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Here, please, Dave, and put it on my
tab.
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Uh -oh, I'm sensing another trip to
Atlantic City.
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00:00:20,930 --> 00:00:25,230
You lost your shirt, didn't you? My
shirt? Please, I'm lucky I still have my
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00:00:25,230 --> 00:00:26,230
liver.
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00:00:26,710 --> 00:00:28,450
All right, here you go.
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00:00:28,950 --> 00:00:33,570
My famous chocolate amaretto souffle. It
tastes so scandalous when you're in bed
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00:00:33,570 --> 00:00:35,790
with your husband, you scream out his
name instead.
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Hi, honey. Hi.
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Missed your lunch today?
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00:00:40,490 --> 00:00:43,570
Yeah, I had this editorial luncheon over
at Chumley's today, and while I was
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there, I saw something, and I need some
advice on how to handle it.
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You see, this is why I love coming in
here.
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00:00:48,810 --> 00:00:52,550
We're like this extended family,
gathered each evening around this, well,
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long dinner table.
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Each during the news of our collective
days.
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00:00:56,770 --> 00:00:58,490
That'll be $5 .95, son.
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00:01:01,350 --> 00:01:03,710
Well, I probably shouldn't even be
talking about this, but...
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00:01:04,060 --> 00:01:07,500
Okay, you know, we're just sitting
around, you know, gnawing on steaks and
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politics, and I notice there's a guy
over in the corner booth making out with
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the cologne spritzer girl from
Bloomingdale's. I mean, their hands are
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00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:16,540
practically having sex on the placemats.
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I look again.
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and I see that this guy is Charles
Burgess.
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What? Are you kidding?
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Maybe it's Charles.
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The man has been out of prison less than
a month, and already he's fooling
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around with a spritzer girl. For God's
sake, they haven't even signed the
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divorce papers yet. Is that her lawyer?
Yeah, they're working over the final
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papers, but if you ask me, I think she's
doling. Well, do you think she knows
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that Charles is seeing somebody?
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If I don't know, how would she know?
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But now that I do, I think it's only
right that... She should be next.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa. Would you hold it? I
mean, should we really be butting in
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here? For all we know, you know, this
thing with the spritzer girl is a one
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-time fling. You know, Charles' way of
drowning his sorrows.
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She's a spritzer girl, Jack.
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I have no sympathy for a man who will
settle for cheap sex in a free umbrella.
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00:02:07,370 --> 00:02:11,350
And by the way, how do you know that
it's the spritzer girl from
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Well, you must know, Dana, the spritzer
girl from Saks is blonde here.
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00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:21,920
Mrs. Berkus, you have to remember, you
instigated the divorce proceedings. You
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have to give your husband something in
the settlement.
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Well, it's not going to be the stadium
blanket.
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Charles is going to Yale football games
without me. He can freeze his little
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bulldogs off for all I care.
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Mrs. Berkus, at the risk of sounding
insensitive, now, I've been down this
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before. And when it gets to the moment
of the truth, some people have a
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to drag their feet.
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All right.
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He can have the stadium blanket.
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00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:47,960
And what's... Left of the case of
Pennzoil.
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00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:53,480
But I want, uh, I want the monogram
Croquet set. Get on the phone. Get that
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me.
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So, Nadine, how's it going over there?
Well, I'm just grateful that it could
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be so amicable.
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Charles was being really very good about
this. Very patient, very understanding.
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And very deceitful, you know? He cheated
his clients, and if he could cheat
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00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:09,740
them... Dana, what are you saying?
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I'm just saying that... Cheater,
cheater, pumpkin eater, okay?
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Yeah, whatever. I'm just going to sign
these and move on with my life.
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Mr. Perkins will be happy to know that
Charles has agreed to give you the
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blanket and the croquet set. And the
workmate.
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00:03:28,610 --> 00:03:32,510
The workmate? That's right. You can saw
on it. You can pound on it. You can
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plane a door on it. It's a hundred tools
in one, and he's trying to sneak it by
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as a single item. Get that for me.
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00:03:37,490 --> 00:03:39,450
Okay. Okay, I'll get the workmate.
