All language subtitles for love_and_war_s02e21_are_the_stars_out_tonight

Come on, Dana.

I can't believe you hated my column. You
were my inspiration. I thought you'd be

thrilled. Jack, we had a private
conversation. You took what I said

out of context and put it in your
column.

Did Jack admit it? Whose side are you
on? Hers, Jack.

She said that sometimes being an
independent woman is not worth the

Isn't that exactly what you said? The
operative word there, Jack, was...

Sometimes you make it sound like a woman
can never get along without a man.

Trust me, I can change a tire and think
the world revolves around me just as

well as any man.

Casey, Jack, the only reason we really
need a man is so when we go to the

movies, we get someone to stand in line
for popcorn so we don't miss the coming

attraction.

I don't know why you're so upset.

I mean, nobody's even going to know it
was you I was talking about. I changed

your name, for God's sake. Oh, yeah, you
changed my name. Nobody would ever make

the connection between Dana Palladino
and Donna Pallamino.

Obviously, Dana, you are going to read
into this whatever you want.

Look, tomorrow, I'm writing an article
on Nelson Mandela. Try not to see

yourself in that, okay?

Hey, Jack. Hey, Ray. Well, look at you,
all dressed up.

Fighting a ticket or something?

I just don't like getting dressed up
today.

Hey, Jack, before you go, I wanted to
ask you something.

I know you and Dana, you spend a lot of
time together.

I don't know how to put this, but... I
mean, is there anything between you two?

Oh, yeah, there is.

Open hostility.

Hey, guys.

What about a white wine, Ed?

Yeah, a dry Chardonnay, a Pinot Grigio,
something.

Who the hell are you, James Bond?

Ray, Ray, look at you. Somebody has been
in the store slapping those racks.

Oh, boy, what a smart outfit this is,
too. Hey, come on, hop off that stool.

me have a look at you.

Ah, oh, yes, oh, very handsome.

Very nice. Now, did we leave an inch for
growth?

Oh,

good. How are we doing in the garage?
Hey, hey, Nadine, Nadine.

going on with you? Why aren't you
wearing that hideous green jumpsuit and

smelling like a dumpster behind a sushi
restaurant?

That's the Ray we know and love.

Yeah, but this is the Ray that Dana will
love.

Oh.

Oh, no.

This is about Dana?

Yep. Yeah, I've been hiding behind Ray,
the tough macho sanitation worker, long

enough. Last time she got to know this
Ray.

The Ray who likes poetry, fine
sculpture, the new yo -yo mob Bobby

Just tell me your underwear is still
white, man.

It's still white and baggy, isn't it?

Sweet mother of God.

Hey, people grow, eh, you know?

Great. I want you to listen to me.

Do you remember what happened to you in
April of 1986?

Think back.

Oh, yeah.

That was bad.

That's when I got turned down for that
Sears credit card. That's right, right.

And do you remember?

I had to come over to your house and
force you to get dressed after three

Yeah. Uh -huh. And do you remember how
you had to send your laundry out because

there was a Kenmore washing machine in
the building and every time you looked

it, it was like another slap in the
face?

Yeah. All right. Well, you're setting
yourself up for another big fall, Ray,

except this could be worse because after
Dana rejects you, she's not going to

cheerfully invite you to reapply every
six months.

Look, I don't care, Mary Margaret.

I'm crazy about Dana, all right?

I've been sitting around doing nothing
about it for way too long.

If I don't give it this shot, I'm going
to regret it my entire life.

You're not going to try and plead for
mercy on their behalf, are you?

Because let me tell you, the next stop
is a lemon butter sauce.

Nobody asked them to be bottom feeders,
right?

Oh, no, no, no. I think it'd be an honor
for any creature to be boiled alive by

you, Dana.

Picking up some trash over by the museum
the other day, and I remember about how

you said when you were a little girl
your dad took you to the planetarium one

time. Yeah, and I kept my coat on the
whole time because I really believed we

were outside.

Yeah, how he had to hold your hand the
whole time because you felt even littler

under the huge sky.

Yeah. I can't believe you remember that
story, right?

Oh, yeah, sure, I remember it.

It touched me. It reminded me of the
time my dad taught me how to grow up the

tub.

I just thought you'd like to know that I
happen to have two tickets for a Sunday

night show at the Planetarium.

Spring Sky.

I thought maybe I could pick you up at
six.

We'd go see the show, grab a bite
afterwards.

