Original subtitles

Dad, that's the fifth time you're trying it.

Maybe you ought to try pacing again.

You got the ring?

I've got the ring, and my fly's ripped up, and I'm not chewing gum.

Who's that?

That's Magda's cousin.

She's a nun.

Oh, God, I hope everything's all right.

More than all right.

Keeping the room cool.

That's the part of my job as best man.

I read about it in one of Mom's books.

You know, there's nobody else I'd rather have up on that altar with me today.

You know that.

Thanks.

Don't worry, Dad.

Mom's only a half hour late.

There's something I should know about?

I don't know. She told me the other day that she had some concerns.

I never thought she wouldn't show up.

Hi, this is Inspector X. Kate, how can you lose a cop?

They have radios.

I mean, the town is a traffic hell. Maybe she's just hung up.

All right, I just spoke to the dispatcher. A limo picked Magda up at

At 10 -10, at the corner of Geary and Powell, she bolted.

Vanished. Disappeared.

She's gone.

Are you going to respect me as much when I'm your wife?

Less.

Definitely less.

You're going to enjoy it as much when it's legal?

Nah.

I think in a couple of weeks we'll be buying single beds.

Or bunk beds.

Or I could just move into Ben's room.

That's it. I'm calling off the wedding. Wait, wait, wait.

Come on, come on.

The sex may not be so exciting in another 40 years.

I'm going to get back on.

You're spoiling me.

First time I saw you, I said to myself, there's a woman that needs spoiling.

Okay.

Hey, would you check on my croissants and don't be gone too long?

What are these, 50 trillion grams of fat?

You know, I wouldn't worry about that too much.

You burned off dangerous amounts of calories last night.

I did?

I did.

Do you know that I have never slept with a cop

before?

Well, I've never slept with an ex -insurance executive turned bar owner.

Yeah, but the cop thing, that's exciting.

Can I talk to you about your gun?

Hey. Lewis, what are you doing here?

Last minute change of plans.

I thought you were on a plane to Lithuania.

I just thought I'd drop by.

At 7 a .m.? Brought breakfast.

Your favorite.

Lox and bagels.

That's so like you.

Lox and bagels aren't my favorite.

Your big deal fell through.

It did not fall through.

I just came up with a better idea.

After we saw each other.

Is there a little girl?

Amanda?

Sweetheart? I can't find the coffee filter.

Hi. Good morning.

Ross Barkham.

You don't have to be afraid to take my hand. They're clean.

We just had a shower.

Who's the sailor?

Gentlemen, this is my friend Ross.

Close friend.

Ross, this is Louis, my ex. Ex -husband and father of a child.

Come on around.

Must be very comfortable with his sexuality.

He can say that again, huh? I wasn't talking to you. Yes, he was.

Hey. Look, pal. We're not pals. Time out.

Both of you. I'm not even playing.

You know, I thought a lot about you last week.

That kiss we had.

Still don't have the coffee filters.

Can't believe you haven't thought about it.

Lewis, you should probably go because it's time for breakfast, huh?

Hey, buddy. I was here long before you. Like 15 years.

Lewis, you should go.

We need to talk.

We will.

What was that for?

I found the coffee filters.

I'm so happy.

What do you mean he's totally booked? I have been a customer for five years,

paid his $250 a cut. This is an emergency.

I don't care. Tell Ernesto he's got to fit me in.

Miss Henning, have Ernesto call you back.

Call me back.

I told the officer.

I never saw him. He came at me from behind, grabbed me by the throat,

hair.

Did he say anything?

All I heard was the scissors.

It wasn't until that maniac was gone that I realized what he'd done to me.

Oh, God.

I have a date tonight.

I like this guy.

He actually liked me.

And I'm sure that he still will, okay? You will go get your hair done. It will

look great.

Just don't be surprised if some other feelings start to show up, okay?

You've been assaulted.

And if you need to talk to someone... I'll be fine. Just let me deal with my

hair.

I don't need to be reminded that I couldn't breathe.

That I thought I was gonna die.

You're alive.

So what if I look like a chipmunk, right?

He called me Alice.

There he is now. There's

a

gauntlet

out there.

Who died?

Dr. Jean Post, the nationally syndicated columnist. I heard of her.

Real advice for real people, right? That's right.

Excuse me, sir, can you get those curtains?

Don't tell me you actually read this stuff.

Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. Oh, right after you check your horoscope?

Point of entry was from the French door.