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But before I make this call, is there
anything else you'd like? What, the
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00:03:43,230 --> 00:03:43,989
cleaner bags?
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00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:44,990
The hedge clippers?
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00:03:47,150 --> 00:03:49,450
It's true. I'm having second thoughts
here.
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But nevertheless, I'm ready to sign.
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00:03:55,470 --> 00:03:57,370
Really? I don't believe it.
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00:03:57,750 --> 00:03:58,910
All right, great.
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00:03:59,310 --> 00:04:02,570
I'll make today's changes on the
documents, and I'll have them messaged
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00:04:02,570 --> 00:04:03,570
you in the next two hours.
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00:04:07,650 --> 00:04:08,650
Oh, boy.
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00:04:12,110 --> 00:04:15,310
So, Nadine, what are you doing tonight,
huh?
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00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:21,320
Oh, nothing much. I just thought I'd
throw a lean cuisine into the oven and
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my wedding album on fire.
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00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:28,020
That's not bad, but I think maybe you
should, you know, go out, have a little
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fun, cut loose. You know, I hear there's
a great new supper club over on Prince
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Street called Madeline's. Things don't
even start to get interesting until
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10 there. We could finish up here, and
then we could all go over there and make
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00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:40,260
a little noise. What do you say?
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Yeah, I've heard of Madeline's. It's
supposed to be really hip and hard to
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into. My friend Steve was rejected from
there just last week.
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00:04:48,540 --> 00:04:51,760
Could it have anything to do with his
ski lift tickets he still wears on his
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jacket from 1975?
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It's really, really, really nice of you
all to offer, but I think I better be
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00:04:57,860 --> 00:05:01,560
alone tonight. Oh, no, that's exactly
what you shouldn't do. Come on, Nadine,
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this is a whole new start for you. One
of those rare moments in life when you
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00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:09,520
get a completely clean slate. Come on,
you gotta make the most of it. Well...
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00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:10,520
I'll tell you what.
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I'm gonna give you the rest of the day
off.
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Say what?
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I want you to go out and do something
outrageous.
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00:05:17,910 --> 00:05:23,250
Go swim in the fountain at the plaza.
No, that's frozen. Go run barefoot in
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park. No, that's closed until I find
that sniper.
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Have breakfast at Tiffany's. What am I
saying? It's not really a restaurant.
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00:05:29,950 --> 00:05:33,530
Well, just go with the classics. Buy
some clothes. Get a new haircut.
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00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:37,410
Reinvent yourself. That's exactly what
you need to do. Oh, you know, that does
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sound awfully tempting.
102
00:05:38,850 --> 00:05:40,430
Well, then do it. What do you got to
lose?
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00:05:40,710 --> 00:05:41,710
Oh, all right. Okay.
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00:05:42,010 --> 00:05:47,680
Yes. I will? Gee, I am getting a little
excited here. This is great. It'll be
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like a coming out party, except I won't
wear a white dress. Maybe something
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black and strapless.
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Gosh, I wonder if that thigh cream works
on your upper arms. Okay.
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00:05:58,280 --> 00:05:59,280
Hi,
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00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,180
my name is Sean. I'll be your waiter
this evening.
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Excuse me.
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00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:09,660
We didn't order this.
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It's complimentary.
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Oh. And we'll need more.
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00:06:13,500 --> 00:06:16,860
Sean, I think we're ready to order our
drinks. I'd like a glass of champagne.
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Here for me, please.
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00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:22,560
And, Sean, I'm hosting this little party
for a friend of ours who's going to be
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here soon. If you could just do me a
favor.
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When she comes and orders her drink, if
you would just ask to see her ideas.
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She's under 21?
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No, Sean, she's not. But I think it will
make her very happy.
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And if she's happy, we're happy.
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Oh,
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right.
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Sean, I'll just let Mr.
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00:06:44,430 --> 00:06:46,450
Washington here express how happy we
are.
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Thank you so much for this.
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I'll be back to take your order right
after I go call my wife, tell her she
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take the baby off the market.
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00:07:01,810 --> 00:07:03,870
Is it just me, or does this guy have an
attitude?