Oh.

Oh, Ray.

I just knew how, you know, you wanted to
see it again.

It would make me very happy to know that
I played a little part in helping you

relive some special memories.

Gee, Ray, that is so nice.

Oh, my God. Well, you're busy, of
course. Jeez, what was I thinking about?

I mean, what, you're going to be sitting
around waiting for the phone to ring?

No, I'm sorry, Dan. I'm such a jerk
sometimes. Oh, you're not. You're not,

You're a wonderful man. Just wonderful.
I... I'd love to

go to the planetarium with you.

You would?

Wow, that's great.

Yeah, this would be a good thing for us.
It gives us a chance to talk.

Well, great, great. Well, then, Sunday
at 6.

And Dana, Sunday, the heavens are ours.

All right, what happened? Don't leave
anything out. We'll decide what's

important.

Oh, God. All right, yes, ma 'am.

He laughed with a big smile on his face.
Now that he gave him a rub down with a

virgin olive oil, he said yes.

I couldn't turn him down, not here in
the kitchen, everybody coming through. I

mean, you know, he was looking at me
with those big old watery basset -hound

eyes. Oh, I know there are times I look
at him. Sometimes I just want to give

him a big bowl of kibble.

This is very bad. Dana, you know how Ray
is? He's going to read way too much

into this. I mean, if a waitress walks
up and says, Hi, my name is Sally. Let

know when you're ready. He thinks she's
coming on to him.

It'll just be Ray and me, and it'll be
good. It'll be a nice time for me to

a way to...

Let him down gently. You'll see. It'll
be fine. It'll be fine.

Only 48 hours and 17 minutes.

Sit down, please.

Take your seats.

Sit. Sit down.

Sit. It's a pretty interesting exhibit
out in the lobby, huh, Dana?

You know, I had no idea that we're
constantly transmitting messages into

space. Yeah.

I thought it was great they let us
record our own message. What did yours

Just one word.

Peace.

Oh, now I feel bad.

I said Tuesday night is alien night at
the Blue Shamrock.

Here, I got a program for you.

Did you know that Venus is the goddess
of love?

Huh.

A car made in Kentucky that has a very
high consumer satisfaction rate.

You look very beautiful tonight, Dana.

Oh, I don't.

I'm all bloated. And when I start
putting on weight, oh, boy, I can just

up overnight. Once I weighed 200 pounds,
I had no neck. That's not a good look

for a woman. I was just... I waddled.

Well, that just means there'd be more of
you to... Quiet.

Quiet, please.

Quiet.

Better.

Quiet.

Shh. Good.

Welcome to the planetarium.

Tonight we have with us the New Jersey
chapter of MENSA, an organization well

known for its superior intelligence and
passion for knowledge.

We're delighted to have you in our
midst, MENSA members.

And now, without further interruption, I
give you our springtime presentation

of... The heavenly planets formed

billions of years ago by a gigantic
explosion which gave birth to our solar

system. The planets of our solar system,
in order of their mean distance from

the sun, are Mercury, Venus, our home,
Earth, Mars,

Jupiter, Saturn,

Uranus, Neptune, and

Pluto.

Mercury is the closest to the sun.
Excuse me, Dr. Baxter?

Yes, sir. A question from one of our
MENTA guests.

What was the planet after Saturn? I'm
afraid I didn't hear you.

The planet after Saturn is Uranus.

All right. All right, people.

Let's get this straight right now. There
are two pronunciations of the word.

Nowadays, the more common is Uranus. But
I'm from the old school, and I prefer

Uranus.

Can you believe these people?

Are they ruining it for you, Dana?

No. All the planets are completely
unique.

Utterly different in size, density, and
composition.

Excuse me, Dr. Baxter. I was wondering,
is Neptune similar in size and

composition to any other planet?

An excellent question.

Neptune is similar in size and
composition to Uranus.

And I can turn off this

solar system with a flick of a switch.

I'm sorry. We're just interested in
Uranus.

All right, now stop it.

Come on, this is disgusting.

What's so disgusting about Uranus?

Well, real mature, people.

Yeah, real mature.

All I can say is thank God for sparing
me a college education.

All right, then, let's continue.

There's more like it, huh?

This really is a special night, isn't
it, Dana?

Look, there's the Big Dipper.

And that's Taurus the Bull.

And that's Leo. He's my favorite.

I'm a Leo.

I've been looking forward to this night
ever since I met you, Dan.