The alarm was off. The housekeeper said she usually turns it on when she goes to

bed. She was shot in the right temple, close range.

I guess not all of her fans were so adoring.

Anything missing? Check out the rock. Probably wasn't a robbery.

Nice.

Maybe I should start giving out advice.

Really? Who's going to pay you?

I could do it. I have opinions on everything.

Dr. Jean has more than opinions. She had an insight into human behavior.

I got insights.

Here's one.

Probably getting really annoyed with me right now.

Who found the body?

Her assistant, Chip.

Jenny, Justin from Quantico.

Ray, hair bandit, profile, white male, mid -20s to mid -30s. Oh, great. That

narrows things down quite a bit.

Oh, he lived alone, read the room week to week.

What's their take on Alice?

Domineering mother or girlfriend who dumped him.

My money's on Alice Cooper.

Hey, Jen. Rena.

Hey, Meg. What are you doing here?

Come on. You're getting married in two days. I know, but I just cannot sit home

anymore. I'm going crazy, okay? How's the victim?

Ms. Henning is out getting a $250 haircut.

You believe anybody pays that?

Where have you been?

This is her fire, $15 with tip.

So what do we got?

Anything come in? Come on, Mag, really. Go, think about orange blossoms and blue

garters. Ginny, please, this is the third victim. It's important, okay?

or no wedding.

Serious. I had a guy once.

Sold women's shoes.

And then he'd break into their houses and steal them back.

Then he started taking them right off the window. Right on the street.

Just the Manolo Blahnik.

Very funny. Till his last victim, he cut off her feet.

Ran out.

Put out a teletype. See if anyone can come across a guy who's got a thing for

hair. Get the word out to the prostitutes.

I answered the phone, sorted the mail, in charge of everything with the column.

I spent 10 hours a day with that woman for 15 years.

She was a beautiful person.

Mr. Lester, I know how painful this is, but we really do need some help.

Can't wait till tomorrow. I've got a bit of a state. Your boss was just

murdered. We're going to need information now.

When was the last time you saw Dr.

Jean?

Seven.

I left every night at seven.

It's Jean's quiet time.

Last chance to look at the column.

Can you tell us about any enemies she may have had?

You write an advice column for 50 years and see if you don't piss off a few

people.

But that didn't stop Jean when she called.

That Aryan nation and the agglomeration of racist nuts last year. Oh, did we get

letters? Awful, horrible letters.

We'll need to see those.

Pothead.

Ex -con.

We're going to need to see those, too. Anything that you think is relevant.

You know, you may not have always appreciated what she had to say, but she

people think that it was their duty to do the right thing.

I'll get you those letters.

Have you notified her next of kin?

There isn't any.

Dr. Jean was a single lady.

Never married.

Never even came close, she told me.

Mason's number one advisor on love.

And never had one of her own.

Why'd she get to be such an expert, then?

Read the letters.

Find out for yourself.

You don't bother me about people like Dr. Jean.

No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me. They're self -righteous, critical

-it -alls.

It just so happens that Dr.

Jean saved my life once.

What did she tell you? Who to go to the junior prom with?

Yeah.

That's what she told me.

What's this?

Oh, my God. Ginny, this is beautiful.

Look, I know you're not 100 % certain about all this wedding stuff.

Just know I'm here for you, whatever you decide.

And if you decide that Gabe is the one, I would really

love it if you would wear that.

It was my mom's.

And I can't accept this.

Gotta have something borrowed, right?

If I ever get married, I'll just borrow it back.

You okay?

Yeah. All right.

Oh, my turn. More.

Something old.

Something old? Yes.

The Beatles. The White Album. Wow.

Thank you.

And something new.

Oh, Captain.

Whoa.

Ooh. Captain.

Captain. Oh, my goodness.

Yeah. Woo.

Woo.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

There you go.

Something blue.

Thank you, dear.

Ooh.

I love you guys.

Thank you.

Thank you.

So, CD, what are you doing tonight?

I don't know, Nate. What are you doing tonight? Oh, let's see here.

My husband left me and six kids.

Will I ever find love?

After the baby, he won't touch me anymore.

Is anybody out there happy?

Newspapers and the network news waiting for an interview.

That's entertainment tonight.

You guys ready for your 15 minutes?

Boy, safety, huh? Next Nick and Nora, Boris and Natasha.

About no and no.

Bad news.

Hair bandage strikes again.

Where? San Francisco General.

Victims in the ER.

Critical condition.

Cut off more than her hair this time.

A small but sincere apology.