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Ooh, a real cigarette drill.
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00:07:09,010 --> 00:07:11,190
Wow, there are so many beautiful women
here.
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I can't believe it. I mean, look at that
one.
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And this one.
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And look at... Oh, my God.
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It's Nadine.
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00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:25,870
Oh, dear Lord, she looks like Times
Square Barbie.
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Don't stare. Don't say anything. Just
act casual.
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Hi, everybody.
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00:07:33,550 --> 00:07:34,830
Nadine, look at you.
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00:07:36,250 --> 00:07:40,370
Outrageous. I know. It's pretty wild,
huh? I took your advice, Dana.
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I went to a little boutique on 57th
Street and I said to the sales lady, I
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a whole new me.
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Just a big old brand new me because
that's what my friend Dana said I should
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I did say that, didn't I?
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And anyway, here I am.
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Nadine, unplugged.
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All right, and here's your champagne.
148
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:03,220
No, look.
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00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,760
Someone new has joined our little group.
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00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:08,900
Can I get you a drink?
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00:08:09,770 --> 00:08:10,950
Yeah, I'd like a white wine.
152
00:08:11,210 --> 00:08:12,310
All right, ma 'am.
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00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:19,890
Ma 'am, I'm afraid I'm going to have to
ask to see your ID,
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00:08:20,030 --> 00:08:21,030
please.
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00:08:22,290 --> 00:08:23,290
What?
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00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:28,150
Identification. It's a New York state
law. It's nothing personal. It's just we
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don't want to be accused of selling
alcohol to minors.
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00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:39,880
to the food portion of the evening.
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00:08:41,140 --> 00:08:42,099
Oh, great.
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00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:44,540
All the waiters in this town are going
to get one who's not an actor.
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00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:52,760
I'm sorry, Nadine. Forgive me. I thought
that that would be a fun and silly
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thing to do instead of the debasing and
humiliating experience that was for
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everyone here at the table.
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00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:00,400
That's okay, Dan.
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00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:02,060
Who am I kidding, anyway?
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00:09:02,420 --> 00:09:04,520
That sales lady said I looked whimsical.
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00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:06,800
Visionary.
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00:09:07,390 --> 00:09:11,990
I guess what she meant to say is that I
look like... I look like Cindy Lauper's
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00:09:11,990 --> 00:09:12,990
mother.
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00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:19,450
Truth is, I'm a little at sea here. Who
wouldn't be?
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00:09:19,730 --> 00:09:23,210
I haven't been out as a single person
since, oh, my God, 1973.
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00:09:24,470 --> 00:09:25,630
When I was five.
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00:09:27,070 --> 00:09:29,970
Of course, with Charles, it never
mattered how I dressed.
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00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:34,290
I could have worn the swimming pool
cover. He still would have wanted sex
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00:09:34,290 --> 00:09:36,530
night. I wonder what he's doing now.
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00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,380
You know, Nadine, I think there's
something you ought to know about.
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00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:47,120
Nadine, have you thought about how great
single life can be?
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00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:52,320
I mean, you can come and go as you
please. You can go to a party, not have
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00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,140
worry if he's having a good time.
180
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:58,300
Come home after work, have the whole
house to yourself.
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00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:03,100
You know, without there being a big mess
of newspapers all over the floor like
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00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:05,140
you're boarding a giant parakeet.
183
00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:12,320
No cereal bowls leaving the Olympic
rings on your end table. Just you and
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00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,060
cat and a glass of wine.
185
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:16,640
Thank God those days are over, right,
honey?
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00:10:19,980 --> 00:10:24,380
Ray, Ray, your cigarette girl's headed
this way. Pay for my meal and I'll
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00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:25,620
arrange for a proper introduction.
188
00:10:26,740 --> 00:10:27,740
Okay.
189
00:10:29,220 --> 00:10:30,220
Sorry.
190
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:32,560
This is Ray.
191
00:10:37,710 --> 00:10:40,710
I was wondering, a pack of cigarettes,
please.
192
00:10:41,130 --> 00:10:43,090
Just something with a rich, bold flavor.