Ray, I'm afraid this night is not going
to

be what you imagined.

What do you mean?

Maybe I should have said something
before we went out.

I thought this was just going to be
casual.

Oh, my God, I'm being too forward. Hey,
it's all right.

I'm an animal. Hands everywhere.

Hey, if I've offended you, I will never
forgive myself. No, please.

I'm touched that you feel the way you
do. It's just... You're a wonderful guy,

Ray.

I just... I can't return those feelings.

You deserve somebody better than me. I
waste water.

I don't recycle. I say I do, but I
don't.

I'm opinionated. I'm set in my ways.

I never had a relationship to laugh at.
I mean, I'll probably end up with

somebody just like me.

Somebody like Jack?

What? That's who you're describing. I
mean, who else could it be?

I guess I should have seen something.

Well, you guys are fighting all the
time.

You weren't fighting at all. You were
mating.

Don't be ridiculous. How could we have a
future?

He doesn't even want a relationship.

Yeah, I think he does.

Why? Did he say something?

Not in so many words, but all the signs
are there.

I guess I'd block them out for my own
selfish reasons.

Ray.

I'm okay with it.

Don't worry.

I just needed my chance tonight.

You know, that's all.

I just needed my chance.

The stars are out.

We can still enjoy the show, can't we?

Can't we do that?

Sure.

Jupiter's gravity is so strong.

I think he took it really well. I was
honest and direct. I said that I

return his feelings, but that I
certainly valued his friendship, and he

to accept it.

Hey.

Hi, Ray.

Hey, Dana.

Boy, I sure could use a cup of coffee.
Oh, hey. Coming right up.

And, Ray, thanks again for last night.
Oh, it's my pleasure.

Hey, look, there's no such thing as a
secret around here, so you can all stop

pretending like you don't know what
happened last night.

I'm fine.

It's no biggie, right, Dana?

No biggie.

Hey, everybody.

Oh, hi.

Well,

Dana, here it is, today's column.

Look, I thought about what you said,
and, well, I wrote this one for you.

A complete apology to Donna Palomino.

really something, Jack.

I'm touched.

I just wanted to know that Jack Stein
was still capable of growing as a human

being.

That's great. Maybe in a couple of years
you'll be able to see over the steering

wheel of a car.

What? Oh, nothing.

Just make a little joke. Oh.

Are you surprised?

You know, you're not the only one around
here with a sense of humor, Jack.

I didn't say that I was.

Oh, excuse me.

You see, I thought we were all supposed
to think that you were the center of the

universe, Jack. Well, I got news for
you. I was at the planetarium last

and you know, I didn't see your face up
there.

Although I did see your anus.

Ray, are you all right?

Oh, now there's something wrong with me?

There's always something wrong with
everybody else, isn't there, Jack?

You know, Ray, I'm thinking maybe there
were a few things last night we didn't

talk out.

What happened last night? Oh, come on,
Jack.

You know, I... I thought I could handle
seeing you.

You lied to me, Jack. You said there was
nothing going on between you and Dana.

There is.

She told me. What?

I mean, how could you let me make such a
fool out of myself?

How could you be that cruel, man?

Ray. Ray, you got this all wrong. Oh,
come on, Ray. Wait.

Dana, what the hell is going on here?

I don't think I should talk about it.

Oh, you're going to talk about it.

Dana, why? Why is Ray so angry with me,
and why is he saying that I'm the one

you're really interested in? I don't
know. I just went in on what I hoped

be a casual date, but he kept asking if
there was somebody else, and I mean, you

know, there's not. I only said that you
might be the kind of guy who... What

kind of guy?

Who, to under other circumstances,
might...

Why am I going on? Do you even care?

I mean, I don't not care.

Hypothetically speaking.

We are speaking hypothetically, right?

Yeah.

Hypothetically.

Yeah. Sure, hypothetically. I mean, I
might even... I can think of you as a

person who... Well, you know.

You know what?

Well, you know.

You know.

You know, Ray is out there. I should
really go find him. Yeah, absolutely. I

mean... We shouldn't be here talking
about us when he's out there on the

streets.

All right, Hannah.

I get going, then.

But, um, hypothetically, we could
continue this conversation. Yes.

Hypothetically.

You better go.

Right.

Look, Dana, I looked all over for him. I
left like 20 messages for him. I even

called his mother, which was tough
because my Lithuanian is rusty.