I behaved exactly like a... a man.

You have nothing to apologize for?

Give me my due, Kate. I did my level best to be as rude to him as I could.

I don't know why I'm not usually the jealous type.

Well, you know, when the going gets tough, Lewis gets going.

I don't think so.

You met him for two minutes.

I saw it in two seconds.

When it comes to you this time, this guy is no quitter. Trust me. You're

dreaming.

You were saying?

T .P.? You here?

Where are you?

Ma? Hi.

Where is everybody?

All the kids are at jokes with their cousins.

I'm going to the bedroom. I'm packing.

Tiki, I'm here.

Oh, my God. Look at you. I'm so happy to see you. You look great.

You look beautiful. Aw, thank you.

Did you bring the pictures from the new house? Yeah. I want to see them. Show

them to me.

You look so pretty.

Ay, mija, I promise I'm going to come out and visit you more often. Yeah,

At least for a couple of weeks, you know.

I never get to see you. You're so damn busy being a lawyer.

Tell my boss about it, you know? Tell Bob's boss, by the way. Bob's not

No.

Why? He has to work?

Oh, no, don't tell me that. I'm going to call him. No, Magda, Magda, no, no, no,

no, no. He feels terrible.

He feels so bad already.

Where's Lily?

She'll be here.

She's coming, right?

You want her to be a bridesmaid, no?

Yeah, of course I do. Yeah, I want her to be here, but...

No, no, Chichi.

You know, Lily and I just don't get along.

We just don't.

Magda, don't say that. That is not true.

Mommy, please, I'm having a conversation with Chichi. Don't get involved.

Anyway,

it's not just that thing with Gabe.

This has been going on forever.

I'm tired of it.

Magda. No te recuerdas? When we were kids?

She would follow you around everywhere. She was like your little shadow.

She looks up to you.

She's going to come.

We'll see.

So, boy, Inspector, when's it going to be your date for the wedding?

Why would you think I want to bring somebody to this wedding?

I don't know, Nate. Why wouldn't you? Because they've got rules about these

things. Which would explain why you're such a smashing social success.

No, being a single straight man at a wedding in San Francisco is like being a

human magnet.

Boy, there's another way to look at it. You meet someone at a wedding and your

own may not be that far off. Oh, yeah, well, I'll let them think that.

That's what it takes.

I don't name names. I respect the privacy of my clientele.

Clientele, yeah, well, that's a new one.

This creep cuts hair, Natalia.

Okay, today he cut a woman's throat.

Just missed a major artery if he almost died.

He's not worth protecting.

He said his name was Ken.

Big blonde man.

How old?

Old.

Forty, maybe.

What turned him on?

Brushing my hair.

Paid me fifty an hour.

Great gig.

Then he offered me three hundred, caught it. I tell him, forget about it. No

way.

Never saw him again after that.

All right, well, when we're through, I'm going to get a sketch artist up here

for you to work with, all right? You get me espresso?

Maybe tuna malt?

Yeah, sure thing.

Look, did he ever talk about himself, his friends, where he lived, where he

worked?

Maybe he did something.

He had a little patch on his pocket.

Maybe he was a plumber, electrician.

Guys don't pick me up for the conversation.

And when they do talk, it's like, oh, baby, that's good.

Well, in between all his little sweet nothings, did he ever call you by a

different name?

No.

Yeah.

Always.

Hey.

This is Mr. Bloomberg. He said he was walking his dog the night of Gene's

murder. He saw a cab pull up.

Union cap.

Thanks. Mr. Bloomberg, rush a wait over there. We'll get you a cup of coffee.

For 50 years, she writes this column. She gets yelled at, screamed at,

threatened to get shot, buried alive. Does Dr. Jean ever go back on any of her

advice? Not according to Chip. Wrong.

A retraction.

I found that in her outbox the night she was murdered.

It was intended for release in a future column.

But it's not her paper. It's not her typeface. It's printed on my computer.

Concerned in Sacramento, dear Sacramento, I may have spoken too

advised you to end your relationship.

I think you should reconsider the young man.

Why don't you see what Mr. Bloomberg has to say? I'll try to get Union Cab on

the phone and see where they made the pickup.

Triple word score, 30 points. No, no, no, no. Proper name doesn't count.

Doesn't matter.

It's a beautiful place.

I know who you are.

You're that gorgeous girl that was on the boat to Corfu.

Her hair was longer then.

Oh, that was you?

Mm -hmm.

Well, nice to see you again.