You pick.
193
00:10:44,050 --> 00:10:45,610
Here you are.
194
00:10:46,050 --> 00:10:47,009
Thank you.
195
00:10:47,010 --> 00:10:48,530
Well, this is a brand with a great
billboard.
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00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:52,150
Young couples in love, playfully teasing
each other on a sailboat.
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00:10:53,790 --> 00:10:55,910
Fresh, salt air blowing through their
hair.
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00:10:56,110 --> 00:10:58,750
I mean, you never guess, they wake up in
the morning hacking up big balls of
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00:10:58,750 --> 00:10:59,750
flim.
200
00:11:00,870 --> 00:11:01,870
Here's your change.
201
00:11:03,050 --> 00:11:04,050
Take care.
202
00:11:07,470 --> 00:11:08,470
I'm in the door.
203
00:11:11,950 --> 00:11:14,310
I've got a good idea. How about a toast?
204
00:11:14,710 --> 00:11:18,210
Yeah. To Nadine's renaissance.
205
00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:24,410
The closing of one chapter and the
beginning of a new one. Aw, thank you,
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00:11:24,410 --> 00:11:25,349
and everyone.
207
00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:29,170
I look forward to the future. I really
do.
208
00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:32,810
At the same time, I don't want to throw
away my past, you know?
209
00:11:33,210 --> 00:11:36,010
Oh, I have a lot of fond memories of
those last 23 years.
210
00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:40,890
Even little things like folding that
first basket of laundry with Guinevere's
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00:11:40,890 --> 00:11:46,410
tiny feety pajamas in. There was a lot
of pride in that first fold. Then a lot
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00:11:46,410 --> 00:11:49,230
of built -up anger and resentment in
that 200th fold.
213
00:11:49,470 --> 00:11:53,790
Then a certain kind of joy in that 800th
fold when you watch the kids leave the
214
00:11:53,790 --> 00:11:54,790
house all wrinkled.
215
00:11:55,070 --> 00:11:58,730
You sip your third Manhattan, which
makes you feel guilty.
216
00:11:59,310 --> 00:12:02,790
So you go to therapy, which makes you
feel even more guilty because it's real
217
00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:03,790
expensive.
218
00:12:03,820 --> 00:12:05,960
But he's so cute and he listens so well.
219
00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:10,260
Just about that time you're saying, so
my life is flipping through my fingers,
220
00:12:10,380 --> 00:12:13,920
so I'll have time for myself once the
kids are out of grade school. Then you
221
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:17,080
it again, once they're out of high
school. Then, once they're out of
222
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:20,180
Then, once they're out of rehab and he's
out of prison.
223
00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:25,140
One day you find yourself, a divorcee,
dining with a group of people trying to
224
00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:29,000
cheer up an over -the -hill giant
fishing lure who's no longer capable of
225
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,560
snagging anything more than an old tire
and a bunch of steel.
226
00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:33,610
Cheers!
227
00:12:40,710 --> 00:12:45,070
I can't believe this. It's been 45
minutes. Where the hell is the food?
228
00:12:46,550 --> 00:12:49,590
I'm so hungry, I'm starting to wonder
what you taste like between two pieces
229
00:12:49,590 --> 00:12:50,590
sourdough bread.
230
00:12:53,170 --> 00:12:54,230
Nadine, how you doing?
231
00:12:54,830 --> 00:12:56,050
You having a good time?
232
00:12:57,510 --> 00:13:00,390
Put the candle down, Nadine. You're
going to set your Twitter on fire.
233
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:04,070
But? At least that might get the
attention of the waiter.
234
00:13:05,110 --> 00:13:08,730
You know, I'm just sitting here thinking
about all the things I never did with
235
00:13:08,730 --> 00:13:09,689
my life.
236
00:13:09,690 --> 00:13:13,590
You know, for some reason, I always
thought I'd play the saxophone.
237
00:13:14,230 --> 00:13:20,450
You know, just rent one for six months,
learn to play all low and raunchy,
238
00:13:20,450 --> 00:13:22,150
and never tell anyone.
