what you're talking

about? Remember that time you used my idea for your article and then DJ

complimented you and said, Wilder, that's the kind of idea wish you came up

with. Then you just smiled and didn't even give me any credit.

I totally forgot, Wilder. Not a thank you, not a shout out, not even an e

Okay, it split my mind. I didn't do it on purpose. Why is it such a big deal?

Why? Because I'm the one who always gets... No, Wilder, you can't do a story

into bonding downstairs. Or, no, Wilder, you can't mummify a hamster with toilet

paper. The one time I have a good idea, I don't even get any credit for it.

What? I'm mad at you, not the custard.

I don't get why you're... So mad.

Really?

Haven't you ever been embarrassed?

You can't be embarrassed if you don't care what people think. Besides, at

everyone knows your name now.

You don't get it, do you? It's not just this. I'm always the one who gets

teased. Just once, I'd like someone to pull my finger. And that is why you are

punchline.

Excuse me?

There are two kinds of people in this world.

Those that make jokes, and those that are the punchlines of jokes.

And you're a great punchline because you know how to laugh at yourself.

You're right. I am a great punchline.

Exactly. So you dance funny. Big deal.

Nobody's perfect.

Except for maybe me.

Pull my finger.

I wasn't ready.

It's a roundup. It's a roundup.

It's a roundup. We got the latest news on the identity of Geeky Dancing Girl.

Rebecca Harper.

Rebecca Harper.

Rebecca Harper.

This is your big moment, Mike.

They're ready for you on the floor.

Permanent position on EWOW. Here I come.

And action.

Thank you, Judy. And we're live across the country with a breaking story.

Rebecca, I need to talk to you.

Amanda, now really isn't a good time. No, I have to say this.

I wasn't totally honest with you when I said I've never been embarrassed before.

I've just never felt close enough with anyone to share that side of me.

Until now.

Amanda, no, no.

Picture it.

Round 12, semifinals, regional spelling bee.

It's down to me and my arch rival when I realize I really have to use the little

princess room.

But I don't want to miss anything, so I hold it.

You're really going to regret this. The words kept coming.

Recontour. Avoncular.

Pneumonia. But as it turned out, that wasn't the only silent P that day.

Oh, dear.

Before I could say, can I have an alternate pronunciation, I had

myself in front of everyone.

I am so sorry, Amanda.

Please don't tell anyone, okay?

I don't have to.

I'm doing a phone interview.

We're live across the country.

Hello from Victoria.

Hello from Port Hope. Hello from Whippy.

Dude. Dude.

Dude.

Dude. Oh, dude.

Dude.

Dude.

Dude. Dude.

Dude.

What's that, Noah?

You mean to say that the parents POV story was Wilder's idea all along?

Good job, Wilder.

I've been doing this way too long.

You got it.

And only entertainment wild can reveal the true identity of geeky dancing girl

made famous around the world.

And her name is...

Yeah, it really was.

You know, this is one of those times where it would have been better to lie.

What happened to you up there?

Guess my conscience decided to make a rare appearance.

When I stepped in front of the camera, I couldn't go through with the story

knowing how much it would hurt you.

That's okay.

I've accepted my bad dancing, and even though being the laughingstock of the

Internet was hard, being mad at you was a lot harder.

What makes you feel better?

I think my incident on EY was now the most downloaded clip on the internet.

Actually, that does make me feel better.

That would have been another good time to lie.

Well, Rebecca, I made a fool of myself in front of the whole world.

Now I finally know what it feels like to be you.

Yes, you do.

For the first time in my life, I know what it's like to lose.

I mean, really loose.

I don't know how you do it all the time.

Hello?

I guess this is Amanda Pierce.

Focus model for the International Spelling Bee.

What? And this year it's in Hawaii?

What can I say? Y -E -S.