Nice to see you, too.

I think, uh...

Lewis was asleep against your backpack.

Ah, you sure can ruin a beautiful moment.

Well, tell me you have no feelings for this guy and I'll never bring his name

again.

It's too soon for this conversation.

See?

You can't do it.

Oh, yeah?

Watch me.

A driver at Union Cab Company made the pickup at the airport. Some guy in his

20s just in from Sacramento. I just spoke to a concerned in Sacramento.

Her ex -boyfriend just flew in that night. I actually have an address in

Oakland. Let's go.

Okay.

ABC Carding. ABC Surgical Supply.

We've got can't sketch out to every ABC in the Bay Area.

All 204 of them. You know what that means.

Yeah, the fax machine needs a new cartridge.

No, that we're going to have this case cracked before Magda's wedding.

Well, great, because there ain't no way I'm missing my best friend's wedding.

That's not going to happen.

I'm going to have this thing wrapped up long before anyone says I do.

She's in the bathroom.

Frank?

Frank?

Francisco, please.

She wouldn't let me in.

That's why I had to break it.

It was so easy.

Finding her.

Getting in.

Frank, we need to read you your rights.

I know my rights.

Lisa was going to marry me.

Did you know that?

She loved me.

Well, Dr.

Jean...

That woman took away the only person who ever believed in me.

I wanted her to see the man whose life she destroyed.

The loser.

That's what she called me.

I wanted her to see that I'm a human being with a heart and a soul.

I didn't want to kill her.

Why did you kill her?

I begged her.

I stood over her.

And I begged her.

I even wrote it for her.

She refused?

She had her principles, she said.

So you shot her?

She didn't even know who I was.

Do you remember Lisa?

Or her letter?

We were nothing to her and she ruined our lives.

Yeah, this is Basso. Look, I got a code three. Something's bleeding. Hang on,

Frank. We got help on the way. Here, give me... Hey.

Hey.

That was Bob on the phone.

He called to say that he was sorry to apologize and that he wanted to be here,

but he felt... He felt it would be inappropriate.

Why didn't you tell me, Gigi? I mean, when did this happen?

Six weeks ago.

Geez, Gigi, how many times did we talk on the phone? You never said anything to

me. I was going to tell you.

I wanted to tell you.

But I didn't want to spoil everything for you, honey.

Gigi, I'm so sorry.

He said that he just met her and they fell in love.

In love? Wait a minute. He was crazy about you.

How many times did he ask you to marry him?

God, you see, this is my point.

You know, if it all ends like this, what the hell? It's not worth it.

Victor.

Gigi, I've been having doubts about this. I'm really scared.

Just because something happens to me doesn't mean it's going to happen to

Then what? Why am I second -guessing this whole thing? I mean, why am I

like this?

I'm being ridiculous, right?

No.

I mean, he's so great with Ben.

He's so great. He's so great with you.

Yeah, he is, he is, he is. Everything's perfect.

Shouldn't I be feeling something a lot bigger than I'm feeling right now? You

know? Magda, do you love him?

Yeah.

I do love him.

I do love him.

It's all gonna work out.

Yeah.

Bob's gonna come back.

Sure. Begging.

That's right.

Hey.

Lewis.

Thanks for coming by.

Have a safe trip.

Fingers crossed.

Good luck. What are you talking about?

Aren't you on your way out of here? I called to hide. They said you checked

I got an apartment.

Here? San Francisco?

Yeah.

Great little place up on Filbert.

I've been on three job interviews, too.

Regular nine -to -five type jobs?

No, I didn't know that. Come over and see you again.

Until I had something real behind this.

No, it was actually getting the job.

Doing the job.

That's the real part.

Every time I see you, Kate, I feel like we're on the verge of falling in love

again.

I feel like there's this strength that's in my heart.

It's attached to yours.

You've been reading Jane Eyre again.

You think I'm crazy?

You don't feel that? Pull him out of here.

Right now.

Willis, don't. Come.

Just give me a chance to prove myself, and we'll see what happens.

Hi, Magda. Hi.

Sorry about last night. I stopped by Selena's, and I figured, well, I already

missed the rehearsal dinner, so... Oh, so you were here in San Francisco.

Yeah, but I didn't get in till 7.

Next thing I knew, it was 9.

You know, Lily, next time you should just lie.

What are you talking about?

Well, I mean, it wasn't important enough for you to be here. You couldn't pull

yourself away from your best friend, Selena.

Magda, I was exhausted.