239
00:13:22,610 --> 00:13:26,930
But no, no. No, no, quiet, polite,
little, what can I bring to the PTA
240
00:13:27,030 --> 00:13:28,030
Nadine never did that.
241
00:13:28,470 --> 00:13:29,470
Never did any of that.
242
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:33,120
Never frosted my hair. Well, probably a
good thing.
243
00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:36,060
Never wrote that book.
244
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:38,600
Never wore white after Labor Day.
245
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:40,700
The list is endless.
246
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:41,920
You telling us.
247
00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:45,440
Hey, guys.
248
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,840
Hey, what are you doing with all those
cigarettes?
249
00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:50,260
I don't know.
250
00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,560
I was talking to Jeanette, the cigarette
girl, and one thing led to another.
251
00:13:54,580 --> 00:13:58,120
Anyway, I know we said we were not doing
gifts this year, but Merry Christmas
252
00:13:58,120 --> 00:13:59,120
and Happy Hanukkah.
253
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:08,220
So tell me, do I look cool?
254
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,440
Should I hold it like this, or should I
go with this one?
255
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,020
All right, all right. Who ordered the
corned beef?
256
00:14:17,980 --> 00:14:20,100
Hey, Jack, here's your pastrami.
257
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,480
Yeah, Dana, Monte Cristo.
258
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,660
And Ray, here's your egg salad.
259
00:14:26,340 --> 00:14:29,260
Nadine, they didn't have rice pudding,
so I got you tapioca instead.
260
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:31,720
Tapioca? Yeah.
261
00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:33,780
Oh, that's just so perfect.
262
00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:35,660
Tapioca.
263
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,560
The whole night's been tapioca.
264
00:14:38,380 --> 00:14:40,340
My entire life has been tapioca.
265
00:14:41,740 --> 00:14:42,599
Well, I'll eat it.
266
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:43,600
Get your hands off that.
267
00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:46,080
That's all I have left, you jackal.
268
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:51,880
Nadine, I'm sorry. I feel just terrible.
I thought a night out would do you
269
00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:53,420
good. Guess not.
270
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:57,500
Ah, Dana, that's okay. You were really
sweet to try. And you know something?
271
00:14:58,020 --> 00:15:00,880
I've been just sitting here for the last
half hour thinking, and you know what I
272
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:02,160
realized? I'm wrong.
273
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:03,940
This divorce is a mistake.
274
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:09,020
So Charles is totally overbearing, and
he's selfish, and he constantly
275
00:15:09,020 --> 00:15:10,020
my life. So?
276
00:15:10,460 --> 00:15:11,540
No marriage is perfect.
277
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,240
Is that a reason to get a divorce?
278
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:15,240
Now, Nadine, listen.
279
00:15:15,780 --> 00:15:19,260
You know, don't sell yourself short. I
mean, speaking as a guy, you're smart,
280
00:15:19,420 --> 00:15:21,380
you're attractive, you have other
clothes.
281
00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:24,820
What?
282
00:15:25,220 --> 00:15:26,940
What, am I wrong? You like this outfit?
283
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,600
I mean, I'm just trying to let her see
it from a guy's point of view, that's
284
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:31,600
all, and she's going to need it.
285
00:15:31,850 --> 00:15:35,310
Oh, don't listen to him, Nadine. No
matter what you're going through right
286
00:15:35,390 --> 00:15:38,070
you did the right thing signing those
divorce papers.
287
00:15:38,330 --> 00:15:42,350
That's just it. I didn't sign them. They
came this afternoon. I didn't have the
288
00:15:42,350 --> 00:15:46,170
guts. Oh, boy, am I lucky. You didn't
sign the papers. Why not?
289
00:15:46,650 --> 00:15:49,450
Maybe it's not too late to put this
whole thing back together.
290
00:15:49,850 --> 00:15:52,550
Jack, if you were Charles, what would
you be doing right now?
291
00:15:55,130 --> 00:15:57,130
I'll tell you exactly what he's doing.
292
00:15:57,760 --> 00:16:02,480
He's roaming the carpets of his cheesy
studio apartment, take -out cartons, his
293
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:03,480
only friends.