The only thing I could gather was that
she hadn't seen Ray and Stalin was

over for his piano lesson.

Hold on.

Who is it?

It's me, Sanitation Man.

Open the door, I'll dent all your cans.

He's here. I'll call you later.

Hey, Jack.

What are you doing here?

I live here, right?

All right.

Oh, man, what have you done to yourself?

You're going to find out sooner or
later, so I might as well tell you. I've

drinking. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I saw it in a movie once.

When your heart gets broken, you go on a
bender.

So I decided to drink my way through the
alphabet.

Yeah, I started with A for alcohol.

And I worked on the B for Mr.

Booze, and the C for cocktails, and D
for delightful little cocktails. Okay,

okay, all right, all right, all right,
all right, look. Let me just get you

coffee. Oh, that's a good idea, Jack.

Wait, hey, hey, Jack, I already did the
C, come on.

Well, let's do one with the Danish
spelling, which is with a K.

Okay, look, wait, wait, no, no, no,
look, just, just sit, would you please?

no, no, I've been having a lot of
trouble with that, no.

Hey, Jack.

What? Still a big wall right here.

You got tools.

Just stop moving for a minute. Ray, come
on. We need to talk, all right?

Ray, look, I know why you're here.

What? Because you want to kill me.

That's a very good idea, my friend. How
should we do it? Try and focus, Ray,

please. I mean, look, this whole thing
with Dana, you know, we've got to clear

the air.

Look how big my feet are, Jack.

All right, look, I'll start.

Now, look, Ray, I know what you must be
going through.

Rejection is never easy, but I'm here
for you, buddy, and we can talk things

like we always do.

No, I'd like that, Jack, because you're
the guy I like to come to when I have a

problem, but this time you're the
problem.

I love that woman, Jack.

I love her.

The problem is, it's you that she wants.

Seriously, huh?

I mean, when is it going to be my turn?

Where's my girl?

I mean, Rush Limbaugh has a girl.

Hitler had dates.

Meatloaf. All right, look, if you say
so.

I mean, you're asking the wrong guy. I
mean, no one knows less about women than

I do. I mean, I'm as alone as you are.

Yeah, but you don't have to be.

See, that's what makes me unlucky, and
you a schmuck.

It's not that easy. I'm not even sure
I'm ready for another relationship.

What the hell is wrong with you, man?
How often does somebody really special

come along, huh? I mean, look, it just
doesn't seem that things work out the

you want them to. Hey, hey, but it can.

What are you saying, Ray?

What I'm saying is... I'm giving Dana to
you.

You're kidding.

Yeah.

Make her happy, Jack.

It is Jack, isn't it? It's a sign. It's
all porn.

Ray.

This is really nice of you.

But what about us?

Getting a little greedy now, aren't you?

No. I mean, a thing like this could
wreck our friendship.

I mean, we go back too far for that.

I mean, I want to know that, you know, I
can still call you up one night and

say, hey, Ray, you know, let's go out
and shoot some pool. I mean, I want to

still be able to do that.

You never did that before.

I'm reaching, but, you know, if we
wanted to, you know.

It does sound pretty good, though,
doesn't it?

Yeah, it does sound good.

What do you say we go right now and
shoot some pool?

Sure, come on.

Yeah, I'll go shoot some pool with my
old buddy Jack, huh? Maybe later we'll

grow beards.

We'll grow beards.

Hey, we'll pick up some chicks, huh? Oh,
no, Ray, you can't call them chicks

anymore, trust me.

Babes? No.

Skirts? No, don't even think about it.

Teach me, Jack.

We'll learn together, Ray.

I'll drive.

No, don't.

So he threw up. We went out. He shot a
little pool. We found around town a

little. He threw up again.

It was a fantastic night and raised
funds.

Fantastic night out always includes
throwing up. What is that?

I don't know.

But why didn't you call me? I was in the
mood to throw up.

Well, I'm just glad this whole thing is
finally resolved. I miss that sweet,

lovable guy who sits at that bar every
night.

And here he is now.

Hey, Dina.

Hi, Ray.

I just thought you'd like to see what
you're missing.

Excuse me, Dr. Baxter.

What was the purpose of the Voyager
space probe? The sole purpose of the

space probe was to explore the planet
Uranus.

Saturn and Jupiter have rings around
them. Didn't they recently discover

around another planet?

Yes, scientists discovered rings of
debris around Uranus.

Is that the proper pronunciation for the
name of that planet?

Yes, it is.