The plane was late. I didn't want to see everybody.

Yeah.

You know, Lily, why are you here?

What do you mean, at your wedding?

No, I mean, why are you really here?

You invited me.

Right.

Maybe I shouldn't have.

You know what?

I went out and bought your stupid bridesmaid's dress that I'm never going

wear again, okay? It cost me $285.

Oh. What do you want? I'm here.

You know what?

Here you go.

Here.

Take it.

Don't do me any favors, okay? You don't want to be here? You don't want to be

happy for me? Go back to L .A., Lily. Why do I even try?

Try? Trying?

is showing up here on time and being here for me, okay, and putting your own

damn personal feelings aside.

That's trying.

You know what, Lily?

I'm not going to let you ruin this for me.

But just go home, okay?

Fine. Have a great wedding.

Have a great life.

I couldn't be happier for you. Thank you.

Where's Magda?

11 o 'clock, manicure and pedicure.

She's got me booked for one at four. With any luck, I'll be too busy.

There's nothing wrong with a little pampering.

I don't pamper well.

It's too bad because Magda told me she scheduled a two -hour massage for you

tonight with someone named Sergei.

Hey, Jenny, I've got a match on the sketch.

A guy named Mort from ABC Cleaning Services on the phone.

I'm going to transfer Mort to you.

Said he had to fire a guy a couple of weeks ago. All he wanted to do was sweep

up hair in beauty salons. Got the address.

Call Mag and tell her we got a match on the hairband. Yep, here's your call.

Let me just add one more thing to my assessment of Dr. Jink. She was this

egotistical, critical, principled fool that people just roll over for. You

they trust her to make the most important decisions of their life.

What's this?

Dear Dr. Gene, I'm writing you because I have nowhere else to turn. My parents

want me to go back to this camp.

Something happened last summer and I know that same counselor is coming back.

It's so horrible I can't tell my parents about it. I can't even tell you.

And Gene told them to talk to his parents and if they didn't do anything

it to go to the police.

I carried that letter around for years.

Did something happen to you?

Not at camp.

With everything going on, why do you want to be here? Trust me, you're doing

a favor.

Remind me to never get married again, especially when my family's involved.

Come on now, we got Sergei parked back at my apartment, ready to rub us down.

Not in the mood, okay?

Come on now, complete with hot towels and essential oils? Jenny, don't do this

to me. Who decides what's essential?

Ready?

San Francisco Police!

Open up!

Right down the rabbit hole.

It was my first day at work.

I didn't know anyone.

So when I went out to lunch, I went out alone, of course. And I told

you this story a thousand times already.

So I found this little place and I sat down and I looked at the price.

I couldn't afford anything.

But they put the bread down. I was stuck.

And then the waiter asked if I minded.

Sharing the table with a gentleman.

And your father sat down.

Wait a minute.

Magda. Driver, can you stop the car?

Magda, what's the matter?

Stop the damn car!

Magda.

Driver!

He doesn't want to marry.

She's a nun.

Oh, God, I hope everything's all right.

More than all right.

Easy boy.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, get your hands off me. She's going to think we're together.

Kate. What, are you stalking her now?

Lewis. This is between Kate and me.

Lewis, you don't belong here. I just need a minute to talk.

Did you ever hear of a phone?

Are you talking to me? Do you see anybody else here? Oh, for crying out

Get the hell out of here, Lewis.

What, are you going to make me?

I didn't think so.

Why don't you try on somebody else's kimono?

Why don't you go back to Lithuania?

I hear the carp are running.

I'm warning you.

I'm scared, Lewis.

Kate's told me how you never follow through on anything.

That's only the first time.

Stop it!

If either of you think this is a turn -on for me, think again.

I caught the hairband. The hairband?

What the heck is that? Never mind.

Let's go.

Don't worry, mamita. Everything's going to be all right.

Mami, dame este pelo.

What am I going to do with it?

Come on.

I'll do it.

Thank you.

When you were late, I thought that maybe you'd change your mind.

I mean, people don't often get second chances.

I know that.

I also know that this is a gift that's been given to me, that you're a gift.

And Ben, I promise to love you and cherish you

every day for the rest of my life.

When I was chasing that lunatic, all I could think about was getting back here

to you to tell you how much I love you.

I've been dreaming about this day for a long time, Gabe.

And the beautiful part of that dream is that the man I dreamed about

and the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, my soulmate, has always

been you.

Take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.

Take this ring.

as a sign of my love and fidelity.