294
00:16:03,820 --> 00:16:07,040
He's too depressed to eat. He's too
anxious to sleep. I've got to go to him
295
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:10,240
right away. Oh, no, no, Nadine, don't do
that. Why? Give me one good reason why.
296
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:13,280
Well, you know, you'll see that case of
Pennzoil or get all weepy.
297
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,040
You're talking nutty.
298
00:16:15,340 --> 00:16:18,580
Okay, you know, you want to be part of a
threesome, two of whom will smell
299
00:16:18,580 --> 00:16:22,140
better than you? You're still nutty. All
right, all right, Nadine.
300
00:16:22,700 --> 00:16:25,820
I saw Charles and the spritzer girl from
Bloomingdale's in a restaurant
301
00:16:25,820 --> 00:16:26,820
together.
302
00:16:26,930 --> 00:16:28,550
Maybe they were sharing a friendly meal.
303
00:16:28,850 --> 00:16:29,850
I don't think so.
304
00:16:30,450 --> 00:16:33,930
Unless she had swallowed some bread the
wrong way and he was trying to suck it
305
00:16:33,930 --> 00:16:34,930
out.
306
00:16:37,650 --> 00:16:38,650
Oh, God.
307
00:16:40,210 --> 00:16:41,210
Oh, God.
308
00:16:42,150 --> 00:16:43,330
How humiliating.
309
00:16:44,430 --> 00:16:45,430
Thanks a lot, Jack.
310
00:16:45,670 --> 00:16:47,530
You couldn't keep something like this to
yourself.
311
00:16:48,910 --> 00:16:50,530
Would everybody please excuse me?
312
00:16:55,340 --> 00:16:56,540
I told you not to say anything.
313
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:06,900
A bittersweet melody.
314
00:17:07,740 --> 00:17:08,740
Yes.
315
00:17:09,599 --> 00:17:12,260
Sort of fitting for what I'm going
through right now.
316
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:14,520
Nothing really.
317
00:17:15,099 --> 00:17:16,579
Just a little bit of agony.
318
00:17:17,220 --> 00:17:19,000
We all go through something sometime.
319
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:21,560
You're very wise.
320
00:17:27,369 --> 00:17:28,369
Is that me?
321
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,190
You have a good voice.
322
00:17:31,430 --> 00:17:33,130
Oh, thank you.
323
00:17:34,290 --> 00:17:37,090
I'm not one usually to sing around the
piano.
324
00:17:37,330 --> 00:17:39,930
In fact, I never sing in public.
325
00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:41,550
Too scared, I guess.
326
00:17:41,790 --> 00:17:42,790
Too bad.
327
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:01,189
How about you?
328
00:18:01,190 --> 00:18:02,190
Everything good?
329
00:18:03,190 --> 00:18:05,050
Oh, that's good.
330
00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:11,350
You know, I'm kind of going through a
rough time right now.
331
00:18:12,410 --> 00:18:14,610
My husband and I just split up.
332
00:18:15,650 --> 00:18:18,950
Anyone else out there going through
something similar?
333
00:18:20,990 --> 00:18:21,990
You.
334
00:18:22,990 --> 00:18:24,910
You look like someone would divorce you.
335
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:34,260
Well, then this little number's for you
and me and anyone else who relates.
336
00:18:35,780 --> 00:18:39,620
For when you're feeling lonely and you
open the refrigerator.
337
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:47,400
For when you're sitting alone in the
dark waiting for the phone to ring.
338
00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:54,980
For when your eyes get bigger and they
start
339
00:18:54,980 --> 00:18:56,160
to lose.
340
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:57,920
They're glimmer. Pick it up, please.
341
00:18:58,260 --> 00:19:00,660
The tears go bolder.
342
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,920
Seemingly, they're colder.
343
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:09,680
And all because of the man who goes
astray.
344
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:19,060
Oh, no, he'll never call the waiting
345
00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:20,740
off the wall.
346
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:24,380
The schemes you dream.
347
00:19:25,390 --> 00:19:27,690
Have all gone.
348
00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:38,310
The road gets rougher. He's on rear and
gruffer. He just won't own
349
00:19:38,310 --> 00:19:43,510
up. Tomorrow he may blow up. You got his
letter.
350
00:19:43,890 --> 00:19:46,790
You're home for a better day.
351
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:43,640
Love you, babe.
352
00:20:46,420 --> 00:20:47,820
I said Eddie.
353
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:54,180
You know, Nadine, I watched that like I
watched the Indy 500.
354
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:57,600
Kind of hoping for a crash, but pretty
glad when it didn't happen.
355
00:20:58,100 --> 00:21:02,240
Oh, Nadine, I'm so proud of you. The
only time I ever did anything like that
356
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:05,740
was... Oh, my God, there's something I
haven't done.
357
00:21:06,820 --> 00:21:08,720
Dana, I really have to thank you.
358
00:21:09,340 --> 00:21:12,180
I finally got what it was you were
saying. To me, you've got to put
359
00:21:12,180 --> 00:21:16,620
on a limb. It's really liberating. I
mean, who knows what else I can do?
360
00:21:17,340 --> 00:21:19,000
Oh, let me get my purse.
361
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,300
No, no. This is on us. It's our treat.
362
00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:24,140
Oh, you bet your sweet ass it is.
363
00:21:25,380 --> 00:21:28,040
I'm even swearing. No, this is what I
want.
364
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:29,600
My divorce paper.
365
00:21:35,380 --> 00:21:38,420
There. Boy, that was fast.
366
00:21:39,340 --> 00:21:40,620
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
367
00:21:41,020 --> 00:21:42,020
Oh.
368
00:21:42,820 --> 00:21:46,280
Okay, so what should we all do now? Get
the hell out of here.
369
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:58,640
You know, it's very satisfying when
you're meddling in someone else's life
370
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,220
it turns out the way it's supposed to.
371
00:22:00,780 --> 00:22:04,120
I think Nadine's gonna enjoy her
newfound freedom.
372
00:22:04,540 --> 00:22:07,560
You know, honey, you use that word
freedom more times than all of our
373
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:08,580
fathers put together.
374
00:22:09,659 --> 00:22:12,120
I think maybe you're trying to send me
some sort of signal, huh?
375
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,320
Well, what can I tell you?
376
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:20,840
I always like being on my own, but, eh,
this is pretty good, too.
377
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:25,880
Oh, good. I mean, you know, like there's
always somebody there to run out and
378
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,000
get your tampax when you're too lazy to
do it.
379
00:22:29,380 --> 00:22:30,540
Oh, yeah, that'll happen.
380
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:34,800
You know, like somebody calls and asks
you to go someplace and you don't want
381
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:38,260
go, you can always say, I'll check with
Jack and then just... You never call him
382
00:22:38,260 --> 00:22:40,440
back. Don't do that to my mother again,
okay?
383
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:48,000
But most importantly of all, there's
somebody there to pick up your part of
384
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,340
check when you forget your wallet.
385
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,400
Don't worry. I'll think of some creative
way for you to pay me back.
386
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:59,580
I hope you look good in a little French
maid's outfit, standing next to my TV,
387
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:00,680
changing my channel.
388
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:03,080
Yeah, that'll happen.
389
00:23:17,300 --> 00:23:18,440
Excuse me, Jeanette.
390
00:23:18,820 --> 00:23:21,040
I just wanted to thank you for all the
great service tonight.
391
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,820
Well, thanks, Ray. I really enjoyed
talking to you. You're not like everyone
392
00:23:24,820 --> 00:23:26,320
else here, hip and trendy.
393
00:23:26,700 --> 00:23:27,700
Well, thank you.
394
00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:30,860
Now, I was wondering if maybe you'd like
to go out with me sometime.
395
00:23:31,340 --> 00:23:33,300
Oh, Ray, I'd absolutely love that.
396
00:23:33,940 --> 00:23:35,760
Only, sorry, I don't date smokers.
397
00:23:36,700 --> 00:23:37,700
I can quit.
398
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:40,460
I may gain a few pounds, but I'd carry
the weight.
33327
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